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1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:03,879
This is Taylor's
last performance
2
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,130
before she graduates,
and we're gonna be
3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,798
so far in the back
that I can't document it.
4
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:08,675
Swayze had his shirt off.
What was I supposed to do?
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,093
[ Groans ]
6
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,428
[ Door closes ]
7
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:13,388
See? The doors are closed!
We're late!
8
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,266
Taylor goes on at 6:15.
It's 6:13.
9
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,643
I gave us a two‐minute buffer
10
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,311
because you pee so often
these days.
11
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,104
[ Piano plays classical music ]
12
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,065
[ Whispering ]
Where are you going?
13
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,483
To our seats.
14
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,736
Sorry. We're late.
It's her fault.
15
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,488
Whenever "Point Break" is on,
she just has to finish it.
16
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:34,368
♪♪
17
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,661
Katie, what are you doing?
18
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:36,912
These are reserved
for the senator.
19
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,997
There's no senator.
I snuck in here
20
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,457
and taped them off
when I picked up Anna‐Kat.
21
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,709
But everyone else
waited in line.
Are you kidding?
22
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,586
These spoiled ding‐a‐lings had
their nannies do it for them.
23
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,213
You can't just
break the rules like this.
24
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,173
Sure, you can. See?
We're doing it.
25
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,508
You just have to
become immune
26
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,926
to people
staring daggers at you.
27
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,552
This is how you handle it.
28
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,720
Hey, girl!
29
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,763
[ Music ends ]
30
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,014
[ Applause ]
31
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:03,272
I'm not a big classical music
fan, but that seemed fine.
32
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:06,775
Okay, our next performer is ‐‐
[ Fart sounds ]
33
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,443
[ Laughter ]
34
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,445
Very funny. [ Chuckles ]
That was not me.
35
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,448
I have exquisite control.
[ Fart sounds ]
36
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,741
[ Laughter ]
[ Feedback whines ]
37
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,784
Young man over P. A. system:
Seniors rule!
38
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,453
[ Laughter ]
39
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,915
Westport Unified has
a tradition of senior pranks,
40
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,042
but this time,
you've gone too far, mister.
41
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:27,713
You fart me?
Well, I fart you!
42
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:30,549
From now on, there will be
no more senior pranks
43
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,801
for the rest of the year,
or face the consequences!
44
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,553
[ Audience murmurs ]
45
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,762
[ Fart sounds ]
46
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,598
[ Laughter ]
47
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,766
[ Fart sounds ]
48
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,728
[ Laughter ]
49
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,021
[ Fart sounds continue ]
50
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,230
[ Laughter continues ]
51
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,065
[ Fart sounds ]
[ Laughter ]
52
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:52,321
♪♪
53
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,740
I can't believe Principal Ablin
called off senior prank.
54
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,867
I know, and the one I did
my last senior year
55
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,368
was so much fun.
56
00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,037
You guys should just
do one anyway.
57
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,372
Taylor, don't listen
to your mother.
She's a bad influence.
58
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,042
My favorite memories
all involve breaking the rules.
59
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:07,252
Like in high school,
my friend Missy Andrews
60
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,087
stole a key
to the concession stand,
61
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,672
and we would skip class,
sneak in,
62
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,049
and grill hamburgers.
63
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,635
That's truancy, breaking
and entering, stealing ‐‐
64
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,803
No! It was the best.
65
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:17,971
It's also where I learned
66
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,098
that I was definitely
not a lesbian.
67
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,558
Hmm.
What is wrong with you?
68
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,393
I just want our daughter
to have some fun!
69
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,937
Live a little.
You only get one life.
70
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,398
Don't worry, Dad, I'm definitely
not doing a senior prank.
71
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,817
Right. You guys
are not doing a prank.
72
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,986
Gotcha.
73
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,279
Why are you winking at me?
74
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,907
Great.
So, you're a snitch, too.
75
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:41,578
♪♪
76
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,830
I'm worried if Taylor doesn't
learn to break the rules
77
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,832
and color outside the lines
once in a while,
78
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,958
she's going to miss out.
79
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,835
I'm a lawyer.
My whole life is rules.
80
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,295
We have them for a reason ‐‐
81
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,755
to secure
a safe and just society.
