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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,647 --> 00:00:19,646 ** 2 00:00:19,647 --> 00:00:22,150 When I made love to him 3 00:00:22,191 --> 00:00:26,154 I dwell in the mystery of our oneness. 4 00:00:26,195 --> 00:00:29,449 It was a feeling so spiritual 5 00:00:29,949 --> 00:00:32,388 It was as though I should remove my shoes 6 00:00:32,414 --> 00:00:34,730 in the presence of the holy. 7 00:00:35,829 --> 00:00:37,320 With my lips. 8 00:00:37,873 --> 00:00:41,335 I traced my name upon his skin, 9 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,574 and I'd find God there. 10 00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:47,674 With my heart pressed against his chest 11 00:00:47,716 --> 00:00:50,635 his breath breathing life into my soul, 12 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,934 I could live again. 13 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,481 I'd see my lover there. 14 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:59,341 And no longer was it, that I want him, need him 15 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:01,038 or loved him, but that... 16 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,895 ..I was him. 17 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:12,280 This was Chris, my mission companion. 18 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,242 Five years ago, we were separated, 19 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,744 after it was discovered, that we were slightly more 20 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,745 than just mission companions. 21 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,998 I was immediately sent home, 22 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,754 and Chris was allowed to stay in Clackamas Falls. 23 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,795 But we kept in touch. 24 00:01:28,457 --> 00:01:29,806 And after his mission, 25 00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:31,915 We went on a trip across America. 26 00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:34,923 We had time of our lives. 27 00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:38,229 For a few months, we weren't Elder Smith and Elder Merrill. 28 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,602 We had no obligations 29 00:01:39,628 --> 00:01:42,242 and no pressure from our families or the church. 30 00:01:42,929 --> 00:01:45,149 We were just Chris and RJ. 31 00:01:45,403 --> 00:01:48,143 On our own and loving every minute of it. 32 00:01:49,357 --> 00:01:52,109 After some time, we faced the reality, that we would 33 00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,111 eventually, have to go home. 34 00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:57,447 I drove into Salt Lake, Chris' home town. 35 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,921 We agreed to take care of our respective loose ends. 36 00:02:01,201 --> 00:02:03,835 And he talked about transferring to Poisy State with me. 37 00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:07,498 We kissed and said goodbye. 38 00:02:08,272 --> 00:02:10,569 And I went home to Idaho Falls. 39 00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:12,796 I never saw him again. 40 00:02:13,713 --> 00:02:15,901 I sent letters, I'd call... 41 00:02:16,841 --> 00:02:17,862 And nothing. 42 00:02:20,511 --> 00:02:22,762 If only I knew, what happened to him, 43 00:02:22,804 --> 00:02:25,599 then maybe, I'd have some closure. 44 00:02:27,329 --> 00:02:29,337 These days I live in Seattle. 45 00:02:30,145 --> 00:02:32,287 I'm neither Mormon, nor gentile. 46 00:02:32,939 --> 00:02:35,330 I was never formally excommunicated. 47 00:02:35,942 --> 00:02:39,361 I just stopped associating myself with the church at all. 48 00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:43,488 But... I still wear my temple garments 49 00:02:43,824 --> 00:02:46,223 I still have a food storage. 50 00:02:46,577 --> 00:02:48,785 And I still have a deep love... 51 00:02:49,204 --> 00:02:50,897 for our Heavenly Father. 52 00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,943 So, from what you've been telling me... 53 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,154 you've been working hard to stay focussed 54 00:03:02,162 --> 00:03:04,256 and maintain the standing of the Church. 55 00:03:04,594 --> 00:03:05,845 Yes, sir. 56 00:03:07,763 --> 00:03:10,668 Six months ago, I was intimate with my mission companion, 57 00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:13,145 even though I knew it was wrong. 58 00:03:16,855 --> 00:03:20,193 Do you still think that you are unfazed of same-sex attraction? 59 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,476 I am much stronger now. 60 00:03:33,287 --> 00:03:36,123 Would you like to continue your service to your Church ? 61 00:03:36,165 --> 00:03:37,146 Yes, I would. 62 00:03:37,474 --> 00:03:38,896 More than anything. 63 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:44,552 As I said before, 64 00:03:45,032 --> 00:03:48,412 our Heavenly Father doesn't present to us any temptation... 65 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:50,797 that we do not have the power to overcome. 66 00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:53,879 It's a choice, that we make 67 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:58,060 To act in virtue, or give in to temptation. 68 00:04:01,564 --> 00:04:04,942 Considering your humility and desire to do the right thing, 69 00:04:05,818 --> 00:04:08,207 I see no need for disciplinary action. 70 00:04:11,974 --> 00:04:13,020 Thank you. 71 00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:15,949 Thank you. 72 00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:10,990 It is an honor to witness two young people... 73 00:05:11,253 --> 00:05:13,576 So deeply in love, and so dedicated 74 00:05:13,577 --> 00:05:16,044 to the church and our Heavenly Father. 75 00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:19,962 Marriage is for eternity 76 00:05:21,691 --> 00:05:24,094 It is the love,that will last in this life... 77 00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:27,111 .. and the next. 78 00:05:37,642 --> 00:05:39,283 Your dedication... 79 00:05:39,908 --> 00:05:42,931 to the Church and to this family, has brought you here. 80 00:05:48,705 --> 00:05:50,707 You've been given a second chance. 81 00:05:54,492 --> 00:05:55,478 I know... 82 00:05:56,576 --> 00:05:59,004 that you have the courage... 83 00:05:59,507 --> 00:06:03,469 and the strentgh, to stay on the right track, this time. 84 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,055 I love you, son. 85 00:06:07,748 --> 00:06:08,893 I love you too. 86 00:06:09,485 --> 00:06:11,134 Now, what do you say, we get back in there and 87 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,870 join what's left of the party. 88 00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:20,259 I'm so sorry, Dad. 89 00:06:20,869 --> 00:06:22,767 I'm so sorry, for everything. 90 00:06:23,879 --> 00:06:25,223 Now, Chris... 91 00:06:26,574 --> 00:06:28,701 You've done the right thing. 92 00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:31,829 - Alright? - Yes 93 00:06:32,079 --> 00:06:34,482 I am so proud of you. 94 00:06:43,092 --> 00:06:46,220 - Are you okay? - Yes sir, I'm fine. 95 00:06:46,426 --> 00:06:49,818 I'm gonna go join the party. You take a minute. 96 00:06:51,389 --> 00:06:53,965 - Come when you're ready. - Yes sir. 97 00:07:59,702 --> 00:08:01,913 Okay, I'm gonna be late. 98 00:08:08,294 --> 00:08:10,527 You know I have somewhere else to be too. 99 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,032 I know. 100 00:08:18,888 --> 00:08:22,475 I have a meeting... in like 30 minutes. 101 00:08:23,976 --> 00:08:24,685 And ? 102 00:08:28,604 --> 00:08:30,168 - I got to go. - No.. 103 00:08:34,759 --> 00:08:36,664 You know I wrestled in Highschool... 104 00:08:36,982 --> 00:08:38,290 and College. 105 00:08:42,118 --> 00:08:44,202 Okay. Okay. 106 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,557 - Now, you shouldn't eat that stuff. - And why not? 107 00:09:15,273 --> 00:09:18,596 - It's loaded with sugar? - I like sugar. 108 00:09:30,286 --> 00:09:31,286 Thank you. 109 00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:51,951 - Want some? - No 110 00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:57,693 You know? I'm nervous about tonight. 111 00:09:58,147 --> 00:09:59,048 Don't be. 112 00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:00,683 Are you sure you ready for this? 113 00:10:01,483 --> 00:10:02,150 No. 114 00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:08,073 - You think it's time, they met us? - Yup. 115 00:10:09,491 --> 00:10:10,777 I gotta go. 116 00:10:11,688 --> 00:10:13,106 I'm gonna be late. 117 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,418 Bye ! 118 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:32,702 Sorry. 119 00:10:50,742 --> 00:10:51,812 Sorry. 120 00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,205 Hey, Rodney! 121 00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:05,710 - RJ? I'm his mother. - Oh... Well, how are you? 122 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,920 Unfortunately, very badly. 123 00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:11,536 I'm sorry to hear that... Is everything okay? 124 00:11:12,341 --> 00:11:15,410 Sorry RJ, But Rodney died. 125 00:11:25,087 --> 00:11:28,226 - You want some chicken? - Is really good! 126 00:11:28,972 --> 00:11:31,974 Amazingly good. You gonna love it. 127 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,946 Who is calling me? 128 00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,157 - I do not know. - Sorry. 129 00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:44,170 - You want one of Mummy's? - No, no? 130 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:46,993 Hello? 131 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,841 Speaking. 132 00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:55,090 Yes, Mam! How are you? 133 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,387 Oh no! 134 00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:06,300 Did I ever tell you about Rodney? 135 00:12:08,101 --> 00:12:09,144 A little... 136 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,324 I met him on my mission, with my mission companion Chris, 137 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:18,685 He was a veteran of Iraq. 138 00:12:19,487 --> 00:12:23,021 He had PTST, so 139 00:12:27,301 --> 00:12:29,502 We tried so hard to convert him, but... 140 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:35,396 We'd always end up hanging out and smoking pot.. 141 00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,593 He was always so accepting of Chris and I. 142 00:12:44,678 --> 00:12:46,429 Yes. 143 00:12:47,514 --> 00:12:49,266 You did talk about him. 144 00:13:04,487 --> 00:13:07,473 - Are you going to the funeral? - I think so. 145 00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:08,780 Okay. 146 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,918 Sorry, I'm late. How long are you waiting for? 147 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,777 About twenty minutes. 