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*THIRTEEN REASONS WHY?*
Season 04 Episode 10
2
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Somebody help!
3
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,501
Somebody help,
please!
4
00:00:40,382 --> 00:00:41,617
Back up!
5
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:48,797
That was a week ago.
6
00:00:54,094 --> 00:00:56,484
He's been in the hospital
ever since.
7
00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:02,001
Intensive care.
8
00:01:02,223 --> 00:01:05,101
Your mother called
to cancel your Tuesday appointment.
9
00:01:05,204 --> 00:01:07,669
She told me some of what
Justin's facing.
10
00:01:08,728 --> 00:01:10,509
Yeah, it's not great.
11
00:01:10,769 --> 00:01:12,394
How does it
make you feel?
12
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,227
What the fuck does it matter
what I feel?
13
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,501
I think it matters
a great deal.
14
00:01:17,646 --> 00:01:19,602
- You know that.
- I don't know that!
15
00:01:19,687 --> 00:01:20,727
I don't know anything.
16
00:01:20,812 --> 00:01:22,924
We talk and talk,
and nothing happens,
17
00:01:23,009 --> 00:01:24,696
and.. I still feel like
I'm gonna spin off
18
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:26,049
the face of the fucking Earth,
19
00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:28,299
then we keep talking,
and we don't get anywhere!
20
00:01:28,428 --> 00:01:31,187
You don't think we made any progress
these past few months?
21
00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:34,127
No! I just...
all of this just seems so...
22
00:01:34,212 --> 00:01:36,009
I don't know!
Like selfish!
23
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,564
Talking about feelings...
24
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,969
to you...
25
00:01:40,406 --> 00:01:42,446
when Justin is... is...
26
00:01:45,265 --> 00:01:46,610
is sick.
27
00:01:47,032 --> 00:01:49,537
Because what he's going through
is so serious.
28
00:01:50,231 --> 00:01:52,891
And what you're going through
seems less important now
29
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:55,465
because his life hangs in the balance.
30
00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:57,137
Yes.
31
00:01:57,253 --> 00:01:59,178
But in the work
we do together,
32
00:01:59,263 --> 00:02:01,591
in trying to help you
get well,
33
00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:04,864
doesn't your own life
hang in the balance?
34
00:02:09,499 --> 00:02:10,785
Yes.
35
00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:12,892
So let's keep working.
36
00:02:15,574 --> 00:02:18,051
Do you wanna tell me
how it's been at the hospital?
37
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,582
Justin has given me
permission
38
00:02:22,855 --> 00:02:26,070
to discuss his treatment
and diagnosis with you.
39
00:02:27,807 --> 00:02:30,352
I'm afraid
I have some difficult news to share.
40
00:02:32,289 --> 00:02:35,168
Justin has tested positive
for HIV-1.
41
00:02:35,775 --> 00:02:38,780
And based on his symptoms,
we believe...
42
00:02:39,105 --> 00:02:41,442
it has progressed to AIDS.
43
00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,645
That's...
44
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,028
How is that possible?
45
00:02:48,221 --> 00:02:49,606
He... he had the flu.
46
00:02:49,699 --> 00:02:51,142
He's been tired.
47
00:02:51,227 --> 00:02:54,559
Well, HIV has a long period of latency
after infection,
48
00:02:54,778 --> 00:02:57,723
which means that Justin
may not have shown any symptoms
49
00:02:57,809 --> 00:02:58,919
for some time.
50
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,386
With his IV drug use
51
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:03,165
and extended periods
of homelessness,
52
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,598
this would have made him
more susceptible
53
00:03:05,793 --> 00:03:07,223
to rapid progression.
54
00:03:07,368 --> 00:03:10,244
And according to his records,
he was never tested.
55
00:03:10,329 --> 00:03:12,481
How... how has he
never been tested?
56
00:03:12,871 --> 00:03:14,195
We got him the best GP.
57
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,865
He had
a complete physical.
58
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:17,739
Testing requires
patient consent.
59
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,512
It's not uncommon
for a young man
60
00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:21,964
with a history of IV
drug use and sex work
61
00:03:22,049 --> 00:03:23,496
to avoid testing.
62
00:03:23,597 --> 00:03:24,950
Sex work?
63
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:28,864
Justin never
spoke to you
64
00:03:28,949 --> 00:03:30,700
about the time he
spent homeless?
65
00:03:33,876 --> 00:03:35,801
Not about that part, no.
66
00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:42,098
The pneumocystis pneumonia has
an indolent presentation,
67
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:44,071
which means that
the symptoms
68
00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,419
develop slowly
over some weeks,
69
00:03:46,504 --> 00:03:48,778
and there was
a late diagnosis...
70
00:03:50,368 --> 00:03:53,043
There is also
a neurological infection.
71
00:03:54,753 --> 00:03:58,598
A fungal meningitis
that has not advanced quite so far,
72
00:03:59,535 --> 00:04:01,262
but is pervasive.
73
00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:07,207
Hey.
74
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,996
- Hey.
- Um...
75
00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:11,482
How is it today?
76
00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:13,450
Uh,
it's like yesterday.
77
00:04:13,723 --> 00:04:15,020
Just a little worse.
78
00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:19,378
Uh, so, there's, like,
79
00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:21,315
a lineup of people
who'd like to see you,
80
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,543
but I understand
if you don't wanna see them.
81
00:04:23,751 --> 00:04:26,567
And I've organized a list
and given time limits, and...
82
00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,465
Of course you have.
83
00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:33,981
Yeah, sure.
84
00:04:35,727 --> 00:04:37,012
Bring it on.
85
00:04:38,287 --> 00:04:40,132
I'll send in
the first appointment.
86
00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:00,263
Listen, the, uh...
87
00:05:01,322 --> 00:05:05,001
The doctor was talking us through stuff,
and, uh...
88
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,539
Hey.
89
00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:10,012
I'm sorry, Charlie made me.
90
00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,385
Charlie can come in
too.
91
00:05:17,164 --> 00:05:19,703
See, I told you he wouldn't mind
both of us at once.
92
00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:22,712
- I'll put it here.
- Uh...
93
00:05:22,797 --> 00:05:24,922
They wouldn't let us
bring in any flowers, so...
94
00:05:25,273 --> 00:05:27,609
So, giant bears.
Basically, the same thing.
95
00:05:29,058 --> 00:05:31,812
- His name's Tiger.
- This is a panda.
96
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:34,342
- Tiger panda.
- Yeah.
97
00:05:34,427 --> 00:05:35,441
I like it.
98
00:05:35,562 --> 00:05:38,678
It's like the whole world
just shifted out from under our feet.
99
00:05:39,987 --> 00:05:42,631
Like the darkness just
closed in.
100
00:05:44,255 --> 00:05:45,647
Prom pictures.
101
00:05:46,219 --> 00:05:48,144
Some good ones of you
and Estela.
102
00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:50,927
You should frame one
for her.
103
00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:52,413
Oh, wow.
104
00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:54,732
Wow, these are really
great.
105
00:05:55,017 --> 00:05:56,413
Hey, thank you.
106
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,733
I know
it was Jessica...
107
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:02,147
who killed Bryce.
108
00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:04,457
And I know Clay and Ani
109
00:06:04,542 --> 00:06:06,937
and some group of you
framed Monty.
110
00:06:07,391 --> 00:06:10,100
I almost have what I need
to go to the police.
111
00:06:10,881 --> 00:06:12,433
But I don't have to
include you.
112
00:06:14,096 --> 00:06:15,436
You got it all wrong.
113
00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:16,983
You don't really know
anything,
114
00:06:17,068 --> 00:06:20,092
and Jessica and Clay
and Ani,
115
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,530
they're my friends.
116
00:06:22,652 --> 00:06:24,194
So anything you do
to them,
117
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:25,756
you do to me
too.
118
00:06:52,385 --> 00:06:54,233
I think he was ashamed.
119
00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:56,982
That's why
he didn't tell you?
120
00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:01,030
I... I wouldn't have, like,
judged.
121
00:07:01,227 --> 00:07:02,652
It's not that.
122
00:07:02,861 --> 00:07:04,131
It just...
123
00:07:04,761 --> 00:07:06,226
It takes time.
124
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,995
To deal with
what is.
125
00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:14,444
Zach's downstairs.
126
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,233
He says
he can't come in.
127
00:07:17,216 --> 00:07:18,780
Fucking Zach.
128
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:26,030
Hey.
129
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,545
Hey, what the fuck?
130
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,663
- All right, get upstairs.
- I can't, man. I just...
131
00:07:31,905 --> 00:07:33,647
Hospitals.
132
00:07:34,023 --> 00:07:35,488
You need to see him.
133
00:07:37,737 --> 00:07:40,332
Man, I watched my dad die
in this hospital.
134
00:07:41,246 --> 00:07:42,389
Yeah?
135
00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:45,022
Yeah, me and my dad
136
00:07:45,389 --> 00:07:46,919
brought my mom
home from this hospital
137
00:07:47,105 --> 00:07:48,990
so she could die in her own bed.
138
00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,778
And you know what? Right now,
your best friend is really sick upstairs,
139
00:07:53,863 --> 00:07:54,946
and if you don't go see him,
140
00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:57,928
you are gonna regret this
for the rest of your fucking life!
141
00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:02,702
I can't, man.
142
00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:04,201
I can't.
143
00:08:05,887 --> 00:08:09,192
Like, prom was actually
our last chance at being kids.
144
00:08:10,678 --> 00:08:12,069
Then all of a sudden,
145
00:08:12,675 --> 00:08:13,913
playtime over.
146
00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:22,822
There's no more hiding from it,
147
00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,545
what's out there.
148
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:31,084
Hi. I was really surprised
you texted me.
149
00:08:31,892 --> 00:08:33,170
It was me.
150
00:08:36,915 --> 00:08:38,590
I killed Bryce Walker.
151
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,919
- You're lying.
- No.
152
00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:48,998
I found him on the pier.
I was alone.
153
00:08:49,217 --> 00:08:51,273
I tried to help him up.
He threatened to hurt Zach.
154
00:08:51,358 --> 00:08:53,045
I shoved him in the river.
He drowned.
155
00:08:55,361 --> 00:08:57,467
- Alex.
- Yeah, so...
156
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,498
that information is
yours now.
157
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,295
Do what you want
with it.
158
00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:20,633
The ventilator breathes
for him.
159
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,764
It keeps his blood
oxygenated
160
00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:25,780
and helps protect
against organ failure.
161
00:09:28,564 --> 00:09:30,489
How long does he
have to be on it?
162
00:09:34,048 --> 00:09:35,263
Uh, honey...
163
00:09:40,054 --> 00:09:42,819
He may never be able to breathe
without it again.
164
00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:47,264
So, like,
165
00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:49,304
when he gets
out of the hospital?
166
00:09:53,605 --> 00:09:55,795
The disease in his lungs
is quite advanced.
167
00:09:56,072 --> 00:09:57,803
And we're also starting
to see
168
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,791
advanced neurological
symptoms.
169
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:03,949
The goal is to keep him
as comfortable as possible
170
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:07,147
and manage the symptoms
as best as we can.
171
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,665
Honey! Clay?
172
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,045
I feel like I just...
I need some air.
173
00:10:14,493 --> 00:10:18,048
- Clay!
- Does he just need some space?
174
00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,079
Should we give him space?
175
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,139
Now? Is that really
a good idea?
176
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,360
Whoa! Clay! Clay, what happened?
Is everything OK?
177
00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:34,655
What do you fucking think,
Zach?
178
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,675
He's never getting any better!
He's fucking dying!
179
00:10:41,212 --> 00:10:42,887
Should we go after him?
180
00:10:43,215 --> 00:10:45,069
Jesus, I don't know.
181
00:10:46,873 --> 00:10:48,008
Where'd he go?
182
00:10:48,093 --> 00:10:49,756
Uh, up the street, that way.
183
00:10:49,841 --> 00:10:51,428
Where's he going?
What's down there?
184
00:10:51,513 --> 00:10:53,045
No clue, Mr. Jensen.
185
00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:03,282
And we can't stop it.
We can't stop it.
186
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:04,498
We can't.
187
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:07,678
We're spinning and spinning,
and we're about to disappear.
188
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,756
I, um...
189
00:12:02,408 --> 00:12:03,713
I have a gun.
190
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,998
I said I have a gun!
191
00:12:11,578 --> 00:12:13,495
And I'll fucking use it
if I have to,
192
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,122
so everybody back
the fuck up!
193
00:12:15,207 --> 00:12:17,139
I have a gun.
I have a gun!
194
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:18,991
- Clay.
- Clay, hey.
195
00:12:19,497 --> 00:12:20,794
Hey, what's going on here?
196
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:22,304
I... I have a gun.
197
00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:24,358
All right, well,
let's just take a breath here.
198
00:12:24,758 --> 00:12:26,561
Slowly take your hands
outta your pockets
199
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,697
so no one gets hurt.
200
00:12:27,782 --> 00:12:29,011
People are already hurt!
201
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:30,936
Nobody pays for
the things that happen!
202
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:33,561
No one ever pays!
And someone should!
203
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:35,334
You must hurt so much.
204
00:12:35,513 --> 00:12:38,318
Put the gun down,
and we'll talk about it. OK?
205
00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:43,317
Clay?
206
00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:45,793
Clay?
207
00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:49,396
- Clay!
- Get down!
208
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,061
Hey, get down!
209
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,562
- Clay! What the fuck?
- Put your guns down!
210
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,023
Guys, put your guns down!
211
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,549
- Guns down, everybody!
- Tony?
212
00:12:56,749 --> 00:12:58,834
Put your guns down.
213
00:13:00,544 --> 00:13:01,866
Hey, Clay.
214
00:13:02,004 --> 00:13:03,559
Clay, listen to me, buddy.
215
00:13:06,339 --> 00:13:08,506
I know you're going through a lot
right now.
216
00:13:09,069 --> 00:13:10,719
I know you've been
through a lot.
