All language subtitles for Black ish - 6x14 - Episode 14.HDTV.KILLERS.en

Kids.

Tiny, fragile, needy.

But they are still capable
of amazing things.

Alexander the Great was a
military leader at age 20.

At 16, Greta Thunberg inspired millions

to fight climate change.

She even sailed across the
ocean to prove her point.

Louis Braille was 15 when he
invented his reading system.

15. And blind!

Jack and Diane are Johnsons,
so I can't wait to see

how they're going to shake up the world.

Will you guys take us to the
artisanal ice cream place

- on Ventura?
- Mm-hmm.

They read your aura and
give you your flavor based

- on the color of your soul.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, that's cute.
- Okay, guys, we have to go through these bills.

You know what? But here.

Here, take that 20.

- Here.
- Go on your own.

Uh, pass.

I thought you wanted ice cream?

Not bad enough to go by ourselves.

Come on, Diane.
Let's just get some fruit.

Thanks a lot.

Alexander the Great conquered the world.

These two won't even conquer the block.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

Hey, hey, hey. Hang on.

Just because someone won't give
you a ride, you're not gonna go?

You said it's on Ventura.
W... Just walk.

Uh, that strip mall's not
fully gentrified yet.

W...

It's anchored by a liquor store.

That liquor store has a Michelin star.

You'll be fine.

I don't know.

- Anything could happen.
- Yes.

Anything could happen,

and if you go with me, you know
exactly what's gonna happen.

We're gonna listen to
Jodeci's first album.

Huh? I'm gonna say,
"What's taking so long?"

And then I'm gonna get mad

because they have a tip jar at
a self-serve ice cream place.

Listen, if you want to
have fun, you should go.

By yourselves.

We're in range for dinner.

- We'll just call it.
- Peace.

What the hell just happened?

Where is their sense of adventure?

Seriously.

When I was around their
age, me and Sha...

we went to the recycle factory.

Ooh, recycle factory.

Okay, that's not the
point of the story, Bow.

- Oh.
- All right? We were crossing the street,

and as I stepped off the curb,

I noticed my foot was on something.

I look down, and it was tickets
to the Clippers' first game

- in Los Angeles.
- No.

Floor seats.

That sounds like a dream sequence

that was cut out of "Boyz n the Hood."

Yeah, it took us two buses to
get to the LA Sports Arena.

- Oh.
- We sat next to Donald Sterling.

- Ew.
- He did not like that.

- No.
- But the Clippers... they won that night.

And in that moment,
I became a Clipper fan.

None of that would have
been possible, Bow,

if I was not out there.

Is this why you're so upset
that Jack is a Lakers fan?

- Now, that is a betrayal, Bow.
- Uh-huh.

It makes no sense to just root
for whatever team LeBron is on.

I wish that our kids had more
of a sense of adventure, too,

but you can't force it.

But it needs to happen now,
Bow, because if it doesn't,

they're gonna miss out on
the fun of finding shortcuts

through people's yards or... or
exploring abandoned buildings.

- What?
- Or playing touch football

- on the on-ramp to the 105 freeway.
- You're...

Those are all crimes.

You didn't grow up in Compton, Bow.

As much as I tried to let it go,

I couldn't shake the feeling

that Jack and Diane were
missing out on something

that was critical to my childhood.

Gentlemen, Stevens and
Lido is now a church,

and if anyone asks,

you are all men of the cloth
and I don't pay any taxes.

Worked for Kanye.

Whoa, uh, Deacon Johnson, hello?

Yeah, I would have thought
you'd be more into this.

Oh, sorry. I was...

I was just thinking about Jack and Diane

refusing to go outside
into the neighborhood

in the middle of the day.

Is Sherman Oaks no longer a
safe White neighborhood,

or have more, uh... "apartment
people" moved in there?

Nah, it's perfectly safe.

Kids just aren't built the same anymore.

It's the milk.

We had that good '80s steroids milk.

- Mm.
- Kind that made you want

to fight your mama when
you ran out of cereal.

It wasn't the same for Zoey and Junior.

You know, but Jack and
Diane have grown up

with all these gadgets and
apps at their fingertips.

