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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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‐ All right. Here you go.
This is your next mission.
4
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‐ Oh, oh, oh, secret agent
Brock Mason.
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00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,667
So tonight we finally finish
the job.
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‐ No, no, no.
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The mission is not gonna be
to kill him tonight.
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‐ But the I'm Nadia,
seductive assassin.
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Killing is kind of my thing.
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‐ No. Yeah,
and you're clearly effective.
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00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,847
But killing going Brock
is gonna have to wait.
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00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,976
You see,
he's got this new girlfriend.
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‐ Oh, new girlfriend, huh?
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00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,246
Yeah, it must be a relief
that he's not
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fucking your wife anymore,
you know?
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Ha‐ha
‐ Heh.
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‐ Remember that?
‐ Yeah, uh‐‐
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‐ What a crazy time.
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‐ Here's the‐‐
here‐‐the thing is‐
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‐ Wait a minute.
‐ What...
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‐ No.
‐ I was gonna say...
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‐ Uh‐oh.
‐ Yeah. He, uh...
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‐ You are you are fucking
kidding me.
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You know.
‐ Yes.
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00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,896
‐ He's fucking dating
your wife?
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00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,201
‐ Yeah. Uh, yeah.
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That‐‐basically,
that is the current situation.
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‐ Get some balls, man.
‐ Hey.
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‐ Get some fucking balls and
screw them into your dick
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‐ Okay. First off,
I'm your boss. Okay?
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‐ Okay.
‐ So...
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‐ You're right, you're right.
‐ Ease up.
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And I'm doing something,
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I'm being proactive;
I've hired an assassin.
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‐ You're right.
So you want me to kill her?
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‐ No. Absolutely not.
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In fact, you do not wanna
hurt her at all.
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‐ All right.
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So what is it exactly
you want me to do?
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‐ Okay. Right now they're down
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at the casino bar
having a drink.
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I'm gonna give you this earpiece
so I can communicate with you.
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You're gonna go down there,
order a drink,
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and start flirting with Brock.
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Brock being a chauvinistic piece
of shit that he is,
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won't be able
to resist the bait.
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Then when Kim finally sees
his true colors,
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she will leave him,
move back in with me,
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and my life will finally go back
to normal.
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00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,421
‐ So you want me
to fuck him?
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00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:08,564
‐ Eh, I mean, try I guess,
see how far you can get.
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Just do not hurt Kim, okay?
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Promise me you will not lay
a finger on her.
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‐ I promise I will not
injure her,
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but I may break her heart.
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‐ Okay, testing.
Can you hear me?
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‐ Da, what's up?
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‐ No, I'm testing the earpiece.
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‐ Oh, da, it works.
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[laughter]
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‐ So not only did I diffuse
the bomb,
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but let's just say that
Colombian drug dealer's son
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is gonna have to grow up
without a daddy.
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[laughter]
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‐ Ohh...
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God, it is so great to be
with a winner for once.
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‐ Attention, Kim Havoc.
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Attention, Kim Havoc.
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There is a phone call for you
at the concierge desk.
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Please report to the lobby.
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‐ Who the fuck is calling me?
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‐ Well, well,
we meet again, Mr. Mason.
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‐ [coughs]
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Oh‐‐Oh, hey‐‐hey, you.
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It's so funny.
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It's so funny that you just
walked up right now,
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because I was thinking,
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I have to call you‐‐her.
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I have to call you.
‐ No. No, it is fine.
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‐ No, I totally was.
I really was.
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It's just, like,
I've been so crazy
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with work and stuff
this month, you know.
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I mean, just, like‐‐
‐ No, seriously,
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I'm not here for apology.
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‐ Oh, okay, cool.
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Uh, so then what is it
you are here for?
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‐ I am here for my
pre‐sex cocktail.
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Guess what comes next.
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‐ Hello?
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,330
‐ Uh, hey, Kim.
Uh, how's it going?
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‐ Darren?
What the fuck do you want?
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‐ Oh, well, uh, I just,
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uh, wanted to say what's up?
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And now I've said it.
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So you should probably just
get back to whatever
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00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,243
you were doing before.
Okay. See ya.
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‐ Ugh, what an idiot.
