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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
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00:00:32,481 --> 00:00:39,316
Your attention, please. Flight 217
from Venice, Italy, now arriving at Gate 34.
3
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:43,320
Please claim all baggage
at carousel number two...
4
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,109
Hot! Hot!
5
00:01:48,058 --> 00:01:49,717
I'll be by tomorrow for my stuff.
6
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:53,758
Oh. Call first, cos I might be
having sex with a complete stranger!
7
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:01,067
45 minutes for a cab.
This is ridiculous.
8
00:02:01,153 --> 00:02:02,648
Cheese and rice!
9
00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:07,608
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!
10
00:02:07,702 --> 00:02:12,494
Boy, you got it in there, didn't you, honey?
Thank you so much!
11
00:02:16,127 --> 00:02:18,914
I need a ride.
12
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,080
Get out of my way.
13
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:36,766
Ooh!
14
00:02:39,066 --> 00:02:40,941
Get in!
15
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:55,244
Try and keep it on the road for a change.
16
00:03:08,429 --> 00:03:12,343
- Can't you get it any closer?
- I don't wanna scratch the paint.
17
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,566
What do you do here, Tom Leezak?
18
00:03:24,654 --> 00:03:25,934
Just open the gate, Yuan.
19
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:28,901
You and Tom not together any more.
20
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:31,742
- Just open the gate, Yuan!
- OK.
21
00:03:51,304 --> 00:03:52,965
That one looks heavy.
22
00:03:56,894 --> 00:03:59,267
Get that junk wagon out of here.
23
00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:01,228
Right away, princess!
24
00:04:14,745 --> 00:04:17,034
Not one word.
25
00:04:18,999 --> 00:04:22,867
- Are Mom and Dad home?
- No, they're at the Emphysema Ball.
26
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:26,746
Don't worry, Peewee.
We'll get this Tom mess cleaned up.
27
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,548
Sarah...
28
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,771
Kyle...
29
00:04:52,616 --> 00:04:54,360
Kyle.
30
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,742
Kyle.
31
00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:05,366
OK, I'm home, so you can
leave whenever you want.
32
00:05:24,482 --> 00:05:27,436
Hi! This is Tom and Sarah.
We can't come to the phone right now.
33
00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:30,064
because we're honeymooning in Europe!
34
00:05:30,154 --> 00:05:34,780
Send a large wedding gift,
or we won't call you back. I'm serious.
35
00:05:36,243 --> 00:05:39,528
Tom, Kyle. I got your message.
I'm sorry the honeymoon sucked.
36
00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:44,864
Anyway, don't wig. I set up lodging in your place.
And when you get back, we'll do some Budweiser therapy.
37
00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:49,503
Hi, Sarah, it's Peter.
I thought I might catch you in.
38
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:53,290
Tom, if you're listening, buddy,
I feel your pain.
39
00:06:01,185 --> 00:06:06,013
- So where you been, man? You're on in five.
- I walked over. I had to clear my head.
40
00:06:06,106 --> 00:06:08,064
So? What happened?
41
00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:12,277
Well, I had the perfect relationship
that was ruined by marriage.
42
00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:16,360
Have you saw it, right? We were perfect
from the minute we met. Right?
43
00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:20,530
Yeah. In fact, it was nauseating.
44
00:06:21,288 --> 00:06:22,912
Thank you, Fred.
45
00:06:27,878 --> 00:06:31,329
Blue 28! Blue 28!
46
00:06:31,423 --> 00:06:34,341
Set! Hut!
47
00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:37,636
I'm open! I'm open!
48
00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:42,140
Football!
49
00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:45,842
Oh...
50
00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:48,094
Sorry!
51
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:51,109
Are you OK?
52
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:54,111
Yeah. You had nothin' on it.
53
00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:03,538
Cheers, Sarah McNerney.
54
00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:06,244
Cheers, Tom Leezak.
55
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:12,207
So, what do you do
when you're not Joe Montana?
56
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,297
I work at KNR Radio,
57
00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:18,550
your traffic information station.
58
00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:21,967
So I have myself a real live radio host then?
59
00:07:22,057 --> 00:07:26,220
No. Someday I'll be that guy.
Sports, hopefully.
60
00:07:26,311 --> 00:07:29,063
Right now, I just do spot traffic reports.
61
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:32,683
On the graveyard shift. Every other week.
62
00:07:32,777 --> 00:07:35,812
When the full-time guy's sick.
63
00:07:35,904 --> 00:07:39,070
- You're that Tom.
- Yeah. You actually heard me on the air?
64
00:07:39,157 --> 00:07:42,361
Yeah, I called in about a week ago.
Like, 3 am.
65
00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:45,619
You said the Pasadena freeway
was all clear, so I took it,
66
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:51,957
and got stuck behind a jackknifed big rig
for, like, three hours. Yeah.
67
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:54,169
Sarah from Beverly Hills.
68
00:07:55,089 --> 00:07:57,960
Who called me a... fathead.
69
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,966
We got pretty heated.
70
00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:02,549
Very heated.
71
00:08:05,143 --> 00:08:08,262
So, 3 am? That's actually past your bedtime, is it?
72
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:13,182
How do you know my bedtime? I was wrapping out
an auction. I'm a gofer at Sotheby's.
73
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:17,984
Beverly Hills, Sotheby's let me guess marketing major,
Stanford. Smartypants in the front row.
74
00:08:18,071 --> 00:08:21,903
- Art history major, Wellesley, back row.
- Oh, back row.
75
00:08:21,991 --> 00:08:25,610
Sweet! Me too. Communications,
Burbank Community College.
76
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,992
- Wanna hear the fight song?
- No, thank you.
77
00:08:28,081 --> 00:08:30,453
- Are you sure? I'm really good at it.
- No, really. Thanks.
78
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,617
That's a good choice.
79
00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:35,870
McNerney.
80
00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:40,425
You're not, by any chance,
the daughter of Dan McNerney,
81
00:08:40,511 --> 00:08:44,674
part-owner-of-the-Lakers-and-Dodgers
McNerney?
82
00:08:45,682 --> 00:08:47,509
I'll take that as a yes.
83
00:08:48,101 --> 00:08:50,592
Ready to get your ass
kicked at eight-ball Leezak?
84
00:08:50,687 --> 00:08:54,387
Oh-ho-ho-ho. You are dreaming, Wellesley.
85
00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:56,440
I went to day care in a pool hall.
86
00:08:56,526 --> 00:08:59,361
Oh. Pretty confident there, huh, fathead?
87
00:09:07,037 --> 00:09:09,610
Bags, shh. Bags, shh!
88
00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:50,201
- Wow.
- Yeah.
89
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:56,457
And that was it.
A month later, we moved in together.
90
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:02,629
Why the hell did we get married when we had loving
each other so completely nailed?
91
00:10:02,717 --> 00:10:04,709
I don't know. Ten seconds.
92
00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:06,428
Why does anyone get married?
93
00:10:06,512 --> 00:10:12,017
I mean, does it make sense to be
with one person for your entire life?
94
00:10:13,144 --> 00:10:15,897
People change. They grow.
95
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:17,061
You're on, Tom.
96
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:22,193
Maybe we'd still be together if I'd
gotten the proposal right, but, nope,
97
00:10:22,279 --> 00:10:24,852
the proposal is critical, and I blew it.
98
00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:26,608
Tom!
99
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:36,914
This is Tom Leezak
with KNR traffic at 2.06 am.
100
00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:42,458
At this hour, there are approximately
seven vehicles on all Southland freeways,
101
00:10:42,549 --> 00:10:47,376
so if you feel like skateboarding
down the 405, she's wide-open.
102
00:10:47,470 --> 00:10:51,005
Stay tuned for another
traffic update in ten minutes
103
00:10:51,099 --> 00:10:56,473
on KNR, your traffic information station.
104
00:10:57,522 --> 00:11:01,353
And we're out. Look here, Tom.
You gotta focus, all right, man?
105
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:05,769
Forget about proposals.
Forget about marriage. All right?
106
00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:14,455
Bags...
107
00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:22,126
Do you have to grunt all the time?
You're just like a little pig with hair.
108
00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:27,256
Look at me.
I'm the cutest doggy in the world.
109
00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:32,681
I'm the cutest doggy in the world. Throw
the ball for me. I'll pull on your leg all day.
110
00:11:32,765 --> 00:11:35,434
Bags, seriously, I will...
111
00:11:35,518 --> 00:11:37,179
Bags, I'm reading.
112
00:11:41,232 --> 00:11:42,775
Fetch.
113
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,986
It wasn't like Bags to chase pigeons.
114
00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:01,746
This pigeon was cruel. It was...
115
00:12:03,546 --> 00:12:07,875
Bags, he just... he just went for him.
116
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,085
He was taunting.
117
00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:16,256
And... squawking.
118
00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:19,102
Squawking?
119
00:12:19,187 --> 00:12:21,643
Squawking.
120
00:12:21,731 --> 00:12:25,148
I mean, at first, it was
more of a... more of a purring.
121
00:12:26,361 --> 00:12:29,565
You know how they...
I mean, Bags... It got his attention.
122
00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:32,194
He has a low tolerance for annoyances.
123
00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:35,533
But then it turned into this, like, shrill...
124
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:50,167
You're Iying.
125
00:12:51,177 --> 00:12:54,842
- What?
- Your nostrils always flare when you lie.
126
00:12:54,931 --> 00:12:57,173
Flare! Flare!
127
00:12:57,267 --> 00:13:01,051
They're not flaring. I'm not Iying.
128
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:10,106
Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm just really overwhelmed.
129
00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:14,608
Promise we'll never lie to each other.
130
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:19,533
It's a promise.
131
00:13:26,004 --> 00:13:28,542
I love you so much.
132
00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,796
Listen, Sarah...
133
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:40,302
I wanna marry you, Tom Leezak.
134
00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:45,268
I wanna marry you, too.
135
00:13:56,784 --> 00:14:00,949
Why do you bring Dodge to front?
ParK at service entrance!
136
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:03,660
- Open the gate, Yuan.
- OK.
137
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,668
Here we go!
138
00:14:06,752 --> 00:14:08,829
Whoo!
139
00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:22,601
Well, well, well...
140
00:14:24,729 --> 00:14:27,137
What a surprise.
141
00:14:35,615 --> 00:14:39,565
- Welcome to the family, Tom.
- Thank you, Mrs McNerney.
142
00:14:39,953 --> 00:14:41,992
Oh, you can call me Pussy now.
143
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,613
Thank you... Pussy.
144
00:14:45,708 --> 00:14:49,836
Well, wonderful. Wonderful!
145
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,494
Yuan, champagne for everybody!
146
00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:56,132
Knock it off, Dickie!
147
00:14:57,428 --> 00:15:02,174
Peewee. My youngest daughter.
148
00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:04,639
You little rebel.
149
00:15:05,728 --> 00:15:08,895
And you, Tom Leezak. You're...
150
00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:12,567
Well, wonderful surprise.
151
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,603
Thank you, Mr McNerney.
152
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,397
I... I just hope that I can...
153
00:15:19,491 --> 00:15:23,739
be just all that I can be...
154
00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:28,582
in this family.
155
00:15:35,091 --> 00:15:38,424
Well, I love Sarah.
156
00:15:38,511 --> 00:15:40,338
That's all I need to know.
157
00:15:42,265 --> 00:15:45,468
You really missed the boat,
didn't you, Prentiss?
158
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,675
Yes, I did, Dan.
