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00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:29,639
[Man On Radio]
There's a tornado watch
for a portion of West Texas.
2
00:00:29,713 --> 00:00:32,615
Brian Chadwick is with
the county sheriff's office
in Sweetwater.
3
00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:35,346
[Chadwick] We're trying
to get the word out to the
community to brace themselves.
4
00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:38,787
We hope this thing's
not gonna develop
into a real funnel...
5
00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:41,222
but after Saragosa,
we're not taking
any chances.
6
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,420
[Man] The National Weather
Service says the storm
is moving northeast...
7
00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:48,454
and with the exception of
some rain, it shouldn't affect
the Dallas-Fort Worth area.
8
00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:53,402
That's news, sports and
weather. I'm Frank Castle
for KGAB talk radio news.
9
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,837
♪♪ [Blues Rock]
10
00:00:57,374 --> 00:01:00,173
[Male Announcer]
From the heart of
the Lone Star state,
11
00:01:00,243 --> 00:01:03,475
it's time for Dallas'
most popular talk show,
12
00:01:03,547 --> 00:01:06,915
Night Talk
with Barry Champlaign.
13
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,953
♪ Bad to the bone ♪
14
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:12,387
The KGAB phone lines are open
and ready for your call...
15
00:01:12,456 --> 00:01:15,051
at 555-TALK.
16
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:18,721
And now your host
for Night Talk,
Barry Champlaign.
17
00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:21,731
- ♪♪ [Ends]
- [Barry] The worst news
of the night is that...
18
00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:26,168
three of four people say
they'd rather watch TV than
have sex with their spouse.
19
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:29,536
The second worst news is
that some kids needed money
for crack last night,
20
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:33,008
so they stuck a knife
in the throat of an
80-year-old grandmother...
21
00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,238
down on Euclid Avenue
right here in Dallas.
22
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:38,146
One night
in one American city.
23
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,684
Multiply that
by hundreds of cities
and what have you got?
24
00:01:40,751 --> 00:01:43,687
A country where culture means
pornography and slasher films;
25
00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:46,815
where ethics means payoffs,
graft, insider trading;
26
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:50,088
where integrity means lying,
whoring and intoxication.
27
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,755
This country is
in deep trouble, people.
28
00:01:52,829 --> 00:01:56,425
This country is rotten
to the core and somebody
better do something about it.
29
00:01:56,500 --> 00:02:01,336
Take your hand out of that
bowl of Fritos, throw away
your National Enquirer,
30
00:02:01,405 --> 00:02:04,307
and pick up the phone,
hold it up to your face...
31
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,673
and dial 555-TALK.
32
00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:10,236
Open your mouth and tell me
what we're gonna do about
the mess this country's in.
33
00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:13,112
Talk radio-- it's the last
neighborhood in town.
34
00:02:13,183 --> 00:02:15,118
People don't talk
to each other anymore.
35
00:02:15,185 --> 00:02:17,279
Let's go to
the first caller.
36
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,654
A lot of problems with the
country today have a lot do...
[Indistinct]
37
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:24,718
- with the continued exploitation
of the third world countries.
- [Barry Blows Raspberry]
38
00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:28,527
[Barry] Wait. Third world
countries? Where'd you learn
that phrase, in college?
39
00:02:28,598 --> 00:02:31,500
Do you know what it means?
You're getting
off the track.
40
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,696
We're not getting off the track,
we're getting on.
41
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:36,706
Josh, go back to college.
When you graduate,
give me a call.
42
00:02:36,773 --> 00:02:39,004
A prime example of that
uniquely American institution:
43
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,011
the concerned
bleeding-heart liberal...
44
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,741
looking for people with
problems he can call his own.
45
00:02:43,814 --> 00:02:46,283
Francine in Oakline.
[Francine]
I'm a transvestite.
46
00:02:46,349 --> 00:02:48,580
I'm trying to save money
for an operation--
47
00:02:48,652 --> 00:02:53,420
What interest do you think
your adventures in surgery
hold for my listeners?
48
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:56,426
It's something
I have to talk about.
I don't. Night Talk.
49
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:59,827
Let me put you on hold.
You slip some testosterone
into Barry's coffee?
50
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:02,127
The guy's possessed tonight.
He's a little tense.
51
00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:05,533
[Chattering]
[Barry]
Get outta here!
52
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,800
[Man] Sometimes I come
home from work and we have
dinner together, you know?
53
00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:12,536
No, I don't know.
You have dinner at
the table with your cat?
54
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,773
With a tablecloth
and candles?
No, Barry.
55
00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:18,577
Just her own plate
on the floor.
Good.
56
00:03:18,648 --> 00:03:23,177
But we eat the same things.
Like if I have a pork chop,
she has a pork chop.
57
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,415
If I have a veal,
she has a veal.
58
00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:27,856
Glenn, take my advice.
59
00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:31,088
Stop hangin' around
with the pussy.
Go find some.
60
00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:33,562
I'm listening, Michael.
What's up?
61
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:38,967
Yeah, I heard
your little advertisement
there for the pizza place.
62
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:42,233
Yeah, Jericho's Pizza.
I love that pizza.
Don't you like it?
63
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:45,070
You sound like
you'd love it.
I enjoy Jericho's Pizza.
64
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,873
What I wanted
to say to you tonight,
Mr. Champlaign, was...
65
00:03:47,944 --> 00:03:50,743
I have an interest
in this place, or at least,
some friends of mine--
66
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:54,609
Just use one-syllables,
Billy, if it's difficult.
Oh, Michael.
67
00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:57,017
Hey, smart guy.
Just use one-syllable--
68
00:03:57,087 --> 00:04:00,455
Smart guy?
We're being-- Smart guy.
69
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:02,755
We got somebody with
a little lip on us tonight.
70
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:06,092
Hey.
Don't call me "Hey."
71
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:09,998
This is not a conversation.
This is a monologue.
I talk, you listen.
72
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:13,298
Understand me?
Oh, yeah, we're listening.
73
00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:15,134
Yes? Go ahead.
74
00:04:15,205 --> 00:04:19,575
I don't want you makin'
any more comments about
the pizza joint.
75
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:22,772
Do you have relatives
that run the place?
People gotta make money on this.
76
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,838
Uncle Vinnie or someone?
There are people--
77
00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:27,111
You know what, Michael?
You're a meatball.
78
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,813
- Debbie in Highland Park.
- My name is Debbie.
79
00:04:29,886 --> 00:04:32,446
Hello, Debbie.
How old are you?
80
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,048
I'm 23.
Uh-huh.
81
00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:37,185
What do you do?
I don't do anything.
82
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:40,253
When was the last time
you did something?
83
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,993
I don't know.
A bout a month ago.
84
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:46,400
What'd you do a month ago?
I went swimmin'!
[Laughs]
85
00:04:46,469 --> 00:04:49,701
Mm-hmm.
What do you do for money?
86
00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:52,299
I got my brother.
I haven't made any.
87
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,310
Debbie, you're a leech.
88
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,006
Don't you think it's time
you got off your duff,
started making money?
89
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,517
Well, not really.
I got everything I want.
[Chattering]
90
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:03,281
But, Debbie,
what do you need?
Well--
91
00:05:03,353 --> 00:05:06,653
What are you missing
that you need?
A guy. A boyfriend.
92
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,557
A guy? What do you have
to offer a guy?
93
00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:11,891
Well--
94
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:14,329
I have nice,
shiny long hair--
95
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,559
A guy could buy
himself a wig.
96
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:20,092
You can tell I don't have a wig.
It never falls off.
97
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,969
You're terrific, darling.
But seriously, Debbie.
98
00:05:23,039 --> 00:05:27,101
Aren't you shooting
for anything more in life
than looking for a free meal?
99
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,043
Not really.
100
00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:31,809
You wanna lie around
till you find somebody
to take care of you.
101
00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:34,351
Yeah.
You're dynamic, darling.
102
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,581
Rhonda from Garland on the line.
Rhonda, you're on Night Talk.
103
00:05:37,654 --> 00:05:39,589
[Rhonda]
Barry, I want to
express my views--
104
00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:42,717
What are you doing, Steve?
Looking at this Dietz guy.
105
00:05:42,792 --> 00:05:46,160
[Rhonda]... up in
New York City, givin' out
needles to drug addicts.
106
00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:48,858
They have to do it
to stop AIDS.
Clean needles help.
107
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,367
It's immoral
for the government
of this country--
108
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,097
tax dollars to be
goin' to addicts.
109
00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:56,969
But it's all right
for our tax dollars,
four billion of them,
110
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,100
to go into a system
that's a complete joke.
111
00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:01,667
More drugs than ever
are coming into this country.
112
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:04,112
Our courts, our jails
are clogged with cases.
113
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,150
The other night up in
New York City, crack dealers
killed another cop.
114
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:10,346
Any kid who wants
a hit can get one.
That's right.
115
00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:12,787
When are we gonna
wake up, Rhonda?
116
00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:17,385
When are we going to admit
that drug prohibition is not
working in this country?
117
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,395
I think--
Know what I think?
118
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,762
I think we should
legalize all drugs,
as sinister as that sounds.
119
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:25,700
That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.
Is it?
120
00:06:25,769 --> 00:06:28,204
A junkie could go
to a drugstore,
More stuff, Laura.
121
00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:30,604
sign his name,
get the stuff for a buck...
122
00:06:30,674 --> 00:06:33,872
then he doesn't have to
rob or kill for his habit.
Thanks, Ellen.
123
00:06:33,944 --> 00:06:36,038
You cannot let children
have drugs.
124
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:39,981
Why not?
They're gonna get it anyway.
Why not?
125
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:43,851
In America today we're
talking about shooting up
in the eighth grade.
126
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,014
We have a moral obligation
to the children.
127
00:06:46,089 --> 00:06:48,615
Know what the most
dangerous drug is?
128
00:06:48,692 --> 00:06:51,025
It's heroin.
No, it's legal.
129
00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:53,825
It's tobacco.
It kills 350,000 people a year.
130
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:57,163
You know how much coke, crack,
heroin, pot kill every year?
[Phone Rings]
131
00:06:57,233 --> 00:07:00,032
Four thousand people.
Will you listen to sense?
Hello? Let me check.
132
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,595
Will you listen to logic,
please?
133
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,040
The only people who benefit
from prohibition...
134
00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:08,237
are the gangsters
makin' the money on it,
135
00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:10,940
the politicians
condemning it
and gettin' your vote.
136
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,507
And who foots the bill?
You, Rhonda Q. Sucker!
137
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:17,110
I beg your pardon!
It would end tomorrow.
138
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:22,091
The $200 billion drug problem
in this country could
disappear overnight.
139
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:26,323
Legalize the damn stuff.
Do it today,
right after this message.
140
00:07:26,396 --> 00:07:28,729
I'm Barry Champlaign.
This is Night Talk.
141
00:07:28,798 --> 00:07:32,291
We're gonna go to a message.
I'll be right back
after I shoot up.
142
00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:34,499
Who's the schlub?
143
00:07:34,571 --> 00:07:38,008
Barry, Dan and I wanted
to tell you before the show
we have some good news.
144
00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:42,205
Barry?
Dan, I can't talk right now.
I gotta take a leak.
145
00:07:42,278 --> 00:07:44,406
I'll catch you later,
okay?
146
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:48,612
Stu, cool it with the baseball
calls and the transvestites.
How's the lines?
147
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,916
I got five
hanging on already.
Give me 45.
148
00:07:50,987 --> 00:07:53,957
You got it.
Barry, I'd like you
to meet Chuck Dietz,
149
00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:56,892
V.P. in charge
of advertising,
MetroWave, Chicago.
150
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,453
Really?
Very nice to meet you.
It's my pleasure.
151
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,829
I've been reading all
your press clippings...
152
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,459
and listening to tapes
of your shows for weeks.
153
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:08,562
- [Coughs]
And?
- And you're really something.
154
00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:10,732
You're very funny.
I try to amuse.
155
00:08:10,807 --> 00:08:13,606
I'm in the middle of a show.
I've gotta move it along.
Genius at work.
156
00:08:13,676 --> 00:08:17,807
MetroWave's picking up
the show starting Monday,
linking it to a national feed.
157
00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:20,976
Some people at Humphrey's Coffee
want to sponsor
the show nationally.
158
00:08:21,051 --> 00:08:22,986
[Stu]
We're at cold:30, Bar.
159
00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:26,353
Wait a minute.
The show's going national
starting Monday night?
160
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,392
When did this happen?
161
00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:31,622
- Don't I get a say in this?
You know about this?
- Yeah.
162
00:08:31,694 --> 00:08:34,323
Dan--
We didn't know anything
about it until tonight.
163
00:08:34,397 --> 00:08:36,957
No sense getting
you all excited
until it panned out.
164
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,935
Chuck is here to be the eyes
and ears of MetroWave,
so to speak.
165
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:42,029
So to speak.
[Stu]
Fifteen, Bar.
166
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,904
Why don't you go ahead.
We can talk later.
167
00:08:44,974 --> 00:08:47,068
[Commercial:
Man, Indistinct]
168
00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:49,840
We got a hot show.
We're talking Larry King
here-- coast to coast.
169
00:08:49,913 --> 00:08:52,382
It's always
a hot show, Dan.
Stu, find me a catheter.
170
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,783
Extra hot. We'll get
a contract for six months.
Jawohl.
171
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:58,686
- ♪♪ [Blues Rock]
- [Announcer] You're listening
to the best talk in Texas.
172
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:02,283
Barry Champlaign on KGAB.
You know about this?
173
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:06,022
Yeah. Chill, will you,
Barry? The bucks
don't suck. Stand by.
174
00:09:06,096 --> 00:09:08,031
555-TALK.
Yo.
175
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:14,527
[Barry]
MetroWave Broadcasting
is a giant media corporation...
176
00:09:14,604 --> 00:09:17,802
specializing
in broadcast radio.
177
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:20,639
It has 357
affiliate stations...
178
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:23,339
in the United States
and Canada.
179
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:25,541
Two minutes ago
I received a phone call...
180
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:29,450
from the man who controls
those 357 stations--
181
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:32,921
the president of
MetroWave Broadcasting.
182
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,983
He asked me if MetroWave
could pick up this show,
183
00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:41,725
pick up Barry Champlaign
for national syndication,
beginning Monday night.
184
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,097
I've had
these offers before,
185
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,467
and I've been asked
in the past if I could
ever soften my touch,
186
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:50,871
go a little easier,
and my answer has
always been the same:
187
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:54,104
Take it or leave it.
188
00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:57,580
He took it.
189
00:09:57,647 --> 00:10:00,446
And so,
beginning Monday night,
190
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:04,420
this show, Night Talk,
begins national broadcasting.
191
00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:06,820
That means the nation
is listening.
192
00:10:07,223 --> 00:10:10,682
You better have something
to say. I know I do.
193
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,695
And we have Chet from Mesquite
on the line.
194
00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:15,357
Hello, Chet.
Hello?
195
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:17,900
You think you're so smart.
Hello?
196
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:21,768
Why are you always talkin'
about the drugs and niggers...
197
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,932
and homos and Jews?
198
00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:26,374
Isn't there anything
else to talk about?
You know what I hate?
199
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,877
I hate people who tell me
what they don't wanna
talk about.
200
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:31,847
You don't wanna talk
about blacks and gays,
why'd you bring them up?
201
00:10:31,915 --> 00:10:33,781
Sounds like you like
talking about them.
202
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:36,649
Tell me what
you wanna talk about,
or get off the phone.
203
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,211
Why don't you start
telling the truth?
About what?
204
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:44,284
You know.
People behind your show,
people who pay the bills.
205
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,023
Talking about
the sponsors now.
Don't you act dumb with me.
206
00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:49,065
What kind of a name
is Champlaign?
207
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:52,068
I want you to cancel my
plane reservations for tonight.
You changed it?
208
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:53,797
I'm gonna come in tomorrow.
Maybe because
it sounded too Jewish.
209
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,999
Call Freddie.
Tell him to call me tomorrow.
Change the name, get a nose job,
210
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,099
same old story.
Chet, come on!
211
00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:02,839
He started out a bit shaky.
Your attitude
reminds me of a story.
212
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,404
Last summer
I visited Germany.
213
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:07,882
Wanted to take a look
at Hitler's homeland.
214
00:11:07,951 --> 00:11:10,011
Are you familiar
with Adolf Hitler, Chet?
215
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,555
I'm familiar
with Adolf Hitler.
216
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:15,057
I bet you are.
217
00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:19,755
I decided to visit the remains
of a concentration camp
on the outskirts of Munich:
218
00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:21,764
Dachau.
219
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:26,360
You join a tour group,
go out by bus, get out at
the gate. It's chilling.
220
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:29,804
A sign over the gate says,
"Arbeit Macht Frei."
221
00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:35,334
It means, "Work will make
you free"-- something the
Nazis told their prisoners.
222
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:39,507
You still listening
to me, Chet?
I'm counting your lies.
223
00:11:39,582 --> 00:11:41,574
Good.
I wanna make sure
you're hearing them.
224
00:11:41,651 --> 00:11:46,487
I'm walking around this
concentration camp, and I see
something on the ground.
225
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:50,516
I picked it up.
Guess what I found, Chet?
226
00:11:50,593 --> 00:11:55,031
A tiny Star of David.
Very old.
227
00:11:55,098 --> 00:11:58,466
Who knows?
It might've belonged to one
of the prisoners at the camp.
228
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,696
Maybe a small boy
torn from his parents...
229
00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:03,365
as they were dragged off
to the slaughterhouse.
230
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:07,701
I kept that Star of David.
231
00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:12,272
I know I shouldn't have,
but I did. I keep it
right here on my console.
232
00:12:12,348 --> 00:12:14,283
I like to hold it
sometimes.
233
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:18,515
In fact, well...
I'm holding it right now.
234
00:12:18,588 --> 00:12:22,491
I like to hold it in my hand
to give me courage.
235
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:26,188
Maybe some of the courage
that small boy had as he
faced unspeakable evil...
236
00:12:26,262 --> 00:12:29,198
can enter me as I face
the trials in my own life...
237
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:32,064
as I face the cowardly
and the narrow-minded.
238
00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:35,333
The bitter, bigoted people
who hide behind anonymous
phone calls...
239
00:12:35,405 --> 00:12:37,670
full of hatred
and poisonous bile.
240
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,504
The gutless,
spineless people...
241
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:42,841
like you, Chet,
who make me puke!
242
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:47,282
Keep talkin', Jew boy.
Life is short.
243
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,081
[Line Disconnects,
Dial Tone]
244
00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:52,418
Stu, let's send
a microwave oven out to Chet.
245
00:12:52,488 --> 00:12:55,151
And we have Kent on the line.
Yeah, Kent?
246
00:12:55,224 --> 00:12:57,659
I need help.
Shoot.
247
00:12:57,727 --> 00:13:00,720
I like to party
with my girlfriend.
248
00:13:00,797 --> 00:13:03,289
How old are you?
Nineteen.
249
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,733
How old's your girlfriend?
Seventeen.
250
00:13:05,802 --> 00:13:09,603
Okay, go ahead.
So we like to party,
you know?
251
00:13:09,672 --> 00:13:14,076
When you're partying,
where are your parents?
On a vacation.
252
00:13:14,143 --> 00:13:16,612
He's so excited about it.
Look at him.
253
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,478
I think it's Fiji.
Is that right?
254
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:23,316
Is there a place called Fiji?
Excuse me. I'm gonna
take care of some stuff.
255
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:27,084
Your parents are on vacation
in a place called Fiji,
and you're partying.
256
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:30,422
Yeah, that's what I wanted
to ask you about, Bar.
257
00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:34,089
See, we've been partying
for a couple of days.
Uh-huh.
258
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:36,928
Smokin' coke, crack.
259
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,026
Free-base.
260
00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:43,904
Sounds pretty sordid, Kent.
You've been smoking crack
with your girlfriend.
261
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:46,602
What else you been up to?
Drinkin'.
262
00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:48,702
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
263
00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:53,216
I drank a bottle
of 100-proof whiskey yesterday
'cause I was gettin' paranoid.
264
00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:57,515
Jill was doin' some acid
with some Valium.
265
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,579
It was--
266
00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:03,148
Kent,
you need to call a doctor,
have your stomach pumped.
267
00:14:03,226 --> 00:14:06,993
Let me give you
a number to call.
That's why I'm callin' you.
268
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,897
Why?
It's Jill.
269
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:15,066
She's been sleepin'
a long time--
No, no, no.
270
00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:18,165
She's been sleepin'
and she won't wake up.
271
00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:22,406
Don't waste my time with
this baloney. When you get
outta detox, give me a call.
272
00:14:22,478 --> 00:14:24,777
She's turnin' blue.
She's turning blue?
273
00:14:24,847 --> 00:14:29,410
Great. Just give Stu
your address and we'll
send an ambulance there now.
