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♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
2
00:00:02,929 --> 00:00:05,719
♪ But I say it feels all right ♪
3
00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:09,856
♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪
4
00:00:09,857 --> 00:00:12,947
♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪
5
00:00:12,948 --> 00:00:15,678
♪ But maybe it's all right ♪
6
00:00:15,676 --> 00:00:19,316
♪ 'Cause this is my life, this
if my life, this is my life ♪
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- Okay, so we're playing Grove End today.
8
00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:24,110
It might be a friendly, but I
still want you to go out there
9
00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:26,100
and break those little bitches' hearts.
10
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And ankles.
11
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,970
Holli, why are you wearing three bras?
12
00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:31,060
Christ, you've got more
coverage than Vodafone.
13
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:32,690
- I always wear three
bras on match day, Miss.
14
00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:34,410
- Her little thing.
- It's lucky.
15
00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:35,240
- Yeah, well, breasts that size,
16
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,213
it's basic health and safety.
17
00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,747
- And I'm wearing my special boots.
18
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They're two sizes too small
19
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,060
and they make my toes proper bleed.
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00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:41,890
- But they're lucky.
21
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- And Saz has just been for her lucky wee.
22
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She's got to do three
wees, one in each cubicle.
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(toilet flushing)
- Yeah, well, everyone's got
24
00:00:47,043 --> 00:00:48,253
a match day thing.
25
00:00:48,246 --> 00:00:50,306
Ria has to eat a Kit Kat
just before we kick off,
26
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:52,130
and so does Shannabelle, and so does Jade.
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00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:52,960
- It's lucky.
28
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- I didn't know you girls
were so superstitious.
29
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What about you, Viva, what's
your little nutbag thing?
30
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- I don't have one.
31
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- Yeah, she doesn't have one.
32
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- She's too sensible.
33
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,730
- Well, Viva, I think
you'd better get one.
34
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,970
The rest of the team are putting in 110%!
35
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,380
Come on, girls, let's get warmed up.
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(lively music)
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- That was amazing.
38
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- Nine, nil.
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Job done.
40
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- That's the best I've ever played!
41
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- Two hat tricks, Amber.
42
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What can I say?!
43
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- No, Miss, I scored six.
44
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- Good girl, Amber.
45
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Nice move when you
smashed that number seven
46
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in the face with your cast.
47
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:37,026
- No, that was an accident, Miss.
48
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- Course it was!
49
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(laughs)
50
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Oh, jeez, I need to sit down.
51
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,110
- You all right?
52
00:01:41,113 --> 00:01:42,613
Is it the baby?
53
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- Yes, she's kind of punching my cervix,
54
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which is what I wanted to talk about.
55
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- What, your cervix?
56
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- Maternity leave.
57
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This little muffin is nearly
cooked and I need to go home
58
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and get some rest before
she comes out of the oven,
59
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AKA my vagina.
60
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:59,240
But, before I do that, I need
to appoint a temporary coach
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for the West Mount game.
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- What about Mr. Phillips?
63
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:03,450
- Yeah, I've asked him, but
he's meeting his birth mother
64
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:05,700
for the first time that day and
he doesn't want to postpone.
65
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:08,060
I don't know what the big rush
is, they've waited 30 years.
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00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,750
- Miss Dennis?
- Miss Dennis?!
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00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:12,040
She's gay and she fancies me.
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I don't want to owe her.
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Christ knows what that would involve.
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- One of us could do it.
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- Exactly!
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Who wants it?!
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No, but who really wants it?
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Who wants it 110%?
75
00:02:24,842 --> 00:02:25,882
Who votes for Saz?
76
00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:29,640
Five out of seven.
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Okay, Saz, you've won.
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You're the new coach, woo.
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- I won?
80
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People voted for me?
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People really voted for me?!
82
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- Looks like it.
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00:02:37,943 --> 00:02:40,033
I don't know why, I'd
have voted for Holli.
84
00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:43,250
- This is wonderful, thanks
so much for the opportunity,
85
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I won't let you down.
86
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,280
- She thinks she's on fucking "X Factor."
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- I'm so proud to be voted coach.
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And next week, I will lead
us out to beat West Mount.
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- Oh, get real, Saz,
that is not gonna happen.
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West Mount are good.
91
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:57,310
- With respect, Miss
Hitchcock, I'm the coach now
92
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,150
and I believe Greenshoots Girls can win.
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This is work.
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We've got a job to do.
95
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Let's do it!
96
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,870
Thank you, thanks for
voting, thank you very much.
97
00:03:05,873 --> 00:03:07,653
- What the fuck did you vote Saz for?
98
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:09,550
- I didn't think anyone
else would vote for Saz.
99
00:03:09,546 --> 00:03:11,266
- Why did them others vote for Saz?
100
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:14,930
- Think some of the girls
think you're a bit too violent.
101
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(gentle piano music)
102
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(bottle crashes)
103
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- Too violent?!
104
00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:23,810
Too violent?!
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On a football pitch?
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Is there such a thing as too violent?!
107
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- Yes, Holli, there is.
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You clearly headbutted their number three.
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- So?
110
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- As part of your goal celebration?
111
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,770
- That is my goal celebration.
112
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:39,890
- Brandon's here.
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(faintly speaking)
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Not that I care.
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Oh, my god, he's coming over.
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Not that I care.
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Do I look pretty?