148 00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:25,419 - Hello, sorry. - It was nothing. 149 00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:27,881 Mom, Dad, this is Paul. 150 00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:31,597 - It's a pleasure to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you, Paul. 151 00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:34,640 - Hi - Hi. 152 00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:36,518 - Good to meet you. - Good to meet you too. 153 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:40,189 - So, how was your flight? - Bumpy. 154 00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:44,025 - Do I want to ask? - Yes, we will ask. 155 00:13:44,066 --> 00:13:45,924 What do you want to drink? 156 00:13:47,737 --> 00:13:50,946 - I mineral water.. - I Coca Cola. 157 00:13:50,947 --> 00:13:52,532 - Well, I drink. - Thank you. 158 00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:57,537 - So Coca-Cola? - Yes 159 00:14:02,154 --> 00:14:06,143 So... Mr. and Mrs. Smith, How long are you in town? 160 00:14:06,892 --> 00:14:09,358 - Just till Sunday evening... - We're just here for the weekend 161 00:14:09,384 --> 00:14:12,300 - We don't want to be in the way. - Dad you're not in the way. 162 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:15,679 - I do not know, we never hear from you. - Tom... - No! 163 00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,432 I'm not trying to start anything, I'm just saying, 164 00:14:18,474 --> 00:14:21,684 I wish to hear from my son more. I misshim. 165 00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,787 Mary Ann calls at least once a week. 166 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,670 - Okay, I'll check in more - That would be nice. 167 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:31,681 So Paul, what do you do? 168 00:14:32,195 --> 00:14:35,471 - I am a personal trainer. - Oh that's nice. 169 00:14:35,782 --> 00:14:39,076 - Paul is working on his MBA. - Oh really? 170 00:14:39,117 --> 00:14:41,620 Tell RJ that has to completing his masters. 171 00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:44,664 - I'll tell you the same. - Okay, okay. 172 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:48,318 Maybe at some point... but... Not now. 173 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:52,004 - And how's work? - It goes well, yes. 174 00:14:52,046 --> 00:14:54,709 I'm not independent, I am in the office too... 175 00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,633 But additionally nothing interesting. 176 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,228 I do not know. Nothing too exciting. 177 00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,344 How is the shop, Dad? 178 00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:05,883 Well. All is well. I can not complain. 179 00:15:06,936 --> 00:15:10,480 Do you know Mr. Smith, my father is a mechanic. 180 00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:11,799 Really? 181 00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:15,200 Yes, he works primarily on Swedish automobiles. 182 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:18,525 - Well... they know how to make cars... - Yes. 183 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,108 - Gloria? - Yes -. I'm RJ. 184 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,481 How nice to finally meet you. 185 00:16:46,695 --> 00:16:49,616 - I'm so glad you came. - No, I would not miss it for anything. 186 00:16:50,659 --> 00:16:54,970 You know, not many people knew and I did not go there often. 187 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:59,437 Nice to meet two of his good friends. 188 00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:04,128 - I also loved meeting her. - Thank you. 189 00:17:29,443 --> 00:17:31,194 Rodney was a complex man. 190 00:17:32,716 --> 00:17:34,864 And through the hardships that life threw at him, 191 00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:39,068 he had this amazing ability to make us laugh. 192 00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:44,916 Some of you may not know this about Rodney, but 193 00:17:44,958 --> 00:17:46,958 he was a religious man. 194 00:17:47,127 --> 00:17:50,213 Though he may not have considered himself, to be so. 195 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,551 Though he alluded the Doctrines of Faith, 196 00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:57,489 he embodied their essence. 197 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,755 And as a lifelong seeker, he had an amazing ability 198 00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:05,675 to help people find their way. 199 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,892 There is a heaven. 200 00:18:12,796 --> 00:18:14,532 And Rodney is there. 201 00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:18,279 - Amen - Amen. 202 00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:31,098 I'm sorry for your loss. 203 00:18:34,922 --> 00:18:36,072 Thank you. 204 00:18:41,677 --> 00:18:42,678 Thank you. 205 00:18:50,066 --> 00:18:51,318 RJ! 206 00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:55,399 I almost forgot to give you this. 207 00:18:55,441 --> 00:18:58,518 - He was going to mail it to you. - Thank you. 208 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:02,125 - You keep in touch now. - I will. 209 00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:04,996 I'm sorry your loss. I will miss him. 210 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,025 I am too. 211 00:19:08,954 --> 00:19:11,205 - Take care now, you. - I will. 212 00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:12,898 And don't open that here. 213 00:19:17,864 --> 00:19:20,464 - Chris! - Chris. 214 00:19:21,715 --> 00:19:22,883 Yes? 215 00:19:25,594 --> 00:19:26,971 How are you? 216 00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:31,918 Yeah, ehm... 217 00:19:33,017 --> 00:19:35,019 Can we go somewhere and talk? 218 00:19:36,437 --> 00:19:39,934 - What do you wanna talk about? - Maybe we can catch up. 219 00:20:14,431 --> 00:20:16,766 - Hi - Hi. 220 00:20:21,229 --> 00:20:23,471 What a day. 221 00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:27,535 Yes. 222 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,438 Did you get to speak to him? 223 00:20:32,781 --> 00:20:35,059 - To Rodney? - Yeah... 224 00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:38,537 No... not really. 225 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:41,572 I spoke to him a few times after the end of the mission. 226 00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:45,668 But we lost contact. 227 00:20:49,297 --> 00:20:52,675 - You talked to him? - A few months ago. Yes. 228 00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:55,804 - Sometimes I visited. - Great. 229 00:20:58,014 --> 00:20:59,932 I can't believe he's gone. 230 00:21:02,976 --> 00:21:04,773 Wish I had a chance to say goodbye. 231 00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:07,430 He had nothing but fond memories of you. 232 00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,944 It's good to hear. 233 00:21:14,696 --> 00:21:16,386 It's surreal, is not it? 234 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,450 Yes. 235 00:21:22,078 --> 00:21:25,308 Sitting here with you is very surreal. 236 00:21:26,348 --> 00:21:30,128 - How long has it been? - Five years. - Five years. 237 00:21:31,378 --> 00:21:34,922 - You did this? - I did it, but... 238 00:21:34,923 --> 00:21:38,476 I said a month or two or so and... 239 00:21:38,552 --> 00:21:40,321 - Ok -. Yes. 240 00:21:45,308 --> 00:21:46,723 Well, how's life? 241 00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:51,449 I'm happily married, I live in Salt Lake 242 00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,126 I have a little daughter, three years 243 00:21:54,127 --> 00:21:55,557 I can not believe that. 244 00:21:56,099 --> 00:21:59,256 I work in pharmaceutical sales, so... 245 00:21:59,476 --> 00:22:00,772 life's pretty good. 246 00:22:02,866 --> 00:22:04,731 - Are you married? - Yes 247 00:22:05,243 --> 00:22:07,218 She's amazing, she's like an angel. 248 00:22:07,829 --> 00:22:10,542 I don't have a picture to show, but... 249 00:22:11,624 --> 00:22:12,876 she's incredible. 250 00:22:15,170 --> 00:22:17,735 - I'm happy for you. - Thank you. 251 00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:23,163 What about you? 252 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,015 I'm the Earth and Culture editor at a Seattle magazine. 253 00:22:28,557 --> 00:22:30,001 Yes, and I've ehm... 254 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:34,604 I've written a couple of short non-fiction books. 255 00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:37,687 - Really? - Yes. - Can I find them anywhere? 256 00:22:37,802 --> 00:22:39,684 Yeah, they're in some bookstores. 257 00:22:40,597 --> 00:22:43,746 I haven't really inquired after all means of distribution, 258 00:22:43,772 --> 00:22:45,066 but yeah, they're there. - Oh. 259 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,567 - I'll look for them. - Cool. 260 00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:59,626 Are you seeing anybody? Or... 261 00:23:01,108 --> 00:23:03,311 - I've been seeing someone for a while. - Ok. 262 00:23:03,521 --> 00:23:06,054 - We are doing well. - What is her name? 263 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:09,116 Paul. 264 00:23:18,228 --> 00:23:20,104 It's reaslly good to see you, Chris. 265 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,031 It's good to see you too. 266 00:23:25,944 --> 00:23:28,483 I'm sorry it's under these circumstances. 267 00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:30,790 Yes, me too, but... 268 00:23:32,325 --> 00:23:34,386 our Heavenly Father had a plan. 269 00:23:39,972 --> 00:23:42,659 Listen, I hate to make this brief, but I have a really early 270 00:23:42,685 --> 00:23:45,500 flight tomorrow morning, and it has been a very long day. 271 00:23:46,505 --> 00:23:49,006 It looks like they're closing up here anyhow, 272 00:23:49,048 --> 00:23:51,353 so I'm going to bed. 273 00:23:51,379 --> 00:23:53,986 - But it was nice. - Yes, it was good. 274 00:23:55,555 --> 00:23:56,527 Can I walk you up? 275 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:59,132 You wanna walk me to my room? 276 00:23:59,273 --> 00:24:00,116 Yes. 277 00:24:01,435 --> 00:24:04,604 - Yes, of course. - Okay. Yeah. 278 00:24:05,321 --> 00:24:06,780 That'll be fine. 279 00:24:11,236 --> 00:24:12,237 Thanks, 280 00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:20,202 Well, this is me. 281 00:24:31,630 --> 00:24:32,840 Chris. 