274
00:14:29,485 --> 00:14:32,512
Give Stu your address,
we'll send an ambulance
in two minutes.
275
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:35,888
I can't! I can't!
I'm gonna get your address.
Kent, hello?
276
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:38,723
Hello?
277
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,730
[Dial Tone]
278
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,528
I'm really glad people
like Kent are out there
and I'm inside here.
279
00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:45,659
We're gonna go to
a little commercial break now.
280
00:14:45,735 --> 00:14:50,366
Whoo-whee!
Jericho's Pizza, down Route 111
at the Jericho Turnpike.
281
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:54,104
They got pizza you'll
never forget. One slice, you
don't have to eat for a week.
282
00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:59,138
I saw a guy in there combing
his hair with his stuff off
the plate. Jericho's Pizza.
283
00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:02,982
We have the news and weather
coming up, then we'll be back
with more Night Talk.
284
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:05,521
♪♪ [Commercial Jingle,
Indistinct]
285
00:15:05,588 --> 00:15:08,114
Here's your mail.
You read it.
286
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:14,897
What's the problem tonight?
Fight with the old lady?
287
00:15:14,964 --> 00:15:18,128
No, there's no problems.
Throwing me some
real curveballs.
288
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:21,638
What's wrong with
curveballs, Bar?
Some call.
289
00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:23,900
It's a hoax.
How can you be sure?
290
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:27,102
A hoax.
Stu, who's this Henry?
You didn't give me this.
291
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,372
Who's Denise
from Fort Worth?
I didn't get that.
292
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:32,210
- Maybe Laura
should take the calls.
- These people were stiffs.
293
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:34,716
You want stiffs,
I'll give you stiffs.
No, Stu.
294
00:15:34,784 --> 00:15:38,016
I don't want stiffs.
Am I speaking English?
Read my lips.
295
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,647
Keep the show moving,
give me stuff I can work with.
296
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:43,921
You having trouble
understanding me?
No, I'm not having trouble.
297
00:15:43,993 --> 00:15:46,622
As a matter of fact,
I read you loud and clear.
298
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,631
[Shouts]
Good!
299
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:55,029
[Laura]
Barry?
300
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:58,040
Barry.
301
00:15:58,107 --> 00:16:02,044
Honey, just relax.
Everything's under control.
302
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:04,046
It's my ass on the line,
not yours.
303
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:08,016
All you have to do
is just be nice.
304
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:10,246
Okay?
Just for tonight.
305
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,850
You be nice, Laura.
It's what you're good at.
306
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,454
You're not gonna lose
even with a 15--
[Door Opens]
307
00:16:19,529 --> 00:16:23,022
Jerry, I'm gonna
put you on hold.
Something wrong, Barry?
308
00:16:23,099 --> 00:16:25,591
I can't work with him
breathing down my neck.
I want him out now!
309
00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:29,070
I have your contract right here.
Why don't you take it
and look it over.
310
00:16:29,138 --> 00:16:31,698
You dump it on me the Friday
before it's gonna happen.
311
00:16:31,774 --> 00:16:34,471
You stick some putz
in the middle of my studio.
312
00:16:34,544 --> 00:16:36,536
I feel like I'm auditioning
for my own job!
313
00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:38,706
Barry, calm down.
You don't care.
314
00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:41,615
Just stick me out there,
see how it goes.
315
00:16:41,684 --> 00:16:44,244
Doesn't work out, flush Barry
down the toilet, right?
316
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:49,418
You're not gonna get me
to apologize for getting
you a slot on national radio.
317
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:51,791
I worked very hard on this deal,
and I'm happy with it.
318
00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:54,490
If you're not,
we tear up the contract,
319
00:16:54,564 --> 00:16:56,999
we don't do
the MetroWave hookup.
320
00:16:57,066 --> 00:17:01,026
Big mistake, guy. I think
it's worth the gamble because
I think the show is good.
321
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:06,201
Barry, you are good.
And it will blow them away
everywhere it's heard.
322
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,870
Dietz goes with the deal.
Grin and bear it.
323
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:12,438
You do your job,
I'll do mine.
324
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:14,814
Did you run Sani Clean
before the news?
325
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:17,444
[Stu]
Yes, I did.
You up with your log?
326
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,957
There's a Harry's,
a Firestone, a logo.
They're all on track.
327
00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:23,151
Good.
Don't let it get to you.
It's been a strange night.
328
00:17:23,225 --> 00:17:26,093
There's nothing strange
about it. How long you
been working here?
329
00:17:26,162 --> 00:17:29,223
Four months.
How long you been
sleeping with him?
330
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,460
[Barry]
Listen, Ellen.
I was gonna cheer you up.
331
00:17:31,534 --> 00:17:35,198
MetroWave, the network,
is picking up the show.
We're going national.
332
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:39,072
Oh, my God.
In Chicago too?
Yeah, in Chicago too.
333
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:42,578
It's not that simple--
You must be so excited!
334
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,910
Yeah, of course
I'm excited.
335
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,974
We got this character
here from the company
keeping an eye on me.
336
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:52,647
I'll be right off the phone.
Ellen, will you tell him
you're talking to me?
337
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:56,181
I like this stuff.
Nights like tonight
are what it's all about.
338
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,454
You either get used to it
or you get lost.
339
00:17:58,527 --> 00:18:01,793
That's what his wife did-- left
him. So did the two producers
who were here before you.
340
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,890
But big Stu stayed,
didn't he?
341
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:08,267
I don't have to take his
shit. I'm not his wife.
You're not, but I am.
342
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,499
This is not the best time
for me to talk.
343
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:14,010
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry I'm calling so late.
344
00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:17,240
It's just that
This is important.
[Stu] Barry, 20!
345
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,875
I need your help with something.
I never ask you
for anything and--
346
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,044
Barry--
347
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,918
Can you come to Dallas
over the weekend, till Tuesday?
348
00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:30,392
What?
I need someone here
I can trust. It's--
349
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:33,258
- It's important.
- Damn it! Come on!
350
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,628
I don't think
he's gonna let me.
Forget it.
351
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,894
Forget it.
Don't come.
352
00:18:37,967 --> 00:18:40,129
[Commercial: Man]
He answered,
"The night he didn't come home."
353
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:43,832
- [Commercial: Woman]
No, that happened all the time.
- Ellen?
354
00:18:43,906 --> 00:18:45,932
I'm thinking, okay?
355
00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:48,170
[Stu]
Five, Bar.
356
00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:52,841
All right. Sunday?
You pick me up at the airport.
Strap in, Bar.
357
00:18:52,915 --> 00:18:55,248
Yeah, I'll be there.
Here we go.
358
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:58,481
- Look, I gotta go. Bye.
- [Announcer] You're listening
to the best talk in Texas.
359
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,080
The phone lines are open,
and your calls
are invited now...
360
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:03,922
at 555-TALK.
361
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:08,291
Bob, what a relief.
How you doing tonight?
362
00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:10,492
Terrific.
Very well, thank you.
363
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,365
I hope you're not
gonna get too busy
to take my calls.
364
00:19:13,436 --> 00:19:16,497
No show is complete
without your call.
How are the legs?
365
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,599
They're fine--
an ache or two.
But you know what I say?
366
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:21,701
When they give you lemons,
make lemonade.
367
00:19:21,777 --> 00:19:25,009
You can't cry
over spilled milk.
Cry, and you cry alone.
368
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,879
You can't lose
what you never had.
369
00:19:26,949 --> 00:19:29,214
Because you don't know
what you got until you lost it.
370
00:19:29,285 --> 00:19:31,584
So don't lose hope.
This too shall pass.
371
00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:35,147
Because today is the first day
of the rest of your life.
372
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:39,059
Yeah, and it's
always darkest before dawn.
Bob, could I just--
373
00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:44,362
People think that life
in a wheelchair must be
the worst thing in the world.
374
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,368
That's not the way
I look at it.
375
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,166
I imagine the worst thing
in the world would be...
376
00:19:49,238 --> 00:19:52,697
bein' unthankful
for all the good things
that come our way every day.
377
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,609
The smiles on little children,
flowers bloomin',
378
00:19:55,678 --> 00:19:59,706
little birds chirpin',
sittin' on the buddin' branches
on a bright spring day.
379
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:04,777
Why, hell,
just the sun comin' up
every day is a miracle.
380
00:20:04,854 --> 00:20:08,052
I couldn't agree with you more,
especially that part
about the sun.
381
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:11,993
We get bogged down
in our daily troubles and we
forget about the simple things.
382
00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:14,997
Oh, I forgot one more thing
to be thankful for.
383
00:20:15,064 --> 00:20:18,262
What's that?
The Barry Champlaign show.
384
00:20:18,334 --> 00:20:21,304
Thank you, Bob.
Listen, we gotta run.
385
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,340
Know you can't, but we can.
So God bless you--
One more thing.
386
00:20:24,406 --> 00:20:27,376
Don't put all your eggs
in one basket.
A bird in the hand--
387
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,071
- Good night. And we have--
- Debbie, you still there?
388
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,938
- Turn your radio down.
Stop crying.
- [Man] Well, I'm black.
389
00:20:34,016 --> 00:20:37,509
Good for you.
What do you want? A medal?
390
00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:41,990
[Laughing]
Well, no, I don't. Don't play
with me like them other people.
391
00:20:42,057 --> 00:20:44,492
I want you to know...
392
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:49,260
that I enjoy listening
to your show, and I want
to say, I like you Jews.
393
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,790
Well, I like you blacks.
I think everyone should own one.
394
00:20:52,868 --> 00:20:55,633
[Laughing]
What I mean to say is,
395
00:20:55,704 --> 00:20:58,674
Uh-huh.
I have many friends
who are Jewish.
396
00:20:58,741 --> 00:21:02,109
Really? How many?
Well, three or four.
397
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,841
I wouldn't
call that "many."
They're very nice people.
398
00:21:04,914 --> 00:21:07,076
They're educated
and they're good in business.
399
00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:10,381
John, I don't know how to break
this to you, but you'll never
get in the B'nai B'rith.
400
00:21:10,452 --> 00:21:13,149
You're black. Don't you know
how Jews feel about blacks?
401
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:17,455
They hate you! They see
you schwartzes on the street,
they cross to the other side.
402
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:21,429
You know those slums
in south Dallas where the rats
eat babies for breakfast?
403
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:25,958
Jews own those slums!
What do you mean, I love Jews?
Are you some kind of Uncle Tom?
404
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,971
What the hell
you know about Uncle Tom?
I think brotherhood--
405
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:32,634
I don't care what you think!
No one does!
406
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:36,167
You wanna know why?
Because you're trying
to kiss the master's butt.
407
00:21:36,245 --> 00:21:39,215
What?
You call me up, try to get deep
on how much you love Jews.
408
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:42,274
You're lying. You hate them.
You hate me!
409
00:21:42,351 --> 00:21:45,947
I don't kiss nobody's butt!
Sure you do!
You kiss my butt.
410
00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:48,513
You're kissing my butt
right now. If you weren't,
you'd hang up on me.
411
00:21:48,591 --> 00:21:50,992
I don't wanna
hang up on you!
Then I'll do you the favor.
412
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,757
- [Disconnects Line]
- Night Talk.
Debbie, you're on.
413
00:21:53,829 --> 00:21:55,764
Barry?
Mm-hmm.
414
00:21:55,831 --> 00:21:57,766
This is Debbie again.
415
00:21:57,833 --> 00:21:59,768
Oh, Debbie. Right.
416
00:21:59,835 --> 00:22:03,670
She of the long hair,
my zombie queen, my fantasy.
417
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,834
How are you, my belle?
Bad.
418
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:10,539
I've been thinkin' about
what you said.
419
00:22:10,613 --> 00:22:14,948
- [Quavering]
I wanna ask you somethin'.
- Yeah?
420
00:22:15,017 --> 00:22:17,646
What's wrong with me?
What?
421
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,656
Chet's back. You've had
Debbie on twice. I don't
think you should take the call.
422
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:24,023
Barry?
I can handle it.
Just shoot it to me.
423
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:27,996
This is too important.
I'm not gonna jump through hoops
tonight just because of this--
424
00:22:28,063 --> 00:22:31,090
Please,
tell him to put it on.
425
00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:35,661
Yeah, Debbie, look,
you should see the shape I'm in.
426
00:22:35,738 --> 00:22:39,800
I mean, nothing a good
plastic surgeon or a glass
of cyanide wouldn't fix.
427
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:43,505
I mean, you're young.
You got your whole life
ahead of you.
428
00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:46,378
Why don't I go anywhere?
429
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,940
Well, you gotta
stand up first.
430
00:22:49,018 --> 00:22:52,978
I mean, every journey
begins with a single step.
431
00:22:53,055 --> 00:22:56,048
You gotta go for it,
pumpkin.
432
00:22:56,125 --> 00:23:00,358
Me and Linda used to go out,
but she moved to Houston.
433
00:23:00,429 --> 00:23:04,764
Yeah-- Heh!
Listen, Debbie, Debbie.
434
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:09,237
You got two arms
and two legs?
Yeah.
435
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:12,707
Are you blind?
No.
436
00:23:12,775 --> 00:23:15,836
- You got a belly button?
- Yeah.
[Chuckles]
437
00:23:17,012 --> 00:23:19,777
Two belly buttons?
No, I got one.
438
00:23:19,848 --> 00:23:22,079
[Chuckles]
Are you sure?
Have you looked lately?
439
00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:24,985
Yeah. I got one.
You're gonna be fine.
440
00:23:25,054 --> 00:23:26,682
You're gonna be just fine.
441
00:23:26,755 --> 00:23:31,125
And we have...
Chet from Mesquite on the line.
Chet?
442
00:23:31,193 --> 00:23:34,357
So now everyone in the country
can hear your big mouth flap.
443
00:23:34,430 --> 00:23:36,456
Chet, so nice
to hear from you again.
444
00:23:36,532 --> 00:23:38,558
Shouldn't you be out
burning crosses
or molesting children?
445
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:42,093
I'd rather be talking to you.
How about training
pit bulls?
446
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,106
Think you're so smart.
447
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:48,306
You get the package
I sent down to the station?
448
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,673
Package?
449
00:23:51,747 --> 00:23:55,616
You got it, I know you did.
You sent me a present?
450
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:58,051
I couldn't decide whether
to use a timer or not.
451
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,385
You'll have to find that out
when you open it.
452
00:24:00,456 --> 00:24:03,290
You're telling me
you sent me a bomb in the mail?
453
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,625
Wrapped in brown paper.
I know you're lookin' at it
right now.
454
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,391
You just take some C-4,
455
00:24:08,464 --> 00:24:13,732
roll it in a pile
of nuts and bolts and pebbles,
and it does the job.
456
00:24:13,802 --> 00:24:16,237
Sounds interesting, Chet.
I didn't receive your package.
[Indistinct]
457
00:24:16,305 --> 00:24:18,604
Sure you sent it
to the right address?
You got it.
458
00:24:18,674 --> 00:24:22,076
If I were you,
I'd have my pretty assistant
give the police a call.
459
00:24:22,144 --> 00:24:24,272
Take the bomb squad
ten minutes to get there.
460
00:24:24,346 --> 00:24:27,145
Why should I call
the bomb squad, Chet?
461
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:30,983
Because some pinheaded
redneck moron tells me
there's a bomb in my mail?
462
00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:32,988
He who laughs last--
463
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:34,990
Shut up!
[Disconnects Line]
464
00:24:35,057 --> 00:24:37,117
Night Talk.
Denise, you're on.
465
00:24:37,192 --> 00:24:40,356
I'm scared, Barry.
What are you scared of,
babe?
466
00:24:40,429 --> 00:24:43,661
Nothin' specifically,
but on the other hand...
467
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,758
it's like everywhere I go--
468
00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:47,894
Mm-hmm. Yeah?
469
00:24:47,970 --> 00:24:50,235
Barry, you know,
we've got...
470
00:24:50,305 --> 00:24:52,706
a garbage disposal
in our kitchen sink.
Yeah, it's fine.
471
00:24:52,775 --> 00:24:55,108
Tell Dan my mail
is my business.
472
00:24:55,177 --> 00:24:59,080
This is not funny.
You tell Dan
my mail is my business.
473
00:24:59,148 --> 00:25:03,176
You know how that feels
when you have to reach
down there into that gook...
474
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:05,983
and put your hand around?
475
00:25:06,055 --> 00:25:08,490
Who knows what
could be down there?
476
00:25:08,557 --> 00:25:11,925
Dan, I hope you're not
calling the cops. If you are,
I'm gonna get really pissed off.
477
00:25:11,994 --> 00:25:14,259
Get off the phone
or I walk.
478
00:25:14,329 --> 00:25:17,925
There's germs
you can't even see.
Don't waste my time, man.
479
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,629
Hang it or I walk!
They grow there.
480
00:25:20,702 --> 00:25:22,864
Hang it up!
They come back
up the pipes.
481
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:27,603
- [Receiver Clicks]
- Salmonella, yeast, cancer, even
the common cold. Who knows?
482
00:25:27,676 --> 00:25:31,113
But, Barry, even without
all of that, what if--
483
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,115
and I'm just sayin'
what if--
484
00:25:33,182 --> 00:25:37,176
what if that disposal came on
while your hand was down there?
485
00:25:37,252 --> 00:25:40,984
And it goes
around and around--
Denise, tell me something.
486
00:25:41,056 --> 00:25:45,858
You're telling me that you're
afraid of the garbage disposal
in your mother's kitchen?
487
00:25:45,928 --> 00:25:49,330
Well, it's not just
the garbage disposal.
488
00:25:49,398 --> 00:25:52,425
I like things
to be clean, Barry.
489
00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:54,436
How often does
this happen?
490
00:25:54,503 --> 00:25:57,063
Couple times since
I've been here.
491
00:25:57,139 --> 00:26:00,371
Like the houses on our street.
Used to be we knew
who lived on our street.
492
00:26:00,442 --> 00:26:04,470
But that was years ago.
Now all different kinds
of people live here--
493
00:26:04,546 --> 00:26:07,641
foreigners,
people with accents.
494
00:26:07,716 --> 00:26:11,209
Are they sanitary?
Why don't you ask
one of them?
495
00:26:11,286 --> 00:26:14,120
That would be
a nice idea to just go
to somebody's house...
496
00:26:14,189 --> 00:26:16,385
and knock on their door,
497
00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:20,554
but what if a serial murderer
lived there?
498
00:26:20,629 --> 00:26:23,030
What if Ted Bundy
lived there?
499
00:26:23,098 --> 00:26:26,933
What if he was sittin' inside
watchin' television,
and I came to the door?
500
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:31,804
"Why, you just come right on
in here, Denise," he'd say.
501
00:26:31,874 --> 00:26:34,844
That's why I don't go to
strange people's houses anymore.
502
00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:39,211
I keep the doors locked
at all times, but that's
not gonna solve anything.
503
00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:43,150
You're not gonna stop a plane
from crashin' onto your house,
are you?
504
00:26:43,218 --> 00:26:47,815
No.
The mailman brings me
unsolicited mail.
505
00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:51,918
The postage stamp could've been
licked by somebody with AIDS.
506
00:26:51,994 --> 00:26:56,193
My mother's a threat
to my life just by persistin'
to go out there.
507
00:26:56,265 --> 00:26:59,565
- Out where?
Where does your mother go?
- Barry--
508
00:26:59,635 --> 00:27:03,731
Barry, did you know
there's this terrible
dust storm in California?
509
00:27:03,805 --> 00:27:06,900
It has these
fungus spores in it,
and these spores...
510
00:27:06,975 --> 00:27:09,444
get into people's lungs
and their bloodstream...
511
00:27:09,511 --> 00:27:12,310
and it grows,
and then it kills them.
512
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:16,148
- Strange air.
Strange air, Barry. [Gasps]
- [Jostling Sound]
513
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:18,710
Oh, I hear my mother's key
in the door.
[Line Disconnects]
514
00:27:21,323 --> 00:27:24,418
Strange air.
Well, uh--
515
00:27:24,493 --> 00:27:28,931
That about wraps up
another thrilling episode
with the man you love to love.
516
00:27:28,997 --> 00:27:32,092
Gotta go home now,
take care of the goldfish.
517
00:27:32,167 --> 00:27:37,071
Stay tuned, 'cause Monday's
when Night Talk begins
national syndication,
518
00:27:37,139 --> 00:27:39,836
allowing the good folks
of Dallas to have
verbal intercourse...
519
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:42,002
with the rest of the U.S.A.
520
00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,273
But don't go away yet.
521
00:27:44,346 --> 00:27:47,612
If you've got
any psychological problems
or you're just plain suicidal,
522
00:27:47,683 --> 00:27:51,586
Dr. Sheila Fleming is here,
and she'll be glad to give you
some dubious advice.
523
00:27:51,653 --> 00:27:56,353
Or if you're just a levelheaded,
happy, normal person,
you can turn the radio off.
