All language subtitles for Band of Robbers 2015 720p WEB-DL x264 AC3-ETRG-HI

(wind whistling)

MAN (narrating)
You don't know me...

unless you know
about me and Tom Sawyer,

where we've been,

what we've done together.

(crashing)
MAN:
Huckleberry!

MAN: You'll respect
your father, boy.
(loud slap)

- Meow!
- MAN: Where do you
think you're going?

Huck, get your ass
back in here!
Meow!

HUCK (narrating):
Tom was the closest thing
to real family I had.

He saw a world where we were
just one adventure away

from all our problems
disappearing forever.

When we get the treasure,
you won't have to live
with your dad anymore.

You can live
wherever you want.
All right?

I care about you.

HUCK (narrating):
Seemed that every second

he was dreaming up
some new plan for us.

But the grandaddy of them all
was finding Murrel's treasure.

I probably don't
have to tell you

that John Andrews Murrel
was a notorious bandit.

Legend had it
that before Murrel died,

he hid his fortune
somewhere in town,

leaving clues
to its location.

But to this day,
no one's found it.

Tom figured he was
a lot like Murrel,

so it was only natural
that he'd be the one
to find the treasure.

Takes a pirate to think
like another pirate.

To Tom, trespassing
and other laws

didn't apply
to treasure hunters.

Ours was a special code.

(clanking)

The truth is, we weren't
the only ones looking.

(clanking)

(siren wailing)

HUCK (narrating):
Didn't really matter to me

that our adventures
never came out right.
Hey! Stop!

(grunting)
Tom!

- Huck!
- Tom!

With Tom, there was always
something great just ahead,

a dream to hold on to,

even if it seemed
there was only more bad coming.

OFFICER:
No, I'll take him
upstairs.

It was a dream
worth pursuing,

time after time.

I suppose to a stranger's eyes,
Tom and I may seem
worlds apart now.

We may be
in different places,

but things
aren't that different.

Where do you see yourself
in the next five years,
Mr., uh, Finn?

Well, sir, I, uh--

I guess I see myself
getting a good job.

How would you describe
your work on the police force
in one word?

Great.
In the heat of battle.
The local hero.

The loc--
Great in battle.
Battle-tested.

- One word, Tom.
- Hero.

Hero.
Policeman.

You would describe your work
as "policeman."

Um, I don't know.
(laughs)

Um...

Maybe a family?

Never had that.

Hard to have a family
when you're imprisoned.

That's why I'm never
coming back here again.

Make me a detective.
No.

Sid's a detective,
and he's an idiot.

Nice way to talk
about your brother.
Half-brother.

Lieutenant. Uh, sorry.
Shepherdson flipped.

- Nice work, Sid.
- Thank you.

If you'll excuse us, Tom.
Write tickets. Do your job.

HUCK (narrating):
After so many years
of chasing the fairy tale,

most people would be ready
to give up.

(siren wailing)

But Tom Sawyer
isn't most people.

(laughing)

Hey, Tom.
Huckleberry Finn.

Left the lights on
for ya.

Brings back memories.

Ah, shit. You know,
it's supposed to look
like fireworks, you know.

Like... Huck's back.

You're a cop.

Oh, yeah.

Figured if, uh, Sid
got to have a gun,
I should too.

So-- Hey, thanks
for not saying anything
about me in there, man.

Appreciate that.

I got you something.

Huh?

Figured you probably
didn't get too much
of this stuff inside.

I ate some of the pie,
but there's till
over half left, so...

You staying
with the widow?

Yeah. For now.
Yeah. Cool, man.

Things are gonna
be different this time.
I guarantee it.

I'll get more into that
later at your big party--
We got a party planned for you.

Okay.
Yeah, man.
You and me.

Huckleberry Finn
and Tom Sawyer, buddy.
Just you wait.

Come on.
(chuckles)

Look at this guy.
It's good to see you.

You too, man.
Let's get outta here.

Put that shit
behind you. Right?

Oh, you gotta ride
in the back.
Sorry. It's protocol.

Right.
Watch your head.

You're under arrest.

(engine starts)

HUCK (narrating):
Just doesn't seem to matter,

knowing there's a time
you gotta let go,

gotta grow up.

Some things never change.

Even when
they probably should.

WOMAN:
I'm not ashamed of you.

Dear God,
please help
this shameful,

poor, lost lamb

to find his way.

Set him on your path.
Forgive him his mistakes.

Amen.

I feel like that worked.
Thank you.
(chuckles)

Well, you can sleep here
as long as you stay
on the straight path.

If you gonna get a job,
you're gonna have to
look civilized.

Okay.

(speaking Spanish)

There you are.
How was the job search?

Pretty good.

Jorge, I need you
to come back tomorrow

and trim the branches
on the maple out back.

(Spanish)

I'm saying that the walkway
out back is being blocked
and it can't just stay that way.

(Spanish)

How do they not
know English?

TOM:
Meow! Meow. Meow!

- Meow.
- Meow!

�� (speakers: pop)

Hope you're ready
to party, buddy.

Oh, you know what?
I forgot. This is a--
This is a surprise party.

So...

Okay.
Yeah.

(laughing)
Act surprised, okay?

It'd just make the guys
feel great.
I got it.

- Okay. Great.
- (warning bell dinging)

Shit.
It does that.

�� (speakers:
pop, anthem)

Oh, hey, Amy.

Hi.
Nice... shirt.

So, Barnes downstairs?
Alone?

Cool.
We'll go look.

Excuse us.

Oh, no.

God, it's so dark.
I bet there's nobody
down here at all.

ALL:
Surprise!

(all shouting, laughing)
Just kidding.
We got him.

We got him.
We got him.

- Turn on the AC.
- The AC doesn't work down here.
Can I talk to you?

- Are you doing
laundry right now?
- You're out of underwear.

How's prison?
Bad, right?

Open up a window.
There's no window, Tom.
It's a basement. A man cave.

Sounds pretty weird.
Whatever. Let's do this.

Okay, we're gonna get
this Huckleberry Finn
welcome-back party

up on its feet
in three, two, one...

- (clicks)
- �� (ballad, vocalizing)

�� (continues in Spanish)

�� (ends)

Then they broke up.
Yeah.

Oh, Huck, I almost forgot.

I got you a little
welcome-back present.

Oh.
Still selling these things
online.

And, uh, business
is going really well.

This is my newest model,
and I thought you might like it.

"My other car is Jesus."

"My other car is Jesus."

You should make
another one that says
"My other car is fishing."

Fishing is super-popular.

We weren't
supposed to bring gifts--
And I got him pie earlier, so...

We're all glad
to have Huck back, right?
That's why we're here.

To believe in that,
to celebrate that.

This is a party, okay?
Welcome back, Huck, right?

This is
for you, man.
Whoo! Huck!

And it's a meeting.
So let's start the meeting.

I know what you guys
are thinking.

Huck's been in jail. I don't
wanna have anything to do
with that stuff. Neither do I.

