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[bright fanfare]
3
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- Can you believe this,
Scully?
4
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:07,181
Looks like we're
the only responsible people
5
00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,052
who show up on time anymore.
6
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,662
- And they're always calling us
lazy, but where are they now?
7
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,795
I don't see them.
- They're not here.
8
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,623
- But you know who is?
Hitchcock and Scully.
9
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:15,667
- The oafs.
- The bozos.
10
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,495
- The--
- Idiots!
11
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,497
What are you doing here?
The building's being fumigated.
12
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,021
There were so many emails.
13
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,023
- There were?
We didn't--
14
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- Lightweight.
- That's your takeaway?
15
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,421
[upbeat music]
16
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:37,515
♪
17
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- It just doesn't seem
like he should be that fast
18
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,356
for how big he is.
Gah, I hate Wario.
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,097
- Peralta, my office.
20
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,274
- Oh, Kevin's here.
And you both look so upset.
21
00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,102
Oh, no, did they stop
funding the arts?
22
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,538
- They did, but that doesn't
matter anymore.
23
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,584
Nothing does.
Cheddar has been kidnapped.
24
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- Someone took our fluffy boy.
- Oh, my God.
25
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,196
What happened?
26
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,676
- Well, Cheddar and I walked
to the bakery together,
27
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,243
we shared a plain scone.
Then we went to the park,
28
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,158
and I let him off leash.
He never came back.
29
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- Someone took our fluffy boy.
- Right, you mentioned that.
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Now, just to be clear,
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00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,120
you didn't actually see someone
take him, right?
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00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,687
So there's a chance
Cheddar just ran away.
33
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,211
You know like some dogs do.
- Cheddar isn't some dog.
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00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,561
He would never do that.
Someone took our--
35
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,215
- Fluffy boy, yes,
I understand.
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- I need you
to drop everything.
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00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,611
Nothing in the world
is important to me as this dog.
38
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,178
- I wouldn't say nothing.
39
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,570
For example,
you and I are very close.
40
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,311
- We don't have time for this.
- Okay.
41
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,139
- In kidnappings, the first
48 hours are the most crucial.
42
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,228
- Right, and in dog years,
that's only seven hours.
43
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,751
- Why would you say that?
This is why everyone
44
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,579
prefers that dog to you.
- Everyone?
45
00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,190
Okay, look, I'm just saying
46
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,582
that before we jump
to any conclusions...
47
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,454
[text dings]
We should consider the fact
48
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,238
that there's no actual proof
that someone kidnapped Cheddar.
49
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:49,413
- It's a text.
It reads,
50
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,632
"I have kidnapped your dog."
51
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:51,633
- I see.
Well, that seems
52
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:52,721
like pretty hard proof.
53
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,418
That's good.
Good proof.
54
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:57,334
- ♪ I said who's that mama
looking so cool ♪
55
00:01:57,378 --> 00:01:59,423
♪ I'm that mama
looking so cool ♪
56
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:00,859
- Whoa?
- [gasps] What?
57
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,339
Oh, sorry,
didn't see you there.
58
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,862
- Yeah, that was clear.
What's going on?
59
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,560
Why you dork dancing?
- A baby store in Dumbo
60
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:08,258
is having a contest
to win a Snoog.
61
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:09,868
- Who or what is a Snoog?
62
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,697
- Are you kidding me?
It's only the best roller.
63
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,308
It has the versatility
of Sporjule,
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00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,440
the safety rating
of a Fajerb,
65
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,530
and an even smoother ride
than the Kinderbuscht.
66
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,184
- Are you having a stroke?
67
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,577
- All the best strollers
are from Scandinavia,
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00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:23,795
where they don't hate people
for having children.
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00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,232
- I saw "Midsommar."
70
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,581
Those people have
their own problems.
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00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:27,669
- A Snoog is my dream stroller,
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00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,497
but it's way too expensive.
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00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,715
- What's the contest?
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00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,500
- It's an endurance
competition.
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00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:33,762
Everyone has to stand
with one hand on the stroller,
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00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,285
and if you let go, you're out.
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00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,808
Last person holding on wins.
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00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,897
- Sounds painful.
Can I come?
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00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,856
- Aww.
For moral support?
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00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,336
- Sure.
That.
81
00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:44,251
- Okay, sir,
82
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,904
the kidnapper should be calling
with his demands any minute.
83
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,472
If we trace his location,
we can find your fuzzy boy.
84
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,952
- Not fuzzy.
He's fluffy.
85
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,519
- We don't know
what he is anymore.
