All language subtitles for elevator to the 25th floor 1989--
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1
00:01:30,105 --> 00:01:32,596
I'm going to take the elevator.
2
00:01:35,711 --> 00:01:39,044
- What floor is Ezra Ounce on?
- Why, the Ezra Ounce floor.
3
00:01:39,214 --> 00:01:42,980
Take this elevator to the 25th floor
then take the special tower elevator.
4
00:01:43,152 --> 00:01:45,620
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
5
00:01:55,364 --> 00:01:57,594
I beg pardon,
which is the tower elevator?
6
00:01:57,766 --> 00:02:00,564
- Did you wish to see Mr. Ezra Ounce?
- Yes, sir.
7
00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:11,639
Have you an appointment?
8
00:02:11,814 --> 00:02:14,408
- Yes, sir.
- Have you any identification?
9
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,416
Ezra Ounce is my wife's cousin.
10
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,284
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway
of New York City to see Mr. Ounce.
11
00:02:22,424 --> 00:02:25,518
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway
of New York City to see Mr. Ounce.
12
00:02:25,694 --> 00:02:28,390
- Send him up.
- Send him up.
13
00:02:28,764 --> 00:02:31,927
- That way, please.
- Yes, sir.
14
00:02:42,511 --> 00:02:45,036
- Pistol?
- Kidnappers.
15
00:02:54,289 --> 00:02:58,020
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway
of New York City to see Mr. Ounce.
16
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,358
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway
of New York City to see Mr. Ounce.
17
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,623
- Send him in.
- Take him in.
18
00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:10,004
Electricity.
19
00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:17,544
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway of New York City
has an appointment to see Mr. Ounce.
20
00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:29,617
Cousin Ezra, that is, Mr. Ounce,
sent for me to come from New York.
21
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,488
You are three and one-half minutes early.
22
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,629
This is the first time that Cousin Ezra...
23
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,027
...Mr. Ounce
has sent for me in 20 years.
24
00:03:37,199 --> 00:03:42,102
March 8, 1912, you had
an appointment at 10:23 a.m.
25
00:03:42,271 --> 00:03:44,466
You stayed four minutes.
26
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:50,044
Yes. He had heard that I'd had a baby.
That is, my wife, Mathilda, had it.
27
00:03:50,212 --> 00:03:52,146
He wanted to add it to the family tree.
28
00:03:52,314 --> 00:03:55,477
Girl. Name: Barbara.
Weight: Five pounds.
29
00:03:55,651 --> 00:03:59,883
Complexion: Undetermined. Hair: Bald.
30
00:04:00,055 --> 00:04:04,389
Yes. Barbara took after me at first.
She was born bald.
31
00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,658
She's got hair now.
32
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:10,826
- Fortunate.
- She's 22 now.
33
00:04:10,999 --> 00:04:14,435
Twenty-two years, two months,
three days is correct.
34
00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:17,367
Cousin Ezra wasn't very happy
about her being a girl.
35
00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:20,406
Mr. Ounce does not approve of females.
36
00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:25,371
I'm, that is, we're sorry
we couldn't have given him a boy.
37
00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,042
It is time for your appointment.
38
00:04:28,217 --> 00:04:32,916
Mr. Ounce is very particular as to
punctuality. Mr. Ounce is waiting.
39
00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:35,022
Oh, thank you.
40
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:43,631
Electricity.
41
00:04:44,199 --> 00:04:46,167
You told me the tire
would run 10,000 miles.
42
00:04:46,335 --> 00:04:49,202
Now, what happened? It blew out.
I don't want a new tire.
43
00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:53,432
I want my $ 18.75. If I don't get it back,
I'm gonna sue you.
44
00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:56,544
Cousin Ezra, it's been 20 years since...
45
00:04:56,712 --> 00:04:58,646
He told me the tire
would run 10,000 miles.
46
00:04:58,814 --> 00:05:01,840
What happened? It only ran 9998 miles.
47
00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:04,542
It's dishonest. False representation,
that's what it is.
48
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,053
I don't want a new tire. Sounds eccentric
but I can afford to be.
49
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:09,554
I've got $35 million.
50
00:05:09,725 --> 00:05:12,489
You haven't got $35 million.
You can't afford to be eccentric.