82
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,131
Hmm.
83
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,174
You know, when you're
as rich as I am,
84
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,384
there are no rules.
85
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,426
Watch.
86
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,095
Yes, hi.
87
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,721
I would like
that woman's food.
88
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,598
Okay, she's having the ‐‐
N‐No.
89
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,933
You're not understanding me.
90
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,226
I want her food.
91
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,435
Oh, I ‐‐
I couldn't possibly ‐‐
92
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,853
[ Sighs ]
93
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,775
Hey!
I'm not done!
94
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,652
See? No rules.
95
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,987
Greg is such a rigid
by‐the‐book guy,
96
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,823
and that's what I love
about him.
97
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:18,865
Actually, I don't.
98
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:19,825
I don't know
why I just said that.
99
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,118
Mm‐hmm.
Continue.
100
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,786
Because he's
such a rule‐follower,
101
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,539
I have to go the other way to
balance things out for the kids.
102
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,915
So it's Greg's fault
103
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,334
that I have to force Taylor
to do a senior prank.
104
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,461
I'd like my breakfast back.
105
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,171
No.
106
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,257
Bring me your fruit.
107
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:40,720
♪♪
108
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,721
No rules!
109
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,229
♪♪
110
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,939
If I make this, I'll
have my dad buy the Warriors.
111
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,607
[ Sighs ]
112
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,443
[ Light thud ]
113
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:55,527
Why'd you do that?
114
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,028
I don't care
for Steph Curry.
115
00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,572
[ Door creaks lightly ]
116
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,490
Guys...
117
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,910
I just got invited to a party
at Maggie K's house.
118
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,371
It's my first
"party for no reason" party!
119
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,581
That's big!
120
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,623
iFelicidades!
121
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,791
You made it.
122
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,209
You've become
a cool kid, huh?
123
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,295
My money was on shut‐in
or serial killer.
124
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,088
I'm so excited
to go with Franklin.
125
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,048
Wait. Franklin was invited
to this party?
126
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,301
Well, no, but he's staying
with us this weekend.
127
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,470
His mom's cult
is going to Branson, Missouri,
128
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,929
to take in a few shows.
129
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,308
It's not all arms trafficking
and praying to the moon.
130
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,101
You can't bring Franklin.
131
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,478
I have to.
132
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,937
He's my platonic childhood
husband/partner.
133
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,397
But this is a cool‐kid party,
134
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,399
and Franklin's
a stone‐cold weirdo.
135
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,776
No, he's not. He's unique.
136
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,986
Off‐beat. Eccentric.
137
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,322
All words parents use
when their kid is a weirdo.
138
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,740
Well, I can't
blow off this party.
139
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:42,949
That'd be social suicide.
140
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,035
Can you guys help me?
141
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,536
By doing what?
I don't know.
142
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,039
Teach Franklin to be cool
so I can take him with me.
143
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,540
I guess we could
help this kid out.
144
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,667
I made you cool.
I could make Franklin cool.
145
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,337
Are you kidding?
I made you cool, dude.
146
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,506
Dude, you never even
used the word "dude"
147
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,799
before I met you, dude.
148
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,342
Dude.
Dude.
149
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,052
Dude?
Dude.
150
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,136
Dude.
151
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,930
What the hell is going on?
152
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,599
Thanks for taking us
to get tacos, Mrs. A.
153
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,892
I lied.
154
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,519
We're not going
to get tacos.
155
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,229
Oh, no, I've seen her
do this to Luthor.
156
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,647
We're going to the vet!
157
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,941
We're going to your school
to pull a senior prank!
158
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,151
Whoo!
Class of 2019!
159
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,319
But we're
the class of 2020.
160
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,779
Sorry. Old habits.
161
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:26,535
♪♪
162
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,954
I've got Silly String,
shaving cream, and clothes
163
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,914
to make the Minuteman
look like Principal Ablin.
164
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,291
Let's get to work!
165
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,793
But aren't we gonna
get in trouble?
166
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,837
Silly String and shaving cream
wipe off.
167
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,004
This is harmless fun.
168
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,714
Taylor, trust your mother.
169
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,134
[ Sighs ]
170
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,554
[ Gasps ]
171
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,597
Whoa!
