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1
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,851
LANA: Archer, do something.
ARCHER: Sure thing, Lana.
2
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:13,139
Oh, wait, I can't, because I left my
lightsaber in my other space pants!
3
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,603
Don't yell at me, this was your idea!
What?
4
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,485
Remind me, when was it
that I said, "Guys, great idea.
5
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:21,614
Let's get shanghaied
to go live on fricking Mars!"
6
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:24,616
KELLOGG: Keep moving.
Make me-- Ow!
7
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,652
Heh, heh. He said "meow."
8
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,698
Moving. Yes, and how can I help you
not ever do that again, please?
9
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,458
Get in there.
In here sounds great.
10
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,795
Are the cuffs really necessary?
11
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,752
Archer broke both of Wu's arms.
12
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:41,463
He what?
While shouting "whoo!"
13
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:42,968
Happy coincidence.
14
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:47,176
Mr. Archer, do I have to sedate you?
Well, I wouldn't say no to a drink.
15
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,966
Archer.
What, you want one?
16
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,634
Okay, can we get two, um...
17
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,429
My tongue says sangrita,
but my heart says...
18
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,847
Archer.
...michelada.
19
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,482
You realize this is kidnapping.
I do, yes.
20
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,770
And do you realize you're insane?
He wouldn't, by definition--
21
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:05,783
What's more insane? Suffering through
famine, war, disease on a dying Earth...
22
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,615
...or creating a utopia on Mars?
23
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,326
Using me as
your brood sow?
24
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,991
No, not--
Well, okay, yes, technically.
25
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:18,162
But we searched for so long to find
the perfect human female specimen.
26
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,456
Well, that's
flattering-ish.
27
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:24,001
And with your morphology,
your IQ, your medical history--
28
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,090
How'd you get
my medical records?
29
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,052
Don't judge me on the how,
until you see the why.
30
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,261
31
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,560
Oh, Krieger-san!
I never judge you!
32
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,847
Well, your mother
sure as hell does!
33
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,687
How isn't important.
What is important--
34
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:43,150
ls you hired ISIS just so Lana could
pump out a bunch of Martian babies?
35
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:48,614
Only if by "Martian" you mean "born on Mars,"
not actual alien life forms.
36
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,277
Oh. Whatever. Either way.
37
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,038
My point is this whole thing is Lana's fault...
What?
38
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:56,541
...and you don't need more dudes on Mars--
Archer!
39
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:00,705
Lana, the penis-to-your-vagina ratio
around here is creepy enough already...
40
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,544
...so why not let us three go--
41
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,175
I'm afraid that's impossible.
Or just me.
42
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,133
Because even if we didn't need
all the manpower we can get...
43
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,423
...there's no ship
to take you back to Earth.
44
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,057
Yeah, no, the shuttle, it's--
45
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,059
It's going to push the Horizon
into orbit above Mars...
46
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,392
...to serve as our base
while we begin the terraforming.
47
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,681
Which reminds me.
48
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:23,478
Commander Kellogg, there are
three women on the Intrepid.
49
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:27,148
Take a boarding party and bring themback here to join their friends.
50
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,907
Holy shit-space!
51
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,943
Hey, guys. we got a problem!
52
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:34,613
Duh. The party's starting, and this
dress makes me look like a whore!
53
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,782
Oh, you don't look
like a whore.
54
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,495
An idiot, maybe.
Wha--?
55
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,751
Or both.
56
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,663
Yes, a "whordiot."
57
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,581
58
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,495
DRAKE:
Agent Kane, I--
59
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,209
May I call you Lana?
60
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,874
You absolutely may not.
61
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,463
Fair enough,
but I wish you'd reconsider.
62
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,924
You'd be much more
comfortable in my quarters.
63
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,589
Ha! You'll have to sedate me.
64
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,223
No, no, no, we wouldn't do that.
65
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:39,137
We need you in peak physical condition
for this great undertaking of ours.
66
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,349
All of you.
67
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,140
So wait, are we not doing drinks?
68
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:47,652
Ha! I'm not helping you terraform Mars.
I won't move one cup of dirt.
69
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,154
Can we at least have beers?