86
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:52,955
He could be fuzzy,
he could be anything.
87
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,957
Raymond, he could be scruffy.
88
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,654
- Now you've upset Kevin.
I hope you're happy.
89
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,265
- Why would I be happy?
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00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,353
I clearly just mixed up
fuzzy and fluffy.
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00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:00,528
- "Just?"
You're fired.
92
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:02,182
I want your shield
and your piece.
93
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,792
- That seems a little extreme.
- Jake is right.
94
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,489
- Thank you, Kevin.
- Just suspend him without pay.
95
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,664
- Why did you ask for my help?
[phone buzzing]
96
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,188
- He's calling.
- Sir, remember,
97
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,450
we need two minutes
for the trace.
98
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,842
- Two minutes, understood.
99
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,235
- So just keep him talking
and stay calm.
100
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,889
- Peralta,
I'm in complete control.
101
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,586
- [disguised voice] Hello?
- Shut your damn mouth.
102
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I'm the one talking here.
- Then this is over.
103
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,329
[beep]
- And he hung up.
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00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,765
Well, that could've
gone better.
105
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,550
- Come on, Terry.
You can pick up that paper.
106
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:25,640
[strained groan]
107
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,730
No, forget it.
It's only a first offence.
108
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,427
- Is everything okay,
Lieutenant?
109
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:32,255
You've been groaning
all morning.
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- I'm sore from my workout.
My muscles hurt so bad.
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Look.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
112
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:40,785
- Come with me, friend.
I have exactly what you need.
113
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Bone broth!
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It's an old Boyle
family recipe.
115
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:45,877
I drink it after every workout,
and I'm never sore.
116
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,357
- Boyle, I don't think
we're maxing out
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at the same weight
at the gym.
118
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,012
- Oh, Terry,
they're just numbers.
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00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,970
You'll get there.
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00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,278
- Hey, there you are, and oh,
my God what is happening?
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00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,846
- I've gotten mad,
and now I'm getting even.
122
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,761
- Okay, look, Sir,
I know you're upset,
123
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:02,807
but you need to stay calm and
treat this like any other case.
124
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,331
I mean, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,
125
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:05,897
but now is not the time
to go all John Wick.
126
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,421
- Who's that?
A friend of yours?
127
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:08,900
- [sighs] I wish,
but he's not a real person.
128
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,467
He's a movie assassin
that goes nuts
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00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,034
when someone
messes with his dog.
130
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,036
- Then call me "John Wicks,"
'cause I'm about to go nuts.
131
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,995
- It's "Wick," singular,
and you already did go nuts.
132
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,563
It cost us the trace, remember?
Look, I need you to focus.
133
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,391
The kidnapper texted
his demands.
134
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,001
- How much does the bastard
want for my little doggy?
135
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,699
- Oh, that's just it.
He doesn't want money.
136
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:26,570
He requested all the files
we worked from May 2004.
137
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:28,311
It's a lead.
138
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,791
He's gotta be connected
to one of those cases somehow.
139
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,314
- Interesting.
140
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,402
You know what else
is interesting?
141
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:33,751
- Hmm?
- Grenades.
142
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579
- Just please, stop it.
I'm gonna take Kevin
143
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,320
to the park where Cheddar was
kidnapped and look for clues.
144
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,843
I need you to stay here,
go through those files,
145
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,715
and put together a list
of potential suspects.
146
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,760
Can you do that?
- Okay, fine.
147
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,893
I'll go through the files.
- Great.
148
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,461
- You realize I can't leave
149
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,853
until you put
the grenades back, right?
150
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,725
- Oh, but you let John Wicks
have grenades?
151
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,596
- It's "Wick."
Singular.
152
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,989
Just put 'em back.
153
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:56,513
.
154
00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:59,211
- Okay, Kevin, we need
to recreate your morning
155
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,343
and see
if we can find some clues.
156
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,040
- All right, Cheddar and I
entered
157
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,346
on the east side of the park
over past those trees--
158
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,869
oh, how he loved those trees.
159
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,262
Jake, I don't know
if I can do this.
160
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,046
- Yeah, you can do this,
I'm right here with you.
161
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,221
We're gonna get through it
together.
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00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,267
Now let's go.
- [coughs]
163
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:15,140
- Oh, hey, Kev, bud,
couldn't help but notice
164
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,751
that when I said, "let's go,"
you didn't go.
165
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,143
You stayed here
and stared at that bench.
166
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,406
- Cheddar loved benches.
167
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,146
He'd run up to them.
Sniff their legs.