51
00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:15,755
- What are you shaking your head for?
- I can't afford to be eccentric.
52
00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:17,956
- That's what I said.
- That's what I mean.
53
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,867
Well, why didn't you say so?
54
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,298
Mathilda and Barbara
send their love to you.
55
00:05:23,739 --> 00:05:26,173
- Barbara sends her love to me?
- Yes, Ezra.
56
00:05:26,341 --> 00:05:28,832
Why should she send her love to me?
She's never seen me.
57
00:05:29,011 --> 00:05:30,569
Well, she's seen your picture.
58
00:05:30,746 --> 00:05:32,577
She's sending her love to my picture.
59
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:36,184
No, no, you see. We've told her,
that is, she knows all about you.
60
00:05:36,351 --> 00:05:37,875
Sit down.
61
00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:57,802
I've prepared a questionnaire. And if you
answer the questions to my satisfaction...
62
00:05:57,973 --> 00:06:00,032
- Yes, Ezra?
...to my entire satisfaction...
63
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,904
...I may have an important
decision to announce.
64
00:06:04,346 --> 00:06:06,007
Hemingway questionnaire.
65
00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:12,618
Do you promise to tell the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth?
66
00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:14,153
I do.
67
00:06:15,057 --> 00:06:17,048
Are you a moral man, Mr. Hemingway?
68
00:06:17,225 --> 00:06:19,125
Well, I like to think so.
69
00:06:19,294 --> 00:06:22,286
- Well, don't you know?
- Oh, yes, yes, I'm a moral man.
70
00:06:24,399 --> 00:06:27,960
- Have you ever touched liquor or nicotine?
- Never.
71
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,865
Have you ever purposely sinned?
72
00:06:30,038 --> 00:06:32,836
No, not much, on purpose.
73
00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:35,338
Have you ever dawdled
with the idea of sinning?
74
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:37,671
Now, Ezra, you know I never dawdle.
75
00:06:38,046 --> 00:06:40,310
- Answer me, yes or no.
- No.
76
00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,579
- Yes, Mr. Ounce?
- Listen carefully, Horace...
77
00:06:47,756 --> 00:06:50,384
...and you'll understand
my decision. The family tree.
78
00:06:50,559 --> 00:06:52,049
Yes, sir.
79
00:06:57,899 --> 00:07:00,424
This is the Ounce family tree.
80
00:07:00,602 --> 00:07:03,435
Here's Mr. Ounce coming right up
out of the trunk.
81
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,167
This is Mathilda Ounce Hemingway...
82
00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:07,638
...out on this limb.
83
00:07:07,809 --> 00:07:09,572
You married this limb.
84
00:07:10,512 --> 00:07:13,572
And this twig sprouting here
is Miss Barbara.
85
00:07:14,149 --> 00:07:15,582
Show him the withered branches.
86
00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:19,414
Mr. Ounce has looked with horror
on the rotten branches of his family tree...
87
00:07:19,588 --> 00:07:21,249
...if I might use the term.
88
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:23,118
Bad banana in every bunch.
89
00:07:23,291 --> 00:07:26,920
There is only one more living fruit
of the Ounce family tree...
90
00:07:27,095 --> 00:07:29,256
...and that is bad fruit.
91
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:33,059
James Higgens, over here,
has succumbed to the stage...
92
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:36,068
...in defiance of Mr. Ounce's
known wishes in the matter.
93
00:07:36,405 --> 00:07:39,101
James Bad Fruit Higgens, an actor.
94
00:07:40,609 --> 00:07:43,339
And have you barred
said James Higgens from your home...
95
00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:47,642
...pursuant to Mr. Ounce's memorandum,
January 13, 1930?
96
00:07:47,816 --> 00:07:50,080
- I have.
- You'd better.
97
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:54,279
Very well, Mr. Hemingway. Mr. Ounce
has decided not to wait until he dies...
98
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:55,946
...before dividing his fortune.
99
00:07:56,124 --> 00:07:58,490
He's going back
to New York with you tonight.
100
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:01,390
There he will liquidate $ 10 million...
101
00:08:01,563 --> 00:08:03,758
...and give it to your wife and yourself.
102
00:08:03,932 --> 00:08:06,492
Ten million dollars.