70
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,985
Then you can join the, um...
71
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,072
Well, we're calling them
"involuntary laborers."
72
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,949
lnvol-- Wait, you mean slaves?
73
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,488
Oh, now he's indignant.
74
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,658
Please, all you have to do
is sit around all day getting laid.
75
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,327
Involuntary labor is just
a temporary measure.
76
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,667
In a few generations,
after the colony is established...
77
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,083
...we'll revisit the issue.
In the meantime--
78
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,922
You can kiss three-fifths of my ass.
79
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,257
KELLOGG :
Uh, Tony, we've got a problem.
80
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,093
Ugh. What now?
81
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,677
I'm on my way.
82
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,013
And the black guy
is okay with this?
83
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:23,056
Ugh.
What? Oh, for-- How was that racist?
84
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,100
It's just a temporary measure.
I didn't say anything.
85
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,110
Hello, uh, miss?
This is Commander Kellogg.
86
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,239
I need you to move the locking lever
from "manual" to "auto."
87
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,866
PAM :
"Auto." Got it. Moving the lever.
88
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:38,032
Uh, clunk. Did that do it?
89
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,697
KELLOGG:
Did you move the--?
90
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,206
Boring conversation anyway.
91
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,741
What the hell are you doing?
92
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:46,538
These nutsacks wanna take us
to Mars to be baby factories.
93
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:47,795
Really?
94
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,049
I can't go live on Mars.
I just rented a summer house.
95
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,960
Really?
96
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,298
No.
97
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,216
Oh, whatever. Come on,
we gotta figure a way out of this.
98
00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,758
Or do we?
99
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:00,972
ARCHER: Yes.
LANA: No!
100
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,728
Why is nobody else wearing
a T-shirt under their suit?
101
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,310
Because this thing feels amazing.
102
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,773
I know, right?
It's like a vagina with a zipper.
103
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,404
Ew.
Lana, trust me, this is the only way.
104
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,985
Ugh. All right. But turn around.
105
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,277
"Turn around"? It's not like
we haven't all seen them before.
106
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,116
Don't remind me.
107
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:21,913
Okay, there.
108
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,495
Although, I guess it has been a long time.
109
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,750
Meaning?
110
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:30,164
Nothing, just bet you're glad
we're in reduced gravity.
111
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,331
112
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,421
Well, I didn't invent the ravages of time.
113
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,176
Okay, Ray, Cyril, get ready.
114
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,179
Lana, uh, pretend it's five years ago.
115
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,763
I wish it was, so I could murder you
before we ever dated.
116
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,141
Uh, excuse me, could I borrow you?
117
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,476
No, you cannot borrow-- Oh, my God!
118
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,061
LANA:
Yeah, right?
119
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:50,896
Okay, what seems to be the--?
120
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,106
121
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,270
GUARD:
Aah! My eye!
122
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,689
ARCHER:
Somebody get his goddamn gun!
123
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,279
LANA: Oh, for the love of--!
ARCHER: Ow! You dick!
124
00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,442
125
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:00,781
GUARD:
Ow! My other eye!
126
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,446
I'm almost certainly blind.
127
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,785
Serves you right. Anybody else hit?
128
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,621
No, I'm good.
Yeah, uh, me too.
129
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,330
That's because you hid, Cyril.
130
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,837
Otherwise, I think that all
went pretty great.
131
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,122
Right?
LANA: Really?
132
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,291
ARCHER:
Heh, heh. Do you not'?
133
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,050
"Do you not?"
Just give me the damn--
134
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,256
135
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,547
T-shirt.
Sorry, it's been commandeered.
136
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:24,719
What the hell am I supposed to wear?
Uh... Oh, maybe this will work.
137
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:28,230
Yeah, I think that totally works.
Stole them from the gift shop.
138
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,982
If you're done being an asshole,
help me strip this guy so I can--
139
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,142
140
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:35,279
What the--?
COMPUTER : Security breach, Pod 6.
141
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,984
We gotta move! Come on!
142
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:38,819
Lana, let's go!
143
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,984
Wait! Let me just get-- Damn it!
144
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,446
145
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,372
Ow.