282 00:24:34,924 --> 00:24:37,219 Are you sure there's nothing else you wanna talk about? 283 00:24:38,386 --> 00:24:40,704 What exactly would you like to talk about? 284 00:24:45,977 --> 00:24:48,391 You can't just pretend, that nothing happened. 285 00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:53,233 R.J. 286 00:24:55,848 --> 00:24:58,043 Its good to see you, and I'm glad you're doing well... 287 00:24:58,155 --> 00:25:00,247 but I came here to pay my respects Rodney... 288 00:25:00,364 --> 00:25:01,270 So did I. 289 00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,620 Then I need you to respect that. 290 00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:09,196 Okay. 291 00:25:13,711 --> 00:25:14,962 Good night. 292 00:27:08,074 --> 00:27:12,074 ♫ ♫ 293 00:27:22,332 --> 00:27:26,376 ♪ I can withstand ♪ 294 00:27:26,752 --> 00:27:30,255 ♪ All tragedies ♪ 295 00:27:30,297 --> 00:27:34,218 ♪ And sins, inflicted ♪ 296 00:27:34,259 --> 00:27:37,755 ♪ upon me ♪ 297 00:27:38,007 --> 00:27:44,875 ♪ And sickness without remedy ♪ 298 00:27:44,901 --> 00:27:47,945 ♪ With my heart ... ♪ 299 00:27:48,356 --> 00:27:51,150 - Hey - Hey. 300 00:27:58,949 --> 00:27:59,866 Thank you. 301 00:28:03,036 --> 00:28:04,980 - Hope you don't mind I'm here? - No 302 00:28:18,092 --> 00:28:20,995 - How are you? - I'm good, how are you? 303 00:28:21,512 --> 00:28:22,972 Good. 304 00:28:24,841 --> 00:28:26,295 You look tired? 305 00:28:27,975 --> 00:28:29,937 Yes, a little, I am. 306 00:28:36,943 --> 00:28:39,695 - I hope you're hungry? - You cooked for me? 307 00:28:39,736 --> 00:28:42,448 - Oh, maybe. - Thank you. 308 00:28:54,501 --> 00:28:55,339 It looks amazing. 309 00:28:55,365 --> 00:28:57,778 I wanted something ready when you got here. 310 00:28:58,254 --> 00:29:00,122 - It's great. - Want some? 311 00:29:24,821 --> 00:29:27,364 You look so good in your suit. 312 00:29:27,406 --> 00:29:28,324 Thank you. 313 00:29:31,535 --> 00:29:32,536 Hey guess what? 314 00:29:33,575 --> 00:29:34,129 What? 315 00:29:34,325 --> 00:29:36,332 I'm fiinally gonna get my red jacket. 316 00:29:36,551 --> 00:29:37,746 - Really? - Yeah. 317 00:29:37,772 --> 00:29:40,319 - Congratulations baby! - Thank you. 318 00:29:45,563 --> 00:29:48,968 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 319 00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:24,813 - Feels good. - Yeah? 320 00:31:01,161 --> 00:31:03,110 I'm so sorry. 321 00:31:03,705 --> 00:31:05,081 What's wrong? 322 00:31:09,294 --> 00:31:11,274 It's been a rough couple of days, you know. 323 00:31:11,604 --> 00:31:12,364 Yeah. 324 00:31:13,547 --> 00:31:14,731 It's okay. 325 00:31:15,739 --> 00:31:17,197 It's okay. 326 00:31:17,801 --> 00:31:19,162 I'm so sorry. 327 00:31:21,388 --> 00:31:22,473 It's okay. 328 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,415 - I think I'm too tired. - Yes I know. 329 00:31:39,363 --> 00:31:40,826 I love you. 330 00:34:08,092 --> 00:34:10,334 - Hey. - How are you? 331 00:34:10,487 --> 00:34:12,865 - Okay, and you? - Good, how's work? 332 00:34:13,326 --> 00:34:16,365 - It's good, how was your day? - Fantastic... 333 00:34:17,603 --> 00:34:19,540 - So much work. - Good, good. 334 00:34:19,566 --> 00:34:21,818 Do you want anything? 335 00:34:22,516 --> 00:34:26,014 I tell you in just a minute... This is such a nice surprise. 336 00:34:35,486 --> 00:34:37,029 Hey, what's up? 337 00:34:42,701 --> 00:34:44,560 You know I've always been honest with you. 338 00:34:45,871 --> 00:34:46,956 Yes. 339 00:34:54,003 --> 00:34:56,463 I don't think we should see each other for a while. 340 00:35:12,312 --> 00:35:13,522 Why? 341 00:35:15,732 --> 00:35:18,920 Cause I don't think I can give you what you need, right now. 342 00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:36,813 God, what is this? 343 00:35:39,087 --> 00:35:42,382 I mean, we have met your family. 344 00:35:42,408 --> 00:35:43,813 We did meet your parents. 345 00:35:49,388 --> 00:35:50,649 I know... 346 00:35:51,098 --> 00:35:53,435 I know, it's taken me a long time to get here, 347 00:35:53,461 --> 00:35:57,030 but I am here, with everthing that I am. 348 00:36:01,465 --> 00:36:03,722 You are everything that I ever wanted. 349 00:36:19,917 --> 00:36:22,189 It's always been you... 350 00:36:23,128 --> 00:36:24,792 who's been holding us back. 351 00:36:25,432 --> 00:36:26,966 - You know that? - I know that. 352 00:36:32,096 --> 00:36:34,056 I know what this is about. 353 00:36:39,651 --> 00:36:40,651 I know! 354 00:36:47,940 --> 00:36:48,776 You go... 355 00:36:50,034 --> 00:36:50,987 ..you go do... 356 00:36:51,424 --> 00:36:54,075 whatever it is, that you have to do. 357 00:36:57,285 --> 00:36:59,276 But I want you to know... 358 00:36:59,507 --> 00:37:00,187 that I ... 359 00:37:00,895 --> 00:37:02,137 I may not still be here, just 360 00:37:02,163 --> 00:37:04,094 waiting for you, when you get back. 361 00:37:14,051 --> 00:37:15,262 Please stay. 362 00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:00,685 He handles all the marketing. 363 00:38:01,799 --> 00:38:03,050 Can you hold on a second? 364 00:38:03,556 --> 00:38:07,019 Hey, I was wondering, do you think you need me around next week? 365 00:38:07,684 --> 00:38:09,561 You haven't really been here much, Rick. 366 00:38:09,603 --> 00:38:12,524 Right, but I was thinking about taking a writing vacatioin, 367 00:38:12,618 --> 00:38:15,735 I'm working on a story. I think you gonna love it 368 00:38:15,796 --> 00:38:19,676 - Okay, that'll work, yeah. - Great,l thank you. 369 00:38:19,814 --> 00:38:21,755 - Are you leaving now? - Yeah. 370 00:38:22,395 --> 00:38:23,473 Okay, fine. 371 00:38:23,908 --> 00:38:26,809 - Where are you gonna go? - Ehm... 372 00:38:27,099 --> 00:38:32,317 ♪ Here I make my solemn vow ♪ 373 00:38:33,177 --> 00:38:39,013 ♪ To Keep His light in front of me ♪ 374 00:38:39,708 --> 00:38:44,973 ♪ In spite of what the dark allows ♪ 375 00:38:45,181 --> 00:38:50,720 ♪ Of what harm comes unto me ♪ 376 00:39:08,573 --> 00:39:09,862 ...and the love in our heart. 377 00:39:09,886 --> 00:39:12,094 We say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. 378 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,579 - Amen - Amen. 379 00:39:14,973 --> 00:39:16,838 - Dig in. - yammm... 380 00:39:18,208 --> 00:39:19,823 Peaches, you like sucking? 381 00:39:20,137 --> 00:39:21,651 Are you dipping? 382 00:39:21,872 --> 00:39:23,932 Dipping in the water? You like that? 383 00:39:24,631 --> 00:39:27,724 - This is realy good. - Yes? - Should cook every night. 384 00:39:27,759 --> 00:39:28,464 Thank you. 385 00:39:44,985 --> 00:39:46,151 What's the noise? 386 00:39:46,986 --> 00:39:50,614 - Are you expecting anybody? - No, you? - No 387 00:39:56,828 --> 00:39:58,455 What was that noise? 388 00:40:02,959 --> 00:40:03,918 Hi. 389 00:40:08,214 --> 00:40:10,447 - Is this a bad time? - Yes. 390 00:40:13,927 --> 00:40:15,179 What are you doing here? 391 00:40:15,877 --> 00:40:18,529 Why would you come to my house? How do you know where I live? 392 00:40:19,860 --> 00:40:21,112 Explain yourself! 393 00:40:27,190 --> 00:40:31,109 - I got your address from Gloria. - Gloria. 394 00:40:31,580 --> 00:40:32,803 Are you crazy? 395 00:40:34,489 --> 00:40:36,524 - Hi - Hi. 396 00:40:42,763 --> 00:40:44,085 - Hi - Hi. 397 00:40:44,655 --> 00:40:46,303 Are you gonna introduce me to your friend? 398 00:40:47,171 --> 00:40:50,999 - Yes. Honey, this is my friend RJ. - RJ, this is my wife, Emily. 399 00:40:51,077 --> 00:40:53,661 - Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 400 00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:58,952 Thanks for stopping by. 401 00:41:00,076 --> 00:41:01,038 It was good to see you. 402 00:41:01,597 --> 00:41:02,097 Oh... 403 00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:07,448 Actually, we're having dinner. You're welcome to join us, if you'd like. 404 00:41:08,697 --> 00:41:10,096 Sure, yeah. 405 00:41:11,398 --> 00:41:14,496 - Yes, of course. - Thank you. 406 00:41:14,651 --> 00:41:17,553 - OK, come on in. - Thank you. 407 00:41:26,334 --> 00:41:27,560 - Thank you. - Yeah. 408 00:41:30,161 --> 00:41:33,239 So, ehm, RJ, how do you and Chris know each other? 409 00:41:34,795 --> 00:41:36,764 Well... that's a good question... 410 00:41:37,256 --> 00:41:39,320 Chris, would you like to, maybe... 411 00:41:43,492 --> 00:41:44,720 Yeah, ehm... 412 00:41:45,237 --> 00:41:47,942 RJ and I met, when I was on my mission in Clackamas Falls. 413 00:41:48,099 --> 00:41:52,130 - Really? - Mmm... - Well, it's wonderful. 414 00:41:52,165 --> 00:41:55,898 - RJ was my mission companion. - Wow. 415 00:41:57,005 --> 00:41:59,192 And, do you live here in Salt Lake City? 416 00:41:59,222 --> 00:42:03,052 - No, actually, I live in Seattle. - Seattle? 417 00:42:03,084 --> 00:42:05,804 - So, what brings you here? - I'm here for work. 418 00:42:06,009 --> 00:42:08,538 - What kind of work? - I am a writer. 419 00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:10,488 A writer? Wow! 420 00:42:10,514 --> 00:42:13,210 - Like for a magazine or... - Yeah, actually... 421 00:42:13,655 --> 00:42:16,447 - Magazine... Which magazine? - The Seattle Magazine. 422 00:42:17,603 --> 00:42:20,106 And they're doing a piece on Salt Lake City? 423 00:42:20,405 --> 00:42:22,672 No, no actually... 424 00:42:22,698 --> 00:42:26,327 the story I'm working on, has a little bit to do with the Salt Lake, so... 425 00:42:26,802 --> 00:42:29,929 I thought I'd come down here for some inspiration. 426 00:42:30,867 --> 00:42:34,200 - Great. - Mmm... - How long are you in town? 427 00:42:35,427 --> 00:42:39,254 I don't know. I guess until the story is finished. 428 00:42:41,874 --> 00:42:43,385 Where are you staying? 429 00:42:44,542 --> 00:42:45,973 Well, ehm... 430 00:42:48,364 --> 00:42:50,450 Okay, honey. 431 00:43:01,524 --> 00:43:02,803 I think it's her bedtime. 432 00:43:04,097 --> 00:43:06,923 I'm sorry, is it me? I'm so sorry, if it was me. 433 00:43:08,750 --> 00:43:10,002 Okay. 434 00:43:12,546 --> 00:43:13,699 Come. 435 00:43:14,670 --> 00:43:16,007 Let's go. 436 00:43:35,276 --> 00:43:36,950 - Hi - Hi. 437 00:43:40,204 --> 00:43:42,015 Why are you here? Why... 438 00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:47,583 You came to my house? 439 00:43:48,837 --> 00:43:52,097 - I just wanted to talk to you. - Ok 440 00:43:53,633 --> 00:43:54,884 Let's talk. 441 00:43:57,637 --> 00:44:00,571 - Maybe not now... - Yes, maybe not right now. 442 00:44:03,934 --> 00:44:07,391 - I'm so sorry. - Ok - She is really tired. 443 00:44:07,417 --> 00:44:08,702 - It's a little late. - Yeah. 444 00:44:09,594 --> 00:44:11,190 Anyway, what I... 445 00:44:11,467 --> 00:44:13,295 I don't have any place to stay yet, 446 00:44:13,321 --> 00:44:16,217 I think I might just go to a motel nearby, maybe? 