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1
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,678
Easy, boy. Steady. Wait!
2
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,681
Whoa! Fucking wings!
What's going on?
3
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,483
4
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,323
Fuckin' white horse!
5
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:04,932
6
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,325
Not bad, dude.
7
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,761
Don't give up your day job!
8
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,103
Is he Milli or Vanilli?
9
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,973
You are a genius.
10
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,442
Hey, Roy...
11
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,055
12
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,094
Hey, Andy!
Yo, Eddie!
13
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,629
Drinks on the house!
14
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,164
15
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:33,254
Whoa! Hey, baby!
16
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,065
Hollywood.
17
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,387
18
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,490
I said, stop! Hold it!
19
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,758
Watch it!
20
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,844
Hold it! Hold it!
21
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,783
Thank you.
No problemo.
22
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:16,123
Wow. I'm in love.
You're a fox, baby.
23
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:20,060
Not just a fox,
but the fox of foxes!
24
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,431
If I was a hound dog,
you wouldn't stand a chance.
25
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,367
I'd be snapping at you
day and night.
26
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,437
I'm a snapper.
27
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,006
Edward Dash?
28
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,141
That's me.
29
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,409
Take a seat.
30
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,447
Well, Mr. Dash,
for your probation,
you owe us
31
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,249
100 hours
of community service.
32
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,718
Let's see
what we've got.
33
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,955
Here's a unique
opportunity.
34
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,991
The East LA Housing Facility
needs some help with bricklaying.
35
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:54,595
Hey, no laying bricks
or stuff like that.
36
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,664
I don't do that lifting shit.
37
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:57,965
Graffiti removal?
38
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,232
You heard what I said?
39
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,570
Does that preclude you
from doing anything strenuous?
40
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,906
Yes, it precludes me!
41
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:10,444
We do have a few
less strenuous activities,
42
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:13,146
but they involve
helping the disadvantaged,
43
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,583
and there are
certain requirements.
44
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:19,853
I can have a degree here
in 24 hours, from Harvard!
45
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:24,825
A degree isn't necessary.
It's a matter of patience and kindness.
46
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,327
What they're looking for
is a people person.
47
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,529
That's me.
48
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:31,331
Are you telling me that
you are a people person?
49
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,101
That's what I'm telling you.
50
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,271
Coochie-coochie.
51
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,307
How would you feel
about spending time
52
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,710
with a voluntary patient
from the Rivington Clinic?
53
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,546
No lifting?
The Rivington is a sanitarium.
54
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,982
Your job would be to accompany
the individual to various
55
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,519
"therapeutic
and cultural pursuits."
56
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,521
I guess that means
taking a patient
57
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,756
to the ballet
or museum or such.
58
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,592
Museum? 'Cause, you know,
I know a great one of those.
59
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,293
I can handle this.
60
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,163
George, we've been
telling you for months
61
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,466
that you're ready
to go back into the world,
62
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,134
but you have to feel ready.
63
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,969
Do you feel ready, George?
64
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,270
I don't know.
65
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,272
He is not ready!
66
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,974
You're scared,
aren't you, George,
67
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,744
scared some girl's going
to ask to see your mickey?
68
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,378
That's enough, Brad.
You let him talk.
69
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,414
No, no, that's not it.
70
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,983
He's just scared of lying.
Isn't that right, Pinoc?
71
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:29,757
Then his nose starts growing.
I hate when that happens.
72
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,661
Are you afraid that you might
start to lie again, George? Is that it?
73
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:34,928
No.
74
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,632
What's a pathological liar gonna say?
"Now I'm gonna lie"?
75
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,068
George, yesterday
you couldn't wait to go.
76
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:45,205
Do you remember what you said?
"I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo."
77
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,808
What did you say yesterday?
78
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:48,976
"I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo."
79
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,448
Hit the deck! Incoming!
80
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,118
Why are you afraid, George?
81
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,054
Why can't I just stay here?
82
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,390
Why do I have to go someplace?
I like it here.
83
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,527
I feel safe here. Why do I have to go away?
American 357 from Dallas.
84
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,362
Yeah, definitely US Air.
Yeah, excellent airline.
85
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,866
Flight 202 from Baltimore.
American. Definitely US Air.
86
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,035
There's a nice young man
coming here
87
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:18,639
to take you to find
an apartment and a job.
88
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,174
Job!
You're looking forward
to that, aren't you, George?
89
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,611
90
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,312
91
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,250
He's afraid
he's gonna see his old girlfriend,
92
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,352
and he won't be able to get it up.
No, I'm not.
93
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:36,123
Is that it, George?
No. Anyway, she dumped me.
94
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,893
She dumped you because
you told her you were a brain surgeon!
95
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,194
I did not say that.
96
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:42,496
What did you
tell her you were?
97
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,764
A commando
in the Navy SEALs.
98
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:44,832
99
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,999
Uh-oh.
100
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,302
George, why do you feel
you always had to lie to her?
101
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:52,906
Oh, she wouldn't have looked
at me twice
102
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:56,243
if I'd just said I was a Volvo
salesman for Horst Mueller.
103
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,779
Excuse me, sir. Jeez, I hate
to bother you like this.
104
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,314
I know you're very busy,
what with the therapy.
105
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,383
I just need
to clear something up.
106
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,886
Are you saying that you're not
the governor of California?
107
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:09,857
Did you fellows know he's been lying all along?
I have egg on my face.
108
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,305
Hey, could... Hello?
109
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,009
Hey, can you help me
find Nurse Fletcher?
110
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,378
Told me the dailies were
great. I don't understand.
111
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,146
They said the dailies
were great.
112
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,782
I just don't understand
what happened.
113
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,249
Is this your brother?
114
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,152
I think this would be a marvelous time
to extract the little present
115
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,554
that we got for George.
116
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:41,722
Very well, Mr. Spock.
117
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,791
Gentlemen, set your phasers
on stun.
118
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,225
119
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:48,796
George, on behalf
of my entire crew,
120
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,297
Spock, Bones, Scotty,
121
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,866
we'd like to present you
with a little gift.
122
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,502
Something we picked up
on Rigel Four.
123
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,806
It's our way of saying,
"Good luck out there in the world."
124
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:03,076
Godspeed. Show 'em what you're made of, mister.
Live long and prosper.
125
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:06,279
Go where no man
has gone before.
126
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,016
Phil, for Christ's sake,
be yourself! I think he gets the point.
127
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,018
I was simply saying.
128
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,185
I'm very touched.
129
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,088
He is touched!
I must say,I didn't expect
130
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,292
a hat.
131
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:22,062
An Honest-Abe hat.
132
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,798
It's to house your mickey
after a busy day of lying.
133
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:28,235
I know it's insulting to you, George,
but the fellowsdid craft it themselves.
134
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,805
I'm not insulted by this.
Far from it.
135
00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:34,608
I'm gonna wear this hat.
I've earned it.
136
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:41,849
I'll treasure it.I'm not afraid anymore,
Teddy. I'm ready for my new life.
137
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,316
Then say it, George.
138
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,619
I'm a-ready, Teddy, yo!
139
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:49,089
Have you ever worked
with the mentally challenged?
140
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,358
My sister's a loony.
141
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,161
Oh. What sort of work
do you do?
142
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,730
Well, a little bit of this,
a little bit of that.
143
00:09:56,764 --> 00:10:00,901
Oh, look,
there he is with the hat.
144
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,137
Can I have your Heath bars?
145
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,540
Whoa, wait. Uh, I got a lot
of stuff to do, you know?
146
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,677
I got places to go,
people to meet.
147
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,779
You needn't worry
about George.
148
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,214
He's not a lunatic. Come on.
149
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,551
That must be him.
150
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,788
If he starts having fits,
I'm gonna tell you,
151
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,423
I'm gonna see it from across the street 'cause
I don't want to be around it.
152
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,293
Mr. Dash, I hope
you'll be patient with George.
153
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,627
He looks like a nice man.
154
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,262
I'll go say hello
and bring him back here.
155
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,530
Okay? See you in a minute.
156
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,999
Good, good.
157
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:37,738
TIM: Bring him back here!
Eddie. Eddie, Eddie. Hi.
158
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:41,541
Oh, playing games already,
Eddie, Eddie.
159
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,743
This is Eddie, isn't it?
160
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,378
George, this is Eddie Dash.
161
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,114
I knew it! I knew it!
Hello, Eddie!
162
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,116
Hello, Eddie.
163
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,919
Don't you kiss me no more,
man. I'm gonna kick your ass!
164
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:54,654
Oh, he's gonna kick my ass.
165
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,958
Don't do that!
You're funny.
166
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,560
Come on, I want you to meet the guys upstairs.
Don't touch me.
167
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,800
Come on. come on.
168
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,236
He's not a lunatic?
169
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,405
Come on! Don't touch me!
You mother...
170
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,142
Hi, everybody. This is Eddie,
my new best friend.
171
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,178
Eddie, this is Teddy
and Phil and Tim.
172
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,612
Tim!
173
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,581
I appreciate it,
but we gotta go.
174
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,551
My car's out front.
Come on, let's go.
175
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:28,221
Oh, Eddie says we have to go now,
so I better get going.
176
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,157
So long, everybody.
Goodbye, nurse.
177
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,424
Goodbye, George.
178
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,427
If you require anything,
don't hesitate to call.
179
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,563
Write me!
180
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,908
I can't tell you
how wonderful it feels
181
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,710
to be out on my own
again like this,
182
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,380
not that I feel sorry about all the time
I spent at the clinic,
183
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,249
'cause, believe you me,
they did me a world of good,
184
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:57,985
and I don't regret
any of that.
185
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,487
It was wonderful.
I wish I could tell you about that sometime,
186
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,223
but just reading articles
and seeing newspapers
187
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:06,559
and watching life and the world
and everything on television,
188
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,396
I'm just anxious
to be a part of it again.
189
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,966
I understand they put basil
on everything now.
190
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:18,005
I'm very fond of basil.
I think basil is an herb whose time has truly come.
191
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,807
I'm not letting you
talk at all.
192
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,543
It just occurred to me.
I'm hogging the whole conversation.
193
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,379
I don't give you a chance
to get in there at all.
194
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,281
Jabber, jabber,
jabber, jabber!
195
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,518
Because I'm trying to make a good impression on you.
Sometimes I do that.
196
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,955
Whenever I want to make a good impression,
I talk and talk and jabber, jabber, jabber.
197
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,723
Shut the fuck up!
198
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,891
Sorry.
199
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,359
200
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,829
There it is.
201
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,198
What?
The museum.
202
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,801
Oh, Eddie,
this is gonna be fun.
203
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:51,071
You're gonna have a good day
and take care of your life.
204
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,241
Aren't you coming with me?
205
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:58,678
Hey, I'd love to come
with you, but I got a church-group thing.
206
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,614
Eddie, you can't
just leave me here.
207
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,852
Oh, please.
Eddie, I circled the want ads.
208
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,821
I thought you were gonna help me find...
Culture. There it is.
209
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,622
Cultures all you want,
right there.
210
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,092
211
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,229
Eddie, I haven't been on my own for over
three and a half years.
212
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:20,300
You're not alone. They got everything in there
from Dolly Parton to the Pope.
213
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:25,805
Eddie, just give me a minute
to get used to the idea, okay?
214
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:28,942
Ready?
215
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,282
No. no, I'm terrified.
216
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,185
Don't be terrified.
Hey, George!
217
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,121
You got any money?
218
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,589
Yeah, I'm okay for money.
219
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,958
Well, give me $50,
and I'll go in with you.
220
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,726
Oh, sure.
221
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,128
Hey, me and you.
222
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,897
Oh, I don't like it
here, Eddie.
223
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,331
Can we get out
of here, please?
224
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,565
Did they only
give you 50 bucks?
225
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,701
No, they...
Hi. How you doin'?
226
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,137
227
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,774
George! George!
228
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:05,478
Damn you! You see what
you did to my friend, you big green fuck!
229
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,024
Oh, gosh.
230
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,960
My cigar! You killed my cigar.
I'm so sorry.
231
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,762
Here, let me...
Let me help you.
232
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,864
You broke my cigar!
I'm so sorry.
233
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,200
It was all my fault.
I shouldn't have been running.
234
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,368
Abe!
235
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,237
It's you!
236
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,438
I'm not Abe.
237
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,873
What do you do?
Disappear off the face of the Earth
238
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,708
and then come back
to kill me, Abe?
239
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,011
No, you're mistaking me
for someone named Abe.
240
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,580
Because of the hat?
No, but I'm not Abe.
241
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:44,384
You're not Abe Fielding?
What, is this a joke? Are you joking me?
242
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:48,288
No, I'm not joking at all.
I think maybe you had a bad fall, though.
243
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,892
Oh, shit!
244
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,529
You know, Abe,
a lot of people would say
245
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,466
it is very rude
to bet thousands of dollars
246
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,534
and then skip town
without a trace.
247
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,371
You're making a mistake.
248
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,473
Hey, I got some of it.
What is that?
249
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,475
The payoff for the bet.
What bet?
250
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,643
You won the bet.
Dallas won.
No, no, no.
251
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,646
I'm not Abe. Abe won a bet from you.
Here, take it.
252
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,847
I'm in the clergy.
253
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,984
Oh, really? What church?
254
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,151
Come on.
255
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,453
You want to give it to someone
named Abe. I'm not Abe.
256
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,854
Holy shit!
257
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,024
That's what I thought.
258
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,659
Take it. Come on.
You think it's me, but I can't take that money.
259
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,062
Abe! Abe!
260
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,965
Eddie! Eddie! This is my best friend.
He'll tell you.
261
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,701
You want to know anything
about Abe, you ask me.
262
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,103
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
263
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,538
Abe and I are best friends.
264
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:39,839
Not Abe Fielding.
265
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,210
Big joke on me, right?
8:00, Shorefront Cafe.
266
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,677
I'll have the rest
of your money.
267
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,146
Abe will be there.
268
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:49,316
Eddie, I think he's making a terrible mistake.
He might have a concussion.
269
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,817
I hope he has it tonight.
270
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,119
Oh, gosh.
271
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,801
I don't want to do this.I don't want to do this.
Idon't want to do this, Eddie.
272
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,570
The guy wants
to give you money.
273
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,672
No, he wants to give
Abe Fielding money.
274
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,708
I'm doing all this for you.
What are you doing for me?
275
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:19,046
Yeah, but you want me to lie.
That's the worst thing I could possibly do.
276
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:22,449
What good is telling the truth all the time
if you got nothing to say?
277
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,152
I have things to say.
Yeah, about basil.
278
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,887
I know I'm not the most dynamic person
in the world, but...