[ Chuckles ]
172
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,516
This is so much better
than my prank.
173
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,601
I was gonna spin around
real fast until I got dizzy.
174
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,520
And?
That was the whole prank.
175
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,604
Who's that pranking?
176
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,605
My tummy, mostly.
177
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,107
Oh, geez...
178
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,109
[ Laughter ]
179
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:04,739
♪♪
180
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,033
Trip: Wow. That is
such a good Ablin.
181
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,285
We've gotta
send this to him.
182
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,871
Oh, sweetie.
I feel so alive!
183
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,706
But we should really get going
before we get caught.
184
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,083
Hang on.
Here is the finishing touch.
185
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:15,959
[ Gasps ] Mm!
186
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,880
[ Grunts ]
187
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,883
[ Sighs ]
188
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,551
[ Laughter ]
189
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,635
Alright, come on down.
[ Chuckles ]
190
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,595
[ Clears throat ]
191
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,637
[ Clanking ]
192
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,139
[ Gasps ]
193
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,057
Oh, my God, the statue!
I broke it!
194
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,685
Oh, man.
Don't worry.
195
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,729
I'm sure it snaps
right back in.
196
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,480
[ Metal clinks ]
197
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,441
[ Metal clanks loudly ]
198
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:43,445
I'm not gonna lie to you, kids.
This is not good.
199
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,114
♪♪
200
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,454
Okay,
thank you.
201
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,706
That was
the Historical Guild.
202
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,625
Apparently,
last night,
203
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,711
some monster desecrated
the school's Minuteman statue!
204
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,172
Off with his head!
That's far too humane!
205
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,465
If these
were Colonial days,
206
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,133
whoever did this
would be dragged by horses,
207
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,092
thrown off a cliff,
and ‐‐
208
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,177
Oh, you're making fun
of me.
209
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,642
I can't take this.
I'm going to confess to Dad.
210
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,685
Taylor, if you take
responsibility for your actions,
211
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,228
you are so grounded.
212
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,688
You are
the weirdest mom ever!
213
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,982
Look, the only way
we're getting out of this mess
214
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,234
is if we stick together
and keep our mouths shut.
215
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,196
I did what you said,
Mrs. A.
216
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,822
I "took care" of the musket.
[ Metal clanks ]
217
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,075
I took
really good care of it.
218
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,785
It's cleaned and polished.
219
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,328
That's not at all
what I meant.
220
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,163
I'm starting to think
I have a learning disability.
221
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,083
Oh, sweetie.
[ Doorbell rings ]
222
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,712
Ugh! Holy crap,
it's Principal Ablin.
223
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,005
We're caught!
224
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,216
Trip, I am going to be
very clear here
225
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,676
so that
there's no confusion.
226
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,928
Bury the musket in the backyard
using a shovel,
227
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,347
and make sure that the musket
is fully covered with dirt
228
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,349
so that it's not
sticking out of the ground.
229
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,101
"It" being the musket,
230
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,561
and "the ground"
being the ground.
231
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,729
See?
232
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,398
Why can't everyone
talk to me like that?
233
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,316
[ Knock on door ]
Coming!
234
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,526
[ Dog barking in distance ]
235
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,279
Principal Ablin!
What a surprise.
236
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,407
I've come
with terrible news.
237
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,867
You're going to want
to sit down.
238
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,244
[ Door closes ]
239
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,455
The Westport Minuteman,
our school's beloved statue,
240
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,832
has been vandalized.
241
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,459
What?!
242
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,253
Do you have any idea
who did this?
243
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,213
Not yet. [ Sighs ]
That's why I'm here.
244
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,631
I wanted to talk
to your husband.
245
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,592
Oh.
Um, Greg?!
246
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,302
[ Door creaks lightly ]
247
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,721
I'm sure you know
about the attack.
248
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,305
I do.
249
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,640
I was standing right there
when I heard the news.
250
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,351
I myself was near
the water fountain at school
251
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,352
that doesn't have
enough pressure.
252
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,646
Ah, the dribbler.
I know it well.
253
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,981
Since this is
a school matter,
254
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,357
I'm keeping the investigation
in‐house,
255
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,192
but I need someone
on my team
256
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,986
with an intimate knowledge
of local history.
