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2
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:16,808
'but it's been a good home to us,
to me, Frank Gallagher,
3
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,653
'and me kids, who I'm proud of,
4
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:23,494
'cos every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:27,892
'They can all think for themselves,
which they've me to thank for.'
6
00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:29,208
Run for it!
7
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,098
'Fiona, who's a massive help.
8
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:37,095
'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is
why nobody calls him Phillip any more.
9
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:41,810
'lan's like his mam. Handy for the others
cos she's disappeared into thin air.
10
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,573
'Carl - we daren't let him grow his hair
for two reasons.
11
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:48,812
'One, it stands on end and makes him
look like Toyah. Two, nits love him.
12
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:52,051
'Debbie - sent by God, total angel.
13
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:55,769
'Check your change,
but she'll always do you a favour.
14
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,658
'Plus Liam - gonna be a star.
15
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:01,937
'Once we've got the fits under control.
16
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:07,731
'Steve - Fiona's boyfriend.
The truth is out there! Not!
17
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:12,610
'Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica.
Lend you anything... Well, not anything.
18
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,488
'But all of 'em, to a man,
know first and foremost
19
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:19,731
'one of the most vital
necessities in this life
20
00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,778
is they know how to throw a party!
21
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:24,976
'Heh heh heh heh! Scatter!'
22
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:40,654
(Fiona) 'You know when you drop a pen
and know where you dropped it,
23
00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:42,890
'but it's just not there?
24
00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:47,929
'That's how Mum vanished.
Went for a loaf, never seen since.
25
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:53,293
'Dad did a superb job of taking on
the role of both our parents.
26
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:56,133
'Did sod all, twice over!'
27
00:01:56,860 --> 00:01:59,010
(Door opening and closing)
28
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:03,252
'You'd think that two times zero
would be no loss at all,
29
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:06,013
'but I think that old saying's true.
30
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,536
'You don't know what you've got
till it's gone.'
31
00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,936
- Lip, kettle, come on.
- l'll do that.
32
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:20,138
- lt's all right. You sit down.
- (Cheering) Hey-hey, food!
33
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:23,257
- Who's no vinegar?
- (Carl) Me!
34
00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:25,296
Er, fish? Batter?
35
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:27,018
Me!
36
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:30,888
Come on, shift up,
make room for t'little 'un. Oi.
37
00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:34,290
Only if you finish your chips. Come on.
Er, who's this?
38
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:37,816
- Karen.
- Hi, Karen. Nice top. What size are you?
39
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,652
Shhhhh!
40
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,617
Shut up!
41
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:46,012
Billy, have a drink.
42
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,731
Go on, have one!
43
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:57,096
Jez, pint of Dog.
44
00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:59,740
(Football on television)
45
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,129
(Shouting encouragement)
46
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,656
When you're ready.
47
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:12,178
(TV) 'Blair came to power promising
to redress Britain's position on poverty.
48
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,216
'The debates today
49
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:18,259
'could affect the way one in three
of families live for the worse...'
50
00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:20,251
(Cheering)
51
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,850
Let the dog see the rabbit, mate.
52
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,931
''Four kids and half a wage!
53
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:40,979
"What am I supposed to do if they cut
the single parent benefit by 30%?"
54
00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:44,336
- All right, Frank? Are you OK?
- ls that my T-shirt?
55
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:48,895
- Yeah.
- l...l just meant...what happened?
56
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:51,096
- (Screaming)
- Jesus, Frank!
57
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:56,777
A bloke said to pass it on. Wants you to
keep your dick away from his daughter!
58
00:03:56,860 --> 00:04:00,011
- You're pissed, Frank! Don't do this!
-This is pissed?!
59
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,170
- Leave it! Just go!
- Debbie, no!
60
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:07,013
- Get him out of here now!
- You're pathetic!
61
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,614
Reckon you're a big lad now, Steve?
62
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,975
- Just go!
- He's shitting hisself!
63
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:15,769
- You're a total waste of organs!
- I mean it, Steve, get out now!
64
00:04:21,940 --> 00:04:24,932
You should've twatted him back.
65
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:29,457
- If I ever do that, I'll kill him.
- So? Seven years for murder?
66
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:32,896
Get laid as often as you want,
tattoos, everything.
67
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,492
Gay heaven.
68
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:45,729
Oh!
69
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,773
Oh!
70
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,055
(Whistling to himself)
71
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,014
- How's it going, Conrad?
- Not so bad.
72
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:43,093
- Shirley any better?
- Still pissed off about being sectioned.
73
00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:46,013
Once we got me mam in there,
she looked 10 years younger.
74
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,056
- What ward's she on?
- 16.
75
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,450
She'll look about 30 years younger, then.
Zzzzz!
76
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:56,218
(Veronica) Looks sore.
How many stitches?
77
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,416
Seven. Cheese knife.
78
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,456
- Oh, Conrad.
- Oh, l'll live.
79
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:03,259
Not if Shirley ever gets out!
80
00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:07,572
(Conrad laughs) See you later.
81
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:23,456
Cheers, gorgeous.
82
00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:28,974
(Conrad) # I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny tonight
83
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:32,735
♪ I'm horny, horny, horny, horny tonight
84
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:36,335
♪ I'm horny, horny, horny,
horny tonight ♪
85
00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:47,688
''Sampson Pickle turned to his mum
with a tear in his eye and said...