279
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,622
My ass is more
dynamic, okay?
280
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:30,657
281
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:36,196
You see, you just be quiet.
Let me do all the talking.
282
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,198
That way, you ain't lying.
283
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,633
I'd be more comfortable
like that.
284
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:47,240
Monsieur Fielding. How good it is to see you!
It has been too long.
285
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,242
Yeah, it's been too long
since he's eaten.
286
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,611
I'll move some people.
287
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:52,779
You a twin or something?
288
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,247
No.
289
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,549
Mr. Fielding, how nice
to see you again.
290
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,385
May I take your hat?
291
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,190
How nice.
292
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,427
Mr. Fielding,
long time no see.
293
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,131
You can
at least say hello.
294
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,599
I don't want
to lie, Eddie.
295
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,267
"Hello" is not a lie.
296
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,769
You don't want
to be around
when I start lying.
297
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,606
All hell breaks loose.
Believe me.
298
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,608
I become another person.
299
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,844
When I start to lie,
even I don't know who I am.
300
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,580
Monsieur Fielding,
how are you this evening?
301
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:33,320
Well if I
were Mr. Fielding,
302
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,955
I guess you could say
I was fine.
303
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,957
Very good, sir.
304
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,227
This way,
sir, please.
Okay.
305
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,961
May I bring the usual?
306
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:45,798
Two usuals.
We're expecting a friend.
307
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,967
A fat guy.
He's kind of ugly,
308
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,602
and he owes us
a lot of money.
309
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,838
I think he's waiting
at the bar.
310
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,441
Thank you.
311
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,444
Eddie...
312
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,479
313
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:02,315
Eddie, we have to get
out of here. This is crazy.
314
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:05,285
You think I'm doing this
for me? Don't make me laugh.
315
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:09,322
I'm doing it for Mom.
You know, my mother.
316
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,458
Wish I had a picture
to show you.
317
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,960
She's got what they call
a heart thing.
318
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,463
The doctors call it
a bum heart.
319
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:20,333
I was gonna use the money
that we get to get it fixed.
320
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,370
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'd like to help you out.
321
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,239
You know, Eddie,
I told you, I mustn't lie.
322
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:30,477
Okay, forget I asked you.
Just forget it.
323
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,546
You can send her some flowers
when she's in the hospital,
324
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,449
a nice note saying,
"Die, bitch."
325
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:40,520
Abe, babe, how are you?
I didn't know you were bringing a friend.
326
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,222
I'm Al Sandrow.
Hi.
327
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:47,894
So, not that it's
any of my business, Abe,
328
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,763
where does a guy like you
disappear to for five months?
329
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,666
It's kind of a long story, Al.
330
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,235
I'm asking Abe.
331
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,641
Something wrong, Abe?
332
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,711
He's worried about my mother.
Mama's at death's door.
333
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,914
Listen, shithead,
nobody's talking to you, okay?
334
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,450
Eddie, Eddie...
335
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,151
I was just trying
to tell you...
336
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:15,755
Don't tell me nothing!
I'm asking Abe!
337
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,024
I don't like this, Eddie.
It's not polite.
338
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,527
Maybe he can't talk
about it, but I can.
339
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,463
Butt out, shithead!
I'm talking to Abe!
340
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,399
I don't like it when you
call my friend a shithead,
341
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:30,370
and if you do it one more time, I'll cut
your fucking balls off...
342
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,472
Ow.
...which is something
I'm very good at.
343
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,041
Okay?
Yeah, sure, Abe.
344
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,743
Say, "Okay."
Okay.
345
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,312
Okay?
Okay! Okay! Okay!
346
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,484
347
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,688
You trying to tell me something?
No, no, no!
348
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,357
Okay, okay, Abe!
349
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,526
I don't want
to sound unreasonable.
350
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,863
I know you came for giving us
thousands of dollars.
351
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,299
Listen to me...
But...
352
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,000
See, when I...
But!
353
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,604
Don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
354
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:05,805
Okay!
355
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,375
Now you can talk!
356
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,510
"Shithead" is okay.
I can live with that.
357
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:14,581
Do you have any idea
what this man has done for me, huh?
358
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,915
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.
359
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,850
It was nothing.
I haven't done anything.
360
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,820
Nothing? Pulling me out
of that explosion was nothing?
361
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:21,888
What explosion?
362
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,557
In the lift at Lady Tushingham's.
363
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:27,059
Look at him.
Look what it did to his brain.
364
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,161
You see that?
Look at this.
365
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,998
Hello? Anybody home?
366
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,904
Don't worry. He's got
a titanium plate in there. Ow.
367
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:40,573
When I hit him on the head,
that actually feels good.
368
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,008
What the fuck?
369
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,310
370
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,647
Just don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
371
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,115
Sure. Okay.
372
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,751
Okay with you, Al?
Okay with Al.
373
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,687
Maybe I had you pegged wrong,
but don't ever call him...
374
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,458
Okay.
375
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,794
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
376
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,963
So, what happened in the lift?
377
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,197
What's a lift?
378
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:08,568
What happened in the lift?
Lady Tushingham, you mean?
379
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,737
Yeah.
I'm glad you asked.
380
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,573
This is a wonderful story, Al.
381
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,943
I can't wait to tell you.
382
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,946
There we were, Eddie and me,
in England, mind you,
383
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,814
at this really
swellegant party.
384
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,784
Lords, ladies,
everything, and, uh...
385
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,153
It's not far from
Buckingham Palace,by the way.
386
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:30,189
And Lady Tushingham
walks up to me and says,
387
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,394
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
388
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,801
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
389
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,870
You say it.
390
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,939
"I challenge you
to pull this finger."
391
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,711
You're gonna
love this story.
392
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:52,845
Yeah.
393
00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:57,817
So what are you gonna do?
What do you figure?
394
00:21:57,850 --> 00:22:01,153
What could happen, right?
So I pull her finger.
395
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,155
Well, she cuts one.
396
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,325
Whew.
Whew.
397
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:10,763
A rocket to Mars
doesn't have this kind of thrust!
398
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:14,467
And her husband, Lord Tushingham, was trying to
light his cigar next to her.
399
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,537
Ka-boom!
The place went crazy!
400
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:19,672
They weren't calling you
shithead then, were they?
401
00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:22,409
Then? They probably were.
402
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:24,611
Like, if you were
to call me shithead...No, no, no.
403
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:28,781
...and give me some money,
say, "Abe won this.Here, shithead,"
404
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:31,050
you know, I'd say,
"Thank you, Al."
405
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:35,788
Abe? Abe, where the hell
have you been?
406
00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:38,958
Where have I been? Where the hell have you been?
That's the question!
407
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,393
Honey, Abe!
408
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,929
Oh, my god!
409
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:46,899
Hey, get your ass over here!
Give me a wet one!
410
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,267
Hello, luscious!
411
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:52,705
Hey, you, too. Eddie, Al, this is
Fred and Ethel Mertz!
412
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:54,306
Oh, god!
413
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,242
Sit down! Get a load
off your feet!
414
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:59,512
Bartender, some drinks over here when you
get a chance,for my friends, please?
415
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:02,915
Were you expecting somebody else?
We were expecting you!
416
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:06,919
He wanted to start, I said, "No, we're waiting
till you guys arrive."
417
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:10,823
So what did we hear?
You were in South America?
418
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,291
El Salvador.
419
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:15,294
El Salvador? Oh, my god!
What were you doing there?
420
00:23:15,327 --> 00:23:19,031
Dropping live oxen from 30,000 feet
on the guerrilla forces.
421
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,332
No.
Yeah.
422
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:22,735
Live oxen?
That's right. Yeah, yeah.
423
00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:24,003
Why live oxen?
424
00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:27,006
Because it hurts like hell
when they land on you!
425
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:34,013
He was just kidding about dropping the oxen
from 30,000 feet.
426
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,748
Oh, sure,
427
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:40,553
as if you weren't right there with me in
the cockpit when the missile went through.
428
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:44,457
Oh, I forgot.
It slipped my mind.
429
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:47,393
I can never tell
when you're serious, Abe.
430
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:57,003
I'm in a plane
with a dead pilot,
431
00:23:57,036 --> 00:24:00,372
and the cockpit thermometer
says 30,000 feet,
432
00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:02,709
and you think
I'm making jokes?
433
00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:08,715
What the hell's the matter
with this guy? Is he pulling my leg?
434
00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:09,782
No.
435
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:24,463
So what happened
to Lady Tushingham?
436
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:26,966
Fuck Lady Tushingham!
437
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,002
What's the matter with you?
I'm telling you the real stuff!
438
00:24:30,036 --> 00:24:32,805
40,000 feet, a terrorist
bursts through the door,
439
00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:37,510
puts a gun to my head
and he says, "Amigo, apague el fuego.
440
00:24:37,544 --> 00:24:40,647
"O si no, matale
en el toileto!"
441
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,349
How do you
like that, Al?
442
00:24:43,382 --> 00:24:44,651
Holy shit.
443
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:47,053
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
444
00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:49,155
Yeah.
445
00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:51,423
Jesus!
446
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:02,434
447
00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:28,961
What was I
supposed to do?
448
00:25:28,995 --> 00:25:30,930
Then they pull out
their knives...No!
449
00:25:30,963 --> 00:25:32,464
...and they started
swearing at us.
450
00:25:32,498 --> 00:25:33,800
We didn't know what
they were talking about.
451
00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:35,802
And Eddie says,
"Talk English."
452
00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:38,504
That's right. I mean,
good thing we didn't know the language.
453
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,807
"You don't talk English,
we're going home."
454
00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:43,409
Mr. Fielding!
455
00:25:43,442 --> 00:25:45,011
Mr. Fielding!
That really is an amazing story.
456
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,146
You know what we talked
about in the interim? You forgot your hat.
457
00:25:47,179 --> 00:25:50,617
We talked about the money
that Al owed Abe. Thank you.
458
00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:52,985
You know what I mean?
Yeah?
459
00:25:53,019 --> 00:25:54,687
Right? Didn't we
talk about that?
460
00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:59,759
Yeah, we were talking about all the
money that maybe Abe won gambling,
461
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:02,028
you know,
from this fat man.
462
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,362
I'm not the fat man
463
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,464
like you're not
the shithead, okay?
464
00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:07,333
Hey, I'm not trying
to be offensive,
465
00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:08,935
but you're right,
I'm not a shithead,
466
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:10,737
but you're
definitely pudgy.
Eddie?
467
00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:13,372
What?
Al's a little sensitive
about his tummy.
468
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,574
His tummy? It's been 20 years
since he had a tummy.
469
00:26:15,608 --> 00:26:16,843
Oh, my God.
470
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,010
471
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:29,221
It's ruined.
472
00:26:31,958 --> 00:26:33,660
Abe, it's your wife.
473
00:26:33,693 --> 00:26:34,894
My what?
474
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:38,597
You're right.
It's Elaine!
475
00:26:38,631 --> 00:26:40,166
Eddie, I'm married.
476
00:26:40,199 --> 00:26:41,734
Congratulations.
477
00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:43,502
What am I gonna do?
478
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,838
You son of a bitch.
479
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,575
Hello, darling.
480
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,577
You are not my husband.
481
00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:53,846
I think I could explain...
482
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,516
You are
an inconsiderate child.
483
00:26:57,549 --> 00:27:01,020
You are an insect.
You are a piece of dust.
484
00:27:01,053 --> 00:27:05,157
How dare you humiliate me this way
in front of our friends?
485
00:27:05,191 --> 00:27:07,259
I'm really very
disappointed in you, Gail.
486
00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:09,161
You could've told me
he was back.
487
00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:11,063
I didn't even know
he was gone.
488
00:27:11,097 --> 00:27:13,499
Oh, like hell you didn't.
489
00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:15,702
What have you got
to say for yourself?
490
00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:17,269
I missed you, dear.
491
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:18,838
Come on.
Where are we going?
492
00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:20,339
You've got some
explaining to do.
493
00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:22,341
EDDIE: Abe, the money.
494
00:27:34,053 --> 00:27:36,388
You're the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
495
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:39,892
I cannot think of a single reason for us
to stay together, not one.
496
00:27:39,926 --> 00:27:42,895
Well, I can think of one
pretty darn good reason.
497
00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:44,864
How about the kids, huh?
498
00:27:44,897 --> 00:27:46,198
I mean,
is it fair to them
499
00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:48,901
to make them
the innocent victims of this?
500
00:27:48,935 --> 00:27:50,369
What kids?
501
00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:52,138
We don't have kids?
502
00:27:52,905 --> 00:27:54,073
Bear with me.
503
00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:57,309
I'm a little...I had a cocktail
at the restaurant.
504
00:27:57,343 --> 00:28:00,412
Oh, you are really starting
to drive me crazy.
505
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:04,083
Honestly, dear,I think that you've made
an awfully big mistake.
506
00:28:04,116 --> 00:28:06,452
The big mistake
was marrying you.
507
00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:08,220
No, I mean a mistake
that you think
508
00:28:08,254 --> 00:28:11,257
I'm someone else
than who I really am.
509
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:13,860
What you are
is a lying bastard.
510
00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:16,428
Get your hand
off my knee.
511
00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:18,497
I don't think I lie
that much anymore.
512
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,066
Well, I lied
a little bit tonight,
513
00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:21,834
but I was under
a lot of pressure,
514
00:28:21,868 --> 00:28:24,403
considering this was
my first night out.
515
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:26,672
Otherwise,I think I've made
a lot of progress.
516
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,007
I really do.
517
00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:31,010
Just what did you
catch this time?
518
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,045
I didn't catch anything.
519
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,881
You went fishing
for five months,
520
00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:36,983
and you didn't
catch anything?
521
00:28:37,016 --> 00:28:38,785
I guess I used
the wrong bait.
522
00:28:38,818 --> 00:28:40,486
"Used the wrong bait."
523
00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:43,122
Will you please not
insult my intelligence?
524
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:46,658
I happen to know you were
with Angela Davenport the entire time.
525
00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:48,227
Will you close
the door, please?
526
00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:53,699
And don't deny it.
527
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:57,469
Don't even try because I got it right
from the horse's mouth.
528
00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:58,871
You mean,
Angela told you?
529
00:28:58,905 --> 00:29:01,373
No, Angela's husband
told me.
530
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:03,109
Oh, gee.
531
00:29:03,142 --> 00:29:06,712
What on Earth have you got
in that foolish-looking little bag?
532
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,647
My raincoat
and rubbers.
533
00:29:10,349 --> 00:29:12,418
He also told me
that when he found you,
534
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:16,255
he was going to cut you up
into infinitesimally small pieces.