447 00:44:16,278 --> 00:44:18,049 Oh, you don't need to do that. 448 00:44:18,075 --> 00:44:21,595 We have so much space. You can stay with us, if you'd like. 449 00:44:22,490 --> 00:44:23,942 - If you want. - Sure! 450 00:44:25,075 --> 00:44:28,223 Yeah, is that okay with you, Chris? 451 00:44:28,270 --> 00:44:30,709 Yeah, of course. 452 00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:33,918 You're more than welcome to stay, for the night, if you'd like. 453 00:44:33,989 --> 00:44:34,520 Great. 454 00:44:35,477 --> 00:44:37,747 You guys probably have a lot of catching up to do ? 455 00:44:37,773 --> 00:44:40,225 - Yeah! - We do. We do. 456 00:44:40,940 --> 00:44:43,525 This is you, at the end of the stairs. 457 00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:46,213 The bag looks heavy, I should help. 458 00:44:46,214 --> 00:44:47,058 No, it's okay. 459 00:44:47,349 --> 00:44:48,308 Alright. 460 00:44:49,347 --> 00:44:50,644 Here you go. 461 00:44:51,645 --> 00:44:54,148 - Thank you. - Yes of course. 462 00:44:54,694 --> 00:44:58,959 Well, you're probably super tired. So you know... 463 00:44:59,245 --> 00:45:00,995 If you need anything just let me know, okay? 464 00:45:01,021 --> 00:45:02,283 I will. Thank you so much. 465 00:45:02,309 --> 00:45:05,480 - Yeah, it's so nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too. 466 00:45:06,528 --> 00:45:09,305 - Well, have a good night. - You too. 467 00:45:09,331 --> 00:45:10,457 - Goodbye. - Bye. 468 00:45:50,409 --> 00:45:55,831 Meet me at Mercury Grove on North Canyon at 7am. Please. Chris. 469 00:46:06,546 --> 00:46:07,797 What are you doing? 470 00:46:10,094 --> 00:46:12,698 - Ricky, what are you doing? - I just want to talk. 471 00:46:13,948 --> 00:46:15,608 I do not want to talk about the mission. 472 00:46:15,722 --> 00:46:16,557 Okay. 473 00:46:17,058 --> 00:46:18,768 So let's talk about something else. 474 00:46:19,449 --> 00:46:21,587 - I like your jacket. - Thanks. 475 00:46:24,785 --> 00:46:25,285 RJ. 476 00:46:26,632 --> 00:46:27,759 I'm married. 477 00:46:28,551 --> 00:46:30,362 - And I'm living honorably. - Okay. 478 00:46:31,235 --> 00:46:33,308 I didn't mean to interfere with you. 479 00:46:33,610 --> 00:46:34,861 It's too late for that. 480 00:46:37,468 --> 00:46:39,178 Don't you think it's a little crazy? 481 00:46:39,577 --> 00:46:41,593 You showing up out of nowhere, like this? 482 00:46:41,619 --> 00:46:44,986 Yes it is, but going to Clackamas Falls 483 00:46:45,502 --> 00:46:48,713 And Rodney dying and seeing you again. 484 00:46:49,610 --> 00:46:50,189 It's just... 485 00:46:50,666 --> 00:46:52,300 it sparked something in me. 486 00:46:53,318 --> 00:46:55,487 And all of a sudden, I'm 20 years old, 487 00:46:55,949 --> 00:46:57,887 And you walked into my life. 488 00:46:59,207 --> 00:47:02,948 And years of confusion and shame jusst disappear. 489 00:47:03,852 --> 00:47:05,649 Because I found somebody. 490 00:47:07,395 --> 00:47:10,386 That knows me, that understands me. 491 00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:11,755 I can't find that anywhere else. 492 00:47:11,771 --> 00:47:13,268 It comes close, but... 493 00:47:13,987 --> 00:47:15,238 It's not the same. 494 00:47:16,927 --> 00:47:18,466 And then, suddenly I'm here. 495 00:47:22,133 --> 00:47:24,287 Why did you cut me out of your life, Chris? 496 00:47:25,043 --> 00:47:26,330 I had no choice. 497 00:47:26,964 --> 00:47:29,634 All I want, is to be a part of your life. 498 00:47:29,808 --> 00:47:32,251 - That's not possible. - I'm sorry to hear that. 499 00:47:33,047 --> 00:47:34,994 I have a meeting to go to. 500 00:47:37,422 --> 00:47:38,838 You still go to church RJ? 501 00:47:39,168 --> 00:47:41,057 No, regretfully I don't. 502 00:47:41,763 --> 00:47:43,181 Well, you should. 503 00:47:44,211 --> 00:47:46,212 What are you doing, Chris? What do you mean? 504 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,339 We spent a year of our lives together. 505 00:47:48,787 --> 00:47:50,029 We made love. 506 00:47:50,377 --> 00:47:52,904 We fell in love. You're not straight! 507 00:47:53,254 --> 00:47:54,933 - I feel sorry for you. - Why? 508 00:47:55,449 --> 00:47:57,653 Because you are living a life of sin. 509 00:47:58,027 --> 00:47:59,655 And you are obsessing 510 00:47:59,697 --> 00:48:01,914 over something that never should have happened ! 511 00:48:02,741 --> 00:48:04,378 It was a phase ! 512 00:48:06,744 --> 00:48:08,847 The Lord has declared that no unclean thing 513 00:48:08,873 --> 00:48:10,688 shall inherit the Kingdom of Heavens. 514 00:48:11,076 --> 00:48:13,841 Our sin makes us unclean. 515 00:48:14,355 --> 00:48:17,358 Unworthy to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father. 516 00:48:17,384 --> 00:48:19,375 Verily, verily, I say onto you... 517 00:48:19,407 --> 00:48:21,539 woe be unto him that lieth to deceive 518 00:48:21,595 --> 00:48:24,161 because he supposeth that another lieth to deceive 519 00:48:24,404 --> 00:48:28,205 for such are not exempt from the justice of God. 520 00:48:28,231 --> 00:48:29,997 You are living a lie. 521 00:48:30,082 --> 00:48:32,166 And you brought your entire family into it. 522 00:48:32,212 --> 00:48:34,384 How dare you bring my family into this? 523 00:48:34,778 --> 00:48:36,133 Chris, I don't want to fight, 524 00:48:36,159 --> 00:48:38,264 I didn't come all this way, to end things like this. 525 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:40,707 - But I'm worried about you. - You're worried about me? 526 00:48:41,415 --> 00:48:46,260 This coming from a guy, who traveled 800 miles, uninvited! 527 00:48:49,618 --> 00:48:51,244 I'm more worried about you. 528 00:48:52,235 --> 00:48:54,774 Good, it shows that you care. 529 00:48:55,105 --> 00:48:56,698 I've always cared about you. 530 00:48:57,223 --> 00:48:58,737 Did you ever care about me? 531 00:49:00,610 --> 00:49:03,196 - Chris, Chris! - What? 532 00:49:06,265 --> 00:49:07,863 I'm gonna be here for a few days. 533 00:49:10,345 --> 00:49:12,421 If you want to talk, just get a hold of me 534 00:51:07,039 --> 00:51:09,233 - Hello? - Hi 535 00:51:20,968 --> 00:51:22,637 - Hey. - Hey. 536 00:51:28,053 --> 00:51:29,632 What are you doing? 537 00:51:29,842 --> 00:51:32,210 You can't eat rice with chopsticks. I don't know how they.. 538 00:51:32,311 --> 00:51:34,193 Just eat it with a fork. 539 00:51:34,481 --> 00:51:37,053 - I didn't see that. - Thank you. 540 00:51:38,193 --> 00:51:39,526 Here we go. 541 00:51:44,782 --> 00:51:47,455 It's easier with broccoli and beef, I'm just saying... 542 00:51:48,327 --> 00:51:50,120 It's okay, your trial with rice. 543 00:51:56,154 --> 00:51:59,449 - I read through one of your books. - Oh really? - Yes. 544 00:52:00,671 --> 00:52:02,131 Whichj one? 545 00:52:04,509 --> 00:52:07,961 I don't even know. I'm sorry. It's embarassing 546 00:52:07,987 --> 00:52:09,095 No, it's okay. 547 00:52:10,931 --> 00:52:14,017 It was very eloquently written, what I did read. 548 00:52:14,308 --> 00:52:16,427 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 549 00:52:23,860 --> 00:52:25,127 Do you remember... 550 00:52:26,862 --> 00:52:28,408 when we first met Rodney? 551 00:52:28,651 --> 00:52:29,565 Yeah. 552 00:52:32,159 --> 00:52:34,453 He was just smoking pot... 553 00:52:34,495 --> 00:52:37,289 in front of a couple of missionaries. 554 00:52:37,545 --> 00:52:39,166 - And no shame. - Like you do. 555 00:52:39,403 --> 00:52:40,631 Like you do. 556 00:52:42,043 --> 00:52:43,397 And that apartment... 557 00:52:43,819 --> 00:52:47,084 It just smelled of beer, and mildew and... 558 00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:50,002 And urine. yeah, little bit of urine. 559 00:52:50,028 --> 00:52:52,496 I think I saw a live possum in his kitchen. 560 00:52:52,512 --> 00:52:53,668 I saw a dead one. 561 00:52:53,847 --> 00:52:55,889 I think it was the same one. 562 00:52:58,367 --> 00:52:59,403 He was really good. 563 00:52:59,429 --> 00:53:02,021 - Yes,he was a character. - Definitely. 564 00:53:03,355 --> 00:53:07,443 - Those were good times - Yeah, they were. 565 00:53:09,369 --> 00:53:10,079 So,,, 566 00:53:11,987 --> 00:53:14,823 the last time I saw you... 567 00:53:16,034 --> 00:53:19,245 you were the epitomy of a collegiate wrestler. 568 00:53:20,455 --> 00:53:23,729 - Not so much anymore - But you look the same though. 569 00:53:23,831 --> 00:53:24,511 Thank you. 570 00:53:25,126 --> 00:53:26,983 I mean, I lead a simple life. 571 00:53:27,009 --> 00:53:30,014 You know, I go to work... I come home and... 572 00:53:30,589 --> 00:53:32,843 Paul was there all the time. 573 00:53:33,483 --> 00:53:35,315 We were home buddies. 574 00:53:36,417 --> 00:53:37,436 You were ? 575 00:53:40,408 --> 00:53:41,280 Yeah. 576 00:53:42,608 --> 00:53:43,663 I'm sorry. 577 00:53:46,559 --> 00:53:50,529 And I'm sorry about what I said earlier. 578 00:53:51,476 --> 00:53:54,604 - Were both angry... - I was very angry. 579 00:53:54,653 --> 00:53:57,739 It's fine. Fifty-fifty. 580 00:54:00,113 --> 00:54:01,596 So, what about you? 581 00:54:02,285 --> 00:54:05,121 How's life as a pharmaceutical rep? 582 00:54:05,163 --> 00:54:06,247 I hate it. 583 00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:11,252 It's an atrocious job, that pays very well. 584 00:54:11,919 --> 00:54:13,837 So, why don't you do something else? 585 00:54:15,436 --> 00:54:17,233 When I figure out,what I want to do, I'll... 586 00:54:18,601 --> 00:54:20,386 stop being a pharmaceutical rep. 587 00:54:23,180 --> 00:54:25,229 It seems some time, to figure out, what that is. 588 00:54:25,255 --> 00:54:26,475 Yes. 589 00:54:26,517 --> 00:54:27,745 You will ... 590 00:54:29,089 --> 00:54:30,518 You'll figure it out. 591 00:54:31,062 --> 00:54:32,105 Yes. 592 00:54:37,558 --> 00:54:38,948 You know, it's funny when... 593 00:54:39,519 --> 00:54:40,675 you're younger... 594 00:54:41,378 --> 00:54:43,699 you just assume that life is gonna... 595 00:54:43,979 --> 00:54:47,077 line up, and make sense, at some point. 596 00:54:48,286 --> 00:54:50,539 You have this vision... 597 00:54:50,580 --> 00:54:52,804 of what you want your life to be. 598 00:54:53,228 --> 00:54:56,468 Mission, family, job, ehm... 599 00:55:00,206 --> 00:55:01,901 You create this idea 600 00:55:02,182 --> 00:55:04,215 of what you want your life to be like. 601 00:55:05,347 --> 00:55:07,522 You create these images in your head. 602 00:55:10,505 --> 00:55:12,063 And as you go along, 603 00:55:13,016 --> 00:55:15,392 these images shatter. 604 00:55:18,958 --> 00:55:21,398 As if they were nothing. 605 00:55:24,542 --> 00:55:26,947 They're so easily inceived. 606 00:55:27,042 --> 00:55:29,268 and so easily broken. 607 00:55:32,786 --> 00:55:35,491 And all you have left to do, is just... 608 00:55:35,517 --> 00:55:38,603 to accept life. 609 00:55:41,295 --> 00:55:42,995 Just the way it is. 610 00:55:54,140 --> 00:55:57,252 Life is a journey, isn't it RJ? 611 00:56:00,771 --> 00:56:01,813 Uh-huh. 612 00:56:06,568 --> 00:56:08,538 I should probably get going. 