86
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:53,377
(All) '''You don't know what you've got
till it's gone!'''
87
00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:59,856
- Ugh!
- Oh-oh!
88
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:16,775
(Fiona and children) 'You don't know
what you've got till it's gone!
89
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:21,809
'You don't know what you've got
till it's gone!
90
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:26,178
'You don't know
what you've got till it's gone!'
91
00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:30,299
- Evening, campers!
- Hey-hey, how yer doin'? You all right?
92
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:34,976
Not bad.
Bet you hate it when that happens!
93
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:39,611
They're his tits. lt's the only reason
he does eggs. He just licked that one.
94
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:44,296
With a stonking abscess so a bit more
protein than you banked on, Steve!
95
00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:50,655
- Hiya.
- (Kids) Ughhh!
96
00:07:55,620 --> 00:08:00,489
- Sorry about last night.
- Hey, Brooklyn Beckham's the yardstick.
97
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:04,539
Never apologise for your parents.
So you can get rid of this.
98
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:24,689
- Has anyone seen Dad since last night?
- He was asleep behind the settee.
99
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,611
lt's a tent.
100
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,659
Why have we got
a bleedin' tent behind the settee?
101
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:39,335
- Drying it. I'm off camping next week.
- Boom-boom!
102
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,376
l thought it was Dad.
103
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,689
l left him a cup of tea this morning.
104
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:48,056
I thought I heard him say,
"Thanks, Debs."
105
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,496
Hang on tight, hang on tight!
106
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,732
Sorry.
107
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:12,577
- Came in the back way.
- You're not the only one.
108
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:16,016
Kev, was me dad in The Jockey
this afternoon?
109
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,568
This afty? No.
110
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:22,896
- Did he come back to the pub last night?
- Er...
111
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:28,691
(Kev) Footy till nine, pub quiz till ten,
scrapping by half-past...
112
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:32,932
police turned up...and, yeah, Frank
were there, but he was slaughtered.
113
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:34,931
l mean...slaughtered.
114
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,370
Thanks.
115
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:42,976
Go on, Kev! Go on, hang on!
You hang on! We're going to the moon!
116
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,858
Hey, Ted, it's Lip. Seen me dad?
117
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,498
No, since Diana died!
118
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:51,653
Hiya, Wendy, Veronica.
Cleaning services.
119
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:54,573
- ..just worried about him.
- Well, ex-cleaning services.
120
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:59,893
- Eric, it's Lip...
- ..Carol's daughter, Kev's girlfriend.
121
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,336
Bought your Sky box off you
so you could go to Magaluf.
122
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:09,177
Hiya. Did you have any admissions
through casualty? Name of Gallagher.
123
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,491
Black hair, blue eyes, scruffy,
bit mental.
124
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:15,936
Couldn't check the computer for us,
Wendy? Cheers.
125
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,933
(Wendy) 'Hello? Veronica?
126
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,692
'Hello?
127
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:30,532
'Are you there? Veronica?'
128
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:35,172
Wendy? Oh, Wendy, hiya.
129
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:39,253
Oh, you haven't?
Never mind. Thanks, anyway.
130
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:43,370
No? Aw, do you know
if it's a boy or a girl yet?
131
00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:46,099
Oi! What is your problem?!
132
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:50,298
Needing to ring the bookie's 'fore I go
to work! No phone! Mobile vanished!
133
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:54,214
l lent it to Lip so he could ring and see
if anybody knew where Frank was.
134
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,849
- Both my bills being run up next door?!
- Your bills? Hello!
135
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:00,613
- Why don't they get a friggin' phone?
- No friggin' money!
136
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:03,851
- Me neither at this rate, V!
- You tight-arsed gimp!
137
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:06,932
Frank is missing
and you need to see somebody!
138
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,978
Normal blokes fall asleep after sex,
but not Kev!
139
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:15,293
If it makes you this narky, forget it!
Forget sex cos I am sick of this!
140
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,613
Freak!
141
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,817
- Can't file Frank as a missing person.
- Why not?
142
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:24,575
- He's always missing.
- That is what I said.
143
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,572
- What if he's just kipped at a mate's?
- He hasn't.
144
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:32,097
- Who'd give him a bed? He just hasn't.
- We've found him in wheely-bins before.
145
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:36,412
- Never on a Friday.
- What's Friday got to do with it?
146
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,651
Giro day.
l hadn't realised it were a Friday.
147
00:11:42,340 --> 00:11:45,377
Best get the desk sergeant.
What was Frank wearing?
148
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:08,578
Shove it up your arse! No more favours
like filling in fake insurance claims
149
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,651
cos you're too thick to do it!
150
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:13,652
Whoa, Lip, Lip! Wait!
151
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:19,214
Lip, whoa, whoa! Look, look, look,
he can't be far. He's never far.
152
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,370
l know, but it's Friday.
153
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:23,408
Oh, right!
154
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:28,528
Oh, Jesus! Jez, was Frank on his tod
when we turfed him out last night?
155
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:32,579
Name one person who'd be seen dead
with him in that state.
156
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:35,811
Steve had shot off by then
so he definitely wasn't...
157
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:38,778
- Steve?
- Anyone seen Frank since last night?
158
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,170
- Which Steve?
- Steve Steve, Fiona's bloke.