168
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,713
Paw at them with his--
169
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,149
- Paws, sure,
that's what you paw with.
170
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,847
- [clears throat] I'm sorry.
This is impossible.
171
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,239
Everything I see
reminds me of Cheddar.
172
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:29,503
The grass, the asphalt,
squirrels--
173
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,374
Cheddar loved squirrels.
- Oh, stop.
174
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,811
- He loves to chase them.
I suppose I should say loved.
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00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,073
He'd never get there.
He's like--
176
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,858
- Eeyh, Kevin, stop, all right?
177
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,729
We need to get over to that
gate and recreate your morning,
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00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,209
and if seeing all these things
is too much,
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00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,385
then just focus only on me.
- Okay.
180
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,082
- All right,
stare straight into my eyes.
181
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,388
- Very good, I will stare
straight into your eyes.
182
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,085
- Okay.
Oh, wow.
183
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,392
Piercing.
Huh, okay, so let's do this.
184
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:52,526
And we are heading to the east
gate, we're doing great.
185
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,962
- This is working.
I can do this.
186
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,355
- Here we go.
- I'm doing it.
187
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,747
- You're looking away.
- No, I'm not.
188
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,140
- Stop looking away.
- I'm not.
189
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,271
- Don't look away.
- But I see leaves.
190
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,795
- No!
- Cheddar loved
191
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,013
playing in leaves.
Didn't matter what kind.
192
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,450
Oak, maple, elm.
193
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,801
- Wait, I hate to cut you off,
but look what I found.
194
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,150
Security camera.
195
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,412
- Cheddar loved
security cameras.
196
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:10,848
- How is that possible?
197
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:16,245
- Oh, Rosa, there she is.
The Snoog!
198
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,421
Look at those sexy lines.
199
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:21,076
Oh, I just wanna get
behind that thing and push.
200
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,382
- Aw, man,
you're grossing me out.
201
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,906
- [gasps]
What is Teddy doing here?
202
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,864
- Teddy?
- Oh, my gosh, hey Amy.
203
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,475
- Right, boring ex-boyfriend
Teddy.
204
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,215
Hey, Teddy.
- Hey, Rosa.
205
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,782
- What are you doing here?
You promised you would stop
206
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,436
showing up places
to propose to me.
207
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,133
- Quit flattering yourself.
I only did that four times.
208
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:36,874
[laughs]
Also, I'm taken now.
209
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,399
I got married, last year,
in the spiciest little city.
210
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,357
Phoenix.
It was very posh.
211
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,967
We served a flight
of large batch Pilsners.
212
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,404
I don't know if you remember,
but I love--
213
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,318
both: Pilsners.
- Yeah, we remember.
214
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,059
- Yeah, long story short,
we're pregnant now,
215
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,018
and I'ma--I'ma try and win
this sexy little number.
216
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,323
- Oh, God, is that
what I sound like?
217
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,542
- Yep.
- Excuse me.
218
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,935
Are you here
for the competition?
219
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,545
- Uh, yes, hi.
I'm Teddy Ramos.
220
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:59,027
Took my wife's last name.
Very brave.
221
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,202
- He's the worst.
222
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,856
- Hi, I'm Amy Santiago.
223
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,335
- I am so sorry,
224
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:05,425
but pregnant women
aren't allowed to compete.
225
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,905
Not after what happened
last year.
226
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:12,127
- Are you gonna say
what happened?
227
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,433
- It's part of the settlement.
We can't.
228
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,825
- Okay.
229
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,567
Well, uh, good news:
I'm not pregnant!
230
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:21,528
I just had a huge lunch.
- I'm so sorry, I just can't.
231
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,181
- All right,
I'll compete for her.
232
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,531
- What?
You will?
233
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,315
But I know you think
these strollers are dumb.
234
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,404
- They are, but I can't let
that boring bastard win.
235
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,059
- So we decided to paint
the baby room white.
236
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,582
- I mean, you used to have sex
with him.
237
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,366
- I know.
238
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,413
- Charles, this Boyle
bone broth is incredible.
239
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,111
I'm not sore at all anymore.
- I told you it works.
240
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,374
The Boyles used to drink it
during potato digging season
241
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,028
to keep everyone healthy
in the furrows.
242
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,161
- You know, I bet we could sell
this stuff.
243
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,032
- You really think so?
[gasps]
244
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,164
We can call our company
"The Bone Boys."
245
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,209
No!
"More Bone, Less Moan."
246
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,298
No!
"Workplace Bone Buds."