217
00:13:10,804 --> 00:13:13,288
More than any kid
should ever have to deal with.
218
00:13:15,138 --> 00:13:16,428
But listen to me.
219
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,771
Everyone in this room?
Every one of those deputies?
220
00:13:20,856 --> 00:13:22,661
Everyone wants
the same thing,
221
00:13:22,998 --> 00:13:24,717
and that's for you to be safe.
222
00:13:24,964 --> 00:13:26,991
To stay alive. OK?
223
00:13:29,646 --> 00:13:32,405
Tony...
He's your best friend, right?
224
00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:36,350
Tony wants you
to be safe.
225
00:13:37,209 --> 00:13:39,170
And that's all
that matters right now.
226
00:13:40,662 --> 00:13:42,881
I can't promise
that it gets better right away.
227
00:13:44,707 --> 00:13:46,311
But the only chance we have,
228
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:49,413
the only way things can start
to feel better...
229
00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:52,356
is if you give me
that gun.
230
00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:55,123
OK?
231
00:13:55,844 --> 00:13:57,811
I promise you,
no one will hurt you.
232
00:13:58,997 --> 00:14:00,422
Just give me the gun.
233
00:14:03,536 --> 00:14:04,921
You can talk to me.
234
00:14:24,086 --> 00:14:25,301
It's OK.
235
00:14:25,986 --> 00:14:27,209
All right.
236
00:14:31,903 --> 00:14:33,128
All right.
237
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,319
Did you feel
that you wanted to die?
238
00:14:40,549 --> 00:14:42,327
No, that wasn't it.
239
00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:45,655
I just...
240
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:49,693
I wanted someone to...
241
00:14:50,949 --> 00:14:52,413
To notice you.
242
00:14:55,192 --> 00:14:56,795
To see
you were hurting.
243
00:14:58,526 --> 00:14:59,624
Yeah.
244
00:14:59,783 --> 00:15:01,217
All right.
All right, buddy.
245
00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:04,810
All right,
I'm here.
246
00:15:05,591 --> 00:15:06,952
You're safe.
247
00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:10,636
- We talked for a while...
- It's all right.
248
00:15:10,767 --> 00:15:12,272
...me and the Sheriff.
249
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:15,967
He didn't bust me
for pulling that stunt.
250
00:15:16,697 --> 00:15:17,952
And it was, like,
251
00:15:18,921 --> 00:15:20,766
almost like
he understood.
252
00:15:21,817 --> 00:15:23,194
Understood what?
253
00:15:23,366 --> 00:15:25,420
That I was freaking out.
And why.
254
00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:26,889
And I realized
255
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,373
that all that attention
he'd been giving me this spring?
256
00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,569
Like,
showing up at school
257
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,663
and meeting
with my parents,
258
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:35,920
he was worried
about me.
259
00:15:36,924 --> 00:15:38,631
And that surprises you.
260
00:15:38,751 --> 00:15:40,886
I mean,
he arrested me once.
261
00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:43,590
But in both cases,
then and now,
262
00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:45,541
wasn't he just doing
his job?
263
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:47,014
Yeah. And...
264
00:15:47,274 --> 00:15:49,788
I think maybe
he's pretty good at his job.
265
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:52,709
In a...
266
00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:55,319
sneaky,
manipulative way.
267
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,326
Like you.
268
00:15:58,472 --> 00:16:00,092
I'll take the compliment.
269
00:16:01,805 --> 00:16:03,947
After that, he, um,
put me and Tony
270
00:16:04,032 --> 00:16:06,163
in a room
while he talked to my dad.
271
00:16:06,563 --> 00:16:08,488
Tony had been
in a street fight.
272
00:16:09,115 --> 00:16:10,963
I'm not sure if
they put me in here
273
00:16:11,048 --> 00:16:13,163
to look after you or
the other way around.
274
00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:17,170
We haven't been doing that so great
for each other lately.
275
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,038
How's Justin doing now?
276
00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,514
Not better.
277
00:16:34,649 --> 00:16:35,998
There's this thing.
278
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,082
I mean,
I've been calling it hospital time.
279
00:16:38,845 --> 00:16:40,467
You lose track of days.
280
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,362
It's all one long day.
281
00:16:43,529 --> 00:16:46,491
Time moves so slowly,
and then a week has gone by.
282
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:55,585
And I think
it's got everyone messed up.
283
00:16:55,726 --> 00:16:56,902
The waiting.
284
00:16:57,374 --> 00:16:58,819
The not knowing.
285
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,436
Or the knowing.
286
00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:14,707
Something tells me
you boys aren't here to party.
287
00:17:14,808 --> 00:17:16,341
- Oh...
- OK.
288
00:17:16,517 --> 00:17:20,218
Whoa! Hey, that's a single barrel
small batch Corlett.
289
00:17:20,303 --> 00:17:21,358
What the fuck?
Fuckin' bourbon, guys.
290
00:17:21,442 --> 00:17:22,864
You can't even
tell the difference!
291
00:17:23,371 --> 00:17:25,257
There are two more
in the car, black.
292
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,880
You're gonna get those in you,
and go see Justin.
293
00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:29,911
All right, look,
294
00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:31,624
Mothers Teresa.
295
00:17:32,488 --> 00:17:35,755
Learn to know a lost cause
when you see one, like me.
296
00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:37,693
Like Justin.
297
00:17:39,489 --> 00:17:41,404
OK, Zach.
298
00:17:42,774 --> 00:17:45,326
Do you remember on the rooftop?
The night I kissed you?
299
00:17:45,427 --> 00:17:46,624
Wait, you kissed him?
300
00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,491
It was a shit show.
I'll explain later.
301
00:17:48,576 --> 00:17:50,713
- But you remember that night?
- Yeah.
302
00:17:50,899 --> 00:17:53,163
OK.
That kiss was embarrassing.
303
00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:55,717
It was a disaster.
But right before that,
304
00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:57,474
when I almost fell,
305
00:17:58,029 --> 00:17:59,768
you pulled me back
from the ledge.
306
00:18:00,084 --> 00:18:01,748
And I'll never
forget the feeling
307
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:03,105
of your hands grabbing me
308
00:18:03,221 --> 00:18:04,732
and keeping me safe.
309
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:07,404
I needed it.
I didn't know it.
310
00:18:08,533 --> 00:18:10,107
And now you need it.
311
00:18:12,731 --> 00:18:15,513
The kiss wasn't a disaster,
it was a nice kiss, per se.
312
00:18:15,609 --> 00:18:17,701
- Wait, it was?
- Yeah. Yeah.
313
00:18:17,786 --> 00:18:21,083
I don't love Justin,
but I love you, and you love him.
314
00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:23,038
So what the fuck, Zach?
315
00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:27,482
♪ If I showed up ♪
316
00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:32,365
♪ In the shape of a storm ♪
317
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:40,912
♪ Would you recognize me? ♪
318
00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:48,880
♪ If I knew how
I would make myself known... ♪
319
00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:58,396
I guess it's like high school,
in its way.
320
00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,045
It seems like I was a freshman
a decade ago.
321
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:04,400
But then
it seems like yesterday.
322
00:19:10,118 --> 00:19:11,982
I don't know
where all that time went.
323
00:19:13,406 --> 00:19:15,224
I don't know
what we do now.
324
00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:20,696
Here he is now.
325
00:19:20,781 --> 00:19:22,033
Who are you talking to?
326
00:19:22,313 --> 00:19:23,705
It's, uh...
327
00:19:23,984 --> 00:19:25,377
It's your dad.
328
00:19:29,476 --> 00:19:31,031
Antonio!
329
00:19:33,181 --> 00:19:34,596
How's your friend?
330
00:19:35,772 --> 00:19:37,407
He's not good, papá.
331
00:19:38,099 --> 00:19:40,252
You good to be there for him.
332
00:19:41,486 --> 00:19:43,072
You're a good friend.
333
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,721
That's always important, m'hijo.
334
00:19:47,622 --> 00:19:49,658
I guess... I guess so, yeah.
335
00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:52,580
But you have to think
about yourself sometimes.
336
00:19:53,168 --> 00:19:55,503
Caleb told me
about the college offer.
337
00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:57,670
He did?
338
00:19:58,358 --> 00:19:59,653
Damn proud of you.
339
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:03,065
It's time, m'hijo.
340
00:20:03,831 --> 00:20:05,650
It's time you sell the shop
341
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,588
and get on with your life.
342
00:20:08,788 --> 00:20:10,713
We can't afford that,
papá.
343
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:12,979
We have work here.
344
00:20:13,321 --> 00:20:14,666
We're gonna be fine.
345
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,994
The shop is your dream.
346
00:20:18,079 --> 00:20:19,464
Listen to me.
347
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:21,111
That shop...
348
00:20:21,818 --> 00:20:23,502
was never my dream.
349
00:20:25,882 --> 00:20:27,002
You...
350
00:20:28,609 --> 00:20:30,869
You are my dream.
351
00:20:31,949 --> 00:20:33,584
Why do we do
everything?
352
00:20:33,903 --> 00:20:36,588
So that you can have a better life
than we did.
353
00:20:36,898 --> 00:20:38,903
This is your better life,
m'hijo.
354
00:20:39,495 --> 00:20:41,393
Don't fuck up
my dream.
355
00:20:45,082 --> 00:20:47,719
Ancient history is
somehow present tense.
356
00:20:47,928 --> 00:20:50,643
Everything is ending,
but nothing is over.
357
00:20:51,365 --> 00:20:52,744
And none of us knows
how to make
358
00:20:52,829 --> 00:20:54,986
sense of the jumble of things
that happened.
359
00:20:59,785 --> 00:21:01,088
I win.
360
00:21:03,632 --> 00:21:05,697
Come on,
why the silent treatment?
361
00:21:05,802 --> 00:21:08,283
I'm just here
to pay my respects to Justy.
362
00:21:08,406 --> 00:21:09,871
You killed him.
363
00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:14,330
Yeah, I did.
364
00:21:16,751 --> 00:21:19,690
I don't rape Hannah,
none of us are here, right?
365
00:21:20,298 --> 00:21:22,041
He doesn't run away.
366
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,580
Doesn't start
shooting up.
367
00:21:25,803 --> 00:21:27,257
Letting men fuck him.
368
00:21:27,357 --> 00:21:29,822
How can one person
cause so much pain?
369
00:21:29,907 --> 00:21:31,221
Look in the mirror.
370
00:21:31,311 --> 00:21:33,896
- You let me die.
- You deserved to die.
371
00:21:34,257 --> 00:21:35,588
Yeah, maybe.
372
00:21:37,261 --> 00:21:38,924
But here we are.
373
00:21:41,129 --> 00:21:43,221
You probably
have it too.
374
00:21:44,599 --> 00:21:46,080
Fuck you.
375
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:48,471
Yeah.
376
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,666
- I win.
- Jess.
377
00:21:53,448 --> 00:21:55,588
Um... he's up.
378
00:21:56,311 --> 00:21:57,658
If you wanna say hey.
379
00:21:57,940 --> 00:22:01,119
He can't say anything back,
but he writes, so...
380
00:22:01,459 --> 00:22:03,432
- If... if you want to.
- Yeah.
381
00:22:22,454 --> 00:22:25,190
You start to wonder
if anything meant anything.
382
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,307
If all we're doing is reacting,
383
00:22:32,808 --> 00:22:35,572
and the reactions
don't even make any difference.
384
00:22:39,698 --> 00:22:41,190
I got into Brown.
385
00:22:41,442 --> 00:22:43,041
That crazy interview?
386
00:22:43,382 --> 00:22:44,677
Didn't even matter.
387
00:22:45,052 --> 00:22:48,775
So if nothing fucking matters,
like, why bother?
388
00:22:52,966 --> 00:22:54,635
How's Justin doing?
389
00:22:57,553 --> 00:22:59,174
He's not any better.
390
00:22:59,807 --> 00:23:01,119
I'm so sorry.
391
00:23:03,195 --> 00:23:06,979
I've lost, in my life,
a number of friends...
392
00:23:07,203 --> 00:23:10,002
and one very good friend
to that disease.
393
00:23:11,094 --> 00:23:12,494
I'm very sorry.
394
00:23:14,459 --> 00:23:15,627
Thank you.
395
00:23:16,588 --> 00:23:19,760
I'm sure you're not thinking about
graduation right now, but...
396
00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:23,721
It's my duty to tell you
that you have been voted class speaker.
397
00:23:28,933 --> 00:23:30,072
What?
398
00:23:33,608 --> 00:23:34,713
Me? Uh...
399
00:23:35,470 --> 00:23:36,588
How?
400
00:23:37,013 --> 00:23:38,682
Apparently,
your classmates think
401
00:23:38,767 --> 00:23:40,518
you have something relevant
to say to them.
402
00:23:41,538 --> 00:23:45,020
I imagine it might have something to do
with your sermon on the car
403
00:23:45,105 --> 00:23:46,855
at the disturbance
a few weeks ago.
404
00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:48,405
That's, uh...
405
00:23:49,619 --> 00:23:50,936
That wasn't really me.
406
00:23:51,066 --> 00:23:52,511
Then reach out
to whoever it was
407
00:23:52,596 --> 00:23:54,549
'cause he's needed
on stage June 22nd.
408
00:23:54,674 --> 00:23:56,348
I need to review his speech
in advance,
409
00:23:56,433 --> 00:23:58,619
just to ensure it
doesn't start any riots,
410
00:23:58,817 --> 00:24:00,134
that sorta thing.
411
00:24:00,799 --> 00:24:02,603
Congratulations, Clay.
412
00:24:10,204 --> 00:24:12,399
It doesn't make any sense.
I have nothing to say.
413
00:24:14,070 --> 00:24:16,245
Well, your classmates
disagree.
414
00:24:17,353 --> 00:24:18,986
And as someone
who's been talking to you
415
00:24:19,071 --> 00:24:20,073
for many weeks now,
416
00:24:20,158 --> 00:24:22,877
I think you have a great deal
to say.