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00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,050
‐ All right.
Kim is on her way to you.
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‐ Oh, yeah, yeah.
100
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,989
‐ Mmm, mmm.
101
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,487
Mmm.
[gasps]
102
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Come to my room.
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‐ You got it.
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‐ Brock, where the fuck
are you going?
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‐ Oh, Kim. Hey, right.
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00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,501
Uh, I‐‐I was just telling
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00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,541
this nice lady that I'm in
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a committed relationship
with you,
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and we're madly in love.
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Nice to meet you, ma'am,
but no thank you.
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‐ Who the [bleep] are you?
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‐ I am the woman
who has just had
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your man's tongue in her mouth.
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‐ What?
What the fuck, Brock?
115
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,215
‐ That actually sounds worse
than it is.
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‐ Okay. It's working.
117
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,415
‐ How about you go home,
Mrs. Havoc?
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Let Brock have a night
with a real woman.
119
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‐ The fuck did you just say?
120
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‐ I said,
I fuck your man right.
121
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‐ Ahh!
‐ Ugh!
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00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,865
‐ You're a dumb bitch.
123
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,039
‐ Oh, shit. Abort, abort.
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00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,038
‐ Ahh!
‐ Augh!
125
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,440
‐ Oh, fuck.
126
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:10,581
‐ All right. Get out of there.
Get out of there now.
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‐ Sorry, Dr. Havoc.
128
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:14,108
I know you did not want me
to hurt your wife,
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00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,554
but I had no choice.
130
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,919
‐ No, I wasn't worried
about her safety.
131
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,088
I was worried about yours.‐
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00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,416
‐ What's that now?
133
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,321
‐ Ahh!
134
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,993
‐ Oh! Ohhh!
135
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,091
‐ Oh, shit.
136
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,004
‐ Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
‐ Ugh! Ugh!
137
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,397
Take that and that.
138
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,870
‐ [groans and coughs]
139
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,239
‐ You're a dumb bitch.
140
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,007
Ahh! Ahh!
141
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,935
‐ Ugh! Oof!
142
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,381
[gagging]
143
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,935
‐ You're gonna die.
144
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,514
‐ Mother Russia!
‐ Ahh!
145
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,023
‐ Tiger punch. Swan punch.
146
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,015
Goose kick. Snake kick.
147
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,017
Quanky punch.
148
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,018
Titty twister.
‐ Ahh!
149
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,091
Ahh!
150
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:59,629
‐ Okay. Hold on.
Just wait a second.
151
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:00,986
Ohh!
152
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,764
‐ Hiyah!
‐ Ugh!
153
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,670
[groans]
154
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,409
‐ Oh, hey, buddy.
155
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:15,605
‐ Wha‐‐what's going on?
Where am I?
156
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,779
‐ You're in my bedroom, buddy.
157
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,607
‐ Well, our bedroom, sweetie.
158
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,653
‐ Right. Right, our bedroom,
mine and Kim's,
159
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,178
your ex‐wife, Kim and me,
this is our bedroom.
160
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,694
‐ What the fuck is going on?
161
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,855
‐ Well, Darren,
after you got knocked out,
162
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,685
the three of us talked it out.
163
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:33,490
‐ Turns out your wife and I
have a lot in common.
164
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,863
‐ Ha‐ha, yeah.
165
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,361
Like my penis.
166
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:39,073
‐ You guys all had sex
together?
167
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,025
While I was in the room?
168
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,744
‐ You were passed out, Darren.
169
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,007
Don't make this weird.
170
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,165
‐ Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I making it weird?
171
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,013
Because I just woke up
and found out
172
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,909
that my wife, my assassin,
173
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,311
and my mortal enemy just had
a three‐way fuck fest
174
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,084
while I was unconscious
just a few feet away.
175
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,453
Now, if you don't mind,
176
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,991
I'm just gonna shoot myself
in the [bleep] face.
177
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,687
Ugh!
178
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,689
‐ Oh, there it is.
179
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,361
[laughter]
180
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,059
‐ He thought it was a gun.
181
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,661
It's just a dildo.
182
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,203
It was a dildo.
183
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,667
[laughs]
184
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:37,957
It is not a gun.
It's a dildo.
12857
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