146
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,657
147
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,826
Well, now they're droopier.
148
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,666
Aw.
149
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,625
COMPUTER :
Security breach, Pod 6.
150
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,509
DRAKE:
No, no, no, now what?
151
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,171
Security breach, Pod 6.
I heard you.
152
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:05,309
I don't care if you have to use
the plasma torch, get this door open.
153
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,346
Security team, this is Commander Drake.
Converge on Pod 6.
154
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,639
You heard him,
get this door open.
155
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,478
Sure thing, boss man.
156
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,939
Oh, my God, for the last time--
157
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,694
We can't...
158
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,067
...fight them off.
159
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:22,405
That's what Dad said when the bank man
came out to foreclose on the farm.
160
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,202
And guess how that turned out.
161
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,034
You murdered a banker?
162
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,823
No, we got a loan modification.
163
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:32,165
You think a bank wants to own a failing
dairy farm with obsolete milkers?
164
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,170
Oh, my God, speaking of--
165
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:37,173
They're right where they've always been.
166
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,380
Wait, can she hear us?
Man, I hope not.
167
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,045
Lana.
Guess not.
168
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,385
ARCHER : Will you come on?
Grr!
169
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,265
Don't get me wrong.
I'd still do her.
170
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,097
Oh, please, you'd do...
171
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,476
Name a noun.
172
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,229
No, you look.
173
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,857
You look at these
and tell me they're not perfect!
174
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,232
Now? Really?
175
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,066
Jesus God, are you that insecure?
176
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,357
No! I'm not! Because I am--
Ready!
177
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,571
Oh, man.
Uh, thoughts?
178
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,237
Through there! Go!
Uh, nope.
179
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,701
Aim!
180
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,366
Why not?
It's full of, ugh, garbage and shit.
181
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,206
You got a better idea?
182
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,247
Well, we could eat a big bowl
of hepatitises A through E.
183
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,585
Or just run away.
184
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,751
Just because it was my idea, you--
Guys.
185
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,339
GUARD:
Fire!
186
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,594
Oh, shit.
187
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,723
KELLOGG:
What's taking so long?
188
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:28,929
Couple things.
189
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,595
One, I didn't invent whatever
this door is made of...
190
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,685
...which is apparently some alloy
of adamantium and mithril.
191
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,850
And two,
not really liking your tone.
192
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,769
DRAKE:
Ugh, you idiots.
193
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,610
Firing an ion cannon
at the future Mother of Mars?
194
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,366
Whose idea was that?
Ahem. Dave's.
195
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,120
Oh. Well, that's just great, Dave.
196
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:54,536
Tell me, if you kill her, who's gonna
bear our Martian children? Huh? Trish?
197
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,286
Ew.
Ew.
198
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,127
Archer! Sorry, go on, Trish.
199
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:04,136
We've been locked in here
ever since you idiots took over Horizon.
200
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,967
Tone.
Yeah, sorry.
201
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,724
But Drake wants to use the Intrepid
to push Horizon to Mars...
202
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,635
...so tell us how we can stop him.
203
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,601
Yeah, can Cyril die after shutting
down the tractor beam, or...?
204
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,938
Ugh! The Intrepid is the key to Drake's plan...
205
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,980
...and he and Kellogg are
the only ones who can fly it.
206
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,820
So why aren't
you A-holes down there?
207
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,825
Heh, heh. Burn.
Cyril.
208
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,657
Although, good point, Trish.
209
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,572
Okay, to the Intrepid. Let's go.
210
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:39,872
Oh, and, Trish? Uh, with your looks,
maybe bitchy is not the way to go.
211
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:43,508
GILLETTE:
Okay, you're the prettiest! Come on!
212
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,670
I thought I'd made myself very clear.
You did, but--
213
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,306
Then why isn't the airlock open?
214
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,346
Dwarven technology.
215
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,853
What was that? What did you say?
Tony, stop.
216
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:59,517
See? Now we just wait for Mr. Archer
to save the day, like he always does.
217
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,400
I don't know about always but--
218
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,152
Are you sure they can't get in?
219
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,563
Didn't you hear him? He said--
220
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,776
221
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,159
DRAKE: Say "dwarven technology" again!