535
00:29:16,288 --> 00:29:18,257
Too bad he was bluffing.
536
00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:24,630
I've been murdered.
537
00:29:28,734 --> 00:29:30,402
Oh, my God.
538
00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:33,672
539
00:29:35,074 --> 00:29:38,710
A little doggy.
Cute little doggy. Oh.
540
00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:41,247
Nice doggy. Nice doggy.
541
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,849
542
00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:46,285
Yes, sit. Good boy.
Oh, oh, oh.
543
00:29:47,053 --> 00:29:48,620
Be a good boy.
544
00:29:48,654 --> 00:29:54,026
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Nice doggy. Nice doggy. Nice doggy.
545
00:29:54,827 --> 00:29:57,763
Ooh. Elaine? Elaine?
546
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,301
Elaine?
547
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:04,003
Oh, Mrs...
548
00:30:04,036 --> 00:30:07,239
Good boy! Sit! Sit! Sit!
Be a good doggy.
549
00:30:07,273 --> 00:30:08,440
550
00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:10,276
Elaine, I have
to tell you something.
551
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:11,844
I think something terrible
may have happened.
552
00:30:11,878 --> 00:30:13,012
What?
553
00:30:13,045 --> 00:30:14,146
I'm, uh...
554
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:15,781
What?
555
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:17,850
I have to... I have to...
556
00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:19,618
What?
557
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,120
I have to... I have to...
558
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:22,221
What?
559
00:30:22,254 --> 00:30:23,555
I have to... I have to...
560
00:30:23,589 --> 00:30:25,291
What?
561
00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:27,693
I'm on her breast
to tell you the tittie hooth.
562
00:30:27,726 --> 00:30:31,263
Angela didn't forewarn you
about her implants, did she?
563
00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:33,866
Honest truth.
564
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:37,603
Did you find out in bed,
or did they rattle when you danced?
565
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:44,476
You know, it's very difficult for me
to be honest with you
566
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:46,278
at a time like this.
567
00:30:48,814 --> 00:30:50,616
Give it a whirl, Abe.
568
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:54,954
Well, I like...
I want to...
569
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:56,822
I want to...
570
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,324
You want to say
something to me?
571
00:30:58,357 --> 00:30:59,691
Yes, I do,
572
00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:02,261
and I want to be
completely honest and get this off your chest.
573
00:31:02,294 --> 00:31:04,030
I mean, get this
on your breast.
574
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,697
I mean, my breast.
575
00:31:05,731 --> 00:31:07,866
Get this off my chest.
576
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,336
Give it a try.
Give it your best shot.
577
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,504
The truth, Abe.
Let's hear it.
578
00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:17,043
Elaine, I am not your husband.
579
00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:19,178
I'm a Volvo salesman.
580
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:20,679
581
00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:32,791
You are really beginning
to fray the edges of my patience, Abe.
582
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,103
I've never...
I've never been to Yosemite.
583
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,811
584
00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:14,466
Oh, man.
585
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:17,003
He done landed in tall cotton!
586
00:32:17,036 --> 00:32:21,007
Hey, baby!
Holy shit, this is great!
587
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,010
They don't have this much
acreage in the projects.
588
00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:44,896
Oh, man!
Are you kidding me?
589
00:32:46,999 --> 00:32:49,168
Holy shit! Wait!
590
00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:51,903
Huh? Kiss my ass!
591
00:33:02,081 --> 00:33:03,649
Coochie-coochie?
592
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,153
Come here, little puppy.
593
00:33:08,254 --> 00:33:10,189
Come here. Suck your dick.
594
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:14,326
All right. Whoa. whoa.
595
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,695
Is this 1145 Stoneridge?
596
00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:20,499
Got some candy for you.
Goddamn it, you bit my...
597
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:23,702
Nice baby. Good fellow.
598
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,174
Hey, Abe!
599
00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:30,776
Jesus. Abe!
600
00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,379
Holy shit.
601
00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:34,646
Abe! Whoa.
602
00:33:35,981 --> 00:33:37,183
Abe?
603
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:41,820
Abe!
604
00:33:43,255 --> 00:33:45,324
How you doin', Abe?
605
00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:47,759
What, you eatin' breakfast?
606
00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:49,361
Hey, another chair?
607
00:33:49,395 --> 00:33:51,963
Abe, this yours?
Is it?
608
00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:56,768
You don't need this, Abe.
609
00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:58,937
Hey!
610
00:34:03,175 --> 00:34:05,644
Uh-oh! Abe!
611
00:34:13,352 --> 00:34:14,453
Abe?
612
00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:18,824
Abe!
613
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:21,160
Eddie.
Yo, Abe.
614
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:22,461
Eddie, I knew
you'd find me.
615
00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:23,862
I knew you'd find me.
Don't touch me, Abe.
616
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,064
Don't touch me. Come on. Just a little.
Just let me hold your hand.
617
00:34:26,098 --> 00:34:28,467
No, just...
Hey, don't touch me!
618
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:29,935
How did you find me?
619
00:34:29,968 --> 00:34:32,471
It's not hard. You're in the phone book,
listed under "Abe Fielding."
620
00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:33,572
That was smart.
Hey.
621
00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:34,840
Okay, okay!
622
00:34:34,873 --> 00:34:36,074
Can I call you Abe?
623
00:34:36,108 --> 00:34:38,310
You know my name
is George.
624
00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:40,112
George, right.
Your name is George.
625
00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:41,813
I don't know why you make such a big deal
about a little touching.
626
00:34:41,847 --> 00:34:45,684
Yo, Abe... I mean, George,
how many acres we got here?
627
00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:46,785
None.
628
00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:48,987
None? Looks like
more than that to me.
629
00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:51,056
That's because you think
I'm Abe Fielding,
630
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:54,326
but I'm not, Eddie.
I don't even know Abe Fielding,
631
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,761
but I think I know
what happened to him.
632
00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:58,897
I think he was cut up
into little pieces by somebody's jealous husband.
633
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:00,699
What the hell
are you talking about?
634
00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:04,035
You don't believe me.
I'm not Abe Fielding.
635
00:35:04,069 --> 00:35:06,372
Hey, man, you're
at the Pearly Gates. Don't choose hell.
636
00:35:06,405 --> 00:35:07,773
What are you gonna say?
637
00:35:07,806 --> 00:35:09,408
I'll say that I don't
have a place to stay.
638
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:10,909
I'd like to stay
with you for a while.
639
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:13,512
Why don't you ask her
for me, okay, pal?
640
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:14,980
Hello, dear.
641
00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:17,416
Mrs... Honeybun?
642
00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:18,717
Yes?
643
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:22,087
Uh, Eddie wants to know
if he can live with us for a while.
644
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,957
You know, just for a little while
until my mom gets better.
645
00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:27,759
A couple years, tops.
646
00:35:30,396 --> 00:35:32,130
No.
647
00:35:32,164 --> 00:35:35,033
No? What do you mean, no?
Come on, peaches.
648
00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,135
"Peaches"?
Yeah,
649
00:35:37,169 --> 00:35:40,372
I mean, Abe has something to say.
Just hear the man out.
650
00:35:40,406 --> 00:35:43,442
All right, what is it?
651
00:35:47,446 --> 00:35:50,682
Well, you know, Elaine,
652
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:52,384
Eddie isn't
who you think he is.
653
00:35:53,018 --> 00:35:55,754
No? Who is he?
654
00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:59,758
Did you ever hear of a prize fighter
by the name of Joe Frazier?
655
00:36:01,092 --> 00:36:03,362
You mean,
the Thriller from Manila?
656
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:05,897
That's it!
The Thriller from Manila.
657
00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:07,333
Oh.
658
00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:08,467
You know, right after
that fight with Ali,
659
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,135
when they were both
in the Philippines,
660
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:13,539
Joe Frazier got malaria,
and he lost a lot of weight.
661
00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:16,242
662
00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:20,312
I mean, a lot of weight.
Even shrunk a little bit.
663
00:36:20,346 --> 00:36:23,915
And after they got it
under control,
664
00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:27,152
even then he thought,
well, if anyone ever saw him like that,
665
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,955
you know, his career as a prize fighter
would be finished.
666
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,123
No one would ever
give him a shot at the title.
667
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,827
So he decided he better
change his name
668
00:36:35,861 --> 00:36:37,363
and his identity
for a little while,
669
00:36:37,396 --> 00:36:40,499
just till he could
sort of work his way back into shape.
670
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,968
It's been a rough road back,
right, champ?
671
00:36:43,001 --> 00:36:44,836
Hey, I'm not complaining.
You know what I mean?
672
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,838
I just want another crack
at the title.
673
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:49,841
That's it. Save 'em.
Save 'em, pal.
674
00:36:49,875 --> 00:36:53,412
I'm gonna help you, Joe.
I mean, Eddie.
675
00:36:53,445 --> 00:36:56,282
Sorry, champ.
I won't slip again.
676
00:36:56,315 --> 00:36:59,184
You know...
You know, Elaine,
677
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:00,619
he's the best friend
I've got.
678
00:37:00,652 --> 00:37:02,288
He just needs a place
where he can,
679
00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:03,655
680
00:37:03,689 --> 00:37:06,492
you know, lick his wounds
for a while, and...
681
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:11,597
And put about, maybe,
50, 60 pounds back on.
682
00:37:20,506 --> 00:37:22,808
That is an amazing story.
683
00:37:22,841 --> 00:37:24,109
Thanks.
684
00:37:24,142 --> 00:37:25,944
I was very rude to you
a minute ago.
685
00:37:25,977 --> 00:37:28,380
I'm awfully sorry.
686
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:30,749
I want you to stay.
Really, please do.
687
00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,718
I feel so exposed.
688
00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:36,388
Please, let me see if I can get
the guest bedroom made up.
689
00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:40,225
I'll be right back.
690
00:37:44,296 --> 00:37:45,964
Aw, shit, man.
691
00:37:48,066 --> 00:37:53,038
Hey, before I met you, the term
"bullshit artist"was an empty phrase,
692
00:37:53,071 --> 00:37:57,008
but working with you
has made me a better liar.
693
00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,412
You're just describing
everything I don't want to be.
694
00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:14,593
695
00:38:15,226 --> 00:38:16,995
Look at this.
696
00:38:17,896 --> 00:38:20,399
It's a Rolex.
This is money.
697
00:38:21,567 --> 00:38:24,470
Jeez. Gold rings. My God...
698
00:38:25,371 --> 00:38:27,639
Eddie, what are you
doing in here?
699
00:38:27,673 --> 00:38:29,775
You said you were going to take
a little walk outside.
700
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,410
I was looking
all over for you.
701
00:38:31,443 --> 00:38:34,145
I was looking around
at some of Fielding's stuff.
702
00:38:34,179 --> 00:38:36,682
I was doing
a little research.
You know what I mean?
703
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:40,318
Like this pipe.
You put this pipe in your mouth,
704
00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:42,220
and you'll feel
like Fielding.
705
00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:44,823
Then a dash
of his cologne. Mmm!
706
00:38:44,856 --> 00:38:46,858
Put on some of this.
Smell like Abe.
707
00:38:46,892 --> 00:38:48,494
Before you do the thing,
you know?
708
00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:50,028
Before I do what thing?
709
00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:53,632
Hey, the woman hasn't seen you in five months.
She's expecting something.
710
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:56,101
You got to give her
some of what she expects,you know?
711
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:57,736
A little padumph, padumph.
712
00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:00,406
Eddie, I...
713
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:02,574
I can't do padumph with...
714
00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:05,076
That would be under false pretenses.
715
00:39:05,110 --> 00:39:07,846
What false pretenses?
She probably thinks you're her husband.
716
00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:09,848
She'll turn the TV on.
717
00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:12,317
718
00:39:17,255 --> 00:39:19,324
What are you gonna say
to the lady?
719
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:23,429
Well, I would say,
"Oh, gosh, Elaine,
720
00:39:23,462 --> 00:39:24,530
"you look
just lovely tonight."
721
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:26,064
No, no, wait. Whoa.
You're not gonna say that.
722
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:28,033
That's the kind of thing
Boy Scouts say on a trip
723
00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:30,001
when they're trying to sell cookies.
But I don't wanna be...
724
00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,169
I'm not going to be
crude, Eddie.
725
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,904
Nobody's talking crude.
726
00:39:32,938 --> 00:39:37,409
I'm talking, be suave, debonair.
You gotta be Cary Grant.
727
00:39:37,443 --> 00:39:38,910
Cary Grant?
728
00:39:38,944 --> 00:39:40,879
Yeah, what do you think? Cary Grant on
a date, he wants to do the thing
729
00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:43,248
and he says to the lady...
730
00:39:43,281 --> 00:39:44,916
No, no, I hope not.
731
00:39:44,950 --> 00:39:47,052
No, Cary Grant's
smooth, debonair.
732
00:39:47,085 --> 00:39:50,088
He says something like,
"Judy, Judy, Judy,
733
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:51,990
"you want
to padumph, padumph?"
734
00:39:52,023 --> 00:39:53,291
That's what
he would say?
735
00:39:53,324 --> 00:39:55,093
Hey, either that or,
"You want to fuck?"
736
00:39:55,126 --> 00:39:56,662
No.
737
00:39:56,695 --> 00:39:59,531
I'm a dipper from way back.
738
00:39:59,565 --> 00:40:00,699
This is your night.
739
00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,033
I don't think
I can do it.
740
00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:03,435
Come here a sec.
This is gonna be it.
741
00:40:03,469 --> 00:40:04,936
I'm a little nervous.
742
00:40:04,970 --> 00:40:06,905
You go in there. This woman
has a thing for you. I saw it in her eyes.
743
00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,039
Yeah?
744
00:40:08,073 --> 00:40:10,241
Put some of this on.
There you go.
745
00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:11,677
Not bad, is it?
746
00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:12,811
747
00:40:12,844 --> 00:40:16,848
Now look, you go in there,
and you think Cary Grant.
748
00:40:16,882 --> 00:40:17,983
Uh-huh.
749
00:40:18,016 --> 00:40:19,751
Come on.
Judy, Judy.
750
00:40:20,819 --> 00:40:23,421
Yes, sir.
Okay. Help me.
751
00:40:25,824 --> 00:40:29,260
That man couldn't get laid
in a woman's prison with a pound of pot.
752
00:40:29,294 --> 00:40:32,764
All right, girls.
Now, this is your last chance.
753
00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:37,302
If one piece of candy gets past you
and into the packing room unwrapped,
754
00:40:37,335 --> 00:40:38,804
you're fired.
755
00:40:39,805 --> 00:40:41,139
Let her roll!