257
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,779
Will you help me catch
the criminals who did this?
258
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,032
Of course.
For history!
259
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,200
For Westport!
For Mother!
260
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,161
Hello,
Dad and Principal.
261
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,621
We were just outside
digging holes.
262
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,165
We watched
the movie "Holes,"
263
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,666
and we wanted
to dig holes
264
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,251
like the holes they dug
in "Holes."
265
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,837
You probably
have no idea,
266
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,882
but your school's Minuteman
statue has been vandalized,
267
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:14,679
and Principal Ablin here
has no idea who did it.
268
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,680
No idea.
269
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,266
But I soon will.
270
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,559
Spread the word,
kids.
271
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,935
Whichever senior
did this
272
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,605
will not be able
to walk at graduation.
273
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,982
Milady.
274
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,569
Is he threatening
to break our legs?
[ Door opens ]
275
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,279
I'll explain later.
276
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,906
♪♪
277
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,450
Okay, Franklin,
my brother and Cooper are here
278
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,535
to get you ready
for your first cool‐kid party.
279
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,661
Ooh, a makeover!
280
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,789
But just so you know,
I'm happy with my frame,
281
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,624
so I don't want
to get too buff.
282
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,959
Franklin, the two
things you need to succeed
at a Westport party
283
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,253
are conversation skills
and a sick outfit.
284
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,463
Do you have
a go‐to funny story?
285
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,547
Do I!
286
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,549
Me and my Uncle Julius
were on a canoe trip,
287
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,094
and I had a fishing line
hanging off my extra toe ‐‐
288
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,220
We're shutting this down
right now.
289
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,055
I'll give you
one of my stories,
290
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,057
you'll memorize it
and say it word for word.
291
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,642
We need to lose
the tiger shirt.
292
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:01,726
Mm‐hmm, definitely.
293
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,311
And are you
wearing jeggings, Franklin?
294
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,606
Oh, jeggings is
a much better name.
295
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,191
I've been
calling them leg‐eans.
296
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,694
Let's get to work.
297
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:14,906
The Minuteman was placed here
over 200 years ago.
298
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:18,576
The school was actually
built around the statue in 1958.
299
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,078
And here he stands,
300
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,081
a symbol of those
who defended this town.
301
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,375
Now it's our turn
to defend him.
302
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,459
What'd you say?
303
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,752
Nothing.
304
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,132
I'm going to take this
to the lab and get it tested.
305
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,467
It's Silly String.
But can we be sure?
306
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,844
Yeah.
We can be sure.
Hmm.
307
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,554
The lab will give us
a definitive answer.
308
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,513
Now...
309
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,764
Mm.
310
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,850
What is this
mystery substance here?
311
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,351
It's very clearly
shaving cream.
312
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,228
Or is that what
the culprit wants us to think?
313
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,109
Only the lab
will know for sure.
What lab?
314
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:51,860
Well, it's not
a Labrador Retriever,
315
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:52,986
I'll tell you that.
316
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,738
That's a joke that
the professionals in
the lab taught me.
317
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,908
♪♪
318
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,578
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78‐foot yacht
319
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,246
and they're bringing out
the caviar ‐‐
320
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,957
No, no, no.
Wagyu steak skewers.
321
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,458
If you can't
remember that,
322
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,960
then we're just going to
have to do the Prague story,
323
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,171
because they're not going to
serve caviar at Lake Como.
324
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,380
Not at
that time of year.
325
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,549
Franklin,
if you want to remember Wagyu
326
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,217
just remember ‐‐
Wagyu, doo‐doo.
327
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,720
He can remember anything
if you just put doo‐doo in it.
328
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,388
Watch this ‐‐
329
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,891
Franklin, what's the
atomic number of titanium?
330
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,976
Two, two!
The system works.
331
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,186
♪♪
332
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,605
Katie,
can you move your car?
333
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,607
Why don't you just take mine?
The keys are on the table.
334
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,609
Great.
See you later.
335
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,194
[ Door opens ]
There's empty cans
of Silly String
336
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,528
and shaving cream
in the back seat!
[ Door closes ]
337
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,031
I told you to dissolve those
in an acid bath!
