Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:38,647
God, our creator and redeemer,
2
00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:43,088
confident of your eternal
victory over evil,
3
00:00:43,157 --> 00:00:50,359
we entrust Sebastian
into your loving embrace.
4
00:00:50,431 --> 00:00:56,301
We have entrusted our brother
Sebastian to God's mercy,
5
00:00:56,370 --> 00:01:01,535
and we now commit his body
to the ground.
6
00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:04,076
Earth to earth,
7
00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:06,078
ashes to ashes,
8
00:01:06,146 --> 00:01:08,239
dust to dust,
9
00:01:08,315 --> 00:01:13,275
in sure and certain hope
ofhis resurrection.
10
00:01:13,353 --> 00:01:14,820
Amen.
11
00:01:17,691 --> 00:01:20,717
He was my little angel.
12
00:01:25,632 --> 00:01:28,328
Itjust isn't right.
13
00:01:28,402 --> 00:01:31,530
He didn't have to die.
14
00:01:31,605 --> 00:01:33,766
Not like this.
15
00:02:06,773 --> 00:02:08,968
For someone who was
light in his loafers,
16
00:02:09,042 --> 00:02:11,010
he sure left a heavy corpse.
17
00:02:11,078 --> 00:02:13,012
Honestly, Velma.
You're too much!
18
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,378
Well, did you hear
what he was buried in?
19
00:02:15,449 --> 00:02:17,417
A kimono
and a pinkie ring!
20
00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:19,111
- No!
- I rest my case.
21
00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:20,676
I don't quite follow.
22
00:02:20,754 --> 00:02:22,119
He was a Nancy boy.
23
00:02:22,189 --> 00:02:23,622
You know, a fruitcake.
24
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:25,453
Afriend of Dorothy?
25
00:02:25,526 --> 00:02:27,494
Confirmed bachelor?
26
00:02:27,561 --> 00:02:28,721
Asalad spinner.
27
00:02:28,795 --> 00:02:31,025
AChardonnay Charlie.
28
00:02:34,701 --> 00:02:37,192
Afigure skater!
29
00:02:37,271 --> 00:02:40,138
Oh!
He was a fag!
30
00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:49,845
Man, that guy gives newmeaning
to the words, "dead weight."
31
00:02:49,917 --> 00:02:51,407
Boy, howdy!
32
00:02:51,485 --> 00:02:54,079
I thought we were
burying a block of cement.
33
00:02:54,154 --> 00:02:55,951
Well, what do you say
we knock off early
34
00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:57,786
and head down to
McFeeney McGee's?
35
00:02:57,858 --> 00:02:59,382
I'm right behind you!
36
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:00,983
Wait a second!
37
00:03:01,061 --> 00:03:02,756
Where are you goin'?
38
00:03:02,829 --> 00:03:06,230
I'm goin' to McFeeney McGee's,
like wejust said!
39
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,392
I'm taking the short cut.
40
00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:09,230
Not through the Exit 5
Rest Stop?
41
00:03:09,303 --> 00:03:11,032
Yeah, what ofit?
42
00:03:11,104 --> 00:03:13,698
There's something strange
goin' on down there.
43
00:03:13,774 --> 00:03:15,674
Joey says
the place is haunted!
44
00:03:15,742 --> 00:03:16,970
Haunted?
45
00:03:17,044 --> 00:03:18,136
There ain't no such
thing as ghosts.
46
00:03:18,211 --> 00:03:19,235
You knowthat.
47
00:03:19,313 --> 00:03:20,473
Yeah, but...
48
00:03:20,547 --> 00:03:22,014
Howdoes Joey know, anyway?
49
00:03:22,082 --> 00:03:23,811
Does he hang out there?
50
00:03:23,884 --> 00:03:25,442
You knowJoey ain't like that.
51
00:03:25,519 --> 00:03:27,680
He stopped by there last week
to stretch his legs,
52
00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:29,016
and he said...
53
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,647
Stretch his legs.
54
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:32,715
It all sounds
pretty queerto me.
55
00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:33,885
Nowlet's go.
56
00:03:33,961 --> 00:03:36,156
Ghost or no, I ain't goin'
anywhere near that place.
57
00:03:36,229 --> 00:03:37,127
Joey said...
58
00:03:37,197 --> 00:03:39,791
Joey said, Joey said!
59
00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:42,801
Fine, you win, but if we gotta
take the long way around,
60
00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:44,962
the first beer's on you.
61
00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:48,570
Nowwhere're you goin'?
62
00:03:48,642 --> 00:03:50,439
Through the Indian
burial ground.
63
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,001
Oh, I thought we might go up
by Dead Man's Lake.
64
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,775
Oh, yeah, that's good too.
65
00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:56,315
Yeah, then we can stop off
at the beauty parlor
66
00:03:56,383 --> 00:03:57,577
and pick up Joey -
67
00:03:57,651 --> 00:03:59,448
ifhe's not too busy
stretching his legs.
68
00:03:59,519 --> 00:04:01,919
Aw, go on!
69
00:04:29,883 --> 00:04:34,013
It was 1967 -
the summer oflove.
70
00:04:34,087 --> 00:04:37,579
England had decriminalized
sex between men.
71
00:04:37,658 --> 00:04:40,923
The Oscar Wilde Book Shop
first opened its doors
72
00:04:40,994 --> 00:04:42,825
in New York City.
73
00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:46,195
And Ladybird
was in the White House!
74
00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:49,394
These were heady
and exciting times.
75
00:04:49,469 --> 00:04:52,905
No one could have known
it was all about to come
76
00:04:52,973 --> 00:04:55,533
crashing down around us.
77
00:04:57,944 --> 00:05:00,344
Isn't it
a beautiful evening?
78
00:05:00,414 --> 00:05:03,178
Let's pull over here
and watch the sunset, shall we?
79
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:06,014
Sure.
I gotta take a leak anyway.
80
00:05:16,596 --> 00:05:19,497
I wish you could come to
my birthday party this weekend.
81
00:05:19,566 --> 00:05:22,262
All my friends
are dying to meet you.
82
00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:24,428
Sorry - a bunch of stuff
just came up at work.
83
00:05:24,504 --> 00:05:26,301
Not gonna
be able to make it.
84
00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:28,967
But Bobby!
You promised.
85
00:05:29,042 --> 00:05:31,408
I wanted to show
all my friends the real you.
86
00:05:31,478 --> 00:05:33,810
I'll showthem the real me.
87
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,075
Bobby, be serious.
88
00:05:38,318 --> 00:05:40,650
Who the hell do they think I am?
89
00:05:40,721 --> 00:05:44,248
Well, they said you were a lousy
two-timing cockroach
90
00:05:44,324 --> 00:05:47,293
in tight slacks
and cheap cologne.
91
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,725
That's crap!
92
00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:51,093
I pay a lot of money
for my cologne.
93
00:05:51,164 --> 00:05:54,031
Please, Bobby.
It's my birthday.
94
00:05:54,101 --> 00:05:57,093
Listen, cupcake, I told you.
95
00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:59,195
I have to work this weekend.
96
00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:02,673
But don't worry.
You'll get your present.
97
00:06:02,743 --> 00:06:06,474
Being with you is more of a
present than any boy deserves!
98
00:06:06,546 --> 00:06:08,639
You're the bee's knees, Bobby!
99
00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:10,080
Right.
100
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:11,378
And you're the cream
in my coffee.
101
00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:14,249
Listen, babe, I've gotta work
early tomorrowmorning.
102
00:06:14,321 --> 00:06:15,549
Right.
103
00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:17,852
Those burgers aren't gonna
flip themselves!
104
00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:19,289
That's the spirit!
105
00:06:19,359 --> 00:06:21,293
So you don't mind
hoofing it from here?
106
00:06:21,361 --> 00:06:22,794
That's a six-mile walk.
107
00:06:22,863 --> 00:06:24,125
Six miles?
108
00:06:24,197 --> 00:06:25,994
You'd better get started.
109
00:06:26,066 --> 00:06:28,000
It's gonna be dark soon.
110
00:06:29,503 --> 00:06:31,733
Hey, watch the paintjob!
111
00:06:31,805 --> 00:06:33,830
Daddy just got
this baby detailed.
112
00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:35,465
Oh, sorry.
113
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,772
Well, I'll see you
later, then.
114
00:06:37,844 --> 00:06:39,835
Not ifl see you first.
115
00:06:45,352 --> 00:06:46,444
Wait.
116
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,488
I thought Burger Queen
was closed this weekend
117
00:06:48,555 --> 00:06:51,251
so they could
clean the grease traps.
118
00:07:37,571 --> 00:07:39,539
They're out
for blood tonight, huh?
119
00:07:41,341 --> 00:07:43,036
Yep.
120
00:07:44,244 --> 00:07:46,542
It's a beautiful
evening, though.
121
00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:50,611
Yeah, it's great.
122
00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:54,754
You wouldn't happen to know
the time, would you?
123
00:07:54,821 --> 00:07:58,723
Sure.
It's about 9:30.
124
00:07:59,626 --> 00:08:01,958
Say friend,
do you have a light?
125
00:08:02,028 --> 00:08:05,293
I can't seem to find mine.
126
00:08:05,365 --> 00:08:07,458
Did you check all your pockets?
127
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,695
I think so.
128
00:08:09,769 --> 00:08:11,794
Maybe I need some help.
129
00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:15,831
Sure... always glad to help
my fellowman.