103
00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:07,896
What about it?
104
00:08:08,303 --> 00:08:12,171
- That's very nice of you, Ezra.
- Yes, but if I find out you haven't...
105
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,501
...answered the questions truthfully...
- Ezra.
106
00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:17,873
If I find your moral life is nothing
more than a snare and a delusion...
107
00:08:18,046 --> 00:08:19,843
...I'll cut you off like a ripe banana.
108
00:08:20,015 --> 00:08:22,540
Yes, Ezra, like a ripe banana.
109
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,381
James Bad Fruit Higgens.
Take a look at that.
110
00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:31,983
Destroy this. He's no longer an Ounce.
111
00:08:47,075 --> 00:08:50,067
Like to hear a little secret?
I love you.
112
00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:53,772
Jimmy Higgens, why all this love
and affection? Have you got a job?
113
00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:55,541
Do I have to have a job to love you?
114
00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,976
No, but I'd like to hear both.
115
00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,883
Well, I haven't got a job.
Nothing but love.
116
00:09:01,056 --> 00:09:03,991
Thirty-four shows in New York
and not a one of them aching for me.
117
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:06,457
You'll get there yet.
You just keep trying.
118
00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:09,461
Honey, a couple of boys
and myself are writing our own show.
119
00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:13,397
You should have waited until Uncle Ezra
died before you went on the stage.
120
00:09:13,568 --> 00:09:17,334
I'd have been playing old-man parts by then.
Besides, I don't want any of his money.
121
00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:21,306
I only want to do the things I like,
and kiss the girl I love.
122
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,946
It doesn't seem right, our loving each other
like we do, being related and everything.
123
00:09:30,118 --> 00:09:32,518
Related? We're 13th cousins.
124
00:09:32,687 --> 00:09:34,314
- Thirteenth?
- Thirteenth.
125
00:09:34,489 --> 00:09:38,823
- Say, is that bad luck?
- Nothing's bad luck, sitting here like this.
126
00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:43,264
- Too hot?
- Of course not.
127
00:09:43,431 --> 00:09:45,126
- That spot...
- So what?
128
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:48,269
It's a precious souvenir to me
129
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:50,832
- In love?
- In strong
130
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:52,769
With me? How long?
131
00:09:52,941 --> 00:09:56,672
Oh, since you were about
Now, let me see
132
00:09:57,045 --> 00:10:00,276
- 'Bout 8? 'Bout 10? 'Bout 12?
- No
133
00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:05,647
- Well, when?
- I'll tell you very confidentially
134
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:10,681
When you were a smile
on your mother's lips
135
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:14,386
And a twinkle in your daddy's eye
136
00:10:14,563 --> 00:10:17,930
I loved you then
I loved you when
137
00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:21,591
You were a little tender sigh
138
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:24,671
When I was a babe in my mother's arms
139
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:28,206
I would wake up with a lonely cry
140
00:10:28,376 --> 00:10:30,503
I cried for you
141
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:35,582
They never knew
They thought it was my lullaby
142
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:39,982
I gave up every little toy
143
00:10:40,155 --> 00:10:42,350
I played no game
144
00:10:42,524 --> 00:10:46,790
I was a lonely little boy
145
00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:50,329
Until you came
146
00:10:50,498 --> 00:10:52,090
The days flew apart
147
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:53,894
You were in my heart
148
00:10:54,069 --> 00:10:57,300
And I waited for the stork to fly
149
00:10:57,606 --> 00:11:01,406
When you were a smile
On your mother's lips
150
00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:07,971
And a twinkle in your daddy's eye
151
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,684
No. That way.
152
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,823
Up.
153
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:28,232
Careful.
154
00:11:30,372 --> 00:11:32,567
Oh, Barbara.
155
00:11:34,342 --> 00:11:36,537
Barbara, guess what?
156
00:11:36,711 --> 00:11:39,839
Cousin Ezra is on his way
form Buffalo with father.
157
00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:43,644
- And he's gonna give us $ 10 million.
- What's he gonna give Jimmy?
158
00:11:43,818 --> 00:11:47,447
Don't you dare breathe that young
reprobate's name to Cousin Ezra.
159
00:11:47,622 --> 00:11:51,558
My, your father has dreamed of this moment
ever since we were married.