247
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,604
That's the one.
I'm registering it.
248
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:56,432
- Ewh, we can name
the company later.
249
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,478
Anyway, I know just who
to pitch this to.
250
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,523
My buddy who invented
Muscle Malt.
251
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,133
- [gasps]
This is great!
252
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,526
- [laughs]
- We're the perfect partners.
253
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,136
When it comes to cooking,
you got me.
254
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,399
When it comes to being ripped,
you also have me.
255
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,879
And you have
a little connection.
256
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,577
We're gonna be rich.
- [laughs]
257
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,056
- Sir, we're back.
258
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,580
Find anything
in the case files?
259
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,669
- Yes, most of them were
useless, but one caught my eye.
260
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:19,107
On May 15th, 2004 detectives
arrested Frank Kingston,
261
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,543
leader of the 16th Street Gang.
262
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,937
Thanks to the testimony
of confidential informant,
263
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:26,549
Kingston served 16 years.
He just got out last month.
264
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,377
- And you think he wants
the file to figure out
265
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,248
which one of his guys
turned on him to get revenge.
266
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,250
It's a Vendetta.
- [Italian accent] Vendetta.
267
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,687
- Sure.
268
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,211
- So now I know who the
sumbitch is who took my dog.
269
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,517
The only problem is,
270
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,519
I have no idea where
to find that sumbitch.
271
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:41,433
- Well, Raymond, I think we can
help you find that sumbitch.
272
00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:42,913
Jake?
273
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567
- Sumbitch.
We all got to say it.
274
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,482
Let me show you what we found:
A security camera grabbed
275
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,658
some footage of Cheddar being
picked up and put into a car
276
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,573
which was registered to
an anonymous shell company
277
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,445
on Dean Street.
We can be there in 15 minutes.
278
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,360
- That's weird.
It's sunny outside.
279
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,275
- Why's that weird?
280
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,016
- Because a [bleep]storm
is about to rain down
281
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,452
on that punk.
282
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:03,238
- Oh, my God, I fell for it,
and I loved it.
283
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,109
All right, let's gear up.
Kevin, you stay here,
284
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:07,590
and don't worry.
We're gonna get your dog back.
285
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,723
- So we did not
get your dog back.
286
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,552
Unfortunately, he wasn't here.
No, no, no.
287
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,118
I think Captain Holt's
taking it really well.
288
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:17,208
- [screams]
- So we'll see you soon.
289
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,732
- Wow, five hours.
290
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,647
This is the most exciting
contest we've had.
291
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,518
Of course, the incident
last year was exciting,
292
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,477
but we all know how that ended.
[inhales]
293
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,001
- No.
We don't.
294
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,306
- Right.
Because of the gag order.
295
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,743
- [groans]
296
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,353
Are you sure you wanna
keep doing this, Rosa?
297
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,268
You really don't have to.
298
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,096
- My feet hurt a little, but
I can go as long as it takes.
299
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,401
- We're having a great time
back here.
300
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,577
I was just telling
my buddy Reggie here
301
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,708
about this great salsa
that I make.
302
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,275
It's so mild
you barely taste it.
303
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,972
- That's it.
I can't take any more.
304
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,365
I'm out.
- Bye, Reggie.
305
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,019
I'll send you that article
about mailboxes.
306
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,542
- Please don't!
- Oh, my God,
307
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,023
Teddy is boring
people out of the competition,
308
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:52,287
and he doesn't even realize it.
Can't let him get to you, Rosa.
309
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,984
It's fine, I can handle boring.
We're friends.
310
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,638
- Ooh, guys,
you will never believe
311
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,989
who I saw at Bush Gardens last
summer: my neighbor.
312
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,774
Yeah?
Just walking around.
313
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,341
- The kidnapper said he would
call with drop instructions
314
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,301
at 8:00 a.m.
It is now--[sighs]--8:01.
315
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,737
Cheddar's dead.
316
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,521
- Cheddar is not dead.
It's just one minute.
317
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,088
Perhaps the kidnapper's watch
is slow.
318
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,786
- Oh, dear God,
if his watch is slow,
319
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,788
there's no telling what else
this psychopath is capable of.
320
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:17,529
- Raymond, Cheddar is fine.
He's coming back to us,
321
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,402
and that is why I bought a new
GPS tag to put on his collar.
322
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,664
- Thank you, Kevin.
323
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,492
At least some of us
are thinking clearly.
324
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,668
- Yes, crystal clear.
In fact I bought 5 GPS tags.
325
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,801
One for his collar
and one for each arm and leg.