130
00:08:20,614 --> 00:08:22,639
Found it.
131
00:08:32,626 --> 00:08:36,892
Oops...
I seem to have dropped it.
132
00:08:36,963 --> 00:08:38,897
Why don't I go down and get it?
133
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:41,934
Yeah.
Why don't you?
134
00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:47,765
Kinda dark out here.
135
00:08:47,841 --> 00:08:51,072
You may have to
feel around for it.
136
00:10:08,521 --> 00:10:11,115
Blasted mosquitoes!
137
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:13,250
Here it is!
138
00:10:13,326 --> 00:10:15,055
Oops!
139
00:10:15,128 --> 00:10:17,358
Nowl seem to
have dropped it.
140
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:20,024
You should really
be more careful.
141
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,364
Maybe you should go
search for it this time.
142
00:10:22,435 --> 00:10:23,493
Nah.
143
00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,470
I got another one
like it at home.
144
00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:29,338
If you find it...
you can keep it.
145
00:10:29,409 --> 00:10:31,172
Happy hunting!
146
00:10:33,913 --> 00:10:37,508
Wait... here it is!
147
00:10:42,822 --> 00:10:45,655
Oops, nowl've
dropped it again!
148
00:10:45,725 --> 00:10:48,785
Howabout some help?
149
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:52,798
I sure could use someone to come
down and help me get it!
150
00:10:57,937 --> 00:11:01,304
I don't even smoke,
you selfishjerk!
151
00:11:19,826 --> 00:11:21,453
Evening.
152
00:11:24,397 --> 00:11:26,627
Beautiful night, isn't it?
153
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:33,404
Do you have the time?
154
00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:43,407
Oops.
155
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,974
I seem to have
dropped my lighter.
156
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,648
I sure could use some help
looking for it.
157
00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:56,896
It's pretty dark out here.
158
00:11:58,765 --> 00:12:04,328
You might have to crouch down
and feel around for it.
159
00:12:07,073 --> 00:12:11,066
Oh, the quiet type, huh?
160
00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:14,341
I got something you can
put in your mouth.
161
00:12:20,353 --> 00:12:24,949
Hey...
what's wrong with yourface?
162
00:12:25,024 --> 00:12:28,858
What... what are you?
163
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:32,355
Stay back!
164
00:12:32,432 --> 00:12:34,127
Get away!
165
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,464
GETAWAY!!
166
00:12:36,536 --> 00:12:39,164
NOOOOOOO!
167
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:33,281
Aren't birthdays
the greatest?
168
00:14:33,353 --> 00:14:35,617
Cake, presents, streamers,
169
00:14:35,688 --> 00:14:38,851
and a chance to catch up
with the ones you love.
170
00:14:38,925 --> 00:14:41,917
That summer my best friend
Stan threwa party for me
171
00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:44,088
at his brand newbeach cottage.
172
00:14:44,163 --> 00:14:47,724
Stan is the quintessential
host with the most.
173
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,825
He's always got
a song in his heart,
174
00:14:49,902 --> 00:14:52,132
he's kind to children
and animals,
175
00:14:52,205 --> 00:14:55,902
and he can roll a pig in a
blanket like nobody's business.
176
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,409
His lover Billy was there, too.
177
00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:00,173
Boy, what a side ofbeef!
178
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:02,771
Not to mention
level-headed, smart,
179
00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:06,148
and as trustworthy
as a Catholic priest.
180
00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:11,156
Then there was Randall,
the wise old sage of the group.
181
00:15:11,224 --> 00:15:14,318
He brought Gary that weekend.
They seemed to have a healthy
182
00:15:14,394 --> 00:15:19,195
relationship built around
mutual trust and respect.
183
00:15:19,265 --> 00:15:21,825
And Joseph was there.
184
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:25,064
Sweet, shy,
and with an inner strength
185
00:15:25,138 --> 00:15:28,005
that most peoplejust don't see.
186
00:15:28,074 --> 00:15:32,272
This was going to be
my best birthday ever.
187
00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:34,779
But Fate had other plans.
188
00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:38,010
It all started
with a radio bulletin...
189
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:41,110
We interrupt this program
with a special bulletin.
190
00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:44,452
The mysterious West End Virus
has claimed another victim.
191
00:15:44,524 --> 00:15:46,458
Investigators have confirmed
that the death
192
00:15:46,526 --> 00:15:49,120
of 37-year-old
Sebastian Camembert was most
193
00:15:49,195 --> 00:15:52,164
probably due to this horrifying
phantom affliction,
194
00:15:52,231 --> 00:15:54,893
which has claimed five other
victims in the past week.
195
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:57,765
The Centerfor Epidemic Control
has issued its strongest warning
196
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:01,102
yet regarding this virus.
Citizens are urged to report
197
00:16:01,174 --> 00:16:04,337
to medical authorities at the
onset of any flu-like symptoms
198
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:07,174
for extensive screening
and observation.
199
00:16:07,246 --> 00:16:09,874
Town scientists are searching
for the origin ofthis blight,
200
00:16:09,949 --> 00:16:12,042
exploring local swamps
and mosquito nests
201
00:16:12,118 --> 00:16:15,315
surrounding the highly
controversial Chemical Plant.
202
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:17,515
Chemical plant spokesmen
deny any connection
203
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:20,184
to the mysterious deaths,
despite public suspicion
204
00:16:20,259 --> 00:16:23,228
and accusations
from the latest victim's family.
205
00:16:23,296 --> 00:16:26,288
The victim, a confirmed
bachelor, was a graduate
206
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:28,596
of Lucky Pierre's
School of Cosmetology,
207
00:16:28,668 --> 00:16:30,761
and enjoyed volunteering
at the community theatre,
208
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:32,464
figure skating,
and twilight picnics
209
00:16:32,538 --> 00:16:34,631
at local scenic rest stops.
210
00:16:34,707 --> 00:16:37,039
I love twilight picnics.
211
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:39,977
Mr. Camembert is survived
by a devoted mother,
212
00:16:40,046 --> 00:16:43,504
two sisters,
and his beloved shitzu, Blanche.
213
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,074
And now, a word
from our sponsor.
214
00:16:48,154 --> 00:16:52,147
"Exit 5 Rest Stop"
215
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:12,299
Anybody home?
216
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:15,505
Hey, lover.
217
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,406
Hello, hot stuff.
218
00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:19,634
I've missed you!
219
00:18:19,712 --> 00:18:22,772
Lovely to see you,
Joseph.
220
00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:24,874
William Luckinbill,
don't be such a boor!
221
00:18:24,951 --> 00:18:26,213
Take your cousin's bag.
222
00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:28,048
That's OK.
I can get it.
223
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,348
Well all right, then.
224
00:18:29,422 --> 00:18:32,550
Let's get you inside and get you
out ofthose hot clothes!
225
00:18:42,201 --> 00:18:45,534
Honey, you can set yourthings
in the first bedroom there.
226
00:18:47,974 --> 00:18:50,135
Howwas yourtrip, darling?
227
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:52,473
I hope it wasn't too unbearable.
228
00:18:52,545 --> 00:18:54,206
Only the last half-mile.
229
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,475
I hate having to trudge
all the way up here
230
00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:58,517
from that old
abandoned logging road.
231
00:18:58,584 --> 00:19:00,552
Well you'll have to
get used to it, he-man.
232
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,087
They're not gonna
replace that bridge
233
00:19:02,154 --> 00:19:03,781
for at least
another month!
234
00:19:03,856 --> 00:19:07,121
Joseph, honey, would you
like something to drink?
235
00:19:07,193 --> 00:19:08,524
Some lemonade, maybe?
236
00:19:08,594 --> 00:19:10,459
No thanks, Stan.
I'm fine.
237
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:12,020
I'll be out in a minute.
238
00:19:12,098 --> 00:19:15,295
Honestly, we'll be lucky
ifthat child comes out at all.
239
00:19:15,368 --> 00:19:18,166
Oh, he'sjust shy is all.
240
00:19:18,237 --> 00:19:21,035
Not after a weekend
with this crowd.
241
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,643
Well, this must be the place.
242
00:19:27,713 --> 00:19:29,203
How can you tell?
243
00:19:29,282 --> 00:19:32,308
Well do you see any other
gingerbread houses around here?
244
00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:33,909
Gingerbread?
245
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:35,817
What happens
when it rains?
246
00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:38,254
Shhh!
247
00:19:38,324 --> 00:19:40,588
You're so attractive.
248
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:42,628
Don't ruin it.
249
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,043
Randall!
250
00:20:03,115 --> 00:20:05,276
Hello, stranger.
251
00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:07,410
It's been too long.
252
00:20:07,486 --> 00:20:09,283
And this must be...
253
00:20:09,355 --> 00:20:12,688
This is the flavor of
the weekend, Gary LaTourneaux.
254
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:16,194
Gary, may I present
the lady ofthe house?
255
00:20:16,829 --> 00:20:18,763
What's up, my brother?
256
00:20:18,831 --> 00:20:20,822
Slap me some skin!
257
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:23,130
Mary, put that hand away -
258
00:20:23,202 --> 00:20:25,067
and give me a hug!
259
00:20:26,105 --> 00:20:29,006
Well, look what
the cat dragged in -
260
00:20:29,075 --> 00:20:31,236
an older, uglier cat!
261
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:36,213
Did it take you the entire bus
ride to think that one up?
262
00:20:36,282 --> 00:20:40,048
No, itjust popped into my head,
all spontaneous like.