But I don't think
Huck's done anything wrong.
And that's coming from a cop.

You know what other cops do?
They write tickets
to your own grandmothers.

They let real criminals
get away with
whatever they want.

They make the wrong people
into detectives.

You know-- The point is,
they have no perspective.

They have
no imagination.

And that's what
brings us to now.

An opportunity
has presented itself

to make real criminals pay

while we, the good guys,

get a little payday--
a big payday for ourselves.

So, if you're with me,

the way I see it,

this marks
the first meeting of...

the Band of Robbers.

Okay, robbers, Tom?
(chuckles)

Think of it like this.

Robin Hood
and his merry men.

Robbing from the rich,
giving to the poor,
keeping some money.

Keeping the money. You know?
I wrote up an oath--

- We're bad guys?
- No, we're heroes.

Sounds like bad guys.

When you steal
from criminals,

it makes stealing
more of a good thing
than a bad one.

- Hang on and I'll--
- It's still illegal though.
Right?

Ben, do you wanna be working
for Barnes your whole life
at the auto shop?

- Having to borrow money
from your half-brother?
- I don't have a half-brother.

It's an expression.
Look.

My ex-fianc�e used to say,
"He's never gonna do
anything special.

He's always
gonna be like a kid."

Man, we all know
you're talking about
Amy right now.

She's my wife.
Well, it doesn't make
the anecdote untrue, does it?

My hair is falling out.
You see that?
My back hurts.

Before you know it
I'm gonna be one of
these old guys

walking around
in a wheelchair,
never did anything.

- Maybe Amy Lawrence
does think I'm a kid.
- Tom.

Well, I'm a Toys R Us kid.
And I own my own handgun
and a pretty nice minivan.

And I'm tired
of people telling me
what I can and can't do.

And I think it's time
that we all did
something valuable.

I think it's time
that we all did
something meaningful.

Okay? Now listen to
the oath. Here we go.
(clears throat)

"By joining this band,
I agree to stay loyal

and not share
any band secrets
with others.

If I do, I agree
to have my throat cut
and a curse put on my head

and to be set on fire
and never talked about anymore.

I agree that if anybody
hurts a member of the gang,
Tom will appoint someone

to kill the person
who did it."

- What about families?
- What do you mean?

If someone in the gang rats,
we should, like,
kill someone in their family.

We will definitely do that.

Huck doesn't have any family,
so that doesn't seem like
a completely fair trade.

What about that old lady
that you live with?

Sure. Yeah. Sure.

- I'm cool with that.
- We'll just kill her.

- BEN:
I was gonna say kill her.
- Okay, great. Anyways--

Should I be chosen for the task,
I will not eat or sleep
until I kill them

and cut a cross
on their chest.

We're gonna use crosses.
You see anybody else doing that,
let me know and we'll kill them.

- We'll sue them.
- Uh, churches.

I could only get
the R�sum� Wizard open,
so I typed it up that way.

But otherwise
I think it's good.

If you guys wanna proofread it
before you sign it, I don't
give a shit. That's fine.

Most of the harsh language
inside this thing
I pulled out of pirate books.

I got some out of
the Old Testament.
I don't think Jesus would lie.

But in practice
we're gonna be
mostly nonviolent.

- We're gonna sign in blood.
It's best if you do it--
- Uh, Tom, I don't--

I'm gonna quit now.
I'm quitting preemptively here.

Thought this whole thing
was like Amway or Herbalife
or something, man.

Which I'd totally be into.

But, uh--
I'm gonna go check on Amy.
All right?

I'm sorry.

Do we have to kill him?

No, he-- he's letting us
use the basement.

All right,
who's with me and Huck?

Tom, can I talk to you
out... side?

Yeah. Yeah.

Sure.

See that?

Trojan's Hammer.

Listen, uh...

You know I appreciate
you including me in all
of your plans, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

But I think, um...

I gotta go straight.

You know, 'cause--
'cause of jail.

Jail. Jail. Jail?
I can't--
I can't go back.

Over my dead body, man.
You're not going back to jail.

I've got the perfect thing
to help you go straight.

It's enough money
to buy an island.
It'd be you and me, man.

I'll be president
of the island, or king.

I don't know what
the leadership structure'll be,
but you could be my prince.

Or comptroller.
I don't know
what the jobs will be.

But we'll be
drinking rum janglers.

I want a real life,
Tom.

You know?
I want a family.

I can't end up
like my dad.
You got a family. Me.

Us orphans
need to stick together.

Let me give you
the future you want.

That's all
I've ever cared about--
us getting the lives we deserve.

Man, if you knew
what I knew,

we wouldn't even be
having this conversation.

What do you know?
Let me show you.

And then you decide.

(scoffs)
Okay. Okay.

(woman, man
arguing loudly)

- Tom.
- I want you to tell them
what you told me.

HUCK:
Hey, Muff.
How's it going, Muff?

Muffin.

So this is the crew.
TOM: Yeah, this is
Tom Sawyer's gang.

If anybody asks.
D-Don't tell anybody.

That's on
a need-to-know basis,
and nobody needs to know.

Go ahead.

(clears throat)

Well, we all know
the pawn shop

is a holding area
for dirty money
and stolen goods

that need to get cleaned
and distributed.

Yesterday morning

they got something
a little more special
than Granny's stolen necklace.

Way better than...
what your grandma
would buy.

Yesterday morning

Injun Joe
brought something by.

(scoffs) Yeah, right.
Injun Joe is not even real.

Excuse me?
He's made up.

- Hell he is. I know the man.
- Disagree to agree.

Huck and me saw him
when we were kids.
I tell you that all the time.

- I knew that. Sorry.
- Why would he keep anything
in an old pawn shop?

Here's the real news.

The way I hear it, he's got
something so valuable he don't
know how to turn it over.

The way I hear it,

he's got Murrel's treasure.

What else could it be?

Everybody knows
Injun's spent his whole life
searching for Murrel's stash.

And there's nobody
protecting it?
Nope.

Just sitting in the safe
below the counter.

No guards, no nothin'.

But nobody else
knows about this.

TOM: Good. Good.
You're gonna get
your share.

No shit.

This is it.

You sure
we can trust Muff?

Oh, yeah, man.
Muff's legit
as a witch's titty.

He used to hang out
with Injun Joe until
they had a falling out

'cause Injun started
cutting the tops
of people's heads off.

But we gotta get it
tomorrow morning, man,
before Injun comes back.

You promise
you've really seen him?
Yeah, man.

- He's, like,
seven feet tall. Awesome.
- He's a big guy.

He's a white guy.
Not even Indian.

Why do they call him
Injun Joe then?

Guess he identifies
with the culture
and aesthetic.

Isn't that
kinda racist?

How is it racist
to want to be more
like another race?

BEN:
"Injun" is racist.
That's kind of a slur at the--

Imagine if you were,
like, Spic Kenny, Jap Tony.

"I'm just paying homage
to Japanese culture."