613 00:56:10,081 --> 00:56:13,075 - Yeah. - ehm, this was fun. 614 00:56:14,784 --> 00:56:16,118 Yes it was. 615 00:56:17,217 --> 00:56:20,143 And ehm, if I don't see you again... 616 00:56:20,874 --> 00:56:22,163 I just want you to know that... 617 00:56:22,530 --> 00:56:24,100 I'm really glad, we did this. 618 00:56:25,010 --> 00:56:26,065 Me too. 619 00:56:41,958 --> 00:56:44,521 - You'll be welcome... - No, no. 620 00:56:51,703 --> 00:56:54,543 I guess, this is the closure I came here for. 621 00:56:55,353 --> 00:56:57,001 It's not what I wanted. 622 00:56:57,444 --> 00:56:59,404 But maybe this is all there is. 623 00:57:15,048 --> 00:57:18,939 - This is wonderful, Emily. - It really is. - Thank you. 624 00:57:19,220 --> 00:57:21,048 She's trying to make me fat? 625 00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,228 - No. - Right. 626 00:57:23,353 --> 00:57:25,814 Says the guy who gets up at 4:30 every morning to work out. 627 00:57:28,333 --> 00:57:30,505 So, how are sales? 628 00:57:31,445 --> 00:57:32,697 Good, can't complain. 629 00:57:33,923 --> 00:57:35,618 I think, the toughest part of my job is, 630 00:57:35,682 --> 00:57:37,706 I travel so much and I'm away from my girl. 631 00:57:38,659 --> 00:57:39,911 You work so hard. 632 00:57:40,818 --> 00:57:42,532 But he's got the next two weeks off. 633 00:57:42,742 --> 00:57:44,429 So, I've got him all to myself. 634 00:57:45,017 --> 00:57:46,624 - About time. - Yeah. 635 00:57:47,275 --> 00:57:49,269 I don't know how you do it, with all the... 636 00:57:49,851 --> 00:57:52,558 hotels, airports... 637 00:57:52,584 --> 00:57:53,762 How do you sleep? 638 00:57:53,871 --> 00:57:55,398 I get used to them. 639 00:58:00,838 --> 00:58:02,812 So, I don't know about you, but... 640 00:58:03,257 --> 00:58:04,781 I could use a little bit of dessert. 641 00:58:06,013 --> 00:58:09,308 Honey, how about you and Emily go to the store and get some ice cream? 642 00:58:09,558 --> 00:58:12,013 Chris and I can chat about a few matters of the Church. 643 00:58:13,543 --> 00:58:14,753 Sounds like a great idea. 644 00:58:15,147 --> 00:58:19,582 - I wouldn't mind ice cream. - Sure, yes sir. 645 00:58:23,995 --> 00:58:25,246 I'll miss you. 646 00:58:31,938 --> 00:58:34,106 Ehm, any particular flavor? 647 00:58:35,624 --> 00:58:37,870 - How about vanilla. - Yeah, vanilla is great. 648 00:58:38,175 --> 00:58:39,217 Okay. 649 00:58:47,839 --> 00:58:51,025 I'm glad we finally have an opportunity to be alone and chat 650 00:58:52,181 --> 00:58:54,350 Yeah. Yeah, me too. 651 00:58:57,772 --> 00:59:01,732 You know, I think you're a man that really seems to have it all figured out. 652 00:59:02,580 --> 00:59:03,622 Thank you. 653 00:59:06,339 --> 00:59:09,676 Chris, do you consider yourself to be openminded? 654 00:59:12,245 --> 00:59:15,678 Yes, yes... for the most part. 655 00:59:16,924 --> 00:59:19,491 Cause there's something, I like to show you, if that's okay. 656 00:59:20,082 --> 00:59:22,835 - Ok . - Great. 657 00:59:23,819 --> 00:59:26,280 Great, now before I begin, 658 00:59:26,592 --> 00:59:28,452 I wanna ask you to... 659 00:59:29,133 --> 00:59:33,776 try to suspend the way you normally read Scripture? 660 00:59:35,548 --> 00:59:36,931 Try to listen to this with... 661 00:59:37,415 --> 00:59:38,620 a delicate touch: 662 00:59:41,019 --> 00:59:42,576 This is ehm... 663 00:59:43,354 --> 00:59:45,809 not something I can bring up to anyone. 664 00:59:46,075 --> 00:59:48,527 which is why I'd rather discuss it with someone like you. 665 00:59:49,109 --> 00:59:51,611 - No problem. - Okay 666 00:59:54,823 --> 00:59:58,118 Chris, today I'd like to talk about Andrew. 667 00:59:58,452 --> 01:00:00,954 Now, who was Andrew? 668 01:00:01,697 --> 01:00:03,695 He was an apostle. 669 01:00:04,543 --> 01:00:07,116 - He's the brother of Simon-Peter. - Right. 670 01:00:07,418 --> 01:00:09,824 Now, we don't know very much about Andrew. 671 01:00:10,129 --> 01:00:12,527 But tonight, let's allow Andrew to take our hand... 672 01:00:12,868 --> 01:00:15,913 and lead us to the Gospel of John, Chapter 13 673 01:00:18,317 --> 01:00:21,346 Jesus Christ says to his disciples: 674 01:00:21,514 --> 01:00:25,552 Most assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray me. 675 01:00:27,187 --> 01:00:31,046 The disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom he spoke. 676 01:00:32,776 --> 01:00:35,789 One of his disciples, the one, who Jesus loved, 677 01:00:36,611 --> 01:00:38,322 Was lying on his chest. 678 01:00:39,164 --> 01:00:42,632 Simon Peter therefore motioned to him, to ask Jesus 679 01:00:42,966 --> 01:00:44,890 of whom he was speaking. 680 01:00:45,746 --> 01:00:48,812 So, while lying next to Christ, he asked: 681 01:00:49,208 --> 01:00:51,078 Lord, who is it? 682 01:00:52,621 --> 01:00:56,379 So, the Lord, sitting among the other disciples, 683 01:00:57,481 --> 01:00:59,353 while the one he loved, 684 01:01:00,051 --> 01:01:02,589 lies on the heart of Christ. 685 01:01:04,430 --> 01:01:05,681 On his chest. 686 01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,070 After dinner Jesus disrobes 687 01:01:13,355 --> 01:01:15,149 and pours water into a basin 688 01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:18,066 and begins to wash the disciples' feet. 689 01:01:19,569 --> 01:01:22,628 There's nothing more gentle and holy... 690 01:01:23,171 --> 01:01:25,187 then washing another's feet. 691 01:01:25,636 --> 01:01:28,546 Aaron... can I... 692 01:01:28,986 --> 01:01:31,364 interject there for a moment... 693 01:01:32,907 --> 01:01:35,190 - I do not know... - Just hold on, hold on. 694 01:01:35,283 --> 01:01:36,908 - Hear me out. - Alright. 695 01:01:37,711 --> 01:01:40,296 I spent a lot of time thinking about this. 696 01:01:40,507 --> 01:01:42,978 And I can't see it any other way, then how it's written. 697 01:01:43,614 --> 01:01:46,921 There is a tenderness in these words. 698 01:01:47,303 --> 01:01:50,811 Christ loves these men dearly, and one above all. 699 01:01:51,573 --> 01:01:54,042 And when he touches them... 700 01:01:54,761 --> 01:01:58,022 It is a delicate and beautiful act of kindness... 701 01:01:58,482 --> 01:01:59,482 And love. 702 01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:03,610 And while others may say, that... 703 01:02:04,090 --> 01:02:05,835 by loving his disciples, 704 01:02:06,444 --> 01:02:08,680 Jesus fell in love with humanity. 705 01:02:09,014 --> 01:02:11,163 I can explain to you, why I believe... 706 01:02:11,341 --> 01:02:13,288 That this Scripture does not refer... 707 01:02:13,405 --> 01:02:16,917 to a call, to a love for human kind. 708 01:02:17,677 --> 01:02:18,923 But instead, 709 01:02:19,641 --> 01:02:22,026 refers more specifically to his love 710 01:02:22,126 --> 01:02:24,104 - of any... - You can stop right there. 711 01:02:24,366 --> 01:02:26,567 I know what you're trying to insinuate, 712 01:02:26,593 --> 01:02:28,242 and frankly, I don't like it. 713 01:02:29,426 --> 01:02:32,012 - Chris, I'm just being... - That's enough! 714 01:02:34,779 --> 01:02:37,580 Okay, okay. 715 01:02:38,918 --> 01:02:41,131 I didn't mean to make you angry. 716 01:02:41,921 --> 01:02:43,119 I'm sorry. 717 01:02:45,709 --> 01:02:47,733 Chris, I think you and I, are a lot alike. 718 01:02:48,663 --> 01:02:51,742 - I too am struggling. - I'm not struggling. 719 01:02:56,117 --> 01:02:57,118 Okay. 720 01:02:58,614 --> 01:03:02,291 I went to a small highschool in Arizona. 721 01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:05,603 This kid transferred in to sophomore year. 722 01:03:06,118 --> 01:03:09,530 and he wasn't exactly popular. They called him "the narc". 723 01:03:09,997 --> 01:03:12,641 He was always telltaling, he was just obnoxious. 724 01:03:13,897 --> 01:03:16,225 He was very devoted to Christ, however. 725 01:03:16,425 --> 01:03:18,148 We bonded, in that sense. 726 01:03:18,323 --> 01:03:20,283 Over time, we became good friends. 727 01:03:20,309 --> 01:03:21,877 Great friends even. 728 01:03:22,432 --> 01:03:24,201 And when the other kids would say to me: 729 01:03:24,227 --> 01:03:27,151 Why do you spend time with that guy? I did not care. 730 01:03:27,866 --> 01:03:30,732 Because in his heart, he was a good man. 731 01:03:34,112 --> 01:03:37,451 His name was Marshall Harris. 732 01:03:40,030 --> 01:03:42,261 Your zone leader, when you were on the mission. 733 01:03:45,001 --> 01:03:49,046 Chris, I know what happened in Oregon with your mission companion. 734 01:03:49,741 --> 01:03:51,904 And I don't judge you for it. 735 01:03:55,736 --> 01:03:57,916 I know your struggle, and... 736 01:03:58,259 --> 01:03:59,830 I know it well. 737 01:04:00,378 --> 01:04:01,629 And I want you to know 738 01:04:01,771 --> 01:04:04,498 we can help one another, through this. 739 01:04:04,724 --> 01:04:07,490 Let me help you through this. 740 01:04:08,790 --> 01:04:12,584 No temptation has seized you, except what is common to men. 741 01:04:12,900 --> 01:04:15,303 And we need not be ashamed. 742 01:04:17,297 --> 01:04:18,251 Get out. 743 01:04:19,824 --> 01:04:24,942 - I care about you, Chris. - Get out of my house! 744 01:04:33,212 --> 01:04:35,185 We got bananas and raspberries. 745 01:04:35,474 --> 01:04:36,494 To make splits. 746 01:04:40,428 --> 01:04:41,678 Is everything okay? 747 01:04:44,692 --> 01:04:49,124 I suddenly lost my appetite for ice cream, Emily. 748 01:04:49,223 --> 01:04:50,219 I'm sorry. 749 01:04:52,968 --> 01:04:54,219 I'll be seeing you, Chris. 750 01:04:55,747 --> 01:04:56,931 Goodbye, Emily. 751 01:05:05,005 --> 01:05:06,195 What happened? 752 01:05:08,239 --> 01:05:09,161 He ehm... 753 01:05:10,395 --> 01:05:11,763 He wasn't feeling well. 754 01:05:13,568 --> 01:05:15,083 I'm gonna get ready for bed. 755 01:05:38,446 --> 01:05:40,531 That's a ladybug on a leaf. 756 01:05:41,919 --> 01:05:43,655 - Hey sweety. - Hey. 757 01:05:45,268 --> 01:05:47,997 Hey ehm, what time are you and RJ getting together? 758 01:05:48,564 --> 01:05:51,280 Around three, I think. 759 01:05:51,806 --> 01:05:55,290 Okay, so I call Kirsten and have her come just a little earlier. 760 01:05:55,316 --> 01:05:58,610 I won't be around tonight. I have to help setup for the debut. 761 01:05:59,114 --> 01:06:01,017 What's happening tonight? 762 01:06:03,540 --> 01:06:05,368 It's my red jacket debut. 763 01:06:06,439 --> 01:06:08,539 Congratulations again baby. It's great. 764 01:06:09,528 --> 01:06:11,974 Isn't that a rabbit? What is that? 765 01:06:12,110 --> 01:06:13,194 Thank you. 766 01:06:17,299 --> 01:06:18,299 Um... 767 01:06:18,821 --> 01:06:21,599 Did you call the catering company? 768 01:06:21,946 --> 01:06:26,999 Ask them to add 2 more tables, and the china and the flowers, like Ida ? 769 01:06:27,620 --> 01:06:28,328 No. 770 01:06:29,571 --> 01:06:32,138 No, I completely forgot. I'm sorry. 771 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:36,824 - Honey, it's your parents anniversary. - Yes I know! 772 01:06:37,130 --> 01:06:39,216 I just forgot, and I'm sorry. 