159
00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:49,176
You bet your ass you did.
160
00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:53,933
I should've been courting Sarah instead
of putting in 19-hour days at the office.
161
00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:57,893
Anyway, congratulations. To both of you.
162
00:15:57,988 --> 00:16:00,396
Seriously, from my heart.
163
00:16:00,491 --> 00:16:02,567
Thank you, Peter.
164
00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:06,868
- You're a lucky man.
- Hey, I know that.
165
00:16:06,956 --> 00:16:09,031
Grab a flute of bubbly and rise.
166
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:13,828
Everybody ready?
167
00:16:14,213 --> 00:16:18,081
- Why is Peter Prentiss here?
- Dad's doing business with him.
168
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:21,544
All right. Health, wealth, happiness.
169
00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:24,211
Health, wealth, happiness.
170
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:28,724
All right, Peewee. Ten-yard out.
171
00:16:28,811 --> 00:16:34,398
Leezak, give me a five-yard slant.
You got this, man. Don't worry about it.
172
00:16:34,483 --> 00:16:36,641
- Calm down.
- What do you mean, calm down?
173
00:16:36,735 --> 00:16:41,694
Why do bad things happen to good people,
Father? Where's that in your book?
174
00:16:41,782 --> 00:16:44,108
- She's very determined.
- Not even Catholic!
175
00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:48,116
- He's a Polack! No, he's a Polack.
- I know, and I warned you...
176
00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:50,531
Let's see what Leezak's packing.
177
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:53,293
Ready? All right. And break!
178
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:55,953
- On one. Ready?
- Break!
179
00:16:59,842 --> 00:17:02,463
You girls ready for this?
180
00:17:04,096 --> 00:17:05,342
Down!
181
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,631
Set!
182
00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:12,307
Ooh!
183
00:17:13,939 --> 00:17:15,647
That was a hard one.
that was a dumber.
184
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,440
- Yeah!
- That's what I'm talkin' about!
185
00:17:18,528 --> 00:17:20,687
- What are you doing, Willie?
- I slipped.
186
00:17:22,573 --> 00:17:26,321
I still got my flag. I'm good. I'm good.
187
00:17:27,703 --> 00:17:30,870
Oh, my Peewee. Always moving so fast.
188
00:17:30,956 --> 00:17:35,998
You move in together after a month,
live together for nine months, and...
189
00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:38,659
now you're engaged.
190
00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:41,426
Oh, I know you love him, but, you know,
191
00:17:41,508 --> 00:17:46,467
sometimes it takes more than love
to sustain a marriage.
192
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,678
You need to be old enough
to know who you are
193
00:17:50,768 --> 00:17:52,891
and what you want and who he is.
194
00:17:52,979 --> 00:17:56,513
Oh, Mom, he's wild and spontaneous
195
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,145
and hysterical and offbeat,
196
00:17:59,235 --> 00:18:03,102
and on top of all that,
he's centred, and he's down-to-earth.
197
00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:07,610
He's everything I want. And we have
this passion for each other that's...
198
00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:09,575
Oh!
199
00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:14,163
I'm jealous.
200
00:18:16,085 --> 00:18:19,336
All right. First thing tomorrow...
201
00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:24,248
we're gonna plan this wedding!
202
00:18:48,826 --> 00:18:50,071
Hey, you.
203
00:19:05,217 --> 00:19:08,503
So I guess everyone thinks
we're crazy for doing this.
204
00:19:08,595 --> 00:19:12,131
Now when did we start caring
about what other people think?
205
00:19:14,016 --> 00:19:19,687
Well, are you sure that you don't
wanna marry a guy like Peter?
206
00:19:21,024 --> 00:19:26,731
If I wanted to know exactly what
my life would be from here on out,
207
00:19:26,822 --> 00:19:30,322
I would marry a guy like Peter.
208
00:19:30,408 --> 00:19:33,114
But I love not knowing.
209
00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:38,909
I love our messy loft... your beater car.
210
00:19:41,878 --> 00:19:44,749
I wanna start a life with you.
211
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,250
Sarah?
212
00:19:46,341 --> 00:19:48,630
Go! Go!
213
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:54,131
Hi, Daddy.
214
00:19:58,228 --> 00:20:03,816
Peewee... Marriage is like
a business investment.
215
00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:09,903
Its long-term viability
is best established unemotionally.
216
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:14,948
Bottom line, Daddy we love each other.
That is all that matters.
217
00:20:28,550 --> 00:20:30,294
Leezak.
218
00:20:30,386 --> 00:20:31,549
Good night, sir.
219
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,971
Congratulations, Mr Leezak!
220
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:41,345
Big Daddy Leezak's in the house!
221
00:20:43,356 --> 00:20:45,929
Oh, I hope she doesn't spook on you, man.
222
00:20:46,818 --> 00:20:48,360
What do you mean?
223
00:20:48,445 --> 00:20:53,107
I love Sarah, don't get me wrong.
But rich chicks spook.
224
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,412
A powerful daddy plus family money
equals expectations.
225
00:20:57,495 --> 00:21:00,864
Expectations are like
a fungal rot on a marriage.
226
00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:05,002
Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot.
227
00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:08,955
We're gonna be happily married
every day for the rest of our lives.
228
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:14,512
Unless she finds out
that you slaughtered her dog.
229
00:21:14,596 --> 00:21:16,504
I'll take that to my grave.
230
00:21:22,938 --> 00:21:27,481
OK, if you change your mind
at the altar, just pass out.
231
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:30,106
I'm not going to change my mind.
232
00:21:30,196 --> 00:21:33,564
OK. I'm just saying, if you do,
just hit the floor.
233
00:21:33,657 --> 00:21:36,279
Thank you. But it's not gonna happen.
234
00:21:36,911 --> 00:21:39,781
You're sure you're ready to
give up your grazing rights?
235
00:21:39,872 --> 00:21:41,580
I'm not a grazer, Kyle.
236
00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:44,037
What if you became one later in life?
237
00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:49,500
I mean, over the next ten years,
you're giving up five hayrides per year.
238
00:21:49,589 --> 00:21:53,801
So I can either be happily married
to Sarah, or have 50 one-night stands.
239
00:21:53,885 --> 00:21:57,634
- Minimum.
- That's not even a choice.
240
00:21:59,307 --> 00:22:02,178
OK, OK, let's move on.
241
00:22:02,269 --> 00:22:06,053
Are there any chicks you didn't have
that you wish you had?
242
00:22:06,148 --> 00:22:08,437
You are, like, the worst best man ever!
243
00:22:08,525 --> 00:22:10,185
Peter!
244
00:22:12,321 --> 00:22:14,810
I can't believe she invited Prentiss.
245
00:22:14,906 --> 00:22:17,444
- Glad you made it, buddy.
- Hey, man.
246
00:22:17,534 --> 00:22:20,451
Did she ever hook up with that yahoo?
247
00:22:21,788 --> 00:22:25,572
Nah. They went backpacking in Europe once,
just after high school.
248
00:22:25,666 --> 00:22:28,288
I don't think anything happened.
249
00:22:28,378 --> 00:22:34,631
Whoa. You're getting married,
and she didn't share the roster?
250
00:22:36,594 --> 00:22:38,635
She shared the roster.
251
00:22:41,475 --> 00:22:44,725
Merrick... and Bruce.
252
00:22:49,690 --> 00:22:51,599
What about Prentiss?
253
00:22:55,572 --> 00:22:58,277
And you never asked again?
254
00:22:58,366 --> 00:23:01,367
I won. It's irrelevant.
255
00:23:03,329 --> 00:23:09,202
Oh. OK. As long as you're OK
with a bogus roster.
256
00:23:09,294 --> 00:23:11,964
- It's not a bogus roster!
- Is he on or is he off?
257
00:23:12,047 --> 00:23:13,589
He's...
258
00:23:14,883 --> 00:23:16,960
- Shut up.
- Huh? Huh?
259
00:23:21,306 --> 00:23:22,883
And you could've had Peter.
260
00:23:22,974 --> 00:23:25,725
I did have Peter, and it wasn't that hot. OK?
261
00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:30,011
Excuse me?
262
00:23:30,106 --> 00:23:33,357
I was in Seattle, helping at an appraisal.
263
00:23:33,443 --> 00:23:37,061
Ran into Peter. We went out.
I drank way too much,
264
00:23:37,155 --> 00:23:42,031
and before I knew it, we... tussled.
265
00:23:42,577 --> 00:23:45,198
You bad girl.
266
00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:49,580
I wanted to tell Tom so many times,
but he gets so jealous you know.
267
00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:52,502
Listen, it doesn't matter
that he doesn't know.
268
00:23:52,587 --> 00:23:55,373
It's not like you guys were married,
and even if you were...
269
00:23:55,464 --> 00:23:58,169
No, no, no. It matters to me.
270
00:23:58,259 --> 00:24:02,091
It's like living a lie. I cannot live a lie.
271
00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:06,308
There will always be this
big fat elephant in the room with us.
272
00:24:06,392 --> 00:24:09,063
Listen, Peewee, never tell him.
273
00:24:11,606 --> 00:24:13,231
It's time to go, Sarah.
274
00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:16,935
Come on.
275
00:24:18,113 --> 00:24:19,608
- Got everything?
- Yes.
276
00:24:19,698 --> 00:24:20,979
How are you holding up?
277
00:24:21,075 --> 00:24:24,074
Pussy's a mess.
I'm just telling you right now, be prepared.
278
00:25:00,738 --> 00:25:02,316
Wait.
279
00:25:09,205 --> 00:25:10,403
- Oh! Ow.
- Ooh!
280
00:25:10,498 --> 00:25:12,290
- Oh, are you OK?
- Yes.
281
00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:15,459
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.
282
00:25:15,545 --> 00:25:18,416
This threshold thing isn't as easy as it looks.
283
00:25:26,598 --> 00:25:30,844
Daddy got the big suite! Yeah, he did!
284
00:25:38,568 --> 00:25:41,651
We're really married.
We're really, really married.
285
00:25:41,737 --> 00:25:43,813
For ever and ever.
286
00:25:46,493 --> 00:25:48,699
Do you feel like it?
287
00:25:48,787 --> 00:25:51,823
I don't know. Do you?
288
00:25:54,125 --> 00:25:56,617
I'm kinda tired.
289
00:25:57,754 --> 00:25:59,829
Me too.
290
00:26:00,923 --> 00:26:03,211
- I mean, hey...
- OK.
291
00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:16,346
What's the matter?
292
00:26:17,774 --> 00:26:20,977
It's our wedding night,
and we don't wanna have sex.
293
00:26:21,945 --> 00:26:25,064
No... Well, it's OK.
294
00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:29,616
We're tired. It's fine.
295
00:26:29,702 --> 00:26:32,371
Baby, it's just that this is our wedding day,
296
00:26:32,455 --> 00:26:35,325
something I've fantasized
about my whole life.
297
00:26:39,337 --> 00:26:41,792
And now it's over.
298
00:26:45,927 --> 00:26:49,712
Did you have wedding fantasies
when you were a little boy?
299
00:26:56,020 --> 00:26:57,431
Kinda.
300
00:26:57,522 --> 00:27:00,013
Oh, honey.
301
00:27:00,108 --> 00:27:04,485
Oh, my God! Tomorrow my parents
are gonna know I'm not a virgin any more!
302
00:27:04,570 --> 00:27:06,609
Sarah...
303
00:27:06,697 --> 00:27:09,901
Oh... You haven't been
a virgin since college.