417
00:24:23,950 --> 00:24:25,338
Who's the signature?
418
00:24:25,471 --> 00:24:27,536
Ah, you probably
haven't heard of him.
419
00:24:27,982 --> 00:24:29,377
Lindsey Buckingham.
420
00:24:30,608 --> 00:24:31,783
Fleetwood Mac.
421
00:24:31,919 --> 00:24:33,752
Although I prefer
his solo stuff.
422
00:24:34,711 --> 00:24:35,908
I do too.
423
00:24:36,913 --> 00:24:38,314
You think I'm stalling?
424
00:24:38,408 --> 00:24:39,838
Are you stalling?
425
00:24:40,493 --> 00:24:42,463
What kind of bullshit speech
can I give?
426
00:24:42,579 --> 00:24:45,994
I can't...
I can't get up there and say, like,
427
00:24:46,291 --> 00:24:48,541
"Hope for the future!
And the best days are ahead!"
428
00:24:48,626 --> 00:24:49,841
I mean, Jesus!
429
00:24:50,253 --> 00:24:53,080
Justin is lying there
in that hospital.
430
00:24:53,165 --> 00:24:55,173
He's never coming out,
he's dying,
431
00:24:55,265 --> 00:24:58,560
and I'm supposed to give some speech
about the future?
432
00:24:58,985 --> 00:25:00,720
There is no future!
433
00:25:01,206 --> 00:25:03,314
It's hard to think
about your own future
434
00:25:03,399 --> 00:25:05,589
when Justin's future
is so uncertain.
435
00:25:06,409 --> 00:25:09,635
Oh, my God, if you continue on
with that fucking calm tone,
436
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:10,979
I'm gonna lose it.
I'm gonna...
437
00:25:11,064 --> 00:25:12,891
I'm gonna
fucking lose it!
438
00:25:13,268 --> 00:25:14,509
OK.
439
00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:16,947
Now you're just
messing with me.
440
00:25:17,545 --> 00:25:19,181
No, Clay.
I'm not.
441
00:25:19,358 --> 00:25:21,955
Honest, I'm just
saying that...
442
00:25:23,346 --> 00:25:24,791
it's OK...
443
00:25:25,206 --> 00:25:27,345
in here... with me...
444
00:25:28,249 --> 00:25:30,174
if you lose it
a little bit.
445
00:25:49,724 --> 00:25:51,269
Look, to give a speech,
446
00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:53,635
about anything,
447
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,677
you have to make
some kind of sense.
448
00:25:57,773 --> 00:25:59,338
And nothing makes sense.
449
00:26:01,748 --> 00:26:03,861
And all the pieces are just...
450
00:26:04,963 --> 00:26:06,713
...scattered all over the floor.
451
00:26:07,267 --> 00:26:09,272
I ran to Monet's.
I just...
452
00:26:09,549 --> 00:26:10,846
Hospital coffee.
453
00:26:10,931 --> 00:26:12,218
I couldn't anymore.
454
00:26:12,303 --> 00:26:13,556
Good call.
455
00:26:21,635 --> 00:26:23,470
I keep thinking
this'll get easier,
456
00:26:23,555 --> 00:26:25,259
and it just gets harder.
457
00:26:26,216 --> 00:26:27,551
Every day of this.
458
00:26:28,106 --> 00:26:31,650
Well, you don't want it
to start to feel normal, do you?
459
00:26:32,483 --> 00:26:33,861
No.
460
00:26:35,779 --> 00:26:38,681
I remember my grandfather dying
when I was 14.
461
00:26:40,386 --> 00:26:42,101
My first experience of it.
462
00:26:43,897 --> 00:26:45,213
And you...
463
00:26:46,207 --> 00:26:48,892
You've looked at death too many times
for a young person.
464
00:26:49,045 --> 00:26:50,384
Your generation, it's...
465
00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:52,580
it's not right.
466
00:26:55,357 --> 00:26:57,549
I'm sorry if I scared you
the other night.
467
00:26:59,747 --> 00:27:01,908
I won't scare you
ever again.
468
00:27:02,486 --> 00:27:03,911
Clay...
469
00:27:04,512 --> 00:27:07,393
...since the day your mom gave birth,
and the doctor put you in my arms,
470
00:27:07,478 --> 00:27:08,723
I've been terrified.
471
00:27:12,869 --> 00:27:14,334
But we'll get through it.
472
00:27:15,023 --> 00:27:16,908
I keep telling myself that.
473
00:27:17,449 --> 00:27:19,674
You know,
high school,
474
00:27:19,873 --> 00:27:21,369
it's different today.
475
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,605
But in many ways, not.
476
00:27:24,378 --> 00:27:27,166
High school has always been something
to be survived.
477
00:27:28,053 --> 00:27:29,348
But it can be.
478
00:27:30,277 --> 00:27:31,822
I'm living proof.
479
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:36,377
Yeah.
480
00:27:36,966 --> 00:27:38,924
And there's joy too,
right?
481
00:27:39,144 --> 00:27:40,970
I hope
you've known joy.
482
00:27:45,303 --> 00:27:46,845
Yeah, I have, Dad.
483
00:27:56,345 --> 00:27:57,850
It's not just me.
484
00:27:59,356 --> 00:28:00,781
It's everyone I know.
485
00:28:03,881 --> 00:28:04,961
Hey!
486
00:28:05,198 --> 00:28:06,197
Welcome back.
487
00:28:06,282 --> 00:28:08,751
I'm here to do my service hours.
They said you asked for me?
488
00:28:08,836 --> 00:28:10,666
I did. I did. Uh...
489
00:28:10,995 --> 00:28:12,845
You can help me clean out
the equipment room
490
00:28:12,930 --> 00:28:14,994
and, uh,
update the playbooks.
491
00:28:16,239 --> 00:28:17,963
And I wanna offer you
a job.
492
00:28:18,419 --> 00:28:21,127
I heard you're sticking around town
next year,
493
00:28:21,971 --> 00:28:24,236
and I want you
to coach tight ends.
494
00:28:25,324 --> 00:28:26,463
Me?
495
00:28:27,702 --> 00:28:29,681
- A coach?
- Yeah, for sure.
496
00:28:30,129 --> 00:28:31,595
You know the game.
497
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,715
You know
how to set an example.
498
00:28:33,954 --> 00:28:35,619
I... I don't know about
that.
499
00:28:35,812 --> 00:28:38,613
Eh. I do.
Summer coaches' meetings start
500
00:28:38,698 --> 00:28:40,064
day after graduation.
501
00:28:40,149 --> 00:28:41,916
I'ma need you sober,
OK?
502
00:28:42,909 --> 00:28:44,544
Yeah, I mean...
503
00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:46,939
for sure.
504
00:28:47,031 --> 00:28:48,746
And I'll need you
to graduate.
505
00:28:49,450 --> 00:28:50,845
Can you do that?
506
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:54,939
Yeah.
Yeah, I can do that.
507
00:28:55,529 --> 00:28:57,744
Figured out that it takes effort
not to graduate.
508
00:28:57,846 --> 00:28:59,041
Yeah.
509
00:28:59,669 --> 00:29:02,564
All right, uh,
let's get to work.
510
00:29:03,774 --> 00:29:06,283
Thank you...
for the letter.
511
00:29:09,512 --> 00:29:12,106
I found it in my file
in Foundry's office.
512
00:29:12,306 --> 00:29:13,541
I just, um...
513
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,266
"Let me tell you
about the Zach Dempsey I know.
514
00:29:18,380 --> 00:29:21,345
One of the finest young men
I've had the opportunity to coach.
515
00:29:22,434 --> 00:29:24,239
Zach led our team...
516
00:29:24,990 --> 00:29:27,681
with fortitude and empathy
on and off the field."
517
00:29:28,068 --> 00:29:29,275
Yeah.
518
00:29:29,610 --> 00:29:32,205
You know, Foundry asked me
why you'd steal that.
519
00:29:32,457 --> 00:29:33,744
Told him
I didn't know why.
520
00:29:33,845 --> 00:29:36,320
Because I can't live
up to this.
521
00:29:37,173 --> 00:29:39,470
- Everything that you've said.
- Of course you can.
522
00:29:39,766 --> 00:29:41,345
You already have.
523
00:29:58,644 --> 00:30:00,780
I don't know anyone
who can turn what's happened
524
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:02,580
into a neat little story.
525
00:30:06,095 --> 00:30:08,752
The brain infection
is advancing quickly.
526
00:30:09,679 --> 00:30:13,908
And I'm afraid it might be a good time
to take Justin off the ventilator,
527
00:30:13,996 --> 00:30:17,251
at least for a few hours,
so he can speak to you,
528
00:30:17,869 --> 00:30:19,134
and you to him.
529
00:30:22,579 --> 00:30:23,853
You... You mean...
530
00:30:26,034 --> 00:30:27,267
Yeah.
531
00:30:30,361 --> 00:30:32,572
As I understand it,
Mr. Jensen,
532
00:30:32,657 --> 00:30:35,658
uh, Justin has made you
the medical POA,
533
00:30:35,765 --> 00:30:39,819
and he signed a living will
with a DNR order.
534
00:30:40,019 --> 00:30:41,205
Yes.
535
00:30:42,105 --> 00:30:44,731
The palliative care doctor
visited Justin,
536
00:30:44,816 --> 00:30:48,299
and Justin participated in a discussion
about his priorities
537
00:30:48,397 --> 00:30:50,838
by writing down his wishes.
538
00:30:52,724 --> 00:30:54,572
He would like to be
539
00:30:54,778 --> 00:30:56,591
as comfortable as possible...
540
00:30:56,676 --> 00:31:01,918
♪ I have nothing left to hear ♪
541
00:31:04,478 --> 00:31:08,823
♪ I'm chasing all the words ♪
542
00:31:10,330 --> 00:31:16,832
♪ But everything you say
I only see ♪
543
00:31:18,956 --> 00:31:22,653
♪ But honestly it's fine ♪
544
00:31:24,689 --> 00:31:32,106
♪ When I mention how I love you... ♪
545
00:31:35,649 --> 00:31:36,981
Hi!
546
00:31:39,493 --> 00:31:41,118
Hey.
547
00:31:50,321 --> 00:31:51,614
Jess.
548
00:31:53,676 --> 00:31:54,918
Don't cry.
549
00:31:58,068 --> 00:32:00,129
I'm so sorry.
I'm so...
550
00:32:01,848 --> 00:32:03,943
I thought I could be strong.
I...
551
00:32:08,347 --> 00:32:09,856
Come here.
552
00:32:11,928 --> 00:32:13,231
Come here.
553
00:32:25,981 --> 00:32:27,465
You're...
554
00:32:27,843 --> 00:32:29,411
so strong.
555
00:32:34,476 --> 00:32:37,332
You're the best thing
that ever happened to me.
556
00:32:40,752 --> 00:32:42,153
You're...
557
00:32:42,676 --> 00:32:44,848
out of your mind.
558
00:32:48,145 --> 00:32:50,240
I ruined your fucking life.
559
00:32:52,292 --> 00:32:53,582
No.
560
00:32:53,942 --> 00:32:55,184
No.
561
00:32:57,318 --> 00:32:59,786
You taught me
what love is.
562
00:33:07,908 --> 00:33:09,700
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
563
00:33:11,128 --> 00:33:13,231
- Yeah?
- Yes.
564
00:33:20,674 --> 00:33:21,825
OK.
565
00:33:25,494 --> 00:33:27,543
You always have that.
566
00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:30,802
- OK?
- OK.
567
00:33:31,057 --> 00:33:33,137
- OK, Jess?
- OK.
568
00:33:45,237 --> 00:33:49,122
♪ At the end of the line ♪
569
00:33:50,855 --> 00:33:56,973
♪ It's as if there's no time at all ♪
570
00:33:59,241 --> 00:34:03,645
♪ Nothing left to win ♪
571
00:34:04,937 --> 00:34:11,059
♪ Every pleasure burned to the wick ♪
572
00:34:13,489 --> 00:34:17,442
♪ Content to be alone ♪
573
00:34:18,972 --> 00:34:22,442
♪ A quiet picture drawn ♪
574
00:34:22,822 --> 00:34:27,442
♪ Each day before it ends... ♪
575
00:34:40,290 --> 00:34:41,379
Um...
576
00:34:44,974 --> 00:34:47,939
Zach's going to coach at Liberty
next year.
577
00:34:48,269 --> 00:34:49,778
Kerba asked him.
578
00:34:52,305 --> 00:34:53,700
That's awesome.
579
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,418
I'm... I'm so sorry, Justin.
I don't know how to do this.
580
00:35:05,910 --> 00:35:07,129
Hey.
581
00:35:12,958 --> 00:35:14,364
You're doing...
582
00:35:14,692 --> 00:35:16,629
You're doing it great.
583
00:35:32,808 --> 00:35:35,472
Thank you
for saving my life.
584
00:35:37,727 --> 00:35:40,239
Like, more times
than you know.
585
00:35:47,271 --> 00:35:48,793
I love you.
586
00:35:56,173 --> 00:35:57,411
I love...
587
00:35:58,149 --> 00:36:00,090
I love...
588
00:36:00,435 --> 00:36:01,895
love you...
589
00:36:02,424 --> 00:36:04,200
you too, man.
590
00:36:12,343 --> 00:36:14,228
I'm sorry.
591
00:36:14,585 --> 00:36:16,010
Um...
592
00:36:23,325 --> 00:36:24,864
Are you afraid?
593
00:36:28,585 --> 00:36:29,840
Yeah.
594
00:36:34,039 --> 00:36:35,293
I am.
595
00:36:52,269 --> 00:36:53,536
Will you hold...
596
00:36:53,913 --> 00:36:55,468
Will you hold my hand...
597
00:36:55,926 --> 00:36:57,137
bro?
598
00:36:58,954 --> 00:37:00,231
Yeah.