- It's racist to spend this
much time talking about it.
- All right, what's the plan?

Operation
Mexican Shadow.
10:00 AM.

TOM: I'll enter the pawn shop,
acting as if I'm just there
to do some shopping.

10:05 AM.

Ben will enter,
also pretending to be
a normal, civilized shopper.

10:07 AM.
Huck Finn, the Red-handed,

and Joe Harper,
the Terror of the Seas,

will be dropped off
by a Mexican man
in a rental van.

Who is this Mexican,
you may ask?

9:22 AM.

Huck and Harper will pick up
a random day laborer
from the rental spot

and ask him to drive the van
they will have just rented,

saying neither of you
can drive

because of
Operation Iraqi Freedom
injuries.

You will speak
only in "espa?ola"

as you rob the treasure
and safe contents.

When the money
is in the bag,

Joe will cue Ben,
our civilian do-gooder
come to save the day,

by saying
"Dead men tell no tales"
in Spanish.

Halt!

What's my name in it?

I don't know.
It doesn't matter.

It's not a part of
the-- the speech.

Huck and Harper
get cool nicknames.
Why can't I get one?

We use your name.
You're the civilian
do-gooder.

- Then I join up with you.
- No, you get taken hostage.

And then I come out
and save the day.

My presence keeps them
from calling 911,

while Ben being held hostage
gets you out of there

without me having
to arrest you.

I see the Latino driver
and remember hearing the robbers
speaking Mexican

and say the suspects
are three Latinos.

The Mexican driver,
who knows nothing,

drops you off, returns the van
and makes the easiest
30 bucks of his life.

Then, when Ben Rogers
is "let go,"

(applause)
he corroborates my story.

Operation

Latin Darkness.

The name's not set.
I haven't decided what
the name is gonna be exactly.

Still working on that.

Does this mean
we are literally gonna
hold up this pawn shop?

We'll be outlaws.

I would rather be
an outlaw for one year
in Sherwood Forest

than president
of the United States

for infinity.

And it's Murrel's treasure.
We've been looking for this
our entire lives.

And now is our chance
to go down in history
as the gang that found it.

What do you think, Huck?

Tomorrow morning.

We need to be
at our best.

So let's first
get this Huckleberry Finn
welcome-back party

up on its feet.

(warning bell dinging)

(alarm clock bell ringing)

(ringing stops)

(groaning)

Tom.
In my office.

I'm, uh--
I'm actually on my way out.

I'm granting your wish
for more responsibility.

Huh? Well, I don't
want responsibility.
I want to be a detective.

- You're getting a rookie.
- What? Who is this guy?

Becky Thatcher?
You may have heard
of Judge Thatcher, her father.

My guess is that Ms. Thatcher
will be out of here and in law
school by the end of the year.

But in the meantime,
she's riding with you.
Cool. That'll be great.

- She starts with you today.
- What? No.
That doesn't work for me.

- I'm in a... j--
- Look after her.

Oh, and your brother
is being given the keys
to the city by the mayor,

in case
you want to watch.

Fuck that shit.

Tom Sawyer?

Uh, Becky Thatcher.

I'm Becky Thatcher.

- You're Becky?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay. Okay--
Yeah, I'm Tom.

(stammering)
I'm your Tom--
I'm your boss.

We're--
We're partners, right?

(exhales)
If that's what they want,
that's what you shall do.

- What?
- (clears throat)

It's not a sentence.

I'm-- I'm very excited
to get to work with you.

Hey, someone
just puked in the hall.

So... shall we
hit the road?

Um... no. No.

Uh, I, uh--

I have to drive alone.
For a minute. Just a minute.

So if you wanna be in here,
you can get your bearings
in the break room.

Well, I-- I think I'm--

I'm good
with the break room,
you know.

Enchant�.
After you. Enchant�.

(mutters)
Jesus Christ.

Hey!
What are you doing?

I know, man. I'm late.
I slept through my alarm.

We're supposed to have
the driver and the van by now.
I'm sorry!

I think I break-danced
too hard last night.
You got masks?

What is that?
What about stockings?

Why would I
have stockings?
Why would you-- Bags?

Why do you have bags?
Because
I just went shopping.

Get in the back.

Hola. Hola.
Hi. Hi.

(Spanish)
You drive a car?

S?.
(Spanish)
No, not your truck.

I'll give you
treinta d?lares--
(Spanish)

?Treinta d?lares?
Yeah.

(Spanish)
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

(Spanish continues)
It's okay.
She won't care. It's fine.

(laughs)
You can finish later.
Come on.

Buongiorno.

Let's drive.
Drive, drive, drive.

Um, wait.
(Spanish)
(engine cranking)

Like turn.

So you, uh--
you wanna be a cop?

I am a cop.
Yeah. Cool.

That's great.
I'm a cop. Gum?

No, thanks. I'm good.
To be honest,
this is not my normal duty.

Typically, I'm handling
homicides, you know.
Missing persons.

- Oh, really?
- Normally I'm more
of a detective.

So... c'est la vie.

Not supposed to chew gum
if you have braces.
You ever have braces?

When I was a kid.
I wanted braces
when I was a kid.

My aunt told me
I don't need them.
Now I do.

Like I'm gonna walk around the
police station with braces on.
Spare me the trouble.

You worry about the braces.
I'll worry about
the missing persons.

Are you nervous?
No, I'm good.

Good. I'm good.
I'm good too.

I'm just trying
to get to know you.
I have a lot of interests.

Like dual lives.
Two completely dual lives.

Like a lover
and a fighter.

And a detective.

I'm gonna have to make
a quick stop on the way.

(bell dings)

This is where
you need to stop?
Have to go to the bathroom.

At a pawn shop?
I always go here.

Why didn't you go
at the station?
What? I did.

Listen, could you
just watch the car?

Wait here and watch the car
for two seconds.
I'm gonna be two seconds.

Okay.
Okay.

(exhales)

(bell chimes)

(sighs)

I'm just doing a little
on-duty shopping.

Um, you guys... got this.

(door opens)
(bell chimes)

(whispering)
Hey.

Hey, Ben. Ben.

Oh, um-- Listen. No.

Ben. Don't look at me.

What are you doing?

You said don't look at you.
I was looking at this.

We gotta cancel.
I have a girl with me.

- Is she your girlfriend?
- Maybe.

I don't know.
We just have to cancel.
That's good.

I got so drunk, man,
I can't even remember
the whole plan.

Can I help
either of you guys
find anything?

Huh? What? No.
I don't know him.

- I'm just passing through.
- Passing through?

Yeah. If that was even me
that you're thinking of.

- I don't know him.
- The name's Greg.

Greg Knife.

Great, Greg.
Well, good to meet you.

Both.

Just gotta make a call.

Sorry. Does that
sometimes. I'm sorry.
Harper!

(speaking Spanish
slowly)

I'm not good
with Spanish.
It's fine, it's fine.

Leave the car running
for one second.

Get it running, okay?
?S??
S?.