159
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:45,377
- What, in here?
- Yeah, talking to your dad.
160
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:48,816
Pleasant enough.
Well before closing time.
161
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,892
(TV) 'We go to Bury Street
where police have found the body
162
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:57,973
'of an as yet unidentified person
floating in the water.
163
00:12:58,060 --> 00:13:01,814
'lt was discovered at around 1 1 .30am
by a local man...'
164
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,856
ls that Bury Street Bridge?
165
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:06,374
l broke me collarbone
falling down them steps
166
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:09,133
after me very first taste
of another woman's tongue.
167
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:18,817
Ashley's mum...saw...saw...
somebody...in... (Sobbing)
168
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,937
- Again, Debbie.
- Ashley's mum...
169
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:26,298
..saw somebody...in the canal...
this afternoon.
170
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,289
Stupid cow, telling her that!
171
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,133
lt won't be him.
The police would know by now.
172
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:36,372
- I will deck that bleedin' woman!
- I owe her a smack for that curtain rail!
173
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:38,735
Does that even sound like your dad?
174
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:42,779
Why would he walk towards the canal
if he lives in the opposite direction?
175
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:47,172
Depends. How was he looking
when you left him in The Jockey, Steve?
176
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:51,890
- When?
- Er...about nine-ish.
177
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:56,098
l went to apologise for the barney,
bought him a drink, made friends.
178
00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:58,694
- Then I shot off home.
- Why didn't you say?
179
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:03,012
lt was only for half an hour, tops.
How's that helpful?
180
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:07,013
Kev, when I left The Jockey,
was Frank bladdered or not?
181
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:10,217
No. Can I borrow you for a sec?
182
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,571
(lncomprehensible shouting)
183
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:20,654
(News vendor shouting
incomprehensibly)
184
00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:29,932
lt's all right.
185
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:33,130
(Fiona) Oh, Jesus!
186
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:37,170
Oh, no! Oh, no!
187
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,339
(Crowd groaning)
(Man) What's going on?
188
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:47,093
(Man) That's just sick!
189
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:49,136
(Man) Sick bastards!
190
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:54,898
Police PR stunt puts shits up t'public!
Police PR stunt puts shits up t'public!
191
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:59,451
How low can you stoop?
Police PR stunt puts shits up t'public!
192
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:03,499
Police PR stunt puts shits up t'public!
Manchester Mail!
193
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:06,731
(Police cheering) Good one!
194
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:10,380
(Flies buzzing)
195
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,572
(Groaning)
196
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,537
Oh, my 'ead!
197
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:44,938
Hey, have you got the time on yer?
198
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,817
Got the time?
199
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,491
Got the time on yer?
200
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,810
Fine, right, fuck yer!
201
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,980
- (Dog whining)
- (Liquid trickling)
202
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,857
Fuck off!
203
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,417
Maybe l've had a stroke.
204
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:33,294
'Last I remember,
I'm walking up Belvedere Road.
205
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:38,056
'Paddy Keans is going, ''Night, Frank.''
l go, ''Night, Paddy.'''
206
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:42,458
This is beyond me.
How the fuck did you all get here?
207
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:44,496
(Speaks French)
208
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,538
(Frank) I haven't a clue how I got here.
209
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:51,094
What?
210
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:54,699
You're not listening to a word, are you?
211
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,135
l haven't got a passport.
212
00:16:57,220 --> 00:17:00,371
l've never had a passport.
213
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:02,894
l don't want a passport.
214
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,768
- That's a Manchester accent, non?
- Who said that?
215
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:11,012
(Man with French accent)
Cheadle Hulme, five years, mid-'80s.
216
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:16,254
Oh, man, thank you! Tell...
Just tell him, will you? Just tell him!
217
00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:38,615
What is it you need to say first?
218
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:41,610
Me name's Frank Gallagher.
219
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:45,454
l live at 2 Windsor Gardens, Stretford.
220
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:03,810
Look, I'm scared cos I haven't a clue
what happened last night.
221
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,255
I'm pricking meself here, yer know.
222
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:25,254
(Frank) What did he say, mate? What?
Qu'est-ce que sayo, mate?
223
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:29,299
(Frank) Hey! Come on! C'est une mistake!
224
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,814
- No! Frank?
- ln France?
225
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:35,529
l know! Well, Calais, so only just.
226
00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:37,770
(All) How?
227
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:43,457
The embassy says he admitted to drugs
charges even before they accused him.
228
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,896
- They're charging him?
- No. He'll be escorted through t'tunnel.
229
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:51,371
- When will you get him back here?
- We can't unless you shell out for a car.
230
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:56,409
You could get him. We could nip across,
pick up some booze like our Kirsty does.
231
00:18:56,500 --> 00:19:00,015
Could I fuck! Because...
Tone, no offence.
232
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,895
(# Humming the Marseillaise)
233
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:12,179
Car's not insured, tax disk's a photocopy
and the shocks won't get us past Asda.
234
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:15,535
- Right, Tone.
- (Tony continues humming)
235
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,091
l just grabbed a shower.
l was coming back round.
236
00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:45,416
Becks, can you... Cheers.
237
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:57,057
- Who's she?
- She's a tenant.
238
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:01,217
- What's up?
- How did you get my dad to France?
239
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:06,336
You... lt's me? Are you serious? Me?