263
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:45,056
Watching the species evolve,
right before my eyes.
264
00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:50,858
Nowhelp this one with my bags,
like the kept woman you are.
265
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:52,659
Is this one allowed to talk?
266
00:20:52,732 --> 00:20:53,960
No!
267
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,627
But he is allowed to scream -
268
00:20:56,702 --> 00:20:59,933
my name... tonight -
repeatedly.
269
00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:01,803
I hope we don't
keep you up.
270
00:21:01,874 --> 00:21:04,434
I'm surprised you can keep
anything up at your age.
271
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:07,411
Laugh it up, helium heels!
272
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,607
All right, children,
enough ofthat!
273
00:21:09,682 --> 00:21:11,809
Come inside.
See the newhouse.
274
00:21:18,624 --> 00:21:20,751
This is beautiful!
275
00:21:20,826 --> 00:21:23,021
Isn't it?
It was built in 1935
276
00:21:23,095 --> 00:21:25,188
and still has most
ofthe original floorboards.
277
00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:27,596
The marble birdbath
is hand-carved.
278
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,932
And the entire kitchen
is fireproofed with asbestos.
279
00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:31,992
I love it!
280
00:21:32,071 --> 00:21:33,402
Everybody loves my house.
281
00:21:33,472 --> 00:21:34,700
The stairs over there...
282
00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:38,005
Oh, screwthe stairs!
Where's the crapper?
283
00:21:45,918 --> 00:21:49,911
I don't knowabout anybody else,
but I'm ready for a swim!
284
00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:52,457
Sounds good to me!
285
00:22:30,463 --> 00:22:33,557
I've got a two-piece in the
closet if you want tojoin them.
286
00:22:33,632 --> 00:22:36,897
I doubt Romeo and Juliet
would appreciate the company.
287
00:22:36,969 --> 00:22:39,096
Honey, they're just swimming.
288
00:22:39,739 --> 00:22:41,570
Ow.
289
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,474
I don't think either one of them
is wearing insect repellent.
290
00:22:55,888 --> 00:22:57,617
So, you and Stan, huh?
291
00:22:57,690 --> 00:22:59,681
Yup.
Fouryears this August.
292
00:22:59,759 --> 00:23:00,953
Howlong have you
293
00:23:01,026 --> 00:23:02,653
and Cruella De Vil
been going steady?
294
00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:04,628
Four hours this afternoon.
295
00:23:04,697 --> 00:23:06,995
Four hours?
That must be a record for him.
296
00:23:07,066 --> 00:23:08,658
Well, it is for me.
297
00:23:26,218 --> 00:23:29,312
I just sat down for a minute
and I must've dozed off.
298
00:23:29,388 --> 00:23:31,185
Did I miss anything?
299
00:23:31,257 --> 00:23:34,124
Honey, come meet Randall.
300
00:23:34,193 --> 00:23:36,855
Joseph,
this is Randall -
301
00:23:36,929 --> 00:23:39,727
one of my dearest
and oldest friends.
302
00:23:39,799 --> 00:23:41,164
Randall, this...
303
00:23:41,233 --> 00:23:43,133
Let me guess.
304
00:23:43,202 --> 00:23:45,602
This is your
straight-but-not-narrow
305
00:23:45,671 --> 00:23:48,902
college roommate,
who's come to visit unexpectedly
306
00:23:48,974 --> 00:23:51,966
to tease us with some
devastating secret
307
00:23:52,044 --> 00:23:55,536
all night long before
ultimately reconsidering
308
00:23:55,614 --> 00:24:00,916
and lashing out in a
self-loathing homophobic fury.
309
00:24:00,986 --> 00:24:02,544
Am I right?
310
00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:04,680
Child, what tune
are you playing?
311
00:24:04,757 --> 00:24:06,418
This is Joseph,
Billy's cousin.
312
00:24:06,492 --> 00:24:08,756
He's not homophobic.
He'sjust shy.
313
00:24:08,828 --> 00:24:10,386
Lovely.
314
00:24:10,462 --> 00:24:13,920
Five tired,
screaming fairy queens
315
00:24:13,999 --> 00:24:16,365
and one anxious queer.
316
00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:20,833
It's a pleasure
to meet you, Joseph.
317
00:24:20,906 --> 00:24:23,238
Charmed, I'm sure.
318
00:24:25,411 --> 00:24:27,811
Must be nice
living on your own lagoon.
319
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,177
Oh, I don't live here.
320
00:24:29,248 --> 00:24:31,978
I've got a room back at
the YMCAin the city.
321
00:24:32,051 --> 00:24:33,951
So you and Stan
don't live together?
322
00:24:34,019 --> 00:24:35,179
Live together?
323
00:24:35,254 --> 00:24:36,653
Living together's for squares!
324
00:24:36,722 --> 00:24:38,314
What do we look like -
Ozzie and Harriet?
325
00:24:38,390 --> 00:24:39,914
I love that show.
326
00:24:39,992 --> 00:24:43,018
I mean, I love him and all,
but you knowwhat they say:
327
00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:45,586
Monogamy equals monotony.
328
00:24:45,664 --> 00:24:47,655
Ozzie and Harriet said that?
329
00:24:47,733 --> 00:24:51,260
Besides, I need to pump iron
at least twice a day
330
00:24:51,337 --> 00:24:53,396
and Stan won't let me
bring my barbells
331
00:24:53,472 --> 00:24:55,440
anywhere nearthe house.
332
00:24:55,507 --> 00:24:57,839
Have you done any pumping today?
333
00:24:57,910 --> 00:24:59,810
Not yet.
334
00:25:04,617 --> 00:25:06,551
I'm here!
335
00:25:06,619 --> 00:25:08,052
Phillip!
Oh, good!
336
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,747
I was starting to get worried!
337
00:25:09,822 --> 00:25:11,016
Did you get lost?
338
00:25:11,090 --> 00:25:12,580
Oh, no,
nothing like that.
339
00:25:12,658 --> 00:25:14,057
I was just up
late last night
340
00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:17,061
taking the most glorious
moonlit stroll.
341
00:25:17,129 --> 00:25:19,393
I must've slept right through
my alarm clock.
342
00:25:19,465 --> 00:25:21,433
Well, it is good to see you.
343
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,263
And happy birthday!
344
00:25:23,335 --> 00:25:26,793
Good lord, child!
What is that smell?
345
00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:30,137
Oh, that must be Bobby's
after-shave you smell.
346
00:25:30,209 --> 00:25:32,234
We were together last night.
347
00:25:32,311 --> 00:25:34,279
It's Butch 22!
348
00:25:34,346 --> 00:25:36,837
Oh, cripes.
He's not still daddling
349
00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:40,010
that walking grease factory,
is he?
350
00:25:40,085 --> 00:25:41,575
Well hello, Randall.
351
00:25:41,654 --> 00:25:43,815
You're looking betterthan ever!
352
00:25:43,889 --> 00:25:47,222
And you are still
a horrible liar, cupcake.
353
00:25:47,293 --> 00:25:48,851
Good to see you.
354
00:25:48,928 --> 00:25:51,294
Oh, god!
You reek ofthat stuff!
355
00:25:51,363 --> 00:25:53,024
Didn't you bathe this morning?
356
00:25:53,098 --> 00:25:54,759
Of course I did.
357
00:25:54,833 --> 00:25:56,698
But his fragrancejust seems
to stick to me, like...
358
00:25:56,769 --> 00:25:58,703
Like spooge in a shower?
359
00:25:58,771 --> 00:26:01,137
I have a feeling he's gonna
stop by this weekend
360
00:26:01,206 --> 00:26:02,537
and surprise me.
361
00:26:02,608 --> 00:26:04,166
I can't wait
for you all to meet him.
362
00:26:04,243 --> 00:26:06,541
What makes you think we haven't?
363
00:26:07,513 --> 00:26:09,003
Joseph?
364
00:26:09,081 --> 00:26:11,049
Why, it's been ages!
365
00:26:11,116 --> 00:26:13,414
Hello, Phillip.
Happy birthday.
366
00:26:16,455 --> 00:26:19,219
Oh, I could watch this all day.
367
00:26:24,697 --> 00:26:27,131
Billy! Gary!
368
00:26:27,199 --> 00:26:29,895
Our guest ofhonor
has arrived!
369
00:26:30,869 --> 00:26:33,235
Meet me back here
after lunch, OK?
370
00:26:43,882 --> 00:26:45,315
Don't be a stick in the mud!
371
00:26:45,384 --> 00:26:46,976
We got dancing music on!
372
00:26:47,052 --> 00:26:49,452
I'm gonna sit
this one out, cookie.
373
00:26:49,521 --> 00:26:52,115
Oh, you won't get
that one to dance!
374
00:26:52,191 --> 00:26:54,591
Randall does not
like showtunes.
375
00:26:54,660 --> 00:26:56,719
What?
But we all love showtunes!
376
00:26:56,795 --> 00:26:59,195
There's no sweeter music
in the whole wide world!
377
00:26:59,264 --> 00:27:00,856
What can I say?
378
00:27:00,933 --> 00:27:03,629
I'm immune to its charms.
379
00:27:03,702 --> 00:27:06,227
He's got a tin ear
and two left feet.
380
00:27:06,305 --> 00:27:08,330
Rememberthat one move
we used to do?
381
00:27:08,407 --> 00:27:10,807
What was it, Stan?
You were the best at it.
382
00:27:10,876 --> 00:27:12,639
Yes, I was.