304
00:27:09,993 --> 00:27:14,701
I know. I know. But tomorrow they're
gonna know for sure that I'm not a virgin.
305
00:27:14,789 --> 00:27:19,249
And they're gonna know
that you deflowered me. Oh, God! Oh, no!
306
00:27:19,335 --> 00:27:21,127
- Oh, honey!
- Deflowered?
307
00:27:21,212 --> 00:27:24,213
That's what my mom always called it.
My mommy.
308
00:27:24,299 --> 00:27:26,587
Oh, Sarah.
309
00:27:26,676 --> 00:27:30,757
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Hey.
310
00:27:31,849 --> 00:27:34,885
I love you. OK?
311
00:27:34,976 --> 00:27:40,100
And we have our entire lives to have sex.
312
00:27:41,148 --> 00:27:44,730
So it's OK if we don't do it tonight.
313
00:27:46,446 --> 00:27:48,106
OK?
314
00:27:50,658 --> 00:27:52,319
Now I kinda feel like it.
315
00:27:52,410 --> 00:27:54,901
- Really?
- Yeah.
316
00:27:54,995 --> 00:27:56,870
That was a sexy speech.
317
00:27:56,956 --> 00:28:00,954
I, you know, turn it on
every once in a while.
318
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,957
Oh, bloody nose! Bloody nose!
319
00:28:07,050 --> 00:28:10,251
Oh, hello, hello! Hello, hello!
320
00:28:10,343 --> 00:28:12,420
Here you go.
321
00:28:14,807 --> 00:28:18,674
You've been mine for one night,
and you're falling apart already.
322
00:28:18,769 --> 00:28:21,474
I'm not gonna have to trade ya in, am I?
323
00:28:22,190 --> 00:28:23,933
OK...
324
00:28:24,025 --> 00:28:27,725
There you go. Just like that.
It'll stop the bleeding.
325
00:28:30,073 --> 00:28:32,231
I look like a chimp.
326
00:28:34,244 --> 00:28:36,320
You look gorgeous.
327
00:28:38,248 --> 00:28:40,655
Let's go to sleep.
328
00:28:43,252 --> 00:28:46,170
- I love you.
- I love you, too, baby.
329
00:29:39,643 --> 00:29:42,180
Sweetie, our plane leaves in an hour.
330
00:29:42,270 --> 00:29:44,345
- Argh! Argh!
- Ow!
331
00:29:48,776 --> 00:29:52,310
OK, so that wasn't
the smoothest start to a honeymoon.
332
00:29:53,197 --> 00:29:58,867
But tomorrow we will be at the foot
of the Alps at the Hotel des Reves.
333
00:29:58,953 --> 00:30:01,443
- Yes, we will.
- It'll be totally perfect.
334
00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:04,540
Yes, it sounds totally perfect.
335
00:30:07,503 --> 00:30:09,580
But I can't wait until then.
336
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,596
Jimmy-crack-corn!
337
00:30:32,654 --> 00:30:34,776
Close it, bitch!
338
00:30:37,617 --> 00:30:40,154
There's a lock on the door
for a reason, Junior.
339
00:30:40,244 --> 00:30:42,818
I'm claustrophobic, OK?
340
00:30:42,914 --> 00:30:44,076
Do we have a problem?
341
00:30:44,165 --> 00:30:45,743
- No.
- No, no problem.
342
00:30:45,833 --> 00:30:47,625
- We're just waiting.
- Yeah.
343
00:30:47,710 --> 00:30:49,536
Mm-hm.
344
00:30:57,469 --> 00:31:01,846
Mexican food. That's an oxymoron.
345
00:31:07,688 --> 00:31:10,558
Sweet Lord! Where does that come from?
346
00:31:10,649 --> 00:31:12,642
- Let's just wait.
- Oh, my gosh.
347
00:31:12,734 --> 00:31:16,399
.. has turned on
the "fasten seat belt" sign.
348
00:31:16,488 --> 00:31:18,529
Kindly return to your seats.
349
00:31:18,616 --> 00:31:22,447
OK... Breathe through your mouth.
Breathe through your mouth.
350
00:31:22,536 --> 00:31:24,825
- No, it's really bad.
- Just do it!
351
00:31:29,209 --> 00:31:30,408
Hurry up!
352
00:31:34,173 --> 00:31:36,629
OK, OK, let me just...
353
00:31:37,259 --> 00:31:39,217
Oh!
354
00:31:44,266 --> 00:31:46,889
This is gonna work. This is gonna work.
355
00:31:48,103 --> 00:31:51,058
- I'm gonna step on the toilet.
- OK, perfect.
356
00:32:00,574 --> 00:32:03,408
- What?
- The crapper's got my foot.
357
00:32:03,493 --> 00:32:05,451
- Wait. Let me help.
- Sarah...
358
00:32:05,538 --> 00:32:08,159
OK, OK, one, two, three.
359
00:32:13,755 --> 00:32:15,082
Return to your seats please.
360
00:32:15,172 --> 00:32:17,580
- Be right out. OK, you OK?
- Yeah.
361
00:32:17,675 --> 00:32:20,960
OK, wait. OK, one, two, three.
362
00:32:21,971 --> 00:32:24,462
Return to your seats now, please.
363
00:32:24,556 --> 00:32:26,798
Beat it, stew!
364
00:32:29,227 --> 00:32:30,721
Return...
365
00:32:34,317 --> 00:32:39,192
Playtime is over, children.
Return to your seats! Do you hear me?
366
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:40,987
- Let's flush it.
- I'll pull.
367
00:32:45,661 --> 00:32:46,941
I can't get it out!
368
00:32:47,038 --> 00:32:49,825
The captain has turned on
the "fasten seat belt" sign!
369
00:32:49,916 --> 00:32:52,786
Wait, wait, wait. Here.
Ready? One, two, three.
370
00:33:01,135 --> 00:33:03,969
Mesdames and messieurs...
371
00:33:04,054 --> 00:33:08,763
- We can tell the grandchildren about that.
- Great story for the kids.
372
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,722
- Bonjour.
- How you doing that there, chief?
373
00:33:15,817 --> 00:33:18,816
Can we get Lee car for Leezak?
374
00:33:20,029 --> 00:33:24,157
Bonjour. Les reservations sont pour LeezaK.
375
00:33:24,241 --> 00:33:26,318
Oui, mademoiselle.
376
00:33:26,995 --> 00:33:31,454
- You never told me you spoke French.
- It was that summer abroad I backpack to Europe.
377
00:33:31,539 --> 00:33:34,991
Ah, here we are. For Mr and Mrs Leezak.
378
00:33:35,085 --> 00:33:37,327
Must be some mistake, no?
379
00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:39,497
No, no mistake. Mr and Mrs.
380
00:33:41,550 --> 00:33:42,629
What the hell?
381
00:33:42,718 --> 00:33:45,884
- These sports scores are two days old.
- So?
382
00:33:45,971 --> 00:33:49,636
So? You know perfectly well if I don't have
an up-to-date sports section,
383
00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:52,726
work it throws off my whole day,
starting with my morning dump.
384
00:33:52,811 --> 00:33:56,180
Honey, there's gonna be
satellite TV in the hotel.
385
00:34:00,068 --> 00:34:01,396
Voila.
386
00:34:01,486 --> 00:34:04,607
Ah. I wonder what kind of wheels we got.
387
00:34:05,781 --> 00:34:09,483
I'm telling you, this is not the car.
I specifically ordered a compact.
388
00:34:09,578 --> 00:34:11,120
This is a European compact.
389
00:34:11,204 --> 00:34:15,155
No! This is a Ringling Brothers compact.
I've owned Tonka trucks bigger than this car.
390
00:34:15,250 --> 00:34:17,492
Honey, I looked at the brochure,
391
00:34:17,586 --> 00:34:22,414
and there was a Fiesta
on the cover, not a Bingo.
392
00:34:22,508 --> 00:34:27,217
Aw. Baby needs a great big car
to make him happy?
393
00:34:27,304 --> 00:34:30,425
We could really use a Dodge about now.
394
00:34:30,517 --> 00:34:33,884
We could
really use a Dodge about now.
395
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,015
What was that?
396
00:34:37,104 --> 00:34:38,978
You just sound so American.
397
00:34:39,065 --> 00:34:41,983
We could
use a Dodge about now.
398
00:34:42,069 --> 00:34:45,319
While I'm makin' a doody,
can you hand me my sports section and bare with that?
399
00:34:45,406 --> 00:34:47,398
Thank you very much, ma'am.
400
00:34:48,533 --> 00:34:50,692
Are you mocking me?
401
00:34:50,786 --> 00:34:53,241
No. Baby, just floor it.
402
00:34:53,330 --> 00:34:57,743
I am flooring it. If I pushed any harder,
my foot would blow through the floor,
403
00:34:57,835 --> 00:35:00,076
and we'd be Flintstoning our asses there.
404
00:35:00,170 --> 00:35:02,329
Ooh, whoa, whoa, turn here!
405
00:35:10,722 --> 00:35:12,097
- You OK?
- Yeah. You?
406
00:35:12,182 --> 00:35:13,641
Yeah.
407
00:35:16,395 --> 00:35:21,520
If you'd told me about the turn maybe before we pass it,
I wouldn't have had to pull such a nascar crazy manuevere!
408
00:35:21,608 --> 00:35:25,273
I was busy looking at the map!
Somebody had to navigate.
409
00:35:32,369 --> 00:35:36,497
Listen to us. We sound
like an old married couple.
410
00:35:38,791 --> 00:35:40,867
Never again.
411
00:35:47,634 --> 00:35:51,714
Just for the record, why did I
almost get us killed back there?
412
00:35:52,597 --> 00:35:54,720
Because that's our hotel.
413
00:35:55,976 --> 00:35:59,725
- It looks like a castle.
- It is a castle.
414
00:35:59,813 --> 00:36:02,767
Then that's precisely why it looks like one.
415
00:36:04,609 --> 00:36:06,353
- Let's go.
- OK.
416
00:36:26,047 --> 00:36:30,591
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
417
00:36:32,429 --> 00:36:34,505
Let's go.
418
00:36:48,236 --> 00:36:52,400
Ohh. Look, baby, look.
It comes with free nuns.
419
00:36:52,491 --> 00:36:54,234
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
420
00:36:54,326 --> 00:36:56,532
- Bonjour. Merci.
- Bonjour. Merci.
421
00:36:56,619 --> 00:36:58,280
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
422
00:36:58,372 --> 00:36:59,403
Merci.
423
00:37:00,540 --> 00:37:03,411
- Ah! Bonjour.
- Bonjour.
424
00:37:03,502 --> 00:37:07,500
Merci. Bonjour. Merci.
425
00:37:07,589 --> 00:37:12,584
Bonjour. Merci. Bonjour. Merci.
426
00:37:12,677 --> 00:37:14,717
- Vous etes Americans?
- Oui.
427
00:37:14,805 --> 00:37:17,924
Welcome to Hotel des Reves.
I am Henri Margeaux.
428
00:37:18,016 --> 00:37:20,423
Nous sommes Sarah et Tom LeezaK.
429
00:37:20,519 --> 00:37:21,893
- Leezak, no!
- Oui.
430
00:37:21,978 --> 00:37:23,852
- The honeymooners?
- Oui.
431
00:37:23,938 --> 00:37:26,691
- No!
- Oui. Why?
432
00:37:26,775 --> 00:37:30,523
So fresh and young to have marriage, no?