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- Not that we care.
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- Have you seen Junior?
120
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He's gone wandering again.
121
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,870
- Brandon's granddad is a bit,
what's that word, Brandon?
122
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- Annoying, incontinent, annoying.
123
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,780
- I can't remember the
word, but he's a bit...
124
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,500
- Are you trying to say he's senile?
125
00:04:06,499 --> 00:04:08,429
- Nah, I think he's Jamaican.
126
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:10,623
- There's no fucking sugar, innit?
127
00:04:11,688 --> 00:04:13,698
- Brandon's granddad likes eating sugar.
128
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,970
- Last night, he drank an
entire tin of golden syrup
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00:04:15,970 --> 00:04:16,800
when I went toilet.
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00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:18,153
- [Amber] I bet your mum went mad.
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- No, 'cause she wasn't there.
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She's on a cruise.
133
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- Where?
- The fucking sea, where else?
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Says she needed a break.
135
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:26,650
Got it all booked up
without even telling me.
136
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:27,760
And that's not right.
137
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,790
You don't just go off and
leave your little child
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00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,230
to fend for himself.
139
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,977
- Has anyone got any sugar?!
140
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:35,180
- So who's looking after you?
141
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:36,010
- I am!
142
00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:38,403
I'm looking after me, and
I'm looking after Junior.
143
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,400
- All by yourself?
144
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,760
- Yeah, all by myself.
145
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,220
Alone.
146
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:45,280
- Is this a proper fucking cafe or not?!
147
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,280
- Why don't you let me help
you look after the house
148
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,290
while your mum's away?
149
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,287
- Can you?
150
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,240
- [Holli] Fuck off!
151
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:54,310
That's weird, there's sugar on the floor.
152
00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:55,480
- It's kind of a trail.
153
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,690
Oh, my god, this is so Sherlock.
154
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,470
- [Amber] It's Junior!
155
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:07,380
- Found him, case closed.
156
00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:09,440
- Elementary, and I ain't even joking.
157
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,695
- I've got to go.
158
00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:13,594
Amber, I need you.
159
00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:18,260
- He needs me!
160
00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:20,484
- Don't do all their cleaning!
161
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,160
- [Saz] Don't do all their cooking!
162
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,190
- And don't do Brandon!
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00:05:24,188 --> 00:05:26,768
(upbeat music)
164
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,510
- I've been looking for you.
165
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:32,430
What's that?
166
00:05:32,427 --> 00:05:34,757
- What?
- I thought I saw my name.
167
00:05:34,758 --> 00:05:35,608
- Oh, yeah, that.
168
00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:36,461
It's my geography project.
169
00:05:36,457 --> 00:05:39,507
- "The Physical Geography
of The Rocky Mountains."
170
00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:40,360
- Yeah.
171
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Everyone has to do a project.
172
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- Is it 'cause you still love me?
173
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A little bit?
174
00:05:44,013 --> 00:05:44,853
- No.
175
00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,340
- I wanted to talk to
you about that, actually,
176
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'cause now you've split
up with Tyler, I thought--
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- No, Rocky, we're over.
178
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,490
- So you're what, 90% sure of that?
179
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:55,470
- No.
- I'll settle for 95% sure.
180
00:05:55,468 --> 00:05:56,368
- No, Rocky.
181
00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:57,860
- Shake for 99, final offer.
182
00:05:59,030 --> 00:06:00,790
- I'm a thousand percent sure
we're a thousand percent over.
183
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:03,651
- Okay.
184
00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:05,790
That's a lot of percent.
185
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:07,810
I'll leave you alone then, yeah?
186
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,850
I'm sorry if I made it
hard for you and Tyler,
187
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:11,870
but it was difficult for me to see you
188
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,070
with that chicken penis.
189
00:06:14,293 --> 00:06:16,643
(somber music)
190
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,470
- Bye.
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That might be the last
thing he ever says to me.
192
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- God!
193
00:06:23,390 --> 00:06:25,620
Do chickens even have penises?
194
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(whistle shrills)
195
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,070
- Thanks for coming, everyone.
196
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:31,170
I know it's lunch, but, yes, Holli?
197
00:06:31,170 --> 00:06:32,550
- Shouldn't we be outside kicking a ball
198
00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:33,890
and not wasting our time in here?
199
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,180
- Thank you, Holli,
200
00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:36,640
but I'll let you know
when we're going outside,
201
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,600
because I'm the coach.
202
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,840
Sit down, Holli.
203
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,292
(chuckles)
204
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:43,370
Holli, do we have a discipline problem?!
205
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:46,370
- No.
206
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,153
- "No, Coach."
207
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,360
- Yeah, like I'm gonna call you Coach.
208
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,650
- Okay.
209
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:53,640
So Friday is supposed to be windy,
210
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,770
so we'll start with my analysis
of why wind is important
211
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:58,180
and how it can help us.
212
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,180
Then we'll move onto my
windy weather game plan.
213
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,210
So there we are.
214
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,210
Any questions?
215
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,230
- I've got one.
216
00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:09,860
Who wishes they'd voted for me now?
217
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:12,120
Jade, Shannabelle, Ria, Viva?
218
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,540
Talking to you, bitches.
219
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:16,190
- Do we really have to have
all these strategies, Saz?
220
00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:17,860
Can't we just try to win?
221
00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:18,800
I'm really hungry.