383
00:27:12,711 --> 00:27:16,579
Now step aside, ladies.
School is in session!
384
00:27:24,790 --> 00:27:29,022
"Hungry for You"
385
00:28:18,577 --> 00:28:20,545
Nice going, twinkle toes.
386
00:28:31,123 --> 00:28:32,715
They're comin'.
387
00:28:33,826 --> 00:28:35,851
They'll convert our children.
388
00:28:35,928 --> 00:28:37,759
They're an aberration!
389
00:28:37,830 --> 00:28:41,789
Filled with every kind of
wickedness and depravity:
390
00:28:41,867 --> 00:28:44,392
Strife, malice,
391
00:28:44,470 --> 00:28:48,031
deceit... murder!
392
00:28:48,107 --> 00:28:51,167
They're closer
than you think!
393
00:28:51,243 --> 00:28:54,076
You won't know
until it's too late!
394
00:29:04,356 --> 00:29:06,824
Who's the old fruit
in the space suit?
395
00:29:06,892 --> 00:29:10,191
That's our next door
neighbor, Mr. Hastings.
396
00:29:10,262 --> 00:29:12,526
He's a little eccentric.
397
00:29:12,598 --> 00:29:15,328
Hello, Mr. Hastings!
398
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,335
Would you like to join
us for some ambrosia?
399
00:29:18,403 --> 00:29:20,462
Potato salad, maybe?
400
00:29:20,539 --> 00:29:21,972
You're asking for it,
401
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,769
dancing around like
that in the open!
402
00:29:23,842 --> 00:29:25,571
There's trouble comin',
you know.
403
00:29:25,644 --> 00:29:26,941
They'll get you
if you're not careful!
404
00:29:27,012 --> 00:29:28,707
Get you all, I tell you!
405
00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:31,874
Honey, why don't you sit down
and have some lunch?
406
00:29:31,950 --> 00:29:35,078
People say I'm crazy!
But I've seen what they can do.
407
00:29:35,154 --> 00:29:36,621
And I'm gonna be ready.
408
00:29:36,688 --> 00:29:38,713
I'm gonna stop them!
409
00:29:58,911 --> 00:30:00,606
No!
410
00:30:00,679 --> 00:30:02,977
NOOOO!
411
00:30:09,688 --> 00:30:13,522
My, that Gary
sure has a healthy appetite.
412
00:30:13,592 --> 00:30:15,617
In more ways than one.
413
00:30:15,694 --> 00:30:17,787
I guess I got a hollow stomach.
414
00:30:17,863 --> 00:30:20,593
Honey, at least
this one speaks English.
415
00:30:20,666 --> 00:30:22,429
And has all his teeth.
416
00:30:22,501 --> 00:30:26,631
Do I need to mention
the Cabo San Lucas incident?
417
00:30:26,705 --> 00:30:29,833
Oh, we swore we would
never speak of that again!
418
00:30:29,908 --> 00:30:32,240
Who's Cabo San Lucas?
419
00:30:32,311 --> 00:30:35,610
The patron saint of pubic lice,
in this case.
420
00:30:35,681 --> 00:30:39,583
Child, don't make me
pull out the photo album!
421
00:30:39,651 --> 00:30:42,916
Gosh, those guys sure have
quite a history, huh?
422
00:30:42,988 --> 00:30:44,819
We've all had some
crazy adventures
423
00:30:44,890 --> 00:30:46,915
since the last time
we sawyou.
424
00:30:46,992 --> 00:30:48,516
What have you been up to?
425
00:30:48,594 --> 00:30:50,926
Oh, you don't want to hear
about my boring old life.
426
00:30:50,996 --> 00:30:52,930
Don't be silly!
I want to hear everything.
427
00:30:52,998 --> 00:30:55,125
Maybe we can go
for a walk after I unpack.
428
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,531
That'd be swell!
429
00:30:56,602 --> 00:30:58,092
Walk, shmalk!
430
00:30:58,170 --> 00:31:00,104
You guys should
join me for a swim!
431
00:31:00,172 --> 00:31:01,537
I'm in!
432
00:31:01,607 --> 00:31:03,871
Maybe in 30 minutes.
You knowwhat they say.
433
00:31:03,942 --> 00:31:06,308
Monogamy equals Monopoly!
434
00:31:06,378 --> 00:31:08,846
No, silly!
No swimming right afteryou eat!
435
00:31:08,914 --> 00:31:10,541
Good.
That'll give you boys
436
00:31:10,616 --> 00:31:12,584
a chance to
clean up out here.
437
00:31:12,651 --> 00:31:15,882
I'm gonna help
our birthday boy unpack.
438
00:31:39,511 --> 00:31:43,072
Phillip, I don't want
to meddle...
439
00:31:43,148 --> 00:31:46,345
but this Bobby character
is bad news.
440
00:31:46,418 --> 00:31:49,148
Everyone keeps saying that,
but youjust haven't gotten
441
00:31:49,221 --> 00:31:53,180
to knowhim yet.
Deep down, he is the sweetest,
442
00:31:53,258 --> 00:31:56,694
most considerate man
I've ever been with!
443
00:31:56,762 --> 00:31:58,696
Honey, we are your friends.
444
00:31:58,764 --> 00:32:01,324
And we'rejust looking out
foryour well-being.
445
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,392
Howmuch do you
really knowabout this man?
446
00:32:04,469 --> 00:32:06,027
I knowhe makes me happy.
447
00:32:06,104 --> 00:32:08,800
I knowl tingle
when we're together
448
00:32:08,874 --> 00:32:10,967
and I ache
when we're apart.
449
00:32:11,043 --> 00:32:12,305
Mmm hmm.
450
00:32:12,377 --> 00:32:15,005
You might try some
penicillin for that, Mary.
451
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,843
I'm serious.
452
00:32:16,915 --> 00:32:18,974
I'm sorry, you're right.
453
00:32:19,051 --> 00:32:22,987
It'sjust that I worry
about you.
454
00:32:23,055 --> 00:32:25,455
You need to find somebody
that you can rely on.
455
00:32:25,524 --> 00:32:27,685
You know, a man
that you can trust.
456
00:32:27,759 --> 00:32:29,920
Someone like my Billy.
457
00:32:31,596 --> 00:32:32,893
Wait.
458
00:32:32,964 --> 00:32:34,192
What?
459
00:32:34,266 --> 00:32:36,234
I thought I heard something.
460
00:32:58,590 --> 00:33:01,320
Listen, I didn't want to tell
you this in front of everybody,
461
00:33:01,393 --> 00:33:03,020
but Bobby...
462
00:33:03,095 --> 00:33:04,392
Goodness!
463
00:33:04,463 --> 00:33:05,589
Golly.
464
00:33:05,664 --> 00:33:07,825
Gary.
465
00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:13,395
Whose do you think it is?
466
00:33:13,472 --> 00:33:14,837
I can't believe I touched it.
467
00:33:14,906 --> 00:33:16,931
Touched it?
I was laying on it!
468
00:33:17,008 --> 00:33:18,066
Laying?
469
00:33:18,143 --> 00:33:19,542
Maybe it's part of some animal.
470
00:33:19,611 --> 00:33:20,805
An animal?
With a thumb?
471
00:33:20,879 --> 00:33:22,005
And a Timex?
472
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,308
What were you doing
laying down?
473
00:33:23,382 --> 00:33:24,644
I think I'm gonna be sick!
474
00:33:24,716 --> 00:33:26,684
What were you doing laying down?
475
00:33:26,752 --> 00:33:27,878
We were getting some sun!
476
00:33:27,953 --> 00:33:29,147
I don't think it's real.
477
00:33:29,221 --> 00:33:30,950
The sun hasn't been out all day.
478
00:33:31,022 --> 00:33:33,684
Oh, believe me, it's real.
Look at the bone there,
479
00:33:33,759 --> 00:33:36,626
where the flesh has been
all chewed off.
480
00:33:36,695 --> 00:33:38,856
I'm definitely gonna be sick.
481
00:33:38,930 --> 00:33:40,295
Everyone, calm down!
482
00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:42,595
We are gonna march
right back into the house
483
00:33:42,667 --> 00:33:44,658
and call the proper authorities.
484
00:33:44,736 --> 00:33:47,330
And Phillip, please be sick
in the bushes,
485
00:33:47,406 --> 00:33:49,169
not in the house.
486
00:33:56,481 --> 00:34:00,315
Hello, operator.
I need the police at once.
487
00:34:00,385 --> 00:34:02,182
Yes, I'll hold the line.
488
00:34:02,254 --> 00:34:03,482
Hold the line?
489
00:34:03,555 --> 00:34:04,647
What do they mean,
hold the line?
490
00:34:04,723 --> 00:34:06,122
They mean wait.
491
00:34:06,191 --> 00:34:07,624
I knowwhat they mean!
492
00:34:07,692 --> 00:34:10,456
What are we doing waiting?
We need to get out ofhere!
493
00:34:10,529 --> 00:34:13,862
I'm not going out there with
some hungry thing on the loose.
494
00:34:13,932 --> 00:34:15,923
It's probably not
very hungry any more.
495
00:34:16,001 --> 00:34:17,662
Sorry.
496
00:34:17,736 --> 00:34:20,569
Besides, we're not going
anywhere with that bridge out.
497
00:34:20,639 --> 00:34:22,539
We could swim!
498
00:34:24,676 --> 00:34:25,802
Hello, police?