What the--?
222
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,571
Stop this at once.
We command you.
223
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:13,829
I'm sorry?
Unh.
224
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,037
Wait, we're sorry. Aren't you guys
looking for a new Martian queen?
225
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,292
PAM:
Goddamn it.
226
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,375
Why, yes, and you're...?
Your Majesty.
227
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,040
Your Majesty.
228
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,379
And you're just so...
229
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,135
What's the word
I'm looking for?
230
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,297
Don't say "whordiot." We hate that.
231
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,965
Majestic.
Right.
232
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:36,012
Now follow me. We got a big list
of must-haves for the royal palace.
233
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,101
Uh, your wish is my command.
CHERYL: Duh.
234
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,438
Seal the door behind me
and prepare Horizon for launch.
235
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,023
Next stop, Mars.
236
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,030
Okay, you heard him.
Uh, I heard him tell you to do it.
237
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,736
And I'm telling you to do it.
238
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:53,324
And I'm telling you that I didn't
sign up for Animal Farm in space.
239
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,159
Wait, there are animals?
240
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,164
No, Animal Farm.
241
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,577
How do you not get that?
Cyril, I know what an animal farm is.
242
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:01,995
Not an animal farm.
243
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,507
Maybe we can, I don't know,
stampede a flock of goats down the hall.
244
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,212
Animal Farm is a book.
245
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,922
No, it isn't, Lana.
246
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,261
It's an allegorical novella
about Stalinism by George Orwell!
247
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,517
And spoiler alert, it sucks!
248
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:20,647
Although I was talking about
an actual animal farm.
249
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,773
So never mind.
250
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,061
Oh, don't mind me, ma'ams.
251
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,571
Just adjusting the climate control.
252
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,028
Ooh, yes.
Another palace must-have.
253
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,070
Now, we heard some
mention of babies?
254
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:38,081
Uh-huh.
But just to be clear, we don't do babies.
255
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,707
"Do" as in...?
256
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,789
"Do" as in tolerate, be around, touch...
257
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,125
...and as in let them claw
their monster-y way out of our vagina.
258
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,006
Well, let's put a pin in that.
259
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,417
Ew!
260
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,960
Wait, put a pin in what?
261
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,800
What? What is wrong with you?
And where are the other two--?
262
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,009
263
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,549
Right here, space-nuts.
264
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,968
Pamela, stop.
Your queen commands you.
265
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,637
Oh, please, you're not fit
to be queen of...
266
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,555
Name a place.
Lidsville.
267
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:08,274
And, Drake, you can forget all about
your crazy little Martian sex cult.
268
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,779
Ugh. It's not--
269
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,781
Don't you people get it?
270
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,442
Earth is doomed.
271
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:18,489
Mankind's only hope for survival is
to find a new home on Mars...
272
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,704
...and I am the only man alive
who can lead us there.
273
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,493
I am like, uh...
274
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,583
Jesus Christ.
275
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,339
Well, I think a more apt analogy
would be Moses, but--
276
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,341
Drop your weapon.
Make me.
277
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,377
No, don't make her.
Come on, Pam.
278
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,635
Pam, shoot!
279
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:34,842
Mother!
Malory!
280
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,927
Pam!
MALORY: And she'll do it too.
281
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,765
CHERYL: She'll do anything to keep us
from the throne which is our birthright.
282
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,349
Ew, birth.
283
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,691
All right!
No, no, no. What are you doing?
284
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:53,232
No, no! No, even if they kill me,
they can never kill our dream.
285
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,608
Mars!
286
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,652
Uh, hang on, sorry, one sec.
287
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,663
Drones? You wanna...?
Thank you, thank you.
288
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:01,869
289
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,954
Thanks a lot. Thank you.
290
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,712
There is no Mars without you,
Tony. I'm sorry.
291
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,707
Sorry? You're sorry?
292
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:14,719
You just single-handedly doomed mankind!
293
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,848
Even so, black astronaut, that's pretty huge.
It actually is.
294
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,726
And at least your own mother didn't
just play chicken with your life!
295
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,558
Heh, heh. Self-burn.