338
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,366
We don't have any acid!
You didn't even
call Home Depot!
339
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,744
Go!
340
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,204
[ Door opens ]
341
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,246
Wait! Dad!
342
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,374
What's up,
sweetie?
343
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,543
Um, I'm worried
about you and Mom.
344
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,587
What?
It's just I haven't
seen you guys kiss
345
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,671
in a really long time.
346
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,381
And I'm worried
about your marriage.
347
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:56,549
Taylor,
that's insane.
348
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,135
Greg, our daughter
is clearly very upset.
349
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,554
Let's show her that
our relationship is
as strong as ever.
350
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,640
Well, I ‐‐
351
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:10,688
♪♪
352
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,773
[ Car door closes ]
353
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,816
Thanks, guys.
354
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,401
That was great.
355
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,487
Okay, good.
She feels better.
356
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:18,613
That was weird,
357
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,698
[Chuckling]
but I'll take it.
358
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:21,783
♪♪
359
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,993
I handed it to her,
she took a sip,
360
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,871
and she said, "That's the best
lemonade I've ever had."
361
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,165
And that's where Beyoncé got
the name for her album.
362
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,875
I don't need credit,
though.
363
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,126
The compliment
was enough.
364
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,753
You did it!
That's the story.
365
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,672
You told it from beginning
to end with no mistakes.
366
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,131
And this outfit...
367
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,592
If we could achieve this
with my Dad,
368
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,053
I could maybe get behind
being seen in public with him.
369
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,846
What happens when he's done
telling the story?
370
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:44,847
What does he say then?
371
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,432
After a story
like that,
372
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,351
all he has to do
is lean against the wall,
373
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,727
sip some water,
and play it cool.
374
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:50,770
Coop,
show him.
375
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,400
Whoa.
376
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,567
[ Sighs ]
377
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,236
Standing
and sipping water?
378
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,488
It'll take some practice,
but I think I can do it.
379
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,950
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
380
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,576
Okay, here's what I've got
so far.
381
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,703
Below the statue,
382
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,371
it says, "Seniors Rule,"
in shaving cream.
383
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,497
You were right.
384
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,208
And you were right about
the Silly String, too.
385
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,544
It cost me $200
to have a lab confirm that,
386
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,922
plus a $250 speeding ticket
I got racing to the lab.
387
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,966
Money well‐spent.
388
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,969
So, since I've left,
you've made...zero progress.
389
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,388
It's shaving cream
and Silly String, Greg.
390
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,723
[ Chuckling ]
We now know that.
391
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,641
Why don't we check
the school's security cameras?
392
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,977
Those are fake.
But wasn't there
a fundraiser?
393
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,521
We used the money for
Restoration Hardware couches
for the teachers' lounge.
394
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,689
Pretty sweet.
395
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:35,898
But without footage
or some evidence,
396
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,108
we're never
going to solve this case.
397
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,568
All we need to do
is go to every store
398
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,361
within a hundred‐mile radius
that sells Silly String
399
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,613
and interview the clerks.
Aggressively.
400
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:45,074
I don't know why I thought
this was going to be real.
401
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:48,161
♪♪
402
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,996
[ British accent ]
...and don't forget
403
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,748
to attach
your bibliography.
404
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,708
Properly formatted!
405
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,126
[ Laughter ]
406
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,503
You do such a good
Mrs. Conway impression.
407
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,547
Why is Franklin over there
by himself?
408
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,257
♪♪
409
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,885
Oh, he's just jet lagged
from Italy.
410
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:06,179
Oh, my gosh, Italy?
I love Italy.
411
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,139
Hey, Franklin,
Anna‐Kat said
412
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,640
you just got back
from Europe.
413
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,767
It was Italy,
actually.
414
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,143
[ Laughter ]
415
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,519
You're just as funny
as Anna‐Kat!
416
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,773
Why don't you tell them
about your trip, Franklin?
417
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,191
It was
so interesting
418
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,193
and worthy of telling
other people about.
419
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,569
I'd love to.
420
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,446
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78‐foot yacht
421
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:25,615
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers ‐‐
422
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,783
Lake Como?
423
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:27,784
Isn't that where
George Clooney has a place?
424
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,951
Uh...