524
00:27:56,425 --> 00:28:00,692
Until Monday,
this is Barry Champlaign
reminding you that...
525
00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:05,791
sticks and stones can
break your bones, but words
cause permanent damage.
526
00:28:05,867 --> 00:28:10,134
♪ Bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad ♪
527
00:28:10,205 --> 00:28:14,006
[Announcer] It's time
to strap him up and wheel him
a way for his weekend therapy.
528
00:28:14,076 --> 00:28:17,604
But Barry Champlaign
will be back with more
Night Talk Monday...
529
00:28:17,679 --> 00:28:19,841
on KGAB, Dallas.
530
00:28:21,350 --> 00:28:24,377
[Crowd Chatter]
[Man] Barry, my man.
What's happenin'?
531
00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:29,050
The coach is here.
You're gonna say a few words
and then give him the cup,
532
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:31,355
and then he's
gonna talk.
Yeah.
533
00:28:31,426 --> 00:28:35,420
Now, you're gonna be
introduced by Mel
in the booth.
534
00:28:35,497 --> 00:28:38,467
Got it.
You hear the show last night?
535
00:28:38,533 --> 00:28:41,799
A great show.
Great show.
536
00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:44,863
Listen,
I never got that autographed
picture that you promised...
537
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:47,375
so I can hang it
in my restaurant.
538
00:28:47,442 --> 00:28:50,037
You were supposed to send it
over three weeks ago.
It slipped my mind.
539
00:28:50,112 --> 00:28:53,446
Slipped your mind?
What mind? What could be
more important than that Dino?
540
00:28:53,515 --> 00:28:57,816
I'll send it over
first thing tomorrow.
Don't go to any trouble.
541
00:28:57,886 --> 00:28:59,821
No trouble.
Where is he?
542
00:28:59,888 --> 00:29:02,414
[Dino]
There he is.
543
00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:05,552
Stick around.
You are the greatest, Barry!
All right.
544
00:29:05,627 --> 00:29:07,687
See you.
See you later.
545
00:29:07,763 --> 00:29:10,062
He's a great guy,
huh?
Of course he is.
546
00:29:10,132 --> 00:29:12,863
He thinks you're God.
What bit you
in the ass?
547
00:29:12,934 --> 00:29:17,895
You're pissed 'cause I tell you
to get a picture for the guy,
which is your job.
548
00:29:17,973 --> 00:29:22,035
I'm pissed because you haven't
said two words to me all week
except to boss me around.
549
00:29:22,110 --> 00:29:25,842
We work together.
That's the deal. I'm the boss.
I boss you around.
550
00:29:25,914 --> 00:29:29,373
- It's more than that. It's like
you're always angry with me.
- [Man] Excuse me.
551
00:29:29,451 --> 00:29:32,285
You're Barry Champlaign,
aren't you?
Yeah.
552
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:35,051
Can I have an autograph?
Thanks.
Sure thing.
553
00:29:35,123 --> 00:29:37,354
Hi.
Hi.
554
00:29:38,794 --> 00:29:40,820
Here you go.
Thanks a lot.
555
00:29:40,896 --> 00:29:43,161
I love your show.
556
00:29:43,231 --> 00:29:45,223
Okay, see you later.
557
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:47,235
Back in the cage.
558
00:29:47,302 --> 00:29:49,999
I used to listen to your show
when I was in high school.
559
00:29:50,072 --> 00:29:52,871
- I'm supposed to be doing
my homework, and--
- [Man] Barry?
560
00:29:52,941 --> 00:29:57,276
You wanna make it out
to Joe Bob, please?
Sure.
561
00:29:57,346 --> 00:30:00,839
You should have called.
I would have come
and tucked you in.
562
00:30:00,916 --> 00:30:03,215
Thanks, Barry.
God bless.
563
00:30:03,285 --> 00:30:05,982
God bless you,
Joe Bob.
564
00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:09,582
The show going national
is important.
Let's work together.
565
00:30:09,658 --> 00:30:13,356
Just be a little more careful
around this guy Dietz.
566
00:30:13,428 --> 00:30:15,761
This is a big thing,
Barry.
567
00:30:16,932 --> 00:30:19,367
Right.
I'm not greasing
my way up a pole.
568
00:30:19,434 --> 00:30:22,632
I resent it that when I talk
to you like your producer...
All right.
569
00:30:22,704 --> 00:30:24,866
you treat me
like a girlfriend,
570
00:30:24,940 --> 00:30:29,173
and when I talk to you
like your girlfriend,
you treat me like your wife.
571
00:30:30,712 --> 00:30:32,977
I'm not following the drift
of this conversation.
572
00:30:33,048 --> 00:30:36,644
We work together,
we sleep together.
That's it.
573
00:30:36,718 --> 00:30:39,779
I didn't know when we started
seeing each other I was
enrolling in a self-help course.
574
00:30:39,855 --> 00:30:42,188
If I'm angry,
that's who I am.
575
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:46,024
For better or for worse,
that's what got me
where I am today.
576
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:49,189
If you think it's tough
on the outside, just be
thankful you weren't born me.
577
00:30:49,264 --> 00:30:52,632
I've gotta be out of my mind
picking a fight with you.
578
00:30:52,701 --> 00:30:54,795
You a little moody today?
Is that the problem?
579
00:30:54,870 --> 00:30:58,830
Excuse me. Are you
Mr. Barry Champlaign?
580
00:30:58,907 --> 00:31:00,933
Uh, maybe.
581
00:31:01,009 --> 00:31:04,537
Could I have
your autograph?
Sure, sure.
582
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:07,412
You do a great job
on the show.
583
00:31:07,482 --> 00:31:09,542
I couldn't do
it without you.
Thank you.
584
00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:12,486
I listen to your show
all the time.
585
00:31:12,554 --> 00:31:15,456
I think you're a sick,
foul-mouthed,
disgusting man,
586
00:31:15,524 --> 00:31:19,962
and you make people
really nauseous
365 days a year.
587
00:31:20,028 --> 00:31:23,726
It just goes to show what
masochists people are,
they listen 365 days a year.
588
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,098
I don't know why they leave
your show on the air.
Let's get outta here.
589
00:31:26,168 --> 00:31:30,435
Everybody I know hates it.
It makes me wanna
throw my radio out.
590
00:31:30,505 --> 00:31:32,872
Let's go.
If you don't like the show,
why do you listen?
591
00:31:32,941 --> 00:31:35,934
'Cause I'm waitin' for a better
program that's on later.
[Laughs]
592
00:31:36,011 --> 00:31:39,778
Waiting for another program?
There are 30 other shows
on in Dallas.
593
00:31:39,848 --> 00:31:42,545
You listen to
my show every night.
Makes sense.
594
00:31:42,617 --> 00:31:46,179
I feel real sorry for you,
and I think you should be
ashamed of yourself.
595
00:31:46,254 --> 00:31:49,122
- You're such a pathetic nerd.
- I should be ashamed?
596
00:31:49,191 --> 00:31:53,686
At least I don't show up in
public, half in the bag, making
an utter jerk out of myself.
597
00:31:53,762 --> 00:31:57,824
You have no credibility.
You like what I do.
You need me.
598
00:31:57,899 --> 00:32:01,700
But you have no sense of humor,
which is why you can
never enjoy the show,
599
00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:04,501
which is why you're a loser,
like all people who have
no sense of humor.
600
00:32:04,573 --> 00:32:07,668
And you are categorically
one of them. Good-bye.
601
00:32:07,742 --> 00:32:10,837
- Furthermore--
- [Laura] Lady, what the
hell is the matter with you?
602
00:32:13,748 --> 00:32:18,015
What'd you do?
What happened to your suit?
Jesus.
603
00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:20,646
All right,
you're gonna be fine.
604
00:32:20,722 --> 00:32:24,124
Come on. Let's go.
[Crowd Cheering]
605
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:28,562
All of us are here for
something very important
and exciting at S.M.U.,
606
00:32:28,630 --> 00:32:30,895
and I think you know
what I'm talking about.
607
00:32:30,966 --> 00:32:35,267
Who's ready for
a new beginning? How about
Mustang football this fall?
608
00:32:35,337 --> 00:32:37,602
[Crowd Cheering]
That's what I thought.
609
00:32:40,308 --> 00:32:45,975
Now-- Now, to introduce
the new man in charge
of football here at S.M.U.,
610
00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:49,882
our own KGAB radio personality--
the man you love to love--
611
00:32:49,951 --> 00:32:53,217
ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Barry Champlaign!
612
00:32:53,288 --> 00:32:56,383
[Scattered Cheers, Boos]
613
00:32:56,458 --> 00:33:01,590
Thank you. On my way
over here tonight, I--
614
00:33:01,663 --> 00:33:04,656
I was finding out that--
615
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,861
[Nervous Chuckle]
616
00:33:06,935 --> 00:33:09,336
[Booing]
617
00:33:18,446 --> 00:33:20,881
They love me.
They really love me.
618
00:33:22,017 --> 00:33:24,452
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's calm down.
619
00:33:34,996 --> 00:33:38,228
[Man]
A different kind of welcome
than I've ever experienced.
620
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:44,907
[Phone Ringing]
621
00:33:50,045 --> 00:33:51,980
[Laura]
Barry?
622
00:33:55,417 --> 00:33:57,682
Barry!
623
00:33:59,020 --> 00:34:01,182
Barry.
624
00:34:03,758 --> 00:34:07,126
Hello?
Laura, it's Dan.
Is Barry there?
625
00:34:07,195 --> 00:34:09,130
Hang on a second.
626
00:34:10,332 --> 00:34:13,860
It's Dan.
Hmm?
627
00:34:13,935 --> 00:34:15,836
Did I wake you up?
I'm sorry.
628
00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:18,669
No, I always get up ten hours
before I have to go to work.
629
00:34:18,740 --> 00:34:21,335
It's Sunday, your day off
from self-loathing.
630
00:34:21,409 --> 00:34:24,641
You said you didn't want
Dietz breathing down your neck,
so we had a drink.
631
00:34:24,713 --> 00:34:30,118
He's a sharp guy. Loves you,
loves the show. You should sit
down with him, have a chat.
632
00:34:30,185 --> 00:34:32,416
Is he gonna give
you orders now?
633
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:36,185
I figured you'd look at it
that way, so I set up
a meeting for Sunday brunch.
634
00:34:36,257 --> 00:34:38,726
What?
He's got some
great ideas, Bar.
635
00:34:38,793 --> 00:34:40,853
The guy wouldn't know an idea
if it crawled on his kneecap.
636
00:34:40,929 --> 00:34:42,955
Just hold your horses
for one minute.
637
00:34:43,031 --> 00:34:46,729
Chuck and I decided before
we hit national air we should
establish a few ground rules.
638
00:34:46,801 --> 00:34:50,738
Ground rules?
What is this, Dan?
A radio station or an airport?
639
00:34:50,805 --> 00:34:53,969
Will you shut the fuck up
and listen?
No, I won't listen to you.
640
00:34:54,042 --> 00:34:58,912
I knew that when that
corporate cannibal came
into my studio I was in trouble.
641
00:34:58,980 --> 00:35:01,848
What difference
does it make to you?
It's just a show, right?
642
00:35:01,916 --> 00:35:06,320
Are you saying I don't care?
Nobody cares more than I do.
I don't wanna hear it.
643
00:35:06,388 --> 00:35:10,450
I'm gonna come in
tomorrow night, I'm gonna do
the same show I do every night.
644
00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:14,189
And blow the deal.
If it means that, yes.
645
00:35:14,262 --> 00:35:17,198
I do my show, or I don't
do a show. Good-bye.
646
00:35:17,265 --> 00:35:19,962
[Line Disconnects]
You f--
647
00:35:22,837 --> 00:35:24,931
I gotta take a piss.
648
00:35:26,941 --> 00:35:28,967
[Phone Ringing]
649
00:35:32,347 --> 00:35:34,612
Hello?
[Ellen]
Is Barry there?
650
00:35:34,949 --> 00:35:38,442
Who's calling, please?
Look, I'm in a rush.
Could you just get Barry?
651
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,684
Barry, phone again!
It's a woman!
652
00:35:41,756 --> 00:35:45,193
Get her number.
I'll call her back.
He'll call you back.
653
00:35:45,260 --> 00:35:48,253
It's a pay phone.
I can't call you back.
Who is this?
654
00:35:48,329 --> 00:35:52,130
Look, just tell Barry
it's his ex-wife.
Huh!
655
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,967
It's a pay phone.
She can't you call back.
It's your ex-wife.
656
00:35:56,037 --> 00:35:57,972
[Barry]
Shit.
657
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:04,179
Give me that. Ellen, hi.
I'm down at the airport.
Remember?
658
00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:07,613
What airport?
Dallas. What do you think?
It's Sunday.
659
00:36:07,682 --> 00:36:10,914
You told me to be here.
Uh, well, great.
660
00:36:10,985 --> 00:36:13,420
Are you too busy,
or are you coming to get me?
661
00:36:13,488 --> 00:36:17,482
Yeah. No, I'm not busy.
I'm just doing some work here.
662
00:36:17,559 --> 00:36:19,653
Who answered the phone?
I thought you said
you were alone.
663
00:36:19,728 --> 00:36:24,757
It's just my secretary.
Look, Ellen,
what airline are you on?
664
00:36:24,833 --> 00:36:27,701
American Airlines.
Maybe I should just leave.
665
00:36:27,769 --> 00:36:30,170
No, you stay there.
I'll see you in 20 minutes,
okay?
666
00:36:30,238 --> 00:36:33,675
You better be here.
Yeah, I'll see you
in 20 minutes.
667
00:36:33,742 --> 00:36:36,109
Are you all right?
I'm fine.
I'll see you in 20 minutes.
668
00:36:36,177 --> 00:36:37,611
Okay. See ya. Bye.
669
00:36:39,914 --> 00:36:41,940
I gotta get her now.
670
00:36:42,016 --> 00:36:43,951
Where are my shoes?
671
00:36:47,155 --> 00:36:49,750
What?
Don't give me that look.
672
00:36:51,192 --> 00:36:53,127
Hey.
673
00:36:53,194 --> 00:36:56,995
Hey, come here.
She wants to be here
for the national show.
674
00:36:57,065 --> 00:37:00,126
What am I supposed to do?
Say no? Huh?
675
00:37:03,505 --> 00:37:05,599
What did Dan want?
676
00:37:05,673 --> 00:37:08,108
Wants me to come in
and kiss Dietz's ass.
677
00:37:08,176 --> 00:37:10,407
I told him
to kiss my microphone.
678
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,413
[Both Chuckle]
679
00:37:17,385 --> 00:37:20,378
Look, uh--
680
00:37:20,455 --> 00:37:23,857
Can you clean up
around here a bit
before you go? Huh?
681
00:37:23,925 --> 00:37:26,827
Where's my shoes?
682
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,591
I'll call you later,
okay?
683
00:37:43,711 --> 00:37:46,647
[Barry]
You look nice.
[Ellen] Thanks.
684
00:37:46,714 --> 00:37:48,808
You look great.
You look good too.
685
00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:51,785
Except for my wrinkled clothes.
Except for--
I miss you, so what?
686
00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:54,516
So what have you been doing?
I hate when you call me
in the middle of the night.
687
00:37:54,589 --> 00:37:58,526
Lou is so pissed off at me,
I had a fight.
688
00:37:58,593 --> 00:38:02,030
I had a fight at the end
of this with Lou.
You're too good for Lou.
689
00:38:02,096 --> 00:38:06,158
Don't start, Barry.
Barry, don't start.
690
00:38:06,234 --> 00:38:07,725
You been going
to a health club?
You're such a jerk.
691
00:38:07,802 --> 00:38:11,170
Excuse me?
You been going to
a health club or something?
692
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,504
Why?
You look dynamite.
693
00:38:13,575 --> 00:38:17,273
I left you.
I look dynamite
'cause I left you.
694
00:38:17,345 --> 00:38:21,009
Jesus. I spend time,
a little, on my own self.
695
00:38:21,082 --> 00:38:24,314
I'm working too.
I'm not at someone's
beck and call.
696
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,945
Ellen this, Ellen that.
I want this, I want that.
697
00:38:27,021 --> 00:38:31,925
I may not have worked for you--
You just have to bring him food.
Is that basically it?
698
00:38:31,993 --> 00:38:34,690
Don't start.
"Bring me another plate
of spaghetti."
699
00:38:34,762 --> 00:38:36,697
You're such
a troublemaker.
700
00:38:36,764 --> 00:38:39,393
Why doesn't he go
to the health club?
Probably can't fit in the door.
701
00:38:39,467 --> 00:38:42,232
He does. Barry!
702
00:38:42,303 --> 00:38:45,364
Hey, I have no bad feelings
about Lou.
703
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,807
I'm glad he's so lucky.
704
00:38:47,876 --> 00:38:51,506
You know,
I'm glad that somebody's
treating you nice for a change.
705
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:55,277
I have some time for myself.
It's kinda, you know, it's--
706
00:38:55,350 --> 00:38:59,481
When I was with you,
I spent so much time
taking care of you,
707
00:38:59,554 --> 00:39:02,649
and Lou sometimes
even takes care of me.
708
00:39:03,725 --> 00:39:05,819
Um--
709
00:39:05,894 --> 00:39:08,056
I don't know.
It's a different lifestyle.
710
00:39:08,129 --> 00:39:10,189
You're like a carnival,
711
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:14,293
and he's more like
homogenized milk.
712
00:39:18,806 --> 00:39:21,241
Why are you staring at me?
713
00:39:22,810 --> 00:39:24,745
I miss you.
714
00:39:26,047 --> 00:39:27,982
I miss you too.
715
00:39:32,587 --> 00:39:35,022
What's this hold
you have on me?
716
00:39:36,758 --> 00:39:39,819
Love.
717
00:39:39,894 --> 00:39:43,524
I'm sorry.
I'm not supposed to say stuff
like that. I forgot.
718
00:39:43,598 --> 00:39:47,035
Barry,
what do you want me to do?
Fall in love with you again?
719
00:39:47,101 --> 00:39:49,036
Is that what this is about?
I don't want you
doing anything.
720
00:39:49,103 --> 00:39:54,132
I mean, you're here.
That's all I--
I'm happy that you're here.
721
00:39:54,208 --> 00:39:58,543
I-- I don't know--
I have to go
at the end of the day...
722
00:39:58,613 --> 00:40:00,878
or tomorrow...
723
00:40:00,949 --> 00:40:03,180
and I can't keep coming
back and forth.
724
00:40:03,251 --> 00:40:07,211
I-- You know,
you've got success.
725
00:40:07,288 --> 00:40:10,884
You know, the most
important thing is, you've
got to start loving yourself.
726
00:40:10,959 --> 00:40:13,656
You got that. You are good.
You are wonderful.
727
00:40:13,728 --> 00:40:17,563
Now, feel it and know
you have to have a life.
728
00:40:17,632 --> 00:40:20,830
Find someone
with a soul.
Mm-hmm.
729
00:40:20,902 --> 00:40:23,997
Don't just fall in love
with some girl's body.
730
00:40:25,707 --> 00:40:28,267
I mean, you do
like a girl's body,
didn't you?
731
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:32,508
The only problem was
I got caught.
Yeah, what can you do?
732
00:40:32,580 --> 00:40:34,811
Maybe you should've stayed
at your mom's that day.
733
00:40:35,083 --> 00:40:38,383
[Barry]
Tony, keep the taper nice
and tight around the waist.
734
00:40:38,453 --> 00:40:40,922
Judge wants to look hot
for his old lady.
735
00:40:40,989 --> 00:40:44,118
Don't you think these lapels
are too much for an
awards ceremony?
736
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:46,787
Judge, everyone's gonna
be wearing these lapels
by this time next year.
737
00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:49,194
Wait and see.
You need a shirt
to go with that.
738
00:40:49,263 --> 00:40:51,425
What do you think about
that referendum coming up?
739
00:40:51,499 --> 00:40:53,900
I was gonna ask you
the same question.
Perfect.
740
00:40:53,968 --> 00:40:57,632
Throwin' this in free of charge.
Gift from me and Teddy.
Very kind of you.
741
00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:00,470
Judge, you bring out
the woman in me.
You're gorgeous.
742
00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:02,442
Hey, good-looking.
743
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:06,277
Tony, why don't you
show the judge back
to the dressing rooms.
744
00:41:06,347 --> 00:41:09,374
I'll just take
this up for you.
Thank you.
745
00:41:09,450 --> 00:41:12,943
Been out shopping?
Buy any see-through undies?
Uh-huh.
746
00:41:14,155 --> 00:41:16,317
I thought we'd have
lunch together.
747
00:41:16,391 --> 00:41:18,553
Love to, babe.
Having lunch with the judge.
748
00:41:18,626 --> 00:41:20,720
He's gonna help me out with
that zoning variance
for the nightclub.