Cyril!
296
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:29,852
Drake, you're gonna fly us back to Earth
to stand trial for, whatever, space piracy.
297
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,112
No man can judge me.
298
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,522
Well, you say that, but--
299
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,986
Mars forever!
300
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,571
301
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,327
Suppressing fire!
302
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,237
CHERYL:
Cyril, stop!
303
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,324
304
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,164
I think I got them. Did I get them?
305
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,797
You did. You got those two guys,
who were just minding their own business.
306
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:55,506
Ooh. And also the one remaining person
who could fly us back to Earth!
307
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,672
A black astronaut, Cyril.
That's like killing a unicorn.
308
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,261
Aw, crap-snacks!
How could this get--?
309
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,268
Don't say it! Do not say it!
310
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,267
MAN :
Gone to outer space
311
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:11,685
To shoot that dickbag in his face
312
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,898
313
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,529
Hang on, Other Barry.
314
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,813
Uh, this is Barry.
315
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,824
Hey, pumpkin pie! What's that?
316
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,704
No. No, I'm in, uh, London for wor--
317
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,954
What?
318
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,492
Heh, Katya, pumpkin, I promised
I'd stop trying to kill Archer.
319
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,784
320
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,795
Yes. Yes, both Barrys promised.
321
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:36,630
What? Wait, what's wrong
with the sofa we already have?
322
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,012
Oh, hey, hon, you're breaking up.
323
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,798
324
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,265
Any worse.
ls what I was gonna say.
325
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,804
Really?
326
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,681
Yes.
327
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,865
ARCHER:
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
328
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,112
329
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,446
Hello, is this airboats?
330
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,237
Yeah, hi, it's me, Spacebot.
331
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:09,126
What? Oh, just lifting a thousand pounds
like it's an apple, no big deal.
332
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:13,629
Archer! Quit screwing around with the robot
and shut the damn airlock already!
333
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,665
ARCHER:
Five more minutes! God.
334
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,631
What's the hurry?
We're all gonna die up here anyway.
335
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:19,885
336
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,138
We're gonna die!
337
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,765
We're not gonna die!
Stop crying!
338
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,019
For what it's worth, I think you
would've made a great Martian queen.
339
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,645
Duh!
340
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:30,851
Okay.
341
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,732
LANA: Yeah. So, Trish?
What?
342
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,017
Still with the tone.
343
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,312
ARCHER:
Okay, the airlock's closed. Happy?
344
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,527
So, seriously, none of you
know how to fly this thing?
345
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,786
No. We're scientists. We never
even trained on the simulator.
346
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:48,198
The simulator.
Guys, I can fly us home.
347
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,707
I will fly us home.
348
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:50,867
Wait, what is this?
349
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,080
350
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,290
And that?
351
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,705
But right now this?
352
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:58,125
He was really good in the simulator.
Right up until he crashed it.
353
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,670
Thanks to you and your fire extinguisher.
Right?
354
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:02,962
Okay, then it's settled.
355
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:06,224
So, Trish,
Horizon is self-sustaining, right?
356
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,259
Duh.
Well, then, have fun.
357
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,894
Wait, wait, wait!
358
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,807
Uh-- Never mind. I'm sure someone
is gonna feed the farm animals.
359
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,475
360
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,904
Cyril, you're in command, try not to kill us.
Everybody else, strap in.
361
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,188
Really?
362
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,777
I said in, not on.
363
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,658
Oh.
And ew.
364
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,909
And-- Malory!
365
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,416
I'm going into stasis.
Wake me up when we're on the ground.
366
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,545
Preferably above 72nd Street.
367
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,750
368
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,335
What is that? Who's got beer?
369
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,421
BARRY :
Archer!
370
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,261
Come out to play.
371
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,511
ALL:
Barry?
372
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,594
Come on out, Archer.
I mean, I'd come in, but. ...
373
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,431
Yeah. Who built this door,
space dwarves?
374
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:53,938
Okay, Barry. Forgetting for the moment
how you found me here...
375
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,435
HOLOGRAM:
Krieger-san!
376
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,770
377
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,731
You wanna finish this?