433
00:37:30,612 --> 00:37:32,687
No. We're married.
434
00:37:33,156 --> 00:37:35,826
I almost forget.
435
00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:38,530
Ooh, presents.
436
00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:42,072
"Congratulations.
Have a wonderful honeymoon. Love...
437
00:37:42,833 --> 00:37:44,742
Peter. "
438
00:37:44,835 --> 00:37:47,408
That's a platonic "love".
439
00:37:49,047 --> 00:37:51,454
Forget about Peter.
440
00:37:51,550 --> 00:37:53,625
Here. Please enjoy.
441
00:37:54,802 --> 00:37:57,425
Room, all upstairs.
442
00:37:57,514 --> 00:38:00,598
Francois, les bagages, en haut.
Tout de suite, s'il vous plaitt.
443
00:38:00,684 --> 00:38:02,012
Oh!
444
00:38:02,102 --> 00:38:04,308
- Bonjour!
- Merci!
445
00:38:08,817 --> 00:38:12,601
Ohh! Tell me this isn't your fantasy.
446
00:38:15,282 --> 00:38:17,074
This is better than my fantasy.
447
00:38:17,158 --> 00:38:19,650
Good, cos we're paying out the ass for it.
448
00:38:19,744 --> 00:38:22,947
Honey, just for the record,
when you talk about money,
449
00:38:23,039 --> 00:38:28,330
especially it coming out of your heinie,
it sort of kills the romance of the moment.
450
00:38:28,962 --> 00:38:30,752
Right. Sorry.
451
00:38:33,549 --> 00:38:38,710
Now fight your deep urge to be cheap,
and give the bellboy a large tip.
452
00:38:38,805 --> 00:38:39,968
All right.
453
00:38:40,056 --> 00:38:44,600
- Hey, do you guys provide satellite TV?
- TV in bar.
454
00:38:46,063 --> 00:38:49,847
- So there's no TV in this room?
- TV in bar.
455
00:38:53,069 --> 00:38:56,153
- Ask him if they have ESPN.
- Pour I'amour de Dieu.
456
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,442
Je lui ai dit, a monsieur,
que la tele est dans le bar.
457
00:38:59,784 --> 00:39:04,327
Je crois que sa femme n'est pas vous.
C'est la tele.
458
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:09,830
He said the TV's in the bar.
459
00:39:13,964 --> 00:39:18,710
He also said that if he were here with me,
he wouldn't be concerned with TV.
460
00:39:20,764 --> 00:39:22,259
He makes a point.
461
00:39:22,349 --> 00:39:26,891
- Oh, I gotta call Mom and Dad.
- Talk about killing the romance.
462
00:39:26,978 --> 00:39:29,895
I told them I'd call. It'll just take a minute.
463
00:39:31,816 --> 00:39:34,223
Hi, Mom? It's Peewee.
464
00:39:34,318 --> 00:39:36,146
Oh, say hi to Pussy for me.
465
00:39:36,237 --> 00:39:37,946
Pussy...
466
00:39:40,074 --> 00:39:41,652
Tom says hello.
467
00:39:42,244 --> 00:39:44,817
Yeah. Oh, it's so great.
468
00:39:46,206 --> 00:39:47,534
Uh-huh.
469
00:39:47,624 --> 00:39:52,914
"To Tom and Sarah.
Enhance thy honeymoon. Love, Kyle. "
470
00:39:53,505 --> 00:39:55,579
I'll call you later, Mom. Bye.
471
00:39:56,965 --> 00:40:00,170
Cheese and rice.
Is that a Thunderstick A200?
472
00:40:00,261 --> 00:40:02,134
Since when did you become an expert?
473
00:40:02,221 --> 00:40:06,468
- I told you about that night I had in college.
- You didn't tell me about the hardware.
474
00:40:06,559 --> 00:40:08,801
Getting a visual?
475
00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:12,685
We gotta charge this thing.
476
00:40:20,574 --> 00:40:25,034
- That plug won't fit in a European outlet.
- I'll make it fit.
477
00:40:28,205 --> 00:40:29,403
Come on.
478
00:40:29,498 --> 00:40:30,529
Honey, Don't force it.
479
00:40:42,971 --> 00:40:44,844
Are you OK? Are you OK?
480
00:40:44,931 --> 00:40:49,676
Holy dude Jesus. Good thing that
didn't happen when we were using it.
481
00:40:52,063 --> 00:40:53,178
Oh, God.
482
00:40:53,273 --> 00:40:56,688
Allez dans la cour,
s'il vous plaitt, tout de suite.
483
00:40:56,776 --> 00:40:59,147
Come on! Come on, Thunderstick!
484
00:40:59,235 --> 00:41:02,854
- Oh, no. OK, just leave it.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
485
00:41:29,851 --> 00:41:34,559
My grandparents
installed the wiring in the hotel
486
00:41:34,647 --> 00:41:37,398
before World War First!
487
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:45,363
It worked fine, until you young kids had
to bring out your toys and ignore the sign!
488
00:41:50,914 --> 00:41:53,534
That is the... the...
489
00:41:53,624 --> 00:41:57,669
- That's in French, for christ sakes.
- That's because we're in France.
490
00:41:57,754 --> 00:42:01,040
- Is there anything we could do?
- Pay the damages.
491
00:42:01,133 --> 00:42:02,508
Hold on there, Jacques.
492
00:42:02,592 --> 00:42:05,462
Je m'appelle Henri Margeaux.
493
00:42:05,552 --> 00:42:09,881
Whatever! Look, this hotel gets
guests from all over the world.
494
00:42:09,973 --> 00:42:12,975
It's your responsibility
to put some American on your signs.
495
00:42:13,061 --> 00:42:14,388
He means English.
496
00:42:14,478 --> 00:42:17,100
Sarah I'm trying to negotiate.
497
00:42:17,189 --> 00:42:19,395
So I must make my hotel of dreams
498
00:42:19,483 --> 00:42:22,520
like every other Howard Johnson's,
with a bright orange roof?
499
00:42:22,612 --> 00:42:25,945
- It wouldn't hurt.
- Imbecile de cochon d'American.
500
00:42:26,032 --> 00:42:29,234
- Cochon what?
- Stupid American pig.
501
00:42:29,326 --> 00:42:33,194
Oh. Oh, yeah?
502
00:42:33,289 --> 00:42:36,242
Well, I guess that makes you
a stupid French...
503
00:42:37,168 --> 00:42:38,911
frog!
504
00:42:39,003 --> 00:42:41,042
Oh, yeah. I said it. Frog!
505
00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:43,372
You get out of my Hotel des Reves!
506
00:42:43,465 --> 00:42:46,881
I wouldn't stay in this dump if you paid us!
507
00:42:47,761 --> 00:42:50,632
- Let's go to the Ho Jo's honey.
- There are no Ho Jo's here Tom.
508
00:42:50,722 --> 00:42:52,467
Sarah, please!
509
00:42:52,558 --> 00:42:56,852
There is a farm up the road.
And they have a nice pigsty for you!
510
00:42:56,937 --> 00:43:00,142
Yeah? Well maybe they'll have
a nice little bulldozer,
511
00:43:00,233 --> 00:43:03,483
and we can finish this place off, tough guy!
512
00:43:03,569 --> 00:43:07,068
And the credit card bill will be
a fat one, Mr Tough Guy!
513
00:43:07,156 --> 00:43:11,782
Yeah? Well, we're keeping the champagne
and the cheese, Jacques-strap!
514
00:43:13,495 --> 00:43:15,120
Let's go, honey.
515
00:43:16,916 --> 00:43:18,992
What's wrong?
516
00:43:20,044 --> 00:43:22,795
Where are we gonna stay, Tom?
517
00:43:22,879 --> 00:43:26,415
Don't worry. This is like a vacation zone.
We'll find a place.
518
00:43:26,509 --> 00:43:28,466
Now get your shit. Let's go.
519
00:43:29,554 --> 00:43:31,463
What's the next place?
520
00:43:31,556 --> 00:43:37,595
The next hotel with no vacancy
would be Schloss Hilliger Winterswald.
521
00:43:37,687 --> 00:43:40,640
- How far is it?
- 120 kilometres.
522
00:43:40,731 --> 00:43:42,689
In miles, please!
523
00:43:42,774 --> 00:43:45,811
74.4. You multiply by 0.6.
524
00:43:45,903 --> 00:43:49,817
- I'm learning so much.
- Oh, me too. Me too.
525
00:43:56,747 --> 00:43:58,372
Let me guess...
526
00:44:05,130 --> 00:44:07,704
This is great. This is just what we need.
527
00:44:07,801 --> 00:44:11,632
- Do you want me to drive?
- Honey, I can drive in the snow.
528
00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:16,677
Turn off your brights, jackass!
529
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:53,004
Great. Now we get to freeze to death.
530
00:44:55,848 --> 00:45:01,353
Look, we'll just... We'll sleep in here
and we'll dig out in the morning.
531
00:45:01,437 --> 00:45:05,435
I'm so glad I get to hear the phrase
"We'll dig out" on my honeymoon.
532
00:45:05,524 --> 00:45:07,351
Yeah.
533
00:45:10,780 --> 00:45:13,236
Just get it over with now and blame me.
534
00:45:13,324 --> 00:45:18,318
If you hadn't insulted Henri and never talked, we wouldn't
be spending the evening in a snowball.
535
00:45:18,412 --> 00:45:23,999
I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to be a little
bit more refined like your friend Peter.
536
00:45:24,084 --> 00:45:26,872
- Good night, Tom.
- Good night, Sarah.
537
00:46:02,915 --> 00:46:05,122
Are you gonna hate me forever?
538
00:46:05,208 --> 00:46:07,747
Mmm...
539
00:46:07,836 --> 00:46:11,288
I don't know. Hm...
540
00:46:14,093 --> 00:46:15,754
Wanna get drunk and make out?
541
00:46:15,845 --> 00:46:19,629
Well, that's not gonna get me drunk,
but we could make out.
542
00:46:24,978 --> 00:46:28,062
We could get injured doing this.
543
00:46:28,148 --> 00:46:31,767
I'll settle for a cuddle.
Just let me get the shifter out of my ass.
544
00:46:31,860 --> 00:46:33,936
OK.
545
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:45,914
Sarah... It's morning.
546
00:47:05,644 --> 00:47:07,851
Oh, my God.
547
00:47:11,483 --> 00:47:13,607
- Oh, my...
- Oh, my God.
548
00:47:13,693 --> 00:47:15,521
It's incredible.
549
00:47:15,945 --> 00:47:20,443
- Let's just stay here for the rest of the trip.
- Fine with me.
550
00:47:27,749 --> 00:47:29,872
- Hey! Help!
- Excuse me!
551
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,159
Hey!
552
00:47:34,256 --> 00:47:36,830
Blue car, blue car!
553
00:47:36,925 --> 00:47:38,799
- Oh.
- It worked.
554
00:48:11,001 --> 00:48:14,833
We can catch the two o'clock train to Venice
and go straight to the Gianna.
555
00:48:14,921 --> 00:48:18,966
- Our reservation isn't until Tuesday.
- So we'll stay a few extra days.
556
00:48:19,051 --> 00:48:21,423
I just put an entire castle on my credit card.
557
00:48:21,511 --> 00:48:24,797
We can't afford to stay at the Gianna
for a few extra days.
558
00:48:24,890 --> 00:48:27,891
So I'll call my dad up,
and he'll lend us the money.