599
00:37:03,612 --> 00:37:07,377
♪ River, river, carry me on ♪
600
00:37:07,626 --> 00:37:11,270
♪ Living river, carry me on ♪
601
00:37:11,533 --> 00:37:15,028
♪ River, river, carry me on ♪
602
00:37:15,414 --> 00:37:18,926
♪ To the place where I come from ♪
603
00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:22,215
♪ So deep ♪
604
00:37:22,356 --> 00:37:24,903
♪ So wide ♪
605
00:37:26,125 --> 00:37:29,880
♪ Will you take me on your back ♪
606
00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:32,801
♪ For a ride? ♪
607
00:37:34,896 --> 00:37:39,934
♪ If I should fall ♪
608
00:37:41,857 --> 00:37:47,825
♪ Would you swallow me deep inside? ♪
609
00:37:50,616 --> 00:37:55,861
♪ River, show me how to float ♪
610
00:37:58,249 --> 00:38:03,768
♪ I feel like I'm sinking down ♪
611
00:38:06,087 --> 00:38:13,252
♪ Thought that I could get along ♪
612
00:38:13,901 --> 00:38:17,549
♪ But here in this water ♪
613
00:38:17,768 --> 00:38:21,233
♪ My feet won't touch the ground ♪
614
00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:25,166
♪ I need something ♪
615
00:38:25,734 --> 00:38:29,057
♪ To turn myself around... ♪
616
00:38:38,903 --> 00:38:45,767
♪ ...away toward the sea ♪
617
00:38:47,270 --> 00:38:52,365
♪ River deep ♪
618
00:38:54,041 --> 00:38:58,651
♪ Can you lift up and carry me? ♪
619
00:39:03,907 --> 00:39:08,082
♪ Oh roll on through the heartland ♪
620
00:39:09,695 --> 00:39:16,880
♪ Till the sun has left the sky ♪
621
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:21,510
♪ River, oh, river ♪
622
00:39:22,257 --> 00:39:24,908
♪ River running deep ♪
623
00:39:26,099 --> 00:39:28,869
♪ Bring me something ♪
624
00:39:29,790 --> 00:39:32,432
♪ That will let me get to sleep ♪
625
00:39:33,852 --> 00:39:37,033
♪ In the washing of the water ♪
626
00:39:37,681 --> 00:39:40,979
♪ Will you take it all away? ♪
627
00:39:42,224 --> 00:39:45,609
♪ Bring me something ♪
628
00:39:46,398 --> 00:39:51,033
♪ To take this pain away ♪
629
00:39:56,707 --> 00:39:58,132
After all that,
630
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,862
after... everything,
631
00:40:01,671 --> 00:40:03,096
this is how it ends.
632
00:40:22,628 --> 00:40:24,050
My mom asked me
if I wanted
633
00:40:24,135 --> 00:40:26,187
to say something
at Justin's funeral.
634
00:40:26,923 --> 00:40:30,718
I wanted to, for him,
but I couldn't.
635
00:40:31,222 --> 00:40:32,634
What could I say?
636
00:40:32,890 --> 00:40:34,235
Running theme, huh?
637
00:41:00,198 --> 00:41:02,753
I wish there was something
I could say or do.
638
00:41:06,170 --> 00:41:07,448
Yeah.
639
00:41:07,771 --> 00:41:09,237
What is there?
640
00:41:10,737 --> 00:41:12,752
Thank you for wanting to,
though.
641
00:41:14,934 --> 00:41:16,778
You always make things better.
642
00:41:18,281 --> 00:41:20,682
I just show up, man.
That's all I do.
643
00:41:21,365 --> 00:41:22,659
Always.
644
00:41:24,785 --> 00:41:26,420
More than I have
for you.
645
00:41:28,242 --> 00:41:29,440
No.
646
00:41:30,673 --> 00:41:32,792
No, we show up
for each other.
647
00:41:41,511 --> 00:41:43,816
No one gets through
this life alone, man.
648
00:41:46,685 --> 00:41:47,815
No.
649
00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:11,635
What's he doing here?
650
00:42:11,753 --> 00:42:13,050
I don't know.
651
00:42:14,403 --> 00:42:16,612
I hope he's showing
his respects.
652
00:42:19,917 --> 00:42:21,214
I don't know
if I can do this.
653
00:42:21,299 --> 00:42:23,784
OK, we'll just take it slow.
We don't have to sit up front.
654
00:42:23,869 --> 00:42:24,869
No.
655
00:42:25,956 --> 00:42:27,211
No, I don't...
656
00:42:28,656 --> 00:42:32,159
I don't know
if I can do any of this anymore.
657
00:42:32,878 --> 00:42:34,542
We're all supposed to just...
658
00:42:35,408 --> 00:42:38,551
keep waking up
and putting on our clothes
659
00:42:38,636 --> 00:42:42,289
and carrying on conversations
and listening to people
660
00:42:42,374 --> 00:42:44,815
while they talk about
how God works in mysterious ways,
661
00:42:44,910 --> 00:42:48,120
and I just don't fucking know
if I can do it anymore!
662
00:42:48,205 --> 00:42:51,260
OK, I think
this is the hardest thing...
663
00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:54,245
...that anyone c
ould ever go through.
664
00:42:55,044 --> 00:42:57,284
But I also think
you are a lot stronger
665
00:42:57,369 --> 00:42:58,604
than you realize.
666
00:42:58,773 --> 00:43:00,432
- He made me strong.
- No!
667
00:43:00,652 --> 00:43:01,902
You are.
668
00:43:02,761 --> 00:43:04,331
All on your own.
669
00:43:04,691 --> 00:43:06,222
Maybe you made
each other stronger,
670
00:43:06,307 --> 00:43:07,761
but it's in you.
671
00:43:07,943 --> 00:43:09,238
I've seen it.
672
00:43:13,146 --> 00:43:14,409
OK.
673
00:43:18,962 --> 00:43:20,596
How did we get
here?
674
00:43:20,737 --> 00:43:21,940
Again?
675
00:43:22,838 --> 00:43:24,593
We made a cruel world.
676
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:28,378
My generation,
my parents' generation.
677
00:43:29,903 --> 00:43:31,458
Too little caring.
678
00:43:32,012 --> 00:43:33,647
Too much hate,
679
00:43:33,815 --> 00:43:35,440
anger, and hurt.
680
00:43:36,821 --> 00:43:39,796
We talk a good game
about protecting our children,
681
00:43:39,881 --> 00:43:41,542
but we leave too much
on the table
682
00:43:41,627 --> 00:43:44,089
that might surely
save their lives.
683
00:43:45,081 --> 00:43:47,792
Justin Foley died
of a disease
684
00:43:48,089 --> 00:43:50,440
that, from its inception,
685
00:43:50,571 --> 00:43:52,948
thrives in silence.
686
00:43:53,699 --> 00:43:56,355
And there are a number
of such diseases,
687
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,792
a number of ills
688
00:43:57,877 --> 00:44:02,065
that thrive when we
are silent about them.
689
00:44:02,589 --> 00:44:05,684
Because we let our fears,
our shame,
690
00:44:06,001 --> 00:44:10,315
our twisted moral codes
keep us in silence,
691
00:44:10,487 --> 00:44:13,455
as death
stalks more children.
692
00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:15,737
I say, enough.
693
00:44:18,189 --> 00:44:20,034
Enough shifting blame.
694
00:44:20,409 --> 00:44:22,204
Enough pointing fingers.
695
00:44:22,606 --> 00:44:26,237
Enough confusing those
who report the damage
696
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,589
with those
who cause it.
697
00:44:29,684 --> 00:44:32,904
Let us remember Justin
for his accomplishments
698
00:44:33,026 --> 00:44:35,909
on the football field
and the basketball court.
699
00:44:36,717 --> 00:44:39,136
Let us remember his smile
700
00:44:39,574 --> 00:44:43,112
that I am told
melted a hundred hearts.
701
00:44:43,919 --> 00:44:46,674
But let's also remember
his death
702
00:44:47,219 --> 00:44:49,774
with sorrow
and determination
703
00:44:50,207 --> 00:44:51,862
that spur us...
704
00:44:52,321 --> 00:44:53,729
to action.
705
00:44:56,012 --> 00:44:57,245
Amen.
706
00:45:04,758 --> 00:45:05,888
Um...
707
00:45:07,229 --> 00:45:08,349
I...
708
00:45:10,013 --> 00:45:12,398
I'm not sure I can do this.
Uh...
709
00:45:15,394 --> 00:45:16,518
Um...
710
00:45:17,718 --> 00:45:18,718
Uh...
711
00:45:19,243 --> 00:45:20,503
I believe...
712
00:45:20,753 --> 00:45:22,058
I believe...
713
00:45:23,897 --> 00:45:27,782
I believe
Justin Foley helped save my life.
714
00:45:29,353 --> 00:45:30,768
I didn't like him.
715
00:45:32,072 --> 00:45:33,697
And he didn't like me.
716
00:45:34,066 --> 00:45:35,276
But...
717
00:45:36,037 --> 00:45:37,882
when I needed him,
718
00:45:39,532 --> 00:45:40,862
he helped me.
719
00:45:43,648 --> 00:45:44,648
Um...
720
00:45:45,019 --> 00:45:46,722
Sorry, I'm...
721
00:45:48,478 --> 00:45:49,693
Go. Go get him.
722
00:45:53,982 --> 00:45:55,659
Alex tried to say something...
723
00:45:55,851 --> 00:45:57,432
- You all right?
- Yeah.
724
00:45:57,532 --> 00:45:58,784
OK, let's go sit down.
725
00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:00,509
...as much as he could.
726
00:46:03,493 --> 00:46:06,168
But there's so much
none of us could ever say.
727
00:46:09,304 --> 00:46:10,939
Last time I was up here,
728
00:46:12,451 --> 00:46:14,276
I said I was
my brother's keeper.
729
00:46:15,221 --> 00:46:16,597
That we all are.
730
00:46:18,204 --> 00:46:20,151
Even though
I didn't live up to that.
731
00:46:25,366 --> 00:46:26,881
Justin hated running.
732
00:46:29,571 --> 00:46:32,457
Coach Kerba would make him do a mile,
and he would bitch
733
00:46:32,542 --> 00:46:33,885
and complain...
734
00:46:34,014 --> 00:46:35,347
...the whole time.
735
00:46:36,331 --> 00:46:38,518
Coach Kerba would tell him that
736
00:46:38,744 --> 00:46:42,550
pain... is the feeling of weakness
leaving the body.
737
00:46:45,944 --> 00:46:48,449
But we're all weak,
I think.
738
00:46:50,313 --> 00:46:52,158
But we're trying
to be stronger.
739
00:46:52,975 --> 00:46:55,862
And the pain
that we are feeling today...
740
00:46:57,313 --> 00:46:59,448
is to remind us
every day...
741
00:47:02,307 --> 00:47:03,636
to do better.
742
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:06,432
To be better.
743
00:47:11,927 --> 00:47:15,897
- A few of us are going to Monet's.
- I'm gonna head home, I think.
744
00:47:16,097 --> 00:47:17,522
I'm with my folks.
745
00:47:49,779 --> 00:47:52,544
After the funeral,
I couldn't move.
746
00:47:53,494 --> 00:47:54,879
Couldn't even stand.
747
00:47:55,224 --> 00:47:56,513
Stuck.
748
00:47:58,090 --> 00:47:59,685
This is my life now.
749
00:49:04,649 --> 00:49:06,368
Um... Can I...
750
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:08,725
I just wanted to say...
751
00:49:10,086 --> 00:49:12,221
I think you saved
my life too.
752
00:49:13,024 --> 00:49:14,439
More than anyone.
753
00:49:15,211 --> 00:49:16,546
So, thank you.
754
00:49:17,306 --> 00:49:19,641
And I was mean
to you when you got back.
755
00:49:19,782 --> 00:49:22,352
I didn't even think about everything
you were going through.
756
00:49:23,052 --> 00:49:24,836
But anyway, I'm...
757
00:49:25,310 --> 00:49:26,618
I'm sorry.
758
00:49:26,853 --> 00:49:28,110
And thank you.
759
00:49:31,670 --> 00:49:32,852
Alex.
760
00:49:35,108 --> 00:49:36,323
I'm just...
761
00:49:37,066 --> 00:49:39,571
I'm just really happy
to be alive right now.
762
00:49:44,112 --> 00:49:45,327
Yeah.
763
00:49:46,121 --> 00:49:47,336
Me too.
764
00:50:03,197 --> 00:50:04,446
Can we...
765
00:50:06,374 --> 00:50:07,790
Can we talk?
766
00:50:09,051 --> 00:50:10,250
Yeah.
767
00:50:12,669 --> 00:50:15,063
And what if the past
follows us everywhere?
768
00:50:18,066 --> 00:50:20,031
What if we can never get away from it?
769
00:50:38,508 --> 00:50:39,843
Can I ask you,
770
00:50:41,109 --> 00:50:42,469
why'd you do it?
771
00:50:47,094 --> 00:50:48,774
Yeah. OK.
772
00:50:51,187 --> 00:50:54,991
Zach had hurt him pretty bad,
he'd broken his leg, his arm.
773
00:50:55,290 --> 00:50:58,165
He begged me to help him up,
so I did.
774
00:50:58,984 --> 00:51:00,247
And then
he started on
775
00:51:00,332 --> 00:51:02,743
about how he was
gonna ruin Zach's life,
776
00:51:03,003 --> 00:51:04,696
which he already
had done.
777
00:51:05,827 --> 00:51:08,262
And he was just
spewing all this shit.
778
00:51:08,475 --> 00:51:10,290
And I saw this...
779
00:51:10,932 --> 00:51:12,454
anger.
780
00:51:14,643 --> 00:51:17,212
I didn't see
any soul or anything.
781
00:51:17,297 --> 00:51:18,522
I just didn't.
782
00:51:18,975 --> 00:51:20,625
And then
I realized
783
00:51:20,710 --> 00:51:24,852
that he had ruined
everyone I ever loved.
784
00:51:26,300 --> 00:51:27,774
And I got this...