240
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:12,135
- French health warnings.
- Boot of the car.
241
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,098
- How did you get him in the boot?
- He was off his face.
242
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,934
- He went out with just a tenner!
- I gave him a 20 and a few tabs.
243
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,614
- Why France?
- My sister lives in Folkestone.
244
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:25,852
l was going down to see the new kid.
ldea was to drop him somewhere weird.
245
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:29,137
Then I saw these signs
for the Channel Tunnel.
246
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:34,089
- The idea just kind of...snowballed.
- And that's funny, Steve?
247
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:38,014
- Really funny would've been Bosnia.
- Cos he took a swing at you?
248
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:41,695
He needs a wake-up call
before he wrecks your family's lives!
249
00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,578
Bollocks!
You hadn't the guts to whack him back!
250
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,299
l don't do violence. Ahh!
251
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:52,135
What my dad is and what my family is
has fuck all to do with someone like you!
252
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:56,012
Bastard!
253
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:03,371
- (Microwave pings)
- Sorry, can I just...
254
00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:08,933
lt's just that l've got to be out
in quarter of an hour or so.
255
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:20,975
You took him there, you get him back!
256
00:21:30,780 --> 00:21:33,931
- Get a PlayStation 2.
- I'll see what I can do.
257
00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:38,332
lf they have any CDs for under a fiver,
get us five, but only UK chart.
258
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:42,974
Take his birth certificate
in case they need it for identification.
259
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:49,009
Hey, Steve, tow bar's on,
trailer lights work like magic.
260
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,933
- Get seven cases of lager for my dad.
- No way.
261
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:55,330
The only booze I'm bringing back is ours.
Whose is this?
262
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:58,332
Listen! Oi, oi, shut up, listen!
263
00:21:58,420 --> 00:22:02,971
Police have just found a body
exactly fitting Frank's description.
264
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:07,019
(Screams)
265
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:11,059
- I knew it! I knew it! I dreamt it was Dad!
- Listen...
266
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:14,132
- Has nobody told her?
- We hadn't seen her for hours.
267
00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:18,179
- They found him. Dad's coming home.
- I feel rotten now.
268
00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:22,651
- lt were a joke, sweetheart.
- He's in France. He's OK.
269
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:26,255
Steve and Kev and Veronica
are off to get him.
270
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:30,572
- What's he doing in France?
- We'll have him home for morning.
271
00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:34,733
I'm really sorry we scared you, Debs.
l'm really, really sorry.
272
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:38,335
Joke was, it wasn't a bloke,
it were three bags of rags!
273
00:22:38,420 --> 00:22:41,298
They knew it couldn't be Frank
cos the socks matched!
274
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:46,134
(All talking at once)
275
00:22:59,780 --> 00:23:04,137
No way am I pulling
that fucking monstrosity! Here you are.
276
00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:20,214
- Is this Steve bloke a fixture now?
- Just somebody I met.
277
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:24,657
Right. I'm wondering
where that leaves me, then, Fiona.
278
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:28,817
- You? What?
- Me with you.
279
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:37,456
Tony, we had a great night out.
280
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:39,576
Great mates, great laugh.
281
00:23:39,660 --> 00:23:43,096
Good sex. That's it.
282
00:23:44,060 --> 00:23:49,612
Oh, come on. That's the whole point,
innit? One-night stand. No strings.
283
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,850
You were my first.
284
00:23:54,220 --> 00:23:58,054
- First one-night stand or first...?
- The first.
285
00:23:58,140 --> 00:24:02,816
I only got circumcised when I were 18
so it set me back. Way back.
286
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,494
So if you want to take the piss,
spread that around.
287
00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:07,298
Hey...
288
00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:11,053
if that was your first,
you weren't half bad.
289
00:24:13,340 --> 00:24:14,455
Thanks.
290
00:24:22,820 --> 00:24:26,495
(Kev) Hey up!
No place like home, eh, Frank?
291
00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:31,295
- Good to be back.
- For fuck's sake!
292
00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:42,458
(Crowd talking and laughing outside)
293
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:58,569
- (Knocking at door)
- Are you decent?
294
00:25:59,860 --> 00:26:04,490
l got you this. lt's from France.
l asked Veronica to get it for us.
295
00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:07,413
Don't want nothing French in this house!
296
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:14,088
- There's no hot water.
- What?
297
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,580
(Splashes) Oh, for fuck's sake!
298
00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:22,495
Er, your Giro. And it's Saturday
so t'post office closes at 12.
299
00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:24,935
- ls he still here?
- Steve?
300
00:26:25,020 --> 00:26:29,172
- No, he's nipped home to get changed.
- Tell him not to bother coming back.
301
00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:33,856
- He spent 500 quid bailing you out.
- And why would he do that, eh?
302
00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:39,219
When I woke up in France, in a park,
looking like a fucking dosser,
303
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:41,814
all I could smell was air freshener.
304
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,892
Middle of the park - orange air freshener!
305
00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:50,577
l've just spent five hours in his car.
Same fucking smell!
306
00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:54,490
He did this!
307
00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:10,014
l wish you'd taken a camera,
with you in the pictures.
308
00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:13,809
Total shithole.
Hey, definition of French foreplay!
309
00:27:18,980 --> 00:27:21,619
- Bet you're the only one that missed me.