749
00:41:20,795 --> 00:41:23,162
Okay, work's important.
What about dinner?
750
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:25,791
I can't.
Moe Thompson's stag party.
751
00:41:25,867 --> 00:41:28,063
City Council president.
Come on.
752
00:41:28,136 --> 00:41:32,540
Make sure there are
no women.
Hey.
753
00:41:32,607 --> 00:41:36,772
Tomorrow night, you and me,
dinner, just the two of us.
The Caprice?
754
00:41:36,844 --> 00:41:41,612
Promise? Flowers?
Mariachi bands?
I promise. Tablecloths.
755
00:41:41,682 --> 00:41:43,708
Barry.
Music. What, Vince?
756
00:41:43,785 --> 00:41:47,085
Someone you gotta meet. Guess
who this is. Go ahead, guess.
What, Vince?
757
00:41:47,155 --> 00:41:49,124
I have no idea.
Your Cousin Al.
758
00:41:49,190 --> 00:41:51,921
No. What a joker.
Jeff, say something.
759
00:41:51,993 --> 00:41:55,259
What is this,
performing seal time?
Cut another caller off.
760
00:41:57,265 --> 00:42:00,292
You're history. Ptt!
You're on Talk of the town.
761
00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,837
You're Jeff Fisher.
762
00:42:03,905 --> 00:42:06,841
In my store. I can't
believe it. I listen
to your show all the time.
763
00:42:06,908 --> 00:42:10,174
You're great, man.
You look different
than I thought.
764
00:42:10,244 --> 00:42:13,942
- You thought I'd be 6'2",
in spurs?
- Yeah.
765
00:42:14,015 --> 00:42:16,780
This is my wife, Ellen.
Nice to meet you.
766
00:42:16,851 --> 00:42:21,346
- Yeah, the craziest people
call in that show.
- [Jeff Laughs]
767
00:42:21,422 --> 00:42:23,015
I think of calling
myself sometimes.
768
00:42:23,091 --> 00:42:26,755
You're too shy, right?
I can tell.
769
00:42:26,828 --> 00:42:29,161
Don't I listen
all the time?
He thinks you're God.
770
00:42:29,230 --> 00:42:32,530
Thank you, sir.
Wish we had your picture.
We could put it up.
771
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,762
I'll send you one.
You've got quite a voice.
772
00:42:34,836 --> 00:42:36,771
Voice?
You ever do radio?
773
00:42:36,838 --> 00:42:40,138
I've thought of
doing some radio.
Only came in for a second.
774
00:42:40,208 --> 00:42:43,337
I gotta run.
Listen, Vince,
send the jacket to my home.
775
00:42:43,411 --> 00:42:47,109
- Uh-- Uh--
What's your name?
- Barry. Barry Golden. Yeah.
776
00:42:47,181 --> 00:42:50,083
Anytime you're
in the neighborhood,
stop by the station.
777
00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:52,518
Love to show you around,
let you say a couple of words,
Yeah, sure.
778
00:42:52,587 --> 00:42:54,988
sell some suits,
plug the store.
779
00:42:55,056 --> 00:42:58,515
My secretary'll send
the picture. Don't forget
the sleeves. Nice meeting you.
780
00:42:58,593 --> 00:43:00,027
Bye-bye!
Bye!
781
00:43:00,094 --> 00:43:03,861
[Jeff]
The topic is
fantasy love affairs.
782
00:43:03,931 --> 00:43:07,095
Who would you like to have
a love affair with?
783
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:11,037
We're here with
our good friend, Barry.
What's your name this week?
784
00:43:11,105 --> 00:43:14,542
Barry Champlaign, man.
Barry Champlaign,
man, is here,
785
00:43:14,609 --> 00:43:17,135
and he has said
"his wife."
Mm-hmm.
786
00:43:17,211 --> 00:43:19,146
These are supposed to be
famous people,
787
00:43:19,213 --> 00:43:21,580
unless your wife's gotten around
a lot more than I think she has.
788
00:43:21,649 --> 00:43:23,675
Come on. Your wife's
not listening, okay?
789
00:43:23,751 --> 00:43:26,653
Who would you really like
to get up close
and personal with?
790
00:43:26,721 --> 00:43:30,954
Marie Osmond, I think,
is very sexy.
That's one for Marie Osmond.
791
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:34,792
In black leather, yeah.
The studio fish is blushing.
792
00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:38,765
She is sex incarnate, man.
She's a Mormon, isn't she?
793
00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:43,464
Mormons believe in bigamy.
Marie, I want to marry you
right now.
794
00:43:43,538 --> 00:43:46,940
Come down to the station.
I want you, Marie.
795
00:43:47,008 --> 00:43:51,070
Okay! We'll take
another caller. Yeah,
you're on Talk of the town.
796
00:43:51,145 --> 00:43:55,241
[Man] Yeah, you know
what I think? You two are
a couple of liberal pinkos.
797
00:43:55,316 --> 00:44:00,152
That's what I think.
Are you two homos?
Is that what you are?
798
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,156
You know what you are,
my friend, you are history.
799
00:44:02,223 --> 00:44:05,091
Wait.
The caller has a point.
800
00:44:05,159 --> 00:44:07,924
It's true, sir,
indeed, Jeff Fisher
and I are lovers.
801
00:44:07,995 --> 00:44:12,023
Have been for the last
15 years. In fact, we're
holding hands right now.
802
00:44:12,099 --> 00:44:14,864
Probably nigger lovers too.
Yeah, what race
are you, sir?
803
00:44:14,936 --> 00:44:16,871
I'm white,
and I'm proud of it.
804
00:44:16,938 --> 00:44:19,840
As one white man to another,
let me ask you a question.
805
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:23,776
Do you know how much
white Americans spend
every year on suntan lotion?
806
00:44:23,844 --> 00:44:28,839
$165 million!
807
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:31,476
That's a lot of money to spend
just to turn brown.
808
00:44:31,552 --> 00:44:34,021
You know why they
wanna turn brown?
Jeff, do you know why?
809
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:36,683
Let's take another caller.
This is an
interesting question.
810
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:39,784
They wanna turn brown
because they secretly
want to be black.
811
00:44:39,860 --> 00:44:41,920
You know why
they wanna be black?
These and other questions--
812
00:44:41,996 --> 00:44:43,931
Because they feel
sexually inferior.
813
00:44:43,998 --> 00:44:46,490
You're a smart-mouth homo.
That's what you are.
814
00:44:46,567 --> 00:44:48,661
Okay, okay.
You're an inbred throwback--
815
00:44:48,736 --> 00:44:53,868
Ha-hoo!
It's a Texas rodeo, yes indeed.
We'll hose 'em down...
816
00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:57,469
and be right back
after this commercial break.
817
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:00,946
[Commercial:
Man, Indistinct]
818
00:45:01,015 --> 00:45:03,450
When I say "cut,"
you stop talking.
819
00:45:05,319 --> 00:45:09,120
We've been through this before.
You're fun and the audience
likes you,
820
00:45:09,190 --> 00:45:11,853
but I'm not gonna lose
my license over this shit.
821
00:45:11,926 --> 00:45:14,157
Why would you lose
your license?
822
00:45:14,228 --> 00:45:18,063
- It's called
Standards and Prac--
- [Man] Jeff, pick up seven.
823
00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:22,832
Thank you.
Standards and Practices.
You ever heard of it? Yeah?
824
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:26,631
Oh, he's funny, yeah.
825
00:45:26,707 --> 00:45:28,801
Yeah, right, yeah, sure.
826
00:45:28,876 --> 00:45:31,243
Sells suits.
827
00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:33,679
Tomorrow at 10:00?
828
00:45:33,748 --> 00:45:36,183
I'll ask him.
Hold on.
829
00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:40,119
Can you come in
tomorrow morning,
meet the boss at 10:00?
830
00:45:40,187 --> 00:45:42,019
- What for?
- [Man]
What I would do is...
831
00:45:42,089 --> 00:45:44,285
have a swimming pool
and a sauna--
832
00:45:44,358 --> 00:45:46,589
Boring. Come on,
you could do better than that.
833
00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:48,721
Line four. Nancy, what would
you do with a million bucks?
834
00:45:48,796 --> 00:45:50,731
Barry,
I just love your show.
835
00:45:50,798 --> 00:45:54,200
Send me your measurements
and a nude photograph,
and I'll get back to you.
836
00:45:54,268 --> 00:45:56,169
Line one, Frank in Grapevine.
Yeah, Frank?
837
00:45:56,237 --> 00:45:59,298
I'm a Chicano--
Good for you. I'm a Jew.
838
00:45:59,373 --> 00:46:02,537
Now, this is serious, dude.
Wrong show.
839
00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:07,105
Look, Stu, I don't think
we've had a decent answer to
this question all night long.
840
00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:10,709
Now, come on, people,
you gotta give me a good answer,
841
00:46:10,785 --> 00:46:12,720
Yeah, hold on.
or I'm gonna punish ya.
842
00:46:12,787 --> 00:46:14,653
Okay, let's go to--
843
00:46:14,722 --> 00:46:18,318
Let's go to--
Here, talk to Barry.
Come on. Talk to Barry.
844
00:46:18,392 --> 00:46:22,329
Line one, you're on.
Say something, anything.
Ready? Say something.
845
00:46:22,396 --> 00:46:26,731
Say something.
Uh, yeah,
this is Cheryl Ann.
846
00:46:26,801 --> 00:46:29,862
What are you gonna do
with a million bucks,
Cheryl Ann?
847
00:46:29,937 --> 00:46:33,874
If I had a million bucks,
I would buy my own
radio transmitter...
848
00:46:33,941 --> 00:46:36,172
and start my own
talk show,
849
00:46:36,243 --> 00:46:38,576
so I wouldn't have to listen
to your voice.
850
00:46:38,646 --> 00:46:41,878
If you hate my voice so much,
why don't you change
the station?
851
00:46:41,949 --> 00:46:44,714
I can't.
Why not.
852
00:46:44,785 --> 00:46:49,120
I'm in prison, and the warden
picks the shows we listen to.
853
00:46:49,190 --> 00:46:51,853
Good.
You're lying.
You love my voice.
854
00:46:51,926 --> 00:46:54,259
I hate your voice.
You love my voice.
855
00:46:54,328 --> 00:46:58,060
It's a love-hate situation.
You can't get enough
of my voice.
856
00:46:58,132 --> 00:47:01,330
Come on. Admit it.
You're full of it!
857
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:04,372
[Laughs] If you don't
love my voice, then hang up.
Come on. Hang up.
858
00:47:04,438 --> 00:47:06,930
You love me. Come on.
Hang up. Hang up!
859
00:47:07,007 --> 00:47:10,307
I hate you,
Barry Champlaign!
860
00:47:10,378 --> 00:47:12,847
[Stu]
Beautiful. I love it.
[Dial Tone]
861
00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:16,577
Not good enough. Folks,
you let me down once again.
862
00:47:16,650 --> 00:47:19,017
For that,
you must be punished.
863
00:47:19,086 --> 00:47:22,579
This is the Bee Gees,
and this one's going out
to you, Cheryl Ann,
864
00:47:22,656 --> 00:47:26,684
singing "Saturday Night Fever"
ten times in a row.
865
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:30,323
- ♪♪ [Disco]
- Best call we've had in
a couple of weeks, I swear.
866
00:47:30,398 --> 00:47:33,095
That was great, honey.
We gotta get Cheryl Ann
calling more often.
867
00:47:33,167 --> 00:47:35,693
They're eating this stuff up,
Barry. See that piece
in the paper today?
868
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:39,263
The thing about me
looking for a bodyguard?
Great publicity.
869
00:47:39,340 --> 00:47:41,434
You want this ten times
in a row, seriously?
870
00:47:41,509 --> 00:47:43,740
No, make it three times.
I'll be back in a minute.
871
00:47:43,811 --> 00:47:45,871
Three it is.
Beautiful show. I love it.
872
00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:47,881
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
873
00:47:49,216 --> 00:47:52,482
- ♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪♪
- In here?
874
00:47:53,554 --> 00:47:55,489
Ooh.
875
00:48:08,836 --> 00:48:12,136
That was great.
The kiss or the call?
876
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:15,573
Dan just gave me
some good news.
877
00:48:15,643 --> 00:48:17,839
I'm getting
the 10:00 a.m. slot.
878
00:48:17,912 --> 00:48:20,245
He's hiring a producer
just for my own show.
879
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:25,719
Oh, Barry,
that's wonderful.
Yeah. You wanna do it?
880
00:48:25,786 --> 00:48:29,382
Huh?
You'd be the best person
to do it.
881
00:48:29,457 --> 00:48:34,486
You're smart, you're
hardworking, you do
everything I tell you to do.
882
00:48:34,562 --> 00:48:39,364
Um, Barry, I think you
better get someone else.
883
00:48:39,433 --> 00:48:42,995
I don't think
it's a good idea.
It's a great idea.
884
00:48:43,070 --> 00:48:44,663
Come on.
You gotta do it.
885
00:48:44,738 --> 00:48:49,267
No, I don't think so.
Do it. Come on.
I need you.
886
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:54,873
Barry, if I work for you,
the fun would go out it,
you know?
887
00:48:54,949 --> 00:48:58,886
There'd be a lot of tension.
It might even screw up
our marriage.
888
00:48:58,953 --> 00:49:03,414
Fuck our marriage.
Come on. This is important.
I need you.
889
00:49:03,491 --> 00:49:07,087
Don't you want the show
to be as good as it can be?
Aren't you behind me?
890
00:49:07,161 --> 00:49:11,462
You gotta be joking.
Of course I'm not joking.
891
00:49:11,532 --> 00:49:13,899
You just said,
"Fuck our marriage."
892
00:49:16,570 --> 00:49:18,505
I'm joking.
893
00:49:18,572 --> 00:49:22,009
This is getting really boring.
I'm gonna switch it, all right?
894
00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:26,814
I just thought that--
895
00:49:28,582 --> 00:49:30,517
Forget it.
896
00:49:36,156 --> 00:49:38,091
I'm very proud of you.
897
00:49:40,027 --> 00:49:42,121
It's wonderful for you.
898
00:49:44,331 --> 00:49:46,266
Come on. Okay?
899
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:50,868
Hmm?
Come on. Okay?
900
00:49:56,010 --> 00:49:58,980
♪♪ [Reggae,
Vocals Indistinct]
901
00:49:59,046 --> 00:50:04,610
Barry?
[Woman Squeals]
902
00:50:04,685 --> 00:50:07,154
[Woman]
Baby, I don't wanna go
in the sink.
903
00:50:07,221 --> 00:50:09,452
[Stu]
Yeah! In the sink!
904
00:50:09,523 --> 00:50:11,492
[Both Giggling]
905
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,225
I don't wanna go
in the sink.
906
00:50:15,296 --> 00:50:18,289
Oh-ho!
Hi, Ellen!
907
00:50:18,365 --> 00:50:20,630
Hi, Stu.
908
00:50:20,701 --> 00:50:23,637
- Are you having a party?
- Yeah, a sink party.
909
00:50:25,406 --> 00:50:30,401
Oh, uh, hi, hon.
My mother wasn't feeling well,
so I decided to come home.
910
00:50:31,745 --> 00:50:34,613
Ellen, I thought you
and your mother were--
911
00:50:35,816 --> 00:50:38,217
uh--
Eh--
912
00:50:38,285 --> 00:50:41,983
Um, what--
[Both Giggle]
913
00:50:42,056 --> 00:50:44,150
what are you two up to?
914
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,897
- Look, I better go out
and come back in.
- [Woman] Barry, come back.
915
00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:54,231
You cut me off!
916
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:58,466
Hey, Theresa, come here.
Come with Stuey,
917
00:50:58,539 --> 00:51:03,375
and have a Stuey sandwich
with Mimi and Stuey.
918
00:51:16,223 --> 00:51:17,691
You want one?
919
00:51:17,758 --> 00:51:19,693
No.
920
00:51:39,113 --> 00:51:42,606
[Man]
He became a millionaire.
How about that?
921
00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:44,914
Brings back memories.
922
00:51:44,985 --> 00:51:48,979
A lot of changes.
I'm nicer,
I make more money...
923
00:51:49,056 --> 00:51:51,423
and I only hang up
on one out of seven.
924
00:51:51,492 --> 00:51:56,123
...with Dallas'
own Mr. Popularity,
Barry Champlaign.
925
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:59,655
I'm Sidney Greenberg,
reminding you that it's
not how much you take,
926
00:51:59,733 --> 00:52:02,703
it's how much
you take home.
927
00:52:02,770 --> 00:52:04,705
Hey!
928
00:52:04,772 --> 00:52:07,936
How's Chicago?
You look great.
Great.
You look great too.
929
00:52:08,008 --> 00:52:09,943
Ellen, what are you
doing here?
930
00:52:10,010 --> 00:52:12,605
I couldn't miss
Barry's premiere.
931
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:15,707
Yeah, we only have
a couple of minutes.
You mind if I steal Barry?
932
00:52:15,783 --> 00:52:18,617
You know where the green room
is. Have a cup of coffee.
We'll catch up.
933
00:52:18,686 --> 00:52:20,621
Sure. Bye.
934
00:52:25,693 --> 00:52:29,630
Evening, Barry.
I have two minutes.
What is it?
935
00:52:29,697 --> 00:52:33,395
I'll make it brief.
I know you've got
your show to do.
936
00:52:33,467 --> 00:52:36,904
Barry, we've run
into some slight
scheduling problems...
937
00:52:36,970 --> 00:52:38,905
concerning
the national feed.
938
00:52:38,972 --> 00:52:42,033
We're gonna have to
delay it for at least
a couple of weeks.
939
00:52:49,383 --> 00:52:51,875
Hi, Stuey.
940
00:52:51,952 --> 00:52:55,650
- Ellen! Holy cow!
I knew you'd show up.
- [Delighted Squeal]
941
00:52:55,723 --> 00:53:00,991
Jesus, let me look at you here.
Are you taking young pills
or something?
942
00:53:01,061 --> 00:53:03,223
Wanna step into
my crib with me?
You must be excited.
943
00:53:03,297 --> 00:53:05,391
Oh, yeah,
I'm jumping out of my skin.
You kidding me?
944
00:53:05,466 --> 00:53:08,402
I called my mother and told her
we're gonna broadcast
all over the country.
945
00:53:08,469 --> 00:53:12,463
She says,
"Stuart, that's beautiful.
What country?"
946
00:53:12,539 --> 00:53:14,940
Good to see you.
It's good to see you.
947
00:53:15,008 --> 00:53:18,137
Hi, I'm Laura Nicholson.
I spoke to you on the phone.
Hi.
948
00:53:18,212 --> 00:53:20,579
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
You must be Barry's secretary.
949
00:53:20,647 --> 00:53:25,415
No, actually, I'm his producer.
We're going in a few seconds.
Excuse me.
950
00:53:25,486 --> 00:53:28,115
♪♪ [Blues Rock]
951
00:53:28,188 --> 00:53:31,750
- Let's go.
- [Announcer] From the heart
of the Lone Star state,
952
00:53:31,825 --> 00:53:36,092
it's time for Dallas'
most popular talk show,
Night Talk...
953
00:53:36,163 --> 00:53:40,533
- with Barry Champlaign.
- ♪ Bad to bone♪♪
954
00:53:40,601 --> 00:53:44,470
The KGAB phone lines are open
and ready for your call...
955
00:53:44,538 --> 00:53:46,507
at 555-TALK.
956
00:53:46,573 --> 00:53:51,238
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Isn't this exciting?
957
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,870
I've just received
some terrible news.
958
00:53:52,946 --> 00:53:55,211
Night Talk will not be broadcast
nationally tonight...
959
00:53:55,282 --> 00:53:58,150
due to the usual corporate,
big business, inefficiency,
960
00:53:58,218 --> 00:54:00,084
sloppiness and bureaucracy.
961
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:02,316
I've just been informed
of a scheduling problem.
962
00:54:02,389 --> 00:54:05,553
Nothing personal,
nothing logical,
just business as usual.
963
00:54:05,626 --> 00:54:10,030
Maybe the show will go national
next week, maybe next month.
964
00:54:10,097 --> 00:54:12,498
No one seems to know.
I'm sorry.
965
00:54:12,566 --> 00:54:15,593
I feel I've let you,
the listeners, down.
966
00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:17,535
But I've been in this business
long enough to know
you can lose the battle...
967
00:54:17,604 --> 00:54:19,539
and still win the war.
968
00:54:19,773 --> 00:54:24,108
Night Talk still has a purpose,
a standard to which
it must rise,
969
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:26,773
and I will not let you down
on that score.
970
00:54:26,847 --> 00:54:30,045
This show is about saying
what's got to be said.
971
00:54:30,117 --> 00:54:32,143
That's what
we're gonna do here tonight.