160
00:11:51,726 --> 00:11:54,320
That's all you've talked about
as long as I can remember.
161
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:57,363
But just think. Ten million dollars.
162
00:11:57,532 --> 00:12:01,195
Oh, I can hardly wait to see
dear, dear Ezra.
163
00:12:04,539 --> 00:12:07,736
I'd rather see Jimmy once
than that old ruin 10 million times.
164
00:12:07,909 --> 00:12:10,673
Barbara, that's almost sacrilege.
165
00:12:10,845 --> 00:12:14,337
Yes, and I wish Uncle Ezra would hurry
and get here so I could tell him so.
166
00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:15,777
Barbara.
167
00:12:21,389 --> 00:12:24,483
Laura, how could
you do this to Cousin Ezra?
168
00:12:24,659 --> 00:12:25,921
Come on, get up.
169
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,663
Barbara will be glad to see you, Ezra.
170
00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:37,862
Why not? And I've got some
good news for you and Mathilda.
171
00:12:38,039 --> 00:12:42,032
While I liquidate $ 10 million, I've decided
to spend about a month at your house.
172
00:12:42,210 --> 00:12:45,043
Oh, that is good news, Ezra.
173
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:49,172
New York City reeks with sin, especially
the hotels. I wouldn't go near any of them.
174
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,216
Oh, you're right, Cousin Ezra.
175
00:12:51,386 --> 00:12:52,614
And here's something else.
176
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:55,915
I shall take a second 10 million
to form the O.F. For the E. Of A.M.
177
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:57,649
- The what?
- The Ounce Foundation...
178
00:12:57,826 --> 00:12:59,623
...for the Elevation of American Morals.
179
00:12:59,794 --> 00:13:03,093
You can elevate a lot of morals
for $ 10 million, Ezra.
180
00:13:03,264 --> 00:13:07,724
New York City is a hotbed of vice.
We'll start with New York and work west.
181
00:13:07,902 --> 00:13:09,927
- Very commendable.
- Mathilda can work south.
182
00:13:10,105 --> 00:13:11,800
I'll give her the southern territory.
183
00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:14,339
- Mathilda will appreciate that very much.
- Yeah?
184
00:13:14,509 --> 00:13:17,637
She's always been interested
in reforming everything.
185
00:13:19,881 --> 00:13:23,339
Ten o'clock. Past our bedtime.
Come, Horace.
186
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,446
Bulger. Bodyguard.
187
00:13:34,229 --> 00:13:35,992
Stop that, you old rou�, you.
188
00:13:36,164 --> 00:13:39,361
Did you see her trip me? Come, Horace.
189
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:43,794
Shows you how careful one must be.
190
00:13:43,972 --> 00:13:46,304
You're a good, clean moral man,
aren't you, Horace?
191
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,908
- Oh, yes, indeedy.
- Well, see that you remain that way.
192
00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:52,274
We must prepare for the battle in New York.
Sleep well, Horace.
193
00:13:52,447 --> 00:13:55,280
- Good night, Ezra.
- Good night. Come, Bulger.
194
00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:11,298
- Oh, the wrong room.
- No, it isn't my room. It must be yours.
195
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:14,333
- No, it's not mine.
- Well, look.
196
00:14:19,307 --> 00:14:21,275
- It is mine.
- Good.
197
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,206
What are you doing in my compartment?
198
00:14:23,378 --> 00:14:27,337
I was with a burlesque show. We were
stranded and laid an egg in Troy, see?
199
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:29,449
- I don't see it at all.
- It's very simple.
200
00:14:29,617 --> 00:14:31,482
This is better than walking to New York.
201
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,679
- Y... You get out of here.
- Why? I don't snore.
202
00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:36,619
Snore?
203
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:45,891
One, two, one, two.
204
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:49,264
One, two, one, two. Well, Horace.
205
00:14:49,437 --> 00:14:51,166
I thought you were in bed.
206
00:14:51,339 --> 00:14:55,537
No, I'm not in bed. I came out
to get some air. You're not in bed.
207
00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:59,146
My compartment was too small so I came
down to exercise. It's good for you.
208
00:14:59,314 --> 00:15:03,341
Stimulates the digestion, strengthens
the corpuscles. One, two, one, two.