- No.
310
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,851
Cos Carl said, ''The gas has gone.
Where's the pliers?''
311
00:27:24,940 --> 00:27:28,899
And Lip said, ''Dad's the only one
who knows how to do the meter.''
312
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:33,609
- Did you see Paris?
- Yeah.
313
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:36,214
The Eiffel Tower?
314
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:42,569
Christ, yeah! But, you know, you can see
right across France from the top.
315
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:47,136
Yeah, but I didn't stay up too long.
316
00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:49,609
Don't know what French birds are into,
317
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:54,455
but they're looking at me like,
"Hey, I am 'aving zis guy."
318
00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:58,533
It got a bit unnerving
so I legged it back down.
319
00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:03,852
Bits of France are gorgeous,
but you just gotta know your way about.
320
00:28:03,940 --> 00:28:07,091
- Do you now?
- Every inch.
321
00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:12,414
Hey, I have to cash my Giro.
Do us a brew for when I get back.
322
00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:18,490
Look, he can't know.
323
00:28:18,580 --> 00:28:23,529
He does. And even if he doesn't,
he thinks you did it so it makes no odds.
324
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:25,576
But I gave him three Zopiclone.
325
00:28:25,660 --> 00:28:30,336
Mum...said don't use more than two or
you won't know your name for a week!
326
00:28:30,420 --> 00:28:33,093
- Your mum was in on this?
- Well, yeah...
327
00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:36,331
No. She prescribed the Zopiclone
for me.
328
00:28:37,380 --> 00:28:39,450
- She's a doctor?
- Yeah.
329
00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:45,048
Mum, Dad, brother, sister. We're
the medical equivalent of a battery farm.
330
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:49,691
Me included, if I hadn't run a mile.
I quit medical school two years in.
331
00:28:49,780 --> 00:28:53,329
l am that DlY plane from Chicken Run.
332
00:28:53,420 --> 00:28:56,696
- You walked away from that?
- Sprinted away!
333
00:28:56,780 --> 00:29:01,137
ln the vain hope of finding a personality
that wasn't a carbon copy of my father's.
334
00:29:01,220 --> 00:29:04,132
So you nick cars for a living.
335
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:06,176
I do what I chose to do.
336
00:29:07,260 --> 00:29:09,649
And my dad's the waste of organs!
337
00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:16,212
Hang on! Look, l've apologised. l've done
what you asked. l've put things right.
338
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:21,249
Given your choices, it's rich that you
don't like other people living with theirs!
339
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,218
- (Crash)
- Ahhhh!
340
00:29:40,580 --> 00:29:44,573
- Couple of days till I find a flat!
- I promised the wife never again!
341
00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:48,369
- We had to burn that mattress!
- Oh, come on, Paddy, we're mates!
342
00:29:48,460 --> 00:29:52,214
- l'll kip on the floor!
- Definitely not! We've carpets now!
343
00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:04,016
- Are you off?
- lf you lot wanna take the piss, carry on!
344
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:06,409
- Carry on without me!
- Nobody is.
345
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,776
- I don't like the way I'm being talked to.
- About what?
346
00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:13,614
"When can I have this, Dad?"
All six of you! Yack-yack-fucking-yack!
347
00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:16,931
I'm a single parent!
You wouldn't be here without me!
348
00:30:17,020 --> 00:30:20,012
Surround-sound bitching's
all the thanks I get!
349
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:24,571
Life's hard, we know that.
Money's hard. I can only stretch it so far.
350
00:30:24,660 --> 00:30:27,618
- Know how much we spend a week?
- The lot!
351
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:31,056
45 quid. Fiona pays 25,
me and lan go a tenner each.
352
00:30:31,140 --> 00:30:34,496
- Plus gas, plus electric, rent!
- All covered in your Giro.
353
00:30:34,580 --> 00:30:36,935
- Yeah, right.
- 127 a week.
354
00:30:37,020 --> 00:30:38,976
Goes nowhere. You haven't a clue.
355
00:30:39,060 --> 00:30:41,620
Know how much you spend
in The Jockey?
356
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:45,249
- Hey, none of your business.
- Roughly 80.
357
00:30:45,340 --> 00:30:48,889
Oh, that's my mate Kev giving it that
behind me back!
358
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,734
Well, he's pissed on his own chips!
l'll boycott The Jockey!
359
00:30:52,820 --> 00:30:55,778
- And go where?
- The Crown.
360
00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:58,010
- Barred.
- Elmo's Head.
361
00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:00,455
lt got torched a fortnight back.
362
00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:06,612
l don't need Kev to tell me.
l check your wallet every night.
363
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,452
Go on!
364
00:31:10,740 --> 00:31:13,174
Ah, Frank.
365
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:16,093
French Frank,
they're calling you on the radio!
366
00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:18,614
Like an eclipse,
Britain went dark without you.
367
00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:22,852
- I'm stuck for a bed, George.
- Oh, come in, the man! Fill in the gaps.
368
00:31:23,660 --> 00:31:26,015
- ls the lad with you?
- He's going home!
369
00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:27,613
(Mouths)
370
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:38,294
(Sound of Frank being beaten up)
371
00:31:47,780 --> 00:31:50,453
You forgotten you owe him money?
372
00:31:50,540 --> 00:31:53,498
Everybody thinks
l owe 'em fucking money!