378
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,237
Yeah, I do. Yeah. That's why I'm here-
379
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,772
Not for long, you're not.
380
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:06,785
Where do you think you're going?
Uh, this place called to kill Barry.
381
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:12,291
Every time y'all fight he beats you like
the redheaded stepchild of a rented mule.
382
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,950
No, he doesn't.
383
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,460
CYRIL: Yeah, both head and ass.
PAM: Pounds you like meat.
384
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,623
Look, look, look. Hang on, hang on.
385
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,962
There we go.
Look, check this out.
386
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,967
Look. Yeah.
387
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,753
Oh.
You can wear this.
388
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,968
My God.
I know. Right?
389
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:32,135
Evil Cyborg versus Spacebot. Love it.
390
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,644
This is gonna be--
391
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,977
And I hate this word, Barry,
but this is gonna be epic!
392
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,891
I'll be right--
LANA: He can't get in here.
393
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,356
So the only reason
to go out there is your ego.
394
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:45,114
Not just my ego, Lana,
Spacebofs ego.
395
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,490
And a giant ass-whipping.
396
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,743
I can take him.
Did you not see those claws?
397
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,949
Please. We just
want to go home.
398
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,035
But Spacebot...
399
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:56,326
Jesus, think about someone else
for once in your life!
400
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,085
And that's her
saying that.
401
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,666
Exactly.
402
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,003
Domo arigato, Archer Roboto
403
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,509
ARCHER: Uh, Barry?
Yo. Yeah, let's get it on, brother.
404
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:09,514
I, uh... I can't get it on.
405
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,300
What? Come on.
Maybe next time, sorry.
406
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,185
Hey, don't do that, don't apologize.
Sorry.
407
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,224
I mean, if you're having
a legitimate problem with your vagina...
408
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,143
...that you have between your legs
in lieu of a penis...
409
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,109
...I completely understand.
And you need to deal with that.
410
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,773
Honestly, we can do this another time.
411
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,941
412
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,276
Archer?
413
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,703
414
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,614
Next time, Barry.
415
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,375
Sterling, I know I may not say this very often--
Or ever.
416
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,536
Well, congratulations,
you ruined it.
417
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,171
But I'm still very proud of you.
418
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,673
Aw.
419
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,379
Ass.
420
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,090
COMPUTER :
Docking coupler disengaging.
421
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,381
CYRIL:
Okay, folks, next stop, planet Earth.
422
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,551
MALORY: Just try not to kill us all, Cyril.
Mother, please!
423
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,472
Don't listen to her, Cyril,
you're gonna do great.
424
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,481
Hey, thanks, Archer.
425
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,392
You know what, just for that...
426
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,399
ARCHER: What are you doing?
CYRIL: Heh, heh, heh. You'll see.
427
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,063
COMPUTER:
Ignition.
428
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,903
BARRY:
No!
429
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,157
430
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,665
ARCHER:
Now who's got a vagina problem?
431
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,243
PAM: Me.
ARCHER: Ew.
432
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,417
How am I gonna get home?
433
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,419
COMPUTER: Fifty meters.
LANA: You're doing great, Cyril.
434
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,257
Almost there.
435
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,093
So let me take this baby on in.
What are you doing?
436
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,257
Archer, stop it!
ARCHER: Let me land it!
437
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:40,225
Archer! You had, like, an actual moment
of self-awareness in space, so--
438
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,232
So I deserve to land the goddamn spaceship!
439
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,269
ALL: Aah!
COMPUTER: Sink rate, sink rate.
440
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,530
ARCHER: Cyril, it's all you, buddy. You got it.
Climb, climb.
441
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,691
442
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,073
MALORY:
Item four:
443
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,283
444
00:19:56,445 --> 00:20:00,450
Until further notice, no more health
insurance claims will be accepted.
445
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,961
LANA: Aw. Come on, really?
MALORY: Don't blame me.
446
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,248
Yeah, Cyril crashed the damn thing.
447
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,757
448
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,292
449
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,926
Oh, come on, Ray.
What's the big deal?
450
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,136
You already had the chair!
451
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,360
Hey, did I tell you guys I got a goat?
452
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:11,896
33823
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