499
00:34:25,877 --> 00:34:27,674
This is Stanley Nelson,
at the old Johnson place.
500
00:34:27,746 --> 00:34:29,509
Something horrible has happened!
501
00:34:29,581 --> 00:34:31,344
Please come right away!
502
00:34:31,416 --> 00:34:35,910
Someone's been mutilated,
and I think... eaten.
503
00:34:43,028 --> 00:34:44,689
What's taking them so long?
504
00:34:44,763 --> 00:34:46,628
Honey, the bridge is out.
505
00:34:46,698 --> 00:34:49,565
They had to send
a beat cop on a bicycle.
506
00:34:49,634 --> 00:34:51,465
Don't answer it!
507
00:34:51,536 --> 00:34:54,562
Mary, relax!
It'sjust the police officer.
508
00:34:59,010 --> 00:35:00,409
I'm Officer Harding.
509
00:35:00,479 --> 00:35:02,071
Of course you are.
510
00:35:02,147 --> 00:35:03,614
I'm investigating
an emergency call
511
00:35:03,682 --> 00:35:05,582
received from this location.
512
00:35:05,650 --> 00:35:08,778
Which one of you
is Stanley Nelson?
513
00:35:08,854 --> 00:35:11,914
That's me, officer.
I'm the one who called.
514
00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:15,016
And this is my house.
515
00:35:15,093 --> 00:35:19,257
And it was...
William Luckinbill
516
00:35:19,331 --> 00:35:20,923
who discovered
the human remains?
517
00:35:20,999 --> 00:35:22,728
Actually, officer, that was me.
518
00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:24,769
And William... Billy.
519
00:35:24,836 --> 00:35:26,303
And you are?
520
00:35:26,371 --> 00:35:27,702
My name is Gary.
521
00:35:27,772 --> 00:35:30,104
The "R" is silent.
522
00:35:30,175 --> 00:35:33,144
Gay... eee?
523
00:35:33,211 --> 00:35:35,270
Jesus, it's a good thing
she's pretty.
524
00:35:35,347 --> 00:35:38,180
It's Gary.
Gary LaTourneaux.
525
00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:39,808
I found the arm.
526
00:35:39,885 --> 00:35:42,547
And I can showyou exactly
where it is if you'd like.
527
00:35:42,621 --> 00:35:44,589
Yes, that's a good idea.
528
00:35:44,656 --> 00:35:46,248
The rest of you stay here.
529
00:35:46,324 --> 00:35:48,884
I'll need to take statements
from all of you when I return.
530
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,919
Now showme this...
body part of yours.
531
00:35:56,268 --> 00:35:58,463
Oh, brother.
532
00:35:58,537 --> 00:36:02,598
Officer Hard-on
is in for quite a show.
533
00:36:02,674 --> 00:36:04,301
Randall, hush!
534
00:36:04,376 --> 00:36:06,003
How can you say such a thing
about your boyfriend
535
00:36:06,077 --> 00:36:08,136
at a time like this?
536
00:36:08,213 --> 00:36:10,181
I'm sure he'sjust
helping the nice lawman
537
00:36:10,248 --> 00:36:12,443
with his investigation.
538
00:37:09,708 --> 00:37:12,939
Oh, Jesus!
Not again.
539
00:37:13,011 --> 00:37:15,445
You were right.
That one is a screamer.
540
00:37:15,513 --> 00:37:19,813
That was no scream of passion.
I think Gary's in trouble!
541
00:37:19,884 --> 00:37:21,715
Well, come on!
542
00:37:27,459 --> 00:37:29,290
I can't see anything.
543
00:37:29,361 --> 00:37:31,261
Well, they can't have
just disappeared.
544
00:37:31,329 --> 00:37:33,695
Off playing detective somewhere,
no doubt.
545
00:37:33,765 --> 00:37:35,494
You're looking
the wrong way.
546
00:37:35,567 --> 00:37:37,398
Billy, where did you see
that severed arm?
547
00:37:37,469 --> 00:37:38,697
Oh, God.
548
00:37:38,770 --> 00:37:40,294
It was overthere.
549
00:37:40,372 --> 00:37:44,331
Wait...
Is that them in the water?
550
00:37:44,409 --> 00:37:45,842
That doesn't look like Gary.
551
00:37:45,910 --> 00:37:47,275
Or Officer Harding.
552
00:37:47,345 --> 00:37:49,176
I don't think
that's them at all!
553
00:37:49,247 --> 00:37:52,216
The question is, who is it?
554
00:37:53,218 --> 00:37:55,311
- Are those...?
- It can't be!
555
00:37:55,387 --> 00:37:56,581
Zombies?
556
00:37:56,655 --> 00:37:57,781
Zombies?!
557
00:37:57,856 --> 00:38:00,154
Flesh-eating creatures
ofthe night?
558
00:38:00,225 --> 00:38:02,921
Quiet!
They haven't seen us yet.
559
00:38:16,875 --> 00:38:19,400
Oh, they look awfully hungry.
560
00:38:19,477 --> 00:38:22,708
They must be responsible
forthat chewed-up arm we found.
561
00:38:22,781 --> 00:38:25,944
Are we gonna stand around here
with our dicks up our asses?
562
00:38:26,017 --> 00:38:28,349
Let's get the hell out ofhere!
563
00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:29,478
Careful!
564
00:38:29,554 --> 00:38:31,112
We don't want to catch
their attention!
565
00:38:33,091 --> 00:38:34,422
Christ!
566
00:38:34,492 --> 00:38:36,221
Nice going, Martha Graham.
567
00:38:36,294 --> 00:38:38,194
Sorry!
568
00:38:40,765 --> 00:38:42,460
Oh, my god!
They're coming right for us!
569
00:38:42,534 --> 00:38:44,092
Run!
570
00:38:44,169 --> 00:38:45,898
Hold on a second!
571
00:38:45,970 --> 00:38:48,837
I think those zombies
are homosexual!
572
00:38:48,907 --> 00:38:49,874
What makes you say that?
573
00:38:49,941 --> 00:38:51,431
Look!
574
00:39:15,900 --> 00:39:18,368
Please stop screaming!
575
00:39:18,436 --> 00:39:20,961
Well, they do have some
pretty good moves.
576
00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:22,734
But gay zombies?
577
00:39:22,807 --> 00:39:25,469
Mary, zombie or not,
578
00:39:25,543 --> 00:39:27,568
I knowa show-tune-lovin'
friend of Dorothy
579
00:39:27,645 --> 00:39:28,839
when I see one.
580
00:39:28,913 --> 00:39:30,039
Lovely!
581
00:39:30,115 --> 00:39:32,811
So they can do our hair
before they eat our brains!
582
00:39:32,884 --> 00:39:34,647
Could we please go?
583
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:35,981
Inside, quick!
584
00:39:36,054 --> 00:39:37,783
Lt'll be safe in here!
585
00:40:14,025 --> 00:40:17,483
Hey...
How's it going?
586
00:40:22,534 --> 00:40:25,367
You dropped your lighter.
587
00:40:25,436 --> 00:40:28,098
Want me to get it for you?
588
00:40:31,042 --> 00:40:33,772
Oh, OK.
589
00:40:45,523 --> 00:40:46,649
Whoops.
590
00:40:46,724 --> 00:40:48,988
Nowyou dropped...
591
00:40:49,060 --> 00:40:51,187
Ewww!
592
00:40:56,067 --> 00:40:57,728
Oh, my god!
They got Phillip!
593
00:40:57,802 --> 00:40:59,099
Nooooo!
594
00:40:59,170 --> 00:41:01,070
Turn away, honey.
Don't look.
595
00:41:02,273 --> 00:41:06,073
Wait a second.
He's spitting Phillip out.
596
00:41:06,144 --> 00:41:07,634
They don't like
the taste ofhim!
597
00:41:07,712 --> 00:41:09,111
Finicky zombies.
598
00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:11,080
You're right -
they are gay.
599
00:41:11,149 --> 00:41:13,208
It's got to be
that Butch 22 cologne.
600
00:41:13,284 --> 00:41:15,377
No self-respecting homo
would be caught dead
601
00:41:15,453 --> 00:41:16,920
anywhere near it!
602
00:41:16,988 --> 00:41:18,148
Or undead, apparently.
603
00:41:18,223 --> 00:41:19,485
We've gotta get
Phillip out ofthere!
604
00:41:19,557 --> 00:41:21,024
Honey, it's too late for him!
605
00:41:21,092 --> 00:41:23,060
And we can't go back out there!
What ifit's a trick?
606
00:41:23,127 --> 00:41:24,719
He'd do the same for any of us!
607
00:41:24,796 --> 00:41:25,990
Even Randall?
608
00:41:26,064 --> 00:41:27,861
Yes, even Randall!
I'm going out there
609
00:41:27,932 --> 00:41:29,923
before another one ofthose
things tries to bite him!
610
00:41:39,777 --> 00:41:41,005
C'mon, Phillip.
611
00:41:41,079 --> 00:41:42,205
These zombies are gonna
have to find
612
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,941
someone else
to chew on!
613
00:41:47,619 --> 00:41:49,519
Somebody, help me out here!
614
00:41:49,587 --> 00:41:51,919
This walking corpse
is staining my woodwork!
615
00:41:51,990 --> 00:41:53,480
I don't understand!
616
00:41:53,558 --> 00:41:55,856
When that zombie bit me,
I thought I was a goner!
617
00:41:55,927 --> 00:41:57,155
We think it's Bobby's
cologne.