222
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,970
- Amber, shit attitude.
223
00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:23,697
All of you, shit attitude!
224
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,440
Except for Viva.
225
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,290
Viva, I saw you taking notes, well done.
226
00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,220
Non-shit attitude!
227
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:31,890
- She's not even taking notes, Miss.
228
00:07:31,890 --> 00:07:32,720
I mean, Saz.
229
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:33,623
I mean, Coach.
230
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,449
Look!
231
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:38,023
I knew you still liked Rocky.
232
00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:38,862
- What?
233
00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:40,185
I don't still like Rocky.
234
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:42,810
- Then why are you
doodling his name, then?
235
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:43,911
- I don't know.
236
00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:46,103
Maybe there's a time lag
between my hand and my brain,
237
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,050
and my brain hasn't got
round to telling my hand
238
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,550
that I don't like him.
239
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,220
- Your hand really needs to sit down
240
00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:53,243
with your brain for a chat, then.
241
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,320
- And my face needs to
sit down with some chips.
242
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,720
Come on.
- Okay, girls,
243
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,420
see you after school for training.
244
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,480
Did it go well?
245
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,050
'Cause I can't always tell.
246
00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:09,808
- No, Saz, it didn't go well.
247
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:11,760
- Are you just joking
that it didn't go well?
248
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,110
'cause I can't always tell.
249
00:08:14,470 --> 00:08:16,900
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am just joking,
250
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,100
but maybe you are taking
it all a bit too seriously.
251
00:08:20,102 --> 00:08:22,772
(elegant music)
252
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:27,689
(sighs)
253
00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:30,282
(upbeat music)
254
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,101
(cellphone chimes)
255
00:08:33,104 --> 00:08:35,944
(cellphone beeps)
256
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:44,600
- I'm cold.
257
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,030
What is this fuckery, Saz?
258
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:47,570
- Shut up, Holli!
259
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,410
We're trying something different today,
260
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,270
it's called visualization.
261
00:08:51,273 --> 00:08:53,413
Now, like I was saying,
you've got the ball,
262
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:55,600
you're running towards the goal.
263
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,530
It's an awesome run.
264
00:08:57,530 --> 00:09:00,300
You see a chance, you choose your spot,
265
00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:05,023
and, oh, you just scored
the epicest goal ever.
266
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:09,280
A massive wave of joy
surges through your body.
267
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,800
Greenshoots have won!
268
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,200
Your heart is bursting with pride
269
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,610
and it's time to get your trophy.
270
00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:21,190
It's gold and it feels amazing.
271
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:22,900
You're a winner!
272
00:09:25,422 --> 00:09:26,262
- Rocky?
273
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:28,433
Rocky!
274
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:32,300
- This stuff is bullshit.
275
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,860
How is this supposed to
help us beat West Mount?
276
00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,000
Saz has lost it.
277
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,560
Who's with me?
278
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,120
- Holli, what are you whispering about?
279
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,920
- Nothing.
- Come on, Holli.
280
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,880
No time for chatting,
unless you want a detention.
281
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,630
Maybe you all want a detention.
282
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,730
Who wants a detention?!
283
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,010
- Fuck's sake, calm your hype.
284
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:51,780
- You mean, "Calm your hype, Coach."
285
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:54,170
- [Viva] Saz, I think you're
getting a bit carried away.
286
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:55,000
- Carried away?
287
00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:55,843
She's lost it.
288
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:57,726
Who votes for another
vote for who's the coach?
289
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:58,990
- No, we're not doing that.
290
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,780
- Why? Are you scared?
291
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:01,610
Come on.
292
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,580
- I'm not sure I turned it round.
293
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:10,800
I'm still feeling that hostile vibe, Viva.
294
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,700
When I did the visualization,
295
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,700
I suddenly saw everyone holding a knife.
296
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:16,700
Did you see anything weird?
297
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,060
- No!
298
00:10:18,056 --> 00:10:19,056
Not weird at all.
299
00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:23,555
Wakey-wakey, Amber.
300
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,350
- 10 more minutes, Mum.
301
00:10:25,347 --> 00:10:28,097
(doorbell rings)
302
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,700
Okay, I'm gonna cook
us all a lovely dinner.
303
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:32,900
- Why don't we go upstairs?
304
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,490
Junior won't even know.
305
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:35,580
- Brandon, you know I'm just here
306
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,210
to help you look after
things while your mum's away.
307
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,240
- Yeah, you can help
me look after my penis.
308
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,680
- No, that's not what I meant.
309
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,880
- I know, but we can still--
310
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:42,710
- Enjoy being together?
311
00:10:42,713 --> 00:10:44,533
- Yeah, and--
- Watch telly together?
312
00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:45,780
- Yes, and--
- Play that game?
313
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:47,580
Pregnant ladies wrestling match?
314
00:10:49,118 --> 00:10:52,718
♪ Ooh, ah ♪
315
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,598
♪ Ooh ♪
316
00:10:54,595 --> 00:10:56,715
(Brandon groans)
317
00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:58,357
- My baby's coming!
318
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,120
My baby's coming!
(Amber laughs)
319
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,080
Yeah, that was a good game,
320
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,050
but I was thinking more of
that game where we, you know,
321
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,340
fuck each other's brains out.
322
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:11,890
- Oh, Brandon.
(footsteps treading)
323
00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:12,930
Thanks.