756
00:40:41,172 --> 00:40:42,407
What are you doing?
757
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,943
Judy, Judy.
758
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:48,146
Could I interest you
in a little padumph, padumph?
759
00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:50,281
Who are you talking to?
760
00:40:52,417 --> 00:40:54,419
You.
761
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:57,956
I just wanted to know
if you'd like to have a little padumph.
762
00:40:57,989 --> 00:40:59,658
Padumph?
763
00:40:59,691 --> 00:41:01,960
Oh, gosh, Elaine.
764
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:04,362
Do you know how long it's been
since I've done the thing?
765
00:41:04,395 --> 00:41:06,031
Are you for real?
766
00:41:06,698 --> 00:41:07,899
You bet.
767
00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:10,468
768
00:41:11,436 --> 00:41:13,171
Who could that be?
769
00:41:14,606 --> 00:41:16,474
Look, Abe, there's a car
coming up the driveway.
770
00:41:16,508 --> 00:41:17,943
771
00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:21,580
I don't know who else but you
would come barreling up at this hour.
772
00:41:21,613 --> 00:41:23,248
My God, it must be Abe.
773
00:41:23,281 --> 00:41:26,885
Oh, will you please
not do that anymore?
774
00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:29,320
I'm sorry.
I mean, it must be me.
775
00:41:29,354 --> 00:41:30,856
776
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,028
Would you go down
and see who it is?
777
00:41:37,062 --> 00:41:38,530
I'll be down in a minute.
778
00:41:38,564 --> 00:41:39,665
Okay.
779
00:41:40,799 --> 00:41:42,167
780
00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:51,643
781
00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:53,311
Oh, hi!
782
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,446
Hey, there's someone
at the front door.
783
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,548
So?
784
00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:59,450
I'd like you
to come with me.
785
00:41:59,484 --> 00:42:00,518
786
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:02,588
What's all this stuff?
787
00:42:02,621 --> 00:42:04,956
It's the stuff that
I'm taking to get cleaned.
788
00:42:04,990 --> 00:42:07,793
Oh, yeah,
looks pretty dirty.
789
00:42:16,434 --> 00:42:18,303
790
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,142
I'd like you
to answer it, Eddie. Would you?
791
00:42:24,175 --> 00:42:26,111
Yeah, you're the maestro.
792
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:38,123
Well, if it ain't
Mr. Finger-on-the-bell.
793
00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:40,759
How dare you!
Open this door. Open it!
794
00:42:42,227 --> 00:42:43,762
Just who the hell are you?
795
00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:45,430
I demand to know,
and I mean now, mister.
796
00:42:45,463 --> 00:42:46,865
I mean, right now!
797
00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:48,066
Who the hell are you?
798
00:42:48,099 --> 00:42:50,769
Elaine?
Elaine, you all right?
799
00:42:50,802 --> 00:42:54,039
Hey, I'm Abe Fielding's
best friend, you asshole!
800
00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,173
801
00:42:55,206 --> 00:42:56,608
I mean, you think you
can just come in here
802
00:42:56,642 --> 00:42:57,843
and talk to me
like I'm shit?
803
00:42:57,876 --> 00:42:59,811
Oh, please, please.
You don't even know Abe Fielding.
804
00:42:59,845 --> 00:43:01,847
You wouldn't know Abe Fielding
if you were talking to him.
805
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,014
Wait a minute.
You Abe Fielding?
806
00:43:03,048 --> 00:43:04,783
No, I'm not. Elaine!
807
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:06,084
My name is Rupert Dibbs.
808
00:43:06,117 --> 00:43:08,086
I happen to run
Abe Fielding's business.
809
00:43:08,119 --> 00:43:10,188
Elaine!
Dibbsy!
810
00:43:10,622 --> 00:43:12,023
Abe? Abe!
811
00:43:12,057 --> 00:43:15,126
You old duffer!
How's the boy?
812
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,561
My God, you're back!
813
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:18,864
Long time no see, pal!
814
00:43:18,897 --> 00:43:21,667
Eddie, I bet you thought
that was Fielding for a while, didn't you?
815
00:43:21,700 --> 00:43:23,234
Well, it's kind
of dark in here.
816
00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:25,603
Eddie, you know how I knew
it wasn't Abe Fielding?
817
00:43:25,637 --> 00:43:26,672
No.
818
00:43:26,705 --> 00:43:28,674
'Cause I'm Abe Fielding!
819
00:43:28,707 --> 00:43:30,241
Oh.
Remember?
820
00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:31,843
Abe, how you doing,
you old duffer?
821
00:43:31,877 --> 00:43:33,879
Fine, fine!
822
00:43:33,912 --> 00:43:35,847
Hey, Dibbsy.
Give me a wet one.
823
00:43:35,881 --> 00:43:38,850
A what? Come on, come on, come on!
Come on, come on.
824
00:43:38,884 --> 00:43:40,585
You son of a gun!
825
00:43:40,618 --> 00:43:41,753
What, have you
lost your mind?
826
00:43:41,787 --> 00:43:43,121
Look at that tie.
Not even one...
827
00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:44,522
Beautiful bow tie...
Not even a phone call in five months?
828
00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:45,957
...like the old days.
829
00:43:45,991 --> 00:43:47,558
I'm not saying
you didn't deserve...Don't start lecturing me.
830
00:43:47,592 --> 00:43:49,294
No, no, no, no, everybody
deserves a vacation, but...
831
00:43:49,327 --> 00:43:50,461
No lectures, no lectures.
832
00:43:50,495 --> 00:43:52,097
Come on, come on...Everybody deserves
a vacation,
833
00:43:52,130 --> 00:43:53,231
but how am I supposed
to run a business...
834
00:43:53,264 --> 00:43:54,666
Let me see what
I can fix for you.
835
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,301
...without the occasional
phone call? Brandy still your drink?
836
00:43:56,334 --> 00:43:58,804
I don't drink. I still can't get
this guy to take a drink.
837
00:43:58,837 --> 00:44:00,571
By the way, this is
my best friend,Eddie Dash.
838
00:44:00,605 --> 00:44:01,907
Elaine.
No, Eddie.
839
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:03,842
Rupert, what are
you doing here?
840
00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:06,778
Um, I have some papers
that need power of attorney,
841
00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:08,980
but you're here, so maybe you can
sign them for me, Abe.
842
00:44:09,014 --> 00:44:10,115
Sure.
843
00:44:10,148 --> 00:44:11,249
Just need your signature.
844
00:44:11,282 --> 00:44:12,450
You want my Fielding
on that?
845
00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:13,785
I sure do.
You bet!
846
00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:15,153
I want it right there
and right there.
847
00:44:15,186 --> 00:44:16,888
Okey doke.
848
00:44:16,922 --> 00:44:19,157
How are you
fixed for cash? Cash?
849
00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,292
Oh, we're a little short.
"We"?
850
00:44:21,326 --> 00:44:23,294
Yeah, we got some things
to do downtown.
851
00:44:23,328 --> 00:44:25,130
Uh-huh. I understand.
852
00:44:26,597 --> 00:44:27,699
There you go.
853
00:44:27,733 --> 00:44:29,134
I think that should
take care of it.
854
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,568
855
00:44:30,601 --> 00:44:34,305
Uh, Abe, why don't you
tell the man about the credit card you lost?
856
00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:36,574
Uh-huh. Well...
Didn't you?
857
00:44:36,607 --> 00:44:37,843
Yeah, I don't know
what I did with them.
858
00:44:37,876 --> 00:44:39,544
This should
take care of that.
859
00:44:39,577 --> 00:44:40,712
Look at that!
860
00:44:40,746 --> 00:44:43,114
Dibbsy to the rescue.
Just like the old days, huh?
861
00:44:43,148 --> 00:44:44,215
What a guy.
862
00:44:44,249 --> 00:44:45,550
Oh, gosh, Abe,
you're lookin' in the pink.
863
00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:47,018
That's my color, pal.
864
00:44:47,052 --> 00:44:48,920
You back for a while
or you gonna be shipping out?
865
00:44:48,954 --> 00:44:51,456
Well, you better ask
the little lady about that. Okay.
866
00:44:51,489 --> 00:44:53,024
Gonna be sticking
around for a while.
867
00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:54,259
See that?
She's the boss.
868
00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:56,327
Credit cards. Money.
869
00:44:57,395 --> 00:44:58,930
Pussy.
870
00:44:58,964 --> 00:45:00,065
You bet your boots.
871
00:45:00,098 --> 00:45:01,900
Elaine, you look great.
872
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:03,769
I'll see you
soon, Abe. Yeah.
873
00:45:03,802 --> 00:45:05,470
Welcome home.
Nice to see you again.
874
00:45:05,503 --> 00:45:08,974
Uh, mister...It's been a pleasure.
Maybe I'll see you again.
875
00:45:09,007 --> 00:45:10,876
Hey, you can bank on it.
876
00:45:12,343 --> 00:45:14,012
Abe?
Hmm?
877
00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:16,514
Who is that bum?
Is he some fishing buddy?
878
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:17,849
I mean, why don't you
get rid of him?
879
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:19,584
You know, Dibbsy,
880
00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:23,621
you're my business manager,
and I respect you for that,
881
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:27,959
but don't ever call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
882
00:45:27,993 --> 00:45:29,527
I said no such...
Okay?
883
00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:33,865
Okay? Okay?
Okay, Dibbsy?
884
00:45:34,599 --> 00:45:35,733
Hmm?
Okay.
885
00:45:35,767 --> 00:45:37,168
Okay. Good night.
886
00:45:38,303 --> 00:45:39,604
See you soon.
887
00:45:41,139 --> 00:45:42,640
Hey, Dibbsy.
888
00:45:46,878 --> 00:45:48,446
Ready to turn in,
sweetheart?
889
00:45:48,479 --> 00:45:50,715
That was so rude.
890
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:52,283
What do you mean?
891
00:45:52,317 --> 00:45:55,686
I can't believe
you talked to Rupert that way.
892
00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:58,223
After everything
he's done for you.
893
00:45:58,256 --> 00:46:00,125
I wasn't rude
to him at all.
894
00:46:00,158 --> 00:46:01,426
I was trying...
Elaine!
895
00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:02,861
Please, stop.
Don't try and explain.
896
00:46:02,894 --> 00:46:05,563
I'm going to bed, alone.
897
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:06,932
898
00:46:06,965 --> 00:46:09,968
Eddie? Hey, Eddie?
899
00:46:14,672 --> 00:46:16,007
900
00:46:22,013 --> 00:46:23,014
Eddie!
901
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,422
Oh, my goodness!
902
00:46:31,456 --> 00:46:35,593
903
00:46:44,335 --> 00:46:45,636
What?
Elaine?
904
00:46:45,670 --> 00:46:48,406
What?
Can I say just one thing to you?
905
00:46:48,439 --> 00:46:50,842
What?
Goodbye forever, dear.
906
00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:59,417
What's going on? I can't stay in this house
alone with you, Elaine.
907
00:46:59,450 --> 00:47:01,319
I mustn't be
alone with you.
908
00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:03,421
Why? What's the problem?
Eddie's coming back.
909
00:47:03,454 --> 00:47:05,891
Look at me. I can't look at you.
If I do, I'm a goner.
910
00:47:05,924 --> 00:47:07,158
I'll never leave this house.
911
00:47:07,192 --> 00:47:09,794
You remind me so much of a girl
I was in love with once.
912
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:11,729
At least I thought I was in love with her
till I met you.
913
00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:16,201
I got her to love me by lying,
and I must not do that again!
914
00:47:16,234 --> 00:47:17,668
Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me! Look at me!
915
00:47:17,702 --> 00:47:19,170
Are you leaving me
for good?
916
00:47:19,204 --> 00:47:21,139
I'm not Abe!
I'm not married to you!
917
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:24,809
I'm George! I'm just a Volvo salesman
for Horst Mueller!
918
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,411
Look at me! Look at me!
919
00:47:26,444 --> 00:47:28,279
Oh, taxi! Taxi!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
920
00:47:28,313 --> 00:47:30,615
Just give me
a little kiss goodbye. A kiss?
921
00:47:30,648 --> 00:47:31,716
One little kiss.
922
00:47:38,056 --> 00:47:41,426
Taxi! Oh, taxi!
923
00:47:41,459 --> 00:47:44,229
What... Abe!
Where are the taxis?
924
00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:48,166
I tell you, George, if what you say is true,
I find that admirable.
925
00:47:48,199 --> 00:47:49,901
You were totally
honest with her.
926
00:47:49,935 --> 00:47:52,803
You left the woman you loved
rather than lie to her.
927
00:47:52,837 --> 00:47:54,572
How do you feel
about that, George?
928
00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:55,840
Who took my red?
929
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,208
George, I'm asking you...
930
00:47:57,242 --> 00:47:59,477
I'll answer you,
but who took my red?
931
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,513
Hey. Hey.
932
00:48:04,315 --> 00:48:06,317
I can't believe
I had the red
933
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:08,987
at the exact moment
that you wanted it.
934
00:48:10,221 --> 00:48:13,224
I should be stripped naked
and have scalding matzo-ball soup
935
00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:15,226
ladled over my genitals
by Dolly Parton.
936
00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:19,064
Phillip, put a clam on it!
I'll try.
937
00:48:19,097 --> 00:48:22,333
George, how does it feel
to be an honest person?
938
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:24,602
Where's my green?
939
00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:27,738
Did you pump up your mickey
before you showed it to her?
940
00:48:27,772 --> 00:48:31,476
Who has the green? You know, George, sometimes
a patient's first day
941
00:48:31,509 --> 00:48:33,144
away from the clinic
can be quite stressful.
942
00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:36,047
Is it possible
there was no Mrs. Fielding?
943
00:48:36,081 --> 00:48:37,648
Wait a minute!
944
00:48:37,682 --> 00:48:41,819
Maybe he is Abe Fielding,
and he was lying to us about that, too.
945
00:48:41,852 --> 00:48:46,057
What do you think?
Huh? Just a theory.
946
00:48:46,857 --> 00:48:49,360
Poor Miss Fielding.
947
00:48:49,394 --> 00:48:50,962
I bet she's crying
her eyes out.
948
00:48:57,202 --> 00:48:59,237
That's enough. Stop it.
949
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:03,674
Look, I'm not saying you don't have some
limited acting ability.
950
00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:06,077
Limited acting ability?
951
00:49:06,111 --> 00:49:08,646
Listen, bud,
these are real tears.
952
00:49:08,679 --> 00:49:10,481
What I am saying is,
when I hired you,
953
00:49:10,515 --> 00:49:12,850
you told me you were
a professional actress.