785
00:51:30,043 --> 00:51:32,860
this flash of rage.
786
00:51:33,844 --> 00:51:35,282
Ever since my TBI,
787
00:51:35,367 --> 00:51:38,538
I get these flares, like,
I go red.
788
00:51:39,548 --> 00:51:41,803
And then I pushed him
off the dock.
789
00:51:53,054 --> 00:51:54,702
Are you sorry
you did it?
790
00:51:56,977 --> 00:51:59,156
More than
I can ever say.
791
00:52:01,739 --> 00:52:03,577
Was Jessica with you?
792
00:52:20,484 --> 00:52:22,163
Did you ever really like me?
793
00:52:25,054 --> 00:52:27,179
Yeah.
Yes.
794
00:52:29,178 --> 00:52:31,890
You opened up
a new world for me.
795
00:52:32,781 --> 00:52:35,625
You helped me figure out
stuff about myself.
796
00:52:35,710 --> 00:52:37,340
I loved being with you.
797
00:52:42,116 --> 00:52:43,632
Yeah, me too.
798
00:53:00,030 --> 00:53:01,655
I'm not gonna
do anything.
799
00:53:05,191 --> 00:53:06,696
I thought I was...
800
00:53:08,498 --> 00:53:09,796
because...
801
00:53:11,642 --> 00:53:13,452
...because I loved Monty.
802
00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:16,239
I knew him somehow.
803
00:53:16,413 --> 00:53:17,718
I swear I did.
804
00:53:22,511 --> 00:53:24,202
But I loved you too.
805
00:53:26,594 --> 00:53:28,399
And I am trying not to...
806
00:53:29,471 --> 00:53:31,186
but I still fucking do.
807
00:53:35,599 --> 00:53:36,734
OK.
808
00:53:38,127 --> 00:53:39,460
Thank you.
809
00:53:41,662 --> 00:53:43,047
Can I hug you?
810
00:54:23,667 --> 00:54:24,941
All right.
811
00:54:25,026 --> 00:54:27,167
It's done. The sales
papers are drawn up.
812
00:54:27,292 --> 00:54:29,039
All it needs is a
buyer's signature.
813
00:54:29,178 --> 00:54:31,193
Tony, that's great.
814
00:54:31,736 --> 00:54:33,074
- Right?
- I don't know!
815
00:54:33,159 --> 00:54:35,336
I... I... I don't know if it's great!
816
00:54:35,536 --> 00:54:36,963
I don't know
what to think!
817
00:54:37,048 --> 00:54:38,106
Fuck!
818
00:54:38,191 --> 00:54:41,040
Second thoughts are natural,
but this is a solid plan, Tony.
819
00:54:41,125 --> 00:54:42,183
This is safe.
820
00:54:42,293 --> 00:54:45,651
No plan in this fucking world
is safe, Caleb.
821
00:54:45,753 --> 00:54:47,755
Safe is not a word
I believe in anymore.
822
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,185
OK. OK.
But the garage is protected.
823
00:54:50,276 --> 00:54:52,991
This gives you a chance to...
to have a life.
824
00:54:53,525 --> 00:54:54,785
What if I like this life?
825
00:54:55,017 --> 00:54:56,928
What if I like this right now?
826
00:54:57,013 --> 00:54:58,521
The garage is protected.
827
00:54:58,685 --> 00:55:01,053
I mean, the buyer doesn't know shit
about fixing cars,
828
00:55:01,145 --> 00:55:03,093
but Javi's ready
to manage the place.
829
00:55:03,186 --> 00:55:05,405
- He does already.
- What if one of the businesses
830
00:55:05,490 --> 00:55:06,764
takes a dive?
831
00:55:07,002 --> 00:55:09,060
What if it's too much
for one person to handle?
832
00:55:09,145 --> 00:55:11,952
Tony, I've lived with you
for more than a year.
833
00:55:12,037 --> 00:55:13,993
Nothing's too much for me
to handle.
834
00:55:14,596 --> 00:55:15,842
Here.
835
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:20,725
Javi and I...
836
00:55:22,411 --> 00:55:24,123
...will take good care.
837
00:55:24,544 --> 00:55:26,805
What if I'm not good enough
to stay on the team?
838
00:55:26,973 --> 00:55:29,624
What if I flunk out?
I'm no good at school!
839
00:55:29,709 --> 00:55:31,425
I think, you're good at anything
you wanna be good at.
840
00:55:31,509 --> 00:55:33,311
Oh, my God.
This is so easy for you.
841
00:55:33,396 --> 00:55:36,129
- Why is this so fucking easy for you?
- It's not easy!
842
00:55:36,214 --> 00:55:37,809
This is fucking killing me.
843
00:55:38,179 --> 00:55:41,248
But this gives you a chance
to live a whole life.
844
00:55:43,299 --> 00:55:45,054
What if I can't do it?
845
00:55:48,148 --> 00:55:50,482
I don't know.
What if I'm lonely?
846
00:55:50,671 --> 00:55:52,936
Well, I'm eight hours away
by car.
847
00:55:53,568 --> 00:55:55,857
Seven the way that you drive.
848
00:55:58,077 --> 00:55:59,467
Here.
849
00:56:03,166 --> 00:56:04,959
Oh, fuck.
850
00:56:09,088 --> 00:56:10,553
I'm scared.
851
00:56:11,246 --> 00:56:12,443
I know.
852
00:56:13,971 --> 00:56:15,306
And that's OK.
853
00:56:18,001 --> 00:56:19,344
- OK.
- Yeah.
854
00:56:19,458 --> 00:56:20,618
Come here.
855
00:56:20,703 --> 00:56:22,021
It's OK.
856
00:56:26,014 --> 00:56:27,607
- It's OK, Tony.
- No.
857
00:56:27,692 --> 00:56:29,867
It's OK to be scared.
I'm scared too.
858
00:56:30,432 --> 00:56:32,985
What if what's ahead of us
is even more terrifying
859
00:56:33,169 --> 00:56:34,596
than what we've been through?
860
00:56:34,767 --> 00:56:35,975
OK.
861
00:56:44,901 --> 00:56:45,901
You good?
862
00:56:46,163 --> 00:56:50,048
Yeah. I'm good. I'm just finishing up
these patrol reports.
863
00:56:50,376 --> 00:56:51,725
I was thinkin'.
864
00:56:52,530 --> 00:56:56,178
I always say that this job
is everything to me.
865
00:56:57,084 --> 00:56:58,589
I don't come from much.
866
00:56:59,106 --> 00:57:00,443
I know you don't either.
867
00:57:00,665 --> 00:57:03,116
No, sir. My two boys
are the first
868
00:57:03,201 --> 00:57:04,920
in my family
to go to college.
869
00:57:05,177 --> 00:57:06,642
Same with my kids.
870
00:57:07,388 --> 00:57:09,982
And I say this job is everything,
but it's not true.
871
00:57:10,899 --> 00:57:14,568
I live my life for family,
for God, for country.
872
00:57:14,830 --> 00:57:16,092
In that order.
873
00:57:16,459 --> 00:57:18,678
And a father's love is a, uh...
874
00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:21,675
fierce and
complicated thing.
875
00:57:21,994 --> 00:57:24,589
As I'm sure my daughter Valerie
would tell you.
876
00:57:25,484 --> 00:57:26,699
But family...
877
00:57:28,704 --> 00:57:30,318
Family comes first.
878
00:57:30,958 --> 00:57:32,248
Wouldn't you agree?
879
00:57:33,167 --> 00:57:34,357
I do.
880
00:57:35,466 --> 00:57:36,466
Hmm.
881
00:57:38,860 --> 00:57:40,990
The Bryce Walker files, um...
882
00:57:41,485 --> 00:57:43,615
they're going down
to permanent storage.
883
00:57:46,644 --> 00:57:48,739
That case is closed
for good.
884
00:57:54,785 --> 00:57:56,162
Understood.
885
00:58:00,762 --> 00:58:02,277
Don't work too late,
Bill.
886
00:58:05,217 --> 00:58:06,568
Hey, Sheriff.
887
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:10,592
Thank you.
888
00:58:24,072 --> 00:58:26,100
How do we get on
with our lives?
889
00:58:31,689 --> 00:58:32,826
Hey.
890
00:58:33,763 --> 00:58:35,443
You waited for me.
891
00:58:35,818 --> 00:58:37,365
Of course I waited for you.
892
00:58:39,350 --> 00:58:41,592
Um... Negative.
893
00:58:42,488 --> 00:58:43,662
Good.
894
00:58:43,901 --> 00:58:45,246
Yeah, me too.
895
00:58:46,287 --> 00:58:50,193
Um, thanks for telling me,
and coming with me.
896
00:58:50,583 --> 00:58:51,857
Of course.
897
00:58:52,214 --> 00:58:53,557
I wasn't worried.
898
00:58:53,742 --> 00:58:56,291
He'd never do it
without protection.
899
00:58:56,376 --> 00:58:58,363
He was pretty hardcore on that.
900
00:59:00,030 --> 00:59:02,482
They, uh...
they tell you about PrEP?
901
00:59:03,517 --> 00:59:05,201
That seems like a good thing.
902
00:59:05,305 --> 00:59:06,467
Yeah.
903
00:59:06,679 --> 00:59:09,904
Though I don't plan on
having sex again, ever, so...
904
00:59:12,247 --> 00:59:13,810
Look, I'm sorry...
905
00:59:14,950 --> 00:59:16,465
about Justin.
I...
906
00:59:17,766 --> 00:59:19,691
I know how much
you loved him.
907
00:59:21,554 --> 00:59:23,109
How would
you know that?
908
00:59:24,495 --> 00:59:25,495
I...
909
00:59:25,618 --> 00:59:27,498
I saw you dance together.
910
00:59:32,959 --> 00:59:34,068
And...
911
00:59:34,582 --> 00:59:35,917
a guy can tell...
912
00:59:36,623 --> 00:59:38,791
when a girl's heart is
spoken for.
913
00:59:52,979 --> 00:59:54,314
I'm sorry...
914
00:59:54,452 --> 00:59:55,452
for...
915
00:59:56,036 --> 00:59:58,908
everything I
put you through.
916
00:59:59,448 --> 01:00:01,333
I'm done with it.
I just...
917
01:00:03,452 --> 01:00:04,932
I couldn't let it
go.
918
01:00:06,891 --> 01:00:07,817
I...
919
01:00:07,955 --> 01:00:10,619
I miss Monty so much.
920
01:00:12,023 --> 01:00:13,182
But it...
921
01:00:13,686 --> 01:00:16,971
It can't be anything
like what you miss Justin.
922
01:00:19,554 --> 01:00:20,979
I don't know.
923
01:00:22,317 --> 01:00:23,792
Missing is missing.
924
01:00:30,908 --> 01:00:31,955
I...
925
01:00:32,492 --> 01:00:34,769
I know it's very much
too soon
926
01:00:34,854 --> 01:00:37,381
to be saying anything like this,
but...
927
01:00:38,041 --> 01:00:41,932
if you ever need someone
to miss people with,
928
01:00:42,525 --> 01:00:45,287
I would like to maybe
ask you out sometime.
929
01:00:45,773 --> 01:00:47,198
To go out with me.
930
01:00:48,151 --> 01:00:49,424
Again.
931
01:00:49,619 --> 01:00:52,111
But in a new way,
sometime.
932
01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:58,979
Maybe I can...
Can I start asking in about a month?
933
01:01:00,430 --> 01:01:01,765
Maybe in a month.
934
01:01:04,338 --> 01:01:06,854
How do we even imagine
starting something new?
935
01:01:09,378 --> 01:01:11,173
You'd think
I'd know these answers.
936
01:01:12,362 --> 01:01:14,603
You'd think I'd be good at goodbyes
by now.
937
01:02:04,340 --> 01:02:06,055
Mrs. Baker sent them.
938
01:02:07,447 --> 01:02:10,099
The court had returned them to her
after, like, months,
939
01:02:10,184 --> 01:02:12,861
and she thought
Tony and I should have them.
940
01:02:13,150 --> 01:02:14,760
That they were never hers.
941
01:02:15,101 --> 01:02:18,696
That they were something of Hannah
that we got, and she never would.
942
01:02:20,394 --> 01:02:23,609
- What do you think that was?
- I don't know.
943
01:02:24,395 --> 01:02:25,610
Think harder.
944
01:02:26,288 --> 01:02:27,642
I don't know.
945
01:02:28,397 --> 01:02:31,580
I think you do.
And I think you're being lazy.
946
01:02:32,737 --> 01:02:34,338
What the hell?
Screw you!
947
01:02:34,515 --> 01:02:35,820
There we go.
948
01:02:36,101 --> 01:02:38,597
I was worried
we'd have Mumbles McGee
949
01:02:38,682 --> 01:02:39,760
for the whole session.
950
01:02:39,978 --> 01:02:42,657
Wh-What the fuck is this?
Tough love?
951
01:02:42,742 --> 01:02:44,236
Some shit like that?
952
01:02:45,443 --> 01:02:48,158
Why did Hannah's mother
send you the tapes?
953
01:02:49,123 --> 01:02:52,156
Why do you and Tony feel
so responsible for Tyler?
954
01:02:52,241 --> 01:02:55,169
Why did your graffiti say,
"Monty was framed"?
955
01:02:55,260 --> 01:02:56,541
Why do you care?
956
01:02:56,689 --> 01:02:58,892
- Because I care about you.
- You care about a paycheck.
957
01:02:58,977 --> 01:03:00,665
You think I only care
'cause I'm paid?
958
01:03:00,750 --> 01:03:02,542
Would you wanna see me
if the bill wasn't paid?
959
01:03:02,626 --> 01:03:03,626
If you needed me.
960
01:03:03,711 --> 01:03:04,926
Yeah, bullshit!
961
01:03:07,099 --> 01:03:08,894
What are you really asking,
Clay?
962
01:03:09,365 --> 01:03:13,294
I'm not asking anything,
I'm just... I'm fucking fed up!
