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[suspenseful music]
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♪ ♪
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[dramatic music]
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‐ Dun, da‐dun‐dun,
da‐dun‐dun.
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Oh, fuck.
Ow, jus‐‐God damn it.
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Heh‐heh‐heh‐heh.
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Heh.
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Hah.
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Dun‐dun.
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Da‐dun‐dun.
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Dun‐dun‐dun‐dun.
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♪ ♪
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[grunts]
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♪ ♪
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Ah.
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[sighs]
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Ha.
Completely undetected.
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Oh, God damn it.
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These cameras weren't
in the plans.
20
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Oh, page two of three?
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Where the fuck is page three?
22
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Oh, God damn‐‐
all right, well,
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I'll just get what I can
and get the hell out of here.
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[ominous music]
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‐ Hello, Dr. Havoc.
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‐ Ah, Super Jamaal.
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‐ And this time,
he didn't come alone.
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‐ Crystal Mynxx.
I mean Gail.
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Gail. I‐I‐I said Gail.
30
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Ah, you two are, uh,
working together now?
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‐ That's right, and we're
more than just superheroes.
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‐ We're the
Social Justice Warriors.
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‐ And we're here to make
this bank vault...
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‐ A safe space.
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‐ Oh, I see
where this is going.
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So are you planning to stop me
from robbing this bank,
37
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or have I done something
to offend you guys?
38
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‐ Well, it does offend me
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that you just referred to us
as "you guys."
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‐ Oh, here we go.
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‐ I would prefer
you address us
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with a more gender‐inclusive
term than "you guys."
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For example, "you people."
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‐ Uh, actually,
I'd be pretty offended
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if you referred to us
as "you people."
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‐ Oh, yes.
Of course, of course.
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Just give us a second.
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[both whispering indistinctly]
49
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We have decided
that the best way
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to collectively address us
51
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would be with the phrase
"you all."
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‐ Ah. Super.
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Okay, well, glad we got
through that.
54
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So are we gonna fight or what?
55
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‐ Actually, we're not here
to fight you.
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‐ We want you to join us
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and become
a Social Justice Warrior.
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‐ What's that, now?
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‐ We realize
that as superheroes,
60
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we've been fighting
against the wrong things.
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‐ Think about it, Havoc.
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What's the greatest threat
to our society today?
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‐ A supervillain
who's using stolen gold
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to buy nuclear bombs?
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‐ No, that's nothing compared
to what we're fighting.
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‐ What we're up against
is the greatest,
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most powerful weapon
on the face of the Earth.
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‐ Stuff that offends people.
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‐ I see.
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Well, uh, you know,
kudos to you guys
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for painting
with such a broad brush.
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But, uh, I gotta ask,
why do you want me?
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‐ Look, I know we've had
our differences in the past,
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but we think you're
a pretty progressive guy.
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And for us to really
make a difference,
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we're gonna need a big team.
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‐ Uh‐huh.
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How many people
are on your team right now?
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‐ Well, we're only
recruiting the best.
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So right now,
it's Gail, myself,
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and a 19‐year‐old on Tumblr
who identifies as catkin.
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‐ Catkin? Is that, like,
a superhero name?
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‐ No, they're not a superhero.
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Individuals who are catkin
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do not fit in a gender binary.
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They do not identify
as man or woman
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but rather as cat.
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‐ Oh. That's fun.
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I did not realize
you could do that.
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‐ That's why we need your help.
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There are literally hundreds
of other kin binaries
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that we need to defend
and bring into
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mainstream consciousness.
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‐ Look, I think it's great
that you're out there
95
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defending every cat and dog
on Tumblr.
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00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,252
But I think I'm gonna pass
on joining.
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‐ Wow, so you're just
an insensitive bigot
98
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like the rest of them.
99
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‐ Whoa, I'm‐‐I'm not a bigot.
100
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You just‐‐you just said
I'm a pretty open‐minded guy.
101
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‐ Yeah, but then
you wouldn't join us.
102
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So clearly,
you're an ignorant,
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oppressive discriminator.
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‐ Jamaal, I'm feeling
really triggered right now.
105
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‐ I'm feeling triggered
as a motherfucker.
106
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‐ Whoa, whoa!
107
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Just‐‐just because I don't
want to join your movement
108
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doesn't mean I'm working
against it.
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‐ Yes, it does, Havoc.
110
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Anyone who is not
a Social Justice Warrior
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and does not attack any and all
offensive behavior,
112
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is basically just
a modern‐day Hitler.
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‐ Exactly.
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‐ Guys. I mean, Jesus.
115
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‐ Whoa. Guys?
116
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‐ Jesus? How dare you
117
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invoke your Judeo‐Christian
privilege on us.
118
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,493
‐ Ah. Christ. Sorry.
119
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both: Whoa!
‐ Oh, God. Sorry.
120
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,595
Gah, sorry, sorry!
121
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‐ Trigger me one more time,
Havoc.
122
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,098
I dare you.
123
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,569
‐ This is not a safe space.
124
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‐ All right,
everyone just‐‐
125
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,272
let me see if I can
understand this.
126
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,241
You all, right,
127
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fight against anything
that is offensive to anyone.
128
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‐ Mm‐hmm.
129
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,076
‐ Well, I'm afraid
I have some bad news,
130
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because that offends me.
131
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‐ What?
How are you offended?
132
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,622
‐ Well, uh, you see,
133
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,761
and this is not easy
for me to say here,
134
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:29,998
but, uh, my whole life,
I've actually,
135
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deep down, identified
as a...villainkin.
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‐ Villainkin?
137
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What the fuck is that?
138
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,538
‐ Well, I'll tell you,
Super Jamaal.
139
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I don't identify
as a man or woman.
140
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I simply identify as villain.
141
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‐ Mm.
142
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,177
‐ One whose existence is just
143
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to perpetrate acts of evil.
144
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,488
And I gotta be honest.
145
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Right now, I'm feeling
real triggered.
146
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‐ Oh, no. Really?
147
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‐ You two stopping me
from robbing this bank is‐‐
148
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it's basically like stopping me
from breathing.
149
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Really offensive.
150
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,933
And I'm really offended
right now.
151
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,204
‐ I'm sorry, Havoc.
152
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,042
We respect you,
who you identify with,
153
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,368
and we want to fight for you.
154
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,944
‐ That's very nice, but I'm
just so offended right now.
155
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,413
I really‐‐I'm gonna take
all this gold
156
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,881
to a safe space
where I'm not so triggered
157
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,481
by how‐‐by how offensive
you guys are.
158
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:25,022
‐ We are so sorry.
We didn't mean to.
159
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,718
Would‐‐would you like us
to walk you out?
160
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,861
‐ Nope, that's offensive.
161
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,215
That‐‐that‐‐that offends me
162
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,893
that you would think
that I need help
163
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from a non‐villainkin.
164
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,826
Whoa. Wow. Really?
165
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,828
‐ Okay. Understood.
166
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,830
‐ I'm also being offended
by this door being open.
167
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,472
So I'm just gonna close this.
It's very offensive.
168
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,868
Feeling very triggered.
169
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:43,899
I'm just gonna close it,
170
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,374
because I'm‐‐I'm so offended.
171
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:48,112
Oh. Closing it.
172
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:52,009
‐ Villainkin.
Damn it, Gail!
173
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,082
How could we have been
so damn insensitive?
174
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:58,320
‐ Hey, hey, don't be so hard
on yourself, Super Jamaal.
175
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:20,938
At the very least,
12521
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