We're picking up supplies,
and neither one of us can drive
'cause of Iraq. Let's go.

- (buzzing)
- Leave the phone.
We're late. Let's go.

(door closes)

You've reached Joe Harper.
Leave a message.

Hey, Harper.
We gotta cancel.

We need to call it off.
Call me back.

- (bell chimes)
- (screams) Mexico!

?Dinero!

- Aaah!
- Dinero.

Dinero. Dine--

Shit.

Uh--
(Spanish)

?S?!
Money, jewels, pronto!

Listen, dumb-ass.

The last time somebody
tried this, they got
their hair cut real short.

- Do you know what that means?
- Uh, no ingles.

(speaking Spanish)

Just--
(Spanish)

(fake Spanish)

"Coka-roka."
(reading Spanish)

(Spanish)

Dead men
t-tell no tales, man.

No. Nobody needs
to get hurt.

My name is Greg.

A civilian!

(whispering)
Why is he wearing a mask?
I don't know.

What are you doing?

Freeze, Latinos!

(stammering in Spanish)

- Don't hurt the hostage.
- He's not a hostage.
He's wearing a mask.

No, he-he-he's
an innocent civilian.
And he has a skin condition.

No one has to get hurt.
I'm trained for this.
Just cooperate, okay?

I got it under control.

You're making
a big mistake, boys.

- Freeze!
- Stand down, Becky!
Stand down. Stand down.

These guys have a hostage.
These Mexican guys
have a hostage.

Come on, come on.
Let's go.

Follow us,
and we shoot him.
Caliente.

Be "el cool-o."
Nobody has to get hurt.
Let's be calm.

And no one kills anybody.

Good. Buono! Buono!

Station 1,
this is 6-Charlie-6.
We have a--

Wait. No, no, no, no.
What?

The main Mexican's put
a gun to the guy's head.

If you follow him,
he'll kill him there.

We just--
We let them go?

(tires screeching)

Goddamn it!
Seems like they'd be
in a rental van.

BEN: They drove me out
to the middle of nowhere,

took the blindfold off,
then they let me go.

The three...
Mexican Latinos.

Did you notice
anything specific
about the men?

Any tattoos or markings
or piercings?

Yeah, they had tattoos
and piercings and stuff.

So they had all three?
Yeah, I think so.

One of them had a tattoo
of the Spanish flag

and a mermaid
riding a snake.

So how does a mermaid
ride a snake, exactly?

Sidesaddle.

Sidesaddle,
so it's snake, saddle,

mermaid... chillin'
in the saddle.

Directin',
whippin' for speed.
Et cetera.

- (whispers) Stop.
- Sidesaddle.

So the snake
had a saddle on it?

- Yeah, I think so.
- Can you describe the saddle?

It's, uh, brown.

It's brown.
Tom, do you need
to be here?

Yeah. No.

Uh, are you mad at me?

Uh, no. I was--

I was exercising.
You were great.

I should have been there
for you. I could have
helped you, and I didn't.

No, you're fantastic.
You know, you were
on time with a gun.

I just-- When hostages
are there, you can't
do it different than that.

I will be better
from here on out.

No, Becky,

I think you're terrific,
and I'm glad that
we're gonna be partners.

Tom.

Uh, will you take
Mr. Knife home?

If you wanna get a Moped,
I'm not gonna stop you.

(chattering continues)

- What are you doing?
- This is the meeting place.

Uh, no. I'm not
doing the... thing.

You said we could use
the man cave. You can't
just take it back now.

That was
a one-time thing.
All right?

Well?
It's okay.
It's all right.

Nobody knows anything.
Knows anything
about what?

What the hell happened?
Where'd the other cop
come from?

Don't worry about her.
Cop? Hold on.

- She was gonna shoot us.
- Am I an accessory to murder?

- I tried to call you.
- Should I have not
joined up with you?

- You answer that question.
Do you think so?
- I needed a name.

- I'm not being an accessory.
- Enough, enough, enough. Quiet.

Nobody got caught, okay?

We got the treasure, right?

We were waiting
for you.

What is that?

Uh--

All right.

Let's do it.

Okay.
All right.

Let's see what we got.

Ready?
Yeah.

Where's the rest?

Where's the gold
and shit?

I'll bet that's not
even $200.

TOM:
Did you rob him right?

'Cause I said
it was in the safe
under the counter.

They went in the safe.
We got everything they had.

This is--
Well, it's not bad.
It's not bad.

I would say this is
more than $200.

Look at that.
That's no ordinary coin.

That's not precious metal.
That's pewter.

Shit, man. That's not
even a Susan B. Anthony.

All right, Huck, let's--
let's divide it up.

Divide up what, Tom?

The spoils, man.
Everybody gets their share.

Their share of what?
Of Murrel's treasure?

- This isn't
Murrel's treasure, Tom.
- 250.

It's pocket change.

Muff led us on.

You gonna divide that up
into four shares?

- Five.
- Five?

- Muff still gets a share.
- I'm out of here.

- Wait. Huck, come on.
Huck. Huck.
- Who gives a shit?

You know what?
Let's do this later.

I'll hold on to this.

Huck!

Do we kill that lady
he lives with now?

Told you so.
Told you so. Told you so.

Meow!
Meow.

Meow. How did you
climb up here?

Coming into your house.
I didn't want to wake up
the old lady.

We have to look at this
for what it really is. Okay?

We had an adventure.
Nobody got hurt. We're all
a few bucks richer.

Tom, the situation is,
we put ourselves
in danger again.

For nothing.
We got some money.

There's no money!
I have to pay Jorge.

I gotta give him $30.
The driver.

I'm barely gonna
break even on this.

All right. Well, you
can be the one who gets
the special coin then.

The woman I live with
keeps telling me
that I need to change.

(scoffs)
She says if I don't change,

I'm gonna end up
in a bad place.

Told her
I wished I already was
in the bad place.

She's tryin' to sell me
on heaven.

She's telling me
that all you do all day

is you play a harp,
sit there and sing songs
for all eternity.

And I said to her,
"If that's the case,
I'd rather sit there

and sweat it out in hell

with my best friend
Tom Sawyer

than play the harp and--
and shoot the shit with Moses."

- I'm not friends with Moses.
- Exactly, man.

You're not friends
with Moses.

But...

I do think she's right.

At least about
the changing part.

I just--

I gotta be through
with this.

- Through with what?
- I just got out of prison, Tom.

And today,
I came this close

to going back.

For what?
For a couple of bucks?

A couple of bucks
and a rusty coin?

Hmm.

I guess just, uh...
dig a hole

and drop me
inside of it.

Throw some gasoline on it,
throw some fire on it,
throw a grenade on it, kill me.

I don't wanna live
a life like that.

Just going with the flow,
you know?

Never doing anything,
just hoping you get by okay.

When I die,

I want there
to be a parade.

I want the newsman to say,
"We just lost
the number-one best guy,

Tom Sawyer, child prodigy,
grown-up genius, American hero."

We look over
at the weather girl.
She's crying.