618
00:41:57,228 --> 00:41:59,059
The zombies must be
allergic to Butch 22!
619
00:41:59,130 --> 00:42:01,189
Wait a second!
620
00:42:01,266 --> 00:42:04,167
Phillip, open your
birthday present from me.
621
00:42:06,337 --> 00:42:08,965
It's a Butch 22 gift pack!
622
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,770
It was ajoke!
A gag gift!
623
00:42:11,843 --> 00:42:13,435
Just open it already!
624
00:42:13,511 --> 00:42:15,877
And hurry!
They're getting in!
625
00:42:30,595 --> 00:42:31,562
Jesus, Mary.
626
00:42:31,629 --> 00:42:33,096
You think someone's
trying to tell you something?
627
00:42:33,164 --> 00:42:35,291
It's the Tiffany bag!
628
00:42:39,704 --> 00:42:41,171
He's in!
629
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:42,900
Hurry!
Somebody douse him!
630
00:42:52,984 --> 00:42:55,111
Wow, it really works!
631
00:42:55,186 --> 00:42:58,053
And I just had
this carpet steamed!
632
00:42:58,122 --> 00:43:00,386
This door's not gonna hold.
We need to get out ofhere!
633
00:43:00,458 --> 00:43:02,619
What are we gonna do?
Splash our way out?
634
00:43:02,694 --> 00:43:04,753
There are too many ofthem!
635
00:43:04,829 --> 00:43:07,491
Hold on.
I have an idea!
636
00:43:10,068 --> 00:43:12,127
That's quite a collection.
637
00:43:12,203 --> 00:43:15,195
I've never seen so many
all together like that.
638
00:43:15,273 --> 00:43:16,934
Joseph, what are these for?
639
00:43:17,008 --> 00:43:18,805
Well, I thought we could
get to know each other
640
00:43:18,876 --> 00:43:20,935
by playing a game
of squirt tag this weekend.
641
00:43:21,012 --> 00:43:23,207
Is that anything
like slap and tickle?
642
00:43:23,281 --> 00:43:26,114
Nothing breaks the ice
like water sports!
643
00:43:26,184 --> 00:43:28,482
No truer words were ever spoken.
644
00:43:28,553 --> 00:43:30,145
Joseph, good thinking!
645
00:43:30,221 --> 00:43:32,280
Phillip, bring those bottles
of Butch over here.
646
00:43:32,357 --> 00:43:36,657
Those gay zombies have messed
with the wrong queens!
647
00:43:56,214 --> 00:43:58,375
Joseph, where did you get all
these squirt guns?
648
00:43:58,449 --> 00:44:00,849
Toy stores
and hobby shops, mostly.
649
00:44:00,918 --> 00:44:06,618
But this one... I had to
special order from an ad
650
00:44:06,691 --> 00:44:09,251
in the back of Amazing Tales,
number twenty-two.
651
00:44:09,327 --> 00:44:10,794
It's so big!
652
00:44:10,862 --> 00:44:14,764
It's my pride andjoy.
The Galaxy Gusher 4000!
653
00:44:14,832 --> 00:44:17,198
It has twin hydraulic
loading chambers
654
00:44:17,268 --> 00:44:20,203
and automatic reverse
pumping action!
655
00:44:20,271 --> 00:44:23,206
Yeah, but will it clean
the sheets afterwards?
656
00:44:23,274 --> 00:44:24,673
Okay, here's the plan!
657
00:44:24,742 --> 00:44:26,175
First, we have to report Gary
658
00:44:26,244 --> 00:44:28,212
and Officer Harding's
disappearance.
659
00:44:28,279 --> 00:44:29,143
Then...
660
00:44:29,213 --> 00:44:31,010
The phone's dead.
661
00:44:31,949 --> 00:44:34,076
It looks like the line's down.
662
00:44:34,152 --> 00:44:36,382
Well, one of us is going
to have to go out there
663
00:44:36,454 --> 00:44:38,046
and hook that
line back up.
664
00:44:38,122 --> 00:44:40,181
You're kidding, right?
665
00:44:40,258 --> 00:44:42,624
There are flesh-eating
monsters out there!
666
00:44:42,693 --> 00:44:44,627
They're not at
the front door any more.
667
00:44:44,695 --> 00:44:46,788
It looks like they've
moved down the beach.
668
00:44:46,864 --> 00:44:49,094
It could be
another zombie trick.
669
00:44:49,167 --> 00:44:51,431
They mightjust be
waiting to attack.
670
00:44:51,502 --> 00:44:53,470
Even with the Butch 22,
we'll never outrun all those
671
00:44:53,538 --> 00:44:56,439
zombies all the way into town!
We've got to contact the
672
00:44:56,507 --> 00:44:59,237
authorities so they're waiting
on the other side of the bridge.
673
00:44:59,310 --> 00:45:00,709
Well don't look at me.
674
00:45:00,778 --> 00:45:03,076
I'm not risking
my hide out there.
675
00:45:03,147 --> 00:45:04,705
No volunteers?
676
00:45:04,782 --> 00:45:07,376
Then we're gonna
have to drawfor it.
677
00:45:08,352 --> 00:45:10,286
So, we're all agreed then.
678
00:45:10,354 --> 00:45:13,653
The person who picks
the flamingo has to go outside
679
00:45:13,724 --> 00:45:15,885
and fix the phone line.
680
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,225
Nowwho wants to go first?
681
00:45:19,297 --> 00:45:21,094
Here goes nothing.
682
00:45:34,278 --> 00:45:36,007
It's you and me, old friend.
683
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,980
You wanna go first?
684
00:45:38,049 --> 00:45:41,576
Aw, hell... why not?
685
00:45:45,590 --> 00:45:47,148
Naturally.
686
00:45:47,225 --> 00:45:49,955
The pretty one
has to go.
687
00:45:51,329 --> 00:45:53,263
That zombie who bit Phillip
must've pulled down
688
00:45:53,331 --> 00:45:54,593
the phone line when he died!
689
00:45:54,665 --> 00:45:56,565
You think, Nancy Drew.
690
00:45:56,634 --> 00:45:59,000
All you need to do is
take the line from his hand
691
00:45:59,070 --> 00:46:01,903
and hook it back up to the
transformer box on the house.
692
00:46:01,973 --> 00:46:03,964
I got it.
693
00:46:04,041 --> 00:46:06,100
Nowgive me that gun,
would you?
694
00:46:08,412 --> 00:46:10,380
Be careful out there, Randall.
695
00:46:12,583 --> 00:46:14,676
Oh cripes,
I'm hooking up a phone line,
696
00:46:14,752 --> 00:46:16,845
not going to the moon.
697
00:47:05,536 --> 00:47:07,163
Screwthis.
698
00:47:07,238 --> 00:47:09,866
Ifl'm gonna be the hero,
I need a smoke.
699
00:47:36,067 --> 00:47:39,730
Well, aren't you ten pounds
of ugly in a five-pound sack?
700
00:48:20,444 --> 00:48:22,412
Oh, poor Randall!
701
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:27,042
His insatiable desire
for cigarettes did him in!
702
00:48:27,118 --> 00:48:29,382
I guess even smoking
can kill you!
703
00:48:29,453 --> 00:48:31,284
He was the sweetest,
704
00:48:31,355 --> 00:48:34,153
most considerate man
I've ever known!
705
00:48:34,225 --> 00:48:37,626
And nowhe's... dead!
706
00:48:37,695 --> 00:48:39,060
And we're next!
707
00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:41,928
Forget the phone line,
we've gotta make a run for it!
708
00:48:41,999 --> 00:48:43,523
Give me that squirt gun!
709
00:48:43,601 --> 00:48:44,727
No!
710
00:48:44,802 --> 00:48:46,167
Billy, honey, wait!
711
00:48:46,237 --> 00:48:47,534
Don't go out there half-cocked!
712
00:48:47,605 --> 00:48:49,072
We have to stick to the plan!
713
00:49:05,890 --> 00:49:08,017
Fuck you,
you fucking gay zombies!
714
00:49:15,733 --> 00:49:17,428
Thought you were
gonna get me, did ya?
715
00:50:01,612 --> 00:50:02,909
Billy!
No!
716
00:50:14,959 --> 00:50:18,451
Nowwe are notjust gonna
stand around and let those
717
00:50:18,529 --> 00:50:21,828
repulsive creatures
pick us off one by one!
718
00:50:21,899 --> 00:50:23,025
What can we do?
719
00:50:23,100 --> 00:50:25,261
They've surrounded the house!
There are too many ofthem!
720
00:50:25,336 --> 00:50:27,896
Bring me
that pistol over there.
721
00:50:28,639 --> 00:50:30,971
I'm going to distract them while
you run for the foot bridge.
722
00:50:31,041 --> 00:50:32,235
Stan!
No!!
723
00:50:32,309 --> 00:50:34,971
Child, don't argue with me!
It's the only way.
724
00:50:35,045 --> 00:50:38,344
Nowget ready to hike up your
skirts and make a run for it!
725
00:50:38,416 --> 00:50:40,350
Stan, please be careful.
726
00:50:40,418 --> 00:50:43,945
I don't knowwhat I'd do
ifl lost you, too!
727
00:50:44,021 --> 00:50:47,889
Honey, it's gonna take more
than a fewpeckish zombies
728
00:50:47,958 --> 00:50:50,017
to bring this old girl down.
729
00:50:50,094 --> 00:50:52,858
Don't you worry about a thing.