209
00:15:05,353 --> 00:15:08,083
I've overdone it. Athlete's stomach.
210
00:15:08,256 --> 00:15:09,621
Must go to bed, Horace.
211
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,490
Come, Bulger.
212
00:15:14,529 --> 00:15:16,622
Well, here's your compartment, Horace.
213
00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:20,029
This should've been mine.
E stands for Ezra. Do you get it?
214
00:15:20,602 --> 00:15:23,799
- Good night, Cousin Ezra.
- Good night, Horace.
215
00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:37,915
Oh, I thought there was a catch in this.
Indian giver, huh?
216
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:39,917
Get out of here,
I'll call the conductor.
217
00:15:40,088 --> 00:15:43,319
Call him. I'll tell him we got on at Buffalo
and that you got cold feet.
218
00:15:43,491 --> 00:15:46,016
I'll make a scandal to shake
this rattler off its tracks.
219
00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:47,957
- Oh, no.
- I think I'll start screaming.
220
00:15:48,129 --> 00:15:51,257
Oh, no, no, no. Stay right here.
Make yourself at home.
221
00:15:51,432 --> 00:15:54,401
Wild horses couldn't keep me in here.
222
00:16:04,412 --> 00:16:06,277
Mr. Hemingway.
223
00:16:06,881 --> 00:16:08,974
Is there anything wrong
with your compartment?
224
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,614
Oh, it's full of rats.
225
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:14,445
I see.
226
00:16:14,622 --> 00:16:16,954
I'm not a drinking man myself,
but I'm broad-minded.
227
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:20,891
Yes, sir. I had a cousin
used to see rats. Pink ones.
228
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,963
- Come on, you better go to bed.
- No, no, I refuse to go to bed.
229
00:16:24,132 --> 00:16:26,259
Will you go quietly,
or must I call Mr. Ounce?
230
00:16:26,434 --> 00:16:29,130
Oh, no, no. I'll go quietly.
231
00:17:46,347 --> 00:17:50,374
Mathilda, I shall appoint you first-crusading
vice president of the Ounce Foundation.
232
00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:53,185
Well, what do I do first, Ezra?
233
00:17:53,354 --> 00:17:57,347
Well, first... First, we must
put our ear to the ground.
234
00:17:57,525 --> 00:17:59,015
What do you mean, Cousin Ezra?
235
00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:00,820
Oh, just snooping around.
236
00:18:00,995 --> 00:18:02,223
Barbara.
237
00:18:03,464 --> 00:18:05,659
- Well?
- And a good, good evening to you, miss.
238
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:09,633
- We don't wanna buy nothing.
- I represent the Empire Insurance Company.
239
00:18:09,804 --> 00:18:12,898
- I have a little policy for you.
- We've got it. Go away, I got orders.
240
00:18:13,074 --> 00:18:15,008
So have I.
I've got to see Mr. Hemingway.
241
00:18:15,176 --> 00:18:16,837
Take your foot away from the door...
242
00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:19,411
...and I'll tell him you're here.
- I'm coming in...
243
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,012
...if you don't mind.
244
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:24,777
I do mind. You stay right here.
245
00:18:24,952 --> 00:18:27,648
I can hardly wait till you get back.
246
00:18:36,864 --> 00:18:40,231
- I never saw such nerve.
- Laura, who was at the door?
247
00:18:40,401 --> 00:18:43,427
One of them fresh insurance fellas,
ma'am. And he got in.
248
00:18:43,604 --> 00:18:45,401
What company does he represent, miss?
249
00:18:45,573 --> 00:18:48,804
- He says he's from the Empire of Buffalo.
- I'll get rid of him, Ezra.
250
00:18:48,976 --> 00:18:51,410
No, just a moment, Horace.
He represents my company.
251
00:18:51,579 --> 00:18:56,607
I like persistency. Show him into
the sitting room. I'll interview him.
252
00:18:56,784 --> 00:18:59,082
Laura, show him in.
253
00:19:05,526 --> 00:19:07,357
Here I am.
254
00:19:10,531 --> 00:19:12,863
Mr. Ounce says for you to come
into the sitting room.
255
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:14,467
Well, what's this?
256
00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:18,036
- Well, this is the sitting room.
- All right, I'll sit.