963
01:03:13,463 --> 01:03:15,283
Well, good. Why?
964
01:03:15,473 --> 01:03:18,724
Because! Because none
of this fucking matters! OK?
965
01:03:18,809 --> 01:03:20,814
If Justin is dead,
966
01:03:21,251 --> 01:03:23,506
then none of the rest of
it matters!
967
01:03:27,130 --> 01:03:28,130
It's...
968
01:03:29,945 --> 01:03:31,494
How could he let it
happen?
969
01:03:31,579 --> 01:03:33,853
How could he let himself
get sick like that?
970
01:03:33,938 --> 01:03:36,783
We... It would've been so easy
to save him!
971
01:03:37,987 --> 01:03:39,992
Maybe deep down,
he didn't think
972
01:03:40,077 --> 01:03:42,260
he was worth saving
or worth loving.
973
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,501
But Jessica loved him.
974
01:03:45,586 --> 01:03:47,275
And my... my...
my parents did.
975
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:48,439
And I did!
976
01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:50,041
But what if
there was some part of him
977
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:51,158
from a long time ago
978
01:03:51,243 --> 01:03:53,416
that couldn't let himself
be loved?
979
01:03:53,755 --> 01:03:55,625
Couldn't let himself
be cared for?
980
01:03:55,710 --> 01:03:57,767
That makes
no sense!
981
01:03:57,852 --> 01:03:59,081
Really, Clay?
982
01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:01,370
You can't imagine
a kid who keeps secrets
983
01:04:01,455 --> 01:04:02,862
from the people
who love him most?
984
01:04:02,978 --> 01:04:05,220
A kid who won't let himself
be cared for?
985
01:04:06,646 --> 01:04:08,158
Fuck you.
986
01:04:33,100 --> 01:04:36,166
My Guild Starfire.
I love that guitar.
987
01:04:39,530 --> 01:04:41,165
I grew up here,
you know.
988
01:04:42,732 --> 01:04:44,135
In Evergreen.
989
01:04:46,324 --> 01:04:48,908
It was the late '60s
and early '70s.
990
01:04:48,993 --> 01:04:51,228
It was a turbulent,
difficult time.
991
01:04:51,902 --> 01:04:53,913
Country was
desperately divided.
992
01:04:54,011 --> 01:04:55,856
Drugs were
everywhere.
993
01:04:56,513 --> 01:04:58,416
I was a troubled kid.
994
01:04:59,879 --> 01:05:01,884
Yeah, I'm sure
you were a hellion.
995
01:05:02,361 --> 01:05:03,885
I stole a car.
996
01:05:06,932 --> 01:05:09,119
So I could steal
a guitar amp.
997
01:05:10,219 --> 01:05:11,697
I sniffed glue.
998
01:05:11,932 --> 01:05:13,317
Dropped acid.
999
01:05:13,423 --> 01:05:14,611
Smoked dope.
1000
01:05:14,724 --> 01:05:16,279
Occasionally I sold it.
1001
01:05:17,401 --> 01:05:18,541
Shit.
1002
01:05:18,762 --> 01:05:20,648
I was going down
a dark road,
1003
01:05:20,785 --> 01:05:23,315
and then
a teacher in my high school
1004
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:24,834
saw something in me.
1005
01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:26,642
Saw...
1006
01:05:27,700 --> 01:05:28,963
me.
1007
01:05:29,694 --> 01:05:31,538
She believed
I had something to offer.
1008
01:05:31,762 --> 01:05:34,220
She was
an English teacher.
1009
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,181
She thought
I could write.
1010
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:37,936
And I said something
to her
1011
01:05:38,021 --> 01:05:40,289
very much like
what you said to me.
1012
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,508
Nothing makes sense.
1013
01:05:42,731 --> 01:05:44,580
None of the pieces
fit together.
1014
01:05:44,723 --> 01:05:46,228
And she said to me...
1015
01:05:46,885 --> 01:05:48,033
"Try."
1016
01:05:49,462 --> 01:05:50,744
She said...
1017
01:05:52,942 --> 01:05:54,166
"Begin."
1018
01:05:57,285 --> 01:05:58,670
So I began.
1019
01:05:59,802 --> 01:06:02,985
And years later
I found myself back here,
1020
01:06:03,079 --> 01:06:04,366
in my home town,
1021
01:06:04,475 --> 01:06:06,360
to help kids like me.
1022
01:06:08,363 --> 01:06:09,627
Like you.
1023
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:12,071
I can't promise
1024
01:06:12,258 --> 01:06:14,908
the story has a happy ending,
Clay.
1025
01:06:15,272 --> 01:06:17,127
What happens to us,
1026
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:20,478
it may only have the sense
that we make of it.
1027
01:06:22,338 --> 01:06:26,303
But I do know
that it's in telling... the story,
1028
01:06:27,559 --> 01:06:29,404
that we learn
who we are.
1029
01:06:30,114 --> 01:06:32,986
And maybe
see who we might become.
1030
01:07:18,934 --> 01:07:21,279
It starts with
Hannah Baker.
1031
01:07:25,889 --> 01:07:27,928
Graduation is
that special time,
1032
01:07:28,017 --> 01:07:31,537
not only to celebrate
but to acknowledge the hard work
1033
01:07:31,662 --> 01:07:36,631
and the countless sacrifices it took
to transform dreams into reality.
1034
01:07:36,916 --> 01:07:39,123
And let's not forget
the fortitude
1035
01:07:39,709 --> 01:07:42,099
to carry on
in the face of adversity.
1036
01:07:42,554 --> 01:07:44,314
This graduating class
1037
01:07:44,529 --> 01:07:47,029
has shown
a special kind of fortitude.
1038
01:07:47,517 --> 01:07:48,889
I admire you all.
1039
01:07:49,139 --> 01:07:50,664
You've been tested
1040
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:52,545
well beyond the classroom,
1041
01:07:53,031 --> 01:07:54,706
and you have endured.
1042
01:07:55,635 --> 01:07:57,962
Now, you may not
believe me.
1043
01:07:58,047 --> 01:07:59,642
Your...
1044
01:07:59,727 --> 01:08:04,742
...class president and class speaker,
in particular, may not believe me.
1045
01:08:05,692 --> 01:08:08,117
But all we have
ever wished for,
1046
01:08:08,432 --> 01:08:11,777
myself,
the educators here today,
1047
01:08:12,102 --> 01:08:13,227
all of your parents,
1048
01:08:13,312 --> 01:08:15,896
all we have truly
wished for
1049
01:08:15,981 --> 01:08:20,411
is to see that you are all happy
and healthy and safe.
1050
01:08:20,611 --> 01:08:22,584
This class, in particular,
1051
01:08:23,095 --> 01:08:25,201
has made that
hellishly hard.
1052
01:08:29,382 --> 01:08:30,935
But I have faith in you.
1053
01:08:32,069 --> 01:08:33,256
All of you.
1054
01:08:33,415 --> 01:08:35,880
And I hope that
we have taught you well.
1055
01:08:36,939 --> 01:08:38,984
I know
you have taught me.
1056
01:08:41,339 --> 01:08:42,818
I'm grateful.
1057
01:08:43,972 --> 01:08:45,498
And I'm proud of you all.
1058
01:08:50,122 --> 01:08:51,639
Look, here's the thing.
1059
01:08:52,767 --> 01:08:54,772
There should be
more of us here.
1060
01:08:56,873 --> 01:09:00,048
And lately, I have been thinking about
why they're not here.
1061
01:09:01,184 --> 01:09:04,859
I have a history of causing trouble
with my speeches.
1062
01:09:05,627 --> 01:09:08,216
Principal Bolan
actually had to approve my speech
1063
01:09:08,301 --> 01:09:10,316
just so I wouldn't
make trouble.
1064
01:09:11,774 --> 01:09:13,449
But that was
a month ago.
1065
01:09:14,276 --> 01:09:16,678
And my life has changed
since then.
1066
01:09:18,618 --> 01:09:19,943
But don't worry,
1067
01:09:20,028 --> 01:09:23,146
I'm not
causing any trouble today.
1068
01:09:25,224 --> 01:09:27,649
Because I just want you
to hear me.
1069
01:09:28,684 --> 01:09:30,945
Some of you circulated a petition
this year,
1070
01:09:31,153 --> 01:09:33,498
demanding I be
removed from office.
1071
01:09:33,783 --> 01:09:35,428
Saying that I was
a one-issue president,
1072
01:09:35,513 --> 01:09:38,443
and I had made my point,
and I should just shut up.
1073
01:09:38,564 --> 01:09:40,282
Well, no girls signed
that petition.
1074
01:09:40,482 --> 01:09:41,987
So, news, boys,
1075
01:09:42,254 --> 01:09:44,099
our point is far from made.
1076
01:09:44,473 --> 01:09:45,858
And we're not shutting up.
1077
01:09:46,019 --> 01:09:47,662
Yeah!
1078
01:09:52,335 --> 01:09:54,543
But you are right
about one thing:
1079
01:09:54,999 --> 01:09:56,924
I am a one-issue president.
1080
01:09:58,471 --> 01:10:00,396
I'm a one-issue person.
1081
01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:04,626
I spent the last
couple of years angry.
1082
01:10:05,407 --> 01:10:06,613
Hurt.
1083
01:10:06,884 --> 01:10:08,269
Scared.
1084
01:10:09,127 --> 01:10:11,160
But I'm not gonna do that
anymore.
1085
01:10:12,488 --> 01:10:15,418
I'm gonna focus
on my one issue.
1086
01:10:17,086 --> 01:10:18,332
Which is love.
1087
01:10:20,092 --> 01:10:23,597
Oh, what? Does talking about love
make you embarrassed?
1088
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:25,847
Is it girly? What?
1089
01:10:26,343 --> 01:10:28,425
Because it's the thing.
1090
01:10:29,761 --> 01:10:32,073
It's the only thing.
1091
01:10:33,342 --> 01:10:34,887
It's easy to hate.
1092
01:10:35,501 --> 01:10:37,207
It's easy to fear.
1093
01:10:37,514 --> 01:10:39,689
It's goddamn
hard to love.
1094
01:10:40,758 --> 01:10:42,261
But it's not optional.
1095
01:10:43,251 --> 01:10:44,676
It's essential.
1096
01:10:47,614 --> 01:10:49,289
It's life or death.
1097
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:52,144
I challenge you.
1098
01:10:52,429 --> 01:10:53,918
Love each other.
1099
01:10:54,056 --> 01:10:55,056
Do it.
1100
01:10:55,202 --> 01:10:56,629
Do it better.
1101
01:10:56,767 --> 01:10:59,089
Now and every day.
1102
01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:01,465
I love you all.
1103
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:07,441
Oh, and fuck the patriarchy.
1104
01:11:19,279 --> 01:11:21,414
It comes down to one question.
1105
01:11:23,241 --> 01:11:24,863
Will you survive high school?
1106
01:11:25,562 --> 01:11:26,808
Will I survive?
1107
01:11:28,428 --> 01:11:30,813
Because I know
too many people who didn't.
1108
01:11:44,012 --> 01:11:45,977
In the past two years,
1109
01:11:48,427 --> 01:11:51,602
three people
who I loved have died.
1110
01:12:00,017 --> 01:12:02,331
And two... two other people...
1111
01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:04,652
...who I thought I hated,
1112
01:12:05,019 --> 01:12:06,339
also died.
1113
01:12:08,310 --> 01:12:10,855
But I learned that
hate is too simple.
1114
01:12:11,424 --> 01:12:12,507
Jessica's right.
1115
01:12:12,592 --> 01:12:13,887
Hate is easy.
1116
01:12:14,941 --> 01:12:17,906
Love and understanding are harder.
1117
01:12:18,103 --> 01:12:20,858
But they are how we take care
of each other,
1118
01:12:21,689 --> 01:12:23,105
how we survive.
1119
01:12:31,434 --> 01:12:33,062
My dad loves
to tell me stories
1120
01:12:33,147 --> 01:12:34,983
about when
he was in high school.
1121
01:12:36,925 --> 01:12:39,520
The stories usually
involve chess club
1122
01:12:39,697 --> 01:12:42,621
and obscure bands
with funny haircuts,
1123
01:12:42,706 --> 01:12:45,668
because the '80s were a strange,
strange time.
1124
01:12:49,476 --> 01:12:51,611
But he always gets
one thing right.
1125
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,825
He knows
high school can hurt.
1126
01:13:01,381 --> 01:13:02,957
That it can be painful.
1127
01:13:03,179 --> 01:13:05,910
That there are days
when that's all it is.
1128
01:13:08,273 --> 01:13:11,082
And he once told me
that he's living proof...
1129
01:13:12,256 --> 01:13:13,841
you can survive.
1130
01:13:16,263 --> 01:13:17,858
You can get through it.
1131
01:13:19,703 --> 01:13:22,746
He's living proof,
and so am I.
1132
01:13:23,626 --> 01:13:25,671
And so are all of you.
1133
01:13:26,637 --> 01:13:27,874
And the thing is,
1134
01:13:27,959 --> 01:13:29,079
for me,
1135
01:13:30,026 --> 01:13:31,646
for us,
1136
01:13:32,740 --> 01:13:35,455
this class, this...
this generation,
1137
01:13:37,453 --> 01:13:40,048
high school actually
is life or death.
1138
01:13:42,389 --> 01:13:43,561
We show up every day
1139
01:13:43,646 --> 01:13:45,988
not knowing
if this is the day we die.
1140
01:13:46,645 --> 01:13:51,082
If this is the day someone shows up
with a gun and tries to kill us all.
1141
01:13:51,670 --> 01:13:53,660
We practice
what we'll do if that happens.
1142
01:13:55,980 --> 01:13:57,269
Life or death.
1143
01:14:02,076 --> 01:14:04,160
I suffer from anxiety...
1144
01:14:07,016 --> 01:14:09,111
and, uh, depression.
1145
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:11,225
But mostly anxiety.