954
00:49:12,883 --> 00:49:14,552
I am, sort of.
955
00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:19,257
All right, I'm basically a vocalist,
but I am studying acting,
956
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:23,161
and I'm told by my teacher
I am remarkably naturalistic.
957
00:49:23,194 --> 00:49:26,564
Yes, well, that's not quite what you told me
two Abe Fieldings ago.
958
00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:29,900
Excuse me, they both believed
I was Mrs. Abe Fielding.
959
00:49:29,934 --> 00:49:34,239
Let me also add this.
I think my accent was impeccable.
960
00:49:34,272 --> 00:49:38,176
Despite your impeccable accent,
they both chose to leave.
961
00:49:38,209 --> 00:49:39,810
That's not my fault
as an actress.
962
00:49:39,844 --> 00:49:43,048
You can't just take any nut out of a sanitarium
and expect me to convince him
963
00:49:43,081 --> 00:49:45,250
he's Abe Fielding.
That was not the job!
964
00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:48,653
I don't care if they are convinced
that they're Abe Fielding.
965
00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:51,989
The job was simply
to entice them,
966
00:49:52,023 --> 00:49:55,193
to make them want
to be Abe Fielding,
967
00:49:55,226 --> 00:49:57,162
but these guys are running from you
like the plague.
968
00:49:57,195 --> 00:50:00,098
I will not be handled.
969
00:50:00,131 --> 00:50:02,933
I told you that when I took the job,
and it still goes.
970
00:50:02,967 --> 00:50:05,870
And if that's changed,
I don't want the job anyway.
971
00:50:05,903 --> 00:50:07,705
That is just fine.
That's fine!
972
00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:10,841
Give my regards to your friends down
at the unemployment office,
973
00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:13,544
Miss Mimi Kravetz,
professional actress.
974
00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:16,847
You're going to be spending
a lot of time with them!
975
00:50:18,916 --> 00:50:22,320
You know, you've got
an unerring instinct for the jugular.
976
00:50:22,353 --> 00:50:24,555
I'd like
that last Fielding back.
977
00:50:24,589 --> 00:50:27,358
Uh-huh. The liar.
A liar is perfect.
978
00:50:28,226 --> 00:50:30,027
No, no, not him.
979
00:50:30,061 --> 00:50:33,264
Come on,
I felt sorry for that guy.
980
00:50:33,298 --> 00:50:35,666
Why on Earth would you
feel sorry for him?
981
00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:37,668
Nothing bad's
gonna happen to him.
982
00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:39,137
Would you like a cappuccino?
983
00:50:39,170 --> 00:50:40,338
All right,
984
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:42,039
but, no,
not that poor chump.
985
00:50:42,073 --> 00:50:44,342
I think he was soft on me.
986
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:47,945
Why wouldn't he be soft on you?
You're a beautiful girl.
987
00:50:50,781 --> 00:50:52,049
Sit down.
988
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:56,421
Here.
989
00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:03,294
Look, what say you take another
crack at that role?
990
00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:05,963
He's not gonna come back
without his friend.
991
00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:09,134
Don't worry about him.
His friend is mine for bail money.
992
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:10,635
What do you mean?
He's in jail?
993
00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:12,002
I had him arrested.
994
00:51:12,036 --> 00:51:14,071
The schmuck stole
Abe's credit cards.
995
00:51:14,105 --> 00:51:18,576
Bail money? You want me
to work your little scam for bail money?
996
00:51:18,609 --> 00:51:22,513
Shh! Now, no one is trying
to get you to run anything.
997
00:51:22,547 --> 00:51:24,949
I just want you to bring your friend
back for one week.
998
00:51:24,982 --> 00:51:29,720
Unless you want to stay
in here, I suggest you do as I ask.
999
00:51:30,955 --> 00:51:34,225
Tell me, is this
a sink or a toilet?
1000
00:51:34,259 --> 00:51:36,026
Stick your head in it
and find out.
1001
00:51:36,060 --> 00:51:37,895
Let me explain
something to you.
1002
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:41,732
I don't work with amateurs,
like singers and actors.
1003
00:51:41,766 --> 00:51:44,735
There's only one singer involved in this,
and that's Mimi Kravetz.
1004
00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:48,406
The rest of these people
happen to be damn fine actors.
1005
00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:50,208
I cast them myself.
1006
00:51:50,241 --> 00:51:54,412
That's Jerome Handy
as Al, the bookie.
1007
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:59,484
You know him from... Did you
see his Man of La Mancha at the Pasadena Playhouse?
1008
00:51:59,517 --> 00:52:02,820
I'm afraid I missed that.
Well, it was super. Super.
1009
00:52:02,853 --> 00:52:06,123
You've never run a professional scam
in your life, have you?
1010
00:52:06,157 --> 00:52:09,927
No, of course not.
I'm a legitimate businessman.
1011
00:52:10,795 --> 00:52:12,430
I run Abe's business.
1012
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:13,831
I thought so.
1013
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:17,302
A professional
would never use amateurs.
1014
00:52:17,335 --> 00:52:18,936
They crack out of turn.
1015
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:20,771
"Crack out of turn."
I don't know what that means.
1016
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:25,210
It means that I'm a professional con man.
This is what I do for a living.
1017
00:52:26,277 --> 00:52:29,347
What you got here
is not a professional con.
1018
00:52:29,380 --> 00:52:33,684
What I got here
is 10,000 bucks.
1019
00:52:33,718 --> 00:52:37,188
It's for you if you
bring your friend back for one week.
1020
00:52:38,323 --> 00:52:39,490
1021
00:52:39,524 --> 00:52:41,158
You gotta tell me
more of the scam.
1022
00:52:41,192 --> 00:52:42,993
I will in due time.
1023
00:52:43,027 --> 00:52:44,762
Excuse me.
1024
00:52:44,795 --> 00:52:46,564
Oh, please.
1025
00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:51,936
Look, just take five grand now
as a down payment, okay?
1026
00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:55,340
I don't usually work
with amateurs,
1027
00:52:55,373 --> 00:52:59,677
but you've caught me
at the right time.
1028
00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:08,453
Wish me luck. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1029
00:53:08,486 --> 00:53:10,721
What's the matter?
Nothing's the matter.
1030
00:53:10,755 --> 00:53:13,458
I just gotta pave
the way for you. What do you mean?
1031
00:53:13,491 --> 00:53:16,427
I mean, I talked to her
doctor-psychiatrist person.
1032
00:53:16,461 --> 00:53:20,298
You gotta take it
slow and easy with this George shit.
1033
00:53:20,331 --> 00:53:22,467
She still thinks
you're Abe.
1034
00:53:23,568 --> 00:53:25,670
All right?
She's in denial.
1035
00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:29,807
She's got what they call,
medically speaking, a bum head.
1036
00:53:30,675 --> 00:53:32,243
Oh, dear.
1037
00:53:32,277 --> 00:53:35,480
After I talk to her,
you can come up and do your stuff.
1038
00:53:35,513 --> 00:53:38,383
Okay. Don't be long.
1039
00:53:42,953 --> 00:53:44,989
Hey, am I interrupting?
1040
00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:48,058
It's the Thriller from Manila.
1041
00:53:48,092 --> 00:53:49,994
That's me. The old...
1042
00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:54,198
Fourteen rounds, you know?
1043
00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:55,633
I was scared to go 15.
1044
00:53:55,666 --> 00:53:56,734
Oh, yeah.
1045
00:53:57,535 --> 00:53:58,969
Did Dibbs tell you I'm in?
1046
00:53:59,003 --> 00:54:00,638
Yeah, he told me.
1047
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:05,710
Uh, Seppo, could you
leave us for a minute?
1048
00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:08,078
Yeah, Seppo,
I'll take over from here.
1049
00:54:08,112 --> 00:54:10,315
What do you want?
1050
00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:15,019
I just want to tell you, I think the guy's
in love with you. He's downstairs.
1051
00:54:21,859 --> 00:54:24,495
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
1052
00:54:24,529 --> 00:54:26,664
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
1053
00:54:28,232 --> 00:54:32,503
Hey, Duane,
give the man a break. Come on!
1054
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:36,607
I'll let you hump my leg.
Come on, baby.
1055
00:54:36,641 --> 00:54:39,844
Hey, it's all right, George.
You can come out now.
1056
00:54:41,912 --> 00:54:43,681
Good boy. Good boy.
1057
00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:47,017
Hello, guess who's here?
1058
00:54:48,386 --> 00:54:51,422
Oh, honey, I'm home,
1059
00:54:52,256 --> 00:54:54,158
and I'm ready for love.
1060
00:54:54,725 --> 00:54:55,960
Oh, boy.
1061
00:54:56,727 --> 00:54:59,029
Honey, it's me.
1062
00:54:59,063 --> 00:55:01,298
Eddie, hiya.
1063
00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:04,402
Remember me from in the car downstairs
a little while ago?
1064
00:55:04,435 --> 00:55:06,971
I made a joke, Eddie.
1065
00:55:07,004 --> 00:55:08,539
Am I interrupting something?
1066
00:55:08,573 --> 00:55:11,609
No, we're just
talking and...Never mind.
1067
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:14,211
You two keep talking,
get together.
1068
00:55:14,244 --> 00:55:16,213
See you later, Eddie.
You're damn right.
1069
00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:18,082
Como esta,
mi chiquita caliente?
1070
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:20,751
Molto bueno.
1071
00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:25,756
So, long time no see.
What are you doing here?
1072
00:55:25,790 --> 00:55:28,693
I brought you some candy
and some flowers
1073
00:55:28,726 --> 00:55:31,261
and to tell you
that you and I had something, Elaine.
1074
00:55:31,295 --> 00:55:34,098
I saw it in your eyes last week,
and Eddie saw it, too.
1075
00:55:34,131 --> 00:55:37,267
So don't deny it. So what are you saying here,
that you'd like to stay?
1076
00:55:37,301 --> 00:55:40,438
Would I like to stay?
Would I like to stay here with you?
1077
00:55:40,471 --> 00:55:42,039
Are you kidding?
1078
00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:44,208
Whoa!
1079
00:55:44,241 --> 00:55:48,446
If I could stay here with you,
I would climb... I would...I would swim.
1080
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:52,783
I would make myself into a...I would stay
here forever if you'd let me, Elaine.
1081
00:55:52,817 --> 00:55:56,954
Let's just see if we can get along,
okay, doll? For, say, a week or so.
1082
00:55:56,987 --> 00:55:59,624
Well, I want much more
than that, Elaine.
1083
00:55:59,657 --> 00:56:03,360
I want to know everything about you,
and I'd like you to know all about me, too.
1084
00:56:03,394 --> 00:56:07,131
We might just find
out that we have a lot in common.
1085
00:56:07,164 --> 00:56:09,634
What... What... What
could we have in common?
1086
00:56:09,667 --> 00:56:11,669
Basil. I love basil.
1087
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,137
Do you like basil?
1088
00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:14,839
It doesn't sweep me
off my feet.
1089
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:18,509
Try this. My favorite color
is brown, I subscribe to the Reader's Digest,
1090
00:56:18,543 --> 00:56:20,611
I love yodeling,
and my favorite food is
1091
00:56:20,645 --> 00:56:22,813
wiener schnitzel
with rot kraut and kartoffeln.
1092
00:56:22,847 --> 00:56:24,582
Do you like wiener schnitzel
with rot kraut and kartoffeln?
1093
00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:27,985
You do! I hit a bone!
I hit a nerve!
1094
00:56:28,018 --> 00:56:30,688
I hit something. I can see it in your eyes.
You like it, too.
1095
00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:33,958
I'm gonna win you over, Elaine.
I'm gonna romance you.
1096
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:36,093
I'll wine you,
and I'll dine you.
1097
00:56:36,126 --> 00:56:40,030
And one day, you're gonna feel about me
the way I feel about you.
1098
00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:52,810
Wow!
1099
00:56:52,843 --> 00:56:57,381
You look really familiar.
How you doin', legs?
1100
00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:59,984
The name is Gloria,
not legs.
1101
00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:02,352
You!
You?
1102
00:57:02,386 --> 00:57:04,622
I've been dreaming about you.
What are you doing here?
1103
00:57:04,655 --> 00:57:08,526
I'm here to see Dibbs. I got
an important appointment.
1104
00:57:08,559 --> 00:57:10,194
Yeah, right.
1105
00:57:10,227 --> 00:57:12,830
Gloria, this report... Eddie.
1106
00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:15,633
Eddie!
Dibbsy! How's the boy?
1107
00:57:15,666 --> 00:57:18,002
I'm glad you could make it.
I guess this can wait.
1108
00:57:18,035 --> 00:57:20,004
Ever been to a brewery before?
No.
1109
00:57:20,037 --> 00:57:22,206
How about a little tour?
That would be great.
1110
00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:24,809
Listen, are you busy
Saturday night?
1111
00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:27,712
Maybe. Maybe not.
1112
00:57:27,745 --> 00:57:30,247
That's nice.
I like that.
1113
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,316
I'll see you
Saturday night, okay?
1114
00:57:32,349 --> 00:57:35,052
You payin'?
That's cute.
1115
00:57:35,553 --> 00:57:38,623
Fine thing. Jeez.
1116
00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:45,062
When Abe Fielding Sr. died, everyone assumed
I would inherit the brewery.
1117
00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:47,064
Then, it turns out
he has a son.
1118
00:57:47,097 --> 00:57:49,233
Can we talk about
Gloria for a minute? Later.
1119
00:57:49,266 --> 00:57:53,070
As I was saying,we finally track down
this Abe Jr.
1120
00:57:53,103 --> 00:57:57,074
10 minutes after an ugly accident during
a monk dance of death.
1121
00:57:57,107 --> 00:57:58,643
The guy had
gone off to Tibet.
1122
00:57:58,676 --> 00:58:00,310
Now can we
talk about Gloria?
1123
00:58:00,344 --> 00:58:05,049
Do you mind? Anyway, the only way to keep
the estate out of probate
1124
00:58:05,082 --> 00:58:07,585
was to convince someone
to be Abe Jr.
1125
00:58:07,618 --> 00:58:10,454
We found George in the loony bin,
a liar. Get it?
1126
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:14,258
So we doctored up a photograph,
hired a couple actors, and here we are.
1127
00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,761
Does she always
look that good?
1128
00:58:16,794 --> 00:58:20,230
Sorry.
I think I'll find out
for myself Saturday night.
1129
00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:48,659
Maybe we could go and do a little padumph.
Padumph?
1130
00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:51,061
Yeah.
Hmm. Never done that before.
1131
00:58:51,095 --> 00:58:52,730
I think you'll enjoy it.
