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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,608
WHY COME TO SCHOOL
TO TALK TO TOMMY'S TEACHERS?
2
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,942
IT'S A COMPLETE
WASTE OF TIME.
3
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,444
WHY CAN'T THEY
COME TO US?
4
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,380
THE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS
ON THIS PLANET
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,448
ARE SO FULL
OF THEMSELVES.
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:17,351
IT'S ALL THOSE
TV COMMERCIALS
GLORIFYING LEARNING.
7
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,387
"THE MORE YOU KNOW."
8
00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:22,723
IT MAKES THEM
DRUNK WITH POWER.
9
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,159
YEAH. WELL, THAT'S
GOING TO CHANGE
RIGHT NOW.
10
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,927
WHERE'S THIS
MR. RANDELL, ANYWAY?
11
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,197
WHEN THAT MEALY-MOUTHED
LITTLE WORM SHOWS UP,
12
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,365
I'LL TEACH HIM
THE MEANING OF THE WORD--
13
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:34,402
HIYA.
14
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,736
DR. AND MRS. SOLOMON?
15
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:36,104
NO.
16
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:39,073
NO, NO, NO.
17
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,309
I'M HIS SISTER.
18
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,311
A WOMAN.
19
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,346
NOT MARRIED.
20
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,047
JUST ME.
21
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,817
SINGLE SALLY.
22
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,521
I'D LIKE TO GET
OUT OF HERE WHILE
I'M STILL CLEAN-SHAVEN.
23
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,090
SO YOU CAN BEGIN
LAVISHING TOMMY
WITH PRAISES
24
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,791
ANYTIME YOU'RE READY.
25
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,761
WELL, UH, THE TRUTH IS,
26
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,530
I THINK TOMMY
CAN DO A LOT BETTER.
27
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,565
BE CAREFUL, SIR.
YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE CREATURE
28
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:08,336
I'VE COME TO THINK OF
AS MY SON.
29
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,838
HE COULD DO BETTER.
30
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,773
YOU KNOW...
31
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,875
WHATEVER.
32
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,477
EXCUSE US.
33
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:17,411
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
34
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,680
HE'S GIVING OFF THIS VIBE.
CAN'T YOU FEEL IT?
35
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:24,552
DOES IT FEEL LIKE
A STABBING PAIN
IN YOUR LEFT BUTTOCK?
36
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,419
NO.
37
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:30,090
THEN I APPEAR TO BE
SITTING ON A TACK.
38
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,292
DR. SOLOMON.
39
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,161
TOMMY'S VERY BRIGHT--
NO QUESTION.
40
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,663
UNFORTUNATELY, TOMMY'S
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
FITTING IN.
41
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:36,497
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
42
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,466
EXCUSE ME,
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
43
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,967
ABOUT THE THICKNESS
OF YOUR NECK
44
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,336
AND THE BROADNESS
OF YOUR SHOULDERS
45
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:45,206
THAT MAKES ME THINK
YOU'D BE
AN AGILE HUNTER
46
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:49,343
AND PROVIDE WELL
FOR OUR CHILDREN.
47
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,579
SALLY, I CHAPERONE
THE SCHOOL DANCE EVERY YEAR.
WOULD YOU--
48
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,381
YES.
49
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,283
GREAT.
50
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,884
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT TOMMY?
51
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,220
HE'S FINE. GREAT KID.
52
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,824
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
53
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,593
NEXT TIME, YOU MIGHT TRY
ORGANIZING YOUR THOUGHTS
54
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,796
ON A LITTLE INDEX CARD
FIRST. COME ON.
55
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:11,765
WASN'T HE CUTE?
56
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,034
TOTALLY ADORABLE.
A LITTLE ON
THE SCATTERED SIDE.
57
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,670
HE ASKED ME TO GO
TO A DANCE.
I GET TO GO DANCING!
58
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,272
NICE.
59
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,409
WHAT'S DANCING?
60
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,212
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
61
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,610
HARRY,
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
62
00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:57,778
OH, UH, SURE.
63
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:01,315
JUST GIVE ME A SECOND
TO FINISH
WHAT I WAS DOING.
64
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,891
O.K., WHAT IS IT?
65
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,695
CAN YOU DANCE?