324
00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:15,680
- Okay, now is not a good time, Junior.
325
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,360
Amber will make you a nice
cup of tea in a minute.
326
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,490
Typical.
327
00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:20,620
Never offers me a lolly.
328
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,120
I've got to steal them when he's asleep.
329
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,460
- Maybe if you were nicer to him.
330
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,980
- I am nice, just not as nice as you.
331
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:28,820
I mean, you're the
complete package, Amber.
332
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:31,010
Your hair, your legs,
333
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:33,970
the cute way you stick your
tongue out when you're thinking.
334
00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:36,330
- You're just saying that, you
don't really like that face.
335
00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:38,325
- No, I do.
- Stop complimenting me.
336
00:11:38,327 --> 00:11:41,907
I'm only here to make
Spicy Sizzlin' Chicken.
337
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,430
- You can't just go around
saying Spicy Sizzlin' Chicken
338
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:45,820
and expect me not to get aroused.
339
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:47,970
It makes you look real sexy.
340
00:11:47,970 --> 00:11:49,140
- Seriously, Brandon.
341
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:50,920
Shut up or I'm leaving!
342
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,130
Why do you keep saying this stuff?!
343
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:52,960
Why don't you listen to me?
344
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,373
- 'Cause I know you like me.
345
00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:56,000
And I know you want me.
346
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,630
And you know I'm your boy.
347
00:11:57,630 --> 00:11:59,760
- Except you did it with my sister!
348
00:11:59,755 --> 00:12:01,005
- What, you still remember that?
349
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:04,070
- Yes, I still remember, it was
the worst moment of my life.
350
00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:06,503
And that's including when
I realized my dog, Toggle,
351
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,600
preferred my dad!
352
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,900
- Do you know what, this
is quite frustrating.
353
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,270
I've got a massive boner
354
00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:14,020
and now I'm gonna have to run
this thing off or something.
355
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:16,870
I can't stay here with
you feeling like this.
356
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,160
- Okay.
357
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,290
I'll make a start on dinner.
358
00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:21,262
(Brandon sighs)
359
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,250
(fork clacks)
Love to cook.
360
00:12:23,247 --> 00:12:25,907
(fork clacking)
361
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,330
Spicy Sizzlin' Chicken.
362
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,450
I made you a cup of tea!
363
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:37,840
- Thank you, Amber.
364
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,710
Has Brandon gone out?
365
00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:42,213
- Yeah, he had to, uh, go out.
366
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,920
- Tell me where he's
hidden the golden syrup.
367
00:12:46,921 --> 00:12:48,161
- Oh, you're not supposed to.
368
00:12:48,157 --> 00:12:52,767
- If you tell me, I can tell
you stuff about Brandon,
369
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:57,550
all kind of stuff about who he gets up to.
370
00:12:57,554 --> 00:12:58,654
- "Who"?
371
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,910
Did you mean what he gets
up to or did you mean who?
372
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:03,570
- Golden syrup.
373
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:08,631
(upbeat music)
374
00:13:18,945 --> 00:13:19,775
- Junior.
375
00:13:21,057 --> 00:13:22,467
Junior!
376
00:13:22,473 --> 00:13:23,313
Junior!
377
00:13:23,306 --> 00:13:26,056
(ominous music)
378
00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:28,503
(cellphone beeps)
379
00:13:28,495 --> 00:13:31,495
(cellphone buzzing)
380
00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:36,475
Aw, Spicy Sizzlin' Chicken.
381
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,695
(cellphone buzzing)
- What 1976 film
382
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,350
starring Sylvester Stallone
383
00:13:48,354 --> 00:13:51,134
spawned five sequels?
- Rocky.
384
00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:51,957
Rocky.
385
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,890
- It's Amber, she's babysitting Junior.
386
00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:55,160
She thinks he's dead.
387
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,900
- Tell her to put him
in the recovery position
388
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:58,350
and call an ambulance.
389
00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:01,102
(Amber grunting)
390
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:06,040
- It won't work, he's like spaghetti!
391
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,430
- Try slapping him in the face.
392
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,340
- No.
393
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,244
He's really frail, she might hurt him.
394
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:12,910
- It's not working.
395
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,020
- It's not working.
396
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,430
She's gonna whack him with a cushion.
397
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,530
- Tell her to call an
ambulance before she kills him.
398
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:19,440
- It's not working!
399
00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:21,835
I'm gonna try something else!
400
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,600
- She's waterboarding him with her Coke.
401
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:28,601
- It's not working!
402
00:14:28,789 --> 00:14:29,699
- It's not working.
403
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,360
- I really hope he's not dead.
404
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,080
- He's dead, Holli.
405
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,610
He's dead.
406
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:39,950
Dead, dead, dead.
407
00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:41,610
Completely dead.
408
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:44,330
I tried to save him, but I just couldn't!
409
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,830
He's dead!
410
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:49,130
I'm standing in a room with a dead man!
411
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:51,980
(screams)
412
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,730
(haunting music)
413
00:14:56,817 --> 00:14:59,397
(upbeat music)
414
00:15:05,457 --> 00:15:06,287
- Rocky!
415
00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:07,830
- He didn't see you.
416
00:15:08,668 --> 00:15:09,718
- Rocky!
417
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,690
- Oh, my god, how humiliating.
418
00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:12,620
Sit down, Viva.
419
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,180
- He didn't see me.