257
00:19:19,474 --> 00:19:23,433
Do you realize that 65 out of every
100 people become paupers at age 50?
258
00:19:23,611 --> 00:19:25,238
- No.
- It's the truth...
259
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:27,973
...and nothing can prevent it
but life insurance.
260
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,381
And you, Mr. Hemingway,
do you realize that 65...
261
00:19:31,552 --> 00:19:33,952
...out of every 100 people
become paupers at age 50?
262
00:19:34,122 --> 00:19:36,352
- No.
- Do you?
263
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:37,923
- Do you?
- Yes.
264
00:19:38,092 --> 00:19:41,152
The lady is right and nothing
can prevent it but life insurance.
265
00:19:41,329 --> 00:19:44,787
- Haven't I seen you someplace before?
- You haven't. That's why I'm here.
266
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:47,560
I want to give us a break.
My spies told me you'd be here.
267
00:19:47,735 --> 00:19:50,260
- You are James Higgens.
- You are Uncle Ezra.
268
00:19:50,438 --> 00:19:53,430
I've got a musical show that's a honey.
It's called Sweet and Hot.
269
00:19:53,608 --> 00:19:55,473
- Get out.
- I got the show, you the dough.
270
00:19:55,643 --> 00:19:56,974
- Get out.
- Now wait a minute.
271
00:19:57,145 --> 00:20:01,707
We don't know or like each other,
but this is strictly a business proposition.
272
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:05,478
- And you stand to make at least $25,000.
- Horace, tell him to get out.
273
00:20:05,653 --> 00:20:07,712
- You get out of here.
- Now you get right out.
274
00:20:07,889 --> 00:20:11,825
- Lf you don't make money it's a good show.
- Lf you mention show to me... Bulger.
275
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:14,188
Bulger.
276
00:20:16,297 --> 00:20:17,525
Bulger.
277
00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:21,065
Bulger. Here. Put that gun away.
Put that gun away. And throw him out.
278
00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:23,635
- Wait a minute.
- Throw him out. Throw him out. Out.
279
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:29,072
D.S. Oggle-wopple. D.S. Oggle-wopple.
D.S. Oggle-wopple.
280
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:36,139
- What does D.S. Oggle-wopple mean?
- Maybe he's hysterical or something.
281
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:38,012
Hysterical? He's a maniac.
282
00:20:40,421 --> 00:20:42,514
- What's the matter?
- When I get excited...
283
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:43,987
...I get nervous indigestion.
284
00:20:44,158 --> 00:20:45,557
Come over here and sit down.
285
00:20:45,726 --> 00:20:49,423
Now you sit right down there, Ezra.
And keep quiet.
286
00:20:50,631 --> 00:20:53,623
- We'll get you a drink of water.
- No. No.
287
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:56,167
Well, go get Uncle Ezra
some bicarbonate of soda.
288
00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:58,703
- No.
- Wouldn't plain baking soda be all right?
289
00:20:58,873 --> 00:21:00,238
No.
290
00:21:00,408 --> 00:21:02,535
Well, then hold your breath
and count a hundred.
291
00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:06,511
Have you ever tried holding your finger
to your upper lip, hard? Like this?
292
00:21:06,681 --> 00:21:08,478
There's only one remedy.
293
00:21:08,649 --> 00:21:12,016
- What is it, uncle?
- Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
294
00:21:12,186 --> 00:21:15,485
- Made in Buffalo.
- I'll run to the drugstore and get some.
295
00:21:15,656 --> 00:21:17,715
- Yeah, hurry, hurry.
- All right.
296
00:21:18,926 --> 00:21:21,520
Call the drugstore, quick.
297
00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:27,595
What's the matter? Don't you know
people have hiccups for weeks sometimes?
298
00:21:28,936 --> 00:21:31,200
- Line's busy.
- Well, call another one.
299
00:21:31,372 --> 00:21:33,363
Aren't there any other drugstores
in New York?
300
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:35,202
Do something.
301
00:21:36,344 --> 00:21:38,710
Want me to tickle his feet?
He might start laughing.
302
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,871
I don't wanna hear
another word out of you.
303
00:21:41,816 --> 00:21:43,909
Have you got
Dr. Golden's Silver Elixir?