559
00:48:27,977 --> 00:48:31,261
No, there's no possible way
I'm taking money from your dad.
560
00:48:31,354 --> 00:48:33,727
Pride is the crutch of the insecure.
561
00:48:33,816 --> 00:48:36,650
You are not taking the money.
I am taking the money.
562
00:48:36,735 --> 00:48:40,946
No, we don't need to take the money.
This is about us now.
563
00:48:41,031 --> 00:48:44,815
Listen my dad told me about this
nice little pensione in Venice...
564
00:48:44,910 --> 00:48:46,155
Pensione?
565
00:48:46,244 --> 00:48:49,365
- Grobes Scheibhaus.
- Excuse me.
566
00:48:49,457 --> 00:48:51,413
Could you just drive?
567
00:48:51,499 --> 00:48:53,159
Please just let me call my dad.
568
00:48:53,251 --> 00:48:56,501
No! This is our honeymoon, not his.
569
00:48:56,588 --> 00:49:00,289
So it's fine to just stay at a pensione
that your father recommended?
570
00:49:00,385 --> 00:49:04,333
But we're staying at the Pensione Funicello,
and we'll gonna have a hell of a good time.
571
00:49:04,428 --> 00:49:08,640
I can't take this any more! Honeymoons
are supposed to be all champagne
572
00:49:08,725 --> 00:49:12,508
and room service and lovemaking!
We haven't made love!
573
00:49:12,603 --> 00:49:15,689
No. What do we get?
We get evicted from a five-star hotel
574
00:49:15,774 --> 00:49:19,641
and, to boot, I'm yelling at you!
We're yelling at each other.
575
00:49:19,736 --> 00:49:24,481
We're not yelling at each other. I'm
the one that yelling. I'm sorry, I wanna go home.
576
00:49:24,574 --> 00:49:26,448
Maybe we should go home.
577
00:49:26,535 --> 00:49:29,950
I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect,
578
00:49:30,038 --> 00:49:34,746
but I'm sure the pensione is gonna be fine.
Look, we'll check in, sleep late,
579
00:49:34,834 --> 00:49:38,619
eat pasta, gaze out at the Piazza del...
580
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,957
something-something.
581
00:49:42,884 --> 00:49:44,294
It's gonna be heaven.
582
00:49:54,938 --> 00:49:57,310
- Pensione Funicello?
- Si, si.
583
00:50:01,736 --> 00:50:04,063
- Are you sure this is correcto?
- Si, si.
584
00:50:06,365 --> 00:50:08,157
How bad could it be?
585
00:50:11,996 --> 00:50:13,870
Aw, crap.
586
00:50:19,212 --> 00:50:21,288
Hey...
587
00:50:21,380 --> 00:50:23,623
We're in this together, right?
588
00:50:25,802 --> 00:50:29,503
Do you have four men staring
at your boobies right now?
589
00:50:30,683 --> 00:50:33,517
Che bella! Vieni qua, ragazza!
590
00:50:35,228 --> 00:50:36,639
No.
591
00:51:13,266 --> 00:51:15,092
Yeah, just...
592
00:51:15,184 --> 00:51:18,849
You know, we'll try it for one night,
and if we don't...
593
00:51:18,938 --> 00:51:21,180
Live.
594
00:51:21,274 --> 00:51:26,860
.. like it, we'II, you know,
go somewhere nicer tomorrow.
595
00:51:26,946 --> 00:51:28,773
- Grazie.
- Grazie.
596
00:51:36,498 --> 00:51:39,203
This is actually happening!
597
00:51:43,963 --> 00:51:46,963
We're never gonna forget this honeymoon.
598
00:51:47,049 --> 00:51:48,248
Mm-mm.
599
00:52:18,581 --> 00:52:20,289
Sorry.
600
00:52:22,502 --> 00:52:23,699
Buonasera.
601
00:52:32,846 --> 00:52:38,718
Di su, di giu, dentro, sopra,
fuori, sotto, non ce la faccio piu!
602
00:52:45,442 --> 00:52:48,015
We can show those paisanos how it's done.
603
00:52:52,823 --> 00:52:55,528
Cockroach, cockroach, cockroach!
604
00:52:55,618 --> 00:52:58,109
Oh, honey! honey, honey! I'll get him!
605
00:52:58,204 --> 00:53:00,328
OK, OK, OK.
606
00:53:00,415 --> 00:53:03,451
Let's get outta here, please!
607
00:53:03,543 --> 00:53:06,033
- We're checking out!
- I don't wanna touch it!
608
00:53:06,128 --> 00:53:08,003
Get it off me!
609
00:53:12,302 --> 00:53:14,544
Thanks for the help, Daddy.
610
00:53:15,681 --> 00:53:18,681
I miss you.
611
00:53:18,765 --> 00:53:20,723
OK. Bye.
612
00:53:20,810 --> 00:53:22,684
Honey, he wants to talk to you.
613
00:53:22,769 --> 00:53:27,313
Can't you just tell him thank you from
all of us here at the gorgeous Gianna?
614
00:53:29,402 --> 00:53:31,063
Shh.
615
00:53:36,535 --> 00:53:38,526
Hello there, Mr McNerney.
616
00:53:38,619 --> 00:53:42,534
Please bear in mind that
our daughter loves him, Dan.
617
00:53:42,624 --> 00:53:48,828
Listen, Leezak, I don't expect
a cracker like you to ever measure up
618
00:53:48,922 --> 00:53:52,753
to anything approaching what I'd consider
a good match for my daughter.
619
00:53:52,842 --> 00:53:54,668
But I'll tell you what I do expect.
620
00:53:54,759 --> 00:53:59,387
I expect you to pay me back in full just as
soon as that silly-ass radio show of yours
621
00:53:59,473 --> 00:54:01,679
yields any Kind of reasonable income.
622
00:54:01,767 --> 00:54:04,057
Goodbye, cracker.
623
00:54:05,980 --> 00:54:08,223
Ass-bag!
624
00:54:08,316 --> 00:54:10,985
- What was that?
- He called me a cracker!
625
00:54:11,069 --> 00:54:13,311
A cracker, honey!
626
00:54:13,404 --> 00:54:15,481
He did not.
627
00:54:15,573 --> 00:54:19,868
That surprises you? Your dad hates me.
"Well, wonderful, wonderful. "
628
00:54:19,953 --> 00:54:23,617
He's got your whole family
praying that this marriage fails.
629
00:54:23,706 --> 00:54:26,279
That's not faired mom's never said a bad word about you.
630
00:54:26,375 --> 00:54:30,871
Wow, Pussy's never insulted me!
Now I feel loved.
631
00:54:30,963 --> 00:54:33,454
Like your father's never judged me?
632
00:54:33,549 --> 00:54:36,668
No, he hasn't. Not once.
633
00:54:43,225 --> 00:54:45,018
Maybe we should just have sex.
634
00:54:45,103 --> 00:54:48,803
Call me crazy, but I'm just
not in the mood to make love.
635
00:54:51,109 --> 00:54:55,901
I'm not, either. But we haven't had sex once
since we've been married,
636
00:54:55,988 --> 00:54:59,191
and there is something
very, very wrong with that.
637
00:54:59,282 --> 00:55:02,320
And I have to tell you...
Why are you laughing? It's not funny!
638
00:55:02,412 --> 00:55:04,736
I'm sorry.
639
00:55:04,830 --> 00:55:07,156
I'm concerned.
640
00:55:07,249 --> 00:55:13,252
Let's go to sleep. We'll get a good rest,
we'll sightsee tomorrow.
641
00:55:13,339 --> 00:55:15,415
Be fresh in the morning.
642
00:55:17,135 --> 00:55:18,759
Fine.
643
00:55:20,387 --> 00:55:22,761
And then we'll have sex.
644
00:56:15,568 --> 00:56:19,862
Imagine Ernest Hemingway sitting
right over there at the Caffe Florian,
645
00:56:19,947 --> 00:56:24,693
just sipping a single malt,
dreaming up his next masterpiece.
646
00:56:28,331 --> 00:56:30,538
Those birds are psychotic.
647
00:56:32,001 --> 00:56:34,835
History doesn't interest you at all, does it baby?
648
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:40,162
Huh? Yeah, it does. I wasn't an art history
major, though, so it's not like...
649
00:56:40,259 --> 00:56:43,841
You don't have to be an art history major
to appreciate art.
650
00:56:43,929 --> 00:56:46,764
- Whoa, whoa.
- What? What?
651
00:56:46,849 --> 00:56:49,007
Do you hear that?
652
00:56:49,101 --> 00:56:52,851
The bells? No? What is it, honey?
653
00:56:52,939 --> 00:56:55,015
What?
654
00:56:55,816 --> 00:56:57,609
- What?
- Ahh...
655
00:56:57,693 --> 00:56:58,892
- What?
- Shh!
656
00:56:58,987 --> 00:57:02,190
What are we listening to?
657
00:57:03,574 --> 00:57:06,064
What? What? What is it? I can help.
658
00:57:06,159 --> 00:57:09,410
- It's a message from God. It's a mes...
- God?
659
00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:13,625
There's a ground ball...
660
00:57:13,709 --> 00:57:15,582
Jackpot!
661
00:57:17,505 --> 00:57:20,209
Honey, we still have to see the Tintorettos.
662
00:57:22,218 --> 00:57:27,461
Oh, the church art is unbelievable,
663
00:57:27,556 --> 00:57:30,130
but it all kinda looks the same to me.
664
00:57:31,769 --> 00:57:34,556
You know I love sports.
665
00:57:34,647 --> 00:57:38,264
I mean, I'm a sports freak.
But how often are we in Europe?
666
00:57:38,359 --> 00:57:41,313
How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe?
667
00:57:44,281 --> 00:57:48,860
You're right. You go watch sports.
I'll go see the Tintorettos.
668
00:57:59,212 --> 00:58:00,791
- Honey...
- Yeah?
669
00:58:00,882 --> 00:58:06,089
Is this a loving act of generosity,
or am I gonna pay for this later?
670
00:58:06,929 --> 00:58:09,633
Does it make a difference?
671
00:58:09,723 --> 00:58:12,927
I'm gonna make this up to you huge. Huge.
672
00:58:13,019 --> 00:58:16,968
Tonight, everything is your choice.
Dinner in a church, if you want.
673
00:58:22,152 --> 00:58:23,945
- I Meet you at the hotel.
- Love you!
674
00:58:24,029 --> 00:58:26,318
I love you.
675
00:58:54,935 --> 00:58:57,176
Grazie. Grazie, grazie.
676
00:58:59,064 --> 00:59:01,141
Grazie, goddammit.
677
00:59:03,777 --> 00:59:05,356
Buongiorno, Fredo.
678
00:59:05,447 --> 00:59:09,526
Buongiorno, Mr Peter Prentiss.
Buongiorno. Come stai?
679
00:59:09,617 --> 00:59:10,648
Bene, bene.
680
00:59:11,119 --> 00:59:13,156
Peter?
681
00:59:13,244 --> 00:59:16,614
- Peewee? What a surprise!
- What are you doing here?
682
00:59:16,707 --> 00:59:18,082
- In Venice?
- Yes.
683
00:59:18,166 --> 00:59:24,419
In Venice Nextron's buying out Ferrugia Chocolate,
the deal that I'm working on so they sent me in to close the deal.
684
00:59:24,506 --> 00:59:29,085
- Did you get that cognac I sent you?
- Yes. I thought it a tad inappropriate.
685
00:59:30,053 --> 00:59:32,461
I'm sor... I didn't, uh...