972
00:54:32,219 --> 00:54:34,415
Tonight, anything goes.
973
00:54:34,488 --> 00:54:38,255
I wanna hear you.
I want you to tell me
what you really think.
974
00:54:38,325 --> 00:54:43,229
No holds barred.
Call 555-TALK.
I'm sorry.
975
00:54:43,297 --> 00:54:48,702
The door is open.
Hit me with your best shot.
976
00:54:51,138 --> 00:54:53,403
Night Talk.
Jerry from Rockwell.
977
00:54:54,508 --> 00:54:56,477
You're on.
Barry.
978
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:59,138
have you ever entertained
one single doubt...
979
00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:01,148
about the truth
of the Holocaust?
980
00:55:09,656 --> 00:55:11,818
I think we've had
this conversation before, sir.
981
00:55:11,892 --> 00:55:15,351
When you make these accusations
against Jews, when you
start questioning the Holocaust,
982
00:55:15,429 --> 00:55:18,797
I think you should have
some facts available,
and the facts are available.
983
00:55:18,866 --> 00:55:22,132
Well, of course.
We'd love to sit down
and debate them with you.
984
00:55:22,202 --> 00:55:24,603
Uh-huh. Well, who's "we"?
Am I talking to
a "we" or a "you"?
985
00:55:24,671 --> 00:55:27,072
Well, Barry, we're
organized in our belief...
986
00:55:27,140 --> 00:55:30,201
the same way the Zionists
are organized in their belief.
987
00:55:30,277 --> 00:55:33,247
We could debate it.
It would be
very easy and simple.
988
00:55:33,313 --> 00:55:35,839
It would be far more simple
and valuable for you
to get in touch with,
989
00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,044
let's say,
the Holocaust Museum
down in Washington.
990
00:55:38,118 --> 00:55:40,053
Uh-huh.
They'll send you the names
of all the Jews...
991
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,055
who died during World War II.
992
00:55:42,122 --> 00:55:45,684
They have all this information.
I mean, the first one to say
if somebody made a mistake--
993
00:55:45,759 --> 00:55:49,628
They say six million died?
It could've been five million
or seven million.
994
00:55:49,696 --> 00:55:52,063
It could be two also.
995
00:55:52,132 --> 00:55:55,830
Is that the issue?
That two million
innocent people died?
996
00:55:55,903 --> 00:55:59,362
Why should one single innocent
person die, Jew or non-Jew?
I agree.
997
00:55:59,439 --> 00:56:04,070
But the Zionists are using
this issue and the guilt
on the American public...
998
00:56:04,144 --> 00:56:06,079
to extort from us
our tax dollars.
999
00:56:06,146 --> 00:56:09,082
The figures we have say
every family in Israel...
1000
00:56:09,149 --> 00:56:12,210
gets over $10,000
of our taxes.
1001
00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:14,778
Well, you'll never see
more collective poverty
than in Israel.
1002
00:56:14,855 --> 00:56:18,121
I urge you to take a trip there.
All you got to do, Barry,
is go to West Virginia.
1003
00:56:18,191 --> 00:56:21,093
What does West Virginia
have to do with it?
Or Nebraska or Idaho,
1004
00:56:21,161 --> 00:56:23,995
- where you'll see farmer
after farmer biting the dust,
- Mm-hmm.
1005
00:56:24,064 --> 00:56:26,295
- losing their farms,
can't get decent loans.
- Yeah.
1006
00:56:26,366 --> 00:56:28,699
If we had the loans and grants
that are sent to Israel,
1007
00:56:28,769 --> 00:56:32,228
we wouldn't be losing our farms,
which is the backbone
of this country.
1008
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,504
And what if a woman competes
with you in the marketplace
and takes your job?
1009
00:56:35,575 --> 00:56:38,670
What if black men start dating
and marrying white women?
Oh!
1010
00:56:38,745 --> 00:56:40,680
And what if homosexuals
are teaching your children?
1011
00:56:40,747 --> 00:56:42,682
And what if you're afraid
to walk the streets at night?
1012
00:56:42,749 --> 00:56:45,617
What if you see yuppies getting
rich while you're standing
in the unemployment line?
1013
00:56:45,686 --> 00:56:48,520
And what if your government
sends you to Vietnam...
1014
00:56:48,588 --> 00:56:51,023
to fight a war they have
no chance of winning?
1015
00:56:51,091 --> 00:56:54,186
And what if your country
is slipping away, lost?
1016
00:56:54,261 --> 00:56:56,253
I know the argument, friend.
1017
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:59,892
It's the great theory
of history.
I've heard it before.
1018
00:56:59,967 --> 00:57:01,902
It says,
"When things ain't good,
1019
00:57:01,969 --> 00:57:04,131
"instead of getting down
and doing something about it,
1020
00:57:04,204 --> 00:57:07,641
instead of changing your life,
it's a hell of a lot easier
to blame somebody else."
1021
00:57:07,708 --> 00:57:09,643
And it just don't wash
in my book.
1022
00:57:09,710 --> 00:57:12,202
Well, that's
a very nice speech, Barry,
Mm-hmm.
1023
00:57:12,279 --> 00:57:15,738
but it seems to me
you're making pretty good money
on that station.
1024
00:57:15,816 --> 00:57:18,081
And since you're an outsider
to these parts and all,
1025
00:57:18,151 --> 00:57:20,985
it seems difficult, I guess,
to relate to the
common-folk problems out here.
1026
00:57:21,054 --> 00:57:24,115
There is no room
for self-pity, sir,
in my life or yours.
1027
00:57:24,191 --> 00:57:28,151
Now, you ought to read
the Turner Diaries, Barry, by
William Pierce. It's all there.
1028
00:57:28,228 --> 00:57:30,163
Mm-hmm.
It says--
1029
00:57:30,230 --> 00:57:32,358
Yes, I'm familiar with
that novel-- a product
of the enlightened man.
1030
00:57:32,432 --> 00:57:35,698
- Now, let me finish!
- [Stu]
Barry, I got Beauty on five.
1031
00:57:35,769 --> 00:57:38,796
What it does is lays out the
plan for the coming revolution.
Mm-hmm.
1032
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:42,832
See, the word "America, " Barry,
means "heavenly kingdom"
in the Gothic language.
1033
00:57:42,909 --> 00:57:45,276
Yeah.
It's the real new Jerusalem
of Scripture.
1034
00:57:45,345 --> 00:57:47,837
It shows you how the Jews
are impostors who took--
1035
00:57:47,914 --> 00:57:50,213
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For those of you
who don't know it,
1036
00:57:50,283 --> 00:57:54,687
it starts idiotically enough
in the year 1991.
That's correct.
1037
00:57:54,755 --> 00:57:58,817
It's written as a diary
by a young, white, racist,
electrical engineer...
1038
00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:01,828
who joins an underground
paramilitary organization...
1039
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:04,228
known as "The Order."
That's right.
1040
00:58:04,297 --> 00:58:06,266
Oh, am I doing all right?
Oh, great.
1041
00:58:06,333 --> 00:58:08,666
They institute a revolution
against ZOG,
1042
00:58:08,735 --> 00:58:11,933
the Zionist Occupied Government
of America.
1043
00:58:12,005 --> 00:58:15,169
And along the way, they kill
all the mongrel races--
1044
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:18,178
Jews, blacks,
homosexuals, feminists...
1045
00:58:18,245 --> 00:58:20,544
and other mud people.
1046
00:58:20,614 --> 00:58:23,243
It's an idiotic book
written for people
with bubblegum brains...
1047
00:58:23,316 --> 00:58:25,751
who never got out
of the fourth grade,
watching reruns of The Blob.
1048
00:58:25,819 --> 00:58:28,550
[Jerry]
Easy, Barry.
You're part of the problem.
1049
00:58:28,622 --> 00:58:30,716
You're another Jew,
another weed-eating Jew,
1050
00:58:30,791 --> 00:58:32,726
in control of the media
of this country.
1051
00:58:32,793 --> 00:58:36,525
And from there,
you pass judgement on that
which you don't know.
1052
00:58:36,596 --> 00:58:40,226
And there will come a day
for you, Barry, and
thousands of others like you--
1053
00:58:40,300 --> 00:58:42,895
who have slept with black women,
who have lied to us--
1054
00:58:42,969 --> 00:58:46,133
when you will hang
from your neck with
a placard around it saying,
1055
00:58:46,206 --> 00:58:49,142
"I betrayed my race."
[Line Disconnects]
1056
00:58:50,277 --> 00:58:52,212
[Bell Dings]
1057
00:58:52,279 --> 00:58:55,443
[Barry]
Well, what can you say to
a paranoid schizophrenic...
1058
00:58:55,515 --> 00:58:58,542
who's a co ward for hanging up,
except that I guess
the day that I hang,
1059
00:58:58,618 --> 00:59:01,247
I'll probably defend the asshole
who hung me.
1060
00:59:01,321 --> 00:59:05,588
Talk radio.
Free speech isn't really
free at all.
1061
00:59:05,659 --> 00:59:09,152
It's actually a little bit
like Russian roulette.
A very expensive commodity.
1062
00:59:09,229 --> 00:59:11,664
You never know what's gonna
come up the next time
you push the button.
1063
00:59:11,731 --> 00:59:14,098
Yeah, you're on Night Talk.
[Woman]
I changed my name...
1064
00:59:14,167 --> 00:59:17,137
and didn't have any trouble
getting Social Security.
1065
00:59:17,204 --> 00:59:20,504
My birth certificate has
my name spelled differently.
1066
00:59:20,574 --> 00:59:22,770
And I--
Hello?
1067
00:59:22,843 --> 00:59:26,541
Yeah, it's very interesting.
What's your view on
lesbian priests?
1068
00:59:26,613 --> 00:59:29,208
My view on what?
How about masturbation?
1069
00:59:29,282 --> 00:59:31,308
You got any view on that?
No, I don't.
1070
00:59:31,384 --> 00:59:34,445
How about that law in Arizona
where it's a felony...
1071
00:59:34,521 --> 00:59:36,490
to go around with
an erection in your pants?
1072
00:59:36,556 --> 00:59:39,993
What do you think about that?
Well, I-I'm not really
calling about that.
1073
00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:41,824
Mm-hmm.
If they wanna do it,
let 'em do it.
1074
00:59:41,895 --> 00:59:43,830
[Woman Continues]
Yeah, what?
1075
00:59:43,897 --> 00:59:45,866
Kent's on three.
I don't think you
should take the call.
1076
00:59:45,932 --> 00:59:48,561
Lose him, Barry.
Barry? Hello?
1077
00:59:48,635 --> 00:59:51,696
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's just fine for you.
Tell him to shoot it to me.
1078
00:59:51,771 --> 00:59:54,070
Hello, Barry? Hello?
Well, good, good.
1079
00:59:54,141 --> 00:59:56,337
That's good for you.
1080
00:59:56,409 --> 00:59:58,537
Gee, tonight's just
a walk down memory lane.
1081
00:59:59,980 --> 01:00:00,879
And we have Kent with us
once again.
1082
01:00:00,947 --> 01:00:04,179
Yeah, Kent.
I didn't mean
to hang up on you.
1083
01:00:04,251 --> 01:00:07,779
Yeah, but you did.
Listen, Kent, you're a fake.
You're a hoax.
1084
01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:10,380
You call up with some
fake-o story about how
you and your girlfriend...
1085
01:00:10,457 --> 01:00:12,688
are taking drugs
and she's O.D.'d...
1086
01:00:12,759 --> 01:00:14,853
and your parents
are in Acapulco.
Fiji.
1087
01:00:14,928 --> 01:00:16,863
Oh, Fiji, right.
An important detail.
1088
01:00:16,930 --> 01:00:19,297
You're just this poor,
mixed-up kid.
You don't know what to do.
1089
01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:23,326
- [Kent Sobbing]
I think she's dead!
- What are you trying to tell me?
1090
01:00:23,403 --> 01:00:26,271
- That your girlfriend O.D.'d?
Now she's dead?
- [Kent] I don't know, okay?
1091
01:00:26,339 --> 01:00:30,572
I just can't get her
to wake up!
Yeah, we heard that already.
1092
01:00:30,644 --> 01:00:32,670
There's foam coming out
of her mouth.
What?
1093
01:00:32,746 --> 01:00:35,011
- Foam coming out of her mouth.
- [Barry Continues]
1094
01:00:35,081 --> 01:00:38,245
Let's dump this guy, now.
It's Barry's show, boss.
1095
01:00:38,318 --> 01:00:40,253
That's it. That's it.
[Kent]
Listen!
1096
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,516
My parents are in Fiji,
okay?
1097
01:00:42,589 --> 01:00:45,889
And the stuff
about my girlfriend--
Yeah, what?
1098
01:00:45,959 --> 01:00:48,053
She--
Come on, Kent.
Spit it out.
1099
01:00:48,128 --> 01:00:51,394
- [Kent]
No, you'll cut me off!
- I won't cut you off, Kent.
1100
01:00:51,464 --> 01:00:54,298
[Writing]
You promise?
1101
01:00:54,367 --> 01:00:57,462
I promise I won't
cut you off, Kent.
1102
01:00:59,539 --> 01:01:03,601
I made the whole thing up!
[Laughing]
1103
01:01:03,677 --> 01:01:05,612
[Laughter Continues]
1104
01:01:11,051 --> 01:01:13,543
Kent? I lied.
I'm cutting you off.
What?
1105
01:01:13,620 --> 01:01:16,215
Get the hell out of here.
No, please!
Look, I'm not lying!
1106
01:01:16,289 --> 01:01:18,258
I gotta talk to you.
You gotta talk to me?
1107
01:01:18,325 --> 01:01:20,726
What are you gonna
talk about? Your mother
just slit her wrists?
1108
01:01:20,794 --> 01:01:22,729
She's bleeding to death?
[Laughing]
1109
01:01:22,796 --> 01:01:25,561
How about your father?
Got a shotgun in his mouth?
Gonna blow his brains out?
1110
01:01:25,632 --> 01:01:28,124
Tell me, who else is dead?
Come on. Who's dead, Kent?
1111
01:01:28,201 --> 01:01:30,397
Who's dead?
Who's dead?
Tell me, who's dead?
1112
01:01:30,470 --> 01:01:32,666
No one's dead!
No one's dead, Barry.
1113
01:01:32,739 --> 01:01:34,674
Come on. Look.
[Sniffles]
1114
01:01:34,741 --> 01:01:37,301
I just wanted to talk.
We're talking.
You got two seconds. Talk.
1115
01:01:37,377 --> 01:01:40,211
Okay, I listen to you
all the time, you know.
Mm-hmm.
1116
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,011
I think about
what you say, Bar.
Yeah.
1117
01:01:43,083 --> 01:01:45,780
You say such cool stuff.
Mm-hmm.
1118
01:01:45,852 --> 01:01:48,720
Well, I just didn't know
what to say, you know.
1119
01:01:48,788 --> 01:01:52,657
Look, I wanted to meet you.
1120
01:01:52,726 --> 01:01:54,786
Now you're goofing on me.
You wanted to meet me?
1121
01:01:54,861 --> 01:01:58,127
You can meet me
anytime you want.
I'm right here in the station.
1122
01:01:58,198 --> 01:02:00,667
- [Kent] You're at the station?
- I'm not the president,
for God's sakes.
1123
01:02:00,734 --> 01:02:02,999
I'm right here, downtown,
in the studio.
1124
01:02:03,069 --> 01:02:05,800
So I could just come down?
You could just come down.
1125
01:02:05,872 --> 01:02:08,307
- Now? Right now?
[Chuckling]
- Now.
1126
01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:12,044
What do you mean,
right now?
[Kent] Right now.
1127
01:02:12,112 --> 01:02:15,810
I'll just come down.
I'm on the air, Kent.
1128
01:02:15,882 --> 01:02:19,080
[Kent Yelling]
Please?
1129
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:22,922
Sure, Kent. Why not?
Come on down.
Really?
1130
01:02:22,989 --> 01:02:24,924
- I'd love to meet you.
Just hurry up.
- All right!
1131
01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:27,358
I'm halfway through the show.
We're at the end
of the first hour...
1132
01:02:27,427 --> 01:02:30,329
of exciting and intellectual
conversation here on Night Talk.
1133
01:02:30,397 --> 01:02:32,559
Don't go a way.
We have the news
and the weather coming up.
1134
01:02:32,632 --> 01:02:35,033
And then we'll be back
with more Night Talk.
1135
01:02:35,101 --> 01:02:37,036
[Commercial: Man, Indistinct]
1136
01:02:37,103 --> 01:02:39,038
Barry.
[Barry]
Dan.
1137
01:02:39,105 --> 01:02:41,165
Laura, call down
and tell Security
there's a kid coming.
1138
01:02:41,241 --> 01:02:43,676
Dan, you want anything?
Coffee? Tea? Insulin?
1139
01:02:43,743 --> 01:02:45,678
Crack?
We have it all right here.
1140
01:02:45,745 --> 01:02:48,214
Barry, you should ask me
if you wanna have
a guest on the show.
1141
01:02:48,281 --> 01:02:50,910
Why?
'Cause I'm the boss, Barry.
That's why.
1142
01:02:50,984 --> 01:02:53,249
Dan, I'll do my job,
you do yours, okay?
1143
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,346
He is not coming on
the show. That's it.
We have too much riding...
1144
01:02:55,422 --> 01:02:58,290
on what's going on here
tonight.
What's going on here tonight?
1145
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:01,692
If they think for one minute
that you're undependable,
it's over.
1146
01:03:01,761 --> 01:03:04,128
Dan, MetroWave bought my show.
All right?
1147
01:03:04,197 --> 01:03:06,996
This is my show.
I put who I want on my show.
1148
01:03:07,067 --> 01:03:09,696
If I wanna have
Charlie Manson on my show,
I'll put him on the show.
1149
01:03:09,769 --> 01:03:12,671
Or Ted Bundy--
Or how about this.
I have David Berkowitz,
1150
01:03:12,739 --> 01:03:14,708
Bernard Goetz,
John Hinckley on.
1151
01:03:14,774 --> 01:03:17,369
We do a special
on gun control.
How would that be?
1152
01:03:17,444 --> 01:03:20,414
Or how about
that postman from Oklahoma
who killed 14 people, Dan?
1153
01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:23,245
- He killed his boss.
We bring him on the show.
- [Whistles] Cut.
1154
01:03:23,316 --> 01:03:25,342
We bring you on
as a special guest.
Out. Out.
1155
01:03:25,418 --> 01:03:27,910
We're gonna bring these guys
on the show.
We'll have a terrific show.
1156
01:03:27,987 --> 01:03:30,081
Oh, boy, this'll be great.
1157
01:03:30,156 --> 01:03:33,024
That's funny stuff, Barry,
the mailman who killed his boss.
1158
01:03:33,093 --> 01:03:35,756
Did you see what the mailman
brought me today?
1159
01:03:35,829 --> 01:03:37,923
Huh?
1160
01:03:37,997 --> 01:03:40,626
We got half the wackos
within 20 miles of this place...
1161
01:03:40,700 --> 01:03:43,499
saying how much they wanna
"burn your Jew ass."
1162
01:03:43,570 --> 01:03:47,507
Think about that, Barry.
The time it takes to sit down
and write that on paper,
1163
01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,907
put it in an envelope,
lick it,
send it to the station.
1164
01:03:49,976 --> 01:03:52,445
And I've got boxes
of this shit in my office.
[Telephone Ringing]
1165
01:03:52,512 --> 01:03:55,607
These people
are dead serious.
1166
01:03:55,682 --> 01:03:59,141
All I'm suggesting is that
you simply pull it back,
just for a little bit.
1167
01:03:59,219 --> 01:04:01,154
I think you're a little
out of your depth, Dan.
1168
01:04:01,221 --> 01:04:04,555
I think it's time--
Just stop talking and listen
to me for two minutes!
1169
01:04:04,624 --> 01:04:06,559
You don't have an audience
in here now to cheer you on.
1170
01:04:06,626 --> 01:04:10,461
You do whatever you want
to tonight, Barry.
Have fun. Blow the deal.
1171
01:04:10,530 --> 01:04:13,022
I'm not gonna say I don't care,
because I worked
very hard on this.
1172
01:04:13,099 --> 01:04:16,536
- I worked my ass off on this.
- This is my life
you're talking about.
1173
01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:21,405
No, what you are, Barry,
is a fucking suit salesman
with a big mouth.
1174
01:04:21,474 --> 01:04:23,807
Let's call a spade a spade.
1175
01:04:23,877 --> 01:04:26,039
It's a job.
That's all it is.
1176
01:04:26,112 --> 01:04:28,638
You can come in here
and start predicting Armageddon
if you want to, Barry.
1177
01:04:28,715 --> 01:04:30,650
But it's still a job.
1178
01:04:30,717 --> 01:04:33,482
A job you did not even know
how to do...