326
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,629
I'm going to make bracelets
to put them on,
327
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,066
and I'll never lose
my Cheddar again.
328
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,676
- Okay, a little unsettling,
but I like your positivity.
329
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,504
[phone buzzing]
- Three minutes after 8:00.
330
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,332
This man is unhinged.
331
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,377
You said you'd call at 8:00.
- My watch is slow.
332
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,683
Put the files
on a flash drive,
333
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,598
and have your husband
bring it
334
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,078
to the 9th Street entrance
of Prospect Park at noon.
335
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,688
- My husband?
No.
336
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,385
I'm not involving him in this.
I'll bring them myself.
337
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,170
- I don't trust you.
338
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,693
I told you not to look for me,
but you did.
339
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,087
Send your husband
or the deal is off.
340
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,697
- Clearly,
we're not doing this.
341
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,264
- No, it's fine.
We can just alter the files
342
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,439
and give him fakes.
343
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,136
He'll never know.
- It's not that.
344
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,703
It's that I refuse to put Kevin
in harm's way.
345
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,401
- Understood,
but I think maybe I have a way
346
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,099
to put Kevin in danger
347
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,666
without putting Kevin
in danger.
348
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,145
- [impersonating]
Well, hello there Raymond.
349
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:09,712
It's me, Kevin!
350
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,583
- [flatly] And I am
Detective Jacob Peralta.
351
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,673
- We didn't have anything else
to wear so we just switched.
352
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,457
- He understands.
353
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:18,678
.
354
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,549
- Okay, if we're gonna pull
this off,
355
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,985
we need to teach you
356
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:24,335
how to move, talk, and act
exactly like Kevin.
357
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,729
- In other words we have
a "Pygmalion" situation.
358
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,079
- Exactly, a "pig mailman"
situation.
359
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,690
- Raymond.
- It'll be okay.
360
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,126
- What'll be okay?
- Let's get started.
361
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,867
- Yes, let's get started!
- It's getting worse.
362
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,216
- Spot on, Kevin.
363
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,653
- Look, Raymond.
A yellow crested warbler.
364
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,786
- Look, Raymond.
A yellow crested warbler.
365
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,223
- No, you're too excited.
The warbler's a common bird.
366
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,790
- Ah.
- And then I said,
367
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,227
"Which 'Metamorphosis'?
Kafka or Ovid?"
368
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,272
- [laughs]
- He loves it.
369
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,013
He loves it.
- [sighs]
370
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,319
- So that's the joke.
Now, you tell it.
371
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,103
- Oh, okay,
[clears throat]
372
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:55,236
so a professor walks in
to a rare books collection--
373
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,673
- No, you've ruined it.
Now it's not funny.
374
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,762
- Look, Raymond.
A yellow crested warbler.
375
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,069
- Look, Raymond.
A yellow crested warbler.
376
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,853
- Ugh, not excited enough.
377
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,768
They may be common,
but they're still birds.
378
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,248
- At the 92nd Street Y,
379
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,076
I had a wonderful symposium
on just that topic.
380
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,817
- That's it.
You're getting it.
381
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,383
- Ah, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool.
382
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,995
- Don't say "cool,"
instead say "indeed."
383
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,779
- Oh, indeed, indeed,
indeed, indeed, indeed.
384
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,738
[laughs]
It's weird.
385
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:21,088
Look, Raymond.
A yellow crested warbler.
386
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,872
- Yes!
387
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,787
That's the right level
of excitement for such a bird.
388
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,789
You captured
the essence of Kevin.
389
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,095
You've done it.
390
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,966
- Correction,
I've accomplished it.
391
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,620
- Indeed.
- Indeed.
392
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,100
- Indeed, indeed, indeed...
393
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,754
all: Indeed, indeed, indeed,
indeed, indeed.
394
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:35,972
- It's growing on me.
395
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,975
- Oh, my God,
Rosa.
396
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,934
I can't believe
you're still here.
397
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,805
And I can't believe Teddy
looks so normal.
398
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,111
- I'm 'onna win you that Snoo.
Slog.
399
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,329
Snat--whatever,
my brain is broken,
400
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,114
I haven't slept in 72 hours.
401
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,811
- You've only been doing
the competition for one night.
402
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,813
- I mean, you're allowed
to not sleep for other reasons.
403
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,773
- Okay, I got you a coffee.
- Oh, thank you.
404
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,818
Just need to put my left hand
on the stroller.
405
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,430
My right hand grabs the cup.
My mouth do the sippin'.