They basically never
have to leave the house.

Smart phones make dumb kids.

Boy, there is nothing
like a good adventure.

When I was a young lad, I once
got lost in the woods for days.

Had to go house-to-house,
surviving on nothing

but my wits and the
kindness of strangers.

Kind of like, uh,
trick-or-treating, but to live.

God, that must have been so scary.

Oh, it was.

Turns out, I never left
my family's property

and everyone I met worked
for us, but eventually,

I ran into my driver, Tomathy,

and he popped me in the back of the limo

and took me back to the big house. So...

That's nothing. When I was
growing up as a kid in Missouri,

me and my best friend, we built a raft,

and we went all the way
down the Mississippi River,

having all kinds of adventures.

That's just what happened in
"Huckleberry Finn," Charlie.

- Mm.
- This is ridiculous, Dre.

Your entitled children are
abusing your kindness.

Oh, i-it's a dangerous world, man,

and Jack and Diane are
not free-range kids.

Okay, now I see what's happening, Dre.

This is all your fault.

You have domesticated your children.

Oh, my God.

You're right.

Yeah.

They might as well be wearing
those little shock collars

that you put on barking
dogs and carnival workers.

You know what? I got to
go fix this right now.

Wait, what about our happy hour?

If you don't come, it'll be a sad hour,

and I've got enough of
those, thank you very much.

I'm pretty sure you can
find another sucker

who has nothing else better to do.

So, she's 28, blonde,
a lawyer from Ukraine.

I think it's gonna work out.

All right, next round's on me.
You guys want anything?

- I'm good.
- Good one, man!

I mean, you're hilarious,
handsome, generous.

I mean, you're just the
total package, huh?

- But I'm good. Thanks, anyway.
- You sure?

- Yeah, yeah.
- You sure? All right. All right, all right.

What was that?

It's employee review time,

and I'm putting all my
money moves on Josh.

Sometimes you got to kiss the
ring in order to get that bling.

You know what I'm talking about?

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Even less than usual.

I thought Stevens does all the reviews?

No. Everyone knows Stevens
makes Josh do the reviews.

Josh is thirsty for friendship,

and I am thirsty to get out
of this crippling debt.

One time I went with him to
a Laguna Beach cat show.

Got a five-finger bonus.

I think you mean "figure."

I do not.

You could have used that
money to pay down your debt.

You don't understand how
finances work, brother.

You got to suck up to him, Junior.

Talk about his interests...

cats, poker, cats playing
poker, poking cats.

That's how you get that bonus.

Hey-o!

Hey, Josh, I hear you're
amazing at poker.

I'd love to play sometime.

What?! I got a game this Saturday!

- You should come play!
- Mm. Saturday.

I actually got a date on Saturday.

Bring her.

Date night playing poker
is so much fun, man.

We'll probably go all night,
and there's like four guys.

They're kind of a good
consistent rotation.

It's all the guys that I met online.

You know, I think I can reschedule.

That's great. That's great!

Hey, as Lady Gaga would
say, bring your poker face.

It was late when I got
home, and I knew exactly

where my unadventurous
children would be.

Jack! Sleep is for the weak!

- You're going to get some ice cream.
- No, run! Run, Jack!

W-What's going on? It's 10:45.

Which means your ass has 15 minutes

to get to Sprinkle Sprankles.

Come on! Hurry up!

- Let's go!
- I hate when Mom's on call.

Dad, this is ridiculous.

It's dark outside.

Yeah, this is when adventures happen.

Now, go out there and grab
yourself a double scoop of life.

Ooh! Oh, lord, it's a ghetto bird.

Okay, uh, black-owned!

Black-owned!

Once the sun came up,
it was time to set my kids free.

Okay, there are only certain things

that you can truly understand
until you experience them.

Have you guys ever been in a sewer?

I have. It was 1986.

Our ball rolled into a storm drain,

and we climbed in after it.

You know what we saw?

- Garbage?
- Yes.

And a tunnel.

The tunnel only went across the
street, but while we were in it,

it could have went anywhere.

Uh, Mom, talk to your man.

Yeah.