425
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,912
Just keep going.
426
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,955
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78‐foot yacht...
427
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,207
You already said that.
428
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,792
I know
but I only have it memorized
429
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:36,751
from the beginning.
430
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,628
Wait, what do you mean
memorized?
431
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,963
Just continue the story
from where you stopped.
432
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,423
[ Whispering ]
So I'm in Lake Como
433
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,883
on my dad's 78‐foot yacht.
434
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,967
[ Normal voice ]
And they're bringing out
435
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,761
the doo‐doo steaks ‐‐
I mean, Wag‐doo.
436
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,805
Shoot.
What do I do?
437
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,348
Just do
the water thing.
438
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,142
Pardon me for a minute,
I've developed a thirst.
439
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,145
[ Indistinct conversations ]
440
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,272
Franklin!
No. Abort!
441
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,484
Franklin!
No! Stop!
442
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,570
So I'm in Lake Como
on my dad's 78‐foot yacht,
443
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,365
and they're bringing out
the Wagyu steak skewers...
444
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,699
♪♪
445
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,660
[ Gulping ]
446
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,662
♪♪
447
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,622
So it turns out
448
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,917
Principal Ablin's
no Hercule Poirot.
I'm sorry, who?
449
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,836
He's no Inspector Gadget.
Got it.
450
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,712
We're never going to find out
who damaged that statue.
451
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,298
Don't give up, Mr. A.
You're better than that.
[ Grunts ]
452
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,758
Give up, Mr. A.
453
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,343
You're not
better than that.
454
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,594
Well,
this is a real shame.
455
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,887
It will forever
remain unsolved,
456
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:31,347
like who killed Biggie.
457
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,598
[ Luthor walking ]
458
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:37,145
Why does Luthor have
the Minuteman's musket?
459
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,150
He must have attacked
the vandals
460
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,443
and kept the musket
as a trophy.
461
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,820
Good boy,
Luthor!
462
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,363
Well,
case closed.
463
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,908
You're right.
464
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,161
Luthor is the vandal.
465
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,495
Case closed.
[ Luthor whines ]
466
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,707
Case closed!
467
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:06,007
Okay,
what the hell is going on?
468
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:09,135
Well, clearly someone
broke into our backyard
469
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,512
and buried the musket
in an effort to frame us.
470
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:12,972
No.
471
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,807
Me, Trip, and Mom
vandalized the statue.
472
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,350
And that's why
you're not my favorite.
473
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,352
We let you down,
Mrs. A.
474
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,063
I'm sorry we're not the
criminals you wanted us to be.
475
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,774
I'm going to return the
musket and tell Ablin
who's responsible.
476
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,778
Good job, Luthor.
[ Door opens ]
477
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,405
Idiot.
[ Door closes ]
478
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:33,743
♪♪
479
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,370
Oh, there you are.
480
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,749
I didn't do such a good job
being cool, did I?
481
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,375
It's okay, Franklin.
482
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,753
You know, this isn't really
my scene, man.
483
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,213
I'm just
going to stay in here
484
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,714
for the rest
of the party.
485
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,008
Okay, want me
to get you anything?
486
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,302
I'll take more of that
flower water if they have it.
487
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,678
That stuff is good.
488
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,764
I'll see
what I can do.
489
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,390
♪♪
490
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,017
[ Piano playing ]
491
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,813
Franklin: ♪ And in
the bad times, I fear myself ♪
492
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:13,074
♪♪
493
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:18,037
♪ I'm off the deep end,
watch as I dive in ♪
494
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,458
♪ I'll never meet the ground ♪
495
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:27,922
♪ Crash through the surface,
where they can't hurt us ♪
496
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:32,593
♪ We're far
from the shallow now ♪
497
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,553
♪♪
498
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:38,182
♪ In the sha‐ha, sha‐ha‐low ♪
499
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:43,104
♪ In the sha‐,
sha‐la‐la‐la‐low ♪
500
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:48,109
♪ In the sha‐ha, sha‐ha‐low ♪
501
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:53,573
♪ We're far
from the shallow now ♪
502
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,742
♪♪
503
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:01,122
[ Applause ]
504
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,458
Franklin,
that was beautiful!
