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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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‐ Dear video diary,
4
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,762
I am currently
trapped in space
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00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:30,031
after being betrayed by
Professor Von Duct
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and my henchmen,
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who have taken over my lair
and left me for dead.
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00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,668
But I'm not giving up.
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00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,640
Although things
do look bleak,
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00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:42,739
I am, after all, Dr. Havoc,
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00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,753
and I know what I need to do.
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00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:49,283
I'm gonna have to science
the shit out of this.
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00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:55,355
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come back.
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‐‐‐‐.
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00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,655
Well, all right,
so much for that idea.
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00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,825
I, uh, guess it's time
for plan B.
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Help!
Help!
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00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,835
Is anybody there?
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00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,966
Please, somebody help.
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00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:15,612
Kyle. Steve. Okay, please,
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if you'll let me come back,
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I promise
I'll be a better boss.
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Von Duct. Anybody?
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♪ ♪
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‐ Okay, Professor Von Duct,
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the laser has been triangulated
over the city of Houston.
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We are all systems go.
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‐ Excellent. [laughs]
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Soon the world
will bear witness
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to the power
of Professor Von Duct.
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[laughs]
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‐ You guys, you guys.
Come on.
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Okay, I learned my lesson.
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Come on, guys. Somebody?
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‐ [speaking alien language]
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‐ Oh. Hey, little guy.
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00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,500
Hey, I‐‐I need you
to go get help, okay?
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00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:16,099
I need you
to go find someone.
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Okay? You got me?
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‐ [speaking alien language]
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‐ All right. Good job.
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‐ [speaking alien language]
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‐ No. No, I‐ I need you to go
find a person.
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‐ [speaking alien language]
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[grunting]
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‐ No. No. Stop. No!
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‐ [grunting]
‐ [sighs]
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This is it.
This is how I'm gonna die.
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In space watching a minion
‐‐‐‐ a chair.
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‐ [grunting]
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‐ [speaking alien language]
‐ No, no!
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Com‐‐come back.
No, come back, please!
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‐ Darren. Are you down here?
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00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,911
‐ Hello? Is someone there?
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‐ Ah, Darren!
What the ‐‐‐‐?
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‐ Oh, my God, Kim.
Oh, thank God.
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Please, I need your help.
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‐ Jesus Christ, Darren.
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00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,021
We were supposed to meet
an hour ago
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00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,916
to sign these divorce papers.
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Where the ‐‐‐‐ are you?
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‐ I'm in space.
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‐ You know, this is so typical.
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‐ Kim, please.
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You've been yelling at me for
the last 20 years straight.
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Can you just listen to me
for one minute?
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Kim?
‐ I'm considering it.
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‐ Look, I need you to launch
a rescue pod.
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I'm trapped in outer space.
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Von Duct and the henchman
turned against me
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and left me out here to die.
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‐ You know, I told you
to never hire that guy.
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‐ Can we please
not do this now?
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‐ I said
you can't trust a German.
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Did you know that Hitler
was German?
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‐ Yes, Kim.
I knew that Hitler was German.
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That's not something
people don't know.
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00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,504
Now, can you please just
help me launch this rescue pod?
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‐ Uh, fine.
What do I have to do?
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‐ All right. There should be
three red buttons
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on the right
control panel.
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Press all three buttons
at the same time.
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00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,240
‐ Okay. I'm pressing all three.
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00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:09,075
‐ Uh, Sir, it looks like
someone launched a rescue ship.
85
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It's headed straight
for the laser.
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00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:13,094
‐ What? Where? Call it back.
87
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,486
‐ We can't, sir.
It's on autopilot.
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00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,559
‐ Okay, great. Now you need
to get out of there.
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00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:21,458
‐ No, I'm not leaving
until you tell me
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00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:24,061
when you're gonna sign
these divorce papers.
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00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,504
‐ Oh, uh, let's see.
92
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,769
Probably not until I get back
from outer space, Kim.
93
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,073
‐ Wow.
94
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:36,082
I just did something
really nice for you,
95
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,546
and now you're gonna
yell at me.
96
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,805
You know what? I'm leaving.
97
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:41,954
I'm leaving.
98
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,048
‐ Perfect. Run.