730
00:50:52,930 --> 00:50:55,660
There was something you were
trying to tell me earlier.
731
00:50:55,733 --> 00:50:59,931
Something about Bobby.
What was it?
732
00:51:00,004 --> 00:51:02,871
Honey, Bobby's no good.
733
00:51:02,940 --> 00:51:04,407
Promise me that if we
get out of this,
734
00:51:04,475 --> 00:51:05,772
you're gonna
break up with him.
735
00:51:05,843 --> 00:51:07,003
But why?
736
00:51:07,077 --> 00:51:08,806
What is it
you're not telling me?
737
00:51:08,879 --> 00:51:13,782
Phillip, your boyfriend
is a rest stop Betty!
738
00:51:13,851 --> 00:51:15,250
What?
739
00:51:15,319 --> 00:51:18,379
He cruises public rest areas
looking for anonymous sex.
740
00:51:18,456 --> 00:51:20,583
No telling what kind of filth
he's bringing home to you!
741
00:51:20,658 --> 00:51:22,182
That is a pack of lies!
742
00:51:22,259 --> 00:51:24,454
Bobby would never do
such a thing!
743
00:51:24,528 --> 00:51:26,519
Where did you hear
this rubbish?
744
00:51:26,597 --> 00:51:28,326
Mary, don't ask!
745
00:51:28,399 --> 00:51:31,232
Stan, please.
746
00:51:31,302 --> 00:51:36,467
I may never see you again.
I have to know.
747
00:51:37,775 --> 00:51:40,039
Well, I'm ashamed to admit it,
748
00:51:40,110 --> 00:51:42,408
but I have been known to
frequent such rest stops
749
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,881
ofill repute myself,
from time to time.
750
00:51:45,950 --> 00:51:49,716
Oh, hush now, child.
We're all adults here.
751
00:51:51,322 --> 00:51:53,552
Nowwait a minute!
752
00:51:53,624 --> 00:51:56,684
I knewl recognized
those zombies!
753
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:59,320
They're all men who cruise
the Exit 5 Rest Stop!
754
00:51:59,396 --> 00:52:00,829
Exit 5?
755
00:52:00,898 --> 00:52:02,798
That's right next door
to the chemical plant!
756
00:52:02,867 --> 00:52:04,232
You don't think...?
757
00:52:04,301 --> 00:52:06,132
They must've been bitten
by the tainted mosquitoes
758
00:52:06,203 --> 00:52:09,104
in the swamp between the plant
and the rest stop!
759
00:52:09,173 --> 00:52:11,437
And then the mosquito bites
gave them the West End Virus!
760
00:52:11,509 --> 00:52:14,535
The virus kills them and then
brings them back to life
761
00:52:14,612 --> 00:52:17,274
as homosexual
flesh-eating monsters!
762
00:52:17,348 --> 00:52:19,612
And nowthey're radioactive?
763
00:52:19,683 --> 00:52:21,708
No, honey.
They'rejust zombies.
764
00:52:21,785 --> 00:52:24,083
Well I'm ready to give those
zombies the what for!
765
00:52:27,892 --> 00:52:29,621
I'll cover you.
766
00:52:29,693 --> 00:52:31,524
Run up to the bridge
and get help.
767
00:52:33,330 --> 00:52:35,298
Take that, you filthy zombie!
768
00:52:43,641 --> 00:52:44,733
Joseph, I'll take this one.
769
00:52:44,808 --> 00:52:45,740
You go help Phillip.
770
00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:47,140
- But...
- Go!
771
00:52:48,112 --> 00:52:50,842
Phillip! Phillip!
772
00:52:52,249 --> 00:52:53,841
You want some ofthis, too?
773
00:52:53,918 --> 00:52:56,182
You want...
Wait a minute!
774
00:52:56,253 --> 00:53:00,417
You were my high school
science teacher - Mr. Byron!
775
00:53:00,491 --> 00:53:02,459
I knewyou were
cruising me in chem lab!
776
00:53:04,528 --> 00:53:07,827
Class dismissed... teach.
777
00:53:24,815 --> 00:53:26,180
I'm empty!
778
00:53:39,129 --> 00:53:40,426
Bobby?
779
00:53:47,004 --> 00:53:48,938
This is my house!
780
00:53:49,006 --> 00:53:51,804
Nowyou just turn around
and march back out
781
00:53:51,875 --> 00:53:53,934
the way you came in!
782
00:54:04,455 --> 00:54:06,753
Don't make me use this!
783
00:54:10,594 --> 00:54:13,620
Bobby, it is you!
784
00:54:13,697 --> 00:54:15,995
Oh, I just knewyou'd come!
785
00:54:16,066 --> 00:54:17,829
What happened to your face?
786
00:54:17,901 --> 00:54:19,459
You look like... -
787
00:54:19,536 --> 00:54:21,367
Oh, god, no!
788
00:54:21,438 --> 00:54:22,598
NOOOOO!
789
00:54:22,673 --> 00:54:24,607
Phillip!
790
00:54:30,314 --> 00:54:33,215
Suck on this, undead scum!
791
00:54:48,532 --> 00:54:51,262
Make a wish,
you putrid pole smoker!
792
00:54:58,809 --> 00:55:00,709
Stan was right about you!
793
00:55:00,778 --> 00:55:04,714
You sucked anonymous cock
at that rest stop
794
00:55:04,782 --> 00:55:07,615
and nowyou're a zombie!
795
00:55:07,685 --> 00:55:10,677
Oh, Bobby,
howcould you?
796
00:55:10,754 --> 00:55:14,087
You told me you loved me!
And I believed you!
797
00:55:14,158 --> 00:55:16,023
I'm a fool!
798
00:55:16,093 --> 00:55:20,291
I'm a stupid,
lovesick little girl!
799
00:55:20,364 --> 00:55:25,495
You are a sad and pathetic man,
Bobby Prentice.
800
00:55:25,569 --> 00:55:27,833
You are a zombie,
and you don't want to be,
801
00:55:27,905 --> 00:55:30,874
and there is nothing
you can do to change it.
802
00:55:38,682 --> 00:55:43,813
Ifl'm going down,
I'm going down singing!
803
00:55:53,030 --> 00:55:54,327
NOOOO!
804
00:55:54,398 --> 00:55:56,696
Back off, pizza face!
805
00:56:05,476 --> 00:56:07,068
I don't understand!
806
00:56:07,144 --> 00:56:09,374
That should've been enough
Butch to stop ten zombies!
807
00:56:09,446 --> 00:56:12,813
Oh, no!
Bobby wears Butch 22.
808
00:56:12,883 --> 00:56:14,942
He must have built up
an immunity to it!
809
00:56:15,018 --> 00:56:16,246
Aw, nuts!
810
00:56:28,665 --> 00:56:30,599
What happened?
Why didn't he eat us?
811
00:56:30,667 --> 00:56:33,636
I don't know.
Hejust stopped short, suddenly.
812
00:56:33,704 --> 00:56:35,968
Nowit looks like
he's listening to something.
813
00:56:36,039 --> 00:56:39,008
Wait, I hear something too.
814
00:56:39,076 --> 00:56:43,706
Why it's... it's...
815
00:56:46,250 --> 00:56:51,244
"Zing Went the Strings
of my Heart"
816
00:57:13,043 --> 00:57:15,204
I don't believe it!
817
00:57:15,279 --> 00:57:17,338
Bobby?
Are you okay?
818
00:57:17,414 --> 00:57:19,041
It's not possible!
819
00:57:19,116 --> 00:57:21,676
I think he's turning back
into the old Bobby!
820
00:57:21,752 --> 00:57:24,846
The old handsome Bobby!
821
00:57:24,922 --> 00:57:26,822
Gosh, that's great.
822
00:57:26,890 --> 00:57:27,982
And look!
823
00:57:28,058 --> 00:57:30,925
All the other zombies
are changing back to normal!
824
00:57:42,573 --> 00:57:45,542
Man, I gotta
quit smoking menthols!
825
00:57:50,013 --> 00:57:52,573
Hey, cupcake.
826
00:57:52,649 --> 00:57:54,742
Bobby, is it really you?
827
00:57:54,818 --> 00:57:56,911
I thought you were
gone for good!
828
00:57:56,987 --> 00:57:59,387
What are you talking about?
I always come back, don't I?
829
00:57:59,456 --> 00:58:02,084
No, I mean...
There were these zombies.
830
00:58:02,159 --> 00:58:03,592
And yourface was...
831
00:58:03,660 --> 00:58:05,594
What's with Poindexter
overthere?
832
00:58:05,662 --> 00:58:08,153
Bobby, be serious.
That's Joseph.
833
00:58:08,232 --> 00:58:09,324
He helped save...
834
00:58:09,399 --> 00:58:12,232
What are you, his mother?
I don't need his life story.
835
00:58:12,302 --> 00:58:15,430
All right.
It's not important.
836
00:58:23,513 --> 00:58:26,812
Bobby, we need to talk...
837
00:58:26,884 --> 00:58:29,444
Talk is cheap, baby.
838
00:58:29,519 --> 00:58:31,282
I got you a birthday present.
839
00:58:31,355 --> 00:58:33,482
Bobby, I told you
I didn't need a present.
840
00:58:33,557 --> 00:58:34,546
Trust me.
841
00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:37,219
This is one present
you do need.
842
00:58:51,875 --> 00:58:53,274
Oh, Joseph!
843
00:58:53,343 --> 00:58:55,004
You're okay!