1146
01:14:16,299 --> 01:14:19,724
I sometimes think all of us kids do,
in some way.
1147
01:14:20,967 --> 01:14:23,472
And how could we not,
with the world the way it is?
1148
01:14:24,550 --> 01:14:27,885
We hear a lot of promises
that things will get better.
1149
01:14:28,504 --> 01:14:30,639
And... and, look, maybe they will,
1150
01:14:31,421 --> 01:14:32,808
maybe they won't.
1151
01:14:34,700 --> 01:14:36,745
And what I think I've learned,
1152
01:14:37,868 --> 01:14:39,713
what I wanna say to you...
1153
01:14:42,104 --> 01:14:45,319
is whatever happens,
keep moving.
1154
01:14:47,317 --> 01:14:48,668
Get through it.
1155
01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:52,409
Choose to live.
1156
01:14:54,829 --> 01:14:57,004
'Cause even on the worst day,
there...
1157
01:14:57,680 --> 01:14:59,645
are people
who love you.
1158
01:15:01,021 --> 01:15:03,215
There's new music
waiting for you to hear,
1159
01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:05,310
some... something
you haven't seen before
1160
01:15:05,395 --> 01:15:07,860
that will blow
your mind in the best way.
1161
01:15:11,291 --> 01:15:13,056
Even on the worst day,
1162
01:15:18,153 --> 01:15:20,328
life is a pretty
spectacular thing.
1163
01:15:35,063 --> 01:15:36,063
Thank you.
1164
01:15:37,897 --> 01:15:38,897
Good luck.
1165
01:15:39,334 --> 01:15:40,665
Yeah!
1166
01:15:53,339 --> 01:15:54,955
♪ Got a little soul ♪
1167
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:58,376
♪ The world is a cold,
cold place to be ♪
1168
01:15:59,435 --> 01:16:00,907
♪ Want a little warmth ♪
1169
01:16:00,992 --> 01:16:04,516
♪ But who's gonna save
A little warmth for me? ♪
1170
01:16:04,951 --> 01:16:10,516
♪ We know the fire awaits unbelievers
All of the sinners the same... ♪
1171
01:16:12,928 --> 01:16:13,962
- Hey!
- Hey!
1172
01:16:14,167 --> 01:16:17,301
- Where's your mom?
- Oh, she had to work. Couldn't leave.
1173
01:16:17,386 --> 01:16:19,540
Then you have to help me
endure my relatives.
1174
01:16:19,633 --> 01:16:21,743
My uncle flew in
from Milwaukee.
1175
01:16:21,953 --> 01:16:25,552
Dude. No way.
You do not like The Descendants.
1176
01:16:25,637 --> 01:16:27,356
Saw their Sacramento
show last year!
1177
01:16:27,441 --> 01:16:30,577
You know, I love
that the new quarterback is a homo.
1178
01:16:30,782 --> 01:16:33,172
Uh, he identifies as bisexual,
actually,
1179
01:16:33,270 --> 01:16:35,073
and I don't think
we're supposed to use that word.
1180
01:16:35,157 --> 01:16:37,314
Yeah, we designed
the whole thing!
1181
01:16:37,399 --> 01:16:39,697
We like to keep a hand in,
even though you're off at Wellesley.
1182
01:16:39,781 --> 01:16:42,368
Oh, my God!
This is where I get it from!
1183
01:16:42,571 --> 01:16:46,204
You know, she wrote her new essay
about causing riots, stripping naked,
1184
01:16:46,289 --> 01:16:48,899
- um, getting suspended...
- Then I got into Berkeley.
1185
01:16:49,157 --> 01:16:50,185
Graciella!
1186
01:16:50,837 --> 01:16:52,008
Mi vida!
1187
01:16:52,163 --> 01:16:54,188
- Tonio!
- Yes!
1188
01:16:54,384 --> 01:16:56,061
Oh, it's so good to see you!
1189
01:16:56,152 --> 01:16:58,555
- I missed you.
- I missed you!
1190
01:16:58,878 --> 01:17:00,639
Oh, my God,
you're so big.
1191
01:17:00,724 --> 01:17:02,150
- Look at your hair!
- Yeah, I know.
1192
01:17:02,235 --> 01:17:04,829
Mrs. Walker had some money
she wanted to give away,
1193
01:17:04,914 --> 01:17:06,507
so she's endowing HO.
1194
01:17:06,618 --> 01:17:09,398
So, although we will soon be forgotten
around here...
1195
01:17:09,605 --> 01:17:10,739
The cause lives on.
1196
01:17:10,845 --> 01:17:12,272
The torch is passed.
1197
01:17:12,372 --> 01:17:13,517
Use it well.
1198
01:17:13,609 --> 01:17:17,871
You guys want me to take over HO?
Tyler will be so proud! Can I tell him?
1199
01:17:18,064 --> 01:17:19,197
- 'Course!
- Sure.
1200
01:17:19,282 --> 01:17:20,016
I was thinking
1201
01:17:20,101 --> 01:17:22,563
maybe we could carpool
up in the Bay Area to visit our boos.
1202
01:17:22,652 --> 01:17:24,538
You're coming up
for every football game, right?
1203
01:17:24,738 --> 01:17:26,469
Uh... Am I supposed to?
1204
01:17:26,577 --> 01:17:28,632
Yeah. You are. You're the boyfriend.
1205
01:17:28,813 --> 01:17:30,025
Every game?
1206
01:17:30,118 --> 01:17:33,046
Those little short routes
are a waste of time! Let him air it out!
1207
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:36,373
Luke, I love you. You got a great arm,
but you haven't been known for your brain.
1208
01:17:36,458 --> 01:17:38,385
- OK?
- Offense is boring.
1209
01:17:38,498 --> 01:17:39,803
Check it out.
1210
01:17:40,377 --> 01:17:41,964
Winston, man!
1211
01:17:42,130 --> 01:17:43,667
Congrats, dude!
1212
01:17:44,424 --> 01:17:45,508
- Thanks.
- You finally did it.
1213
01:17:45,592 --> 01:17:47,394
We're gonna hang out
this week, right?
1214
01:17:47,494 --> 01:17:50,089
- For sure.
- Cool. Looking forward to it.
1215
01:17:51,461 --> 01:17:53,565
Look, they hate you
until they love you.
1216
01:17:53,683 --> 01:17:55,068
That's all I gotta say.
1217
01:17:55,250 --> 01:17:56,518
I'm Ryan.
1218
01:17:56,686 --> 01:17:58,661
- Winston.
- Oh, I know.
1219
01:17:59,092 --> 01:18:01,187
- So...
- Always workin' the room.
1220
01:18:01,464 --> 01:18:03,809
- She's an old friend.
- Ryan Shaver.
1221
01:18:04,026 --> 01:18:05,347
I, uh...
1222
01:18:05,528 --> 01:18:07,080
- It was a late application...
- Right.
1223
01:18:07,201 --> 01:18:09,086
...but I got in off an audition.
1224
01:18:09,272 --> 01:18:11,018
Wait, so you're gonna study music?
1225
01:18:11,579 --> 01:18:13,176
Yeah!
1226
01:18:13,261 --> 01:18:14,778
- That's awesome, Zachy!
- It's great!
1227
01:18:14,863 --> 01:18:16,957
And your mom is totally cool
with it?
1228
01:18:17,157 --> 01:18:18,667
Well, she thinks
it's for violin,
1229
01:18:18,752 --> 01:18:21,847
and it's actually for guitar and voice,
but one step at a time.
1230
01:18:21,932 --> 01:18:25,361
- I'm gonna forget I know that last bit.
- Probably for the best, yeah.
1231
01:18:25,603 --> 01:18:26,854
Hey, Clay.
1232
01:18:27,384 --> 01:18:29,051
- Congratulations.
- Oh, thanks, Dean Foundry.
1233
01:18:29,135 --> 01:18:31,270
Really, no,
your speech was wonderful.
1234
01:18:31,789 --> 01:18:34,834
Honestly, it was inspiring,
even for an old guy like me.
1235
01:18:35,100 --> 01:18:36,565
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1236
01:18:36,927 --> 01:18:41,058
- No, it was really moving.
- It's a good reminder...
1237
01:18:50,820 --> 01:18:53,175
I gotta do something with my friends
for a bit,
1238
01:18:53,260 --> 01:18:55,680
but I'll definitely be back
in time for dinner.
1239
01:18:55,813 --> 01:18:58,622
And very soon,
I'm gonna be so close to Arizona.
1240
01:18:58,707 --> 01:19:00,328
- Like, four hours.
- Maybe three.
1241
01:19:00,413 --> 01:19:02,542
We're so proud of you, kid.
You know that, right?
1242
01:19:02,627 --> 01:19:05,173
- Said it about a million times.
- And we'll say it a million more.
1243
01:19:05,257 --> 01:19:06,211
Hey, one more.
1244
01:19:06,296 --> 01:19:08,951
- Really embarrass him this time, Mom.
- Come on, bring it in.
1245
01:19:09,036 --> 01:19:10,296
Yeah!
1246
01:19:10,381 --> 01:19:12,805
I gotta see my friends.
I'll be home later.
1247
01:19:13,012 --> 01:19:16,766
- Can we make pozole and sopapillas?
- Por supuesto. Of course we can.
1248
01:19:17,934 --> 01:19:20,529
Teaching you has been
an absolute pleasure, Amorowat.
1249
01:19:20,713 --> 01:19:22,665
Oh, thank you, Mr. Wood.
That's very kind.
1250
01:19:22,750 --> 01:19:25,213
- It's not often in a teacher's career...
- Sorry, we need Ani.
1251
01:19:25,297 --> 01:19:27,067
We've got a robotics emergency.
1252
01:19:27,152 --> 01:19:28,735
Excuse me, Mr. Wood.
Thank you.
1253
01:19:28,820 --> 01:19:33,291
I have to go do, um, a totally legal thing
with my friends, so...
1254
01:19:33,491 --> 01:19:35,246
- Of course.
- Um...
1255
01:19:35,584 --> 01:19:36,809
Thanks, guys.
1256
01:19:37,192 --> 01:19:38,617
Great day, kiddo.
1257
01:19:41,627 --> 01:19:43,094
I, uh...
1258
01:19:44,828 --> 01:19:46,555
Uh, thank you, guys...
1259
01:19:46,979 --> 01:19:48,375
for everything...
1260
01:19:48,811 --> 01:19:50,039
ever.
1261
01:19:51,336 --> 01:19:52,734
I-I love you.
1262
01:20:02,479 --> 01:20:05,194
I just wanna take pictures
that matter to somebody.
1263
01:20:05,849 --> 01:20:07,207
I'd like to make
enough money
1264
01:20:07,292 --> 01:20:08,846
so that my mum
doesn't have to work.
1265
01:20:08,931 --> 01:20:09,963
Yeah.
1266
01:20:10,048 --> 01:20:11,822
I fully plan on being famous.
1267
01:20:11,988 --> 01:20:16,018
Like, not social famous, I mean,
so even The New York Times knows who I am.
1268
01:20:16,887 --> 01:20:18,692
I just wanna remember this day.
1269
01:20:19,291 --> 01:20:21,006
Just like this. Right now.
1270
01:20:21,633 --> 01:20:22,916
Yeah.
1271
01:20:40,078 --> 01:20:41,479
I just wanna be clear.
1272
01:20:41,670 --> 01:20:44,143
I don't actually
see ghosts.
1273
01:20:44,427 --> 01:20:46,174
I just, like...
1274
01:20:47,273 --> 01:20:49,752
imagine people and...
1275
01:20:50,535 --> 01:20:52,040
what I would say to them.
1276
01:20:54,024 --> 01:20:55,385
Yeah, I get it.
1277
01:20:56,451 --> 01:20:58,628
You wrote my paper
on magical realism.
1278
01:20:58,820 --> 01:21:00,182
I didn't write your...
1279
01:21:00,286 --> 01:21:02,005
I just helped you write it.
1280
01:21:02,142 --> 01:21:05,317
Yeah, I know.
I just like to get you goin'.
1281
01:21:07,794 --> 01:21:11,681
But what I don't get is why ghost you
is hanging out with Bryce?
1282
01:21:11,834 --> 01:21:13,049
Even in my head.
1283
01:21:13,456 --> 01:21:15,596
We loved each other,
me and him.
1284
01:21:17,175 --> 01:21:18,520
We were brothers.
1285
01:21:22,613 --> 01:21:24,868
You know,
you can love people who did...
1286
01:21:25,449 --> 01:21:26,643
bad shit.
1287
01:21:27,981 --> 01:21:30,486
You can forgive people.
1288
01:21:33,002 --> 01:21:35,158
Even the people
who hurt you worst.
1289
01:21:39,284 --> 01:21:40,932
You're talking about Hannah.
1290
01:21:43,034 --> 01:21:46,629
When you forgive someone,
it's more for you than them.
1291
01:21:52,158 --> 01:21:53,623
How much I hurt...
1292
01:21:54,710 --> 01:21:55,935
with Hannah.
1293
01:21:56,399 --> 01:21:57,768
Always.
1294
01:21:58,910 --> 01:22:00,252
It's my fault.
1295
01:22:00,635 --> 01:22:03,232
I fall in love with girls too fast,
1296
01:22:03,742 --> 01:22:04,963
too hard.
1297
01:22:23,161 --> 01:22:24,321
Clay?
1298
01:22:24,579 --> 01:22:26,134
Are you Clay Jensen?
1299
01:22:26,748 --> 01:22:29,134
Oh, my gosh.
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
1300
01:22:29,219 --> 01:22:31,984
You're just like a rock star
after that speech.
1301
01:22:32,357 --> 01:22:35,755
Uh, but I go to East County,
and I'm going to Brown next year,
1302
01:22:35,840 --> 01:22:37,434
and I heard you are too,
1303
01:22:37,539 --> 01:22:41,102
so I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to get, like, a coffee?
1304
01:22:41,220 --> 01:22:42,220
Or some other beverage
1305
01:22:42,305 --> 01:22:45,440
to, like, go over the course catalog
and first-year handbook?