773 01:06:39,577 --> 01:06:40,825 I'll get on it. 774 01:06:42,505 --> 01:06:43,442 Yes, okay. 775 01:06:44,890 --> 01:06:45,432 Okay. 776 01:06:46,418 --> 01:06:47,418 Thank you. 777 01:07:13,434 --> 01:07:14,997 I'd like to level with you. 778 01:07:15,708 --> 01:07:16,623 Okay. 779 01:07:18,713 --> 01:07:19,802 I'm sorry ... 780 01:07:20,997 --> 01:07:22,272 for abandoning you. 781 01:07:25,746 --> 01:07:27,611 I'm sorry for the way I treated you. 782 01:07:29,883 --> 01:07:31,127 That was cruel. 783 01:07:34,654 --> 01:07:38,263 And I'm sorry for not responding to any of your letters, or phone calls. 784 01:07:44,111 --> 01:07:45,361 I received them all. 785 01:07:46,103 --> 01:07:47,223 Your letters. 786 01:07:48,307 --> 01:07:50,349 And they touched me, deeply. 787 01:07:51,611 --> 01:07:53,281 But I couldn't respond. 788 01:07:59,161 --> 01:08:01,388 I truly loved... 789 01:08:01,807 --> 01:08:03,644 the time, that we spent together. 790 01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:07,412 But once I returned home, 791 01:08:12,965 --> 01:08:15,229 I felt my father's shadow. 792 01:08:15,927 --> 01:08:18,387 And his position and the high authority, 793 01:08:18,413 --> 01:08:19,941 looming over me. 794 01:08:21,911 --> 01:08:23,163 Like a cloud. 795 01:08:25,975 --> 01:08:28,517 He recommended that I go to reparative therapy. 796 01:08:31,847 --> 01:08:32,515 Which I did. 797 01:08:37,352 --> 01:08:40,946 And eventually... I was deemed worthy enough to continue... 798 01:08:41,346 --> 01:08:43,077 my service to the church. 799 01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:49,577 And then I met Emily. 800 01:08:52,718 --> 01:08:58,147 And we had this amazing, intense connection. 801 01:09:00,902 --> 01:09:04,309 And I thought: "Finally, a cure." 802 01:09:08,566 --> 01:09:10,191 I sincerely believed... 803 01:09:10,860 --> 01:09:14,446 that, if I got married, that I would be given the strength... 804 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:16,312 to overcome this. 805 01:09:19,530 --> 01:09:23,070 But every time I see a man that I'm attracted to, 806 01:09:23,933 --> 01:09:27,206 it's like something inside of me is screaming, 807 01:09:27,657 --> 01:09:29,171 to get out! 808 01:09:31,154 --> 01:09:35,866 There is this message, that is sent and received. 809 01:09:36,724 --> 01:09:37,743 Instantly. 810 01:09:46,486 --> 01:09:48,795 I am a religious man, RJ. 811 01:09:49,407 --> 01:09:50,642 I know you are. 812 01:09:54,759 --> 01:09:56,408 But I feel forsaken. 813 01:10:02,092 --> 01:10:05,204 I have so much pain, in my heart. 814 01:10:08,719 --> 01:10:10,482 And I just deal with it. 815 01:10:13,819 --> 01:10:15,446 It feels as if there's... 816 01:10:15,728 --> 01:10:16,228 this... 817 01:10:16,530 --> 01:10:20,165 axe, that is thrust into my chest... 818 01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:26,163 This pain. 819 01:10:26,275 --> 01:10:28,595 The fasting, the prayers... 820 01:10:28,761 --> 01:10:31,681 It consumes my life. 821 01:10:33,378 --> 01:10:34,669 And there is... 822 01:10:35,422 --> 01:10:38,550 little energy left, for anything else. 823 01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:50,227 I am not living honorably. 824 01:10:54,018 --> 01:10:55,135 Chris, I feel so... 825 01:10:55,881 --> 01:10:57,440 I care so much... 826 01:10:58,483 --> 01:10:59,350 about you. 827 01:11:02,016 --> 01:11:03,111 Look at me. 828 01:11:04,741 --> 01:11:06,795 There is nothing wrong with us. 829 01:11:08,245 --> 01:11:09,659 We're just victims... 830 01:11:10,198 --> 01:11:12,417 Of a culture that doesn't accept us. 831 01:11:36,689 --> 01:11:38,041 May I touch you? 832 01:11:53,370 --> 01:11:55,580 That face... 833 01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,159 I've seen you in my dreams. 834 01:12:16,475 --> 01:12:18,674 What? I'm sorry. 835 01:12:19,616 --> 01:12:20,592 I'm sorry. 836 01:12:22,063 --> 01:12:24,010 I thought that's what you wanted. 837 01:12:26,241 --> 01:12:27,279 It is. 838 01:12:38,161 --> 01:12:39,655 What do you want me to do? 839 01:12:42,421 --> 01:12:43,213 You see... 840 01:12:44,849 --> 01:12:46,434 I missed you. 841 01:12:49,464 --> 01:12:51,455 I missed you too. 842 01:13:06,855 --> 01:13:09,119 I wanted this for so long. 843 01:13:15,067 --> 01:13:17,318 This I pledge, as a "Star Recruiter". 844 01:13:17,451 --> 01:13:19,475 This I pledge, as a "Star Recruiter". 845 01:13:19,568 --> 01:13:21,947 To live, by the Golden Rule Philosophy. 846 01:13:21,956 --> 01:13:24,117 To live, by the Golden Rule Philosophy. 847 01:13:24,143 --> 01:13:26,494 To encourage and support my team members. 848 01:13:26,503 --> 01:13:28,719 To encourage and support my team members. 849 01:13:28,745 --> 01:13:32,029 This I pledge, as a brand new "Star Recruiter". 850 01:13:32,030 --> 01:13:35,017 This I pledge, as a brand new "Star Recruiter". 851 01:13:35,042 --> 01:13:37,794 Excellent. Give a round of applause, ladies and gents. 852 01:21:04,176 --> 01:21:06,637 So right now I have a special... 853 01:21:06,679 --> 01:21:09,906 for you, it's fifty percent off any product, 854 01:21:09,932 --> 01:21:13,531 when you spend $ 40 or more on beauty essential products. 855 01:21:14,478 --> 01:21:15,965 Which is really good. 856 01:21:18,681 --> 01:21:22,437 You had mentioned a lipstick you wanted to try? 857 01:21:22,463 --> 01:21:24,118 - Sure. - Okay. 858 01:21:31,934 --> 01:21:34,177 Are you alright, dear? 859 01:21:41,674 --> 01:21:42,567 Honey? 860 01:21:47,286 --> 01:21:49,466 Can I help you with something? 861 01:21:55,766 --> 01:21:56,829 Dear? 862 01:22:04,610 --> 01:22:05,587 Hey, baby. 863 01:22:18,581 --> 01:22:20,500 Have you been sitting here since I left? 864 01:22:22,743 --> 01:22:23,924 Where were you? 865 01:22:26,842 --> 01:22:28,389 Were you with RJ? 866 01:22:29,948 --> 01:22:31,050 Yeah. 867 01:22:34,093 --> 01:22:36,081 You think I'm such a fool. 868 01:22:37,198 --> 01:22:38,604 What are you talking about? 869 01:22:40,304 --> 01:22:41,182 Come on. 870 01:22:43,873 --> 01:22:45,795 I know what you've been doing. 871 01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:53,077 My heart is broken, Chris. 872 01:22:59,292 --> 01:23:01,159 And I think I've always known. 873 01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:05,581 But I hid it in the back of my mind, because... 874 01:23:06,025 --> 01:23:07,957 I thought, I could trust you. 875 01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,620 You need to come clean. 876 01:23:16,761 --> 01:23:19,784 - You need to be honest with me. - What's wrong? 877 01:23:24,140 --> 01:23:28,690 - I saw you. Chris. - You saw what? 878 01:23:32,899 --> 01:23:35,313 And you call yourself a man of faith ? 879 01:23:41,633 --> 01:23:43,178 I saw you... 880 01:23:44,088 --> 01:23:46,729 with your friend RJ. 881 01:23:47,447 --> 01:23:50,110 At that hotel, just ten blocks from here. 882 01:23:54,891 --> 01:23:56,560 You kissed him. 883 01:23:57,773 --> 01:23:59,428 The way you kiss me. 884 01:24:06,311 --> 01:24:07,670 I'm so stupid. 885 01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:11,565 Because all the signs were there. 886 01:24:12,680 --> 01:24:15,934 They were just there... and I ignored them. 887 01:24:17,567 --> 01:24:19,163 - I'm so stupid. - No. 888 01:24:21,159 --> 01:24:21,838 No. 889 01:24:28,049 --> 01:24:30,932 God only knows, what you do, when you're out, travelling for work. 890 01:24:31,761 --> 01:24:34,598 In one city after the next, staying in hotels, 891 01:24:34,631 --> 01:24:36,076 meeting strangers. 892 01:24:37,106 --> 01:24:39,697 - Have there been others? - No. 893 01:24:43,197 --> 01:24:44,556 I don't believe you. 894 01:24:45,787 --> 01:24:48,373 - I don't believe a word you say. No one? - Emily. 895 01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,212 There's been nobody else. 896 01:24:56,789 --> 01:24:59,384 Have you been going to see him in Seattle? 897 01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:00,713 No. 898 01:25:02,527 --> 01:25:04,267 I haven't seen him since my mission. 899 01:25:05,774 --> 01:25:06,985 Since your mission. 900 01:25:07,841 --> 01:25:08,634 Hmm... 901 01:25:12,207 --> 01:25:14,082 I couldn't imagine what that was like. 902 01:25:16,871 --> 01:25:18,790 What about me and Kelly? 903 01:25:20,166 --> 01:25:22,559 - Has that thought ever crossed your mind? - Yes 904 01:25:25,463 --> 01:25:26,988 Yes, of course. 905 01:25:30,387 --> 01:25:32,379 I'm so sorry, Emily. 906 01:25:43,681 --> 01:25:45,341 Can we pray this away ? 907 01:25:47,798 --> 01:25:49,727 It's the last thing we can do. 908 01:25:50,506 --> 01:25:52,423 I will do, whatever it takes. 909 01:25:53,866 --> 01:25:56,028 But you have to stop this. 910 01:25:57,872 --> 01:25:59,023 I need you. 911 01:26:00,430 --> 01:26:02,407 I need you. Chris. 912 01:26:06,466 --> 01:26:07,509 What do we do? 913 01:26:18,028 --> 01:26:19,966 What can I not give you... 914 01:26:20,528 --> 01:26:21,598 that he can? 915 01:26:21,680 --> 01:26:23,217 Please don't ask me that! 916 01:26:27,555 --> 01:26:29,445 I have been devoted to you. 917 01:26:30,121 --> 01:26:31,442 And this family. 918 01:26:32,598 --> 01:26:34,944 The feelings that I have for him... 919 01:26:36,317 --> 01:26:38,094 I can never have for a woman. 920 01:26:42,207 --> 01:26:44,481 Seeing him again, brought everything back. 921 01:26:47,832 --> 01:26:49,212 And I have tried, 922 01:26:50,332 --> 01:26:53,188 to become something, that I thought I was supposed to be. 923 01:26:53,412 --> 01:26:54,578 But I can't. 924 01:26:57,574 --> 01:26:58,754 I failed you. 925 01:27:01,469 --> 01:27:02,695 I failed you. 926 01:27:10,893 --> 01:27:12,644 I don't know what to do with that. 927 01:27:19,733 --> 01:27:21,485 I will not accept that. 928 01:27:24,922 --> 01:27:27,211 You made a promise to me. 929 01:27:28,079 --> 01:27:29,598 For eternity. 930 01:27:33,701 --> 01:27:35,340 Is that what you want, Chris? 931 01:27:36,819 --> 01:27:38,215 A life without me? 932 01:27:46,526 --> 01:27:47,763 Destroying me? 933 01:27:49,555 --> 01:27:50,951 Destroying us? 934 01:28:04,508 --> 01:28:06,380 If that's what you want, Chris... 935 01:28:14,540 --> 01:28:16,033 You have to tell your family. 936 01:28:20,520 --> 01:28:22,103 And tell them what? 937 01:28:24,728 --> 01:28:25,704 The truth. 938 01:28:59,974 --> 01:29:01,066 Hey guys. 939 01:29:01,860 --> 01:29:03,812 - Come on in. - How are you darling? 940 01:29:04,242 --> 01:29:05,008 Good. 941 01:29:09,166 --> 01:29:10,099 Have a seat, please. 942 01:29:15,232 --> 01:29:18,606 So, what's the big news, guys? 943 01:29:19,073 --> 01:29:20,933 We're still waiting on one person. 