We look over
at the sports guy.
He's crying.

He doesn't cry.
He's a sports guy.

But he's crying because
Tom Sawyer died, because
he did something with his life.

Lot of people don't care
what happens in life.

They just want ham
on their pizza.

They want to watch teenagers
get voted off of contests
on television.

But you and me,
we're not like that.

You and me are the types of guys
that other people
tell stories about.

We're the types of people
who are gonna be remembered.

As what?

As heroes.

Heroes.
(laughing)

It's true, man.
I'm just calling it
the way I see it.

You got a way
about you.

A way
of turning things.
Yeah.

A way of turning...

a pewter coin into

buried treasure.

What's the matter?

I've seen this.
Seen what?

This.

I've seen this symbol.

I've seen this. It's, uh--
I've seen this symbol
in-- in the graveyard.

I saw this symbol
on a tombstone.
I've seen it.

What if Muff was wrong?

What if it's not
Murrel's treasure
in the pawn shop?

What if it's a clue...
to finding it?

That means
Injun doesn't have it.

Are you kidding me?
No, no.

You genius.
He's still
looking for it.

You child prodigy.
You American hero.
Injun's looking, same as us.

(laughs)

(laughing stops)

(laughs)
That's funny.

He was telling a joke
from the Bible.
It was a good Bible joke.

(TV playing, faint)

(banging on door)
(Injun Joe)
Muff!

(banging continues)

You messed up, Muff!

(banging continues)

Muff!
(banging continues)

You messed up bad, Muff.

(banging continues)

Muff!

HUCK:
I think it's up this way.

TOM:
I've never been
in an orgy.

HUCK (laughing):
What made you think of that?

I think it's just seeing
all these people on their backs,
so close together.

- What kind of person
likes orgies?
- Pirates, man. Hands down.

No pun intended.

Those guys, if they weren't
setting shit on fire or robbing
banks, they were having an orgy.

Is that true?
Yeah. That's breakfast
for a pirate.

Those guys wake up,
have coffee,
then they have an orgy.

See, I don't think
I'd like it.

Think it'd be too easy
to get confused.

Yeah, but you gotta realize,
all intimacy is like that.

Huck.
Shit.

No, no, no, no--
Ohh!

Huck.
Shit.

He beat us to it.
Uh, Tom--

There's gotta be
some coins in here
or something.

They were just here.

(whispers)
Shit.

- (exhales)
- (winces)

What is that?

It's me
almost getting murdered.

No, Tom.

What is that?

Let me see that.

Huck. Huck.

This is like
an old-timey treasure map.

I'm dreamt about
stuff like this.
Talk about pirates!

I'll bet you anything
that these keys
open up a safe

or a chest or...
something in a cave

marked on this map.

Why's the treasure in a grave?
There was no treasure
in the grave. No.

This is what pirates do.
They leave a map or a code
that needs to be ciphered.

This is typical,
classic pirate bullshit.
Fell for it again.

Do you think Injun Joe
was here?

Maybe.

But whoever was here,

they don't know
where the treasure is
and we do.

We do.

- (shotgun cocks)
- You'll be coming with me.
Now.

Station 1,
this is 6-Charlie-6.

We have a possible 211
at pawn shop on St. Petersburg.

(whispers)
Crap.

(man muttering
in Spanish)

Ah, yes, yes.

(whispers)
Shit.

Freeze!

You are under arrest for
the robbing of this pawn shop.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say now
could be held against you
in a court of law.

I got you.

(Spanish)

Is no problem.

Don't come any closer, sir!
On the ground!

Hands in the air.

Please put your hands
in the air.

(whimpering)

My family, se?orita.
My family.

Is no problem.
Please.

Well, you do
have a problem, sir,
I'm sorry to say.

(sighs)

Now,

I can help you find the number
for a Spanish lawyer
that might be able to help you.

Uh...

Everything's
going to be okay.

Don't move.

(man muttering)

(muttering)
Here we go.

Here we go.

Come on.
Keep goin'.

Keep going.
Go on.

All the way to the back.

(doors swinging closed)
Go on.

Sir, I'd just like to say
that somebody else
dug that hole.

The phone's upstairs.

You open this door

even a little crack,

I will plug your ass.

Whoa.

(sighs)
We should go.

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa. Whoa.

You'd be better off
showing yourself.

You hear me?

I know you're in here.

And if you're in here,
you better--

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Look what you did, Muff.

You killed him
and anybody else who dies

'cause you opened
your big mouth.

Well, they're
around here somewhere.

So let's find 'em.

Joe. Over here.
I found a trail of dirt.

Over here.

Hopefully you ain't
wasting my time, Muff.

�� (phone: melody)

�� (stops)

�� (resumes)
You hear that?

Go on, Packard.

�� (continues)

HUCK:
Turn it off!
Turn it off!

TOM:
I'm trying!

�� (stops)

�� (phone chimes)

Let's go.

(gunshots)

(gunshots continue)

Get in! Get in!

God! Oh, shit.
(chuckling)

That was him, Tom.
Oh, my God.
That was Injun Joe.

FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
You have a new mail message.

BECKY:
Tom, I got the driver
from the robbery.

Call me back.

Shit. My partner
got your driver.

- What?
- You know what?
He takes the fall.

He didn't have a gun.
He's an illegal. Those guys
get pinched all the time.

They get a slap on the wrist,
they send them back.

Shit!
It's not okay, Tom.
He knows me.

What do you mean,
he knows you?
I mean he knows me.

- He works for the widow.
He knows me.
- What was the plan, Huck?

Day laborer.
Mexican stranger.
I know, and he was--

A stranger!
He was a stranger.

- A Mexican stranger.
- I know the plan!
He is a stranger!

- How is he a stranger
if he knows you?
- We ran out of time.

How is he a stranger
if he knows you? Shit!

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. I'll call her.

(line ringing)

Hello?
Becky.

Tom. I got him.

You're not gonna
believe this.

He came back
to the scene of the crime.
I called it in.

Becky, just wait.
If the other squad car comes,
tell 'em to wait.

Just have everyone, uh--
Operation Mexican Wait There.

(siren wailing)

Wh--

He said to wait.

(siren continues)

- What are you gonna do?
- I'm working on it.

(siren approaching)

Hey.
Hey. Let's go.

What?
The other station called,
told me to pick you up.

We gotta go, okay?
After I talked to you?

I'll explain everything
on the way, okay?

(Jorge speaking Spanish)
Ready? One, two.

You're gonna be okay.
We're gonna get you home.
Who's this?

Special Agent
George Jackson.
Special agent?

No problem, Jorge.
No, no, no.

Huck, where am I going?

I thought his name
was George.
It is.

I just didn't-- I was like,
fuck, where am I going?

- You know?
- (phone buzzing)

Oh, no, no.
Who is that,
your boyfriend?

Look, there's no-- no calls.
Uh, no phones.

You're not gonna
believe this, okay?

You've just been roped
into one of the most secret
missions of all time.