1306
01:22:46,045 --> 01:22:47,930
Or is that too dorky?
1307
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,595
Oh...
1308
01:22:51,026 --> 01:22:52,266
I'm Heidi.
1309
01:22:52,862 --> 01:22:54,040
That's...
1310
01:22:54,746 --> 01:22:56,301
That would be very cool.
1311
01:22:56,651 --> 01:22:57,651
Oh!
1312
01:22:58,325 --> 01:22:59,555
Phew!
1313
01:22:59,727 --> 01:23:01,954
I was worried
that would sound completely nerdy.
1314
01:23:02,045 --> 01:23:03,260
Jensen!
1315
01:23:04,162 --> 01:23:05,547
Are we gonna do this?
1316
01:23:05,700 --> 01:23:07,110
Yeah. Uh, yes.
1317
01:23:07,254 --> 01:23:08,431
Um...
1318
01:23:08,615 --> 01:23:10,542
I have to go do a...
a thing.
1319
01:23:10,627 --> 01:23:11,882
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...
1320
01:23:12,298 --> 01:23:14,381
- You... you can email me.
- OK.
1321
01:23:14,466 --> 01:23:15,712
Yeah, it's, uh...
1322
01:23:15,797 --> 01:23:21,311
It's percyakr2161@gmail.com
1323
01:23:21,448 --> 01:23:22,528
Nice.
1324
01:23:22,613 --> 01:23:24,038
Alien Killer Robots.
1325
01:23:25,188 --> 01:23:26,303
Yes!
1326
01:23:26,432 --> 01:23:27,937
Yeah.
1327
01:23:28,061 --> 01:23:29,486
Jensen!
1328
01:23:38,496 --> 01:23:41,985
♪ Well, a person can work up ♪
1329
01:23:42,323 --> 01:23:45,288
♪ A mean, mean thirst ♪
1330
01:23:45,702 --> 01:23:50,877
♪ After a hard day
Of nothin' much at all... ♪
1331
01:23:57,672 --> 01:23:59,751
This is where
I first listened to my tape.
1332
01:24:04,012 --> 01:24:06,063
And this is where we lay them
to rest.
1333
01:24:11,146 --> 01:24:12,509
Rest in peace.
1334
01:24:17,182 --> 01:24:18,524
Come on, people.
1335
01:24:20,528 --> 01:24:22,403
Let's pile on the closure dirt.
1336
01:24:59,178 --> 01:25:01,893
I'm on those tapes.
It's my day too.
1337
01:25:02,281 --> 01:25:03,412
No.
1338
01:25:04,269 --> 01:25:05,694
Your day's gone.
1339
01:25:06,222 --> 01:25:07,678
Long gone.
1340
01:25:07,919 --> 01:25:09,662
You need me in this world.
1341
01:25:09,793 --> 01:25:12,554
Otherwise, what would girls like you
start riots about?
1342
01:25:12,645 --> 01:25:13,871
Oh, there's plenty.
1343
01:25:13,956 --> 01:25:16,011
Still, I kinda feel like I won.
1344
01:25:17,351 --> 01:25:18,654
You didn't.
1345
01:25:19,216 --> 01:25:21,681
I was looking around today
at graduation,
1346
01:25:21,901 --> 01:25:24,866
and I was thinking
about how Justin was missing,
1347
01:25:26,005 --> 01:25:27,342
and Hannah.
1348
01:25:29,484 --> 01:25:30,959
But then I thought,
1349
01:25:31,529 --> 01:25:33,744
I love these people.
1350
01:25:34,387 --> 01:25:37,190
Clay Jensen, Zach, and Courtney,
1351
01:25:37,275 --> 01:25:41,037
Ryan freakin' Shaver,
for fuck's sake.
1352
01:25:41,251 --> 01:25:44,426
In what kind of world
do I love all these kinds of people?
1353
01:25:46,449 --> 01:25:47,914
The world you made.
1354
01:25:48,973 --> 01:25:51,740
We had to love each other
at the end of it all.
1355
01:25:53,250 --> 01:25:54,600
You did that.
1356
01:25:55,414 --> 01:25:57,429
So that's something, right?
1357
01:25:58,605 --> 01:25:59,818
Sure.
1358
01:26:22,358 --> 01:26:25,328
♪ Stand beside it ♪
1359
01:26:25,528 --> 01:26:31,283
♪ We can't hide the way it makes us glow ♪
1360
01:26:33,161 --> 01:26:36,923
♪ It's no good unless it grows ♪
1361
01:26:37,123 --> 01:26:41,302
♪ Feeling this burning love of mine... ♪
1362
01:26:41,502 --> 01:26:45,154
For the first time I can remember,
the town seemed small.
1363
01:26:45,647 --> 01:26:46,826
Tiny.
1364
01:26:48,728 --> 01:26:50,826
Like I had seen
every corner of it
1365
01:26:50,911 --> 01:26:53,115
I needed to see,
as of today.
1366
01:26:57,323 --> 01:26:59,658
All the shit
that never would've happened.
1367
01:27:00,325 --> 01:27:02,500
But we would've
never been friends.
1368
01:27:03,460 --> 01:27:04,965
We'll always have that.
1369
01:27:06,104 --> 01:27:09,487
If anyone ever needs any help,
anytime, anyplace,
1370
01:27:09,572 --> 01:27:12,083
just send a group text,
say, "Gordon Lightfoot."
1371
01:27:12,283 --> 01:27:13,783
- Right on.
- Wait. What?
1372
01:27:13,868 --> 01:27:15,123
Gordon Lightfoot?
1373
01:27:15,925 --> 01:27:18,060
It's the strangest
fucking code word.
1374
01:27:21,807 --> 01:27:26,392
♪ I'd take care of you ♪
1375
01:27:28,341 --> 01:27:32,806
♪ If you'd ask me to ♪
1376
01:27:41,833 --> 01:27:43,638
It was a nice speech.
1377
01:27:49,348 --> 01:27:50,466
Thanks.
1378
01:27:50,869 --> 01:27:55,567
I mean, it was super dark
and... a little meandering, but very...
1379
01:27:56,324 --> 01:27:57,450
you.
1380
01:28:02,513 --> 01:28:03,728
What's all that?
1381
01:28:06,121 --> 01:28:08,046
Uh, it's just stuff
from school.
1382
01:28:08,578 --> 01:28:10,913
They had me clean out
your locker today.
1383
01:28:13,008 --> 01:28:14,893
- Both of them.
- Oof!
1384
01:28:15,563 --> 01:28:16,714
Sorry about that.
1385
01:28:16,935 --> 01:28:18,150
And...
1386
01:28:18,753 --> 01:28:20,099
I found this.
1387
01:28:21,560 --> 01:28:22,985
Your college essay.
1388
01:28:23,182 --> 01:28:24,647
The one that got you in.
1389
01:28:25,273 --> 01:28:26,575
I didn't read it.
1390
01:28:26,774 --> 01:28:27,950
It's personal.
1391
01:28:28,087 --> 01:28:32,222
Dude, I mean, we have literally
breathed each other's farts.
1392
01:28:33,437 --> 01:28:35,593
You've walked in on me
jerking off
1393
01:28:35,678 --> 01:28:39,023
more times than you even know,
and now you draw the line?
1394
01:28:39,213 --> 01:28:40,364
Yeah.
1395
01:28:48,475 --> 01:28:52,044
"I didn't really grow up
with much positivity in my life.
1396
01:28:52,294 --> 01:28:56,009
And if I had influences around me,
they were definitely bad.
1397
01:28:56,304 --> 01:28:57,814
My mother was a drug addict.
1398
01:28:58,014 --> 01:29:01,729
Her revolving door of boyfriends,
mostly drug addicts too.
1399
01:29:01,937 --> 01:29:04,106
I had a best friend
I used to look up to,
1400
01:29:04,270 --> 01:29:07,565
but then he hurt people close to me,
and now he's dead."
1401
01:29:08,331 --> 01:29:10,296
Jesus, Justin, talk about dark.
1402
01:29:10,538 --> 01:29:12,872
Just... keep going.
1403
01:29:16,141 --> 01:29:17,567
"There was a time in my life
1404
01:29:17,652 --> 01:29:20,161
I truly had nothing
but the clothes on my back
1405
01:29:20,302 --> 01:29:22,714
and the regret
for the people I'd hurt.
1406
01:29:23,080 --> 01:29:24,958
And then a person
came into my life.
1407
01:29:25,178 --> 01:29:27,223
A person named
Clay Jensen."
1408
01:29:29,628 --> 01:29:30,972
You wrote about me?
1409
01:29:31,070 --> 01:29:32,450
They, uh...
1410
01:29:33,080 --> 01:29:36,200
They said to write
about a positive influence in your life.
1411
01:29:45,683 --> 01:29:49,685
"Even when I was puking all over his room,
he was there.
1412
01:29:49,856 --> 01:29:51,364
He's always been there,
1413
01:29:51,525 --> 01:29:55,160
which is why even though
I've never had a proper family,
1414
01:29:55,409 --> 01:29:57,704
I know what it feels like
to have one
1415
01:29:58,135 --> 01:30:00,310
because Clay gave that
to me.
1416
01:30:01,201 --> 01:30:02,708
Because he's my...
1417
01:30:10,211 --> 01:30:11,575
He's my..."
1418
01:30:13,957 --> 01:30:15,422
"He's my brother.
1419
01:30:17,093 --> 01:30:19,356
He's my positive influence.
1420
01:30:20,506 --> 01:30:22,479
He's the reason
I'm alive
1421
01:30:22,724 --> 01:30:25,781
and able to write
this college essay
1422
01:30:25,866 --> 01:30:27,331
in the first place."
1423
01:30:31,465 --> 01:30:32,940
I miss you.
1424
01:30:41,832 --> 01:30:44,544
How am I supposed to do this
without you?
1425
01:30:47,260 --> 01:30:48,895
Clay, it's like you said.
1426
01:30:52,515 --> 01:30:54,070
You'll survive.
1427
01:31:08,811 --> 01:31:10,106
You will, you know.
1428
01:31:13,149 --> 01:31:14,420
Survive.
1429
01:31:15,677 --> 01:31:16,920
Yeah.
1430
01:31:18,618 --> 01:31:19,963
I know it now.
1431
01:31:20,929 --> 01:31:22,365
You're out of town next week?
1432
01:31:22,489 --> 01:31:24,708
Yeah, I'm driving with Tony
to see his school.
1433
01:31:24,978 --> 01:31:26,243
He's starting summer quarter
1434
01:31:26,328 --> 01:31:29,725
because he's still got some stuff
to... make up.
1435
01:31:29,832 --> 01:31:31,092
Um...
1436
01:31:31,292 --> 01:31:34,662
But you said
we could maybe still FaceTime?
1437
01:31:34,859 --> 01:31:36,744
Sure. Let me know
what works.
1438
01:31:36,937 --> 01:31:41,100
I'm back in two weeks for the summer,
but then, um...
1439
01:31:41,302 --> 01:31:43,729
We can meet online
as you settle into school.
1440
01:31:43,814 --> 01:31:47,795
And then...
I'm sure there are resources on campus.
1441
01:31:48,444 --> 01:31:49,444
Yeah.
1442
01:31:49,660 --> 01:31:51,107
Yeah, no, I'm sure.
1443
01:31:52,890 --> 01:31:54,100
All right.
1444
01:31:54,638 --> 01:31:55,638
See ya.
1445
01:31:56,775 --> 01:31:57,975
See ya.
1446
01:32:22,968 --> 01:32:26,763
♪ Now that San Francisco's gone ♪
1447
01:32:26,972 --> 01:32:30,937
♪ I guess I'll just pack it in ♪
1448
01:32:31,435 --> 01:32:35,156
♪ Wanna wash away my sins ♪
1449
01:32:35,356 --> 01:32:39,831
♪ In the presence of my friends ♪
1450
01:32:53,457 --> 01:32:57,342
♪ Though we knew this day would come ♪
1451
01:32:57,586 --> 01:33:02,021
♪ Still it took us by surprise ♪
1452
01:33:02,299 --> 01:33:05,686
♪ In this town where I was born ♪
1453
01:33:05,886 --> 01:33:10,361
♪ I now see through a dead man's eyes ♪
1454
01:33:11,016 --> 01:33:17,161
♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪
1455
01:33:19,525 --> 01:33:25,540
♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪
1456
01:33:27,992 --> 01:33:34,047
♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪
1457
01:33:36,417 --> 01:33:42,522
♪ One day they will see it's long gone ♪
1458
01:34:50,324 --> 01:34:52,999
♪ I should be saying goodnight ♪
1459
01:34:53,786 --> 01:34:57,801
♪ I really shouldn't stay anymore... ♪
1460
01:35:08,634 --> 01:35:13,809
♪ I should run on the double ♪
1461
01:35:19,228 --> 01:35:22,493
- ♪ I think I'm in... ♪
- ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪
1462
01:35:27,509 --> 01:35:30,454
♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪
1463
01:35:34,368 --> 01:35:37,243
- ♪ I think I'm in... ♪
- ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪
1464
01:35:44,002 --> 01:35:47,264
♪ So, come to me, darling
And hold me ♪
1465
01:35:47,464 --> 01:35:51,019
♪ Let your honey keep you warm ♪
1466
01:35:51,635 --> 01:35:55,105
♪ Been so long since I held you ♪
1467
01:35:55,305 --> 01:35:59,230
♪ I've forgotten what love is for ♪
1468
01:36:02,497 --> 01:36:08,417
♪ I should run on the double ♪
1469
01:36:12,523 --> 01:36:16,972
- ♪ I think I'm in... ♪
- ♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪
1470
01:36:21,964 --> 01:36:24,941
♪ I think I'm in trouble ♪
1471
01:36:25,025 --> 01:36:27,156
Sync corrections by srjanapala
1472
01:36:57,719 --> 01:36:59,724
Well done, Ed.
Well done.
102653
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