944 01:29:22,559 --> 01:29:24,144 Chris, who? 945 01:29:35,641 --> 01:29:37,999 Hey, come on in. 946 01:29:43,432 --> 01:29:44,260 - It's okay. 947 01:29:45,105 --> 01:29:46,444 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 948 01:30:00,541 --> 01:30:02,197 This is my friend, RJ. 949 01:30:04,425 --> 01:30:05,634 Hey. 950 01:30:10,115 --> 01:30:11,732 What is he doing here? 951 01:30:12,008 --> 01:30:13,342 I wanted him here. 952 01:30:13,819 --> 01:30:16,533 Trust me, okay? 953 01:30:17,793 --> 01:30:20,838 So, how do you know Chris and Emily, RJ? 954 01:30:21,161 --> 01:30:23,978 - I'm just a friend. - Okay. 955 01:30:25,214 --> 01:30:26,849 I've known Chris for a while. 956 01:30:28,328 --> 01:30:30,564 - That's great. - Yeah. 957 01:30:35,314 --> 01:30:36,568 - So what's going on? 958 01:30:37,670 --> 01:30:38,396 Ehm... 959 01:30:40,757 --> 01:30:43,307 Chris and I have something, we'd like to tell you. 960 01:30:53,151 --> 01:30:55,537 This isn't easy for me to say. 961 01:30:57,857 --> 01:31:01,318 But I haven't been completely honest with any of you. 962 01:31:03,131 --> 01:31:05,717 And I feel like I should come clean. 963 01:31:14,675 --> 01:31:15,517 I... 964 01:31:17,621 --> 01:31:18,924 I... I'm... 965 01:31:30,506 --> 01:31:31,663 I'm gay. 966 01:31:38,054 --> 01:31:39,612 I'm in love with him. 967 01:31:54,493 --> 01:31:55,661 Chris. 968 01:31:58,742 --> 01:32:02,161 I know that you love Emily. 969 01:32:02,847 --> 01:32:03,823 But... 970 01:32:05,617 --> 01:32:09,454 I guess, I just always kind of assumed, you know ? 971 01:32:13,189 --> 01:32:14,331 I do love you. 972 01:32:15,999 --> 01:32:17,487 And I want you... 973 01:32:18,765 --> 01:32:20,026 Both of you... 974 01:32:21,179 --> 01:32:22,522 to be happy. 975 01:32:23,590 --> 01:32:24,456 Thank you. 976 01:32:26,221 --> 01:32:28,542 Son, we can work this through. 977 01:32:29,368 --> 01:32:30,995 We can work this through again. 978 01:32:33,609 --> 01:32:34,620 Again? 979 01:32:36,635 --> 01:32:37,710 You... 980 01:32:38,714 --> 01:32:40,827 You are a homewrecker ! 981 01:32:44,819 --> 01:32:46,307 Please make him leave. 982 01:32:46,919 --> 01:32:48,303 I don't understand why. 983 01:32:48,366 --> 01:32:50,297 Why did you invite him here, in the first place? 984 01:32:50,323 --> 01:32:51,382 I need him here. 985 01:32:52,148 --> 01:32:53,836 - I'm gonna leave. - No. 986 01:32:54,011 --> 01:32:55,508 I think you should. 987 01:32:56,020 --> 01:32:58,207 I knew who you were, as soon as you walked through that door 988 01:32:58,233 --> 01:32:59,506 and I think you should get up 989 01:32:59,532 --> 01:33:01,737 and walk out, and never come back. 990 01:33:01,958 --> 01:33:04,615 Chris, I feel like this is a family matter. 991 01:33:07,226 --> 01:33:09,224 I.. I don't even understand why I'm here. 992 01:33:09,250 --> 01:33:10,838 Yeah, neither do I. 993 01:33:11,499 --> 01:33:14,351 I think you should do exactly what my father said. 994 01:33:14,377 --> 01:33:16,879 - And you should go! - Greg, sit down! 995 01:33:18,888 --> 01:33:19,916 Chris! 996 01:33:22,783 --> 01:33:26,787 How could you do this to Mom and Dad, and let alone Emily? 997 01:33:27,038 --> 01:33:29,267 What are you thinking man? 998 01:33:32,125 --> 01:33:34,037 This has nothing to do with them. 999 01:33:40,456 --> 01:33:43,960 My brother is not gay. 1000 01:33:43,986 --> 01:33:45,525 - I've known him my whole life. 1001 01:33:45,551 --> 01:33:47,298 - I would know. - Okay. 1002 01:33:47,571 --> 01:33:50,267 - RJ. RJ. - I'm so sorry too. 1003 01:33:51,076 --> 01:33:51,828 Greg. 1004 01:33:53,598 --> 01:33:54,328 Greg! 1005 01:33:56,716 --> 01:33:59,383 - Please sit down. - Greg! Greg! 1006 01:34:00,577 --> 01:34:04,668 - Sit down! - Greg, please sit down. 1007 01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:18,030 Emily, honey, I'd love to know your thoughts on all this. 1008 01:34:22,826 --> 01:34:26,259 I love you. I feel like a failure, as a wife. 1009 01:34:26,437 --> 01:34:26,985 No. 1010 01:34:28,797 --> 01:34:30,735 But I'm not ready to give up yet. 1011 01:34:33,961 --> 01:34:37,840 So... you're gay and you're in love with a man. 1012 01:34:42,818 --> 01:34:46,230 That doesn't explain or answer to me how you're... 1013 01:34:47,043 --> 01:34:49,433 you're going to leave your wife! 1014 01:34:49,968 --> 01:34:51,402 Abandon me! 1015 01:34:52,875 --> 01:34:54,203 And your daughter. 1016 01:34:55,100 --> 01:34:58,210 Your family, your church, your Heavenly Father. 1017 01:34:59,491 --> 01:35:00,835 All, so that you can just... 1018 01:35:01,026 --> 01:35:04,281 have some momentary self-indulgent fling! 1019 01:35:07,253 --> 01:35:08,890 This is about who I am. 1020 01:35:13,214 --> 01:35:15,191 I don't expect you to forgive me. 1021 01:35:16,722 --> 01:35:18,816 But I hope, one day, you can understand. 1022 01:35:20,788 --> 01:35:24,651 And you can help me, to help Kaylee to understand. 1023 01:35:28,981 --> 01:35:31,959 - But this is something I have to do. - No... 1024 01:35:32,088 --> 01:35:33,325 - Honey? - No... 1025 01:35:33,840 --> 01:35:36,022 you do not abandon me. 1026 01:35:38,800 --> 01:35:40,766 You have to let me go. 1027 01:35:43,384 --> 01:35:44,093 No. 1028 01:35:49,973 --> 01:35:51,227 No, honey. 1029 01:35:52,902 --> 01:35:53,611 No. 1030 01:35:55,340 --> 01:35:59,164 No. No. Never! 1031 01:35:59,375 --> 01:36:01,379 I can not let you go. 1032 01:36:04,121 --> 01:36:06,477 Why did you do this to me !? 1033 01:36:12,645 --> 01:36:14,676 I do not do it to hurt you 1034 01:36:19,321 --> 01:36:21,989 This is not the case, dear... 1035 01:36:23,029 --> 01:36:24,481 I hate you! 1036 01:36:24,533 --> 01:36:26,641 You get out of my house! 1037 01:36:43,937 --> 01:36:44,817 Hi. 1038 01:37:00,606 --> 01:37:02,135 You know my dad never told my mum 1039 01:37:02,161 --> 01:37:03,815 about what happened on our mission? 1040 01:37:05,904 --> 01:37:07,129 He kept it from her. 1041 01:37:10,647 --> 01:37:12,645 She could barely look at me, today. 1042 01:37:20,156 --> 01:37:23,033 My dad's asked me to write a letter to everyone we know, 1043 01:37:23,121 --> 01:37:24,418 telling them the truth. 1044 01:37:27,929 --> 01:37:29,082 I'm gonna do it. 1045 01:37:32,735 --> 01:37:35,461 I'm gonna honor him, and do it. 1046 01:37:46,078 --> 01:37:49,081 I'm gonna wait till after the anniversary party and then, send them off. 1047 01:37:49,329 --> 01:37:50,273 One by one. 1048 01:38:17,449 --> 01:38:18,184 Hello? 1049 01:38:19,301 --> 01:38:22,199 - Is this Thomas Smith? - Yes, it is. 1050 01:38:23,109 --> 01:38:24,903 Hello Thomas, this is Noah Merrill, 1051 01:38:24,929 --> 01:38:26,717 I'm calling you from Salt Lake City. 1052 01:38:27,609 --> 01:38:30,026 Yes, I know who you are, of course. 1053 01:38:30,421 --> 01:38:32,663 Ehm, to what do I owe the honor? 1054 01:38:33,476 --> 01:38:35,673 Well, I'm afraid this call is ehm... 1055 01:38:35,863 --> 01:38:39,282 regarding a rather... sensitive issue. 1056 01:38:39,628 --> 01:38:40,370 Ehm, sure. 1057 01:38:40,706 --> 01:38:42,411 What is this regarding? 1058 01:38:43,120 --> 01:38:46,154 Several years ago, your son RJ and my son Chris 1059 01:38:46,180 --> 01:38:47,703 were mission companions. 1060 01:38:48,868 --> 01:38:49,907 I see. 1061 01:38:51,799 --> 01:38:53,479 And I don't know, if you knew this, but... 1062 01:38:53,640 --> 01:38:56,194 RJ is currently in Salt Lake City. 1063 01:38:56,588 --> 01:38:58,982 No. I didn't know that. 1064 01:39:00,632 --> 01:39:01,713 Well... 1065 01:39:02,408 --> 01:39:04,318 he is, and ehm... 1066 01:39:05,499 --> 01:39:09,025 he's complicating things for Chris and his wife. 1067 01:39:09,970 --> 01:39:12,603 They've been meeting at a hotel, near Chris' home. 1068 01:39:13,963 --> 01:39:17,115 and ehm.. I just think it would be good if you... 1069 01:39:17,523 --> 01:39:21,072 were to call RJ and convince him, to go back to Seattle. 1070 01:39:22,702 --> 01:39:23,804 Brother Merrill, I... 1071 01:39:24,531 --> 01:39:26,647 I know, this must be difficult for you, but... 1072 01:39:27,109 --> 01:39:28,601 RJ is a grown man. 1073 01:39:29,128 --> 01:39:31,828 I can call him and ask him to leave Salt Lake City, but... 1074 01:39:32,101 --> 01:39:33,330 that doesn't mean he'll go. 1075 01:39:33,526 --> 01:39:35,788 Thomas, Chris and his wife are 1076 01:39:35,814 --> 01:39:37,821 thinking about getting a divorce. 1077 01:39:39,887 --> 01:39:43,514 He's been doing great, he's come so far. 1078 01:39:45,220 --> 01:39:46,337 Your son has just... 1079 01:39:46,704 --> 01:39:50,104 he brings confusion in the spirit of Chris' life, and 1080 01:39:51,438 --> 01:39:52,982 I hate to say it, but I really 1081 01:39:53,008 --> 01:39:55,880 I think it was RJ, who seduced Chris on his mission trip. 1082 01:39:55,906 --> 01:39:59,837 Again: I'm sorry for what you and your familyare going through. 1083 01:39:59,863 --> 01:40:04,386 But to put the blame solely on RJ, it's just not fair. 1084 01:40:04,738 --> 01:40:08,351 Your son is a part of this, as much as RJ. 1085 01:40:08,377 --> 01:40:09,439 You know that. 1086 01:40:09,898 --> 01:40:12,847 Chris was fine until RJ showed up at his door. 1087 01:40:13,128 --> 01:40:13,753 Noah, 1088 01:40:14,507 --> 01:40:17,913 I think you and I are a lot more similar than we might guess. 1089 01:40:17,998 --> 01:40:20,168 I don't think so. I don't think so. 1090 01:40:20,194 --> 01:40:23,130 What kind of a father would let his son parade around as a pansy ? 1091 01:40:23,275 --> 01:40:25,736 Now, hang on just one minute! 1092 01:40:27,557 --> 01:40:30,515 I'm very sorry for what you and your family are going through, 1093 01:40:30,541 --> 01:40:33,131 but my son is a good boy. 1094 01:40:33,568 --> 01:40:37,223 He's a good boy and whatever is happening in Salt Lake City, 1095 01:40:37,249 --> 01:40:41,213 is being reciprocated by your son, or else, RJ would have left by now! 1096 01:40:44,709 --> 01:40:46,709 I am proud of my son. 1097 01:40:47,650 --> 01:40:50,221 And, this hasn't been easy on me, but... 1098 01:40:51,041 --> 01:40:53,103 I love him, so much. 1099 01:40:55,439 --> 01:40:57,463 And he struggled too. 1100 01:40:58,036 --> 01:40:59,394 As has Chris. 1101 01:41:00,990 --> 01:41:05,943 RJ has been on a very powerful spiritual journey... 1102 01:41:06,221 --> 01:41:08,283 to come to peace, with who he is... 1103 01:41:09,205 --> 01:41:11,213 no matter what the church says about it. 1104 01:41:13,654 --> 01:41:15,100 And Brenda and I... 1105 01:41:17,053 --> 01:41:18,482 we've started our journey. 1106 01:41:19,967 --> 01:41:21,412 And now, brother Merrill... 1107 01:41:22,467 --> 01:41:24,682 you and your family have to begin yours 1108 01:41:27,119 --> 01:41:31,448 And if you ever say anything bad about my son again... 1109 01:41:32,494 --> 01:41:34,088 you and I are gonna have a problem. 1110 01:41:35,064 --> 01:41:36,142 Do you understand me? 1111 01:41:59,651 --> 01:42:00,360 Chris. 1112 01:43:42,349 --> 01:43:44,083 Why did I see him ?! 1113 01:44:19,320 --> 01:44:22,490 Now I see the damage I've done. 1114 01:44:23,552 --> 01:44:26,138 I'm holding on to something from my past. 1115 01:44:26,664 --> 01:44:28,193 It's not just Chris. 