66
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,598
HMM. I HAVE NO IDEA,
BUT I'LL TRY.
67
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,100
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
68
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,902
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
69
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,771
WHY, YES, I CAN.
70
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,176
IT APPEARS
I'M QUITE GOOD.
71
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,544
HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?
72
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:31,712
I HAVE NO IDEA.
73
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,581
I THINK IT'S
A BUILT-IN FUNCTION.
74
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,848
YOU TRY.
75
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,390
WOW.
76
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,124
YOU SUCK.
77
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,530
YOU MUST FEEL LIKE CRAP.
78
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,665
THAT'S IT--
79
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,501
SMACK ME.
80
00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,474
TOMMY. I TALKED
TO YOUR TEACHER
MR. RANDELL.
81
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,109
HE SAID YOU'RE NOT
FITTING IN.
82
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,944
OF COURSE I'M NOT
FITTING IN.
83
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,513
TO FIT IN,
YOU HAVE TO BE
SOMETHING.
84
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,881
WELL, WE'RE SOMETHING.
WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS.
85
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,783
WHY? HAS ANYONE
SAID DIFFERENTLY?
86
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:13,587
NO, IT'S JUST THAT
EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL
IS SOMETHING EXTRA.
87
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,123
THEY'RE AFRICAN-AMERICAN
OR ITALIAN-AMERICAN,
88
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:20,661
ASIAN-AMERICAN,
AUDIO-VISUAL AMERICAN.
89
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,963
WELL, WE'RE HUMAN-AMERICAN.
THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
90
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:25,499
DICK, IT'S PART OF MY
MISSION AS AN ADOLESCENT
91
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,535
TO REBEL AGAINST
MY UPBRINGING.
92
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:31,572
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHAT WE ARE,
I CAN'T DO MY JOB.
93
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,675
IF WE HAVE TO BE
PART OF SOME GROUP,
WE WILL BE.
94
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,644
I'LL DO SOME RESEARCH.
I'LL ASK AROUND.
95
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,145
I'LL FIND OUT
WHAT THE BEST THING
TO BE IS.
96
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,414
BY WEEK'S END,
WE'LL BE THAT.
97
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,182
WHAT SHOULD I BE
TILL THEN?
98
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,485
WE'RE CARBON-BASED
LIFE FORMS.
99
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,588
JUST TELL EVERYONE
WE'RE CARBO-AMERICANS.
100
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,128
AZTEC...
101
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,364
TOLTEC...
102
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,932
TOLTEC, INCA, INUIT...
103
00:04:58,966 --> 00:04:59,833
BEDOUIN,
104
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,268
INDIAN...
105
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,235
SIKH.
106
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,804
[CLEARS THROAT]
107
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,305
AZTEC, TOLTEC,
TOLTEC, INCA,
108
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,408
INCA, BEDOUIN,
INDIAN, SIKH.
109
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,676
AZTEC, TOLTEC,
TOLTEC, INCA,
110
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,978
INCA, BEDOUIN, IND--
111
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,480
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
AT MY DESK?
112
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,315
ANTHROPOLOGY--
IT'S FASCINATING.
113
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,050
SUCH A WEALTH
OF CULTURES.
114
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,887
UP UNTIL NOW,
I THOUGHT WHAT YOU DID
WAS POINTLESS
115
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,991
AND OF NO INTEREST
TO ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.
116
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,259
WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY
NOT AS FASCINATING
AS PHYSICS.
117
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,297
I MEAN, EVERYBODY
LOVES MATH.
118
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,734
NINA, WHAT IS THAT
THING ON YOUR HEAD?
119
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,002
IT'S CALLED A DAIKU.
120
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,570
I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
121
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,071
THANK YOU.
IT'S AUTHENTIC.
122
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,441
IT MAKES ME FEEL
CONNECTED
TO MY ANCESTORS.
123
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:44,545
SO THAT'S
THE TRADITIONAL HEADDRESS
OF ANCIENT SECRETARIES?
124
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,218
NO.
125
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,521
OF MY AFRICAN
ANCESTORS.
126
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,155
IN CASE
YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,
127
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,757
I'M BLACK.
128
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,027
WELL, OF COURSE
I NOTICED.
129
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,531
AND DR. ALBRIGHT,
YOU ARE...
130
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,166
COULD I BE
ANY WHITER?
131
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,204
WHAT?
132
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:13,441
I'M SORRY.
ALL YOU PEOPLE
LOOK ALIKE TO ME.
133
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,544
EXCUSE ME?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
134
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,113
I DON'T SEE WHY
PEOPLE HAVE TO DIVIDE UP
INTO ARBITRARY SUBSETS.
135
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,417
I MEAN, SKIN COLOR,
PLEASE.
136
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:26,219
YOU MAY SEE COLOR,
BUT I SEE PEOPLE.
137
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,557
AREN'T WE FORTUNATE
TO HAVE SOMEONE
SO ENLIGHTENED?
138
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,524
[SIGHS]
139
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:34,161
OH, PIOUS ONE,
SHOW US THE WAY.
140
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,564
THIS VERGES ON SARCASM.
141
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,998
MY HERITAGE
HAPPENS TO BE
142
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,467
VERY IMPORTANT
TO ME.
143
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,968
AS IT SHOULD BE.
144
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,770
I'M IRISH,
AND I'M VERY PROUD
OF THAT.
145
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,272
AND YOU'RE...WHAT?
146
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,106
UH, ME?
147
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,975
I--I--I--I'M, UH...
148
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,210
ONE OF THOSE, UH...
149
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,747
YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THE REALLY GOOD ONES.
150
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,315
YOU'RE THIS BIG
ANTHROPOLOGIST.
151
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,684
YOU TELL ME.
WHAT AM I?
152
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,518
CERTIFIABLE.
153
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:01,221
YES, THAT'S WHAT I AM...
CERTIFIABLE.
154
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,323
CERTIFIABLE
AND DAMN PROUD OF IT.
155
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,958
AS MY FATHER WAS BEFORE ME
156
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:08,596
AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM
AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM.
157
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,430
CERTIFIABLE.
158
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,801
OF COURSE,
WE NO LONGER PRACTICE.
159
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,509
YOU SEE, SALLY,
DANCING IS
ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE.
160
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,843
WATCH HARRY.
161
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,245
SEE...
* I GOT THAT HIP-HOP
STREAK *
162
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,514
* DON'T CARE ABOUT NOTHIN'
163
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:31,084
* 'CAUSE I'M ALL OF THAT
AND A SIDE OF FRIES... *
164
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,053
WHEREAS MY ATTITUDE
IS MORE...
165
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,454
* GOT HOME
FROM TEACHIN' PHYSICS *
166
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,823
* AND I'M WONDERIN'
WHAT'S FOR DINNER *
167
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,190
* BUT I AIN'T
GONNA SWEAT IT *
168
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,026
* 'CAUSE I AIN'T
EVEN FROM HERE *
169
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,761
HUH! HUH!
HUH! HUH!
170
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,896
HUH! HUH!
HUH! HUH!
171
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,532
* ALTHOUGH WE DIS 'EM
172
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,700
* WE LOVE
THIS SOLAR SYSTEM *
173
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,874
I HATE THIS!
174
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,242
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO LEARN
HOW TO DANCE
175
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,544
TO BE WITH THIS GUY.
176
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,345
IF YOU REALLY WANT
MR. RANDELL,
177
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:01,248
USE THE SKILLS
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
178
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,783
SHOOT A TRANQUILIZER DART
INTO HIS NECK
179
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,886
AND DRAG HIM BACK
TO YOUR PLACE.
180
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,421
THAT IS NOT
THE BEHAVIOR
OF A HUMAN FEMALE.
181
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,790
EXACTLY.
182
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,725
I WANT TO CHARM HIM,
BEGUILE HIM...
183
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:15,563
I WANT HIM TO BUY ME
A PWESENT.
184
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,730
TOMMY,
HOW WAS SCHOOL?
185
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:17,798
AWFUL.
186
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:18,999
I LOST MY MATH BOOK,
187
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:23,103
AND I COULDN'T CONVINCE
ANYBODY THAT I WAS SAMOAN.
188
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:23,804
DON'T WORRY.
189
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,538
THE ANSWER
TO ALL OUR PROBLEMS
190
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,840
IS RIGHT HERE
IN THIS BOOK.
191
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,843
IT'S LOADED WITH
EVERY POSSIBLE GENRE
OF HUMAN.
192
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,044
IT'S LIKE A CATALOG.
193
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:34,481
YOU CAN TAKE YOU PICK,
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE.
194
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,349
SO, WHO DO YOU
WANT TO JOIN?
195
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,518
THEY'RE
TOO SCRAWNY.
196
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,086
THEM?
197
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,955
NO. UGLY FLAG.
198
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,593
NO. TOO MANY GODS.
199
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:48,228
I'M NOT PUTTING THAT
ON MY HEAD.
200
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,497
AHA! HERE WE GO.
201
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,899
CANADIANS.
202
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,234
YAH. RIGHT.
203
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,472
NOW, LET'S HAVE A LOOK
AT EINSTEIN'S
BOUNDARY CONDITIONS
204
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,541
ACCORDING TO
THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY.
205
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,945
EINSTEIN, A JEW...
206
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,647
NEVER COULD HAVE MADE
THIS BREAKTHROUGH
207
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,381
HAD IT NOT BEEN
FOR THE EARLIER WORK
208
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,884
OF COPERNICUS, POLISH...
209
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,686
OR TYCHO BRAHE,
210
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,522
THE UNLUCKY DANE
FROM PRAGUE.
211
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,224
WHICH BRINGS UP
ANOTHER QUESTION.
212
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,292
HOW MANY PUERTO RICANS
DO WE HAVE IN CLASS?
213
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,428
ANY PUERTO RICANS?
214
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,598
LEON, WHAT ARE YOU?
215
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,866
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
ANSWER THAT.
216
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,567
DUTCH.
217
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,269
I LOVE YOUR TULIPS
AND YOUR DIKES.
218
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,438
OH, THANK YOU.
219
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:32,505
HOWEVER, I TURNED
YOUR PEOPLE DOWN
220
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,708
BECAUSE OF
THE SILLY SHOES.
221
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,309
O.K. NO PUERTO RICANS?
222
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,845
ANY LATINOS IN GENERAL?
223
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,813
ANYONE WITH
LATINO INFORMATION?
224
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,514
DR. SOLOMON,
WITH ALL
DUE RESPECT,
225
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,016
I FIND THIS
OFFENSIVE.
226
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,117
PITTMAN, YOU WON'T
BE LEFT OUT,
227
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,354
I'LL GET TO THE ASIANS.
228
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,657
WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY
SO INTERESTED IN WHAT
EVERYBODY IS?
229
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,091
I HAVE TO KNOW.
IT'S IMPORTANT.
230
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,359
YES, IT IS.
NO, IT'S NOT.
231
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,526
NO, IT'S NOT.
232
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,829
THE ONLY THING
THAT MATTERS
ABOUT A PERSON
233
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,865
IS WHAT THEY
HAVE INSIDE.
234
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,969
YEAH? THEN HOW COME
YOU ONLY DATE
GOOD-LOOKING GUYS.
235
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,771
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
236
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,072
YOU TURNED HIM DOWN.
237
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,107
SHUT UP.
238
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:10,911
HERE ARE YOUR BOOKS.
239
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,579
I READ
EACH ONE OF THEM,
240
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,683
AND I'M
JUST AS CONFUSED
AS I EVER WAS.
241
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,218
YOU READ 15 BOOKS
IN ONE NIGHT?
242
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,353
WELL, I TOOK
A COUPLE OF HOURS OUT
243
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,055
TO WATCH JAPANESE GOLF
ON CABLE.
244
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,494
THE PROBLEM IS,
THESE BOOKS ARE FULL
OF DRY FACTS,
245
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,863
BUT NO VALUE JUDGMENTS.
246
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,299
THIS IS YOUR FIELD.
YOU TELL ME.
247
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,202
OUT OF ALL THE POSSIBLE
ETHNIC GROUPS,
WHICH IS THE BEST?
248
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,137
OH, NO.
THERE'S NO BEST.
249
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,638
IT'S ALL SUBJECTIVE.
250
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,507
WHICH DO YOU FIND
THE MOST INTERESTING?
251
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,942
OH, THERE'S SO MANY.
252
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,713
I LOVE
THE CREATIVE AMBITION
OF THE MAORI PEOPLE.
253
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:50,117
UH...THE POLYNESIAN CULTURE
WITH ITS JOYOUS
EMBRACE OF NATURE.
254
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,252
UH, THE QUIET DIGNITY--
255
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,754
WHAT'S THE SEXIEST?
256
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,789
ITALIANS.
257
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,057
ITALIANS.
258
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,625
SMOKY, SWARTHY--
259
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,460
GOTTA HAVE 'EM.
260
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,696
OH. GOT TO GO.
261
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,933
ITALIANS.
262
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:17,177
* IN NAPOLI
263
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:21,715
* WHERE LOVE IS-A KING
264
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:26,987
* WHERE A BOY
MEETS A GIRL *
265
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:33,761
* HERE IS-A WHAT
THEY SING *
266
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:37,464
* WHEN THE MOON
HITS-A YOUR EYE *
267
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,532
* LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE
268
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:43,036
* THAT'S AMORE *
269
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,773
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
270
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,608
BUONA SERA, SIGNORINA.
271
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:53,013
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
272
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,448
* WHEN THE WORLD-A
SEEMS TO SHINE *
273
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,617
* LIKE-A YOU'VE HAD-A YOU
TOO MUCH WINE *
274
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:02,255
* THAT'S AMORE *
275
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,657
* BELLS WILL RING,
TING-A-TING-A-LING *
276
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,959
* TING-A-TING-A-LING
277
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:09,229
* AND YOU'LL SING VI *
278
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,633
* TA BELLA
279
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,702
* HEARTS WILL PLAY,
TIPPY-TIPPY-TAY *
280
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,770
* TIPPY-TIPPY-TAY
281
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,773
* LIKE A GAY TAR
282
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:20,540
* AN
283
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,409
* TELLA
284
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,678
[SHOUTS IN ITALIAN]
285
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,153
[MAN]
WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON OUT THERE?
286
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,989
NOTHING, MR. RATNER!
287
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,624
OH, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET OUT OF HERE
288
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,459
BEFORE SOMEBODY
CALLS THE COPS?
289
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:43,230
THE COPS,
THEY CANNOT-A
THWART MY PASSION.
290
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,297
I WILL STAND-A RIGHT HERE
291
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,533
TILL YOUR PACK
OF-A WILD DOGS
292
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,468
CHASE-A ME AWAY!
293
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,937
[DOGS BARKING]
294
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:50,603
DOGS!
295
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:51,671
RUN!
296
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,241
[CONTINUES TO PLAY
THAT'S AMORE]
297
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,177
[BARKING]
298
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,120
USUALLY WHEN A STUDENT
GETS HURT,
299
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,989
WE LET THEM
GO HOME EARLY.
300
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,091
SOMEONE FROM YOUR FAMILY
COULD COME PICK YOU UP.
301
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,793
SOMEONE LIKE...SALLY.
302
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,998
WHY DID YOU
SAY HER NAME LIKE THAT?
303
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:18,999
WHAT?
304
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,934
ALL I SAID WAS...
305
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,236
SALLY.
306
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,240
I DON'T REALLY NEED
TO GET PICKED UP.
307
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,909
EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED?
308
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,110
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I DID WRONG,
309
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,712
BUT I'M KIND OF NEW
AT BEING KOREAN.
310
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,290
OOPS.
311
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,292
YOU LEFT THIS
IN MY DRIVEWAY.
312
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,326
WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?
313
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:50,063
I BACKED OVER IT
FIVE OR SIX TIMES.
314
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,798
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
315
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,135
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
316
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,038
HOW BADLY
YOU EMBARRASSED ME
LAST NIGHT?
317
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,172
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW HARD IT IS
318
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,409
TO FIND
A CONCERTINA IN OHIO?
319
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,511
WHAT THE HELL
WAS GOING ON
IN YOUR HEAD?
320
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:08,315
I SEE. APPARENTLY,
YOU DON'T LIKE ITALIANS
AS MUCH AS YOU CLAIM.
321
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,750
SINCE WHEN
DON'T YOU
LIKE ITALIANS?
322
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,785
PLEASE, NINA,
WE'RE DISCUSSING
PREJUDICE HERE,
323
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,322
SOMETHING YOU KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT.
324
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:18,992
I'M BLACK.