Your dad is on one right now.

But, you guys, it wouldn't kill
you to go out into the world

and develop a sense of curiosity.

Put yourself in situations where you
don't know what's gonna happen.

Yes.

You need to get out on,
and up under, these streets.

You know what? Here.

Here. Here's a hundred dollars.

- W...
- Hey.

Put most of it in your shoe.

Keep $15 in your pocket.

That's your "mugging money."

We're gonna get mugged?

- Ooh, if you're lucky.
- You won't.

You're more likely to
get mauled by a dog.

You're not gonna get
mauled by a dog, either.

Look, go out and have some fun.

Seriously, get some lunch, and
don't come back for three hours.

Okay, but are you sure
you want to do this?

I might get a taste of freedom
and never give it back.

- I'm good.
- Did he just call my bluff?

We're out of moves.

You are definitely out of moves.

Hey, now, while you're out
there, I need you to stop

at the liquor store and pick me up

- a package of triple-A batteries.
- Oh.

It's refresh season on the remote.

Also, got a sweater
at the dry cleaner's.

- Could you pick that up for me?
- You hear that?

Your mama got a sweater
at the dry cleaner's.

- Yeah, I just said that.
- Yeah,

I just wanted to make sure
they heard you, baby.

Okay. All right.

Hey, there he is!

Yeah.

Surprised that you have
your weekend poker game

at the office.

- Where's everybody else?
- Uh...

bunch of "maybe"s
turned into "hard no"s.

They could always turn back.

And until then, we can play heads up.

That's how poker guys say "two players."

Uh, great.

Deal me in.

Hey, that's the attitude
I was looking for.

- Yes, sir.
- Okay.

It's a $200 buy-in.

Oh! Gosh.

I-I didn't bring that kind of cash.

Funny. At work, you always struck me

as somebody who's always prepared.

Guess I had the wrong read on you.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

You had the right read on me.

I am an out-of-the-box problem solver.

How about I Venmo you the cash?

I like the sound of it.

Now let's do this.

Do it.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

So, this is what they wanted?

For me to try falafel?

Because if they think fried
chickpeas is an adventure,

then I reject their
authority to parent me.

Ugh.

What are we gonna do
for the next two hours?

I don't know, but we've got
to come back with a story.

Maybe falafel's the story.

I'll just tell them I put
too much hot sauce on it

and it got in my eyes.

- Oof. Classic Jack.
- What?

We need a real adventure,

not just some run-of-the-mill
Jack shenanigans.

We need something big.

You know what?

If they want a stupid adventure,
we're gonna give them one.

We'll just ride the bus
wherever it's going.

- That'll show 'em.
- Mm.

Great idea.

"Out of Service,"
California, here we come.

Classic Jack.

I fold. You got me again.

You folded a pair of queens.

That's top pair.

You should have at least called.

Oh, that is a great tip.

You will never have to
tell me that one again

because I am someone who
learns from his mistakes.

Love that about you.

I'm gonna go grab us some drinks.

You're a diet soda,
five Splendas, right?

You know my drink.

Pow, pow!

Yes, sir.

Charlie?

What are you doing here?

It's Saturday.

So I'm cooking grits.

I like to make them here in the office

because they have a bunch of
stuff that I don't have at home,

like electricity.

I...

So, I see you took my advice,

kissing that ass to get that bonus.

Okay, I really don't like the
way that you just phrased that.

I don't know how you do this every year.

I could barely make it
through the morning.

Stop making a big deal
out of this, all right?

Stop treating these
misdemeanors like felonies.

Go in there, make that
lonely white man happy,

and get your money, you hear me?

Now, get out of here.

You're taking up my stir time.

Oh.

What do you say? A couple more hands?

Eh, I don't know.

I mean, you really cleaned me out.

Oh. Well, if it makes
you feel any better,

the money's going to a good cause.

I always donate my
winnings to this charity

that helps declawed cats get reclawed.

You should really come down
and volunteer sometime.

- I don't know.
- Hey, hey, hey.

It's only every weekend for four months.

I really don't have that kind of time.

You got that kind of time.

Look, dude, I see what you're
trying to do here, okay?