686
00:59:32,556 --> 00:59:35,261
I'm just trying to be the gallant loser here.
687
00:59:35,350 --> 00:59:37,510
- Peter...
- Why don't we celebrate this great coincidence?
688
00:59:37,603 --> 00:59:39,809
I'll take you guys to dinner.
689
00:59:39,897 --> 00:59:42,305
I'm on my honeymoon.
690
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,854
- My honeymoon.
- Right, right, right.
691
00:59:44,942 --> 00:59:47,149
See? Yeah.
692
00:59:47,237 --> 00:59:49,692
I can be so thick sometimes. I'm sorry.
693
00:59:49,781 --> 00:59:53,197
I got a lot of work to do anyway,
so I'm going to disappear.
694
00:59:53,285 --> 00:59:54,778
But you guys have fun.
695
00:59:54,869 --> 00:59:56,494
Oh... Peter, wait.
696
00:59:56,580 --> 00:59:58,074
I'm...
697
00:59:58,165 --> 01:00:00,620
I don't mean to be rude.
698
01:00:01,668 --> 01:00:03,745
You couldn't be rude if you tried.
699
01:00:04,505 --> 01:00:07,589
How's the honeymoon?
It's good? It's a dream?
700
01:00:07,675 --> 01:00:09,086
- It's great.
- Yeah?
701
01:00:09,177 --> 01:00:11,881
- Oh, yeah, great.
- Where's Tom?
702
01:00:11,971 --> 01:00:17,594
Oh, he's at the, uh, the church
with, uh... with...
703
01:00:17,684 --> 01:00:22,013
He's a huge history buff. Yeah.
704
01:00:23,690 --> 01:00:28,767
- It's good you guys share that passion.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
705
01:00:29,947 --> 01:00:32,651
Uh, well... Bye.
706
01:00:41,333 --> 01:00:45,877
Fredo, I need to know where
that little signora is at all times.
707
01:00:46,631 --> 01:00:49,500
Very bold, Mr Prentiss.
708
01:00:49,591 --> 01:00:51,086
Grazie.
709
01:00:55,639 --> 01:00:58,390
The Dodgers won! The Dodgers won!
710
01:00:58,474 --> 01:01:00,551
The Dodgers won, honey.
711
01:01:01,686 --> 01:01:06,729
See? I knew you were gonna make me pay
for watching the game.
712
01:01:06,817 --> 01:01:10,268
No. No, it's not that.
713
01:01:11,571 --> 01:01:13,232
We need to talk.
714
01:01:15,826 --> 01:01:18,069
About what?
715
01:01:18,162 --> 01:01:20,238
Have you always told me the truth?
716
01:01:20,330 --> 01:01:23,830
Yeah. Except the time I told you
I liked your brother Willie.
717
01:01:23,917 --> 01:01:26,669
- This is serious.
- I am serious. I really don't like him.
718
01:01:26,753 --> 01:01:29,956
- Marriage is built on honesty and trust.
- I totally agree.
719
01:01:30,048 --> 01:01:33,631
OK. Did you ever do something
that you wanted to tell me about,
720
01:01:33,719 --> 01:01:36,506
but you couldn't
because you felt bad about it?
721
01:01:36,597 --> 01:01:39,468
And the more time went on,
the harder it got for you to tell me,
722
01:01:39,559 --> 01:01:43,852
and then it turned into this big fat lie,
so you kept not telling me about it...
723
01:01:43,938 --> 01:01:46,475
Did you talk to Kyle?
724
01:01:46,564 --> 01:01:48,973
- No. Why?
- No reason.
725
01:01:49,067 --> 01:01:51,819
- Does Kyle know something that I should know?
- No.
726
01:01:51,904 --> 01:01:53,942
- You covered your nose.
- I had an itch.
727
01:01:54,030 --> 01:01:57,481
You were hiding flared nostrils.
What do you have to tell?
728
01:01:59,828 --> 01:02:01,701
OK...
729
01:02:01,787 --> 01:02:04,244
It's just...
730
01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:06,741
when Bags died,
731
01:02:06,836 --> 01:02:11,746
he didn't exactly die
the way that I described it.
732
01:02:11,841 --> 01:02:16,717
Him chasing the squawking pigeons
off the balcony?
733
01:02:16,804 --> 01:02:18,677
That.
734
01:02:18,764 --> 01:02:20,638
What happened?
735
01:02:20,725 --> 01:02:24,639
Well... OK, I'm reading my magazine,
736
01:02:24,728 --> 01:02:27,266
and I'm really I'm focusing, and I'm really into it.
737
01:02:27,355 --> 01:02:30,640
And along comes Bags.
He comes trucking over,
738
01:02:30,733 --> 01:02:35,230
and he starts tugging on my ankle.
739
01:02:35,321 --> 01:02:38,323
And I was, like, "Bags, I'm... " I was like...
740
01:02:38,659 --> 01:02:42,027
I think I even said "I'm trying to focus. "
741
01:02:42,121 --> 01:02:47,826
And he looked up at me and gave me the
"Hey, are you gonna play with me or not?"
742
01:02:47,918 --> 01:02:51,750
I was, like, "Yeah, I really just
wanna read, though, Bags. "
743
01:02:51,838 --> 01:02:55,088
And... and...
he started pulling at my ankle again,
744
01:02:55,175 --> 01:02:59,042
and so I grabbed the ball
and I was, like, "Go get it, buddy. "
745
01:02:59,137 --> 01:03:04,380
I threw the ball over my shoulder, it went
out the window, Bags dove, and he died.
746
01:03:05,476 --> 01:03:07,184
You killed Bags?
747
01:03:07,270 --> 01:03:10,769
- It was an accident.
- And you lied about it all this time?
748
01:03:11,691 --> 01:03:15,606
- Actually, it was more of an omission.
- No, it was more like a lie!
749
01:03:16,153 --> 01:03:17,732
Where are you going?
750
01:03:17,823 --> 01:03:21,654
- I have to figure out what to do with this.
- What does that mean?
751
01:03:21,743 --> 01:03:24,495
I can deal with you being cheap and
I can deal with you being a shitty driver.
752
01:03:24,579 --> 01:03:27,580
I cannot,not deal with you being a liar!
753
01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:31,460
Wait a second.
754
01:03:31,544 --> 01:03:34,830
This whole thing started with you
wanting to talk about something.
755
01:03:34,923 --> 01:03:37,544
Well, I don't wanna talk about it right now.
756
01:03:38,551 --> 01:03:40,841
So you feeling guilty about something, too.
757
01:03:40,929 --> 01:03:45,472
Yes, there is something I "omitted"
that I don't wanna talk about right now.
758
01:03:45,559 --> 01:03:48,513
You want a marriage
based on trust and honesty?
759
01:03:48,603 --> 01:03:50,929
Well, here's your chance! Come on!
760
01:03:51,023 --> 01:03:54,142
Yeah, yeah, you got it! I can see it! Bring it!
761
01:03:54,234 --> 01:03:56,725
I slept with Peter Prentiss.
762
01:04:02,116 --> 01:04:03,148
What?
763
01:04:03,243 --> 01:04:06,659
- I slept with Peter...
- I heard you.
764
01:04:06,746 --> 01:04:08,987
- I'm sorry.
- I need to hear everything.
765
01:04:09,081 --> 01:04:11,407
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. That's what I do.
766
01:04:11,500 --> 01:04:13,625
That's what I do.
I need to know everything.
767
01:04:13,712 --> 01:04:17,662
Where you were, what you, what he did,
how small his wiener was. Everything.
768
01:04:17,757 --> 01:04:21,755
- I was helping on an appraisal in Seattle...
- I don't wanna hear it!
769
01:04:24,598 --> 01:04:27,385
- You slept with that...
- It was a long time ago.
770
01:04:27,476 --> 01:04:28,804
- When?
- Before we...
771
01:04:28,894 --> 01:04:30,009
- Got married?
- Yes!
772
01:04:30,103 --> 01:04:31,135
- Engaged?
- Of course.
773
01:04:31,229 --> 01:04:34,978
- Got together?
- Yes... No, no.
774
01:04:35,066 --> 01:04:38,482
It was right after we met.
My parents were pressuring me to...
775
01:04:38,569 --> 01:04:42,152
Aha. Imagine my surprise.
776
01:04:44,492 --> 01:04:47,576
I was confused. I'm in Seattle.
777
01:04:47,662 --> 01:04:50,865
He asked me out to dinner.
The champagne is flowing...
778
01:04:50,957 --> 01:04:53,283
Please, try not to break into song.
779
01:04:53,710 --> 01:04:58,870
My feelings for you were very, very strong,
780
01:04:58,965 --> 01:05:01,374
and I needed to know that they were real.
781
01:05:01,468 --> 01:05:05,381
I wasn't brought up to manage
feelings like that very well.
782
01:05:05,471 --> 01:05:09,765
Yeah. You had a real tough upbringing.
783
01:05:13,061 --> 01:05:16,147
- I need some air.
- Yeah? Me too.
784
01:05:16,233 --> 01:05:19,019
Happy now? You broke it.
785
01:05:19,110 --> 01:05:21,400
By the way, Peter's staying at the hotel.
786
01:05:21,487 --> 01:05:23,610
That's funny!
787
01:05:29,412 --> 01:05:31,204
- Hooker!
- Murderer!
788
01:05:52,894 --> 01:05:56,060
- What's the score?
- 3-2, top of the ninth.
789
01:05:59,234 --> 01:06:02,069
Are you American?
790
01:06:02,154 --> 01:06:03,434
Good guess.
791
01:06:39,608 --> 01:06:41,600
Where's Tom?
792
01:06:41,693 --> 01:06:45,108
We don't feel the need to be
with each other all the time.
793
01:06:46,573 --> 01:06:48,149
OK.
794
01:06:50,910 --> 01:06:55,406
I just find it odd that
you're spending so much time apart
795
01:06:55,498 --> 01:06:57,575
on your honeymoon.
796
01:07:00,753 --> 01:07:02,877
Are you OK?
797
01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:06,630
Peter... just go, please.
798
01:07:08,011 --> 01:07:09,802
Go.
799
01:07:28,740 --> 01:07:31,230
Sarah, Sarah...
800
01:07:31,325 --> 01:07:34,909
- Why are you still here Peter?
- I'm not gonna leave you here like this.
801
01:07:37,582 --> 01:07:41,580
Listen, I have a car. I'm having
a quick drink at a friend's house.
802
01:07:41,669 --> 01:07:45,039
Just take a ride with me.
You know? Catch your breath.
803
01:07:45,132 --> 01:07:47,206
I'll take you back to Tom.
804
01:07:54,307 --> 01:07:56,881
- Champagne?
- Sure.
805
01:08:08,404 --> 01:08:10,860
And that's the ball game!
806
01:08:13,033 --> 01:08:15,822
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love this song!
807
01:08:15,912 --> 01:08:19,955
No, wait, I really shouldn't...
I can't... No, listen.
808
01:08:21,125 --> 01:08:25,074
Bernardo Salviati can actually
trace his family back to Machiavelli.
809
01:08:25,170 --> 01:08:26,416
Huh.
810
01:08:36,390 --> 01:08:40,340
Oh, wow. That's a big house.
811
01:08:40,436 --> 01:08:44,269
Nextron's thinking of buying it,
turn it into a resort complex.
812
01:08:56,869 --> 01:08:58,494
Buongiorno, Bernardo!