This guy George Jackson
is under cover.

This Mexican,
he's his top informant.

You bring that guy in,
you blow the whole thing.

Oh, my God.
No, no, no.

I'm so embarrassed.
Don't be embarrassed.

If I saw this guy,
I would have arrested him.
You couldn't have known.

It's all right.
Says it's a cave, Tom.

I don't-- I don't know
what it means by-- by a cave.
There's no cave around.

There's gotta be a cave.
There's no cave
around here, Tom.

There's gotta be, Huck.
George.
Okay, wait a minute.

(speaking Spanish)

That gotta be Old Main
If that's Old Main,
then that's Sherburn Way.

By the river.
Old Main and Sherburn Way.
Old Main and Sherburn Way.

Okay. All right.
I'm just gonna make one more
phone call, and then no phones.

You've reached Joe Harper.
Leave a message.

Harper? Uh, yeah, it's Tom.
Listen, um, we know
where the rest is.

Okay? So meet us
at Old Main and Sherburn Way
in 30 minutes.

And pick up Ben
and meet us there.

- Who's that?
- Another detective.

This case is huge
and totally secret.

(sighs)
Geez Louise.

�� (country on radio)

Huh?

(door closes)

Sorry to interrupt.
My name is Joe.
What's your name?

Joe.

That's pretty interesting, man.
We got the same name.

We're in the same car.

That's life, I guess.

Three meals a day
and funny moments like these.

You're, um--
You're Injun Joe.

Some people
call me that.

Why do they call you that
if you're not even
native Indian?

I guess I just identify
with the culture
and the aesthetic.

Isn't that
kind of racist?

(sighs)
How is it racist
to want to be more

like another race?

Yeah.

Where are your friends?

Please. Please.
(whimpering)

All right.

Oh, take it easy.
We're just talking.

I'm gonna tell you
something true from my life

that might bind us closer.

When I was young,
I lived on the street.

Mostly under
the Hannibal Bridge.
You know the bridge?

This man came around.

He was offering me a job.
I did the job and I did it good.

One day, the man decided
I was no longer useful.

So, he and a couple
of his big boys

took me back to that bridge
where I used to sleep

and they put a bullet
in my face.

Right here. There.

You see the scar?
Yeah.

Not this scar.

This one came later.

I'm telling you about
this one 'cause I think
it's more relatable

to what's going on now.

- Boom.
- (gasps)

But here's the thing, Joe.

I lived.

For some crazy,
freak-of-nature type thing,
I survived.

And I got better,
and I got healthy again,
and you know what?

I pulled myself up
by the straps of my sneakers

and I went down to where
that man liked to hang out

and I scalped him.

I cut his hands off
and I took his eyes out,

and that's how I got
this other scar.

(whining)
I got so carried away
I didn't realize

I was cutting myself
along with the man.

But in the end,
here's the thing.

I lived, and he died.

You see what I mean?

All we can do
is... what we can do.

The rest is pretty random.

You may get out of this maybe,
and maybe I won't.

Who can tell
what's gonna happen?

Joe, you just tell me
where your friends are,

and you can walk away
from this.

Shh, shh, shh.
(gagging)

Peaceful.

�� (women yodeling)
Peaceful.

- This isn't right.
- It's where the map
says to go.

- (train bell ringing)
- All right. Let's, uh--
Let's check it out.

What are we doing, George?
There's nothing here.
There's no cave.

I don't know.

Okay. Why don't we, uh,
uncuff the Mexican.

Huh? Okay.

Huck, we gotta be fast, okay?
I'll keep her out of the way.
I might get her a room.

What's going to happen here?

Well, me and my associate,
we have a, uh, meeting

with the cartel.

This place is hot
with cartel like crazy.

So we're gonna keep you
out of the way.

We should get you in a room
where you can lay low.
Anything I can do to help?

You could lay low.
That would be great.

You can do us proud.
Just go lay low.

Okay. Okay.
It'll be good.

(bell ringing)

TOM:
Hi.

My, uh--

My wife, Roxanne, and I
would like a hotel room

for, um-- for, uh,

20 minutes.

- We can do that.
- Great. Thank you.

I'll let you sign.
Okay.

I'm gonna give you
the corner room.

The owner
used to live there.
Oh.

He's dead.
The bed is small,
but there's a bathtub.

There. Oh, wow.
That's...

old-fashioned.

Sure.

There's gotta be a cave.
There's a cave on the map.

Cave on the map.
Think, Huck. Think, Huck.

Uh-- (speaking Spanish)

Okay?
(Spanish continues)

We're gonna get you home.
Right after we
find this cave.

What? ?Qu�?

God.

Jorge, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have--
Stupid.

I shouldn't have--
Yeah.

I'm gonna get Tom.
(Spanish)

Be right back.

So, what are we
supposed to do now?

(train bell dinging)

Um, I might have to, uh,
just pop out,

have a quick word
with Agent Jackson
about the mission.

Some first day, huh?

First date?

Did you say
"first date"?

First-- First date?

Yeah.
No.

No, I said "first day."

(laughing)
First--

First date!
First date!

Yeah, right.
Oh, my God.

Quite-- Quite a first day
as partners.

Oh.
I mean--

Yeah, I wish this was
just a date.

I don't know why
they placed me with you.

I mean, uh, because of
all the intense detective
stuff they have me doing.

- I'm glad we're together.
- Yeah.

I'm glad they
put us together.

It's just
the timing is crazy.

It's--
It's crazy, the timing.

Can I make a confession?

Yeah.

I asked
to be placed with you.

- What?
- (chuckles)
Yeah.

You just--
You just seem different.

I don't know.
It just seems like you
want to do something big.

Like more than
the status quo, I guess.

Yeah.
I mean, that's, uh--

That's classic me.
I just feel like that's
the kind of guts it takes.

You gotta--

You gotta go
for stuff in life.

You know?

"First date."

What part of this--
I was like, what?

I'm over here wondering
if you do have a boyfriend.
Have you been engaged?

No, I do not have
a boyfriend.

Just a new partner.

What-- Becky.

What is this?
The room key.

This is the room key?
Uh-huh.

I didn't--
This is the room key?
Yes.

This is what
the room key looks like.
That's what it looks like.

This is what
the room key looks like.
Yes.

Can you wait here?
Just wait here.

Tom!

Tom!

Huck, this is what
the room keys look like.

Look at this.
Cavern's not a cave.

Cavern's a hotel.
This place used to be
the Cavern Hotel.

This is the cavern.
We're in the cavern.
Yeah.

The treasure is here.
Yeah.

The treasure is here.
Let's go find it.

You go upstairs, okay?
You try the doors.

I'll do the doors
downstairs.
All right.

Let's go.
Okay.

Okay.

(door opens)

Hey, uh, we had a break
in the case,

and I just gotta see
if there-- if there, uh--

if they're gonna put the bugs
and the drugs--

The cartel might have
ended up showing up.

Okay. Do you need help?