1179
01:04:33,553 --> 01:04:35,545
until I taught it to you!
1180
01:04:35,622 --> 01:04:38,456
What do you think you're doing
in here, changing the world?
1181
01:04:38,525 --> 01:04:42,519
This is a talk show, Barry,
and you are a talk show host.
1182
01:04:42,595 --> 01:04:45,690
Alan does the drive time,
Jerry does the home
handyman stuff,
1183
01:04:45,765 --> 01:04:49,668
Sheila does the shrink stuff,
Sid does the financial stuff,
and you hang up on people.
1184
01:04:49,736 --> 01:04:51,898
That's your job.
1185
01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:54,065
Now, you're very good at it.
You're the joker in my deck,
1186
01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:56,439
and I'm very happy
for your success.
1187
01:04:56,509 --> 01:04:58,444
But you work for me!
1188
01:04:58,511 --> 01:05:00,446
I'm your boss.
1189
01:05:02,515 --> 01:05:05,508
You wanna have the kid
on the show?
Have him on!
1190
01:05:05,585 --> 01:05:08,646
But you get one thing straight.
You fuck up my deal,
1191
01:05:08,721 --> 01:05:11,452
and you go back to selling
double-knit suits.
1192
01:05:24,671 --> 01:05:26,640
I'm glad you take it
all so seriously, Barry,
1193
01:05:26,706 --> 01:05:29,471
but you gotta learn when to stop
or it's gonna kill you.
1194
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:37,949
Go get the kid.
The kid is not
a good idea, Barry.
1195
01:05:38,017 --> 01:05:40,748
You're on his side, aren't you?
No, I want you to think
about the show.
1196
01:05:40,820 --> 01:05:45,417
You could lose everything
that you've worked for
and everything I've worked for.
1197
01:05:45,492 --> 01:05:47,518
Get the kid.
[Sighs]
1198
01:05:47,594 --> 01:05:49,688
[Ellen]
It's very important to Barry.
1199
01:05:49,762 --> 01:05:51,754
It's a very important moment
in his life.
1200
01:05:51,831 --> 01:05:54,699
Yes, he is important to me.
He is important.
1201
01:05:57,270 --> 01:06:00,240
Look, Lou,
he's a fuckin' basket case.
1202
01:06:00,306 --> 01:06:03,071
Lou-- All right, all right.
Forget it. Forget it.
1203
01:06:03,142 --> 01:06:06,806
I'll just stay to see
the show tonight, and then
I'll be home tomorrow, okay?
1204
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,111
Love you.
1205
01:06:09,182 --> 01:06:11,549
Yeah. Hey.
1206
01:06:11,618 --> 01:06:13,951
Just pretend I'm visiting
a sick relative.
1207
01:06:14,020 --> 01:06:16,012
All right?
1208
01:06:16,089 --> 01:06:18,490
[Makes Kissing Sound]
Bye.
1209
01:06:18,558 --> 01:06:20,493
Yeah.
1210
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:30,493
Night Talk. We're back.
This is the spirit
of Barry Champlaign.
1211
01:06:30,570 --> 01:06:33,369
- Joe, hit me
with your best shot.
- [Joe] Yeah, Barry.
1212
01:06:33,439 --> 01:06:35,840
I've been driving a cab now
for about 11 years.
1213
01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:39,004
I've met all kinds.
I know people.
I wish I did.
1214
01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:41,013
Let me tell you
something, friend.
1215
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:44,881
That kid who just called,
what he needs is
a good bust in the chops.
1216
01:06:44,951 --> 01:06:48,319
Think that would do it, Joe?
Kid like that
needs some discipline.
1217
01:06:48,388 --> 01:06:51,517
Discipline?
I got two kids, Barry.
1218
01:06:51,591 --> 01:06:54,584
They give me any trouble,
I just take off my belt.
1219
01:06:54,661 --> 01:06:56,960
They see the belt,
that's it.
1220
01:06:57,030 --> 01:07:01,934
How old are your children, Joe?
Little girl's five,
boy's three and a half.
1221
01:07:02,001 --> 01:07:06,996
You hit them with a belt?
Brush, belt, newspaper.
Whatever.
1222
01:07:07,073 --> 01:07:10,840
Hey, they're either gonna
get it from me or they're
gonna get it out there.
1223
01:07:10,910 --> 01:07:13,812
Joe, I think you need
professional help.
What's that?
1224
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:15,815
You need to get together
with Jerry.
He can hold them down...
1225
01:07:15,882 --> 01:07:18,181
while you hit them with a belt.
What the hell
are you talking about?
1226
01:07:18,251 --> 01:07:20,652
You're hitting your kids
with brushes and belts.
You're psychotic.
1227
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:24,316
You're a psycho.
Yeah? And what are you,
friend, a faggot?
1228
01:07:24,390 --> 01:07:27,519
Coming from a pinhead like you,
that's a complement.
1229
01:07:27,594 --> 01:07:31,156
How about I come on down there
to that station of yours
right now...
1230
01:07:31,230 --> 01:07:34,064
and bust your little
faggot face right in?
1231
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:36,500
Who's gonna help, your brother?
You don't say nothin'
about my brother.
1232
01:07:36,569 --> 01:07:39,095
Your brother hangs around
Harry Heinz Blvd., doesn't he?
He's a pimp.
1233
01:07:39,172 --> 01:07:41,232
And your wife,
she's a hooker, isn't she?
My wife?
1234
01:07:41,307 --> 01:07:44,072
- What do you beat her with,
a baseball bat?
- [Breathing Heavily]
1235
01:07:44,143 --> 01:07:46,078
Hmm?
1236
01:07:47,413 --> 01:07:51,009
Well, I know where
you live, partner.
1237
01:07:51,084 --> 01:07:54,179
All right?
I know what you look like.
1238
01:07:54,253 --> 01:07:57,985
Mm-hmm.
Sweet dreams, sweetheart.
1239
01:07:58,057 --> 01:07:59,992
[Phone Disconnects,
Dial Tone]
1240
01:08:00,059 --> 01:08:01,994
I can't wait.
1241
01:08:02,061 --> 01:08:05,361
Vincent, you're on Night Talk.
Say something interesting.
1242
01:08:05,431 --> 01:08:08,230
- Yeah. Uh--
- [Mocking Southern Accent]
Yeah.
1243
01:08:08,301 --> 01:08:11,669
I've been listening to you
for five years.
Uh-huh.
1244
01:08:11,738 --> 01:08:14,572
Yup, and the guys
down here at the store
put you on every night.
1245
01:08:14,641 --> 01:08:17,008
Yup.
And we sit around
and laugh at you...
1246
01:08:17,076 --> 01:08:19,409
Yup.
because you're such
a jerk-off and--
1247
01:08:19,479 --> 01:08:21,778
Yeah, all right.
Night Talk. Agnes, yeah.
1248
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:24,909
Barry, can I
ask you a question?
Hit me.
1249
01:08:24,984 --> 01:08:29,149
[Laughing]
I wouldn't hit you
for the world, sweetheart.
1250
01:08:29,222 --> 01:08:32,954
I Love Lucy. Now, why don't
they make more of them?
What?
1251
01:08:33,026 --> 01:08:35,894
What do you want to talk
to Barry about?
[Continues, Indistinct]
1252
01:08:35,962 --> 01:08:38,431
You wanna rape somebody?
1253
01:08:38,498 --> 01:08:41,991
Why don't you go home
and take a cold shower.
That'd be better.
1254
01:08:42,068 --> 01:08:45,266
Those shows are ancient, Agnes.
Lucille Ball must be
at least 105 years old.
1255
01:08:45,338 --> 01:08:48,365
The rest of the cast is dead.
No. Now, she's not that old.
1256
01:08:48,441 --> 01:08:51,741
I saw her on the show
the other night, and
she looked to be around 35.
1257
01:08:51,811 --> 01:08:54,906
And that Ricky Ricardo,
boy, can he play the bongos.
1258
01:08:54,981 --> 01:08:57,678
Nobody can be this stupid.
Are you serious, Agnes?
You know what year this is?
1259
01:08:58,017 --> 01:09:00,486
Yeah, John,
you're on Night Talk.
1260
01:09:00,553 --> 01:09:02,488
[John]
Remember me, Barry?
1261
01:09:02,555 --> 01:09:05,115
I called and said
I was in Turtle Creek.
1262
01:09:05,191 --> 01:09:07,558
[Sobs]
Well, I--
1263
01:09:07,627 --> 01:09:10,392
I raped three women since then.
1264
01:09:12,432 --> 01:09:15,527
Do you remember me?
I'm not sure.
Refresh me, John.
1265
01:09:15,601 --> 01:09:19,231
I'm thinking about raping
another one, Barry.
I saw her this morning.
1266
01:09:19,305 --> 01:09:22,901
What are you doing to me, Stu?
You're killing me
right here on the air.
1267
01:09:22,975 --> 01:09:26,503
- Oh, could we relax, please?
- These women I raped
aren't turning me in.
1268
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:28,980
How come?
Well, tell me
where you are, John,
1269
01:09:29,048 --> 01:09:31,381
[Sobbing]
and I'll make sure
you get some help.
1270
01:09:31,451 --> 01:09:34,478
You have my word on that.
I'm just so tired
of raping women. I--
1271
01:09:34,554 --> 01:09:37,718
I'm so tired
or raping women!
1272
01:09:37,790 --> 01:09:42,319
I-I got rage for them!
I got rage for them!
John.
1273
01:09:42,395 --> 01:09:44,489
When was the last time
you raped a woman?
1274
01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:48,864
In Green ville
a couple weeks ago.
1275
01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:51,564
She was--
She was struttin' around...
1276
01:09:51,637 --> 01:09:54,232
like she was something else.
1277
01:09:55,875 --> 01:09:58,310
Yeah, I-I understand, John.
I sympathize.
1278
01:09:58,377 --> 01:10:00,312
We all get angry.
1279
01:10:01,380 --> 01:10:03,315
Where did the rape
actually occur?
1280
01:10:03,382 --> 01:10:06,546
It was in the back seat
of her car.
1281
01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:08,952
She pulled into
the Jack in the Box parking lot.
1282
01:10:09,021 --> 01:10:12,321
I jumped in and said,
"Okay, I'm--"
1283
01:10:12,391 --> 01:10:16,260
It was nighttime, sometime.
I don't know.
1284
01:10:18,998 --> 01:10:22,059
How old are you, John?
I'm 40.
1285
01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:24,695
I was in the pen 12 years.
Are you taping this for me?
1286
01:10:24,771 --> 01:10:28,902
I didn't get no therapy.
They didn't do nothin' for me!
Let me hook this up.
1287
01:10:28,975 --> 01:10:32,810
They didn't-- They didn't--
They didn't bother to help me!
1288
01:10:32,879 --> 01:10:37,715
Barry, I'm gonna rape somebody.
I'm gonna do it.
But why?
1289
01:10:37,784 --> 01:10:40,720
I gotta!
It's an irresistible compulsion.
1290
01:10:40,787 --> 01:10:43,882
It's like-- It's like
tryin' to quit smoking.
1291
01:10:43,956 --> 01:10:46,790
Barry, I can't help myself.
1292
01:10:46,859 --> 01:10:48,885
[Sobbing]
I can't--
1293
01:10:48,961 --> 01:10:51,988
Yeah, all right.
You have this
irresistible compulsion.
1294
01:10:52,064 --> 01:10:55,091
John, the last time we spoke,
1295
01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:57,569
you said that
jogging helped you.
1296
01:10:57,637 --> 01:11:00,300
Up and down Turtle Creek.
1297
01:11:00,373 --> 01:11:03,138
Jogging up and down
the Turtle Creek.
Turtle Creek!
1298
01:11:03,209 --> 01:11:07,840
I could name you every duck
in Turtle Creek!
1299
01:11:07,914 --> 01:11:12,215
John, have you decided
who you're gonna rape next?
1300
01:11:13,820 --> 01:11:16,483
I got her picked out,
staked out and ready.
1301
01:11:17,557 --> 01:11:19,958
I always wanted her.
1302
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,591
What is it about her
that you like?
1303
01:11:23,663 --> 01:11:29,398
What is it about
a piece of strawberry pie
or a piece of pumpkin pie?
1304
01:11:29,468 --> 01:11:32,836
I mean, I don't know.
She could be black or white,
1305
01:11:32,905 --> 01:11:36,899
Hispano, Japanese,
pretty, fat, ugly.
1306
01:11:36,976 --> 01:11:39,411
[Screaming, Sobbing]
1307
01:11:39,478 --> 01:11:41,811
I wanna rape them all!
1308
01:11:41,881 --> 01:11:45,841
All right, John, calm down.
I wanna help you.
I'm your friend.
1309
01:11:47,687 --> 01:11:49,952
Are you my buddy, Barry?
1310
01:11:51,090 --> 01:11:53,753
I'm your buddy, John.
[Sobbing]
1311
01:11:55,361 --> 01:11:57,921
I can't help myself.
I gotta go do it.
1312
01:11:57,997 --> 01:12:01,729
You can help yourself.
You're not gonna do it, John.
No, I gotta do it.
1313
01:12:01,801 --> 01:12:03,929
No, you're not
gonna do it, John.
1314
01:12:04,003 --> 01:12:06,529
Now, listen to me.
I'm gonna go do it.
1315
01:12:06,606 --> 01:12:09,474
No, no, no.
Think about what
you're saying, John.
1316
01:12:09,542 --> 01:12:12,171
John?
1317
01:12:12,245 --> 01:12:14,180
John?
1318
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:16,182
He's gone.
1319
01:12:27,159 --> 01:12:30,129
Another lost soul
goes into the Dallas night.
1320
01:12:31,497 --> 01:12:36,561
We-We have a police trace
on this.
1321
01:12:36,636 --> 01:12:38,901
If anybody knows
anything about this man...
1322
01:12:38,971 --> 01:12:43,102
or is in Turtle Creek or
sees someone in a phone booth,
1323
01:12:43,175 --> 01:12:45,201
please call us here
at KGAB.
1324
01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:49,875
The number to call is,
is 555-TALK.
1325
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:55,946
Uh, let's hear
from our sponsors--
1326
01:12:56,022 --> 01:12:58,491
Pasty Mate Roach
and Termite Cleaners.
1327
01:12:58,557 --> 01:13:01,049
[Man's Voice]
Listen closely.
1328
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:03,790
The sound
of cockroaches mating...
1329
01:13:03,863 --> 01:13:07,664
enhanced 500 times.
They couldn't trace it.
1330
01:13:07,733 --> 01:13:09,929
Right, I should've kept him on
for another three hours.
1331
01:13:10,002 --> 01:13:13,200
You know, I once had
a cup of Humphrey's coffee.
1332
01:13:13,272 --> 01:13:15,332
I was spitting blood
for three weeks.
1333
01:13:15,408 --> 01:13:18,003
You should try
the decaffeinated, Barry.
1334
01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:22,681
- [Kent]
This is great.
- Oh, wait. Don't tell me.
1335
01:13:22,748 --> 01:13:24,683
He seems
pretty harmless.
1336
01:13:24,750 --> 01:13:26,844
Come on, kid, sit down.
This is your chair.
1337
01:13:26,919 --> 01:13:28,854
This is your microphone.
Speak directly into it.
1338
01:13:28,921 --> 01:13:30,856
Keep your mouth about
six inches a way from it.
1339
01:13:30,923 --> 01:13:35,293
These are your headphones
so you can hear the show.
These are the ground rules.
1340
01:13:35,361 --> 01:13:37,296
What?
The ground rules.
1341
01:13:37,363 --> 01:13:40,197
No last names, no brand names,
no phone numbers over the air.
1342
01:13:40,266 --> 01:13:44,203
Other than that,
act and speak normally.
This is Mr. Barry Champlaign.
1343
01:13:44,270 --> 01:13:47,707
[Chuckling]
You're Barry.
1344
01:13:47,773 --> 01:13:50,174
You got him.
All right.
1345
01:13:50,242 --> 01:13:52,370
What's wrong with him?
He's starstruck.
1346
01:13:52,445 --> 01:13:54,778
Hey, kid, say something.
I need a level.
Check, check. Check one.
1347
01:13:54,847 --> 01:13:57,078
- ♪♪ [Blues Rock]
- Here we go on five,
1348
01:13:57,149 --> 01:14:00,984
- four, three, two, one.
- [Laughs]
Stu.
1349
01:14:01,053 --> 01:14:05,218
- Strap in, bitch.
Here we go.
- ♪♪ [Ends]
1350
01:14:05,291 --> 01:14:08,489
We're back.
I'm Barry Champlaign.
You're listening to Night Talk.
1351
01:14:08,561 --> 01:14:11,030
We have a very special guest
with us tonight.
1352
01:14:11,097 --> 01:14:13,066
Kent. Say hello
to everybody, Kent.
1353
01:14:13,132 --> 01:14:15,192
All right.
[Laughs]
1354
01:14:15,267 --> 01:14:17,759
My sentiments exactly.
1355
01:14:17,837 --> 01:14:21,831
We've brought Kent on board
to get an inside look
at the future of America.
1356
01:14:21,907 --> 01:14:24,172
Kent is the classic
American youth--
1357
01:14:24,243 --> 01:14:28,578
energetic and resourceful,
spoiled, perverse and disturbed.
1358
01:14:28,647 --> 01:14:31,412
Would you say that's
an accurate description, Kent?
Yep, sure.
1359
01:14:31,484 --> 01:14:35,512
What do you call that haircut?
I don't know.
Rock and roll!
1360
01:14:35,588 --> 01:14:38,251
Are you high right now,
Kent?
1361
01:14:39,325 --> 01:14:41,521
Am I high?
Are you on drugs,
1362
01:14:41,594 --> 01:14:44,120
or is this your naturally
moronic self?
1363
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,369
Watch the drool.
You're getting it
all over the console.
1364
01:14:50,436 --> 01:14:52,928
[Laughing]
1365
01:14:55,474 --> 01:14:57,409
I can't believe
I'm here, man.
1366
01:14:59,178 --> 01:15:02,376
Hey. Wow.
Does this thing
really work?
1367
01:15:02,448 --> 01:15:05,111
You're sitting in
a radio station, Kent.
1368
01:15:05,184 --> 01:15:07,119
You're sitting in front
of a live mike.
1369
01:15:07,186 --> 01:15:09,121
When you speak,
thousands of people
hear your voice.
1370
01:15:09,188 --> 01:15:11,817
It penetrates their minds.
[Screaming]
1371
01:15:16,962 --> 01:15:18,897
Okay, okay.
No, listen.
1372
01:15:18,964 --> 01:15:22,833
I wanna send that one out
to Diamond Dave
and Billy the bass player...
1373
01:15:22,902 --> 01:15:26,395
and all the babes
at the Valley View Mall.
1374
01:15:29,842 --> 01:15:32,437
We're discussing
America here tonight, Kent.
1375
01:15:32,511 --> 01:15:34,446
Do you have any thoughts
on that subject?
1376
01:15:35,614 --> 01:15:37,674
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
1377
01:15:37,750 --> 01:15:40,447
I broke your train of thought.
Please, keep going.
This is exhilarating.
1378
01:15:40,519 --> 01:15:42,613
No, I know.
1379
01:15:42,688 --> 01:15:45,089
It's not like I'm not
political or nothin'.
You know, I mean--
1380
01:15:45,157 --> 01:15:48,594
I like Bruce.
He's political.
1381
01:15:48,661 --> 01:15:51,597
Bruce Springsteen, yes.
A very deep, political thinker.
1382
01:15:51,664 --> 01:15:54,099
He's a communist, isn't he?
1383
01:15:54,166 --> 01:15:56,101
- No, he's from New Jersey.
- ♪♪ [Rim Shot]
1384
01:15:56,168 --> 01:15:59,798
His ex is pretty nice.
Mm-hmm. Whose ex?
1385
01:15:59,872 --> 01:16:02,467
Bruce's.
Bruce Springsteen's wife.
Yes, what about her?
1386
01:16:02,541 --> 01:16:04,703
Julienne.
Hi, Julienne.
1387
01:16:05,778 --> 01:16:08,338
She was a model.
You know that, Bar?
1388
01:16:08,414 --> 01:16:10,679
All those guys
got models, Bar.
1389
01:16:10,749 --> 01:16:14,709
I mean, Mick and Jerry,
Keith and Patty,
1390
01:16:14,787 --> 01:16:17,313
Prince and--
1391
01:16:17,389 --> 01:16:21,053
Prince.
[Chuckling]
1392
01:16:21,127 --> 01:16:23,062
You know, Bar,
Bingo.
1393
01:16:23,129 --> 01:16:25,064
models only hang around with
guys they think are coolest.
1394
01:16:25,131 --> 01:16:29,193
Look at you, man.
You're a big guy,
famous star and all.
1395
01:16:29,268 --> 01:16:32,432
I mean, you got that fine babe
right over there...