1132
00:58:57,668 --> 00:58:59,704
See that guy over there?
1133
00:58:59,737 --> 00:59:02,472
He's one of the greatest
sax players I've ever heard.
1134
00:59:02,506 --> 00:59:04,141
What's his name?
1135
00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:09,714
Eddie. Eddie Dash, right?
1136
00:59:10,247 --> 00:59:11,916
Yeah, amazing.
1137
00:59:16,486 --> 00:59:21,258
Ladies and gentlemen, we have someone
very special here tonight.
1138
00:59:21,291 --> 00:59:24,428
One of the greatest
sax players around,
1139
00:59:24,461 --> 00:59:27,231
the one and only
Mr. Eddie Dash!
1140
00:59:28,432 --> 00:59:29,433
No, no.
1141
00:59:32,136 --> 00:59:34,438
You don't...
See, but that's the wrong...
1142
00:59:34,471 --> 00:59:36,473
Come on, man. Come on up.
1143
00:59:36,506 --> 00:59:38,308
Oh, God, no.
1144
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,746
Huh? Oh!
1145
00:59:41,779 --> 00:59:44,481
Go on up. Don't be modest.
Just go.
1146
00:59:44,514 --> 00:59:46,316
Just go?
Yeah, go.
1147
00:59:48,619 --> 00:59:52,823
I... No. Me?
I... No, no...
1148
00:59:52,857 --> 00:59:57,527
1149
00:59:57,561 --> 00:59:59,129
What will it be?
1150
00:59:59,163 --> 01:00:01,999
Uh, it really doesn't matter.
1151
01:00:02,032 --> 01:00:03,400
The guy's a pro.
1152
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:06,737
Okay. A-one, two,
a-one, two, three.
1153
01:00:06,771 --> 01:00:09,774
1154
01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:30,761
1155
01:00:40,337 --> 01:00:43,908
Miles Davis' twin...
1156
01:00:44,909 --> 01:00:46,610
That guy could
rip the pages.
1157
01:00:50,214 --> 01:00:51,648
Everybody!
1158
01:00:58,388 --> 01:01:00,590
1159
01:01:04,028 --> 01:01:05,329
Oh, my god.
1160
01:01:17,107 --> 01:01:19,676
Hi. Hiya.
1161
01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:21,445
You know a lot
of people here.
1162
01:01:21,478 --> 01:01:23,247
I used to come here
all the time.
1163
01:01:25,149 --> 01:01:28,052
This is us, honey.
This is your table.
1164
01:01:34,324 --> 01:01:36,293
Would you excuse me
for a minute?
1165
01:01:36,326 --> 01:01:37,327
Yes.
1166
01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:40,064
1167
01:01:41,866 --> 01:01:43,500
Here's the music.
1168
01:01:50,674 --> 01:01:51,876
Uri?
1169
01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:54,711
Good evening, honey.
1170
01:01:58,648 --> 01:02:02,820
You know, as we look
towards the east
1171
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:07,091
and see a united Deutschland,
it behooves us to stop and think
1172
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:11,128
about what walls can do,
walls between nations,
1173
01:02:12,830 --> 01:02:14,698
walls between peoples
1174
01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:20,137
and walls between
you and me, Elaine.
1175
01:02:20,637 --> 01:02:22,706
1176
01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:26,176
But if that darn wall
in Berlin can come down,
1177
01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:28,378
then maybe it's not
too much to expect
1178
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:31,448
the wall between us
to come down, too.
1179
01:02:31,481 --> 01:02:34,718
Who knows?
Maybe it just takes a dance
1180
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:35,820
1181
01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:37,254
or a glance
1182
01:02:38,622 --> 01:02:39,790
or a chance to...
1183
01:02:39,824 --> 01:02:41,158
1184
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,327
To sing a song.
1185
01:02:44,661 --> 01:02:47,898
I call this Yodelaine.
1186
01:02:48,532 --> 01:02:49,867
1187
01:02:50,968 --> 01:02:53,437
Get off the stage!
1188
01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:54,538
Sit down!
1189
01:02:54,571 --> 01:02:56,974
* Yodel
1190
01:02:57,641 --> 01:03:00,477
1191
01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:03,580
1192
01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:05,549
1193
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,319
1194
01:03:09,353 --> 01:03:11,655
1195
01:03:12,556 --> 01:03:14,091
1196
01:03:20,865 --> 01:03:23,300
1197
01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:25,502
1198
01:03:25,970 --> 01:03:27,504
1199
01:03:30,007 --> 01:03:32,276
1200
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,810
1201
01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:36,346
1202
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,218
1203
01:03:52,629 --> 01:03:54,398
1204
01:03:57,367 --> 01:04:01,071
Oh, my god!
It's Mimi Kravetz!
1205
01:04:38,308 --> 01:04:40,810
Don't tell anybody
about this. What?
1206
01:04:47,451 --> 01:04:49,386
1207
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:56,693
1208
01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:58,695
1209
01:04:58,728 --> 01:04:59,829
Damn.
1210
01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:04,001
1211
01:05:04,969 --> 01:05:08,272
1212
01:05:08,305 --> 01:05:10,840
1213
01:05:11,641 --> 01:05:12,977
1214
01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:16,413
Hey, what are you
doing up there?
1215
01:05:16,446 --> 01:05:18,015
I know you're
in the swing of things,
1216
01:05:18,048 --> 01:05:20,050
but we got business
to take care of.
1217
01:05:20,084 --> 01:05:21,218
What business?
1218
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:24,188
We gotta check him
into the dentist as Abe Fielding.
1219
01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:25,322
Why?
1220
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:27,424
Dibbs wants to see
his dental charts.
1221
01:05:28,825 --> 01:05:31,195
Oh. Bye-bye.
1222
01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:33,863
1223
01:05:33,897 --> 01:05:36,366
1224
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:40,404
Mr. Fielding, are you
still feeling the effects?
1225
01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:43,073
Can you say something?
1226
01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:46,710
Don't call my friend
a shithead.
1227
01:05:48,245 --> 01:05:50,447
Of course he has.
1228
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:54,284
Well, okay.
Now, Mr. Fielding,
1229
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:56,720
you just have one cavity,
1230
01:05:56,753 --> 01:05:59,489
so all you will hear
is the sound of the drill.
1231
01:06:00,424 --> 01:06:02,359
Tsk. Tsk.
1232
01:06:02,392 --> 01:06:04,094
Tragic.
1233
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:05,795
Were there
any survivors?
1234
01:06:05,829 --> 01:06:07,064
No one.
1235
01:06:07,097 --> 01:06:09,699
The thing blew up.
Oh, how awful.
1236
01:06:09,733 --> 01:06:13,670
It says here that the bodies were charred
beyond recognition.
1237
01:06:13,703 --> 01:06:15,572
Oh, my god.
1238
01:06:15,605 --> 01:06:18,408
Well, at least they'll know
who they're burying.
1239
01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:20,944
How would they know
who they're burying?
1240
01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:22,912
From the dental records.
1241
01:06:22,946 --> 01:06:24,514
They'll check
the dental records.
1242
01:06:24,548 --> 01:06:26,683
Oh, yeah,
you're right.
1243
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:34,024
George! George!
1244
01:06:35,092 --> 01:06:38,362
Abe? Abe Fielding,
what cubicle is he in, please?
1245
01:06:38,395 --> 01:06:40,430
Who?
You don't know?
1246
01:06:40,464 --> 01:06:42,999
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's not what you think.
1247
01:06:43,033 --> 01:06:45,702
Then why does Dibbs want the dental charts?
Come on.
1248
01:06:45,735 --> 01:06:49,106
I made a deal with George. He's gonna
hang out till the end of the week,
1249
01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:50,707
and then I get my money.
1250
01:06:51,241 --> 01:06:53,643
George? Honey?
1251
01:06:54,244 --> 01:06:55,345
Abe?
1252
01:06:55,379 --> 01:06:56,513
1253
01:06:56,546 --> 01:06:59,283
Getting killed
was not part of the deal.
1254
01:06:59,316 --> 01:07:01,951
Dibbs would never kill anyone.
It's not in him.
1255
01:07:03,187 --> 01:07:04,288
1256
01:07:04,321 --> 01:07:05,489
Excuse me.
1257
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,591
What is the
meaning of this?
1258
01:07:07,624 --> 01:07:10,194
Sweetheart, we're getting
out of here. No. I'm sorry.
1259
01:07:10,227 --> 01:07:12,596
Who is this woman? Excuse me.
You're not allowed in here.
1260
01:07:12,629 --> 01:07:15,799
Get her out of here.
Dibbs wants you dead, all right?
1261
01:07:15,832 --> 01:07:18,835
Get this.
This is a dental office.
1262
01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:23,773
He wants you dead so that he can bury you
as Fielding and inherit the company.
1263
01:07:28,078 --> 01:07:29,279
You must all leave!
1264
01:07:29,313 --> 01:07:30,680
No, no.
1265
01:07:30,714 --> 01:07:34,318
No, she leaves.
I leave. He stays.
1266
01:07:34,351 --> 01:07:37,887
Yes. No, no, I leave.
You leave. He leaves.
1267
01:07:37,921 --> 01:07:39,689
No, he must stay!
1268
01:07:39,723 --> 01:07:42,426
He has a cavity.
You leave.
1269
01:07:42,459 --> 01:07:44,328
You have a cavity.
What about him?
1270
01:07:44,361 --> 01:07:47,531
Open your mouth!
Say, "Ah." Show us your cavity.
1271
01:07:47,564 --> 01:07:52,802
Ah.
1272
01:07:54,003 --> 01:07:57,641
Oh, you got a rise,
Mr. Fielding.
1273
01:07:57,674 --> 01:08:00,377
Wait a minute.
Oh, darling. Ride 'em, cowboy!
1274
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,279
No, it's pretty good.
1275
01:08:04,648 --> 01:08:06,216
Of all the gall!
1276
01:08:08,718 --> 01:08:12,656
Did I ever say that anything bad
was gonna happen to him?
1277
01:08:12,689 --> 01:08:16,526
You never said it to me.
He never said it to me.
1278
01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:19,796
What was the point of taking him to all those
doctors and dentists, then?
1279
01:08:19,829 --> 01:08:23,700
Wait a minute. It was to establish that
he was Abe Fielding, right?
1280
01:08:23,733 --> 01:08:25,269
Yes, yes, that is right.
1281
01:08:25,302 --> 01:08:28,138
And that is because there are certain
financial transactions
1282
01:08:28,172 --> 01:08:30,940
I just can't make unless
Abe Fielding is alive.
1283
01:08:30,974 --> 01:08:32,676
That's right.
1284
01:08:32,709 --> 01:08:34,344
You know, I want
to tell you something.
1285
01:08:34,378 --> 01:08:38,448
Frankly, I expected more support out
of you, a little more gratitude.
1286
01:08:38,482 --> 01:08:41,017
For the money I'm paying you, I could
have hired a real actress.
1287
01:08:41,050 --> 01:08:43,620
Oh! Oh! That's it.
That's the button.
1288
01:08:43,653 --> 01:08:45,755
You pushed it.
I'm out of here. Sayonara.
1289
01:08:45,789 --> 01:08:48,392
I'm going back to my old job.
Oh, really? What is that?
1290
01:08:48,425 --> 01:08:51,895
Yodeling in a hillbilly nightclub?
What does that pay, Mimi?
1291
01:08:51,928 --> 01:08:54,464
The man is just trying
to reassure you.
1292
01:08:54,498 --> 01:08:58,768
And by the way, what business is it
of yours what happens to him?
1293
01:08:58,802 --> 01:09:00,904
I'm making it
my business, okay?
1294
01:09:00,937 --> 01:09:04,808
Oh, have we fallen in love
with the lunatic?
1295
01:09:04,841 --> 01:09:08,044
Oh, no, no, hey,
the lady's not in love with him. Honest.
1296
01:09:08,077 --> 01:09:10,880
She just don't want to get
involved in a murder rap.
1297
01:09:10,914 --> 01:09:13,617
Murder.
Wait for me in the car.
1298
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:16,953
You got his guarantee
there ain't gonna be no hit.
1299
01:09:16,986 --> 01:09:18,755
There better not be.
1300
01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:24,794
Actresses, you know,
1301
01:09:24,828 --> 01:09:27,163
you can't live with them,
and you can't kill them.
1302
01:09:27,197 --> 01:09:29,533
Everything's okay, right?
1303
01:09:29,566 --> 01:09:31,167
I mean,
it looks cool to me.
1304
01:09:31,201 --> 01:09:34,003
Well, not quite. Sit down.
1305
01:09:37,774 --> 01:09:40,410
You see,
there's one more thing I need you to do.
1306
01:09:40,444 --> 01:09:43,713
Yeah, what?
I need you to dispose of the lunatic.
1307
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:46,350
Ice George?
1308
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:51,020
I need Abe Fielding
dead and buried.
1309
01:09:51,054 --> 01:09:53,156
Ice George.
1310
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:58,762
Please don't tell me
that you're above this sort of thing.
1311
01:09:58,795 --> 01:10:00,997
I've never iced
anyone in my life.
1312
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,666
I'm a con man,
not a hit man.
1313
01:10:02,699 --> 01:10:06,370
Well, I think you have
two qualities that are...
1314
01:10:06,403 --> 01:10:08,071
Don't touch me.
Okay.
1315
01:10:08,104 --> 01:10:14,311
First, you love money, and second, you have
absolutely no moral character.
1316
01:10:14,911 --> 01:10:16,546
What do you say?
1317
01:10:21,618 --> 01:10:22,852
How much money
are we talking?
1318
01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:24,621
Name your price.
1319
01:10:24,654 --> 01:10:30,193
Look, Eddie, just write down any figure
that you consider reasonable,
1320
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:33,129
and I'll pay you
that amount in cash, okay?
1321
01:10:41,538 --> 01:10:44,173
Come on. We gotta go.
We're late.
1322
01:10:44,207 --> 01:10:45,509
I want to kiss
her goodbye.
1323
01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:46,676
She can't know
about this.
1324
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:49,012
I won't wake her.
Just one kiss.
1325
01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:57,887
Look at that face.
Isn't she cute?
1326
01:10:57,921 --> 01:10:59,956
Don't wake her up.
Come on, let's go.
1327
01:10:59,989 --> 01:11:01,958
What's that?
This is your gun.
1328
01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:03,226
I could never shoot...
Yikes!
1329
01:11:06,229 --> 01:11:07,531
Holy shit!
1330
01:11:11,668 --> 01:11:12,769
George?
1331
01:11:14,237 --> 01:11:16,139
George, what happened?