373
00:31:55,700 --> 00:31:57,656
He thinks you flogged his telly.
374
00:31:57,740 --> 00:32:01,289
l've been nothing but a friend
to that thick lrish dick!
375
00:32:01,380 --> 00:32:04,816
- I know who you sold it to.
- I won't say it twice. Go home!
376
00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:07,255
- What?
- I won't say it twice!
377
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:11,173
All right, so people are laughing at you.
378
00:32:11,260 --> 00:32:14,616
They only thought France was a laugh
once they knew you were safe.
379
00:32:14,700 --> 00:32:18,409
The T-shirt I want is "Mug".
I didn't fuck off like your mam did.
380
00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:21,856
I could've shot off
and let the council sort you out. I didn't!
381
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:28,095
And pubs weren't... Ask anyone.
Odd pint. Three pints, l'd be on the floor.
382
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,774
Brandy made me puke,
whisky gave me a 'eadache.
383
00:32:30,860 --> 00:32:36,014
And they all took the piss then cos
l couldn't knock it back. You can't win!
384
00:32:36,100 --> 00:32:39,251
Your mum fucks off,
you're all looking at me!
385
00:32:39,340 --> 00:32:42,776
Six kids! Six to keep on top of!
386
00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:47,409
You've never had to do stuff before!
Fucking massive!
387
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:50,458
And clothes for school! Massive!
388
00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:53,179
Having to pick it up as you go along!
Massive!
389
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:57,253
And me dad's sending her money
cos he's ''always had a soft spot for her''
390
00:32:57,340 --> 00:32:59,296
so now he's saying it's my fault.
391
00:32:59,380 --> 00:33:02,850
Proving it by giving me... What?
392
00:33:02,940 --> 00:33:06,171
Fuck all! He wouldn't even baby-sit!
393
00:33:06,260 --> 00:33:11,334
One long 'eadache cos people
are looking at me like I'm fucking up!
394
00:33:12,580 --> 00:33:14,332
Which I am!
395
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:18,208
lf you can't do right for doing wrong...
what is the point?
396
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:22,418
Get a few pints down yer, you know,
getting a round in, getting another.
397
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:26,652
Nobody's buying you one back, never
will. You've shelled out for hundreds!
398
00:33:26,740 --> 00:33:29,413
Not one back!
399
00:33:31,020 --> 00:33:35,696
But, while you're getting 'em in,
you're havin' a laugh.
400
00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:39,295
l mean, that's all you need, innit?
401
00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:45,536
You know, people laughing,
people talking.
402
00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:49,056
Anything so long as
it's not sounding like six fucking kids
403
00:33:49,140 --> 00:33:51,574
you never wanted in the first place!
404
00:33:51,660 --> 00:33:55,096
Fuck the lot of them!
Get used to the 'eadaches!
405
00:33:58,060 --> 00:34:01,370
(Cheering and applause)
406
00:34:01,460 --> 00:34:03,337
(# Piano: the Marseillaise)
407
00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:05,888
(Shouting and cheering)
408
00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:11,379
Ooh, qu'est-ce que vous voulez,
Mon-suwer?
409
00:34:11,460 --> 00:34:14,133
Pint of bitter and a couple of these.
410
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:19,254
Oh, twisted Jesus! Kill me!
411
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:29,298
l don't know you, but it occurred to me
that me and you are the victims here.
412
00:34:29,380 --> 00:34:32,053
Two hard-working, God-fearing men...
413
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:37,734
who raised children in a straight line
with discipline
414
00:34:37,820 --> 00:34:39,776
and God's good guidance!
415
00:34:40,820 --> 00:34:45,814
Our Karen were only 12 when I heard her
using the C word... and on a Sunday!
416
00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:47,333
Fuck!
417
00:34:48,780 --> 00:34:50,133
F.
418
00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:55,248
How did l, a man who said 16 years ago,
''l wanna work for God in Africa...''
419
00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:57,217
Big place, big work!
420
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:03,012
How did I end up with a woman
whose only pleasures are sex,
421
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:08,970
TV cookery, and drawing maximum
benefit from the cash-strapped state?
422
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:12,336
Hundreds a week she gets.
Hundreds! For what?
423
00:35:13,980 --> 00:35:15,936
Being agoraphobic.
424
00:35:16,660 --> 00:35:21,415
l dunno where Sheila's dignity's gone
or whether she ever had any.
425
00:35:23,140 --> 00:35:26,098
Or whether I just kidded meself all along.
426
00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:32,454
Her world's about this big and the less
she does, the more they pay her!
427
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:36,492
Well, l've done it now. l've left her.
428
00:35:36,580 --> 00:35:40,539
But I refuse to be sorry because...
because...
429
00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:48,370
lt's like...
430
00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:50,849
lt's like cruel to be kind.
431
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:57,818
lf you're from the church, you've had it.
432
00:35:57,900 --> 00:36:02,178
No...er...they're for you...Sheila.
433
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:06,139
- You know, by way of an apology.
- Apology? For what?
434
00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:10,855
Er...well, not apology, just...
435
00:36:12,740 --> 00:36:14,890
I'm Frank.
436
00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:18,017
lan's dad...Lip's dad.
437
00:36:19,060 --> 00:36:22,018
- Oh, the twins.
- No.