1396
01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:34,667
who works for you, man.
1397
01:16:37,776 --> 01:16:41,235
So hey,
if you got some cash
and you're cool,
1398
01:16:41,313 --> 01:16:43,646
you get to have a model.
1399
01:16:43,716 --> 01:16:46,379
So you wouldn't call yourself
a women's libber then,
Kent, huh?
1400
01:16:46,452 --> 01:16:49,650
Yeah, I would, Bar.
I mean, everybody
being liberated, you know.
1401
01:16:49,722 --> 01:16:52,715
Women, South Africans,
all those kind of people,
you know.
1402
01:16:52,791 --> 01:16:55,022
I saw a show
about all that stuff--
1403
01:16:55,094 --> 01:16:58,326
about how revolution's
a pretty important thing.
1404
01:16:58,397 --> 01:17:02,801
We're gonna have
a lot more revolutions
where people get together,
1405
01:17:02,868 --> 01:17:05,736
solidarity and that
and--
1406
01:17:05,804 --> 01:17:07,898
You know,
like that song by Megadeath.
1407
01:17:07,973 --> 01:17:09,908
♪ Peace sells
but who's buying ♪
1408
01:17:09,975 --> 01:17:13,275
- ♪ Peace sells
but who's buying ♪
- Ah, come on!
1409
01:17:16,448 --> 01:17:18,474
Hey, plus--
Oh, I saw this other show...
1410
01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:20,918
about how in the future
they're gonna have
these two-way TV sets.
1411
01:17:20,986 --> 01:17:23,217
People will be able to see
each other and everything.
1412
01:17:23,289 --> 01:17:26,919
And then there's, like,
no way they're gonna be able
to stop the revolution.
1413
01:17:26,992 --> 01:17:28,927
[Laughing]
1414
01:17:28,994 --> 01:17:31,088
Who won't be able
to stop it, Kent?
1415
01:17:31,163 --> 01:17:35,726
Big Brother, the government,
corporations.
1416
01:17:35,801 --> 01:17:38,737
They're a bunch of fascists.
They wanna control
everybody's mind.
1417
01:17:38,804 --> 01:17:41,740
But, hey, freedom's
an important thing,
1418
01:17:41,807 --> 01:17:44,174
just like you
always say, Bar.
1419
01:17:45,644 --> 01:17:47,579
You say
the best things, Bar.
1420
01:17:47,646 --> 01:17:49,638
I listen to you
all the time.
1421
01:17:49,715 --> 01:17:51,684
You're great.
Kent, you're an idiot.
1422
01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:53,912
I sincerely hope
you do not represent
the future of this country,
1423
01:17:53,986 --> 01:17:55,921
because if you do
we are in sad shape.
1424
01:18:11,036 --> 01:18:14,006
Bar, man,
you're so funny, man.
1425
01:18:14,073 --> 01:18:18,101
That's why I love to listen
to your show. That's why
all the kids listen to you, man.
1426
01:18:18,177 --> 01:18:20,112
Plus, these goons
push you around, you know.
1427
01:18:20,179 --> 01:18:22,114
All the kids
listen to you, Bar.
1428
01:18:22,181 --> 01:18:24,673
You are the best thing
on the radio!
1429
01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:28,278
Kent, we discuss
a lot of serious subjects
on this show--
1430
01:18:28,354 --> 01:18:31,950
sad things,
frightening things,
tragic things.
1431
01:18:33,425 --> 01:18:35,724
Doesn't any of that
bother you?
1432
01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,491
Nope.
[Chuckles]
1433
01:18:38,564 --> 01:18:40,795
Why not?
1434
01:18:42,268 --> 01:18:44,965
It's just a show.
It's one big rock video,
huh, Kent?
1435
01:18:45,037 --> 01:18:47,336
Yeah!
[Laughs]
1436
01:18:51,443 --> 01:18:54,709
No.
Come on, Bar.
1437
01:18:57,416 --> 01:18:59,817
It's your show.
1438
01:19:04,290 --> 01:19:06,316
Yeah, that it is, that it is.
It's my show.
1439
01:19:06,392 --> 01:19:08,884
Let's go back to the callers
on my show.
1440
01:19:08,961 --> 01:19:11,521
Uh, Julia,
you're on Night Talk.
1441
01:19:11,597 --> 01:19:13,532
[Julia]
Barry, hello.
Now, you know, darlin',
1442
01:19:13,599 --> 01:19:15,534
I think these people who've
been callin' you tonight...
1443
01:19:15,601 --> 01:19:17,536
are a bunch of
I don't know what's.
1444
01:19:17,603 --> 01:19:22,132
It's crazy.
And that crazy kid you got
on there, now, that's terrible.
1445
01:19:22,207 --> 01:19:26,668
I've been listenin' to your show
for five years straight, Barry,
1446
01:19:26,745 --> 01:19:28,839
and I love you and your show.
1447
01:19:28,914 --> 01:19:32,248
I think it's terrific
that more folks
are gonna be listenin'.
1448
01:19:32,318 --> 01:19:35,686
I just hope you have time
for your longtime friends
there, Bar.
1449
01:19:35,754 --> 01:19:37,985
I always have time
for my friends, Julia.
1450
01:19:38,057 --> 01:19:40,026
[Chuckles]
Aw, you're terrific.
1451
01:19:40,092 --> 01:19:43,324
Your show's terrific.
I don't know what else to say.
1452
01:19:43,395 --> 01:19:46,331
Well, tell me something, Julia,
since you listen all the time.
1453
01:19:46,398 --> 01:19:48,333
What is it
you like about the show?
1454
01:19:48,400 --> 01:19:51,302
Well, I don't know.
1455
01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:53,669
A lot of things.
1456
01:19:53,739 --> 01:19:57,403
Well, what, for instance?
Well, I love you, Bar.
1457
01:19:57,476 --> 01:19:59,843
Uh-huh, that's a given.
Okay, what about me
do you love?
1458
01:19:59,912 --> 01:20:02,973
Well, you're very funny.
Uh-huh.
1459
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:06,678
And I love to hear you talk
about all the things
you have to say.
1460
01:20:07,886 --> 01:20:10,082
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Let's get back to the show.
1461
01:20:10,155 --> 01:20:12,090
The show must serve
some kind of purpose for you.
1462
01:20:12,157 --> 01:20:14,888
Well, now, I wouldn't say that.
What would you say?
1463
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:17,054
Well, I don't know.
What do you mean,
you don't know?
1464
01:20:17,129 --> 01:20:19,064
You said that at least
five times already.
What don't you know?
1465
01:20:19,131 --> 01:20:21,225
You've been listening to this
show for five years. You don't
know why you listen to it?
1466
01:20:21,300 --> 01:20:23,235
Well, I just said--
I heard what you just said.
1467
01:20:23,302 --> 01:20:26,101
You said you don't know why
you listen to this show.
Why don't I tell you why.
1468
01:20:26,171 --> 01:20:28,538
You listen so that
you can feel superior to
the other losers who call in!
1469
01:20:28,607 --> 01:20:30,542
Barry!
Don't "Barry" me!
1470
01:20:30,609 --> 01:20:33,579
You've got sawdust between
your ears instead of brains.
Just listen to you!
1471
01:20:33,645 --> 01:20:36,012
If I sounded as stupid as you,
I'd be too embarrassed
to open my mouth!
1472
01:20:36,081 --> 01:20:38,812
- [Sobbing]
I'm hanging up!
- Good, and don't call back.
1473
01:20:40,386 --> 01:20:42,321
Nothing more boring
than people who love you.
1474
01:20:42,755 --> 01:20:44,314
Yeah, you're on Night Talk.
1475
01:20:44,390 --> 01:20:47,087
[Woman]
I just have one thing
to ask you, Barry.
1476
01:20:47,159 --> 01:20:49,094
Hit me.
1477
01:20:49,161 --> 01:20:52,791
- Are you as ugly-looking
as you sound?
- Uglier.
1478
01:20:52,865 --> 01:20:56,358
[Chuckles]
Yeah, I thought
you'd say something like that.
1479
01:20:56,435 --> 01:21:00,031
But as usual,
you a void the question.
1480
01:21:01,573 --> 01:21:05,066
What's the question?
I think you know the question.
1481
01:21:07,079 --> 01:21:11,039
- Is an animal
a vegetable or a mineral?
- The question is obvious.
1482
01:21:11,116 --> 01:21:13,676
Why does an intelligent fellow
like yourself...
1483
01:21:13,752 --> 01:21:18,918
spend so much energy
hurting other people?
1484
01:21:18,991 --> 01:21:21,426
Hmm?
Do you not love yourself?
1485
01:21:24,596 --> 01:21:27,498
I think you're very
lonely, Barry.
1486
01:21:27,566 --> 01:21:31,662
I'm sorry for you, because
you don't know how to love.
1487
01:21:34,907 --> 01:21:37,433
[Disconnects Line]
Night Talk. Ralph.
1488
01:21:38,710 --> 01:21:41,009
They always say that,
don't they?
1489
01:21:42,915 --> 01:21:46,443
"Why are you so angry"?
1490
01:21:46,518 --> 01:21:49,010
Well, they don't understand
me and you, Barry.
1491
01:21:49,087 --> 01:21:52,148
We're the kind of people,
we feel too much.
1492
01:21:52,224 --> 01:21:54,159
Are we, Ralph?
1493
01:21:54,226 --> 01:21:56,161
[Ralph Continues]
1494
01:21:56,228 --> 01:21:59,027
Yeah, my name is Cheryl Ann.
I'll hold.
1495
01:22:00,632 --> 01:22:03,966
[Ralph]
Who knows? I mean,
take, for instance, cancer.
1496
01:22:04,036 --> 01:22:06,733
What is cancer?
What are you doing, Ellen?
1497
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:11,877
He's all alone out there.
So what?
1498
01:22:15,881 --> 01:22:17,816
He's going down in flames,
Dan.
1499
01:22:19,751 --> 01:22:21,982
It's Barry's show,
Ellen.
1500
01:22:22,054 --> 01:22:24,956
Let Barry
do Barry's show.
1501
01:22:25,023 --> 01:22:28,016
[Ralph]
Well, what are they gonna do
with my TV set?
1502
01:22:28,093 --> 01:22:30,358
[Barry]
We watch it. That's what
people do with TV sets.
1503
01:22:30,429 --> 01:22:34,730
What do they see?
They see people killing people,
babies starving, floods.
1504
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,735
And for what?
For nothing!
1505
01:22:36,802 --> 01:22:39,567
For beer commercials
and Tampax ads,
1506
01:22:39,638 --> 01:22:42,073
MTV, a yacht, the ocean,
1507
01:22:42,140 --> 01:22:44,075
a diamond earring,
a racehorse.
1508
01:22:44,142 --> 01:22:47,044
Well, I guess so.
[Chuckles]
1509
01:22:47,112 --> 01:22:50,776
I guess so.
All I know is
what I read in the papers.
1510
01:22:50,849 --> 01:22:55,878
And that's a lot of talk.
Barry, it's talk.
Talk, talk, talk.
1511
01:22:55,954 --> 01:22:58,082
Talk, talk, talk, talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk!
Ralph, Ralph, Ralph!
1512
01:22:58,156 --> 01:23:00,819
Tell me something.
I'm curious.
1513
01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:03,260
How do you dial a phone
with a straightjacket on?
1514
01:23:03,328 --> 01:23:05,763
[Laughing]
[Ralph]
Barry.
1515
01:23:05,831 --> 01:23:08,391
I don't know much about God
and I never was very religious,
1516
01:23:08,467 --> 01:23:13,098
but you can't help feeling
like something is wrong,
1517
01:23:13,171 --> 01:23:16,972
like nobody's
driving the train,
1518
01:23:18,043 --> 01:23:20,740
the system,
1519
01:23:20,812 --> 01:23:23,111
'cause too many people
are gettin' sick.
1520
01:23:24,650 --> 01:23:28,348
And the traffic,
it's just jamming up.
1521
01:23:29,488 --> 01:23:33,721
And even the weather,
not so good lately.
1522
01:23:33,792 --> 01:23:38,287
Barry, I just don't--
I don't get it, Barry.
I just don't get it.
1523
01:23:38,363 --> 01:23:41,561
You don't get it, wimp?
Here's what you get!
You get $1.59,
1524
01:23:41,633 --> 01:23:44,398
- That's it.
- go down to the drugstore,
buy a pack of razor blades,
1525
01:23:44,469 --> 01:23:47,667
- and slash your
fuckin' wrists, pinhead!
- ♪♪ [Commercial Jingle]
1526
01:23:47,739 --> 01:23:51,733
[Commercial: Man, Indistinct]
That's it, kid.
Come on.
1527
01:23:51,810 --> 01:23:53,403
- [Kent]
What?
- Get him out of here, now!
1528
01:23:58,684 --> 01:24:00,915
Hey, Barry!
1529
01:24:04,890 --> 01:24:07,155
Get the fuck off me,
you fuckin' son of a bitch!
1530
01:24:07,225 --> 01:24:09,285
Thank you, Dallas!
Good night!
1531
01:24:09,361 --> 01:24:11,296
[Stu]
You all right, Barry?
Stand by.
1532
01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:17,235
[Ellen]
I'm confused, Barry.
1533
01:24:20,739 --> 01:24:22,674
What did you say
your name was?
1534
01:24:22,741 --> 01:24:24,767
Cheryl Ann.
1535
01:24:24,843 --> 01:24:27,904
It's about my ex-husband.
1536
01:24:27,980 --> 01:24:32,441
He's back in town and, well,
I haven't seen him for a while.
1537
01:24:35,087 --> 01:24:37,886
[Barry]
What are you confused about,
Cheryl Ann?
1538
01:24:37,956 --> 01:24:39,891
Well, let me first say...
1539
01:24:39,958 --> 01:24:43,156
that I left my ex-husband
for very good reasons.
1540
01:24:43,228 --> 01:24:46,323
Did it-- Let's not
get into them, okay?
1541
01:24:46,398 --> 01:24:49,698
And he's anything but perfect.
1542
01:24:49,768 --> 01:24:54,399
He smokes, he drinks,
he loves to argue.
1543
01:24:54,473 --> 01:24:57,375
- Sounds like my kind of guy.
- Yeah.
1544
01:25:00,245 --> 01:25:02,214
He is a little bit like you.
1545
01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:06,684
Yeah, well, we gotta
move it along here,
Cheryl Ann.
1546
01:25:06,752 --> 01:25:08,687
You wanna get to the point?
1547
01:25:09,921 --> 01:25:13,380
I have, um,
feelings for him.
1548
01:25:15,227 --> 01:25:17,162
What kind of feelings?
1549
01:25:18,230 --> 01:25:20,290
Nice feelings.
1550
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,493
Um--
1551
01:25:22,567 --> 01:25:24,536
This is hard to say.
1552
01:25:25,637 --> 01:25:27,970
Sexual feelings?
1553
01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:31,602
It's not just that.
I mean, yes, of course, but...
1554
01:25:33,712 --> 01:25:36,443
I still love him.
1555
01:25:36,515 --> 01:25:39,246
It's not the same
with my husband.
1556
01:25:39,317 --> 01:25:41,252
We had something,
1557
01:25:41,319 --> 01:25:43,845
and... I want him.
1558
01:25:45,991 --> 01:25:48,085
I want him inside of me.
1559
01:25:50,529 --> 01:25:52,555
I want to take care of him.
1560
01:25:54,933 --> 01:25:57,425
I want to be with him.
1561
01:26:00,038 --> 01:26:01,973
You wanna be close to him.
1562
01:26:03,175 --> 01:26:05,110
Yes.
1563
01:26:06,645 --> 01:26:08,580
You wanna hold him.
1564
01:26:10,482 --> 01:26:12,417
Oh, yes.
1565
01:26:13,919 --> 01:26:16,411
You wanna relive
the feelings you two had.
1566
01:26:17,789 --> 01:26:19,724
Yes, Barry.
1567
01:26:22,160 --> 01:26:24,095
You don't love
your husband?
1568
01:26:25,564 --> 01:26:27,499
No. Well, I--
1569
01:26:27,566 --> 01:26:29,899
You tell him
that you love him.
1570
01:26:29,968 --> 01:26:32,130
You lie to him and
you tell him that you love him.
1571
01:26:32,204 --> 01:26:35,299
I do love him.
1572
01:26:35,373 --> 01:26:37,740
I love him as a friend.
1573
01:26:39,244 --> 01:26:41,372
Friend.
1574
01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,677
Everyone's your friend.
1575
01:26:44,983 --> 01:26:47,009
Not like my ex-husband.
1576
01:26:48,386 --> 01:26:50,912
There's a passion there
for his soul and--
1577
01:26:54,726 --> 01:26:59,323
I-I thought I wanted
a simple life,
but I-I was wrong.
1578
01:27:00,932 --> 01:27:03,128
I want my old life back.
1579
01:27:05,303 --> 01:27:07,238
Sounds like
you made a mistake.
1580
01:27:08,406 --> 01:27:10,398
Should've stuck with
the first guy.
1581
01:27:11,610 --> 01:27:15,069
Yeah, well, what was I
supposed to do?
1582
01:27:21,353 --> 01:27:23,515
I love you, Barry.
1583
01:27:29,361 --> 01:27:33,662
Ever hear the story
of the little dog who had
a bone in his mouth?
1584
01:27:33,732 --> 01:27:37,499
And he's trotting over
this bridge
and he looks over...
1585
01:27:37,569 --> 01:27:39,868
and sees his reflection
in the water.
1586
01:27:39,938 --> 01:27:41,930
Thinks it's another dog.
1587
01:27:42,007 --> 01:27:44,841
That dog has a bone
in his mouth too.
1588
01:27:44,910 --> 01:27:48,711
The dog wants both bones,
so he barks at the little dog
in the water,
1589
01:27:48,780 --> 01:27:50,976
trying to scare him.
1590
01:27:51,049 --> 01:27:53,382
Bone drops out of his mouth.
1591
01:27:53,451 --> 01:27:56,080
Loses both bones.
1592
01:27:59,157 --> 01:28:02,059
What has that got to do
with what I just said?
1593
01:28:02,127 --> 01:28:04,790
Babe, I don't know
what to tell you.
1594
01:28:04,863 --> 01:28:06,832
You blew it!
1595
01:28:06,898 --> 01:28:09,458
You know, women like you
are never happy.
1596
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:12,936
What do you want me to say?
Leave your husband?
Go back to your ex?
1597
01:28:13,004 --> 01:28:14,939
Your ex doesn't want you.
1598
01:28:15,006 --> 01:28:19,034
He's got women
all over the place.
He doesn't need you.
1599
01:28:19,110 --> 01:28:23,741
He's not some suburban zombie
like your husband.
He's out there having fun.
1600
01:28:23,815 --> 01:28:27,547
Did you ever think of that?
Maybe your ex-husband
doesn't want you?
1601
01:28:27,619 --> 01:28:31,112
Hmm?
He came on to me.
He said he wanted me.
1602
01:28:31,189 --> 01:28:33,784
You're lying again.
He said he still loved me.
1603
01:28:33,859 --> 01:28:37,591
You're lying! You're
a sexually unsatisfied woman
living in a dream world!
1604
01:28:37,662 --> 01:28:40,962
I feel sorry for you!
1605
01:28:41,032 --> 01:28:42,967
So why don't you stick
with Mr. America there,
1606
01:28:43,034 --> 01:28:46,732
go out and buy yourself
a heavy-duty vibrator,
and knock yourself out.
1607
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:51,108
We reap what we sow.
1608
01:28:51,176 --> 01:28:53,577
Follow me, Cheryl Ann?
1609
01:29:07,225 --> 01:29:11,720
Probably frigid.
And we have Theresa on the line.
1610
01:29:12,964 --> 01:29:15,297
[Theresa]
The day will come
for you, Barry.
1611
01:29:15,367 --> 01:29:19,896
And there will be
a reckoning,
1612
01:29:19,971 --> 01:29:23,772
an adding up
and a totaling.
1613
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:29,109
Those who turned a way
will be turned upon.
1614
01:29:29,180 --> 01:29:33,845
And I don't care
what your story is, Barry.
1615
01:29:33,919 --> 01:29:39,483
You are responsible,
and there will be
no confusion at your trial.
1616
01:29:41,192 --> 01:29:45,789
It will be short,
and necks will crack.
1617
01:29:47,532 --> 01:29:51,299
The whips will strip your back
bare to the bone,
1618
01:29:51,369 --> 01:29:54,168
and your children
will cry for you...
1619
01:29:54,239 --> 01:29:57,869
as they are slaughtered
before your eyes.
1620
01:30:00,545 --> 01:30:02,673
You--
1621
01:30:02,747 --> 01:30:07,651
The Jews will hang high
over the streets.
1622
01:30:09,821 --> 01:30:12,313
You will be buried in piles.