No. No, no, no.
I can do that.

Yeah. You just wait here,
and I'll be right back.
Okay, partner?

(key rattling)

It's in our room.

- You think I'm
some kind of idiot?
- Oh! Oh, God!

What are you doing? Ow!

You want to do good?
You want to be a hero?

Ah. Becky, don't--
What am I doing?

Look at me.
Oh, my God.

Oh, God!

- (grunting)
- Okay.

Okay, I'm sorry.
It's a secret mission.
I wanted to tell you.

Uh--

Listen, don't call the police.
Don't call the police.

I'm the cops. I'm the police.
Oh, witches' tits!
Witches' tits!

(clears throat)
Yes, hello. This is
Officer Becky Thatcher.

- I have an emergency.
I'm in a hotel off Old Main.
- (whimpering)

(voices chattering)

- Something's wrong.
- Will you be quiet, please?

We gotta-- We gotta
turn out the lights.

Tom!

- Everything you say is a lie.
- Becky.

- Tom.
- Uncuff me.

Uncuff me, Becky.
We're in trouble.

(door opening)

- Becky.
- (gasping)

(gunshot)

Becky. Becky.
I'm gonna get us
out of here, okay?

Just throw me the keys,
and I'll get us out of here.
Becky, stay with me.

Jorge? Jorge!

(speaking Spanish)

You gotta go.
(Spanish)

Huh?

(shotgun cocks)

(gasping)
(clicking)

Okay, Becky.

Hang on.

Okay. Hey. Hey.
I'm gonna die.

No, no.
You're not gonna die.
I'm gonna die.

(inhales)

Hold on. Wait here.
I'm gonna be right back.
I'm gonna be right back.

Joe, we gotta get movin'.
Cops are comin'.

Gonna move out the window.
You can do this.
You're doing great.

(clicking)

(sirens wailing in distance)

(running footsteps)

(Huck gasps)

(sirens growing louder)

Hey, Muff!
Stealing a police car
is a federal-- Shit.

Sorry, Tom.
Sorry.

(groaning)
It's okay.

You're gonna be okay,
all right?
Police are comin'.

I'm sorry.
Stay. I'm scared.

Here! Here!

HUCK:
Meow.
Meow.

Tom!

You okay? Good.
Help me with this.

Come on.

- You got it?
- Yeah.

Let's go.

- (siren wailing)
- We got company.

Floor it. Floor it!

Let's go. Let's go!

Let's go.
He's coming.

He's coming.
Go. Go, go, go.

(tires screeching)

How 'bout here?
Get it.

Shit. Go!

(gunshot)

Exit!
Where's the exit?
Here, here, here!

�� (Muzak)

Let's go.
Harper!

- We gotta--
- It's Harper.

What?
It's Harper.

We gotta go! Let's go!
Go, go, go, go!

Go! Fuck!

- Is he all right?
- I think he's dead, Tom.

No, no, no, no!
Not-- Not now! Come on!

Shit!
(engine cranking)

Start it. Start it, Tom!
Shit.

(whimpering)
Oh, no. No!

Get back.
Please, please!

Pow.

(engine cranking)

(gunshot)

Oh!

- (gasps)
- (all screaming)

He's alive!
He's alive!

He's alive!
He's alive!

Needs a key.

(clicks)

It's gold.

Gotta be millions.

We can count it
later.

Harper,
you got your cell phone?

We should see if people
are saying anything about us,
make sure Becky's okay.

Oh, there's something here
about the hotel shooting.
Ah, let's see.

"In an absolutely
shocking case--"
So on and so forth.

Okay, here's Becky.

"Officer Becky Thatcher
was wounded in the shooting,

but is in stable
condition."

Does it say
about me saving her?

Here we go.
"Details are unclear
at this time,

but Officer Thatcher implicated
fellow police officer Tom Sawyer

as being involved
in a robbery earlier
in the morning.

Officer Sawyer
and his cohort,

a career criminal,
Huckleberry Finn,

are believed dead

after being pursued by police
called to the scene."

Wait a minute.
Did you say "dead"?

Yeah, you guys are dead, man.
Says you drowned after driving
your squad car into the river.

My car.

Muff and that
Frankenstein guy stole it.

Shit. They must have drove it
right off that bridge.

Is there anywhere
in there where it
covers me carrying her?

I carried her.

Kind of goes more into, like,
an opinion-oriented slant
as it goes on.

Like how people sworn
to protect and serve

being on the other side
of the law

are the lowest kind
of people in the world,

and corruption--

Honestly, I--
It's not even factual.

This guy--
Just one guy's opinion.

It says here, "The only man
in custody at this time

is a Mexican immigrant
named George--"

Geez.
TOM:
Jorge. It's Jorge.

Jorge. Apparently,
he's to blame for
a good bit of it too.

Lowest--
Lowest kind of--

Are you insane?

We got the treasure,
didn't we? Hmm?

Doesn't mention that.

That's the news.
That's the headline.

Yeah. Yeah.

So they think we're dead.

Okay. Okay.

Blessing in disguise.

We are dead.

The old Tom Sawyer,
Huck Finn and Joe Harper
are gone.

This is our funeral.

And a new beginning.

You're dead, Joe.

You're the pastor at your
funeral. Eulogize yourself.
Depict your legacy.

You know, Tom, honestly,

before you got
the gang together,

I was all just, you know,
being a hermit and dying alone
in this unfeeling world.

But then you gave me
the opportunity to try pirate,

and I can't really see myself
doing anything else.

So, I guess I'd just say,

"Here lies Joe Harper,

in heaven, with God.

Great job."

Good.

Good.

I'll go.

Well, Tom Sawyer's dead,
is he?

Yes.

Here he lies in heaven
with Jesus,

misunderstood
in all of his glory.

Someday people will look back
and they'll say,

"Wait a second.

He was the best.
He got the treasure.

He loved Becky.

He was a hero.

He just didn't get
a chance to prove it."

The end.

Hero?
(laughs)

Heroes are good guys.

You're not a hero.

I'm not a hero.
You're not a hero.
We're not heroes.

We lie, we cheat,
we steal,

we hurt people.

That's not
what heroes do.

People got killed, Tom.

Your partner
almost got killed.

Not to mention Jorge.

That guy, he's probably never
gonna see his family again.

You know
whose fault that is?
It's ours.

We took an innocent man,

and we used him up.

- I don't have to
listen to this shit.
- Don't walk away. Hey!

Don't walk away.
(grunting)

Huck!

(groans)

(sighs)

You're right.

You're right.

You're right about me.

I care about you, Huck.

Since we were little,
I wanted our lives
to be magic.

I'm trying to
make our lives magic,

and I just get caught up
and I get caught up
and I get stuck.

And I'm sorry,
and I'm--

I'm sorry.

Tom, I need you to know
that I do appreciate

everything that you've
done for me.

When we were kids,
with my dad--
I appreciate it.

But I think me and you--
I think we gotta be done.

I think we gotta go
our separate ways.

What will you do?