420
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,710
Doesn't matter.
421
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:16,605
I don't even care.
422
00:15:17,510 --> 00:15:19,400
Should I text him and tell
him that he didn't see me?
423
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,100
- Why don't you just
admit you still like him?
424
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,120
- Because I don't still like him.
425
00:15:23,124 --> 00:15:24,194
(snorts)
426
00:15:24,193 --> 00:15:25,923
I don't know what you're
laughing at, Amber.
427
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,730
Brandon is completely using
you and making you look a fool.
428
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:29,750
- No, he's not, I'm just being kind.
429
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,460
- Gullible, more like.
430
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:33,920
- Yeah, kind, gullible, caring,
431
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:34,950
they're all the same, aren't they?
432
00:15:34,945 --> 00:15:36,325
- No, they're different.
433
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:37,384
- Are they?
434
00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:38,210
Well, I don't care.
435
00:15:38,213 --> 00:15:39,973
If I can help Brandon
till his mum comes back,
436
00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:40,860
that's just being nice.
437
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:43,850
- So long as you're helping
and not just doing everything.
438
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:46,110
- Well, I have to do quite a
bit, 'cause the funny thing is,
439
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,130
Brandon doesn't know how to work
440
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:48,240
a lot of the stuff in his house.
441
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,120
- I bet he doesn't.
442
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,520
- He thought his vacuum cleaner
was some sort of ornament,
443
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,290
so I had to show him how to work it.
444
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,850
- Girls, I hope you all
enjoyed the chips I bought you,
445
00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,890
but it's time to get
down to some team talk.
446
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,270
- Can I tell everyone about my idea?
447
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:02,600
- Thank you, Holli, but not right now.
448
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,450
- Come on, Coach.
449
00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:05,990
- Okay.
450
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:08,520
Yeah, Holls, you go for it.
451
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,370
I welcome your input.
452
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,630
- We've just got to sort out the table.
453
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:14,210
(upbeat music)
454
00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:18,150
So if Ria positions herself
455
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:19,800
between the defense and the midfield,
456
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,170
then she can pick up through
balls to Viva and me.
457
00:16:22,170 --> 00:16:23,290
- I want Ria forward.
458
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:24,120
- Fuck's sake.
459
00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:25,103
Ria is forward.
460
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,380
Ria is the mustard.
461
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:27,260
Are you even listening?!
462
00:16:27,256 --> 00:16:28,086
- Ria's the mustard?
463
00:16:28,089 --> 00:16:29,439
You said she was the pepper.
464
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,250
- No, Amber's the pepper, Viva's the salt,
465
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,560
and you're the old teabag.
466
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,620
- I'm not being funny, Holls,
467
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,060
but it's best you leave
the brainwork to me.
468
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,610
This is how it's gonna work:
469
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:43,490
Me, Jade, Holli,
470
00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:46,400
Viva, Amber, Ria,
471
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,410
Shannabelle, Dominique.
472
00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:51,240
Got it all very carefully planned out.
473
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,070
- Saz, that's eight.
474
00:16:52,073 --> 00:16:53,343
We're playing seven a side.
475
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:56,010
- Ha, "I'm Saz, I took my maths GCSE early
476
00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:57,767
"and I still can't count to seven."
477
00:16:57,770 --> 00:16:59,330
- Yeah, right, sorry.
478
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:00,730
My bad.
479
00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:05,450
So what I would do is that.
480
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:08,921
- You're taking off the mayo?
481
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,860
- Yeah, I'm benching the mayo.
482
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:12,170
- You're benching the mayo?
483
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,430
- Yup.
484
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:14,730
- I'm the fucking mayo, aren't I?!
485
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,520
- Yup, you're the fucking mayo.
486
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,300
(fist thuds)
(mayonnaise splats)
487
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,000
Right, Holli, you're off the team.
488
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,990
You're not part of the squad,
you're not a sub, you're gone!
489
00:17:26,987 --> 00:17:28,027
Get out of here!
490
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,260
- Okay, right.
491
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:31,770
I'm gonna hold that vote again
now and you can't stop me.
492
00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:34,360
Who wants me to take over as new manager?
493
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:37,460
- Sorry, babe.
494
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:41,692
(mayonnaise splats)
495
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:52,850
- Okay, we haven't got much time,
496
00:17:52,850 --> 00:17:54,880
so we're gonna work hard
for the next couple of days,
497
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,880
and we're gonna keep
it to the three basics:
498
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,150
tackling, diving and trash-talking.
499
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,250
- What's trash-talking?
500
00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:01,360
- It's kinda like when
someone from West Mount
501
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:04,140
is about to take a free kick,
you go up to them and say,
502
00:18:04,137 --> 00:18:06,667
"your mum gives blow jobs
behind Lidls" to put them off.
503
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,230
- But what if it's not true?
504
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:10,960
- Come on, it's West
Mount, it's a 50/50 chance.
505
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,540
- It doesn't matter if
it's true, just abuse them.
506
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:15,190
- Your mum does it with hamsters.
507
00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:16,020
- Nastier.
508
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:17,753
- Your mum does it with ugly hamsters.
509
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,548
- Ruder!
- Your mum gives blowjobs
510
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:20,893
to fat hamsters!
511
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,510
- Your homework is to
work on better cusses.
512
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:29,640
Now, I'm gonna give you
a diving masterclass.