You all right?
1332
01:11:16,172 --> 01:11:18,107
Sorry, honey.
Fucking lunatic.
1333
01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,955
You know, I've never been
in the woods before.
1334
01:11:31,988 --> 01:11:34,057
What?
The woods.
1335
01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:35,725
I've never been
in the woods before.
1336
01:11:35,759 --> 01:11:38,562
Oh. The most
important thing
you need to know
1337
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:43,333
is if you see anything that looks like
poison ivy, don't wipe your ass with it.
1338
01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:49,906
Hey, hey,
you old duck hunter!
1339
01:11:49,939 --> 01:11:52,075
Hiya, Dibbsy.
How's it going?
1340
01:11:52,108 --> 01:11:53,743
I'm fine.
How are you? Good.
1341
01:11:53,777 --> 01:11:55,645
There he is.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
1342
01:11:55,679 --> 01:11:58,281
Damn ducks! What the hell
do we need those ducks for?
1343
01:11:58,314 --> 01:11:59,616
Bam! Bam! Bam!
1344
01:11:59,649 --> 01:12:02,652
What a day
to kill a duck, huh?
1345
01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:06,289
Maybe after the hunt, we can shoot some
billiards. What do you say?
1346
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:09,426
Here. I picked this
out for you myself. Put it on.
1347
01:12:09,459 --> 01:12:11,595
What's that?
This is your hunting jacket.
1348
01:12:11,628 --> 01:12:13,997
That's great.
1349
01:12:14,030 --> 01:12:15,399
Oh.
1350
01:12:15,432 --> 01:12:16,500
Thanks, Dibbsy.
1351
01:12:16,533 --> 01:12:17,734
It looks wonderful.
1352
01:12:17,767 --> 01:12:19,135
You know
who you look like? Who?
1353
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:20,537
Ernest Hemingway.
Honest?
1354
01:12:20,570 --> 01:12:22,872
Doesn't he?
Yeah.
1355
01:12:22,906 --> 01:12:28,111
I hate to rush, but something unexpected
has come up, and I won't be going with you.
1356
01:12:28,144 --> 01:12:30,647
Why not? Business.
That's life, huh?
1357
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:35,519
Emergency at the plant. But those
ducks won't wait. They don't care.
1358
01:12:35,552 --> 01:12:37,053
Come on, let's go.
1359
01:12:37,086 --> 01:12:38,655
Did you shoot all
these animals yourself?
1360
01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:42,058
No, you did. You and all
the Fieldings before you.
1361
01:12:42,091 --> 01:12:44,928
Ducks for dinner tonight!
Happy hunting!
1362
01:12:44,961 --> 01:12:47,431
Hey, wait in the truck for me.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1363
01:12:47,464 --> 01:12:49,165
Okey doke.
Happy hunting!
1364
01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:50,900
I gotta talk to you.
Sure.
1365
01:12:51,735 --> 01:12:52,902
What?
1366
01:12:52,936 --> 01:12:55,271
The deal was you were supposed
to come with us.
1367
01:12:55,304 --> 01:12:57,173
What the fuck's
going on, Dibbsy?
1368
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,608
Just relax, Eddie.
1369
01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:01,745
Just get him in the duck blind,
blast a couple of ducks,
1370
01:13:01,778 --> 01:13:05,449
and then you yell,"Look out!
There's a bear! Run for your life!"
1371
01:13:05,482 --> 01:13:06,650
Then you blast him.
1372
01:13:06,683 --> 01:13:08,652
There are no bears
in a duck blind.
1373
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:11,120
It doesn't matter
whether there are bears there or not!
1374
01:13:11,154 --> 01:13:12,589
Just yell, "Look out!
There's a bear!"
1375
01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:14,724
It will be over
before he knows
what happened.
1376
01:13:14,758 --> 01:13:18,194
Okay, but I want
the other half of my money
1377
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:21,097
before people find out
we're not burying Fielding.
1378
01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:24,267
There's no chance of that happening.
I've got all the documents
1379
01:13:24,300 --> 01:13:26,102
to prove that
he is Abe Fielding.
1380
01:13:26,135 --> 01:13:30,139
So don't worry about it.
Come on!
1381
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:33,810
This is a really nice jacket
Dibbsy gave me.
1382
01:13:33,843 --> 01:13:36,580
It must have cost him a pretty penny.
I like this jacket.
1383
01:13:36,613 --> 01:13:39,415
You gotta put the collar up.
You gotta be cool.
1384
01:13:39,449 --> 01:13:40,617
How do you mean?
Here.
1385
01:13:40,650 --> 01:13:42,852
A little classier.
Wear it like that.
1386
01:13:42,886 --> 01:13:47,190
Cool? Cool, man,
like you? I look like Eddie.
1387
01:13:48,692 --> 01:13:50,527
Yeah, very nice.
1388
01:13:51,027 --> 01:13:52,161
Ducks!
1389
01:14:06,409 --> 01:14:08,745
Whoa, now.
Take it easy.
1390
01:14:12,415 --> 01:14:15,018
Easy. Now!
1391
01:14:15,051 --> 01:14:18,988
Keep flying! Keep flying! Go home! Go away!
There's people here with guns!
1392
01:14:19,022 --> 01:14:22,058
Get out of here!
Go back to your families! Get out!
1393
01:14:22,091 --> 01:14:23,760
Get out! Get out!
1394
01:14:23,793 --> 01:14:25,361
Why did you do that?
1395
01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:27,497
To keep an innocent creature
from being killed
1396
01:14:27,531 --> 01:14:30,266
and to save you from a lifetime
of heartache and guilt.
1397
01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:31,801
They're just ducks!
1398
01:14:31,835 --> 01:14:33,202
They're not just ducks!
1399
01:14:33,236 --> 01:14:35,238
They're alive!
They're like you and me!
1400
01:14:35,271 --> 01:14:39,342
They're not like you and me!
They fly around, and they shit on people.
1401
01:14:41,277 --> 01:14:45,949
* Be kind to your
web-footed friends
1402
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:49,085
* 'Cause a duck could be
somebody's mother *
1403
01:14:49,118 --> 01:14:51,387
Can you freeze on
the "web-footed friend" shit?
1404
01:14:51,420 --> 01:14:54,390
Sorry, Eddie. I just couldn't help to think
about those poor ducks.
1405
01:14:54,423 --> 01:14:55,625
What was that?
1406
01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:57,193
What was what?
1407
01:14:57,226 --> 01:14:58,795
I heard something.
What?
1408
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:00,429
A bird?
1409
01:15:00,463 --> 01:15:01,565
It was a bear.
1410
01:15:01,598 --> 01:15:02,699
A bear!
1411
01:15:04,934 --> 01:15:06,069
Where?
1412
01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:07,804
Just... I'm gonna get it.
1413
01:15:07,837 --> 01:15:09,873
Eddie, do you see it?
1414
01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:11,407
No, but it's a bear.
1415
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:12,508
Where is it now?
1416
01:15:12,542 --> 01:15:13,877
It's a brown bear.
1417
01:15:13,910 --> 01:15:15,111
A big brown bear?
1418
01:15:17,380 --> 01:15:19,849
Eddie, you were right.
1419
01:15:19,883 --> 01:15:20,984
I see it.
1420
01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:22,552
See, you put
one of these...
1421
01:15:22,586 --> 01:15:24,387
Oh, my god.
1422
01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:25,789
1423
01:15:25,822 --> 01:15:27,090
He's huge!
1424
01:15:27,123 --> 01:15:29,325
It's a great, giant bear!
1425
01:15:30,226 --> 01:15:32,862
1426
01:15:32,896 --> 01:15:36,032
Don't worry, Eddie.
Don't worry.
1427
01:15:36,666 --> 01:15:38,702
Sit. Sit, baby.
1428
01:15:38,735 --> 01:15:40,604
1429
01:15:40,637 --> 01:15:42,572
He's gonna rip off
your dick.
1430
01:15:42,606 --> 01:15:47,343
Hello, there.
You're a big fellow,
aren't you?
1431
01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:53,516
If you understand
what I'm saying, raise your left hand.
1432
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:55,852
Good. Now both.
Very good!
1433
01:15:55,885 --> 01:15:58,487
What the fuck are you doing?
1434
01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:01,057
We want to express
1435
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:03,827
love for you.
1436
01:16:05,261 --> 01:16:07,463
Eddie and I
come in peace.
1437
01:16:09,098 --> 01:16:11,000
Well, I see
what you mean.
1438
01:16:11,034 --> 01:16:14,537
You make
a good point. Yes.
1439
01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:19,042
We saw some of your friends mounted on
the wall at the lodge we just came from.
1440
01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:23,046
Eddie and I found it disgusting.
Didn't we, Eddie?
1441
01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:26,750
Get the fuck out of the way!
I'm gonna shoot it!
1442
01:16:26,783 --> 01:16:29,518
No, Eddie, don't shoot.
Don't shoot!
1443
01:16:29,552 --> 01:16:33,289
1444
01:16:41,130 --> 01:16:43,767
Well, kids,
1445
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:48,371
I guess it's time to ring down the curtain
on this production of ours.
1446
01:16:49,405 --> 01:16:52,876
I think we made a hit,
don't you?
1447
01:16:52,909 --> 01:16:57,613
Letitia, I prophesy
a big career for you. I mean that, dear.
1448
01:16:57,647 --> 01:17:00,984
The memorial service will be this afternoon
in the Fielding Chapel,
1449
01:17:01,017 --> 01:17:03,119
which is just adjoining
the brewery.
1450
01:17:03,152 --> 01:17:05,454
Brewery.
1451
01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:07,824
I will be expecting
the three of you to attend.
1452
01:17:07,857 --> 01:17:11,560
Jerome, just think of it
as a curtain call.
1453
01:17:11,594 --> 01:17:14,664
So you're saying
that we're burying him as Fielding
1454
01:17:14,698 --> 01:17:16,165
even though he wasn't
really Fielding?
1455
01:17:16,199 --> 01:17:19,035
Yes, I feel it's the least
we can do.
1456
01:17:19,068 --> 01:17:22,706
The poor guy had no family,
no friends.
1457
01:17:22,739 --> 01:17:25,909
It's a terrible tragedy,
but accidents happen.
1458
01:17:27,576 --> 01:17:29,312
Don't they, Eddie?
1459
01:17:30,213 --> 01:17:31,881
It was an accident.
1460
01:17:31,915 --> 01:17:35,218
Of course it was.
No one's saying it wasn't, Eddie.
1461
01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:37,721
Nobody blames you.
1462
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:40,757
How do we play this?
Like we knew him as Abe?
1463
01:17:40,790 --> 01:17:44,828
Yes, of course, Jerome.
That's the point, isn't it?
1464
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:46,763
I want you to play it sad
but not morose.
1465
01:17:46,796 --> 01:17:49,365
Ken, upset,
but, please, no tears.
1466
01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:53,469
Poor guy. I feel awful.
1467
01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:55,171
Yes, you use that, Eleanor.
1468
01:17:55,204 --> 01:17:59,108
Save it for later and use it.
That's called method acting.
1469
01:17:59,142 --> 01:18:02,078
Look, everybody, I just want
to express my gratitude
1470
01:18:02,111 --> 01:18:06,282
to a very, very talented
ensemble of thespians. Bravo!
1471
01:18:06,315 --> 01:18:07,416
1472
01:18:07,450 --> 01:18:08,451
Bravissimo!
1473
01:18:36,345 --> 01:18:39,415
Oh, for Pete's sake,
if we knew you were Abe,
1474
01:18:39,448 --> 01:18:42,351
we might have been able
to help you, George.
1475
01:18:47,656 --> 01:18:50,126
Now, that
is a beautiful suit,
1476
01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:52,361
and that tie
matches perfectly,
1477
01:18:52,395 --> 01:18:55,164
but you need a handkerchief.
Get this man a handkerchief!
1478
01:18:55,198 --> 01:18:57,200
For heaven's sakes, enough is enough!
Get over here!
1479
01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:59,535
Sit down in the pew,
shut up and be good.
1480
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:02,038
Always said
you were full of shit.
1481
01:19:07,043 --> 01:19:09,312
Abe, we hardly knew you.
1482
01:19:11,214 --> 01:19:12,748
We knew your dad, though.
1483
01:19:12,782 --> 01:19:14,884
Many of us remember
putting to rest...
1484
01:19:14,918 --> 01:19:19,989
Rather, preserving
the great man right here not so long ago,
1485
01:19:20,023 --> 01:19:25,228
and now father and son can freeze
in peace together.
1486
01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:31,700
Uh, Abe's best friend,
Mr. Eddie Dash, is here.
1487
01:19:31,734 --> 01:19:33,202
He's gonna say a few words.
1488
01:19:33,236 --> 01:19:35,638
Eddie, come and say
a few words.
1489
01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:40,476
Mr. Dibbs?
What?
1490
01:19:40,509 --> 01:19:42,311
There is an extremely
urgent phone call for you.
1491
01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:43,412
Urgent?
Yes.
1492
01:19:43,446 --> 01:19:44,848
Okay.
1493
01:19:48,051 --> 01:19:49,853
Hey! Hey! Hands off!
1494
01:19:54,323 --> 01:19:57,060
Abe was a nice man.
1495
01:19:57,626 --> 01:19:59,095
Yes, he was.
1496
01:19:59,128 --> 01:20:00,596
Good man, Abe.
1497
01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:03,833
Uh, he liked basil.
1498
01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:06,269
He loved basil.
1499
01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:09,873
He used to say basil was a herb
whose time had come.
1500
01:20:14,777 --> 01:20:16,812
Unfortunately, Abe,
1501
01:20:16,846 --> 01:20:19,315
it was you
whose time had come.
1502
01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:22,118
We used to smoke
basil together.
1503
01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:24,120
We'd get a natural high.
1504
01:20:25,521 --> 01:20:27,290
Smoked a lot, too.
1505
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,525
And he loved to yodel.
1506
01:20:29,558 --> 01:20:32,328
Yodeling and magic,
that was his thing.
1507
01:20:32,361 --> 01:20:35,031
He always said
if he could combine the two,
1508
01:20:35,064 --> 01:20:37,633
he would yodel
from his grave.
1509
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:39,635
I know that's impossible.
1510
01:20:40,503 --> 01:20:42,271
Uh...
1511
01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:56,920
It's a miracle.
1512
01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:08,431
1513
01:21:10,266 --> 01:21:12,468
Oh, my God!
1514
01:21:22,011 --> 01:21:23,479
Hi, everybody.
1515
01:21:23,512 --> 01:21:26,749
I'm very touched that you all came
to my funeral.