Well, first I gotta figure out
what to do about Jorge.

Can't just leave him.

Let me help you.

I'll help you do something good,
and then you don't
have to see me again.

You don't have to
ever see me again.

Okay.

(chuckles)

Goddamn it.

We're going to have to
get the whole band
back together.

(groans)

(phone ringing)

Best Auto.

(tool whirring)

(banging)

Tom's getting the band
back together.
I'm not in the band.

He needs us.
This is a rescue mission.

Operation
Mexican Sunrise.

Aaah!

Hi.
I'm Detective Sid Sawyer.

I just have
a couple of questions
about Jorge Jiminez.

- (phone rings)
- Best Auto.

It's for you.
Yeah.

This is it.
It's happening now, okay?

You have to get to
County Road 414 by the
oil field in half an hour.

That's impossible.

I'm following your lead, Huck.
That's the story--

You got a car?

- Yep.
- I'll be there.

You think you'll be able
to get 'em to give him to you?

I'm Sid Sawyer.
I've got the keys
to the goddamn city.

Excuse me there.

What are you looking for?
My badge. I thought
that maybe I left it--

Sid, what's going on?
Station 12 just called.

Said you were there
asking about Jorge Jiminez.

More, more. Close.

More.

Perfect.

(exhales)

(sighs, exhales)

Here we go.

They're coming, they're coming,
they're coming, they're coming.

(arguing)

These short shorts cut off
the circulation to your brain,
you idiot!

Hey, lady.
Can't you drive a car?

Did you get
your driver's license
in China?

Shit.
They're going around.

Hit me.
What?

Hit me.

Harper, hit me!

Ow! Aaah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

You kidding me? Hey!
Step away from the woman.

All right.
I called the accident.
The police are on their way.

You don't friggin' move,
asshole.

Not one friggin' step.

(siren wailing)

Hi. Don't be nervous.
I'm, uh-- I'm Sid Sawyer.

Listen, I need to
take your prisoner.
There's a change in plan.

The mayor's furious.
Everybody's upset.

But I need him in court
in 15 minutes.

You don't know who I am?
No.

I'm Sid Sawyer.
I have to take him.

MAN (on radio):
Suspect impersonating
Detective Sid Sawyer.

Suspect last seen at Station 12
wearing tweed blazer

with blue button-up and tie.

Hey! Hey!

Hands on your head.
Back away from the car.
Let's go.

- Uncuff him.
- On your knees. Let's go.
On your knees.

- Just relax.
We're having fun.
- Hola, Jorge.

Been worried
about you.

Okay. We got you.

Cuff yourself.

Come on, Jorge.
We're getting out of here.
Let's go.

All right.
You're doing a great job.
Come on. Go.

Good job.

(muttering in Spanish)
I think we're okay.

I don't see anybody.

Let's go! All right.
Let's go, let's go!

Hey, guys, somebody
was following us.

- We were being followed.
- (tires squealing)

We were followed.

Be careful. Be careful.

Goddamn it.

All right!
We know you're in there.

So come out with your hands up,
and nobody gets hurt.

All right, listen.
This is your only shot.

I need you to come out
with the prisoner,

with your hands above your head,
and no one's gonna hurt you!

Tom, please.

No.

Barnes, you don't know
about any of this, okay?

All right?
We just stormed in here.

- What are you thinking, Tom?
- I'm going out there.

You guys wait for me.
I'm gonna pull 'em around
to the front.

- You guys slip out the back.
- What are you talking about?

They think there's four of us.
I'll give them four of us.

Element of surprise.
Element of surprise.

Harper, grab those mop heads.
We're gonna make some hairdos.
Be creative. Go for it, okay?

Tom. We should
all go together.
What are you doing?

It's not gonna work, man.
Gotta have some distraction.
You should know that by now.

Let me do it.
I got this one.

It's pretty
goddamn heroic, Tom.

Come on.
What are we waiting for?

You got any clothes
or rags that look like clothes?

We have jackets.
That's a type of clothes.

Ben, grab the jackets
underneath the lift
over there.

Hey, Ben?

- Give this to Becky Thatcher.
- SID: Nobody needs
to get hurt today.

All right. You hear me?
I know you stole my badge.

I forgive you.
Just come out,
and we'll talk about this.

Meow.
Meow.

(slaps car)

(engine starts)

Hey, Huck.

- Don't get caught this time.
- Yeah.

- Let's go. Let's go.
- (engine revs)

Tom, everybody else
is coming. At that point,
there's nothing I can do.

- Go, go.
- Goddamn it, Tom!

(tires screeching)

(gunfire)

- SID: Oh, cease fire!
Goddamn it, cease fire!
- Go. Go.

Do not move!
I said stand down
and cease fire.

On the ground!
On the ground!

I said
get on the ground!
There you go!

Tom.

Ambulance!
I need an ambulance!
Now!

HUCK (narrating):
Tom took the fall
to get us out of there,

and we did get out.

Nobody ever knew the others
were involved with any of it,

so they went home
with a bit more money
than they started with.

MAN (singing):
� I know Cleo �

Jorge and I took a long trip.

I can't say it was all easy,
or without adventure--

� She's mine �

But that's another story
for another day.

� And I love her �

I explained Murrel's treasure
and how whoever found it
wasn't stealing it.

Figured that way,
he'd accept a parting gift,

something to try
and make things right
after what we did.

I still wonder
what's happened to Tom,

where he is,
what he's doing.

I bet he'll make
a real go of it in the pen.

Be against his nature
to not be the most popular
prisoner they got.

I imagine he's probably
just about got his own servants
and everything.

No shortage of visitors either.

Or maybe
it's just the same one

over and over again.

Or maybe when
they saw all the noble,
heroic stuff he'd done,

they realized
he was like Robin Hood

and, well,
they gave him a pardon.

Maybe the mayor
even promoted him
to chief detective

and gave him
the key to the city.

Nothing would surprise me
with Tom.

Nothing but magic.

As for me,

I figure
I'll keep my eyes open
for something.

Maybe a shot
at a family someday.

Find some place
where I truly belong

that's good and that's right.

Until then, I-- I don't know.

I guess I'll just wander on.

� Sandra, Sandra
sings a bird song �

� Flies so much
Her wings are strong �

� Take the sky down
from the flyer �

� Let her down
And my fun is gone �

� All the junkies left to cry �

� All the junkies
wave good-bye �

� Laugh and cry �

� Heavy to light �

� When the earth dies,
we'd wished we'd died �

� Need to find my Latin lover �

� And to find my powdered wig �

� When the police
tear us in two �

� I'll wear the costume
I'll dress in it �

� All the jailbirds
left to cry �

� All the jailbirds
say good-bye �

� Laugh and cry �

� Heavy to light �

� When the earth dies,
we'd wished we'd died �

� Laugh and cry �

� Oh, laugh and cry �

� And say, say good-bye �

� When the earth dies,
we'd wished we'd died �

� No fun ��

No fun!

�� (ends)

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