406
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,302
- What's happening?
407
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,739
- My broken brain won't talk
to my body, so I'm doing it.
408
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,958
Blink.
409
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,220
- Rosa, you don't
have to do this.
410
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:07,917
You can stop.
- Snarl at Amy.
411
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,092
[snarls] Teddy and I
are the only ones left.
412
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,833
I'm 'onna win this
413
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,661
no matter how much he talks
about light rail systems.
414
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:13,967
- Ooh, you should ride the one
in Akron, by the way.
415
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,707
Very little noise.
- Oh, my God.
416
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,318
- Enough about light rails.
Let's talk trams.
417
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:18,841
Amusement parks get it.
- I can't, I can't, I can't...
418
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,147
If more cities adopted
amusement park...
419
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,452
- I can't, I can't.
[gasps].
420
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,976
Oh, put your hands
over your ears.
421
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,281
- Oh no, wait, Rosa!
422
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,979
- Hands are off.
We have a winner!
423
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,328
[buzzer sounds]
- Me?
424
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,460
I won a stroller?
Whoo-hoo!
425
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,811
[laughing]
- Oh, I see what I did wrong.
426
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,377
- It's okay.
Come on, let's get you home.
427
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,988
- Excuse me.
Amy.
428
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,294
You can have the stroller
for the right price.
429
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:38,730
- Okay, how much?
430
00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,169
- Amy Santiago,
will you marry me?
431
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,779
- No!
432
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,172
- Okay, I'm approaching
the drop site.
433
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,347
I don't see anything unusual.
434
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,001
- We have eyes on you.
435
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,177
Just be natural.
- Indeed, I will.
436
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:52,875
Oh, look,
a yellow crested warbler.
437
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,398
- Very good.
[phone ringing]
438
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:55,922
- He's calling.
Wait, Kevin,
439
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,184
we didn't go over
how you answer the phone.
440
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,881
- There isn't time.
Just answer.
441
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,187
- Okay.
442
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,971
You've reached
Professor Kevin Cozner.
443
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,408
Please start speaking
when I finish this sentence.
444
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:06,889
- Pick up the book
on the bench and head south.
445
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,022
- He hung up.
446
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,024
And he had me pick up a copy
of "The Tempest."
447
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,721
- "Tempest?"
Oh, no, Raymond.
448
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:14,375
Do you know what's happening
in the park today?
449
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:17,247
- The Shakespeare Festival
which will be attended by--
450
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,858
- Guys, I'm in a sea of Kevins.
451
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,903
[hijinks music]
452
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:24,037
- Okay, between us,
I think we made enough broth.
453
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,386
- Did you edit the presentation
like I asked?
454
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:26,909
- You mean did I remove
455
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,345
the tasteful photos
of me stretching?
456
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,957
- They weren't tasteful!
You were in a thong.
457
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,915
[phone dings]
458
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,352
All right, Muscle Malt Kenneth
is on his way up.
459
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:38,790
Hey, I just wanna say,
no matter how this turns out,
460
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,357
it was really fun
working on this with you.
461
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,229
- Aw, Terry,
it's gotta turn out well.
462
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:45,449
I invested $11,000 in it.
- $11,000?!
463
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,887
It only costs 30 bucks
to make the broth!
464
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,453
- Yeah, but it cost $11,000
465
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,934
to buy the domain name
"workplacebonebuds.com."
466
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,370
I am all in.
467
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,416
- Boyle, why in the world
would you do that?
468
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,419
You are such a--
an amazing business partner.
469
00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,942
Kenneth, I'd like you to meet
470
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,509
my amazing business partner
Charles.
471
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,989
- Hey.
- Hello.
472
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,947
I'm excited to see
what you guys have here.
473
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:06,427
- Well, take a sip
and feel the soreness
474
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,124
start to drain away.
475
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,473
- [laughs]
476
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,954
- Mmm.
477
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,825
It's good.
Very tasty.
478
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:16,480
- Not only is it delicious,
it's high in amino acids,
479
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:17,960
and low in sodium.
480
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,266
- Well,
not exactly low in sodium.
481
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,876
It definitely has salt in it.
482
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,922
- Not in the batch I made.
I left it out.
483
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,488
Terry doesn't like
to get all bloaty.
484
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,838
- You left out the salt?
That stops the fermentation.
485
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,101
The salt keeps it stable.
486
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,407
- Oh, ah!
- God, what is happening?
487
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,148
They're all gonna blow!
Take cover!
488
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:35,151
[upbeat music]
489
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,587
♪
490
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,285
- So, uh, do we have a deal?