No review is worth all of this.

I am done trying to kowtow

to all of your pathetic little needs

just because no one shows
up to your poker game.

- I would rather be...
- Yo, sorry we're late.

- Hey, bud.
- How are you?

Good. Good to see you.

Who are these guys?

I guess according to you,

these are the poker buddies
who fulfill my pathetic needs.

Hey, guys.

It was an hour and a half
into my kids' adventure.

They were out there
experiencing the world

because of my good
parenting, and I was pumped.

I can't sit still, Bow.

- Yeah, I know.
- Come on.

Hah! Wrestle me.

I already beat you twice, and in heels.

I love it when you wrestle me in heels.

- Oh, God. Stop it.
- Especially when you put it in my back.

- Aah!
- Okay.

But we got to do it
quick, baby, all right?

The twins, uh... they could
be back at any moment now.

- Come on.
- Nope.

They haven't even made
it to the cleaner's yet.

How do you know that?

Oh.

Are you tracking them?

Of course I am, Andre.

There's no privacy under this roof.

If I can track you, I'm gonna track you.

Are you tracking me?

No, baby, you're too smart
for me to track you.

Oh.

- I trust our kids.
- Yeah.

We raised them well.

It's everybody else I worry about.

- Me, too.
- You know what I mean?

I just find it comforting
knowing exactly where they are.

Wait, why are they in Van Nuys?

- How did they get to Van Nuys?
- Is that thing broken?

No, Dre, because that dot's
still over the house.

What?

- You are tracking me!
- Dre, not now.

Our kids are two blocks
from a ho stroll.

Wait, why is it moving so fast?

- Oh, God.
- Okay, babe, what...

Where did the dots go?

Um, sometimes that happens
when the battery's low.

So, we don't know where
they are right now?

No, not exactly.

No. But, but, but, but, but, but, but...

our children are on an
adventure in Los Angeles.

- Okay.
- And that's that we wanted.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

That... That... That... That's
exactly what we asked for.

- Yep. That's it.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay. So, everything is okay as
long as they're home by 5:00.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Right. Right.
- And at 5:01, we call the police.

4:59, and the fire department.

- Okay. All right.
- Yes.

Whenever we do find these kids, uh,

I'm going to Best Buy
and get me a new phone.

- Tracking me.
- Okay. What...

My kids were off God knows
where having an adventure.

Since there was nothing
I could do about it,

I went about my business.

But Bow was still out
here stone-cold tripping.

Okay, call me back.

Listen, I'm not worried, sweetheart.

I just want to know if the dry cleaner's

still has that autographed
picture up on the wall

of Robert Guillaume.

Okay. Yeah.

Call me back. Okay.

- Okay, Bow?
- What?

All right, a few minutes ago,
you told me if their phone's dead,

they're not gonna answer.

- So, just relax like me.
- Okay.

All right, I don't need to know

about things that I can't control.

Like, I don't need to know who shot JFK.

I don't need to know
if there are aliens in Area 51.

And I do not need to know
where our children are.

Then why do you keep
checking the laptop?

Because I don't know

- where my children are, Bow!
- Exactly.

All right, everything was fine
until I knew what was going on.

If you weren't tracking them,
I would be left in the dark,

like parents are supposed to be.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Are you blaming this on me?

Because you are the one
who forced our kids

out of the house on an adventure!

They were first-timers.

I sent them on a local adventure.

Mm. No.

- You know what, Dre?
- What?

Maybe their phones aren't dead.

Maybe they are just
underground in the sewer,

where you told them to go!

- We're home.
- Oh, my babies!

Oh, my babies! Babies, I love you!

Now, where the hell were you?!

Uh, what do you mean? We're back early.

You guys didn't stick to the plan.

You were supposed to have lunch,

pick up my sweater,

- and come right home!
- Mm-hmm.

Wait, we were?

- Yeah.
- Were you tracking us?

Well, apparently, your
mama is tracking everybody

- that lives in this house.
- I can't believe you guys.

This was your idea. We didn't
want to do any of this.

Sorry.

We... We freaked out.
We were... We just...

- But we're so glad we went.
- Mm.