813
01:08:58,579 --> 01:09:00,370
Peter, hello.
814
01:09:00,456 --> 01:09:04,074
Good to see you.
Bernardo, Sarah McNerney.
815
01:09:04,168 --> 01:09:06,243
Ciao, Bernardo.
816
01:09:07,588 --> 01:09:10,957
Tell me, pretty one,
what brings you to Venice?
817
01:09:11,050 --> 01:09:13,089
Oh, I'm on my honeymoon.
818
01:09:13,177 --> 01:09:14,636
- Your honeymoon?
- Yeah.
819
01:09:14,721 --> 01:09:18,801
- She's so young to be married.
- Why does everyone keep on saying that?
820
01:09:19,434 --> 01:09:20,893
Where is your husband?
821
01:09:20,977 --> 01:09:26,564
Oh, I'm going to meet up with him...
you know, later.
822
01:09:27,650 --> 01:09:29,227
Yeah. Yeah.
823
01:09:29,318 --> 01:09:34,359
I was married for 27 years
before my wife passed away.
824
01:09:34,448 --> 01:09:38,945
Believe me, the first months
are the most difficult.
825
01:09:43,541 --> 01:09:46,245
Bernardo here's a little bit of a romantic.
826
01:09:48,713 --> 01:09:50,789
I love that.
827
01:09:51,549 --> 01:09:53,257
Let's have a drink.
828
01:09:54,009 --> 01:09:55,290
Please.
829
01:09:55,385 --> 01:09:59,133
You're on the radio? That's awesome!
830
01:10:00,724 --> 01:10:06,763
So, when are we gonna go back
to do the neenoo-neenoo-neenoo?
831
01:10:07,189 --> 01:10:10,355
Whoa, yeah. I can't do that.
832
01:10:10,442 --> 01:10:15,519
Don't tell me all the cute conversation
and air-humping is leading nowhere.
833
01:10:16,198 --> 01:10:19,366
No. Oh!
834
01:10:19,452 --> 01:10:24,612
OK, you mean when are we gonna...?
835
01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:27,078
Ah! OK.
836
01:10:27,167 --> 01:10:33,252
All right, so I'm gonna go and hit the...
and then we'II... do that thing.
837
01:10:33,340 --> 01:10:35,914
- Cool.
- OK.
838
01:10:36,010 --> 01:10:38,085
I'll be waiting!
839
01:10:53,402 --> 01:10:54,565
Whoa!
840
01:10:57,199 --> 01:10:59,949
And the hits just keep on comin'.
841
01:11:10,919 --> 01:11:14,704
Ciao. Can I get the key to 309, please?
842
01:11:14,798 --> 01:11:17,800
And do you know
if my wife's up in the room?
843
01:11:17,885 --> 01:11:21,051
A good husband knows
where his wife is at all time.
844
01:11:22,557 --> 01:11:26,720
And a good maitre d'
answers questions when he's asked.
845
01:11:32,942 --> 01:11:35,348
Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer.
846
01:11:36,403 --> 01:11:38,811
In this case, you should.
847
01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:53,412
Your wife is in a car on her way
to Salviati's... with Mr Prentiss.
848
01:11:54,129 --> 01:11:56,206
Mr Peter Prentiss?
849
01:11:59,218 --> 01:12:02,219
Of course. What's Salviati's?
850
01:12:02,304 --> 01:12:05,673
One of the oldest
and most beautiful estates in Venice.
851
01:12:05,765 --> 01:12:10,013
- Maybe Mr Peter will buy it.
- Of course Mr Peter will buy it.
852
01:12:10,104 --> 01:12:12,772
All right, where is this place?
853
01:12:17,527 --> 01:12:20,445
You can't go. You will be shot on sight.
854
01:12:20,531 --> 01:12:22,772
OK. That's...
855
01:12:22,867 --> 01:12:26,995
Uh, when are they coming back?
856
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:30,365
Your wife and Mr Peter
are out for the evening.
857
01:12:30,458 --> 01:12:32,415
You know what? Nah.
858
01:12:32,502 --> 01:12:37,744
I'm not gonna be waiting here
for her when she gets back.
859
01:12:37,839 --> 01:12:39,631
Oh, no!
860
01:12:43,595 --> 01:12:47,641
Precipitevolissimevolmente.
861
01:12:48,685 --> 01:12:51,222
I wanna say that word!
862
01:12:53,064 --> 01:12:55,139
- Alla tua salute.
- Salute.
863
01:12:55,983 --> 01:12:59,897
Sarah, Sarah. Sarah, maybe we
should switch to water, huh?
864
01:13:04,158 --> 01:13:06,483
I think we should go find Tom now.
865
01:13:12,916 --> 01:13:15,952
That was the longest freakin' piss
in Italian history.
866
01:13:16,044 --> 01:13:17,872
Hey, Wendy.
867
01:13:17,963 --> 01:13:22,043
Uh, I couldn't find you in the crowd.
868
01:13:24,053 --> 01:13:26,543
That's cool. You ready to go?
869
01:13:28,181 --> 01:13:30,804
Uh, yeah. Listen, um...
870
01:13:30,893 --> 01:13:35,271
Why don't I just walk you back
to your hotel and drop you off?
871
01:13:35,356 --> 01:13:37,432
That sounds like a plan.
872
01:13:37,525 --> 01:13:40,193
OK. Um, what hotel are you staying at?
873
01:13:40,277 --> 01:13:42,352
What hotel are you staying at?
874
01:13:43,530 --> 01:13:45,606
Uh, the Gianna.
875
01:13:45,699 --> 01:13:47,987
Oh, my God! Me too!
876
01:13:48,076 --> 01:13:50,828
Yay. Wow.
877
01:14:04,468 --> 01:14:05,879
Um...
878
01:14:06,762 --> 01:14:10,546
Oh, my God. This is like a Twilight Zone.
879
01:14:10,641 --> 01:14:12,716
I couldn't agree with you more.
880
01:14:25,447 --> 01:14:27,820
We're here.
881
01:14:29,700 --> 01:14:33,366
Damn, I don't have my key.
Can I use your phone?
882
01:14:33,455 --> 01:14:35,162
My... my phone?
883
01:14:35,248 --> 01:14:38,084
Yeah, to call downstairs. For my key.
884
01:14:41,004 --> 01:14:42,582
Yeah.
885
01:14:48,470 --> 01:14:52,253
Oh, oh, oh, oh, slow down there.
I think you got the wrong room.
886
01:14:56,728 --> 01:14:58,306
Oh, my!
887
01:15:00,232 --> 01:15:01,264
Oh, God.
888
01:15:01,358 --> 01:15:04,229
Insult me, radio man!
889
01:15:06,072 --> 01:15:08,396
I'm on my honeymoon.
890
01:15:09,658 --> 01:15:11,486
Ew.
891
01:15:11,577 --> 01:15:14,150
Yeah, ew.
892
01:15:14,830 --> 01:15:16,906
- I'm telling you...
- You pig!
893
01:15:38,145 --> 01:15:39,936
Grazie. Thank you.
894
01:15:41,649 --> 01:15:43,772
Grazie. Buonasera.
895
01:15:47,113 --> 01:15:49,400
What? What?
896
01:15:49,488 --> 01:15:51,362
- What?
- I can't take this any more.
897
01:15:55,161 --> 01:15:57,237
I'm on my honeymoon!
898
01:16:01,001 --> 01:16:04,500
Calm down. You were just doing
the same thing with Wendy.
899
01:16:04,588 --> 01:16:06,877
You have no right to be angry.
900
01:16:06,965 --> 01:16:09,539
- You slut!
- Excuse me?
901
01:16:09,635 --> 01:16:13,134
You had your tongue down his throat.
I saw it out the window!
902
01:16:13,847 --> 01:16:15,591
Did you see me slap him, then?
903
01:16:15,682 --> 01:16:17,806
Don't give me that.
904
01:16:17,893 --> 01:16:21,261
Some part of you wants him! Just say it!
905
01:16:21,354 --> 01:16:25,850
Fine. I'm not gonna lie any more.
906
01:16:25,942 --> 01:16:29,062
Certain things would be easier,
given his background.
907
01:16:29,153 --> 01:16:33,614
And a small part of me thought that
I wanted that once. A very small part.
908
01:16:37,662 --> 01:16:41,245
Why would you invite him
on our honeymoon?
909
01:16:41,333 --> 01:16:45,200
I didn't invite him.
I don't know how he found us.
910
01:16:45,295 --> 01:16:47,916
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it was magic.
911
01:16:48,006 --> 01:16:51,210
No, Peter must be a warlock.
912
01:16:55,972 --> 01:16:57,431
That's yours.
913
01:16:57,516 --> 01:17:01,727
Yeah, sure. It matches perfect
with my red leather panties!
914
01:17:03,604 --> 01:17:07,935
OK, I met a woman at a bar.
Nothing happened.
915
01:17:08,027 --> 01:17:12,439
You picked up a total stranger at a bar,
brought her back to our honeymoon suite,
916
01:17:12,530 --> 01:17:14,607
and took off her disgusting red bra?
917
01:17:14,699 --> 01:17:16,360
Nothing happened, I swear.
918
01:17:16,452 --> 01:17:20,117
No, the bra just jumped off
her bare naked breasts.
919
01:17:20,204 --> 01:17:21,486
Sarah...
920
01:17:21,582 --> 01:17:26,823
You sit there and make me feel guilty
for a kiss, a kiss that I didn't even want for the first place!
921
01:17:26,919 --> 01:17:29,624
Don't tell me you didn't want it!
922
01:17:30,464 --> 01:17:34,759
You wanted it! I could see from
the balcony that you wanted it!
923
01:17:37,055 --> 01:17:39,297
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
924
01:17:39,391 --> 01:17:41,513
Son of a biatch!
925
01:17:41,601 --> 01:17:44,306
- Oh, my skull is on fire!
- Oh, oh, oh, OK...
926
01:17:45,647 --> 01:17:47,806
- Who is it?
- Room service.
927
01:17:48,233 --> 01:17:51,649
Just... You just...
928
01:17:54,365 --> 01:17:56,441
- No, go away!
- Listen, I'm leaving.
929
01:17:56,533 --> 01:17:59,153
Last chance. Come with me to Seattle.
930
01:17:59,243 --> 01:18:02,659
Hello, Peter. So glad you could join us.
931
01:18:03,832 --> 01:18:06,952
Welcome to the honeymoon from hell,
shitheel!
932
01:18:07,044 --> 01:18:08,371
What are you doing, Tom?
933
01:18:08,461 --> 01:18:12,127
I think it's time for Peter and I to tangle!
934
01:18:12,216 --> 01:18:15,631
- See? You have no future with this lunatic!
- Shut up!
935
01:18:15,719 --> 01:18:17,379
Tom, you're acting a little crazy!
936
01:18:17,471 --> 01:18:22,382
Maybe it's cos I just got hit in the head
with a ten-pound ashtray!
937
01:18:22,935 --> 01:18:27,811
I gotta warn you, Leezak. I studied
karate with a Chinese grandmaster.
938
01:18:27,898 --> 01:18:32,559
Yeah? Well, I hope he showed you
how to pull a fire poker out of your ass!
939
01:18:32,652 --> 01:18:34,728
Tom, put the poker down.
940
01:18:38,617 --> 01:18:41,487
Fredo, call the police!
941
01:18:41,578 --> 01:18:42,609
Polizia!
942
01:18:42,704 --> 01:18:44,910
Move, move, move!