438
00:36:23,060 --> 00:36:28,373
No, I just... I heard about your bit of
bother. You know, Eddie and all that.
439
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:34,050
Well, it's just to say that...
not everybody thinks it's hilarious.
440
00:36:35,180 --> 00:36:39,537
- You take no notice.
- That's very neighbourly of you.
441
00:36:41,260 --> 00:36:44,138
Come in...Frank.
442
00:36:48,260 --> 00:36:50,216
You have to take your shoes off!
443
00:36:53,300 --> 00:36:55,973
You've got a belting house, Sheila.
444
00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:59,216
Feels big without him.
445
00:37:00,540 --> 00:37:05,330
Well, you wanna come round ours.
Can't shift the kids, six of 'em!
446
00:37:06,820 --> 00:37:08,776
That must be nice.
447
00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:14,018
Yeah, well, it's great when they're little,
but they're all growing up now.
448
00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:17,932
l mean, you miss that company,
don't you,
449
00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:23,777
when they're all off out all the time
and you're in the house on your own?
450
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:29,778
Well, no, I mean,
I love... time to meself, you know,
451
00:37:29,860 --> 00:37:33,978
but...l mean, they're are limits.
452
00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:39,335
- Hey!
- No.
453
00:37:39,420 --> 00:37:44,050
Come on, Frank,
you're preaching to the converted here.
454
00:37:45,780 --> 00:37:48,738
l've not been out of the house
in five years.
455
00:37:48,820 --> 00:37:51,539
- Five years?
- I can't.
456
00:37:51,620 --> 00:37:53,815
l've got an overwhelming fear of...
457
00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:56,732
Ooh, God!
458
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,696
l've got agoraph... Oh!
459
00:38:00,780 --> 00:38:06,935
I'm sorry, I know l'm daft about shoes,
but your feet stink to high heaven!
460
00:38:07,020 --> 00:38:11,969
Oh, God, Sheila, sorry!
l'll bugger off out of your way. Sorry!
461
00:38:12,060 --> 00:38:16,099
You see, again, by the time you get
to the bathroom, hot water gone!
462
00:38:16,180 --> 00:38:19,934
I tried running a bath when I got back
from France, hot water gone.
463
00:38:20,020 --> 00:38:23,092
lt's always muggins
having to boil kettles!
464
00:38:23,940 --> 00:38:26,898
- We've hot water.
- Hey, congratu-fucking-lations!
465
00:38:26,980 --> 00:38:30,017
No. ln case you wanted a bath.
466
00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:34,050
Here?
467
00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:35,653
Where in France?
468
00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:50,534
Frank? Frank?
469
00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:55,136
There are clothes out here. Stuck yours
in the wash so I hope they fit.
470
00:38:58,260 --> 00:39:01,809
- Sorry, Sheila, I nodded off.
- You must be exhausted.
471
00:39:01,900 --> 00:39:05,575
- Won't Eddie miss 'em?
- Not unless he sheds four stone.
472
00:39:05,660 --> 00:39:08,538
Found Christ, then barrelled.
473
00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:14,013
- You're quite lean, aren't you?
- I can go for three days without food.
474
00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:16,330
Suits you.
475
00:39:18,060 --> 00:39:21,018
Anyway, they're yours if you want them.
476
00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:28,135
Oh, Jesus!
477
00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:33,533
It's...erm...
something I haven't seen for a long time.
478
00:39:36,260 --> 00:39:38,296
Eddie's only just left, hasn't he?
479
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:46,012
l've never seen Eddie's.
Always had to be pitch black for Eddie.
480
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:49,058
l saw an outline once
during a thunderstorm.
481
00:39:49,140 --> 00:39:51,290
Like a pair of rolled-up socks.
482
00:39:53,060 --> 00:39:56,814
So you must be over the moon
with a chap like this.
483
00:39:58,340 --> 00:40:00,979
Hark at her! Desperate Daisy!
484
00:40:01,060 --> 00:40:05,850
Hey, if desperate's a crime,
I'm a lifer, Sheila.
485
00:40:08,260 --> 00:40:10,535
Give it a feel if you're tempted.
486
00:40:10,620 --> 00:40:13,373
No! No, l'll embarrass myself.
487
00:40:13,460 --> 00:40:16,099
Nobody here complaining.
488
00:40:25,620 --> 00:40:28,896
lt's OK, sweetheart, take your time.
489
00:40:36,340 --> 00:40:40,299
- Not looking after each other at all!
- lt's a bit tight, that, Sheila.
490
00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:44,089
Oh, fuck! No, hang on, Sheila,
cos I can't see a thing here!
491
00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:01,529
If I'm embarrassing myself...
I'm doing it right.
492
00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:05,372
Oh...yeah.
493
00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:11,058
So tell... Oh, that is tight!
494
00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:14,293
No... Ow!
495
00:41:16,860 --> 00:41:19,852
Paper said Sagittarius
was in for a quiet week.
496
00:41:23,380 --> 00:41:27,771
So just tell us... No, no! Way too tight!
497
00:41:35,740 --> 00:41:39,289
l...l changed me mind. Sheila...
498
00:41:40,980 --> 00:41:42,936
Just a jump, that's all.
499
00:41:44,380 --> 00:41:46,940
I'm getting a panic attack here.
500
00:41:47,020 --> 00:41:50,251
No! No...no.