513
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,150
When you dive, it's got to look
like you've really tripped.
514
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,750
Viva's gonna give you a demo of this,
515
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:35,510
and this is what it needs to look like.
516
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,608
(kick thuds)
- Ow!
517
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:39,580
- Did everyone see that?
518
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,130
- I need a plaster.
519
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:42,630
- That's it, girls, but when you fall,
520
00:18:42,630 --> 00:18:43,810
you've got to commit to it.
521
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,360
Really commit.
522
00:18:47,247 --> 00:18:48,467
(kick thuds)
(Jade groans)
523
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:50,060
- Good work, Jade, that's
what I'm talking about.
524
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,610
- I think I've broke my ankle.
525
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:52,440
- That's great.
526
00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:53,493
Really lay it on.
527
00:18:53,490 --> 00:18:54,860
Maybe you've broken both ankles.
528
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:56,230
- Think she's really hurt.
529
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:58,020
- No, this is what you all need to do,
530
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,350
go massively over the top.
531
00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:00,340
- I'm really fucking hurt.
532
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,440
- Of course you are, Jade.
533
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,950
Have a penalty, you're my star pupil.
534
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:05,920
Ooh, you've got a bit of blood there.
535
00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:07,351
- Blood?
536
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:09,770
(Jade sighs)
537
00:19:10,810 --> 00:19:12,560
- Very tricky without Saz and Jade.
538
00:19:14,059 --> 00:19:16,889
(kick thuds)
- Ow!
539
00:19:19,098 --> 00:19:21,768
(elegant music)
540
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:28,106
(Brandon sighs)
541
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,390
Why did she have to die
without ever knowing
542
00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:33,280
her long-lost love
actually lived next door?
543
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,410
- I don't know, hon.
544
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:36,380
Sometimes, life's just sad.
545
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:37,382
- I'm going.
546
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:40,440
- Goodnight, Junior.
- Night, Junior.
547
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,550
Now that your mum's coming back,
548
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,150
we won't see much of each other.
549
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:48,860
- I want to ask you something.
550
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:49,710
- Yes, Brandon?
551
00:19:51,188 --> 00:19:53,118
- Can you do me a couple
of bags of washing?
552
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,700
It turns out Junior's been leaving
553
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,240
his dirty clothes under the bed.
554
00:19:56,239 --> 00:19:57,899
- What?
- It proper stinks.
555
00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,230
But if you get in there quick,
556
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,460
you can get it before he drops off.
557
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,490
- I showed you how to
work the washing machine.
558
00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:05,820
- Yeah, but I'm not good at
remembering that kind of stuff.
559
00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:08,350
- My friends are right about you.
560
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:09,410
You're a user.
561
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:10,950
You're only nice to me
when you want something.
562
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:12,070
You're worst than Toggle.
563
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:13,750
- Who?
- Toggle, my dog
564
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,840
from when I was little,
565
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,890
only nice to me when he wanted a biscuit.
566
00:20:19,413 --> 00:20:22,213
(door slams)
(fence rattles)
567
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:24,520
- Hurt you very badly, hasn't he?
568
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,750
- Yeah.
569
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:28,130
Toggle wasn't really a kind dog.
570
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,400
- Amber, I'm talking about Brandon.
571
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,180
- Oh, Brandon.
572
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:35,070
Yeah, he hurt me, but the thing is, Viva,
573
00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:36,720
when you love a boy like I love Brandon,
574
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,120
you can't just turn it off like a tap.
575
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,850
- No, sure, but someone can decide
576
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,300
not to be in a bad relationship.
577
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,990
- But that's what I'm
trying to tell you, Viva.
578
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:47,880
You can't control being
in love, no one can,
579
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,830
even Katy Perry or Taylor Swift or you.
580
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:51,990
- Meaning what?
581
00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:52,920
- You're the one who doesn't realize
582
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,637
you're still mad on Rocky.
583
00:20:57,184 --> 00:20:58,024
- Rocky!
584
00:20:58,017 --> 00:20:59,147
- Rocky Mountains?
585
00:20:59,154 --> 00:21:00,454
- Look!
586
00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:01,857
- Rocky!
587
00:21:01,858 --> 00:21:03,528
Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!
588
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,310
Oh, God.
589
00:21:06,858 --> 00:21:07,978
Oh, no!
590
00:21:07,977 --> 00:21:09,847
- What?
- I'm an idiot!
591
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,690
The world's been trying
to send me a message
592
00:21:11,690 --> 00:21:13,620
and I haven't been listening.
593
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,280
I've got to find Rocky.
594
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,120
- Where are you going?
595
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:16,950
We've got the match.
596
00:21:16,953 --> 00:21:18,253
- I need to find Rocky.
597
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:19,760
- No need, he's coming.
598
00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:20,603
Rocky's coming!
599
00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:21,616
- [Rocky] I've been looking for you.
600
00:21:21,620 --> 00:21:24,350
- You wanted Rocky and he appeared.
601
00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:25,450
OMG, it's destiny.
602
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,350
- Can you give us some privacy, girls?
603
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,370
- It's our big game today.
604
00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:34,890
- And us.
605
00:21:34,890 --> 00:21:36,450
- I was gonna.
- I wanted to.
606
00:21:36,449 --> 00:21:37,769
- [Rocky] We need to talk.
607
00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:39,130
- Yeah, we do.