1116 01:44:28,249 --> 01:44:30,967 It's everything that's locked in me that's L.D.S. 1117 01:44:41,842 --> 01:44:46,897 ♪ Here I make my solemn vow ♪ 1118 01:44:48,272 --> 01:44:53,615 ♪ To Keep His light in front of me ♪ 1119 01:44:55,132 --> 01:45:00,725 ♪ In spite of what the dark allows ♪ 1120 01:45:01,956 --> 01:45:07,205 ♪ Of what love comes unto me ♪ 1121 01:45:08,550 --> 01:45:14,408 ♪The seas may rage for endless years ♪ 1122 01:45:14,913 --> 01:45:20,420 ♪ The wind may test and age me ♪ 1123 01:45:20,727 --> 01:45:25,945 ♪ Still I will keep his light in my heart ♪ 1124 01:45:25,954 --> 01:45:31,113 ♪ I know he will save me ♪ 1125 01:45:32,735 --> 01:45:37,562 ♪ Here I give myself to him ♪ 1126 01:45:38,883 --> 01:45:44,602 ♪ In sweet and clear surrender ♪ 1127 01:45:46,090 --> 01:45:51,531 ♪ I know his love is pure and true ♪ 1128 01:45:52,903 --> 01:45:58,309 ♪ I know his soul is tender ♪ 1129 01:45:59,911 --> 01:46:05,113 ♪ And if I sink under the waves ♪ 1130 01:46:06,661 --> 01:46:12,457 ♪ If Black Knight comes to claim me ♪ 1131 01:46:14,657 --> 01:46:20,527 ♪ I know my soul will be redeemed ♪ 1132 01:46:22,625 --> 01:46:30,070 ♪ My love for Him will save me ♪ 1133 01:46:55,086 --> 01:46:57,367 Well, I just wanted to start by saying 1134 01:46:57,368 --> 01:47:01,200 welcome to my family and to my favourite people. 1135 01:47:01,315 --> 01:47:05,200 What else can I say but congratulations. I love you both. 1136 01:47:07,261 --> 01:47:08,796 Well, let's get uncle Noah appear. 1137 01:47:08,822 --> 01:47:11,439 I think he has something he wants to say to us all. 1138 01:47:22,017 --> 01:47:22,868 Thank you. 1139 01:47:25,978 --> 01:47:28,392 I want to thank you all for coming here tonight. 1140 01:47:29,610 --> 01:47:33,970 It is the 25th year, that I've spent with my soul mate, 1141 01:47:34,347 --> 01:47:36,020 the love of my life, Debra Merrill. 1142 01:47:41,699 --> 01:47:45,898 You know when I met her in a conference centre in Cleveland, Ohio 1143 01:47:46,352 --> 01:47:50,406 I knew right away that is was more than just a coincidence, that... 1144 01:47:50,508 --> 01:47:51,813 It was fate. 1145 01:47:53,547 --> 01:47:54,333 And... 1146 01:47:55,258 --> 01:47:56,469 I'm honoured... 1147 01:47:57,188 --> 01:47:59,883 to have such a wonderful woman... 1148 01:48:01,332 --> 01:48:02,426 in my life. 1149 01:48:03,637 --> 01:48:04,785 And ehm... 1150 01:48:06,246 --> 01:48:08,676 and our three beautiful children, and... 1151 01:48:09,603 --> 01:48:11,145 Emily, our daughter-in-law. 1152 01:48:13,743 --> 01:48:14,668 You see... 1153 01:48:16,516 --> 01:48:19,180 you don't get to choose, who you love in this world. 1154 01:48:19,989 --> 01:48:22,715 Our Heavenly Father makes those choices for us. 1155 01:48:25,266 --> 01:48:26,016 And... 1156 01:48:27,756 --> 01:48:29,075 in the end... 1157 01:48:30,302 --> 01:48:31,754 all we have, is family. 1158 01:48:48,299 --> 01:48:49,244 What are you doing? 1159 01:48:55,211 --> 01:48:57,365 - I'm leaving. - Why? 1160 01:48:59,132 --> 01:49:00,577 You have no idea... 1161 01:49:01,384 --> 01:49:04,093 how happy I am, to have spent this last week with you. 1162 01:49:08,578 --> 01:49:10,957 There's always a part of me, that's gonna love you. 1163 01:49:15,820 --> 01:49:17,414 So before I go... 1164 01:49:18,937 --> 01:49:20,531 I wanna do something for you. 1165 01:49:21,574 --> 01:49:22,211 What? 1166 01:49:34,384 --> 01:49:35,527 Forgive me. 1167 01:50:08,775 --> 01:50:11,243 I just saved you a lot of dollars, okay? 1168 01:51:22,365 --> 01:51:24,524 Do you know yet, what you're gonna say to your father? 1169 01:51:28,407 --> 01:51:29,997 I already told him the truth. 1170 01:51:30,489 --> 01:51:32,001 But he can't accept it. 1171 01:51:34,092 --> 01:51:36,551 So I assume, all I've left to say is: "I'm sorry". 1172 01:51:49,244 --> 01:51:50,756 But you've already done that. 1173 01:52:02,391 --> 01:52:04,306 Honey, you can't hold this in. 1174 01:52:05,181 --> 01:52:06,849 You need to talk to somebody. 1175 01:52:11,879 --> 01:52:13,640 I'm not a good person, am I? 1176 01:52:14,672 --> 01:52:16,984 Honey, of course you are. 1177 01:52:18,593 --> 01:52:20,929 I don't think this was a surprise, to any of us. 1178 01:52:21,949 --> 01:52:24,049 Don't you think, your dad is upset because he's... 1179 01:52:24,075 --> 01:52:25,473 shocked by this? 1180 01:52:27,500 --> 01:52:28,165 No. 1181 01:52:28,977 --> 01:52:29,664 No. 1182 01:52:31,528 --> 01:52:33,223 I need you to understand something. 1183 01:52:33,249 --> 01:52:34,981 Mom, can we please talk about this later? 1184 01:52:35,045 --> 01:52:35,796 No. 1185 01:52:36,426 --> 01:52:36,926 No. 1186 01:52:37,606 --> 01:52:39,426 We need to talk about this now. 1187 01:52:40,006 --> 01:52:42,172 You need to understand something. 1188 01:52:43,219 --> 01:52:46,203 - You made these choices. - Okay, Mom. 1189 01:52:46,229 --> 01:52:48,270 No, you don't listen. 1190 01:52:48,811 --> 01:52:51,025 I can't stand as a human being. 1191 01:52:51,918 --> 01:52:53,795 You made the choice... 1192 01:52:54,350 --> 01:52:55,679 to go on a mission. 1193 01:52:56,775 --> 01:52:59,361 You made the choice to get married in the temple. 1194 01:53:00,153 --> 01:53:02,036 And these choices, honey... 1195 01:53:03,173 --> 01:53:05,001 they gave your father hope. 1196 01:53:06,491 --> 01:53:08,368 They gave me hope too. 1197 01:53:11,704 --> 01:53:13,017 Oh, honey, 1198 01:53:14,083 --> 01:53:16,388 All we have in this life is each other. 1199 01:53:17,450 --> 01:53:18,903 - You know that? - Yeah. 1200 01:53:19,556 --> 01:53:22,022 And honey, I love... I love our life 1201 01:53:22,048 --> 01:53:24,704 And I love our family, our eternal family... 1202 01:53:25,696 --> 01:53:28,657 and I love being L.D.S. 1203 01:53:29,336 --> 01:53:31,149 And I love our Heavenly Father. 1204 01:53:32,973 --> 01:53:34,937 I know, this has been so hard for you. 1205 01:53:37,766 --> 01:53:39,004 But let me tell you... 1206 01:53:39,434 --> 01:53:41,591 as hard as this is, you have to know, 1207 01:53:41,617 --> 01:53:43,763 that you are a child of God. 1208 01:53:44,487 --> 01:53:46,894 You are, and He loves you. 1209 01:53:48,038 --> 01:53:50,023 And if He can't accept you, 1210 01:53:50,385 --> 01:53:51,797 the way that you are. 1211 01:53:52,890 --> 01:53:54,916 just the way,He made you, 1212 01:53:57,158 --> 01:53:58,563 I let you know, I will. 1213 01:54:01,174 --> 01:54:03,182 Okay? I will. 1214 01:54:06,944 --> 01:54:09,627 And your father will come around. He will. 1215 01:54:12,151 --> 01:54:14,397 I've really hurt Emily, though. 1216 01:54:15,561 --> 01:54:17,389 Honey, she's gonna need some time. 1217 01:54:18,061 --> 01:54:18,805 Okay? 1218 01:54:19,240 --> 01:54:20,568 And you'll give her that. 1219 01:54:22,651 --> 01:54:26,439 But right now you need to work on Chris, okay? 1220 01:54:27,809 --> 01:54:29,060 Give her some time. 1221 01:54:30,741 --> 01:54:33,327 And then, you can help her. 1222 01:54:34,097 --> 01:54:36,811 And help Kaylee to understand, what she's going through. 1223 01:54:36,997 --> 01:54:38,838 And what is happening around her. 1224 01:54:39,270 --> 01:54:39,926 Okay? 1225 01:54:42,516 --> 01:54:43,899 My boy... 1226 01:54:55,247 --> 01:54:57,496 - I love you. - I love you. 1227 01:54:58,634 --> 01:55:00,446 - It's gonna be okay. - Yeah. 1228 01:55:34,319 --> 01:55:36,997 Whatever that stunt was, you pulled last night... 1229 01:55:40,079 --> 01:55:43,537 it's made the 20 years, that I've given the church, 1230 01:55:44,094 --> 01:55:45,012 mean nothing. 1231 01:55:46,051 --> 01:55:47,245 Nothing at all. 1232 01:55:47,672 --> 01:55:49,316 Of course they meant something. 1233 01:55:54,765 --> 01:55:57,550 And you broke that poor girl's heart, with your lies. 1234 01:55:58,014 --> 01:55:59,375 You know that, right? 1235 01:56:01,232 --> 01:56:03,233 And I've raised you, to be honest. 1236 01:56:04,580 --> 01:56:07,064 To be honest, I would have to admit, to being gay. 1237 01:56:09,000 --> 01:56:11,912 I've been praying this away, since I was a child. 1238 01:56:14,397 --> 01:56:16,826 I've been guilty every day of my life. 1239 01:56:16,852 --> 01:56:18,328 Do you really want me, to live the rest 1240 01:56:18,354 --> 01:56:20,007 of my life, feeling this way? 1241 01:56:22,257 --> 01:56:24,187 If it means your loyalty to God... 1242 01:56:27,053 --> 01:56:28,371 Then yes, I do. 1243 01:56:34,648 --> 01:56:36,602 - I have to go, Chris. - Dad? 1244 01:56:37,226 --> 01:56:38,052 I have to go. 1245 01:56:38,358 --> 01:56:40,605 Can we please finish this conversation? 1246 01:56:44,163 --> 01:56:46,263 We have nothing left to discuss. 1247 01:57:00,351 --> 01:57:01,516 Chris, what are you doing? 1248 01:57:01,542 --> 01:57:04,643 I am not letting you leave, without finishing this conversation. 1249 01:57:05,456 --> 01:57:07,759 So you're embarrassed to have a gay son? 1250 01:57:09,424 --> 01:57:11,628 Yes, I'm embarrassed to have a gay son. 1251 01:57:11,654 --> 01:57:12,299 Why? 1252 01:57:14,850 --> 01:57:17,100 Cause it goes against God's Laws. 1253 01:57:17,505 --> 01:57:19,112 I am your child. 1254 01:57:20,216 --> 01:57:21,639 I'm your son! 1255 01:57:26,707 --> 01:57:29,195 I live to make you proud. 1256 01:57:29,221 --> 01:57:31,697 I've manufactured my entire life, 1257 01:57:31,723 --> 01:57:33,900 to please you, because I love you. 1258 01:57:35,839 --> 01:57:37,918 Because I am proud of my father. 1259 01:57:43,630 --> 01:57:45,441 You're breaking my heart, Dad. 1260 01:57:48,367 --> 01:57:50,554 Please don't walk away from me. 1261 01:57:53,090 --> 01:57:55,040 Because I can't do this without you. 1262 01:57:57,894 --> 01:58:00,547 You taught me to tell the truth, no matter what. 1263 01:58:00,816 --> 01:58:04,019 And I'm finally doing that, and you don't like it. 1264 01:58:06,539 --> 01:58:10,527 But I'm doing exactly what you taught me to do. 1265 01:58:30,855 --> 01:58:32,691 I just want you to have a good life. 1266 01:58:33,920 --> 01:58:35,707 I don't want you to struggle. 1267 01:58:38,859 --> 01:58:41,715 All I ever wanted, was to make life easy for you. 1268 01:58:43,848 --> 01:58:46,636 I can't give you a second helping with this. 1269 01:58:48,765 --> 01:58:50,507 I'm gonna be okay, Dad. 1270 01:58:54,258 --> 01:58:56,040 Everything is going to change. 1271 01:58:58,418 --> 01:59:01,019 But I promise you, I'm going to be okay. 1272 01:59:32,808 --> 01:59:34,859 After the anniversary dinner, 1273 01:59:35,857 --> 01:59:37,586 the last thing I expected 1274 01:59:37,703 --> 01:59:39,595 was a letter from Chris. 1275 01:59:41,147 --> 01:59:42,890 He said many things. 1276 01:59:43,952 --> 01:59:46,901 But what stood out to me, was three words: 1277 01:59:48,216 --> 01:59:49,428 I forgive you. 1278 01:59:52,350 --> 01:59:54,672 You see, I love Salt Lake. 1279 01:59:54,935 --> 01:59:56,288 Trying to convince myself, 1280 01:59:56,752 --> 01:59:59,573 that never seeing him again, is for the best. 1281 02:00:01,126 --> 02:00:02,377 But in my heart... 1282 02:00:03,342 --> 02:00:04,900 I know it's not an issue... 1283 02:00:05,222 --> 02:00:06,806 of if I'll see him again. 1284 02:00:10,575 --> 02:00:11,446 But when. 1285 02:00:23,377 --> 02:00:25,377 *** 90428