501
00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:53,298
Honest to God,
I'm struggling to breathe here.
502
00:41:53,380 --> 00:41:56,292
The more you beg...
the more you're in for.
503
00:41:57,460 --> 00:42:01,738
- Relax, Frank. I said... relax!
- (Whip cracking)
504
00:42:02,260 --> 00:42:04,216
Not that much.
505
00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:08,776
What's...
506
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:12,614
- lt's fucking vanished!
- Give it time.
507
00:42:13,780 --> 00:42:15,532
We've plenty.
508
00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:22,532
- Yeah.
- See?
509
00:42:23,740 --> 00:42:27,096
- You'll smile for me.
- Yeah, OK.
510
00:42:27,180 --> 00:42:28,932
Yeah...OK.
511
00:42:33,620 --> 00:42:35,576
lt's been over a year.
512
00:42:36,860 --> 00:42:40,455
If that's not a smile, I don't know what is.
513
00:42:40,540 --> 00:42:43,054
Yeah...yeah...
514
00:42:46,380 --> 00:42:49,736
And if he smiles...they all smile.
515
00:43:06,020 --> 00:43:07,976
Sit yourself down.
516
00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:16,051
- When did this get done?
- Stuck the chops on at about seven.
517
00:43:16,140 --> 00:43:19,132
Snuck back about ten to peel the spuds.
518
00:43:19,220 --> 00:43:21,654
What time is it?
519
00:43:21,740 --> 00:43:24,254
For fuck's sake, what did you slip us?
520
00:43:24,340 --> 00:43:28,891
Just natural tiredness, Frank.
lt's probably jet lag.
521
00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:32,977
You went to sleep...just staring.
522
00:43:36,060 --> 00:43:40,019
Look at the good it's done you.
You look like you've got blusher on!
523
00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:52,573
(Television theme tune playing)
524
00:43:58,060 --> 00:44:00,255
(Mobile phone ringing)
525
00:44:02,820 --> 00:44:05,129
(Mobile phone ringing)
526
00:44:05,980 --> 00:44:10,098
- (Both) I haven't got one.
- (Liam) I've got one.
527
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:14,859
- Are you contract or pay-as-you-go?
- (Phone ringing)
528
00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:20,375
Hello?
529
00:44:37,860 --> 00:44:42,615
I'm the only child my father's scared of
because I'm the total opposite
530
00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:45,055
because I wanted to be.
531
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:51,855
You're... You're kind of...
532
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:55,613
You're kind of me in a skirt.
533
00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:59,773
l don't honestly believe
we could get this lucky twice.
534
00:45:00,900 --> 00:45:04,779
Anyway...skirt or no skirt...
535
00:45:07,580 --> 00:45:09,730
these are for you.
536
00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:38,930
(Fiona) 'Reactions to the loss were
mixed. Debbie missed him like mad
537
00:45:39,020 --> 00:45:43,571
'till she realised he was only a walk away
and Sheila was lovely.'
538
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:47,448
Right... Go on, go on, now!
Go on, now! Deb, get out the way!
539
00:45:47,540 --> 00:45:51,249
'Dad would need skivvies
wherever he ended up.
540
00:45:51,340 --> 00:45:56,289
'He was in parasite heaven, returning
only on Fridays eight to eight-thirty,
541
00:45:56,380 --> 00:46:01,215
'bringing new-found parenting skills
back to the homestead.
542
00:46:02,860 --> 00:46:06,011
'Every time it looked like this family
was falling apart,
543
00:46:06,100 --> 00:46:09,695
'next time you looked,
we'd doubled the numbers.
544
00:46:09,780 --> 00:46:13,739
'Sheila's wasn't Sheila's any more,
it was where Dad lived.
545
00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:19,975
'lt was his house - Dad and Sheila's.
Part of the Gallagher colony.
546
00:46:20,060 --> 00:46:23,609
'We'd always be welcome
so long as money wasn't an issue,
547
00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:28,854
'which seemed fair enough...cos we got
more floor space to ourselves.'
548
00:46:44,660 --> 00:46:47,857
Near the top, Deb. Bit of bird shit.
549
00:46:49,220 --> 00:46:51,176
There, on the right.
550
00:46:52,460 --> 00:46:54,815
More...up... More on the right.
551
00:46:55,460 --> 00:46:57,610
Hey, watch the ladder.
552
00:46:57,700 --> 00:47:00,260
lf you can't be good, start saving!
553
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:02,816
(Frank laughing)
554
00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:16,256
Me and Kev are getting married!
555
00:47:18,260 --> 00:47:21,570
We'll still be married,
it just won't be legal!
556
00:47:21,660 --> 00:47:24,538
- (Laughter)
- He's a maniac! He came at me!
557
00:47:24,620 --> 00:47:28,533
- He'll burn down the bleeding house!
- How long's it take to get a divorce?
558
00:48:07,340 --> 00:48:10,298
'You may remember,
we showed you these -
559
00:48:10,380 --> 00:48:13,929
'the Kuffs 'O Luv, £6.99 and a bargain.
560
00:48:14,940 --> 00:48:17,613
'The Kuffs were manufactured
in Stoke-on-Trent,
561
00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:23,013
'but the faulty locking mechanism
was illegally imported from North Korea
562
00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:26,536
'without this channel's knowledge
or approval.'
46868
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