844
00:58:55,078 --> 00:58:56,568
I don't knowhow.
845
00:58:56,647 --> 00:58:59,207
One minute those zombies
were ready to tear us apart,
846
00:58:59,283 --> 00:59:01,945
the next they were regular
homosexuals again.
847
00:59:02,019 --> 00:59:04,681
They were no match
for my secret weapon.
848
00:59:04,755 --> 00:59:06,052
What secret weapon?
849
00:59:06,123 --> 00:59:09,786
Honey, those zombies were
strong, but no homosexual -
850
00:59:09,860 --> 00:59:14,126
not even a flesh-eating,
walking dead homosexual -
851
00:59:14,197 --> 00:59:16,961
can resist Judy Garland.
852
00:59:17,034 --> 00:59:18,661
Oh.
853
00:59:18,735 --> 00:59:20,726
No need to thank me, child.
854
00:59:20,804 --> 00:59:23,238
I'm sorry, Stan.
It'sjust...
855
00:59:23,307 --> 00:59:25,172
Did we lose Phillip, honey?
856
00:59:25,242 --> 00:59:26,766
Oh no, nothing like that.
857
00:59:26,843 --> 00:59:28,936
Bobby was there.
858
00:59:29,012 --> 00:59:31,105
Oh no!
And was he...?
859
00:59:31,181 --> 00:59:32,113
Yep.
860
00:59:32,182 --> 00:59:33,376
- And he tried to...?
- Uh huh.
861
00:59:33,450 --> 00:59:34,849
- But the music?
- Yeah.
862
00:59:34,918 --> 00:59:36,613
And nowthey're...?
863
00:59:36,687 --> 00:59:38,245
You got it.
864
00:59:38,322 --> 00:59:40,790
Oh, Joseph.
I'm sorry.
865
00:59:42,192 --> 00:59:47,596
Of all the beaches on all the
pink lagoons in all the world,
866
00:59:47,664 --> 00:59:51,122
he lurches onto ours.
867
00:59:51,201 --> 00:59:54,728
Listen, honey, nobody wants
them together less than me.
868
00:59:54,805 --> 00:59:56,796
That Bobby's a real louse.
869
00:59:56,873 --> 00:59:59,273
But Phillip's in love,
and to him
870
00:59:59,343 --> 01:00:02,904
that rest-stop trolling,
ex-zombie boyfriend ofhis
871
01:00:02,980 --> 01:00:06,074
might as well be Rock Hudson.
872
01:00:06,149 --> 01:00:07,673
But he's so wrong for him!
873
01:00:07,751 --> 01:00:10,481
Sure, you and I both knowthat.
874
01:00:10,554 --> 01:00:12,988
But Phillip's got to
figure that out for himself.
875
01:00:13,056 --> 01:00:14,489
Nowwhy don't you
come inside
876
01:00:14,558 --> 01:00:16,583
and I'll fix you
some chocolate milk?
877
01:00:16,660 --> 01:00:18,252
No, thanks.
878
01:00:18,328 --> 01:00:20,626
I think I'mjust
gonna pack up and go.
879
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:33,637
Surprise!
What do you think?
880
01:00:33,710 --> 01:00:36,235
It's... a picture of you.
881
01:00:36,313 --> 01:00:38,042
Yeah.
882
01:00:38,115 --> 01:00:40,811
The frame set me back
a fewbucks,
883
01:00:40,884 --> 01:00:43,182
but I've got a bunch ofthose
snapshots lying around.
884
01:00:43,253 --> 01:00:45,346
Nowyou can quit your
bellyaching about howyou
885
01:00:45,422 --> 01:00:47,856
never get to see me, cookie.
886
01:00:47,924 --> 01:00:50,552
Bobby, it's a lovely photograph.
887
01:00:50,627 --> 01:00:53,221
Really, it is.
888
01:00:53,296 --> 01:00:57,164
But I just think...
maybe we should...
889
01:00:57,234 --> 01:01:01,330
Bobby... l'm breaking up
with you.
890
01:01:01,405 --> 01:01:02,895
Yeah, right.
891
01:01:02,973 --> 01:01:05,271
Nowhow's about
a birthday kiss?
892
01:01:05,342 --> 01:01:08,209
Bobby, I'm serious.
893
01:01:08,278 --> 01:01:11,247
It'sjust not working out
between us.
894
01:01:14,951 --> 01:01:18,614
You see, Bobby...
I need someone brave.
895
01:01:18,688 --> 01:01:20,280
Someone loyal.
896
01:01:20,357 --> 01:01:24,157
Someone who treats me the way
I deserve to be treated.
897
01:01:24,227 --> 01:01:26,127
Not a Rest Stop Bonnie.
898
01:01:26,196 --> 01:01:27,458
Betty.
899
01:01:27,531 --> 01:01:30,056
Right... Betty.
900
01:01:30,133 --> 01:01:34,194
So you're breaking up with me?
901
01:01:36,173 --> 01:01:38,641
Well ain't that a kick
in the culottes.
902
01:01:38,708 --> 01:01:41,438
I think youjust need to be
on your own, Bobby.
903
01:01:41,511 --> 01:01:43,069
That way you can spend
all the time you want
904
01:01:43,146 --> 01:01:46,172
cruising for anonymous sex,
without worrying about the old
905
01:01:46,249 --> 01:01:48,376
ball and chain back home.
906
01:01:48,452 --> 01:01:50,818
But I want you to know
we can still be friends.
907
01:01:50,887 --> 01:01:54,823
You can come to me
wheneveryou need to talk.
908
01:01:54,891 --> 01:01:58,122
I'll be a sympathetic ear,
a shoulder to cry on,
909
01:01:58,195 --> 01:02:01,164
orjust someone
to shoot the breeze with.
910
01:02:01,231 --> 01:02:03,096
What I'm trying to say is,
just because
911
01:02:03,166 --> 01:02:06,863
we're breaking up doesn't mean
I'm ditching you.
912
01:02:06,937 --> 01:02:08,905
Bobby?
913
01:02:10,507 --> 01:02:11,974
Joseph!
914
01:02:13,743 --> 01:02:15,938
Joseph, hang on!
915
01:02:16,012 --> 01:02:19,038
I didn't get a chance
to thank you.
916
01:02:19,116 --> 01:02:21,550
Thank me?
For what?
917
01:02:21,618 --> 01:02:24,246
What you did back there
was so brave.
918
01:02:24,321 --> 01:02:26,346
You saved my life.
919
01:02:27,757 --> 01:02:31,284
Well, I wasn't gonna let you
get eaten by a zombie.
920
01:02:31,761 --> 01:02:34,787
Wait, you dropped this!
921
01:02:34,865 --> 01:02:37,459
I won't be needing it any more.
922
01:02:37,534 --> 01:02:39,695
Besides, it's broken.
923
01:02:39,769 --> 01:02:41,498
It's nothing a little
rubber cement
924
01:02:41,571 --> 01:02:43,562
and electrician's tape
won't fix.
925
01:02:45,308 --> 01:02:47,606
I guess.
926
01:02:47,677 --> 01:02:51,636
Plus I hear nothing breaks
the ice like water sports!
927
01:02:56,987 --> 01:02:58,477
But what about Bobby?
928
01:02:58,555 --> 01:03:01,046
Oh, Bobby will be fine.
929
01:03:01,124 --> 01:03:04,025
Nowhowabout that game
of squirt tag?
930
01:03:04,094 --> 01:03:05,527
You're on, Phillip.
931
01:03:05,595 --> 01:03:07,119
You're on.
932
01:03:10,901 --> 01:03:14,428
And that's howl got together
with Joseph.
933
01:03:14,504 --> 01:03:17,302
Sure, we were a little battered,
a little shaken -
934
01:03:17,374 --> 01:03:19,899
three of my friends
were eaten by zombies -
935
01:03:19,976 --> 01:03:22,410
But Joseph and I found love!
936
01:03:22,479 --> 01:03:27,314
And in the end, isn't that
what every homosexual wants?
937
01:03:34,257 --> 01:03:35,155
Thisjust in:
938
01:03:35,225 --> 01:03:36,692
Medical authorities have
announced that the
939
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:40,059
West End Virus is no longer
a public health threat.
940
01:03:40,130 --> 01:03:42,155
Those suffering from the
mysterious ailment have
941
01:03:42,232 --> 01:03:45,167
all shown remarkable recovery
within the past fewhours,
942
01:03:45,235 --> 01:03:46,998
leading town scientists
to believe that it was
943
01:03:47,070 --> 01:03:49,766
no more life-threatening
than the common cold.
944
01:03:49,839 --> 01:03:52,399
Meanwhile, the search
is still on for a handful
945
01:03:52,475 --> 01:03:54,272
oflocal men who have
disappeared this week
946
01:03:54,344 --> 01:03:56,812
under suspicious circumstances.
947
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:58,677
Police are refusing to
speculate on the possibility
948
01:03:58,748 --> 01:04:01,615
of a connection between the
virus and the disappearances.
949
01:04:01,685 --> 01:04:03,550
We nowreturn you
to ourJudy Garland
950
01:04:03,620 --> 01:04:06,555
weekend marathon,
currently in progress.
951
01:04:24,841 --> 01:04:27,571
Showtunes!
Ugh!
952
01:04:27,644 --> 01:04:30,112
Lfl hear one
more showtune...
953
01:04:40,557 --> 01:04:43,617
I'm gonna eat somebody!
63323
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