1623
01:30:12,390 --> 01:30:14,359
You dig your own holes.
1624
01:30:16,995 --> 01:30:21,160
I am here merely to tell you
that the day will come.
1625
01:30:23,101 --> 01:30:25,036
It will.
1626
01:30:28,873 --> 01:30:31,604
Believe it or not,
you make perfect sense to me.
1627
01:30:34,713 --> 01:30:36,648
I should hang.
1628
01:30:37,716 --> 01:30:39,651
I'm a hypocrite.
1629
01:30:40,986 --> 01:30:43,421
I ask for sincerity,
and I lie.
1630
01:30:44,889 --> 01:30:47,324
I denounce the system
as I embrace it.
1631
01:30:49,361 --> 01:30:53,992
I want money and power
and prestige.
1632
01:30:54,065 --> 01:30:56,466
I want ratings and success.
1633
01:30:56,534 --> 01:31:01,905
I don't give a damn
about you or the world.
That's the truth.
1634
01:31:01,973 --> 01:31:07,605
For this,
I could say I'm sorry,
but I won't. Why should I?
1635
01:31:08,246 --> 01:31:11,410
I mean,
who the hell are you anyways,
you audience?
1636
01:31:12,650 --> 01:31:14,619
You're on me every night
like a pack of wolves,
1637
01:31:14,686 --> 01:31:19,147
'cause you can't stand
facing what you are
and what you've made.
1638
01:31:19,224 --> 01:31:22,126
Yes, the world
is a terrible place.
1639
01:31:22,193 --> 01:31:25,391
Yes, cancer and garbage
disposals will get you.
1640
01:31:25,463 --> 01:31:27,398
Yes, a war is coming.
1641
01:31:27,465 --> 01:31:29,627
Yes, the world is shot to hell,
and you're all goners.
1642
01:31:29,701 --> 01:31:32,796
Everything's screwed up,
and you like it that way,
don't you?
1643
01:31:34,305 --> 01:31:37,241
You're fascinated
by the gory details.
1644
01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:41,573
You're mesmerized
by your own fear.
1645
01:31:43,348 --> 01:31:48,048
You revel in floods,
car accidents.
1646
01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:51,055
Unstoppable diseases.
1647
01:31:54,926 --> 01:31:57,088
You're happiest
when others are in pain.
1648
01:31:58,797 --> 01:32:01,858
That's where I come in,
isn't it?
1649
01:32:01,933 --> 01:32:04,698
I'm here to lead you
by the hands
through the dark forest...
1650
01:32:04,769 --> 01:32:08,706
of your own hatred
and anger and humiliation.
1651
01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:11,709
I'm providing a public service.
1652
01:32:12,877 --> 01:32:15,540
You're so scared.
1653
01:32:15,613 --> 01:32:17,548
You're like a little child
under the covers.
1654
01:32:17,615 --> 01:32:21,484
You're afraid of the bogeyman,
but you can't live without him.
1655
01:32:21,553 --> 01:32:24,990
Your fear, your own lives,
have become your entertainment.
1656
01:32:28,059 --> 01:32:30,893
Next month,
millions of people are gonna
be listening to this show,
1657
01:32:30,962 --> 01:32:33,397
and you'll have
nothing to talk about!
1658
01:32:34,833 --> 01:32:37,064
Marvelous technology
is at our disposal.
1659
01:32:37,135 --> 01:32:40,902
Instead of reaching up to
new heights, we're gonna see
how far down we can go.
1660
01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:45,467
How deep into the muck
we can immerse ourselves.
1661
01:32:45,543 --> 01:32:47,978
What do you wanna
talk about, hmm?
1662
01:32:49,047 --> 01:32:51,482
Baseball scores?
1663
01:32:51,549 --> 01:32:53,484
Your pet?
1664
01:32:54,586 --> 01:32:56,521
Orgasms?
1665
01:32:59,591 --> 01:33:02,254
You're pathetic.
1666
01:33:02,327 --> 01:33:05,263
I despise each
and every one of you.
1667
01:33:06,397 --> 01:33:08,798
You got nothing,
1668
01:33:08,867 --> 01:33:10,802
absolutely nothing.
1669
01:33:12,370 --> 01:33:16,307
No brains, no power, no future.
1670
01:33:17,942 --> 01:33:19,877
No hope.
1671
01:33:21,246 --> 01:33:23,181
No God.
1672
01:33:24,616 --> 01:33:27,051
The only thing
you believe in is me.
1673
01:33:29,020 --> 01:33:30,955
What are you
if you don't have me?
1674
01:33:33,024 --> 01:33:35,550
I'm not afraid, see?
1675
01:33:35,627 --> 01:33:39,462
I come in every night,
make my case, make my point,
say what I believe in!
1676
01:33:39,531 --> 01:33:42,899
I tell you what you are.
I have to. I have no choice.
1677
01:33:43,968 --> 01:33:45,903
You frighten me.
1678
01:33:47,872 --> 01:33:51,172
I come here every night,
tear into you,
I abuse you, I insult you,
1679
01:33:51,242 --> 01:33:53,177
and you just keep
coming back for more.
1680
01:33:53,244 --> 01:33:55,611
What's wrong with you?
Why do you keep calling?
1681
01:33:55,680 --> 01:33:58,514
I don't wanna hear it anymore.
Stop talking!
1682
01:33:58,583 --> 01:34:00,518
Go away!
[Echoing]
1683
01:34:03,321 --> 01:34:06,519
You're a bunch of
yellow-bellied,
spineless, bigoted,
1684
01:34:06,591 --> 01:34:09,060
quivering, drunken,
insomniatic,
1685
01:34:09,127 --> 01:34:13,030
paranoid, disgusting,
perverted, voyeuristic,
little obscene phone callers.
1686
01:34:13,097 --> 01:34:15,657
That's what you are.
1687
01:34:15,733 --> 01:34:18,362
Well, to hell with you.
1688
01:34:18,436 --> 01:34:22,203
I don't need your fear
and your stupidity.
You don't get it.
1689
01:34:22,273 --> 01:34:24,208
It's wasted on you.
1690
01:34:27,011 --> 01:34:29,446
Burros before swine.
1691
01:34:39,457 --> 01:34:43,394
If one person out there
had any idea...
1692
01:34:43,461 --> 01:34:46,090
of what I'm talking about--
1693
01:34:51,336 --> 01:34:53,271
Fred, you're on Night Talk.
1694
01:34:53,338 --> 01:34:56,001
[Fred]
Yes. You see, Barry,
1695
01:34:56,074 --> 01:34:59,442
I know it's depressing that
so many people don't understand
you're just joking.
1696
01:34:59,510 --> 01:35:01,445
[Laugh Track]
Jackie, you're on Night Talk.
1697
01:35:01,512 --> 01:35:05,210
Hello. I've been listening
for years, and I find you
a warm and intelligent--
1698
01:35:05,283 --> 01:35:07,218
[Laugh Track]
Arnold.
1699
01:35:07,285 --> 01:35:10,221
What you were saying before
about loneliness,
I'm an electrical engineer--
1700
01:35:10,288 --> 01:35:14,282
Lucy.
My mother is from
Waco and wants to know
if you went to high school--
1701
01:35:14,359 --> 01:35:18,660
Larry.
Why do people insist
on calling homosexuals normal?
1702
01:35:18,730 --> 01:35:22,098
Ralph!
I'm in my house.
1703
01:35:22,166 --> 01:35:24,294
I'm at home,
1704
01:35:24,369 --> 01:35:27,635
which is where
you should be, Barry.
1705
01:35:27,705 --> 01:35:31,836
Hey, I'm not far a way.
You could come over if you want.
1706
01:35:31,909 --> 01:35:34,469
We're the same kind of people.
1707
01:35:34,545 --> 01:35:37,982
I have beer, soup.
1708
01:35:41,119 --> 01:35:43,054
I'm here.
1709
01:35:43,788 --> 01:35:45,723
Come over later.
1710
01:35:47,525 --> 01:35:50,893
I'll wait.
[Line Disconnects,
Dial Tone]
1711
01:35:56,501 --> 01:35:58,993
[Stu]
Barry, there's 60 seconds
left in the show.
1712
01:36:13,551 --> 01:36:15,952
This is dead air, Barry.
1713
01:36:16,020 --> 01:36:17,955
Dead air.
1714
01:36:51,456 --> 01:36:53,891
I guess we're stuck
with each other.
1715
01:36:55,660 --> 01:36:57,788
This is Barry Champlaign.
1716
01:36:59,731 --> 01:37:02,064
- [Sighs]
- ♪♪ [Blues Rock]
1717
01:37:24,155 --> 01:37:26,556
Barry.
1718
01:37:32,864 --> 01:37:37,234
That was great.
I feel very good about this.
1719
01:37:37,301 --> 01:37:41,204
I'm gonna talk to the lawyers,
and we'll get started
on this deal right away.
1720
01:37:41,272 --> 01:37:44,367
We're gonna be seeing
a lot more of each other.
1721
01:37:44,442 --> 01:37:46,377
I'll be in touch.
1722
01:37:49,147 --> 01:37:51,116
Barry.
1723
01:37:56,187 --> 01:37:58,656
[Chuckles]
That was great.
1724
01:38:00,591 --> 01:38:03,026
You pulled it off, champ.
Congratulations.
1725
01:38:04,095 --> 01:38:06,758
I'll see you tomorrow.
1726
01:38:06,831 --> 01:38:08,766
Dan.
1727
01:38:11,269 --> 01:38:13,704
What if I don't come in
tomorrow night?
1728
01:38:14,772 --> 01:38:16,707
You'll come in tomorrow,
Barry.
1729
01:38:17,909 --> 01:38:19,844
You always do.
1730
01:38:28,920 --> 01:38:31,856
She left, huh?
[Stu]
Yep. I don't blame her.
1731
01:38:33,491 --> 01:38:38,520
Her best line was,
"Barry Champlaign's
a nice place to visit,
1732
01:38:38,596 --> 01:38:41,031
but I wouldn't want
to live there."
1733
01:38:43,134 --> 01:38:45,501
The show's a washout, Stu.
1734
01:38:45,570 --> 01:38:49,029
Give me a break, will you?
We're going national, man.
1735
01:38:49,106 --> 01:38:52,668
Besides,
it's not that important.
It's just one show.
1736
01:38:54,312 --> 01:38:57,840
If it's not that important,
why am I doing it?
I don't know, Barry.
1737
01:38:57,915 --> 01:38:59,941
[Elevator Bell Dings]
You don't like the heights,
don't climb the mountains.
1738
01:39:00,017 --> 01:39:03,818
You know what I mean?
It's like that kid
just said:
1739
01:39:03,888 --> 01:39:06,722
"Man, this is your show."
1740
01:39:06,791 --> 01:39:08,726
Where you headed?
1741
01:39:10,127 --> 01:39:15,361
I don't know.
Go to Ellen's hotel,
try to talk.
1742
01:39:15,433 --> 01:39:17,959
That's good.
Tomorrow, Barry.
1743
01:39:18,035 --> 01:39:19,970
[Woman DJ]
Before I take
the first caller this evening,
1744
01:39:20,037 --> 01:39:22,632
Tomorrow, Stu.
I'd like to comment
on something I saw...
1745
01:39:22,707 --> 01:39:26,075
in the parking lot
on the way into the station.
1746
01:39:26,143 --> 01:39:29,944
There was a man standing there,
Walk you to your car?
1747
01:39:30,014 --> 01:39:31,949
obviously mentally disturbed.
1748
01:39:32,016 --> 01:39:34,747
It made me think about something
we don't often talk about.
1749
01:39:37,421 --> 01:39:40,016
Wanna grab a burger,
just talk?
1750
01:39:45,596 --> 01:39:48,031
I'm too old for you,
Laura.
1751
01:39:48,099 --> 01:39:50,034
Ow.
1752
01:39:51,569 --> 01:39:56,200
I mean, you don't
know about Vietnam,
1753
01:39:56,274 --> 01:39:59,005
Easy Rider, Beatles.
1754
01:39:59,076 --> 01:40:01,170
[Siren Wailing]
Start over, Grandpa.
1755
01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:05,845
I can't.
1756
01:40:05,917 --> 01:40:08,318
I'm inside this thing.
1757
01:40:08,386 --> 01:40:10,321
You're not.
1758
01:40:12,857 --> 01:40:15,292
You know what
my greatest fear is?
1759
01:40:16,394 --> 01:40:18,329
Being boring.
1760
01:40:19,397 --> 01:40:22,595
You're not boring.
1761
01:40:22,667 --> 01:40:27,605
I'm afraid that
the whole audience
is gonna get up and leave.
1762
01:40:33,411 --> 01:40:35,505
I get confused sometimes
about this love stuff.
1763
01:40:35,580 --> 01:40:41,019
I don't know what
people mean when they say
that they're in love,
1764
01:40:41,085 --> 01:40:43,020
but--
1765
01:40:44,922 --> 01:40:48,859
but I do know that
I don't think you're
the bad guy you think you are.
1766
01:40:52,863 --> 01:40:54,798
Yes, I am.
1767
01:40:55,866 --> 01:40:58,199
I'll take a rain check
on that burger.
1768
01:41:10,181 --> 01:41:12,047
[Car Door Opens,
Closes]
1769
01:41:16,520 --> 01:41:20,457
Excuse me, Barry.
Barry. Mr. Champlaign.
1770
01:41:20,524 --> 01:41:23,688
I hate to bother you.
Do you think you could
give me an autograph, please?
1771
01:41:23,761 --> 01:41:26,253
Some show tonight.
Sure.
1772
01:41:26,330 --> 01:41:29,232
What'd you say your name was?
You're dead, fucker.
1773
01:42:12,910 --> 01:42:14,845
You come on down
to these parts,
1774
01:42:14,912 --> 01:42:17,814
you start telling people
their business
and insulting their race,
1775
01:42:17,882 --> 01:42:20,545
you end up like Champlaign,
I'll tell you that right now.
1776
01:42:20,618 --> 01:42:24,146
I listened to his show
the night that
he was killed.
1777
01:42:24,221 --> 01:42:27,851
There was this drug-crazed
kid bothering him.
1778
01:42:27,925 --> 01:42:32,329
When people smoke
that crack stuff,
they go berserk, you know?
1779
01:42:32,396 --> 01:42:34,331
I hope they catch
that kid.
1780
01:42:34,398 --> 01:42:37,732
But they ought to listen
to that show.
He was on the air.
1781
01:42:37,802 --> 01:42:40,670
I didn't think he was gonna
get shot or anything,
1782
01:42:40,738 --> 01:42:42,866
but that show was strange.
1783
01:42:42,940 --> 01:42:47,036
I mean, I got to be
on his show the last day.
That was his last show.
1784
01:42:47,111 --> 01:42:50,479
I feel kinda like
my whole life
is different, you know?
1785
01:42:50,548 --> 01:42:53,313
Like I'm kinda blessed.
1786
01:42:53,384 --> 01:42:56,980
But like I told Barry,
you know, I mean, hey,
1787
01:42:57,054 --> 01:43:01,287
life is kinda just like
a big party
thrown by God,
1788
01:43:01,358 --> 01:43:03,793
and I'm the new
toastmaster, Bar.
[Laughing]
1789
01:43:18,242 --> 01:43:20,677
Like Barry always said,
1790
01:43:20,745 --> 01:43:24,182
if you didn't like him,
turn him off.
1791
01:43:26,217 --> 01:43:28,516
But they didn't have
to kill him.
1792
01:43:28,586 --> 01:43:32,717
I think that young boy that
had come in on the show,
I think he did it.
1793
01:43:32,790 --> 01:43:34,725
I'll tell you
how I feel about it.
1794
01:43:34,792 --> 01:43:36,727
I think if you steal something,
they oughta
cut your hands off.
1795
01:43:36,794 --> 01:43:38,786
If you rape somebody,
they oughta cut your
you-know-what off.
1796
01:43:38,863 --> 01:43:41,765
I never called him.
1797
01:43:41,832 --> 01:43:43,994
And now I'm sorry.
1798
01:43:44,068 --> 01:43:46,003
He never even hung up on me.
1799
01:43:48,038 --> 01:43:50,906
I miss him.
You know how when you have
a cast on your arm...
1800
01:43:50,975 --> 01:43:53,137
and they cut it off,
you miss having it?
1801
01:43:53,210 --> 01:43:57,113
He was like
a cast on my arm.
I miss him.
1802
01:43:57,181 --> 01:43:59,980
He was like a hot-fudge sundae
with fresh pecans.
1803
01:44:00,050 --> 01:44:02,849
Now, I knew I shouldn't
listen to him
'cause he always got me...
1804
01:44:02,920 --> 01:44:06,413
so dog-dang riled up
till I was like
to smash my radio.
1805
01:44:06,490 --> 01:44:10,757
He did a whole show once
on which way to roll
your toilet paper.
1806
01:44:10,828 --> 01:44:15,095
Over or under?
People responded for hours.
1807
01:44:15,166 --> 01:44:17,397
Some got so angry,
they hung up.
1808
01:44:17,468 --> 01:44:21,269
I called almost every night.
I loved Barry.
1809
01:44:21,338 --> 01:44:24,069
Didn't care much for the fellow
who answered the phone, though.
1810
01:44:24,141 --> 01:44:26,975
You know, he always forgot
I was waiting on the line.
1811
01:44:27,044 --> 01:44:30,811
Didn't I read he was
having some kind of problem
with his wife?
1812
01:44:30,881 --> 01:44:33,851
Yes, he was
insensitive and nasty,
1813
01:44:33,918 --> 01:44:36,854
but he was a strong,
masculine presence
on the radio.
1814
01:44:36,921 --> 01:44:39,982
Why would anyone
do such a thing?
1815
01:44:40,057 --> 01:44:44,256
Oh, well,
there's another bright star
in God's heaven.
1816
01:44:44,328 --> 01:44:48,424
My view is that you don't give
a group like the neo-Nazis...
1817
01:44:48,499 --> 01:44:50,434
access to the airways
like he did.
1818
01:44:50,501 --> 01:44:53,437
Basically, I couldn't stand
Barry Champlaign.
1819
01:44:53,504 --> 01:44:57,407
I was in love with his voice.
I was in love
with his voice.
1820
01:44:57,474 --> 01:44:59,739
He was in love
with his own voice.
1821
01:44:59,810 --> 01:45:05,579
My first thought was that
I couldn't believe anyone
could hate him that much.
1822
01:45:05,649 --> 01:45:10,986
Disagree or dislike,
but not hate him.
Not kill him.
1823
01:45:13,157 --> 01:45:15,956
My second thought was...
1824
01:45:16,026 --> 01:45:19,656
that he always wondered
if there was a God.
1825
01:45:19,730 --> 01:45:23,167
Barry said he had to wait
until the evidence was in.
1826
01:45:25,736 --> 01:45:27,671
Now you know, Barry.
1827
01:45:27,738 --> 01:45:29,434
Now you know.
1828
01:45:30,274 --> 01:45:34,735
Now, we know that whatever
the law says, it speaks
to those under the law...
1829
01:45:34,812 --> 01:45:39,216
so that every mouth
may be stopped...
1830
01:45:39,283 --> 01:45:43,379
and the whole world
may be held accountable to God.
1831
01:45:43,454 --> 01:45:45,389
The world is crazy, crazy!
1832
01:45:45,456 --> 01:45:48,688
Barry was rude, but
he was a funny guy too.
1833
01:45:48,759 --> 01:45:51,228
He insulted my mother
when I called,
1834
01:45:51,295 --> 01:45:53,730
but this is why we have
freedom of speech.
1835
01:45:53,797 --> 01:45:56,892
I hope that when
they remember Barry,
1836
01:45:56,967 --> 01:45:59,960
they remember
what he said...
1837
01:46:00,037 --> 01:46:02,563
and not the style
in which he said it.
1838
01:46:02,640 --> 01:46:04,575
It was karmic.
1839
01:46:04,642 --> 01:46:06,668
You just can't put out
that much bad karma...
1840
01:46:06,744 --> 01:46:08,713
without it coming
back at you.
1841
01:46:08,779 --> 01:46:11,715
Barry and I worked together
for over seven years.
1842
01:46:11,782 --> 01:46:15,719
Whenever you threatened him
over the air, man, he'd stick it
right back in your face.
1843
01:46:15,786 --> 01:46:17,721
It was like his dick
was flapping in the wing...
1844
01:46:17,788 --> 01:46:20,519
and he liked to see
if he could get an erection.
1845
01:46:20,591 --> 01:46:25,154
The guy had a little dick, but
he liked to flap it out there.
1846
01:46:25,229 --> 01:46:28,097
Then they cut if off.
Now he's dead.
1847
01:46:28,165 --> 01:46:30,862
I don't know if you
understand that analogy,
1848
01:46:30,935 --> 01:46:32,870
but it's the clearest one
I can make.
159521
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