1516
01:21:26,782 --> 01:21:28,817
I know this must be
a little con...
1517
01:21:28,851 --> 01:21:30,519
Honey!
1518
01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:33,089
Honey? What happened?
1519
01:21:33,122 --> 01:21:34,657
What's the matter, sweetheart?
1520
01:21:34,690 --> 01:21:36,359
What the hell is going on?
1521
01:21:36,392 --> 01:21:37,460
You tell me.
1522
01:21:37,493 --> 01:21:38,928
Did we rehearse this scene?
1523
01:21:38,962 --> 01:21:40,129
No.
No.
1524
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:50,439
Ooh!
1525
01:21:50,473 --> 01:21:51,941
Just what are you doing, huh?
1526
01:21:51,975 --> 01:21:54,710
Have you completely lost
your tiny little mind?
1527
01:21:54,743 --> 01:21:57,013
You forget,
we're playing my game now.
1528
01:21:57,046 --> 01:21:58,181
Oh, really?
1529
01:21:58,214 --> 01:22:01,517
I've got news for you, pal.
I'm holdin' all the cards.
1530
01:22:01,550 --> 01:22:03,019
I can prove
you're a murderer.
1531
01:22:03,052 --> 01:22:05,989
I've got the whole
ugly business on tape.
1532
01:22:06,022 --> 01:22:08,357
Au contraire, my friend.
There was no murder,
1533
01:22:08,391 --> 01:22:11,627
but there was a conspiracy to murder,
which I have on tape.
1534
01:22:12,061 --> 01:22:13,929
Honey.
1535
01:22:13,963 --> 01:22:16,232
Honey, can you hear me?
1536
01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:18,167
You're alive!
1537
01:22:18,201 --> 01:22:19,435
Everything's
gonna be all right.
1538
01:22:19,468 --> 01:22:20,636
Eddie said he shot you.
1539
01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:22,371
No, that was all
part of the plan.
1540
01:22:22,405 --> 01:22:24,807
Didn't he tell you?
He was supposed to tell you. Oh, baby!
1541
01:22:24,840 --> 01:22:27,410
We worked it all out
on the way to the lodge.
1542
01:22:27,443 --> 01:22:29,478
This is our
first meeting,
1543
01:22:30,013 --> 01:22:32,015
our second meeting.
1544
01:22:32,048 --> 01:22:34,683
This is a little something for you,
you know, Johnny Mathis.
1545
01:22:34,717 --> 01:22:37,320
To help you make it
through the night.
1546
01:22:39,588 --> 01:22:44,160
And this file proves
that my man is Abe Fielding.
1547
01:22:44,193 --> 01:22:46,329
Your man is dead!
1548
01:22:46,362 --> 01:22:48,131
Wrong again, Dibbsy.
1549
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:49,832
Carlos.
1550
01:22:49,865 --> 01:22:51,134
1551
01:22:51,167 --> 01:22:53,602
What does that mean?
What does that mean? What does he mean?
1552
01:22:53,636 --> 01:22:55,771
1553
01:22:59,475 --> 01:23:00,909
We gotta get
out of here! No, no, no.
1554
01:23:00,943 --> 01:23:03,346
We gotta go!
1555
01:23:03,379 --> 01:23:05,981
But I saw him lying
on a slab in the morgue!
1556
01:23:06,015 --> 01:23:07,416
That's right,
Eddie's got connections,
1557
01:23:07,450 --> 01:23:08,984
and the morgue attendant
owed him a favor.
1558
01:23:09,018 --> 01:23:11,387
Right, Eddie?
That's right.
1559
01:23:11,420 --> 01:23:13,089
Hello, everybody.
1560
01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:16,492
I know you must be a little confused
about what's been going on,
1561
01:23:16,525 --> 01:23:18,561
but the important thing
that I want you to know
1562
01:23:18,594 --> 01:23:20,463
is that I'm back
at the brewery,
1563
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:22,098
and you're all in
1564
01:23:22,131 --> 01:23:23,899
for a five percent raise.
1565
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:26,835
Don't listen
to anything he says.
1566
01:23:26,869 --> 01:23:29,172
Don't listen!
He's full of shit!
1567
01:23:30,306 --> 01:23:32,208
Grab him!
1568
01:23:32,241 --> 01:23:33,276
1569
01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:34,510
You all right, sir?
We got you.
1570
01:23:34,543 --> 01:23:37,480
Get me up! Get me up right now!
Right now!
1571
01:23:37,513 --> 01:23:39,348
You can't say we didn't try.
1572
01:23:39,382 --> 01:23:40,849
Cut him loose, Barney.
1573
01:23:40,883 --> 01:23:42,851
That man is an impostor!
1574
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:46,489
What are you waiting for?
Cut me out of this!
1575
01:23:46,522 --> 01:23:49,592
He's not Abe Fielding, no.
I knew Abe Fielding.
1576
01:23:49,625 --> 01:23:52,161
Abe Fielding
was a friend of mine,
1577
01:23:52,195 --> 01:23:55,331
and this man
is not Abe Fielding.
1578
01:23:55,364 --> 01:23:57,200
But, Mr. Dibbs,
you just eulogized him.
1579
01:23:57,233 --> 01:23:58,601
You said,
"Abe, we hardly knew you."
1580
01:23:58,634 --> 01:23:59,768
And then
the other guy got up...
1581
01:23:59,802 --> 01:24:01,704
Shut up! Sit down.
Yes, sir.
1582
01:24:01,737 --> 01:24:03,406
You! You! You! You!
1583
01:24:03,439 --> 01:24:05,541
Did you or did you not
treat this man
1584
01:24:05,574 --> 01:24:07,410
in your lunatic asylum?
1585
01:24:07,443 --> 01:24:10,279
Sanitarium! Besides, it was you who told
us he was Abe Fielding.
1586
01:24:10,313 --> 01:24:11,847
That's right, but he's not!
1587
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:15,584
I challenge anyone in this room to say
this man is Abe Fielding.
1588
01:24:15,618 --> 01:24:18,254
He's Abe Fielding.
I've been his bookie for years.
1589
01:24:18,287 --> 01:24:20,089
Al, shut up.
1590
01:24:20,123 --> 01:24:22,958
He's one of our best friends.
Isn't that right, honey?
1591
01:24:22,991 --> 01:24:24,227
No, not now, you idiots!
1592
01:24:24,260 --> 01:24:26,729
Wait a minute.
I don't remember this scene.
1593
01:24:26,762 --> 01:24:29,232
Ladies and gentlemen,
these people, they're merely actors.
1594
01:24:29,265 --> 01:24:31,033
Do you understand?
"Merely actors"?
1595
01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:33,936
Not very good ones at that.
Do you understand? They're playing roles.
1596
01:24:33,969 --> 01:24:35,538
They're paid
to say these things.
1597
01:24:35,571 --> 01:24:40,243
1598
01:24:41,544 --> 01:24:44,012
Point of order!
Point of order!
1599
01:24:45,881 --> 01:24:47,150
Ow!
1600
01:24:48,617 --> 01:24:51,620
Ronald Reagan
was merely an actor!
1601
01:24:56,859 --> 01:24:58,994
All right, all right.
Fine, fine.
1602
01:24:59,027 --> 01:25:01,730
Call the...
Are you the equity deputy?
1603
01:25:01,764 --> 01:25:04,733
Um... Boy, I don't
know what to say.
1604
01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:07,803
I feel like such a fool.
I'm sorry. I am.
1605
01:25:07,836 --> 01:25:10,306
I lost. You won.
Come on!
1606
01:25:10,339 --> 01:25:15,444
Let's bury the hatchet over a stein of Fielding
in my... In your office, huh?
1607
01:25:15,478 --> 01:25:16,545
No, I don't think so.
1608
01:25:16,579 --> 01:25:18,181
Come on. Don't be
a spoilsport, Mimi!
1609
01:25:18,214 --> 01:25:19,615
George, we don't
have time for a drink.
1610
01:25:19,648 --> 01:25:20,983
Abe... George...
Whatever your name is.
1611
01:25:21,016 --> 01:25:23,152
No, no, no!
Listen, George...
1612
01:25:26,255 --> 01:25:29,425
Run! Run, run, run, run!
1613
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:33,162
He's gonna kill him!
Oh, my God!
1614
01:25:33,196 --> 01:25:35,198
Get the casket.
Bring it down here, quick!
1615
01:25:35,231 --> 01:25:36,465
Come on, this way!
1616
01:25:44,540 --> 01:25:45,841
Come on! Let's go!
1617
01:25:45,874 --> 01:25:46,909
Move!
1618
01:25:46,942 --> 01:25:48,744
Hey!
Get out of there!
1619
01:25:50,078 --> 01:25:51,747
Break it through!
Shut up!
1620
01:26:27,583 --> 01:26:30,118
This is my brewery.
I earned it!
1621
01:26:30,152 --> 01:26:33,188
You want to be in beer?
Welcome to the beer business!
1622
01:26:33,222 --> 01:26:37,326
Dibbsy, I won't tell the police
you tried to kill me.
1623
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:38,761
The name is Mr. Dibbs!
1624
01:26:38,794 --> 01:26:40,028
1625
01:26:42,698 --> 01:26:45,934
Help! Help me!
1626
01:26:49,071 --> 01:26:51,274
Eddie, I'm down here!
1627
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:54,643
Help! Oh, God!
1628
01:26:57,646 --> 01:26:58,814
Eddie!
1629
01:27:07,155 --> 01:27:08,324
Eddie!
1630
01:27:09,258 --> 01:27:10,526
1631
01:27:21,036 --> 01:27:22,371
All right, get the valve.
1632
01:27:22,405 --> 01:27:24,607
Get the valve.
George? George?
1633
01:27:26,509 --> 01:27:28,644
Hang on! Is this it?
1634
01:27:31,914 --> 01:27:35,183
George, don't worry. Keep your
mouth shut in there.
1635
01:27:39,822 --> 01:27:42,758
Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!
1636
01:27:42,791 --> 01:27:44,693
Did you hit that?
Did you hit that?
1637
01:27:47,229 --> 01:27:51,133
Will somebody
please tell me what's going on?
1638
01:27:56,004 --> 01:27:57,940
George? George?
1639
01:28:00,843 --> 01:28:02,110
1640
01:28:02,945 --> 01:28:04,913
Boy, that was good beer.
1641
01:28:05,414 --> 01:28:06,749
Oh, honey!
1642
01:28:07,483 --> 01:28:08,517
Ow!
1643
01:28:09,051 --> 01:28:10,453
Oh, baby.
1644
01:28:10,486 --> 01:28:12,721
What did you do
with Dibbsy?
1645
01:28:12,755 --> 01:28:15,824
Guards, get him out of here.
1646
01:28:20,396 --> 01:28:23,966
He's not Fielding.
He's a liar. The man's a liar.
1647
01:28:25,634 --> 01:28:26,902
You know,
if you lie about this,
1648
01:28:26,935 --> 01:28:29,805
you'll be lying for the rest of your
life, you liar!
1649
01:28:29,838 --> 01:28:32,641
Liar! Liar!
1650
01:28:32,675 --> 01:28:35,444
Liar! Liar! Liar!
1651
01:28:35,478 --> 01:28:39,382
Honey, if I don't
tell the truth right now,
1652
01:28:39,415 --> 01:28:42,217
will you ever be able
to believe me again?
1653
01:28:43,051 --> 01:28:44,787
I love you, George.
1654
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:47,022
George.
1655
01:28:47,823 --> 01:28:49,792
Walk like a man, George.
1656
01:28:52,528 --> 01:28:54,563
Don't do anything stupid!
1657
01:28:54,597 --> 01:28:56,799
We're pissin' in tall cotton!
1658
01:28:59,468 --> 01:29:01,837
Sorry, everybody.
1659
01:29:01,870 --> 01:29:03,872
I have somethin'
I want to tell you.
1660
01:29:03,906 --> 01:29:07,109
Mr. Dibbs was telling the truth
a little while ago.
1661
01:29:08,310 --> 01:29:10,446
I am a pathological liar.
1662
01:29:10,479 --> 01:29:13,949
I spent the last three years of my life
in a sanitarium.
1663
01:29:13,982 --> 01:29:16,284
Shit, I'm broke.
1664
01:29:16,318 --> 01:29:19,422
I'm a Volvo dealer,
and my name happens to be
1665
01:29:20,122 --> 01:29:21,189
George.
1666
01:29:21,223 --> 01:29:23,191
This Fielding's a beauty.
1667
01:29:23,225 --> 01:29:25,628
George.
Get used to George.
1668
01:29:25,661 --> 01:29:29,598
George Washington,
as a matter of fact.
1669
01:29:29,632 --> 01:29:33,536
EDDIE: Hey, everybody,
take the rest of the day off, okay?
1670
01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:37,239
And forget about that five percent raise
when you come back.
1671
01:29:37,272 --> 01:29:38,907
It will be
a 10 percent raise!
1672
01:29:50,352 --> 01:29:51,386
Oh, honey.
1673
01:29:51,420 --> 01:29:55,424
Fielding! Fielding!
1674
01:29:57,159 --> 01:29:58,727
Stop fucking around!
1675
01:29:59,462 --> 01:30:00,563
Smile!
1676
01:30:00,596 --> 01:30:02,297
A little more!
1677
01:30:02,330 --> 01:30:03,632
All right, a little more.
1678
01:30:14,376 --> 01:30:16,879
Come on. Gloria, can I have that card
for a minute?
1679
01:30:16,912 --> 01:30:18,814
Thank you.
And I need your lipstick.
1680
01:30:18,847 --> 01:30:21,984
What? I don't wanna take a picture
with no lipstick.
1681
01:30:22,017 --> 01:30:23,218
I don't want no lipstick!
1682
01:30:23,251 --> 01:30:24,319
Yes, you'll like this one.
1683
01:30:24,352 --> 01:30:26,021
I don't want
no lipstick, okay?
1684
01:30:26,054 --> 01:30:27,155
I promise.
1685
01:30:27,189 --> 01:30:29,825
They'll put me in a magazine.
They'll take pictures.
1686
01:30:29,858 --> 01:30:31,827
It will be... Hey.
1687
01:30:34,029 --> 01:30:35,097
Great.
1688
01:30:35,130 --> 01:30:36,331
Hey, what are
you doing?
1689
01:30:37,199 --> 01:30:38,266
Putting my arm
around you.
1690
01:30:38,300 --> 01:30:41,604
I don't like to be touched.
Just keep your hands off!
1691
01:30:41,637 --> 01:30:43,606
What is wrong with you?
1692
01:34:29,631 --> 01:34:33,101
Don't ever call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
117200
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