505
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,669
I didn't know
you knew how to play the piano.
506
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:07,920
Your voice is ‐‐
507
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,338
Like an angel.
I know.
508
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,300
I never should've listened
to Oliver and Cooper.
509
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,510
You're perfect
just being you.
510
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:15,761
I'm always myself.
511
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,430
Except when I'm the ghost
of my Uncle Julius
512
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,140
who died
in that canoe accident.
513
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:22,476
Franklin, I'm sorry
I tried to change you.
514
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,145
That's okay.
515
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,396
I know I'm weird.
516
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,523
But I really
like myself.
517
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,525
I could do without
the chronic lower back pain,
518
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,402
but I heard it gets better
as you get older.
519
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:38,367
[ "Heart and Soul" plays ]
520
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:48,336
♪♪
521
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:53,257
♪♪
522
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,176
[ Dramatic music plays ]
523
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:56,510
Principal Ablin.
524
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,720
Good news.
525
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,055
As you can see,
I'm this close to solving it.
526
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,598
Now all I have to do
527
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,975
is replace these question marks
with names and faces.
528
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,102
I know who did it.
529
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,604
It was me.
530
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:09,106
I knew it!
531
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,193
It's the only reason
I put you on the case,
532
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:13,277
to keep
my enemies close.
533
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,779
You almost
got away with it.
534
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,573
But nobody escapes...
Ablin Justice.
535
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,783
But I turned myself in.
536
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:19,784
Potato potato.
537
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:23,204
♪♪
538
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,374
I can't believe we're not
walking at graduation.
539
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,708
Again.
540
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,959
[ Sighs ]
541
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,087
I'm really sorry,
guys.
542
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,798
So I talked
with Principal Ablin.
543
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,716
Taylor and Trip should be
allowed to walk graduation.
544
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,343
Taylor worked
so hard this year,
545
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,136
I thought she just deserved
a little fun.
546
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,306
This is on me. I'm going
to go tell Ablin that
I broke the statue.
547
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,392
Too late.
I already told him I did it.
548
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,268
You what?
And as punishment,
he's putting me
549
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,603
on the school's
recycling committee
550
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,021
even though I founded
the committee,
551
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,981
and I'm still not sure why
he'd think that's a punishment.
552
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,483
Thank you!
Oh.
553
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,487
Mr. A, thanks,
but why'd you take the blame?
554
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,613
Sometimes it's okay
to break the rules,
555
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,031
especially when
it's to protect your kid.
556
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,616
That is what I've been saying
the whole time!
557
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,368
No, you haven't been saying that
at all.
558
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,494
What you've
been saying is,
559
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,913
your best memories
involve breaking the rules,
560
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,998
and I realized
my best memory does, too.
561
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,376
Back when I was a TA
in college,
562
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,962
there was this cute,
vivacious student I
really wanted to ask out,
563
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,755
but it was
strictly forbidden.
564
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,508
So, I broke the rules,
asked her out anyway.
565
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:18,509
Look at that.
566
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:19,927
Without a little
rule breaking,
567
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,512
this family
wouldn't even exist.
568
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,347
Aww.
569
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,849
Do you know
what you're awwing about?
570
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,934
No, but your dad
told a long story
571
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,477
and your mom didn't say
anything mean, so...
572
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,689
♪♪
573
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,571
Hey, guys.
574
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,823
So?
How'd our boy do?
575
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,284
Franklin was amazing!
Cooper:
That does it.
576
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,494
We're opening a finishing school
for high‐class boys.
577
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,663
It actually had nothing to do
with your advice.
578
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,582
I never should've listened
to you dummies.
579
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,875
Franklin: And this outfit
is all wrong.
580
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,918
You don't cover up these guns.
You show them off.
581
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,295
Then what happened?
582
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,130
Turns out,
Franklin doesn't need your help.
583
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,673
There's tons
we don't know about him.
584
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,425
Did you know
he's a black belt in karate?
585
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,343
There's no way
you're a black belt in karate.
586
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,972
Shut him up,
Franklin.
587
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:08,976
[ Franklin exhales sharply ]
588
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,276
I learned it from watching
"Walker, Texas Ranger."
589
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,986
I don't even know
what to believe anymore.
39285
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