943
01:18:50,962 --> 01:18:53,833
You sat at our wedding!
944
01:18:53,924 --> 01:18:56,675
You heard us take our vows.
945
01:18:56,759 --> 01:19:02,098
And you still had the nerve
to show up on our honeymoon
946
01:19:02,181 --> 01:19:04,851
and try to have sex with my wife!
947
01:19:10,981 --> 01:19:12,227
Run, you coward!
948
01:19:12,317 --> 01:19:14,393
You stay away from my wife!
949
01:19:17,030 --> 01:19:18,571
I didn't...
950
01:19:18,656 --> 01:19:22,903
- Please, stop! That's my husband!
- Signorina, si calmi.
951
01:19:32,128 --> 01:19:34,536
- Maybe they were right.
- Who?
952
01:19:37,092 --> 01:19:41,670
Everyone. They said that
we were too young,
953
01:19:42,472 --> 01:19:45,806
and that we needed to get
to know each other better.
954
01:19:48,311 --> 01:19:50,470
Maybe they were right.
955
01:19:51,689 --> 01:19:53,481
Maybe love isn't enough.
956
01:19:56,569 --> 01:20:00,519
Peter Prentiss vi ha pagato la cauzione.
957
01:20:00,615 --> 01:20:01,730
What did he say?
958
01:20:01,825 --> 01:20:04,066
Peter just bailed us out.
959
01:20:06,036 --> 01:20:08,409
Well, that's just jim-dandy.
960
01:20:10,040 --> 01:20:11,998
Forget it.
961
01:20:12,084 --> 01:20:14,244
- I'm going home.
- Yeah, me too!
962
01:20:17,757 --> 01:20:20,128
Passports, please.
963
01:20:20,217 --> 01:20:24,715
Are you leaving with any fruit,
vegetables or currency in excess of $10,000?
964
01:20:24,807 --> 01:20:29,966
No. No, but my husband does have
two pounds of hash hidden in his rectum.
965
01:20:41,571 --> 01:20:47,610
The first sex I had on my honeymoon
was with a man named Santino.
966
01:20:48,830 --> 01:20:50,739
And you're laughing?
967
01:20:52,291 --> 01:20:55,458
Excuse me, stewardess. Can I...?
968
01:20:57,088 --> 01:21:00,920
Uh, can I get one of those, uh...
969
01:21:01,009 --> 01:21:03,714
doughnut pillows?
970
01:21:04,345 --> 01:21:06,422
Yeah, right away.
971
01:21:09,058 --> 01:21:11,596
Sweet girl.
972
01:21:14,313 --> 01:21:16,555
Excuse me. Sorry.
973
01:21:16,649 --> 01:21:18,024
Argh!
974
01:21:32,290 --> 01:21:34,995
I feel like we've been married for 50 years.
975
01:21:35,084 --> 01:21:37,208
Oh, you should be so lucky.
976
01:21:40,215 --> 01:21:45,172
- Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel.
- Tell me what really happened with Red Bra.
977
01:21:46,094 --> 01:21:48,847
What? What? What are you looking at?
978
01:21:48,932 --> 01:21:52,929
- I hope you used a rubber.
- No, I didn't! It didn't get that far.
979
01:21:53,018 --> 01:21:55,770
- I hope Peter used one though.
- They don't sell condoms that big.
980
01:21:55,855 --> 01:21:58,227
Ha, ha, ha!
981
01:21:58,316 --> 01:22:01,685
That's funny. You hear that?
We got a comedian on the plane.
982
01:22:01,777 --> 01:22:04,268
- You want me to make you laugh?
- Yeah.
983
01:22:04,364 --> 01:22:07,033
You think I'm reall funny I'm moving out when I get home.
How funny is that?
984
01:22:07,116 --> 01:22:09,572
- Great!
- The second we get home.
985
01:22:09,661 --> 01:22:11,487
- I'm done talking now.
- Me too.
986
01:22:14,164 --> 01:22:16,951
And that was it. Game over.
987
01:22:29,389 --> 01:22:31,761
- What's up?
- She came back to the apartment.
988
01:22:31,850 --> 01:22:33,888
- Is she there now?
- No, she left.
989
01:22:34,602 --> 01:22:37,390
- Did she say anything?
- She took all her stuff.
990
01:22:38,188 --> 01:22:40,265
That can't be good.
991
01:22:41,568 --> 01:22:43,856
Oh, and she left you this.
992
01:22:44,237 --> 01:22:45,814
What's that?
993
01:22:50,617 --> 01:22:52,076
Beer?
994
01:22:52,786 --> 01:22:58,954
Come on, man. You're getting divorced.
Breakfast beer is a must.
995
01:23:01,003 --> 01:23:04,123
- I need to talk to my dad. Give me a lift?
- Sure.
996
01:23:08,136 --> 01:23:11,256
Gonna tell me
what you're chewing on?
997
01:23:13,391 --> 01:23:15,882
I just don't know if love is enough any more.
998
01:23:15,977 --> 01:23:18,847
What do you mean, "enough"?
999
01:23:18,937 --> 01:23:23,813
I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other,
1000
01:23:25,069 --> 01:23:28,403
maybe we did need more time
to get to know each other.
1001
01:23:31,783 --> 01:23:36,944
So... what you're saying here is
1002
01:23:37,039 --> 01:23:41,785
you had a couple of bad days in Europe,
and it's over.
1003
01:23:43,963 --> 01:23:46,086
Time to grow up, Tommy.
1004
01:23:47,800 --> 01:23:52,461
Some days your mother and me loved each
other. Other days we had to work at it.
1005
01:23:53,514 --> 01:23:56,515
You never see the hard days
in a photo album.
1006
01:23:57,226 --> 01:24:01,889
But those are the ones that get you
from one happy snapshot to the next.
1007
01:24:03,857 --> 01:24:09,730
I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's
what you got dealt. Now you gonna work through it.
1008
01:24:11,240 --> 01:24:16,068
Sarah doesn't need a guy with
a fat wallet to make her happy.
1009
01:24:16,161 --> 01:24:21,453
I saw how you love this girl.
How you two lit each other up.
1010
01:24:23,544 --> 01:24:26,497
She doesn't need any more security than that.
1011
01:24:31,635 --> 01:24:32,963
Thanks, Dad.
1012
01:24:34,346 --> 01:24:36,422
Is it over?
1013
01:24:38,267 --> 01:24:40,259
Not even close.
1014
01:24:46,817 --> 01:24:50,187
What you do here, Tom Leezak?
You no allowed here no more.
1015
01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:52,071
Open the gates, jack-in-the-box.
1016
01:24:52,156 --> 01:24:55,903
Me no jack-in-box! You jack-in-box!
Go away now!
1017
01:24:55,992 --> 01:24:58,662
Don't make me break my foot off in your ass.
1018
01:24:58,746 --> 01:25:01,283
Look, Yuan, I just need to talk to her.
1019
01:25:01,372 --> 01:25:04,374
Relationship over. She no like you any more.
1020
01:25:04,460 --> 01:25:07,377
- Open the goddamn gate!
- Shut up, Kyle!
1021
01:25:07,463 --> 01:25:10,583
Look, Yuan, did she actually
say those words to you?
1022
01:25:10,675 --> 01:25:14,090
She say you have KiKi with bimbo.
Same thing.
1023
01:25:15,388 --> 01:25:17,795
We are not leaving this intercom.
1024
01:25:17,890 --> 01:25:22,303
until Sarah herself confirms
that she is shitcanning Tom!
1025
01:25:23,562 --> 01:25:24,641
We're not.
1026
01:25:24,730 --> 01:25:30,234
All right, that is damn straight!
This is my wife! Now open up the gate!
1027
01:25:30,319 --> 01:25:32,608
Can't we give the guy a chance to explain?
1028
01:25:32,696 --> 01:25:34,736
Don't even think about it, Dickie.
1029
01:25:35,323 --> 01:25:38,988
Here's the deal either you're gonna open the gate,
or I'm gonna open the gate.
1030
01:25:39,077 --> 01:25:40,620
Either way, I'm coming in!
1031
01:25:41,538 --> 01:25:46,247
- We'll sic the hounds on you, Leezak!
- Bring 'em on, Willie!
1032
01:25:58,807 --> 01:25:59,836
What's going on?
1033
01:25:59,931 --> 01:26:03,431
You leave me no choice!
I'm gonna have to ram the gate!
1034
01:26:03,519 --> 01:26:05,677
Oh, I am so down with that!
1035
01:26:08,398 --> 01:26:10,272
- What we do now?
- Call the cops.
1036
01:26:11,944 --> 01:26:14,020
We call SWAT team on your ass!
1037
01:26:14,447 --> 01:26:20,484
I'm ramming the gate! I don't know if you're
hearing, but I am going to ram your gate!
1038
01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:25,452
- What is the commotion in here?
- Tom ram gate.
1039
01:26:32,380 --> 01:26:34,124
What the hell is this?
1040
01:26:34,550 --> 01:26:36,837
It's go time.
1041
01:26:54,570 --> 01:26:56,314
That is one strong gate.
1042
01:27:00,410 --> 01:27:01,441
Tom?
1043
01:27:16,258 --> 01:27:22,131
Look, Yuan, Willie,
whoever else is listening...
1044
01:27:22,223 --> 01:27:27,098
You don't want me to be with Sarah,
and I can't change that.
1045
01:27:27,186 --> 01:27:33,141
I don't know where we're gonna be
in ten, 20, 40 years.
1046
01:27:33,233 --> 01:27:35,226
I don't know who we're gonna be.
1047
01:27:35,319 --> 01:27:39,317
I don't know if I'm ever gonna
be able to give her all of this.
1048
01:27:40,448 --> 01:27:44,577
There are a million things that I don't know.
1049
01:27:45,204 --> 01:27:48,039
But there's one thing that I do.
1050
01:27:48,123 --> 01:27:51,123
And that's that I love Sarah.
1051
01:27:51,209 --> 01:27:55,754
And I am going to love her
day in and day out
1052
01:27:55,839 --> 01:27:58,128
for the rest of my life.
1053
01:28:00,219 --> 01:28:02,507
Now, will you please...
1054
01:28:03,597 --> 01:28:05,673
please...
1055
01:28:07,059 --> 01:28:11,138
open the gate so I can tell that to my wife.
1056
01:28:35,671 --> 01:28:38,162
I'm sorry, man.
1057
01:28:38,882 --> 01:28:43,461
Sometimes when it's over, it's just... over.
1058
01:29:05,158 --> 01:29:08,860
Drop the love bomb, baby! Yeah!
1059
01:29:14,751 --> 01:29:16,542
Now do you get it?
1060
01:29:19,131 --> 01:29:21,372
I love him, Daddy.
1061
01:29:22,717 --> 01:29:24,840
Then go get him.
1062
01:29:55,250 --> 01:29:57,409
- Hi.
- Hi.
1063
01:30:00,714 --> 01:30:02,956
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
1064
01:30:04,676 --> 01:30:07,215
I miss you.
1065
01:30:07,304 --> 01:30:09,795
I miss you, too.
1066
01:30:10,432 --> 01:30:13,802
I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms
with you.
1067
01:30:13,894 --> 01:30:16,466
I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball.
1068
01:30:18,398 --> 01:30:21,482
And torching hotels in Europe.
1069
01:30:23,445 --> 01:30:27,525
I miss doing time in prison with you.
1070
01:30:38,001 --> 01:30:40,918
- Do you wanna try to...?
- Definitely.
82317
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