491
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,026
[all scream]
492
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,462
- Still waiting
for instructions, over.
493
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:43,116
- Wait, we don't have eyes
on you.
494
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,552
- Kevin, do you see Jake?
- Yes, he's right there.
495
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,380
Oh, no,
that's a different gentlemen
496
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,295
wearing a handsome jacket.
Everyone is so well dressed.
497
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,210
- Peralta, head for
the north gate.
498
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:52,125
We're having trouble
finding you.
499
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,344
- All right, Professor, I'm
assuming you're wearing a wire.
500
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,911
- A what?
A--huh?
501
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,260
Ah, yes, a wire.
502
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,001
My husband asked me
to wear that.
503
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,003
- We lost comms.
Something happened.
504
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:04,441
Cheddar!
Uh, my fluffy boy!
505
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,269
I've missed you so.
506
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,010
- All right, put up your hands.
I'm gonna tap you down.
507
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,490
- There's no need for that.
I have the drive.
508
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,971
Just take it.
- Thanks.
509
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,494
I'm still gonna pat you down.
510
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,887
- Be my guest, but you're not
gonna find anything.
511
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,978
- Here's a gun.
- Whoops.
512
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,023
- And another gun.
- I forgot about that one too.
513
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:23,156
- So, the Professor's got
two guns on him,
514
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,071
and he's wearing a fake beard.
515
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:26,637
- Oh, please don't rip it off.
It hurts so much.
516
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,161
- I think the Professor's
actually a cop.
517
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,510
- [scoffs]
518
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,990
- Something tells me
I should check that drive.
519
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,121
There's a laptop
in the front seat.
520
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:33,514
Get it.
If these files
521
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,168
aren't the real deal,
you and the dog are dead.
522
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,170
- Oh, no need to worry.
Because everything
523
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,172
is on the level
and will be completely fine.
524
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,391
- [shouts]
- Cheddar, go!
525
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,958
Go, boy!
526
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,134
- Hey cop.
527
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,657
- Would you like
to buy a laptop?
528
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:49,399
.
529
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,706
- There's no sign
of Peralta out here.
530
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,360
Did you hear anything
on the wire?
531
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,535
- No, it never came back on.
Do you think he's okay?
532
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:55,753
- Shh!
- What?
533
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,233
- Do you hear?
- Yes, I do.
534
00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:58,539
That's the jingle
of Cheddar's collar.
535
00:16:58,582 --> 00:16:59,888
- [barks]
- And that's his bark!
536
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,369
[triumphant music]
537
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:05,372
Oh, that's our fluffy boy!
538
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,722
Good dog.
Good dog.
539
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,767
- Oh, Mr. Cheddar,
how I've missed you.
540
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,465
- We both have.
541
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,032
- I'm putting that GPS tag
on your collar immediately.
542
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,556
Oh, damn it, it's not here.
I'm wearing Peralta's pants.
543
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,253
Ugh,
and now my hands are sticky.
544
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:20,300
- Wait, Peralta's wearing
your pants which means--
545
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,041
- He doesn't have sticky hands.
- Yes, but also
546
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,434
he has the GPS tracker.
- [gasps]
547
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:28,917
- Hey, so, given the fact that
you haven't slept in forever,
548
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,571
I feel
like I should drive you home.
549
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,007
- I'm not going home.
I'm going out.
550
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,704
- What?
Really?
551
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,228
What is your life?
- It's pretty good actually.
552
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,751
- Huh.
- By the way,
553
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,405
I'm sorry that I didn't win you
that stroller.
554
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,929
- No, no, no, you were right.
I don't need a Snoog.
555
00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:42,365
It's way too fancy.
556
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,801
It is stupid.
- It's not stupid.
557
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,281
I said you didn't need it
558
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,543
because I already bought you
a stroller
559
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,067
for your shower
this weekend,
560
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,633
and it's just--isn't as fancy,
and I felt bad.
561
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,635
- Rosa, I would love
any stroller you got me
562
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,421
because it came from you.
- It's a Luftroller.
563
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:59,643
- Oh, that is--
that is a great stroller.
564
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,645
- I got you a gift receipt.
- Thank you so much.
565
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,430
- I cleaned up
as much as I could,
566
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:04,822
but I think that couch
567
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,433
is gonna smell like bone broth
for a while.
568
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,956
So did you talk to your friend?
569
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,871
Any chance
he'll reconsider investing?
570
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,612
- Yeah, that's not happening.