- What?
- Okay, so you'll never believe this.

We got on the bus, went
all the way to Hollywood,

and we got off right in
front of the wax museum.

Because we wanted to take
pictures with wax T-Pain.

Mm-hmm. And guess who we saw there.

- Who?
- Real T-Pain.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

He was going to a movie
premiere right up the street.

He let us walk on the
red carpet with him,

- and he also gave me this.
- What?

- Oh.
- He told me to tuck it in on the bus.

Yeah. And if you hadn't
kicked us out of the house,

none of this ever would have happened.

- This was one of the best days ever.
- Yeah.

Can we have another adventure tomorrow?

- Uh...
- Knock yourselves out.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

- Great.
- Well, we only have to take

five different buses
to get to the beach.

Which basically means

- we live at the beach now.
- Mm.

- Oh.
- Thank... Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- All right.
- I like it.

Huh.

- They're a lot more confident now.
- Mm-hmm.

There it was.

The independent kids I'd always wanted.

So why was I scared?

Were you bluffing,
or did you have a straight?

I'm not gonna tell.

Hey, Josh.

I'm sorry.

I messed up.

Charlie really got in my
head with all that talk

about sucking up to you so
he can get a good review,

- and I couldn't...
- Wait, wait, wait.

Is that why Charlie's
always bringing me gifts?

He told me he celebrates
year-round Kwanzaa.

Yeah, that's not a thing.

I mean, regular Kwanzaa's
barely a thing.

I always thought that, but
never felt like I could say it.

That's probably a good idea.

Look, Charlie is shockingly
good at his job.

That's why Stevens lets him come in

on the weekends to cook his grits,

and that's why I give him a good review.

And that's why I'm gonna
do the same thing for you.

'Cause you're great at your job, Junior.

Wow. Um... I don't know what to say.

Thanks.

Eh, you don't need to thank me. And...

maybe I did come on too strong.

I'm just not used to having
someone at the office

who returns my texts.

Ah, come on, man.

You send the best emojis.

Aw, thank you.

Once I figured out how to change
the race on the thumbs up,

I knew I was onto something.

Ah. That's why you send black emojis.

You know...

I've been telling that Clipper
tickets story for years.

By putting myself out in the
world, I exposed myself

to some things that I never
would have seen otherwise.

Yeah. That's what we
want for our children.

Yeah, but in all these years,

I never saw it from my
mother's point of view.

Mm. Interesting.

You know...

it's no fun thinking about
your kids playing in a sewer.

- No. No.
- Or packing themselves seven-deep

in a Pontiac Bonneville for a joyride.

Seems so dangerous.

That's because it is dangerous, Dre.

But... you were a dumb kid.

- Mm.
- You did stupid stuff.

- I did.
- But thankfully,

our twins are smarter than you,

so the hard part is us
allowing them the freedom

to make their own mistakes.

Like your mom did when
you went to the game.

You know, I was gone
for 11 hours that day.

Ugh. She must have been terrified.

Had she known where I was,
she would have never let me go.

Ha! She would have whooped your ass.

Yeah, she sure would.

You're not gonna tell her, are you?

Good night, sweetie.

Hey...

Bow, I'm serious.

My mama... she punches hard, Bow!

- Yep.
- I...

- Come on, baby.
- Nope.

Okay, you guys can go out every weekend,

if that's what you choose to.

But you've got to stick together.

That's great.

Where should we go?

Ooh, uh, what about that pizza place?

The one with the square slices
and, uh, the meatballs.

- Ooh, I love that place.
- Yeah.

Wait, why did we stop going?

- I don't know.
- There might be an issue.

- What?
- I went there late one night,

and they were out of Parmesan, so...

- I'm banned.
- Seriously?

- Should have known.
- What?

Picture on the wall and everything.

- Hold on.
- Hmm?

Is that why we don't go to the day spa?

Refused to take off my shirt.

Farmer's market?

Apparently, I over-sample.

- Uh-huh.
- What?

You can go to all those
places without me.

I'm going to!

- You should.
- Your dad is a dummy.

And take my picture off the
pizza wall when you get there.

- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --