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This film is based on events
that occurred in Barcelona in 2015.
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00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,120
Identifying information
has been omitted
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00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,800
to protect the families
of those involved.
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00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,280
Hold on a second.
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00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,480
If we’re telling the story,
let’s do it right.
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00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,320
Tell it from the beginning,
with all the details.
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00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,280
When the media got hold of it,
they lied and exaggerated the story.
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00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,760
We suffered a lot.
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,160
Look!
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00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,640
Look how much we’ve suffered.
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00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,040
It’ll be like therapy, or atonement.
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00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,440
The truth and nothing but the truth.
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00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,120
No holds barred…
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00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,880
Subjectivity: reconstruction of events.
15
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,560
My wife is a fox.
She's stunning, gorgeous.
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00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,480
The first time I saw her in the nude
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00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,240
it was like standing
at the altar of the Virgin Mary.
18
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,959
Imagine, a woman like that,
married to me.
19
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,320
My wife is the best.
20
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:11,400
She’s rock ’n’ roll, great-looking,
funny, intelligent, bright…
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00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,240
She’s the mother of my daughters,
although she’s a mother to me too.
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00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,920
She really takes care of me.
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00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,240
And she keeps me in line!
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00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,400
She has a perfect body.
25
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,200
Her eyes, her hair, her skin,
the way she smells…
26
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,200
You should see her dance!
27
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,440
Plus she’s intelligent, funny,
smart, witty…
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00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:36,040
She’s a fucking goddess.
A goddess, she’s stunning, but...
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00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,640
She’s very good-looking,
but the only problem is that...
30
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,800
Is that...
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00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,400
Is that, you know...
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00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,840
When you open a gift,
it’s a surprise.
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00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,960
But what if you open that gift
a hundred times? A thousand?
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00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,639
No, a million times.
What do you do?
35
00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:11,200
You kiss her head
like a granddaughter,
36
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,160
squeeze her cheeks
like a baby.
37
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,440
You start using cute nicknames.
38
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,880
“Sweetie-pie,”
“Baby cakes.”
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00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,880
You see her as one of the family,
40
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,200
your sister, your cousin,
your grandma.
41
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,480
And sleeping with
one of your family...
42
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,600
That’s incest, right?
43
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,800
You get annoyed by stupid things
you never noticed before.
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00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,600
Dirty feet.
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00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:36,000
She walks round the house barefoot
and gets in bed with dirty feet.
46
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,280
The granny scarf, a raggedy sweater,
turtleneck underwear...
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00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,960
You love what's behind
the appearance.
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00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:47,080
Night cream.
On her face, all over her body.
49
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,080
It’s like sleeping with a wax doll.
50
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,960
You consider yourself a lucky guy.
51
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,840
But you know...
52
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,280
...she doesn't...
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00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,760
Fine. I’ll say it.
54
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,200
She doesn’t turn you on.
55
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,200
You love her…
but you don’t want her.
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00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,040
We were... no, we still are friends
from way back.
57
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,840
We swore an oath that went:
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00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,960
I swear by all worldly pleasures,
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00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,000
by all the vices and all the booze,
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00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,560
that we’ll always be friends,
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00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,839
no matter what happens,
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00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,600
even if it’s bad.
63
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,880
However messed up you get. Amen!
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00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,760
Amen.
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00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,280
Totally inseparable.
66
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,640
Christ! We said it all the time.
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00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,360
So we kept the oath,
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00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,760
we went to college
and we stuck together.
69
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,600
Well…
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00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,960
I was the first to get married.
71
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,120
Marcos got married, I met Nuria…
72
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,880
Marriage, work, responsibilities,
commitments…
73
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,240
That’s life, right?
74
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,400
Then we all got an invitation
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00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,760
to the student reunion
at our old high school.
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00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,760
I didn’t think twice.
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00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,120
It was a chance
to see the old gang again.
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00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,040
I had to go.
79
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,200
What’s up!?
80
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,720
They’d gotten older.
81
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,240
They were older, balder...
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00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,440
they were fatter.
83
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,960
You have to stay in shape!
84
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,520
Use skin cream,
take calcium, eat bananas.
85
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,040
So where’s Juanillo?
86
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,520
- He's not here yet.
- Must be on his way.
87
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,160
How could we weigh more
with less hair?
88
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,800
There we all were...
89
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,200
and it was so great to see them!
90
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,840
We sat down at a table
and talked like crazy.
91
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,440
Life's great, work is fantastic,
life's amazing.
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00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,560
The night flew by, we were drunk,
they closed the restaurant,
93
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,800
we didn’t know where to go and...
94
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,160
I think it was Juan.
95
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,240
I think it was Carlos.
96
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,920
I think it was Marcos.
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00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,200
I think it was David.
98
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,240
Jesus, look out, dude!
99
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,840
OK! Over here
Over here!
100
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,120
- What are you doing?
- Shut up, OK?
101
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,280
Be careful, dude!
102
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,320
- Oh shit!
- Be careful!
103
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,520
Can you keep it down a bit?
104
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,960
You’ll wake up
the whole neighborhood!
105
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,640
- Watch your balls!
- Don't you get vertigo?
106
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,640
Shut the fuck up!
107
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,160
We're in!
108
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,880
Fucking awesome!
109
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,680
We were fifteen again.
Wow. It was epic.
110
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,240
So long since I smoked a joint.
111
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,640
Good, huh? It's from my cousin.
Should I get more?
112
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,840
Yeah, sure!
113
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,080
If my wife finds out I’m toking
she’ll cut my dick off.
114
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,240
When you get home,
make love to her, you'll be fine.
115
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,960
I don’t make love anymore.
116
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,960
- So what do you do?
- I'm just a bugbear.
117
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,160
- No more wolfman!
-Yeah!
118
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,960
Pass me the joint.
Come on, man!
119
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,440
Whoa, that smell!
120
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,240
Yup, it stinks.
121
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,000
Do you guys have a lot of sex
with your wives?
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00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,720
Sure! I’m a stud.
123
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,040
- More like a dud.
- Moron.
124
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,200
But how often?
125
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,200
I dunno…
Per year? Per month?
126
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,280
Per week.
127
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,600
Not weekly, there’s no way
because of the girls.
128
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,240
But my wife and I manage,
every now and then.
129
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,800
Yeah. If we make an effort
we might do it... once.
130
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,640
Once?
131
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,680
Once.
132
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:27,920
And you, Juan?
133
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,080
More! Way more.
134
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,800
And you, Carlos?
135
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,600
I don’t know, once,
sometimes twice.
136
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,679
So you're like me, right?
137
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,120
What do you mean?
138
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,840
You never feel like
sleeping with your wives.
139
00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:45,160
- What are you talking about?
- Come on, what the fuck, man?
140
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,480
Speak for yourself!
141
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,800
OK, fine! What a pair!
142
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,200
On weeknights,
143
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,680
my mother-in-law stays over
144
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,080
to help with the girls.
145
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,160
The passion fades.
146
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,480
Passion doesn’t fade.
Passion is passion.
147
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,760
We’ve accepted this
like it’s totally normal.
148
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,640
Doesn't that worry you?
149
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,080
It really doesn't worry you?
150
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,760
It doesn't worry you?
151
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,160
Hey, David.
Man, it worries me.
152
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,720
Christ! An honest guy!
153
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,040
So what do you do?
154
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,280
I don't know.
What can I do? Nothing.
155
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,840
Some nights I don’t feel like it
and I lock myself in the bathroom.
156
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,320
I turn on the faucet,
let the water run and...
157
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,760
I wait till she falls asleep.
158
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,800
That's how it is.
159
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,480
I have a secret technique.
160
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,440
I have telekinetic sex.
161
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,520
When I’m in bed with my wife
I imagine another woman.
162
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,920
That way
I break up the monotony.
163
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,440
Using my method, I’ve had sex...
164
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,800
with Sara Carbonero, Beyoncé…
165
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,400
Even Letizia.
166
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,600
Letizia?
167
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,440
She’s skinny,
but she’s the queen!
168
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,920
Damn, we’re in bad shape.
169
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,360
Hey, no big deal, right?
170
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,840
The other night I left work stressed,
more than usual.
171
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,120
And I walked into
one of these disco bars.
172
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:39,560
There happiness, life,
people having fun, women!
173
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,560
You know, women?
174
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,720
I just took off, scared shitless,
I freaked out.
175
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,720
I got home and it was
all I could think about.
176
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,760
I needed to go out drinking,
dance, get wasted.
177
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,800
I needed you guys.
178
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,800
I needed to tomatify.
179
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,240
“Tomatify.”
180
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,880
We were married!
181
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:05,880
“Tomatify.”
182
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,360
That was our word
for going out to pick up chicks,
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00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,400
when we were kids.
184
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,160
It seemed so long ago.
185
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,000
It was super late
and we had work the next day
186
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,840
so we said good night
and went home.
187
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,680
It was so late
it was already day.
188
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,800
We all went home...
189
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,400
but something...
had changed.
190
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,280
In our heads,
there was only one thought.
191
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,800
It was insane.
192
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,200
“Tomatify.”
193
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,320
“Tomatify.”
194
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,640
We didn’t realize,
but we were opening Pandora’s box
195
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,360
and climbing inside.
196
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,960
I made a WhatsApp group
called “Tomato.”
197
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,880
“Tomato, tomato...”
198
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,240
We sent each other
300 messages a day.
199
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,200
Come on!
200
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,000
I ignored them.
201
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,880
I wanted to solve
my real problems.
202
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,800
I was totally stressed out.
203
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,160
Like an ice cube
right here in my chest.
204
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,200
So I went to see my psychiatrist.
205
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,800
He was nervous.
I prescribed Rivotril drops.
206
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,520
Rivotril, Rivofril or something.
It calmed me down a lot.
207
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,080
I recommended a center
for sexual disorders.
208
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,600
Caress therapy, learning to kiss,
to enjoy repetition,
209
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,040
the language of the hands,
the imagination as a sexual organ.
210
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,680
All those plastic couples
211
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,320
smiling at each other.
212
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,800
But I was willing to do anything.
Anything.
213
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,600
Obviously he had to go
with his wife
214
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,960
No. No way.
215
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,840
I can’t go home and tell my wife,
"I don’t want you anymore."
216
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,720
"By the way, I signed you up
for New Age caress therapy."
217
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,480
Come on!
218
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,200
You can’t tell your wife
you don’t desire her.
219
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,360
It would be like saying
you don’t like her mom, for example.
220
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,800
Or that she looks fat
in the morning.
221
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,880
Or that her sister is hot.
222
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,720
Look, how can we desire our wives
223
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,720
if we don’t desire anyone?
224
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,000
We could go out and try.
225
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,000
Right?
226
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,240
I could help us...
227
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,800
I dunno.
228
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,480
To get back what we lost.
229
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,400
“Tomatifying,”
isn’t going out to score.
230
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,800
It’s going out...
231
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,360
and maybe you score.
232
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,760
I spent the whole night thinking...
233
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,680
How could we go out and tomatify
without our wives finding out?
234
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,920
We had to play away,
as visitors.
235
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,880
A weekend just for us.
236
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,760
David had the idea of the courses.
237
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,360
I made a pack
in Photoshop.
238
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,160
So I got a marketing course,
239
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,720
put each person's company logo on it
240
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,800
and sent it to them
to print out.
241
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,400
Awesome idea.
242
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,960
The packs were crap.
243
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:32,040
They had topics, times,
subjects and the tutors' names.
244
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,800
Two pages, not much more.
245
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,320
We picked a date:
the following Friday.
246
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,760
We had to choose a city.
247
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,800
Zaragoza.
248
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,200
It was perfect.
249
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,600
It was far enough away
250
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,840
and big enough
251
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,000
that no-one
had friends or family there.
252
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,680
"Oh, Zaragoza, fairest of the fair,
253
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,840
you’ve got a crack in your ass
and it’s full of hair."
254
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,960
But what if one of our wives
calls the hotel
255
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,760
while we're out tomatifying?
256
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,120
We bought a phone and put the number
in the pack as the hotel's.
257
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,920
So if our wives called,
the machine would pick up.
258
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,160
Devious, huh?
259
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,600
Then we call our wife back
260
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,800
before they call again.
261
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680
Carlos came in,
even more nervous than usual.
262
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,600
I told him my friends' plans
263
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,680
and asked if it made sense
to cheat on our wives
264
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,240
to revive our marriages.
265
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,440
It was outrageous!
I’d never heard of anything like it.
266
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,000
I immediately asked
if I could come along.
267
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,040
I couldn’t say no.
268
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,040
My name is Benet Sáez.
269
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,400
But you can call me Dr. Sáez.
270
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,440
I've been married to my wife
271
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,800
for 27 years.
272
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,960
I want to enjoy
of every minute of my life.
273
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,000
27 years…
274
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,040
When we had our info packs,
it was time to lie.
275
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,280
Honey, I don’t want
to go to Zaragoza.
276
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,120
Zaragoza? I don’t like Zaragoza.
277
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,760
We have to do this course:
"Marketing and Sales.”
278
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,480
And... blah, blah, blah.
279
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,000
The day of the first outing
come around.
280
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,400
The hardest part of psychiatry...
281
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,760
is that people are irrational.
282
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,400
People cry when they’re happy.
283
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880
Can you think of anything
more ridiculous?
284
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,640
Their irrationality makes psychiatry
an impossible science!
285
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,000
Well anyway, there they are.
We made it.
286
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,880
Doctor! Welcome to the family.
287
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,400
- And you are?
- I'm David.
288
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,760
Marcos, what the - ?
289
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,640
What are you doing?
290
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,800
I’m scared of being recognized!
291
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,600
You look like the invisible man.
292
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,680
Leave that here! A keg?
293
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,480
Relax, leave it to me!
294
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,720
Don’t worry, I’ll sit in the middle
and put it between my legs.
295
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,320
A beer?
Stick it on your head.
296
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,440
I can’t see!
297
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,160
Get this, get this!
What if we change names?
298
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560
I'll be Marcos Banderas.
299
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,000
No, I’m Marcos.
300
00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:07,400
What’s the problem?
We can both be Marcos.
301
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,480
- Take it easy!
- OK, cut it out!
302
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,200
My wife! My wife is calling!
303
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,119
- Take the call!
- I’m answering, I’m answering!
304
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,119
I'm answering!
305
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,720
- Hi Pookie Bear.
- Pookie Bear?
306
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,680
Please! Be quiet!
307
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,040
Hello, I’m still on the bus.
308
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,240
Everybody’s asleep,
I can’t talk right now.
309
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:31,800
We’re going through a...
There’s not much cover...
310
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,200
Give the kids lots of kisses from me.
311
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,800
And a big one for you too.
312
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400
I’ll call you when I get there.
313
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,840
So are we changing names or not?
314
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,120
- If I can't be Marcos...
- Not Marcos again!
315
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,480
I’m Marcos!
316
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,760
You guys are giving me a headache!
317
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,960
Get this straight OK?
318
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,680
I’m chewing a Valium,
if anyone...?
319
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,680
What do you mean,
you don't want to?
320
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480
You're fucking kidding!
321
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,560
Hey, hey!
This is a B-side!
322
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,160
Listen to me, my old friend…
323
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,800
I don’t know if you’ll remember...
324
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,760
We never changed names.
325
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,480
Singing like crazy.
326
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,720
On the edge of right,On the edge of right...
327
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:27,000
On the edge of wrong,on the edge of wrong...
328
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:32,200
I’ll be waiting on the edgeof right and wrong.
329
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,240
Hey! No!
Motherfuckers!
330
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,480
We had the biggest
seafood feast in history.
331
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,240
OK, boys, here you go.
332
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,800
My God...
333
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,560
Olé, olé!
334
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,600
In Zaragoza. Seafood.
Barnacles, nom nom.
335
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,640
Little prawns.
Delicious.
336
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,760
Ferran is capable of anything.
337
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,080
Any kids, doctor?
338
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,240
No. We haven’t had children.
339
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,840
We’ve had several dogs,
but no kids.
340
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,080
- You couldn’t?
-No, we just didn't.
341
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,240
- By the way...
- I have two.
342
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,560
A little bird told me
your wife is very beautiful.
343
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,160
Yes, she's beautiful.
344
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,480
A total goddess...
345
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,200
She is scorching hot.
346
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,680
Yes, she's hot.
347
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,640
You didn’t bone my wife with
that telekinesis of yours, did you?
348
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,960
He boned her, her boned her!
349
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,600
He boned her!
350
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,360
And yours too!
351
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,880
You don't fuck your buddies' wives!
352
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,400
Get that into your head!
353
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,000
Hold on! You have to tell us
that secret technique of yours.
354
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,160
- No, no.
- Yes, come on...
355
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,440
OK, shut up! Be quiet!
356
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,880
OK, OK.
But keep it down, please!
357
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,240
When I have to perform with my wife,
358
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,520
I perform.
359
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,520
But you know what I do? I fake it.
360
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,400
- How do you fake it?
- The orgasm!
361
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,360
But how?
362
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:18,840
OK, listen:
363
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,720
So you’re with your wife,
you’re in bed
364
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800
and this is important:
she's face down, ass in the air.
365
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,360
so when she's in position
ass in the air,
366
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,640
you slip it in to your wife.
367
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,840
OK? Right there,
like a colossus. Inside.
368
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,880
And you start gradually,
that's the way.
369
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,200
Without losing contact.
370
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,120
Nice and slow, no hurry.
371
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,080
Then you change it up.
372
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,240
Change it up.
And then...
373
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,440
Right cheek, left cheek
right cheek, left cheek.
374
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,920
You start to play
with those things.
375
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,840
You change the rhythm.
376
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,600
You're there, giving it all you got,
and you go...
377
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:15,040
There comes a point,
I'm in there, really tight...
378
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,080
You're like a battering ram.
379
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,480
You’re Attila! You're Attila!.
380
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,360
The grass will never grow back!
381
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,880
You slap that ass!
382
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,000
Finally you're like...
383
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,560
Go on, cum!
384
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,720
That's it.
Bin the condom.
385
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,160
Oh please.
386
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,960
I find it all really stressful.
387
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,040
Anyway, we ate
and drank like wild beasts.
388
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,800
We got a little bit
side-tracked that night.
389
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,720
That’s not a kebab,
you know what it is? A dürüm.
390
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,240
- It’s a real dürüm.
- It's called a dürüm.
391
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,520
Dürüm!
392
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,280
From now on
I’ll call you bean sprout.
393
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,960
Look, I’ll do it with yours,
with mine it’s gross.
394
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,760
OK, what's this?
395
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,320
An Eskimo jerking off.
396
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,240
An Eskimo!
397
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,840
What does a wife say to her husband
398
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,920
after giving him a blow job?
399
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,320
What does she say?
400
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,760
I love you.
401
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,800
Oh man, please!
402
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,880
What do you want me to do?
She works, I work every day.
403
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,440
Put a little humor in your life!
A little spice.
404
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,080
Fuck, I can't believe
I'm the one saying this!
405
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,680
- You have no shame.
- Carlitos! Carlitos!
406
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,840
Carlitos!
I’m proud of you for saying that.
407
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,160
- Carlitos!
-Why do you think I'm here?
408
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:03,840
I love you.
409
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,960
And you know what?
410
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,360
I love you too,
even though you’re a pussy.
411
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,920
- Me too.
- For Christ's sake.
412
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,680
Don't get mad,
I love you too.
413
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,280
Guys, I can’t take any more.
414
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,440
- What time is it?
- Midnight.
415
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,200
We were scared of hooking up.
416
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,280
We ate too much.
417
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,320
Juan said he'd take us somewhere
he'd been recommended.
418
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,840
A quiet spot, with music
and a young crowd...
419
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,680
Night owl, night owl...
420
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,680
My wife is so delighted, I’m a night owl!
421
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,840
I'm a night owl!
422
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:53,400
A night owl!
423
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,440
We'd forgotten
the point of the trip.
424
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,760
We took a taxi
and the adventure began.
425
00:23:59,000 --> 00:23:59,840
No excuses.
426
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,880
Time to tomatify.
427
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880
Kill or be killed.
428
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,880
It was about being young again.
429
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,520
Adolescence never ends,
you just give up on it.
430
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,640
- Here's to tomatifying!
- Tomatifying!
431
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,920
Holy shit! Holy shit!
432
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,560
We were so pathetic,
acting like teenagers…
433
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,200
You’re old!
434
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,280
Excuse me, Miss,
would you like me to buy you a drink?
435
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:09,840
Pappy...How can I put this?
436
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,640
You're old!
437
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,600
Babe, let me buy you a drink.
438
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,800
Come on! We’re all going to score.
We gotta get psyched!
439
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,120
It says here, we’re the prize!
440
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,640
Hook-up tricks. I memorize them.
441
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,160
Women don't scare me.
442
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,680
Juan! You brought a book to score?
443
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,360
It’s OK, guys, we’ll call a taxi
and go somewhere else.
444
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,760
- It’s five in the morning.
- A taxi?
445
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,760
We were puppets without strings,
scarecrows with dicks...
446
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,480
Night trash.
447
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,480
Here’s what I do
with five in the morning.
448
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,760
Carlos, look.
449
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,520
It was the Titanic.
450
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,320
Luckily I have some experience.
451
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,040
I’d prepared a little help,
an insignificant placebo.
452
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,000
We will not sleep alone tonight.
453
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,320
We will not sleep alone tonight, doctor.
454
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,960
No, I don’t do drugs.
455
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,680
It’s not a drug,
it’s medication, with a prescription.
456
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,720
We will not sleep alone.
457
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,320
We won't sleep alone tonight.
458
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,400
We will not sleep alone.
459
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,840
I’m your doctor,
they won’t hurt you.
460
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,960
Carlitos…
461
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,200
- No, no…
- Carlitos.
462
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,520
No calling me Carlitos.
463
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,480
Carlitos…
464
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,960
No calling me Carlitos.
465
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,320
We will not sleep alone tonight.
466
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,480
We will not sleep alone!
467
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,800
I have no idea what we took.
468
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,920
I had a blast.
Why lie?
469
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,880
I don’t know how,
but we ended up at the hotel.
470
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,040
Turn round.
471
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,680
I swear by all worldly pleasures,
all the vices and all the booze…
472
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,080
I swear by all worldly pleasures,
all the vices and all the booze…
473
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,160
that we’ll always be friends
474
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,440
no matter what happens
475
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,160
...even if it’s bad.
476
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,800
Amen!
477
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,200
You OK, kid?
478
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,760
I'm just happy...
479
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,400
The fact is, methamphetamine
is a little deceptive.
480
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,920
When you think it's wearing off...
481
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,520
Fire, fire!
482
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,240
No fire! There’s no fire!
483
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,400
We overdid it with the drugs...
484
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,040
Carlos, dude,
Carlos, wake up…
485
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,920
It’s Juan…
He’s not moving…
486
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:23,800
Dude…
487
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,720
He’s dead, no doubt about it.
488
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,400
What?
489
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:32,880
Go fuck yourselves,
490
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,160
he’s got a boner.
491
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,800
Rigor mortis!
492
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,320
Rigor mortis…
493
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,520
He’s dead, OK?
494
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,240
Gonna call an ambulance….
495
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,640
- What are you doing?
- An ambulance!
496
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,440
You killed him!
497
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,360
You killed him!
498
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,520
Silence!
499
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,360
If you call an ambulance,
they take him,
500
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,320
his wife finds out
he wasn't on a course,
501
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,120
- and they’ll rumble him.
- And rumble us too.
502
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,600
Because his wife
is friends with your wife,
503
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,320
who's friends with your wife,
who's friends with my wife!
504
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,000
- Very dangerous.
- What do we do?
505
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,400
Take off the robe!
506
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,080
Lift his leg first!
507
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,600
Stop, stop, stop!
508
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,600
This is…
509
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,800
This is horrible.
510
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,680
You motherfuckers!
Fuck every single one of you, assholes!
511
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:24,640
Who put me in here?
512
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,880
I'm claustrophobic!
You put me in the trunk!
513
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,320
And who dressed me up
like the fat bad guy in Ghandi?
514
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,440
Jesus fucking Christ.
Fuck every single one of you.
515
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,760
I’ve had it up to here
with this place, fuck this!
516
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,120
- Juan!
- Fuck you all, and your mothers!
517
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,760
Well, maybe he wasn’t dead.
That’s another option.
518
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,760
Hangover…
519
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:06,640
A killer…
520
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:15,760
This isn’t tomatifying.
521
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,720
To tomatify 100%
you have to hook up.
522
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,840
Bunch of morons.
523
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,520
Silence, please. Silence.
524
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,080
Please, make this hell stop.
525
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,680
It’s your wife,
calling the hotel phone.
526
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,040
What do I do?
527
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,640
Call her in 5 minutes from your cell.
528
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,400
I don’t get it.
529
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,000
She called the number
from the info pack.
530
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,600
She’ll get the machine.
You just play dumb, that's all.
531
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,040
That’s right.
532
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,560
Wait a second.
You’re going to call with that voice?
533
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,520
It’s my wife. What do I do?
534
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,320
Whatever, just answer it.
535
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,400
The first time in 5 years
I haven’t picked up.
536
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,040
Oh God...
537
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,160
Please, just answer it.
538
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,760
What do I do?
539
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,480
Answer it, please,
for the love of Christ.
540
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,200
Say you’re in class,
whisper, say you’re in class!
541
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,720
Hi, Pookie Bear. How are you?
542
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,760
Yeah, I’m in the middle of a class.
543
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,960
I can’t talk right now.
I’ll call you later, OK?
544
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,560
What?
545
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,760
Yes, of course
I care about your mother...
546
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,040
Just a second...
547
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,560
Jesus…
548
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,480
Yeah, yeah.
But I’m in class.
549
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,520
I’ll call you when it’s over.
Big kiss.
550
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,719
- You OK?
- No.
551
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,239
- Did she get mad?
- I dunno, I guess.
552
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,440
Turn off the fucking phones.
553
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,800
In terms of scoring...
554
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,400
No. We didn’t get to first base.
555
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,760
Whoa. Total failure.
556
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,239
My clothes were filthy.
I nearly got caught.
557
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,080
I had to put on a wash.
In secret.
558
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,920
It wasn’t what you’d call a success…
559
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,520
We were too old to be fooling around.
560
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,840
I decided to forget it all,
just drop it...
561
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800
You couldn’t say we didn’t try.
562
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,160
…and go back to therapy,
there was no other choice.
563
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,960
We had to go on with our lives,
that was the truth.
564
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,200
I told myself it could work.
It had to work.
565
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,720
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
566
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,760
Most of all,
we had to learn to score.
567
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,920
Want me to show you
where it all happened?
568
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,360
Yeah? Really? Let’s go.
569
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,800
Come on.
570
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,680
Ready? We needed somewhere to meet,
571
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,360
where we could be free,
where we could be ourselves.
572
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,000
I had just the place.
573
00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:53,120
We’re on the outskirts of Barcelona,
impossible to find without GPS.
574
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,400
This is where the plan
entered the next phase.
575
00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,560
The gym.
576
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,480
You could tell you wife
you were going to the gym
577
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,880
without feeling guilty,
'cause it was true:
578
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,880
it was a gym.
579
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,960
Not that way, this way.
580
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,120
We went in the back door
so as not to attract attention.
581
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,000
Come in.
582
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,800
The only difference was
instead of doing a few reps,
583
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,800
you had a few drinks!
584
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,520
That’s when someone said the word...
585
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,000
“Club”!
586
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,600
We had a place to meet
and we hired the author of the book.
587
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,760
It cost a fortune.
But it was the ultimate investment.
588
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,480
Hi, I’m Juan Ruiz.
589
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,200
Everybody knows me as...
“The Teacher.”
590
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,040
I’ll tell you a story:
I was 14 and I was ugly.
591
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:55,120
I had huge ears, pimples...
592
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,080
When I was 21
and I had never kissed a woman.
593
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,760
I decided to change
and that’s up to you.
594
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,840
He convinced us all right away.
595
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,480
I went to the U.S.A.
and learned from the best.
596
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,480
I became a... “self-made man.”
597
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,680
My first impression was...
598
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,560
this punk is going to teach me
to pick up chicks? Me?
599
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200
Dandruff, fingernails, pimples...
600
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,480
They looked like blocked men,
and women don't want that.
601
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,480
The first thing I told them was
602
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,240
“unblock yourself.”
603
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,120
Bam! He was the master,
he was always on target.
604
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,120
I gave them classes,
605
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,680
but it was such an extreme case
of unmanliness
606
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,680
I decided
it was time for action.
607
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,080
We weren’t sure
where to go out next.
608
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,000
I wanted to find the best place
for scoring in Spain.
609
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,000
They called it the “S Factor.”
610
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,000
We compared data
from every city.
611
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,280
Number of female inhabitants,
single girls, couples,
612
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,320
infidelity statistics,
sales in sex shops, everything.
613
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,960
And ahead of Madrid,
Marbella, Ibiza...
614
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,840
Lleida.
615
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,120
I told my cousin Jordi.
616
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,840
Hi, I'm Jordi. I’m 30,
617
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,520
and I work
making photo depilation needles.
618
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,920
Naturally… he wanted to come.
619
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,000
I don’t have a girlfriend
and I’ve never had one.
620
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,280
Well, only David knows this.
My cousin
621
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,040
I hid it from the guys
in the club because…
622
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,840
I wanted them to accept me.
623
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,800
There were too many for the car,
so we rented a minivan.
624
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,760
On the edge of right...
625
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,600
On the edge of right!
626
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,200
What are you doing?
627
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,760
I didn’t want them to score
in the usual places, like a pub
628
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,240
a club, a disco full of teenagers...
629
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,440
No. I did my research
and I put them in a hotel
630
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,040
where there was
a hair and make-up convention.
631
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,400
Who did that?
632
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,200
“The Teacher.”
633
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,920
The teacher was a little weird.
634
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,720
He kept speaking in English,
635
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,520
but you could tell
he was from Jaén.
636
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,600
Stop now!
637
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,960
OK, this is important.
638
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,280
The honor code.
639
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,200
The honor code?
640
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,840
Women don’t scare me. Repeat.
641
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,440
Women don’t scare me.
642
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,920
Motherfucker up shit!
What's the biggest seduction mistake?
643
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,680
Being trigger-happy.
644
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:27,600
Trigger-happy?
645
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,360
Fear, because when you’re afraid
you feel inferior.
646
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,720
- Guys, we studied this.
- Yeah, right.
647
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,800
What does a woman want?
A brave man.
648
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:37,480
Women don’t scare me.
649
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,400
Women don’t scare me.
650
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,120
Women don’t scare me.
651
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,160
Women don’t scare me.
652
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,360
Are we men or aren't we?
Women don’t scare me!
653
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,920
Women don’t scare me!
654
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,240
We crashed some kind of seminar.
655
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,360
A make-up artist convention.
656
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,480
The logic is so devastating.
It’s genius.
657
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,520
My students were put to the test.
658
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200
They were going to be soldiers
of Venus.
659
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,720
It was crawling with women.
660
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,520
I mean, crawling with women!
661
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,560
We could have died.
662
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,880
I taught them one of my favorite rules:
663
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,840
the Three Second Rule.
664
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,120
You make eye contact
with a woman, you're ready to talk.
665
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,440
You clench your fists,
you count “one, two, three”...
666
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,320
You talk to her.
667
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:40,880
If you delay,
668
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,400
you're a Peeping Tom
and women want decisiveness,
669
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,240
a man who knows what he wants.
670
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,560
Hey, gorgeous. Having a good night?
671
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,520
Great. I'm here with my partner.
672
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,280
One. Two. Three.
673
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,720
Go.
674
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:04,960
Hi.
675
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,520
Hi.
676
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,000
Are you guys with a company?
677
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,440
- We make face cream.
- "Creamsinc".
678
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,480
What brand?
679
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,480
Creams Inc. "Creamsinc."
680
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:32,720
- If I’m bothering you, just say.
- No, it's fine. Great.
681
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,320
What a pleasure.
This is... great.
682
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:36,840
- Hi!
- Hi!
683
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,400
Having a good time?
684
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,600
Yes, we were just about
to order a drink.
685
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,080
Oh really!
686
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,760
Let's get that drink.
687
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,280
Some people fail
and pull out of the game, but no.
688
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,480
When you fail, you’re learning.
689
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,040
You son of a bitch,
"Creamsinc"?
690
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,520
I'm sorry, I couldn’t help it,
I swear.
691
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,680
- What are you doing?
- I'm growing,
692
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,960
Every failure helps me grow.
693
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,040
I’m learning! I’m learning, dammit!
694
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,120
Godammit, I'm learning!
695
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,240
I love you!
696
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,320
To attack a girl,
never attack head on,
697
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,720
without an escape route.
698
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,800
Use the crab technique.
699
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,200
The Crab.
700
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,200
Approach her as if you’re leaving,
701
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,600
like it was nothing.
702
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,000
Your feet never point at the target.
703
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,280
Hi... you’re a very pretty girl.
704
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,120
If the target ignores you,
705
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,600
radically change tack.
706
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,000
And keep acting
like nothing is happening.
707
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,720
I got distracted,
Iooking the other way. Hey!
708
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,840
It's an ancient technique.
709
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,920
You approach without being seen,
710
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
it’s part of the magic of seduction.
711
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,440
Don’t look desperate.
712
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,840
Don’t show your hunger,
713
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,080
don't show you're out to score.
714
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,760
Did you want anything?
715
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,560
Should I want something?
716
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,880
You have to ask questions.
717
00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:08,960
We all like talking about ourselves.
718
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,280
Ask and listen, ask and listen.
719
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,160
You swap ideas
with colleagues...
720
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,600
And you’re here for…?
721
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,800
-...the make-up.
-Of course!
722
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:23,160
- Me too
- You too?
723
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,240
- You work in make-up?
724
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,160
- Eyelashes.
725
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,480
So, women...
The principle of...
726
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,000
Oh fuck, I messed up...
727
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,000
Ask, ask, ask.
728
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,680
You’re not from here, right?
729
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,960
What’s the objective?
730
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,720
To find that person’s hidden dream.
731
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:45,920
What I want most?
732
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,720
- Most in the world.
- What a question!
733
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,840
What a question...
734
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:50,880
What do you like most?
735
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,840
Do you know?
736
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,920
More or less, I’m looking!
737
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,720
Well me too!
738
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,360
We're looking for
the same thing, right?
739
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,840
Nice, something in common!
740
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,440
My real passion is singing.
741
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,600
How about singing something for me?
742
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,200
I love sculpting with clay.
743
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,120
How wonderful!
744
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,000
And suddenly, being yourselves,
745
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,920
and finding their hidden dream...
746
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,480
More, a little more.
747
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,320
Without realizing,
it's endless seduction.
748
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,400
- Hi.
- Hi.
749
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:07,440
It's the most difficult part
of the night.
750
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,240
The kiss.
751
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,720
I should be going.
752
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,720
Never ask for a kiss.
That’s for clowns.
753
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,560
There’s a foolproof trick,
which is to look into her eyes
754
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,080
and tell her...
755
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,280
I’m going to kiss you.
756
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,160
Count to three in your head.
757
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,040
Move closer...
758
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,680
Kiss her gently.
759
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:56,920
I was kissing her.
760
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,120
I picked up a foreign girl,
it was the best night of my life.
761
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,520
It was incredible.
762
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,080
Foreign chicks,
hard dicks. I dunno.
763
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,040
Oh my God! I was so proud of them...
764
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:11,160
He unblocked us.
765
00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:12,640
Almost everyone.
766
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,960
Juan wanted to score so badly,
but he was so bad at it.
767
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,280
It’s like I’m stuck
at a castrated developmental stage
768
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,960
and somehow I can’t...
finish the job.
769
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,720
Charly didn't want
to hook up.
770
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,520
He wouldn’t or he couldn’t.
771
00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:32,760
His head was in a mess,
772
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,520
and to score
you have to free your mind,
773
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,680
because you have to trust yourself.
774
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,120
Give me a close-up
on the next line, please.
775
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,040
Closer, the eyes, the eyes.
776
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,600
"Trust yourself."
777
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,000
Being unfaithful... is really weird.
778
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,560
Worse than
punching your dad.
779
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,360
But suddenly you get home
780
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,320
and you see your wife
in a new light.
781
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,440
When you compare your wife
to a fantasy, the fantasy wins
782
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,320
because it’s perfect.
783
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,760
But when the fantasy becomes reality,
it’s not so fantastic:
784
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,280
your wife is fantastic.
785
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,160
It was like taking your head
out of the water and saying, "Damn!"
786
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,240
I can breathe so much better.
787
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,160
The desire was back.
I called it...
788
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,320
“The Force.”
789
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,800
You feed your ego.
790
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,800
Someone finds you attractive.
791
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,200
You dared to have an adventure.
792
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,520
Money attracts money,
sex attracts sex.
793
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,040
It worked.
794
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,920
It worked like a charm.
795
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,400
I made love to my wife.
796
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,880
No faking, it was real.
797
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,600
We were getting
in so much shit.
798
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,720
I didn’t want to go out with them.
799
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,760
They were troublemakers
and I had enough trouble already.
800
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,160
Christians invented guilt,
with all the cross business.
801
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,840
I came home with the cross,
the nails and the crown of thorns.
802
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,880
Yes! How could I not feel guilty?
Of course I felt guilty.
803
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,240
Of course I felt guilty!
What am I, an animal? Sure I did!
804
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,840
I saw my wife and I felt bad,
but that’s the price you pay, right?
805
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,800
Don’t ask again,
that's all I'm saying.
806
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:11,400
Hands off!
807
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,040
That cost money!
For God's sake...
808
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,520
I said to hell with it, it’s finished.
809
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600
Why obsess over it?
I didn’t want to cheat on her.
810
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,320
Besides, sex isn’t that important
for a couple.
811
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,440
That was the best part,
we decided to go big.
812
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,640
The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club.
813
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:38,080
“Nice” because we were doing it
for a good cause:
814
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,640
to save our marriages.
815
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,880
Well, it made sense at the time.
816
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,120
We soon realized the power
of the force wouldn’t last.
817
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:55,960
That was a problem.
818
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,040
It would be the most perfect club
in the world.
819
00:48:59,120 --> 00:48:59,960
Invest in R&D.
820
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,360
Learn from our mistakes.
821
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,800
We started sending
encrypted emails, written with symbols
822
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,640
so when you change the font:
Presto! The message appeared.
823
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,600
Encrypted messages?
They were like goddam Boy Scouts.
824
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,520
The lockers were here.
825
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,240
We’d leave our briefcases,
and rings, very important.
826
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,800
We had the machines here,
for washing clothes,
827
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,800
so we didn’t go home
smelling of booze.
828
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,160
But the best thing was this:
829
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:27,440
the foosball table was here.
830
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,400
Everybody wanted to join,
so we accepted new members.
831
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,480
My name is Javier and I’m 8.
832
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,960
My name is Abel and I’m 10.
833
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:35,840
I’m 2.
834
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,760
4 months.
835
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,680
10 years.
836
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:38,560
39 years.
837
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,720
45 years.
838
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:40,640
5 years.
839
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:41,560
2 months.
840
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,560
Your age in the club
is how long you’ve been married.
841
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,640
We set up a small switchboard.
842
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,520
Dancing classes.
843
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,600
Merengue, bachata,
cha-cha-cha, tango...
844
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,440
We bought a computer, printers,
one of those binding machines...
845
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,520
We made up custom courses
for each of us.
846
00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,920
Some members
prepared nights out,
847
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,800
others found the conventions
with most women.
848
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,800
I handled psychological issues.
849
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,440
Some got depressed at first,
or became euphoric.
850
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,280
I was in charge
of creating good vibes.
851
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,800
There was even a team
who bought gifts and wrapped them
852
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,600
so when we went home
853
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,560
we could give our wives a gift
from the place we’d supposedly been.
854
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,920
I handled alcohol and drugs,
of course. I’m a psychiatrist.
855
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,880
We were like one big family.
856
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,600
I created a website
857
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:28,960
The Jewelry Club dot com.
858
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:32,360
Click the ring, enter your password
and you’re in the club.
859
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,960
You could check anything
you wanted, chat with members,
860
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,960
and an exit button,
if you got caught!
861
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,800
Straight back to the jewelry.
862
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:43,480
We had our married life
and our player life. We had it all.
863
00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:45,880
It wasn’t just about women.
864
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,160
We had friends,
we had adventures,
865
00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:54,560
we had got back...
that zest for life.
866
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,320
Check out this awesome pic.
867
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,640
My cousin Jordi, Marcos.
868
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,400
That’s me goofing off.
869
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,720
Juan, the doctor...
870
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,400
What a sign up!
The doctor, damn.
871
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,480
We went out once a month,
never to the same place.
872
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,960
We followed
David’s selection criteria..
873
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,040
And somehow we reached
our tenth night out.
874
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,640
We had to celebrate in style.
875
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,320
Picking a destination was easy.
876
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,360
Obviously... Lleida.
877
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,800
What’s in Lleida? Nothing.
878
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160
So people just fuck, fuck, fuck.
879
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,920
All day long, wham, bam,
thank you, ma’am.
880
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,240
Boo-ya, boo-ya! I love it.
881
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,280
They kept calling me,
sending emails...
882
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,200
I wanted to share it,
I wanted him to see what we'd built.
883
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,680
He was there from the beginning.
884
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,200
I told David I was really happy
with my wife.
885
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,800
He was lying his ass off.
886
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,560
And that I would never, ever go back,
887
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,280
never-ever-ever,
nothing they could do.
888
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,880
- So did you go?
- Yes, in the end I did.
889
00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:53,760
- Viagra.
- Viagra.
890
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:05,560
Unbelievable.
891
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,440
Maybe there were too many of us.
892
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,080
Tomatify!
893
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,200
Tomatify!
894
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,520
We were on fire,
we went all out.
895
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,440
Who's read the Jack London novel,
"The Call of the Wild"?
896
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,480
It's about a dog named Buck
897
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,720
who was led to believe
he was a tame house dog.
898
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,800
But he wasn’t, not really.
899
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:32,320
No, doctor.
He was really... a wolf.
900
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,320
There are five rules
in this club.
901
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,440
Five rules.
902
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,200
You have to memorize them all,
OK? Right.
903
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,520
The first rule is...
904
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,600
This is important, OK?
905
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,120
First rule of the club, first rule:
906
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,440
We only accept married men.
907
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,120
Second club rule:
908
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,520
No hooking up outside the club.
909
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:09,760
No, never!
910
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,800
Third club rule:
911
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,800
Falling in love with other women
is not allowed.
912
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,440
Never! No!
913
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,520
Fourth club rule:
914
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,520
We don't pay for sex.
915
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,400
We’re not killers!
We’re hunters.
916
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,600
And the fifth and most important:
917
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,800
None of you are here.
Not even Carlos is here. The club…
918
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:36,560
does not exist.
919
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,040
Let’s go!
920
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,320
Start the bus, Antonio.
Start it up, we’re on our way!
921
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,200
Tomatify!
922
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,120
Carlos and Juan were
our unfinished business.
923
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,240
They needed help.
924
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,920
They were all watching me,
925
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,920
as if my success was their success.
926
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,840
Tonight's the night.
927
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:22,560
See that, Carlitos?
928
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,160
Did you see that?
929
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,280
Doesn’t it give you butterflies
in your stomach?
930
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,240
Give me some space, OK?
931
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,440
Hey, Carlos.
932
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,360
There’s Carlos!
933
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,040
It's wall-to-wall pussy!
934
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,480
- I'm not upset.
- Who are you mad at?
935
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,440
- No-one.
- What is it?
936
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,440
- Nothing!
- What's wrong, you can tell me!
937
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,280
Hi, how’s it going?
938
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:15,120
Oh wow, pussy.
939
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,920
Cheers!
940
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,480
I like it, I like it.
941
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:36,440
What the hell are you doing?
942
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,640
What?
943
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,640
What do you mean, what?
944
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,400
Juan having a ball!
He's right there....
945
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,240
He's there!
946
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:45,880
He's up there!
947
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,040
Don’t touch me, David,
don’t touch me, damn it.
948
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:49,360
Just a little push.
949
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,640
It's just a push.
950
00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:51,720
Are they hookers?
951
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,840
Well... No!
952
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,960
They’re hookers...
953
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,360
They're ladies of the night.
954
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,560
They’re just...
955
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,960
What the fuck were the rules for?
956
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,480
What was the fucking point?
957
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,240
They weren’t rules, they were... advice.
958
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,360
Tonight we “tomatify”
and scorify!
959
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:18,280
No. Not mine.
Mine wasn’t a prostitute.
960
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,360
Poor Juan.
961
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,000
He really thought he had scored.
962
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:27,800
Was she a prostitute?
963
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,000
I don’t think it’s so bad.
964
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,440
I realized I’d made
another mistake.
965
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,320
I said to hell
with it all, and left.
966
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,240
But first, I look to my right
and see Marcos
967
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,880
sucking some chick’s face,
968
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,600
the same chick he met
our first time in Lleida.
969
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,120
Yeah, we knew, but....
970
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,840
He looked so in love...
971
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,800
No, I wasn't in love at all.
972
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:55,440
Not yet.
973
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,360
Falling in love wasn’t allowed?
974
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,960
I had no idea.
975
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,920
I didn’t know that rule.
976
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,320
There was only one rule really:
the club doesn’t exist.
977
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,960
On the way back to the hotel
I felt sad, lonely, stressed...
978
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,240
things were bad with Silvia,
the club wasn’t for me, I was screwed.
979
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,880
So I went to the cocktail bar at the hotel
980
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,480
on the verge of a breakdown.
981
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,000
A glass of water, please.
982
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:29,000
The pain in my chest was unbearable.
And suddenly...
983
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:30,560
Isn’t that too much?
984
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,760
No, it’s normal,
it’s what my doctor recommends.
985
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,160
Breathe, breathe!
986
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,920
I’ve got it, I’ve got it.
Are you OK?
987
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Yeah, thanks, thanks.
988
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:49,160
You’re in a bad way.
989
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:50,680
You're not OK.
990
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000
I just need to...
991
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,600
And we just started talking.
992
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,120
I took the teacher’s advice:
I listened.
993
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,000
and I really liked her.
994
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:06,520
She was gorgeous.
And I hadn’t felt anything in so long...
995
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,200
And then I started feeling
996
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,000
this overwhelming urge to kiss her.
997
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,080
And a part of me was saying:
“Kiss her.”
998
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,320
"Come on,
for Christ's sake, kiss her!"
999
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:19,240
It was insane.
1000
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,160
She invited me up to her room.
1001
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,440
And... I couldn’t say no.
1002
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:31,280
Hey, it’s much later than I thought.
1003
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,160
- I think I should...
- It's late, come in.
1004
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,960
Does room service have Rivotril?
1005
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:35,760
I’m sure they do.
1006
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,880
We reached the door,
she took out her card,
1007
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,560
opened the door,
1008
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,960
I said I should go,
but she pulled me inside.
1009
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,760
She let her hair down
and tried to kiss me...
1010
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:48,200
I told her I couldn’t, and left.
1011
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:45,760
I came away feeling bad.
1012
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,920
I had a good time but I felt bad.
1013
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,920
We saw him leaving
someone else’s room, we’d done it.
1014
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,360
He was in a state of shock.
1015
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,240
I gave him 2 Rohypnols
but he wouldn't take them.
1016
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,000
We were all happy for him.
1017
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,120
We got to Barcelona,
I said goodbye to my friends.
1018
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,480
I didn’t want to tell them anything,
and suddenly...
1019
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:34,960
I felt like…
1020
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,240
...like...
1021
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:39,520
“The force.”
1022
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:40,320
The ego.
1023
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:41,760
Alternating current.
1024
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:45,520
Like shit.
1025
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:49,360
I got home,
Silvia was asleep.
1026
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,080
She looked like an angel...
1027
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,040
And I had the feeling of
having a sign saying:
1028
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,800
I have been unfaithful to you.
1029
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,040
I was at home when it happened.
1030
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:01,280
The shit storm began.
1031
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,480
Right when I was about
to get in bed...
1032
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:07,560
Boom, my phone rings.
1033
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:09,040
It was David.
1034
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:11,320
I used club invoices
as a tax deduction.
1035
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,160
That cost us dearly.
1036
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,600
A hotel sent a bill to my house
and my wife gets suspicious
1037
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:18,600
checks my wallet,
my clothes...
1038
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,680
finds nothing
goes down to the car.
1039
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,840
She checks the addresses on the GPS
and there's one she doesn’t know.
1040
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,640
He called me in a panic
saying his wife was heading to the club.
1041
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,040
We had to stop her.
1042
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,160
Juan checks the map,
Carlos lived closest.
1043
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,560
I felt like crying,
I wanted to kill them.
1044
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:37,840
He had to leave immediately.
1045
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,920
I told Silvia my boss was locked
in the office and I ran.
1046
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:43,600
His wife took the coast road.
1047
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,280
He had to go via the center
1048
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,840
take exit 7,
and he'd gain 5 minutes.
1049
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:52,320
Finally I got into the club.
I threw everything out the window:
1050
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,040
the packs, the printers,
the photos from the trips.
1051
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,720
Here in the sun visor.
1052
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,400
That’s how my wife found the keys.
1053
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,240
In one room I hid the foosball,
the plasma screen, the videogames.
1054
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,720
My wife got here, tried the door,
it opened and she walked in.
1055
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:08,680
I heard someone come in.
1056
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,760
I was calling her but
she wouldn’t pick up.
1057
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:11,720
I went like this.
1058
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:16,640
And I hid under the table,
like a cockroach.
1059
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,440
Carlos was hiding in there.
1060
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,720
Suddenly I see her
looking in the wastebaskets
1061
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,120
getting closer to this one.
1062
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,280
My wife was getting closer
to where Carlos was hiding.
1063
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,480
Like Jaws, you know?
1064
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:31,320
She would see me!
1065
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:34,320
I was about to die.
1066
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,040
She looks in the basket.
1067
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,680
And at that moment…
1068
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,320
She looks in the basket…
1069
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:41,760
Her phone rings.
1070
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:44,520
And it was David.
1071
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:45,840
That was it.
1072
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,240
We could have died…
1073
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:50,720
She apologized.
1074
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,560
She hung up, started crying
1075
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,120
...and she left.
1076
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:07,720
So I got home,
1077
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:09,960
Silvia was asleep.
1078
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:17,960
I wanted to hug her so much.
I was so scared of losing her.
1079
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,920
So I started stroking her
1080
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,680
and I noticed she was uncomfortable,
it wasn’t working.
1081
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:27,920
And at that moment,
1082
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,800
I realized
she knew everything.
1083
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,560
She said she was tired,
she needed to sleep…
1084
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,960
and it took me hours
to get to sleep
1085
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,480
and next day
when I opened my eyes
1086
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,480
I found her sitting
on the edge of the bed.
1087
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,680
And, feeling terrified,
1088
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,440
I asked her what was wrong.
1089
01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,000
Then she turned away.
1090
01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:01,960
She couldn’t even
look me in the face.
1091
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:05,320
She said she had to talk and …
1092
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:08,480
and she said...
1093
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,920
She said she’d been cheating on me
for 3 months.
1094
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,920
Carlos called,
he had something important to tell me.
1095
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,120
I couldn't understand it.
1096
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,360
I was cheating on her,
not her on me.
1097
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,680
I was so jealous,
1098
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,480
but I couldn’t be mad at her
1099
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,080
because I was cheating on her.
1100
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:32,640
But I was very pissed off.
1101
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,160
I went to see David
because I had to talk.
1102
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:39,360
David gave me this weird address
I’d never been to in my life.
1103
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:45,160
Password.
1104
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:46,640
What?
1105
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:47,680
Password.
1106
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:52,160
Come on.
1107
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:55,560
Come in, Carlitos, it’s a joke.
The club doesn’t exist. Come on.
1108
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:57,640
Come in man, come in.
1109
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:28,920
David?
1110
01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,080
Bravo!
1111
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,200
Carlitos, I love you.
1112
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:55,520
OK, OK!
1113
01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:57,480
OK.
1114
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,600
It's good manners
to say thank you, right Carlos?
1115
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,320
All the members of the club
1116
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:05,000
want to thank you
for what you did last night.
1117
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,240
Your courage saved the club!
1118
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,720
OK, OK.
1119
01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:21,000
We’ve decided to give you
a year's free membership, and...
1120
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:24,520
a commemorative medal:
Honorary Member of the Club.
1121
01:08:28,399 --> 01:08:30,760
Speech, speech!
1122
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,359
No speeches, no speeches.
1123
01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,840
Carlos has always been
a man of few words.
1124
01:08:41,359 --> 01:08:44,479
OK, alright. I'll speak.
1125
01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:50,880
I...
1126
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,479
can't....
1127
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:56,880
I can't accept this medal.
1128
01:08:57,319 --> 01:08:59,279
- But thank you.
- Carlos...
1129
01:08:59,399 --> 01:09:01,399
Look, David.
I told you I wanted to talk.
1130
01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:02,279
What’s wrong?
1131
01:09:02,359 --> 01:09:04,359
The problem is, it doesn’t work.
1132
01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,680
Don’t you realize this is bullshit?
The club is bullshit.
1133
01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:08,600
Let me speak!
1134
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:11,520
Don't touch me! Don’t touch me!
I want to speak!
1135
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,040
- Dammit!
- Let him speak!
1136
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,800
It works for you because
you’re not in love with your wives.
1137
01:09:20,319 --> 01:09:23,560
Sure David, but no.
Don’t look at me like that.
1138
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,520
Why did you get married?
1139
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:26,720
I was in love.
1140
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,120
In love? You can't stand limits.
1141
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:31,359
And look at you now, who are you?
1142
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:33,880
King of the Unfaithful Husbands.
1143
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,479
Do you like what you see?
1144
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,399
What about you, Marcos?
1145
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,120
You don't love your wife,
you hate her,
1146
01:09:41,279 --> 01:09:44,880
You married her because
your family pressured you to do it.
1147
01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:45,920
You don't love her.
1148
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,560
You fell in love with another woman!
1149
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:48,439
No, no...
1150
01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:50,200
Yes, Marcos! As for you Juan...
1151
01:09:51,359 --> 01:09:53,880
I can’t believe you did this
to your wife!
1152
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,680
Why did you do it?
1153
01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,960
Because the rest of us did?
1154
01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:02,360
And you, doctor...
1155
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:07,760
You’re not tired of your wife,
you’re tired of yourself.
1156
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:09,840
Take my advice:
see a psychiatrist.
1157
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:14,400
We came up with a fucking great plan.
1158
01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,760
But our wives aren’t included. Awesome.
1159
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:18,920
Such bullshit.
1160
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,440
The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club.
1161
01:10:24,440 --> 01:10:27,880
Such crap! There are guys here
who don’t even have girlfriends.
1162
01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:32,360
All those bullshit rules you made up.
1163
01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,240
What if our wives did the same?
1164
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,680
Would they be “nice” too?
1165
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:43,680
Goodbye.
1166
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:45,120
Carlos, Carlos!
1167
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,520
He’s not thinking straight,
he’s on edge.
1168
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,360
Bam!
1169
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:57,880
Reality check...
1170
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,440
It was terrible, terrible.
1171
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:03,080
He was really mad.
1172
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:06,240
Yup.
1173
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:13,040
I came out feeling devastated,
but I knew what I had to do,
1174
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,800
so I got home
with one idea in my head.
1175
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:17,360
We were a tight bunch.
1176
01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,400
Strong, solid.
1177
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,000
When I got in Silvia was
in the dining room, very upset.
1178
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:29,200
And it was hard,
but I told her to listen...
1179
01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:31,880
I told her everything.
1180
01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,560
The club, the nights out,
1181
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,960
the girl in Lleida.
1182
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,400
It was horrible. Horrible.
1183
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,000
We didn't realize...
1184
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:55,720
but Carlos had broken
the only rule, the main rule.
1185
01:11:56,280 --> 01:11:59,000
The club doesn’t exist.
1186
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,600
No, no. Silvia told no-one. No-one.
1187
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,880
Well, yes, she told her best friend,
1188
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:10,760
but he swore
not to tell anyone.
1189
01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:18,160
But he told his girlfriend,
and she told another five friends.
1190
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,960
Those five friends
told another five, and another five,
1191
01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,160
and another five,
and another, and so on.
1192
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:29,000
until it got back to the concierge
at David and Ana’s building
1193
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:33,240
The concierge told the story
in incredible detail.
1194
01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:34,880
My wife got suspicious again.
1195
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,120
She got in the car
and came here. Again.
1196
01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:43,680
Ana was close friends with Ines, my...
1197
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,960
My wife talked to Ines, Marcos’ wife.
1198
01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:50,000
And she told a friend,
who told another, and another...
1199
01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:50,880
We were friends!
1200
01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:52,440
They all found out.
1201
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,200
Good things never last.
1202
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:55,680
We got caught.
1203
01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:56,680
Total crash.
1204
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,760
It was terrible.
1205
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,240
We raised the risk premium too high.
1206
01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:04,560
Your life is a house of cards.
1207
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:07,240
One puff and…
1208
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:09,200
It's gone.
1209
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,560
When I got home
my wife was waiting to kill me.
1210
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,400
43 marriages destroyed,
including mine.
1211
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,440
We were dropping like flies
and the worst part was...
1212
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,280
we didn’t know what to do.
1213
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,080
My goddess left.
1214
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:25,800
I’d never seen her look so sad,
1215
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:28,960
and it was my fault.
1216
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:32,160
Can we stop for a second? Please?
1217
01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:57,720
The next day,
1218
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,320
when I finished work here.
1219
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:02,920
Right here.
1220
01:14:03,400 --> 01:14:06,440
I tidied up
and I was heading home and...
1221
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:12,640
Wow...
1222
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:17,960
Not even a professional like myself
could have seen it coming.
1223
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,360
When we found out,
it was too late.
1224
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:23,440
My phone was ringing
but I was welding,
1225
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:25,520
with the machines going.
1226
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:28,280
I didn’t realise
they were going to...
1227
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:33,400
Carlos? Where’s Carlos?
1228
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:42,400
They went berserk.
1229
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:45,960
They were crazy. Crazy.
1230
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:27,160
People were possessed
by anger and guilt.
1231
01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:28,680
They needed to express it.
1232
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:30,920
Maybe Carlos messed up, but...
1233
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,240
But kill him? No way.
1234
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,360
I swear by all the worldly pleasures...
1235
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:45,720
by all the vices and all the booze...
1236
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:47,960
that we will always be friends...
1237
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,920
that we will always be friends...
1238
01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:51,960
that we will always be friends...
1239
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:53,360
no matter what happens...
1240
01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:54,760
even if it’s bad...
1241
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:56,240
however messed up you get.
1242
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:57,960
Amen.
1243
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,360
They came to rescue me!
Holy shit!
1244
01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:39,840
I’ll never forget it.
1245
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:44,960
We were angry too,
but they wanted to kill him.
1246
01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:48,720
I thought I’d lost my friends,.
1247
01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:51,240
but it was the opposite.
1248
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,320
I had two teeth capped,
five stitches,
1249
01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,920
one rib still gives me
shooting pains,
1250
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,600
and swallowing is sometimes
a little hard.
1251
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:32,680
We would have been
caught anyway,
1252
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:34,240
because we'd lost our minds.
1253
01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:36,800
We’re not 10 years old,
we’re grown-ups.
1254
01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,920
You join a cheaters club,
you know what could happen:
1255
01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:41,680
your wife could catch you.
1256
01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:43,720
You have to accept
responsibility.
1257
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:45,720
The End.
1258
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,520
What happened to our wives?
1259
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,800
We had to get them back
into our lives.
1260
01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:52,200
We all did what we could.
1261
01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:54,760
It had to come out some day.
1262
01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:58,240
I cheated on the cheaters:
I didn’t sleep with that girl.
1263
01:17:59,080 --> 01:17:59,920
I faked it.
1264
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:02,680
Please, leave me alone,
I’m married,
1265
01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:04,040
Didn't you see the ring?
1266
01:18:04,240 --> 01:18:06,120
My wife forgave me on 3 conditions.
1267
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:08,680
One: that I never do it again.
1268
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,640
Two: we never talk about it again.
1269
01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:13,200
Three:
1270
01:18:14,480 --> 01:18:15,960
that I see a psychiatrist.
1271
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:22,760
Here’s to fatty!
All of them drinking, toasting!
1272
01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:23,920
It was awesome!
1273
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:26,840
Well screw them, it was a lie.
1274
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,280
I’m unfaithful, OK?
1275
01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:32,560
I say it straight out: I’m unfaithful.
1276
01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:36,480
No more masks and fronts
and covering up.
1277
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:38,520
What?
1278
01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:43,080
You think it’s funny
for a shrink to see a shrink?
1279
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,200
I want a wife who isn’t jealous,
1280
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,520
who won’t mind
if I sleep with other women
1281
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:52,400
because I won’t mind
if she sleeps with other men.
1282
01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:54,480
After the club,
my wife divorced me.
1283
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,120
I’m not getting married.
1284
01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:57,880
What about Lola?
The girl I met...
1285
01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:58,960
...on the trip?
1286
01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:02,720
When she heard about the club,
she left me.
1287
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:04,120
My wife forgave me.
1288
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:07,920
She even took me out
to one of those clubs.
1289
01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:09,240
a couples club.
1290
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:11,920
and she said:
“From now on, I’ll be your teacher.”
1291
01:19:12,320 --> 01:19:13,200
I’m single now.
1292
01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:17,400
Great men without wives:
Gandhi, Jesus Christ,
1293
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,080
Sherlock Holmes, Tintin...
1294
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,000
Gandalf.
1295
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,640
I’m meeting people now,
on the Internet.
1296
01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,040
I uploaded some pics,
now I’m waiting.
1297
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:30,880
Great invention.
"Internet."
1298
01:19:31,480 --> 01:19:32,640
Not bad.
1299
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:36,880
I decided to take the teacher’s advice
1300
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,360
to get her back.
1301
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:39,440
“The Teacher.”
1302
01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:44,080
So, while she was still with her lover,
1303
01:19:44,920 --> 01:19:46,920
she started cheating on him with me.
1304
01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:50,600
In the end she left him
and after our little encounters...
1305
01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,120
we’re expecting a baby.
1306
01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:59,880
We turned the record over.
Now we're on the B-side.
1307
01:19:59,960 --> 01:20:00,880
My specialty.
1308
01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:02,360
The club?
1309
01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:04,280
What club?
1310
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:09,960
The club doesn't exist.
1311
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,280
Every woman thought
her husband was in the club.
1312
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,520
In their minds the club
was a huge thing.
1313
01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:41,600
It sounded so good.
1314
01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:44,760
The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club.
1315
01:22:45,560 --> 01:22:46,600
Like a movie.
1316
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:49,880
We didn’t fly in a private jet.
1317
01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:52,360
We didn’t hypnotize women.
1318
01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:54,560
There was no initiation rite,
1319
01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:57,640
We didn’t make anyone
tattoo the club logo on their penis.
1320
01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:01,640
We didn’t traffic women
or deal drugs.
1321
01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:04,280
We didn't have
1000s of members,
1322
01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:07,400
and no way did we sell
the franchise in the USA.
1323
01:23:08,280 --> 01:23:10,760
It’s not true Julio Iglesias
was our patron.
1324
01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:14,960
Four friends goofing off.
1325
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:16,920
It’s normal.
1326
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:21,160
There are tribes where
mothers sleep with their sons,
1327
01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:24,480
and it’s fine, the world keeps turning.
1328
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,600
I hope all this
gets the truth out there.
96152
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