325
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:19,960
OH!
326
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,028
RIGHT.
327
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,095
RIGHT.
328
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,364
"NINA IS...
329
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,066
BLACK."
330
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,209
SALLY,
COME OUT OF THERE.
331
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:36,944
GO AWAY!
332
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,079
THEN WE'RE COMING IN.
333
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,213
WHAT'S WRONG?
334
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,481
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
335
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,116
OH, SURE.
YOU CAN PUT ON
A TIGHT LITTLE DRESS
336
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,351
AND LOOK SEXY
AND GORGEOUS,
337
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,555
BUT ALL MEN CARE ABOUT
IS HOW YOU DANCE.
338
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,756
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
339
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,091
I'M AFRAID!
340
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:51,891
OF WHAT?
341
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,093
I'M AFRAID
I'LL DO SOMETHING STUPID,
342
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,462
AND HE WON'T LIKE ME.
343
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,331
DON'T LEAK.
I HATE IT
WHEN YOU LEAK.
344
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,632
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
345
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,533
I HAVE NO IDEA.
346
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,734
UH, DICK,
347
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,071
MAYBE I'M JUST
SHOOTIN' PORK
IN A BARREL HERE,
348
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,340
BUT ISN'T THAT
HOW YOU FEEL
ABOUT DR. ALBRIGHT?
349
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:08,308
OH, PLEASE.
350
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,478
THAT IS SO WRONG.
MR. RANDELL
IS YOUNG AND--
351
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,545
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
352
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,215
[ARGUING]
353
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,749
COME IN.
354
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,086
OW.
355
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,721
SORRY TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, SALLY,
YOUR DATE'S HERE.
356
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,190
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
357
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:26,059
YOU'RE GOING TO BE GREAT,
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
358
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:26,659
WHY?
359
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,995
BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE OF US.
360
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,829
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT IS YET.
361
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,465
WHEN I FIND OUT,
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL BE!
362
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,066
EVERYBODY READY?
363
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:33,666
READY.
READY.
364
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,934
LET'S GO.
365
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,804
NOW GO OUT THERE
AND BE A GIRL!
366
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,814
YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.
367
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,717
THANK YOU.
WELL...
COME ON.
368
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,219
THOSE ARE BEAUTIFUL.
369
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,424
[SLOW ROMANTIC
MUSIC PLAYS]
370
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,995
WELL...
371
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:03,296
WELL.
372
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:03,630
SO--
373
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,832
WHAT?
374
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:06,399
WOULD YOU LIKE TO--
375
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,601
BEAR YOUR CHILDREN?
376
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,407
NO. I WAS GOING
TO SAY DANCE.
377
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,676
OHH...
378
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,878
THAT WAS REALLY
EMBARRASSING, WASN'T IT?
379
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,547
NO.
380
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,315
NO, NOT AT ALL.
381
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,016
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
382
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,685
BEAR YOUR CHILDREN?
383
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,721
DANCE.
384
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,857
OH. UH...
385
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,293
WELL, SEE,
I DON'T REALLY THINK
THAT WOULD--
386
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,728
O.K.
387
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,778
AHH...
388
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,614
NOW, THIS I CAN DO.
389
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,752
I WAS KIND OF AFRAID
TO COME HERE TONIGHT.
390
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:00,920
WHY?
391
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:05,158
I JUST WASN'T SURE
I'D HAVE A GOOD TIME.
392
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,427
ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME?
393
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,962
OH, YEAH.
394
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:14,101
CAN I PUT MY ARM
AROUND YOU?
395
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:18,471
YES.
396
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:23,276
CAN I PUT MY HEAD
ON YOUR SHOULDER?
397
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,879
PLEASE.
398
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,190
CAN I PUT MY HAND
IN YOUR POCKET?
399
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,594
DO YOU NEED CHANGE?
400
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,464
DESPERATELY.
401
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,599
YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL.
402
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:50,270
MY WHOLE FRONT IS WARM.
403
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,004
DO YOU MIND
IF I TURN AROUND?
404
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,840
WELL, I--
405
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,877
MMM...
406
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,347
TOASTY.
407
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,016
I DON'T WANT TO
PUT YOU ON THE SPOT,
408
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,819
BUT IF WE DON'T
KISS SOON, MY HEAD'S
GOING TO EXPLODE.