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00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,220
[dramatic music]
100
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,459
‐ Guten tag, Mrs. Havoc.
101
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,419
‐ Oh, shit.
102
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,333
‐ What? Wha‐what is it?
103
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:58,273
‐ Well, well. It looks like
you're smarter than I thought.
104
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:02,435
‐ Von Duct. I swear,
if you hurt her‐‐
105
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,635
‐ Oh, don't worry Dr. Havoc.
106
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,808
No, no, no.
[clicks tongue]
107
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:09,076
No. I'll be releasing her
just as soon as
108
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:12,675
I've taken over the world.
[laughs]
109
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:16,819
But if you try to stop me...
110
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,747
she dies.
111
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,892
‐ Are you wearing a cape?
112
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,587
‐ Huh? Yeah, it's my new
super‐villain outfit.
113
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,160
‐ You just added a cape.
114
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,628
‐ Yeah, it's cool.
115
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:30,326
‐ Yeah. But, you can't just
wear a cap and an apron.
116
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,370
You look like a ‐‐‐‐‐‐‐
vampire who teaches woodshop.
117
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,496
‐ Goodbye, Dr. Havoc.
118
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,410
‐ [laughs]
‐‐‐‐‐‐‐ got him.
119
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,509
‐ [laughs]
Oh. Bang, bang, bang.
120
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,682
Bang, bang, bang.
121
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,151
‐ Oh, you shot me, son.
122
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,120
A bull's eye shot.
123
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,448
‐ [laughs]
Bull's eye, Papa.
124
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:57,694
‐ [laughs]
What's more fun than this?
125
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,891
[doorbell dings]
126
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,132
Ah, that must be the hookers
we ordered.
127
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,797
Timeout.
128
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,627
Oh, what the hell, Havoc? No.
It's Sunday.
129
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,474
‐ Brock, I need your help.
130
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,539
What the hell's
going on in here?
131
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,708
‐ We're playing Revenant,
132
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,036
The game of survival
and revenge.
133
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,311
‐ They killed my boy
134
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,510
‐ That's right, son.
135
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:20,611
But you're gonna make sure
they get theirs.
136
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,684
[laughs]
He's so in it. It's great.
137
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,352
Oh, hey Havoc, do you wanna be
the bear?
138
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,992
‐ What? No. Brock,
I need your help with Kim.
139
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,018
‐ [laughs]
Uh, no, thank you.
140
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:34,264
That ship has sailed,
crashed into an iceberg
141
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,501
and sunk far down to the bottom
of the ocean,
142
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,826
like the Laurentian Abyssal.
143
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:42,142
James Cameron couldn't find
that shit, right?
144
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,495
"The Abyss?"
‐ No. Brock,
145
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:44,703
you don't understand.
146
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:47,344
Von Duct betrayed me and‐‐
‐ I'm sorry. Who?
147
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,240
‐ Professor Von Duct.
You know, my assistant.
148
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,582
‐ Uh, nope. I don't think
I've ever met him.
149
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,148
‐ Okay. Well, he's my assistant
150
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,346
and he's‐‐
‐ What's he do?
151
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,577
‐ He assists me.
152
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,252
‐ Ri‐‐right. Yeah.
But, like, how?
153
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,121
‐ It doesn't ‐‐‐‐‐‐ matter,
Brock. Okay?
154
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,290
‐ Well, maybe if it mattered
to you more,
155
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,288
then he wouldn't
have betrayed you.
156
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,589
Mm, huh? How about that?
157
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,130
‐ Thank you. Good point.
Now, will you shut up?
158
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:09,056
Professor Von Duct betrayed me
and is holding Kim hostage,
159
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,832
and now he's gonna take
over the world
160
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,030
with a space laser,
unless you and I
161
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,603
can get in there and stop him.
162
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:20,112
‐ My, my. What a tangled web
the fates have woven together
163
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,236
for the two of us.
164
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,381
‐ Oh, God.
165
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,105
‐ The woman
we both fought over for
166
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,181
all those many years
is now the woman
167
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,151
we must both fight for.
168
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,920
Irony,
welcome to our pillow fort.
169
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,860
‐ Yep. Shit's cray.
So are you in?
170
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:58,975
‐ All right.
I'll join you, Havoc.
12256
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