608
00:21:39,127 --> 00:21:40,777
- You know, a lot of the football dudes
609
00:21:40,780 --> 00:21:42,720
have these little superstitions and shit.
610
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,810
- Oh, yeah, the girls are the same.
611
00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:47,900
- Okay, so before we split up,
612
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:52,040
my little superstition was
always to like, kiss you,
613
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,900
last thing before I went
and got changed for a match.
614
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,130
- Oh, Rocky--
615
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:57,653
- But, since I stopped doing
the little kissing thing,
616
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,580
I haven't scored a single goal.
617
00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:01,740
It's even got me doubting my own talent,
618
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:04,550
like I'm bad at football or something.
619
00:22:04,550 --> 00:22:07,150
- So you need to kiss me?
620
00:22:07,150 --> 00:22:08,040
Is that what this is about?
621
00:22:08,037 --> 00:22:09,347
- You don't mind?
622
00:22:09,350 --> 00:22:10,820
'Cause I thought with us being like
623
00:22:10,820 --> 00:22:13,720
four million percent
finished, you wouldn't...
624
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,890
It would be a no-tongues deal, obviously.
625
00:22:15,890 --> 00:22:18,370
I just need to--
- Rocky, kiss me.
626
00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:20,300
I mean, it's fine.
627
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,520
- Okay.
628
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,108
That's that done.
629
00:22:33,110 --> 00:22:34,160
Hope it works.
630
00:22:35,090 --> 00:22:36,490
Gemma's waiting for me.
631
00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:38,430
She's a bit jealous of you.
632
00:22:38,430 --> 00:22:39,920
- You're seeing someone else?
633
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:40,990
- Yep.
634
00:22:40,990 --> 00:22:42,460
Moving on like you wanted.
635
00:22:42,460 --> 00:22:43,470
Good luck today, yeah?
636
00:22:43,470 --> 00:22:45,600
And thanks for the, you know.
637
00:22:46,467 --> 00:22:49,047
(lively music)
638
00:22:58,099 --> 00:23:00,849
(toilet flushes)
639
00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:04,608
- [Amber] Holli, why are
you only wearing two bras?
640
00:23:04,605 --> 00:23:06,055
- One of my bras is missing.
641
00:23:06,056 --> 00:23:07,176
Don't know what happened to it.
642
00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:09,774
(lively music)
643
00:23:12,313 --> 00:23:13,153
Don't tell anyone,
644
00:23:13,146 --> 00:23:15,446
I want everyone believing
everything's fine.
645
00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:17,000
Shit, where are your lucky boots?
646
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,860
- Oh, that's a weird story.
647
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:21,350
I put them outside the backdoor,
'cause they smelt nasty,
648
00:23:21,350 --> 00:23:22,830
and a fox went toilet in them.
649
00:23:22,830 --> 00:23:24,060
It's absolutely true.
650
00:23:24,060 --> 00:23:25,240
- But you've still got them, right?
651
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,120
- Yes.
652
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,600
Yes.
653
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,490
And no.
654
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,360
- Which?
- No.
655
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,040
- Amber!
- My mum threw them away.
656
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,410
- Oh, my god, Ria's eating a Crunchie.
657
00:23:34,410 --> 00:23:36,230
So is Shannabelle and Jade.
658
00:23:36,230 --> 00:23:37,980
- The vending machine was out of Kit Kats.
659
00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:39,150
- This is bad.
- Maybe I could try
660
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:40,140
to do the three-wee thing.
661
00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:41,660
- Don't be dumb, that's Saz's thing.
662
00:23:41,660 --> 00:23:43,500
- Okay.
- Maybe worth a try.
663
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:44,330
- Well, actually I just went wee,
664
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:46,633
don't think I can go again.
665
00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:47,820
There's a complete lack of urine
666
00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:49,220
in my bladder at the moment.
667
00:23:50,485 --> 00:23:51,345
(clapping)
668
00:23:51,350 --> 00:23:52,510
- Okay, good luck, everyone.
669
00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:55,800
And one last piece of advice:
Don't forget girls have boobs.
670
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,750
Elbow them in the boobs
if you get the chance.
671
00:23:57,750 --> 00:24:00,300
It really hurts, unless
you're wearing three bras.
672
00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:02,270
Okay, sisters, it's time.
673
00:24:02,272 --> 00:24:04,862
(lively music)
674
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:18,070
(grunts)
675
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,792
- Don't wanna play, I don't feel good.
676
00:24:22,790 --> 00:24:23,620
- You're playing.
677
00:24:23,623 --> 00:24:27,033
We're already minus Saz and
Jade is, like, so crippled.
678
00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:28,693
- Sazzy!
679
00:24:28,692 --> 00:24:29,862
Yay, yay, yay!
680
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:32,790
- You're back, then?
681
00:24:32,793 --> 00:24:33,633
- Yes, Coach.
682
00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:35,816
When you're in a team,
you have to fucking play,
683
00:24:35,820 --> 00:24:38,120
even though everyone in
the team hates you, Coach.
684
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,530
- Well, if you're making the
effort, I suppose I have to.
685
00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:41,730
- What's the matter?
686
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:42,740
Is it Rocky?
687
00:24:42,740 --> 00:24:43,940
- I've lost him forever.
688
00:24:45,010 --> 00:24:45,850
He's seeing Gemma.
689
00:24:45,850 --> 00:24:46,840
- Gemma?!