409
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,522
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD
FOR THAT? CALCIUM.
410
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:21,768
[PLAYING THE BLUES]
411
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,771
* OH, THIS PLANET SUCKS
412
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,039
* LORD, IT MAKES ME
WANNA CRY *
413
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,345
* YEAH, I SAID
THIS PLANET SUCKS *
414
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:37,116
* LORD, IT MAKES
A POOR BOY WANNA CRY *
415
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,719
* AND IF I DIDN'T KNOW
WE WAS LEAVIN' *
416
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:43,055
* LORD, I MIGHT JUST HANG
MY HEAD DOWN AND DIE *
417
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,391
TOMMY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
418
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:47,827
WELL I'M BLACK NOW.
419
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,462
I'M BLACK,
AND I GOT THE BLUES.
420
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,864
YOU CAN'T BE BLACK,
NINA IS BLACK.
421
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:52,765
I GET THE IMPRESSION
FROM HER
422
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,235
THEY HAVE STRICT RULES
ABOUT THESE THINGS.
423
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,403
* NOW I CAN'T EVEN
BE BLACK-- *
424
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,439
TOMMY,
PUT THAT THING DOWN!
425
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,773
* THE MAN START BOSSIN'
426
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,276
* BEST BELIEVE
YOU BETTER JUMP... *
427
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,446
WAAH!
428
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,182
STOP IT! STOP IT!
429
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,618
[TURNS OFF AMPLIFIER]
430
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:15,488
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU
T-BONE WALKER?
431
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,490
MRS. DUBCEK, AS LONG AS
YOU'RE UP HERE,
432
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,392
WHAT ETHNIC GROUP
DO YOU COME FROM?
433
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,395
WELL,
I'M A LITTLE CZECH,
A LITTLE ROMANIAN.
434
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:27,066
I'M YOUR BASIC
SLAVIC MUTT, LIKE
MY THIRD HUSBAND.
435
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,100
WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST TWO?
436
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,702
WELL FIRST
WAS IRISH
437
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:33,005
AND THE SECOND
WAS ONE OF
YOUR PEOPLE.
438
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,145
OUR PEOPLE?
439
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,780
WELL,
YOU KNOW, JEWISH.
440
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,016
JEWISH!
JEWISH!
JEWISH!
441
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,257
SO,
WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF?
442
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,459
WITH YOUR NAME IT'S
PRETTY OBVIOUS.
443
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,293
OUR NAME?
444
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,160
SOLOMON.
445
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,194
[GASP]
446
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,164
OH, YOU WONDERFUL,
WONDERFUL WOMAN!
447
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,400
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
448
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:04,136
I REALLY HAVE TO GO NOW.
449
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,838
I'M STILL A MINORITY.
450
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,940
YOU KNOW,
CHICKS DIG MINORITIES.
451
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,109
WHO KNEW THAT SOLOMON
WAS A JEWISH NAME
452
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,279
WHEN WE TOOK IT
OFF THE SIDE
OF THAT TRUCK?
453
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,713
GO FIGURE.
454
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,416
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
THE WAL-MARTS.
455
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,955
[VOICE BREAKING]
WE'RE JEWISH.
456
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,592
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
457
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:28,127
MAZEL TOV!
458
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,966
I'M SORRY.
IT JUST POPPED OUT.
459
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,937
ISN'T IT GREAT
TO KNOW WHO WE ARE?
460
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,072
I FINALLY FEEL LIKE
I BELONG
461
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:44,110
IN THIS BIG MELTING POT
THEY CALL EARTH.
462
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,913
WHAT A MAGICAL NIGHT.
463
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,148
EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.
464
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,418
I WAS GREAT.
465
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,921
HE REALLY LIKED
MY KISSING.
466
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,791
EXCEPT THE SPITTING
AND BITING.
467
00:20:58,825 --> 00:20:59,926
SO YOU REALLY
LIKE HIM, HUH?
468
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,561
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?
469
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,931
HE'S INTELLIGENT,
KIND, SWEET, GENTLE.
470
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,134
SO...
471
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,202
IS HE JEWISH?
472
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:15,408
[PLAYING THEME FROM
FIDDLER ON THE ROOF]
31398
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