571
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,918
He said that was
the most scared he's ever been,
572
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,746
and he was on that plane
that landed on the Hudson.
573
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:16,965
- I guess that's it.
574
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,446
I'm never gonna make
my $11,000 back.
575
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,883
- Actually, I called
another guy from my gym.
576
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,450
He wants to buy the domain
577
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,060
workplacebonebuds.com
off of you.
578
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,540
- That's amazing!
579
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,976
I can't believe you found
someone else
580
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,413
who runs a bone broth company
with a coworker.
581
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:31,980
What are the odds?
582
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,982
- No, obviously he wants
to make a website
583
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:36,115
that helps people hook up
with their coworkers.
584
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,073
- I don't see it.
- Charles.
585
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,467
It's called
workplacebonebuds.com.
586
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,990
- All I hear
is friendship and broth.
587
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,687
But yeah, I mean he wants
to burn his money,
588
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,341
I'll light the match.
Yeah, tell him to call me.
589
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,126
His loss.
590
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,779
- So what's your plan here,
Kingston?
591
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,433
You gonna torture me?
592
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,956
You gonna put my beard back on
and rip it off again?
593
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,610
- No, I'm gonna cut off
each one of your fingers
594
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,003
until you tell me
who the rat is.
595
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,700
- I see.
Well that's bad news,
596
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,572
because I don't know
who the rat is,
597
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,487
and I need all my fingers
if I'm gonna beat Wario.
598
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:01,705
- You can't beat Wario?
- You can?
599
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,142
How do you do it?
- It's simple.
600
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,534
When he's approaching,
you just tap the--
601
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,014
[alarm blares]
Damn it!
602
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,624
Motion detector!
- I'm sorry, what do you tap?
603
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,626
- Get up, let's go!
- Kingston!
604
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,976
What do you tap?
What do you tap?!
605
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,849
- NYPD!
NYPD!
606
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,068
- Split up!
Cover the exits!
607
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,332
[suspenseful music]
608
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,942
Freeze!
- Captain!
609
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,510
Captain!
- He's not getting away!
610
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,556
He took my dog!
- Oh, my God.
611
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,558
It's happening!
612
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,169
- [grunting]
[gunshot]
613
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,519
♪
614
00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:35,130
[tires squealing]
615
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,133
[tires screech]
Aah!
616
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,876
♪
617
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:44,183
Oh, I see you have a knife.
618
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,750
But what you need
is an umbrella.
619
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,578
- Tell him why.
Tell him why!
620
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:53,670
- 'Cause there's a [bleep]storm
gonna rain down on you, punk.
621
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,846
[both shouting]
622
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,413
[grunts]
623
00:19:57,457 --> 00:20:00,503
[both grunting]
624
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,070
- Ooh.
625
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:05,116
[both shouting and grunting]
626
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:07,641
My goodness.
627
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,648
- [grunts]
628
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,435
- Awh!
- Ooo-hoo-hoo!
629
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:22,525
[both grunting]
630
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,746
- [screams]
- [grunts]
631
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:29,532
♪
632
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:34,407
- You took
the wrong fluffy boy!
633
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,886
[grunts]
634
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,758
[approaching sirens]
635
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,934
[sighs]
[grunts]
636
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,109
He's done.
Cuff him.
637
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,241
- Yes, sir.
638
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:44,155
- [gasps]
639
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:47,681
That was the single coolest
thing that has ever happened.
640
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,117
- Relax, Peralta.
641
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,119
That wasn't even the coolest
thing I've ever done.
642
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,599
- What have you done
that's cooler?
643
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:53,948
- It was the '80s.
It was nothing, I mean,
644
00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,471
they made a movie out of it,
but whatever.
645
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:56,646
- What?
What movie?
646
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,126
- I don't remember the title.
647
00:20:58,169 --> 00:21:00,433
Uh, there was a crime
on a plane, I was a passenger.
648
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,826
- Was it "Passenger 57?"
- I honestly don't know.
649
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,567
- It had to have been.
Just say it was that.
650
00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,221
- You know, Peralta,
sometimes I don't understand
651
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,179
the words
coming out of your mouth.
652
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:09,790
- Oh, my God,
was it "Rush Hour?"
653
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,226
- What?
No.
654
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,620
You know what?
I'm too old for this crap.
655
00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:17,580
- It was "Lethal Weapon?!"
Sir, are you Murtaugh?!
656
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,715
Does that make me Riggs?
657
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:23,586
I'm Riggs!
658
00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:25,588
- Fremulon.
659
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,677
- Not a doctor.
Shh.
49765
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