690
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,020
She's really pretty.
691
00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:49,900
- Really beautiful, and clever.
692
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,640
- She can drive and her car is well flash.
693
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,740
- And apparently she gives fantastic head.
694
00:24:56,276 --> 00:24:57,826
Don't know how I know that.
695
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,700
- Yeah, well, you still
have to play football.
696
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:01,580
We'll all get pissed and cry later.
697
00:25:01,579 --> 00:25:04,579
(upbeat rock music)
698
00:25:18,803 --> 00:25:19,893
- They look angry.
699
00:25:19,890 --> 00:25:21,390
- It's all part of their act.
700
00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:23,400
They look angry, we look angry.
701
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,960
- We're all gonna get murdered.
702
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,810
- Hopefully, they'll target Holli first.
703
00:25:29,678 --> 00:25:31,608
(whistle shrills)
704
00:25:31,607 --> 00:25:34,357
(girls shouting)
705
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:41,748
- [Girl] Fuck you!
706
00:25:44,498 --> 00:25:47,328
(whistle shrills)
707
00:25:51,975 --> 00:25:53,075
(whistle shrills)
708
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,820
- Five-nil, it's not that bad,
we can come back from that.
709
00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:58,145
Look what happened last
week, we scored nine goals.
710
00:25:58,150 --> 00:26:00,070
- Why don't we just forfeit
the game and go for ice cream?
711
00:26:00,070 --> 00:26:01,260
- Because we're not quitters.
712
00:26:01,264 --> 00:26:02,394
What aren't we?!
713
00:26:02,390 --> 00:26:04,370
- Quitters.
- I said, what aren't we?!
714
00:26:04,374 --> 00:26:05,944
- Quitters!
- Who are we?!
715
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:07,441
- Winners.
- Amber.
716
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,270
- And don't forget to trash talk them.
717
00:26:10,270 --> 00:26:11,640
Making them give away penalties
718
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,520
is most probably our best chance.
719
00:26:13,515 --> 00:26:14,345
(clapping)
720
00:26:14,348 --> 00:26:16,928
(mellow music)
721
00:26:35,866 --> 00:26:38,446
(lively music)
722
00:27:00,712 --> 00:27:03,302
(group cheers)
723
00:27:05,093 --> 00:27:07,993
- Your mama's so fat, when she
eats a Mars, she eats Mars!
724
00:27:08,892 --> 00:27:11,062
You know, like the planet.
725
00:27:12,384 --> 00:27:14,974
Your mama's so fat, one of
her boobs speaks fluent Welsh,
726
00:27:14,973 --> 00:27:18,643
because she's so wide, one
of her boobs is in Wales!
727
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,240
Wales is next to England, right?
728
00:27:22,315 --> 00:27:23,755
- Hey, bitch, your mama's so fat,
729
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,160
her chair committed suicide.
730
00:27:26,420 --> 00:27:28,240
(punch thuds)
(whistle shrills)
731
00:27:28,239 --> 00:27:29,909
- [Referee] Penalty!
732
00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:32,319
- [All] Sazzy!
733
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,230
Sazzy!
734
00:27:33,228 --> 00:27:34,248
Sazzy!
735
00:27:34,248 --> 00:27:35,138
Sazzy!
- Five-five with only
736
00:27:35,143 --> 00:27:38,433
two bras, two wees, three
Crunchies, and no lucky boots.
737
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:40,210
Think what we could
have done on a good day.
738
00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:42,980
- What do you want, Brandon?
739
00:27:42,983 --> 00:27:44,233
I'm not talking to you no more.
740
00:27:44,229 --> 00:27:45,269
You're an idiot.
741
00:27:45,270 --> 00:27:47,490
- I'm sorry, you're right.
742
00:27:47,490 --> 00:27:50,180
My mum's back and I wanna say
thank you for all your help.
743
00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:52,720
We could go to a film or go for a meal
744
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,120
or do whatever you wanna do.
745
00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:02,250
(Amber panting)
(Brandon panting)
746
00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:06,297
(Amber squeals)
747
00:28:06,297 --> 00:28:07,327
(Amber laughs)
748
00:28:07,325 --> 00:28:08,505
(Brandon groans)
749
00:28:08,507 --> 00:28:10,237
- My baby's coming!
750
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,770
My baby's coming!
751
00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:12,943
(Amber laughs)
752
00:28:12,939 --> 00:28:15,759
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
753
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,530
♪ But I say it feels all right ♪
754
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:23,531
♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪
755
00:28:24,018 --> 00:28:27,108
♪ There's a million things
that I could change ♪
756
00:28:27,109 --> 00:28:29,959
♪ But maybe it's all right ♪
757
00:28:29,957 --> 00:28:32,967
♪ 'Cause this is my life, this
if my life, this is my life ♪
758
00:28:32,971 --> 00:28:34,981
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
759
00:28:34,984 --> 00:28:36,794
♪ It's gonna be fine ♪
♪ People keep saying ♪
760
00:28:36,794 --> 00:28:38,524
♪ That I'm doing it wrong ♪
761
00:28:38,524 --> 00:28:40,664
♪ People keep saying
that I'm doing it wrong ♪
762
00:28:40,655 --> 00:28:42,465
♪ It's gonna be fine ♪
♪ People keep saying ♪
763
00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:45,967
♪ That I'm doing it wrong ♪
52910
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