304
00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:47,145
Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
305
00:21:47,321 --> 00:21:48,879
All right. He hasn't got it anyway.
306
00:21:49,056 --> 00:21:52,617
Maybe if the gentleman would stick his
head upside down in a bucket of water.
307
00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,691
You're fired. Go pack your things.
308
00:21:56,864 --> 00:22:02,063
Very well, ma'am. And I hope the old
buzzard hiccups himself into spasms.
309
00:22:02,236 --> 00:22:05,967
Get out. Get out. Ezra. Ezra.
310
00:22:10,077 --> 00:22:12,978
That was a very dangerous
and silly thing for you to do.
311
00:22:13,147 --> 00:22:17,413
He was my last chance. I've been to every
producer's office and couldn't get in.
312
00:22:17,585 --> 00:22:19,644
- You got past our maid.
- I'll be an expert...
313
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:21,151
...at getting thrown out.
314
00:22:21,322 --> 00:22:23,586
- Say, how'd you get out?
- Oh, I was lucky.
315
00:22:23,758 --> 00:22:26,852
You gave Uncle Ezra the hiccups,
and I had to run for medicine.
316
00:22:27,028 --> 00:22:31,692
- Well, I hope they haven't got any.
- Oh, you nasty man.
317
00:22:32,366 --> 00:22:34,027
- Good evening, Barbara.
- Good evening.
318
00:22:34,201 --> 00:22:36,931
Do you have Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir?
319
00:22:37,104 --> 00:22:40,631
- What?
- Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
320
00:22:40,808 --> 00:22:43,174
I haven't been asked for that
in 20 years.
321
00:22:43,344 --> 00:22:45,073
I may have a bottle somewhere.
322
00:22:45,246 --> 00:22:47,407
- I'll look.
- Thank you.
323
00:22:48,783 --> 00:22:51,980
You know, Mother asked me
what D.S. Oggle-wopple meant.
324
00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:54,917
Jimmy, I've heard you say that
over the phone so many times...
325
00:22:55,089 --> 00:22:57,853
...I figured out that D.S. Meant:
Meet me at the drugstore.
326
00:22:58,025 --> 00:22:59,890
But what does Oggle-wopple mean?
327
00:23:00,061 --> 00:23:04,225
It's a long story. That was just to make
it tough in case the folks were listening in.
328
00:23:04,398 --> 00:23:05,888
Oh, I understand.
329
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:14,237
Here's your elixir, Barbara.
It's probably the only bottle in New York.
330
00:23:14,408 --> 00:23:16,308
- Thank you. Charge it, please.
- Certainly.
331
00:23:16,477 --> 00:23:18,707
- Want a sip?
- Thanks.
332
00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:21,980
Good?
333
00:23:23,351 --> 00:23:24,682
- Well, let's go.
- All right.
334
00:23:24,852 --> 00:23:27,320
- So long, Eddy. See you later.
- So long, Jimmy.
335
00:23:27,488 --> 00:23:29,786
Oh, my elixir.
336
00:23:35,329 --> 00:23:37,627
You don't have to go right back home,
do you, honey?
337
00:23:37,798 --> 00:23:40,528
Gosh, it's the first night we've been
together in months.
338
00:23:41,102 --> 00:23:42,967
Look at that moon, sweets.
339
00:23:43,137 --> 00:23:45,264
I wanna talk about the show
and about us.
340
00:23:45,439 --> 00:23:47,168
I can't concentrate on it, Jimmy.
341
00:23:47,341 --> 00:23:49,571
All I can think of is Uncle Ezra's hiccups.
342
00:23:49,744 --> 00:23:52,804
Now which would you rather do,
listen to Uncle Ezra's hiccups...
343
00:23:52,980 --> 00:23:55,278
...or let me tell you
how much I love you?
344
00:23:56,317 --> 00:23:59,411
- Where you gonna tell me, Jimmy?
- I could do it here, but I won't.
345
00:23:59,587 --> 00:24:01,077
I gotta have background.
346
00:24:01,422 --> 00:24:03,151
Okay, kid, come on.
347
00:24:09,897 --> 00:24:11,592
How's this for background, sweetheart?
348
00:24:11,766 --> 00:24:14,599
The sea, the moon and you.
349
00:24:16,437 --> 00:24:18,871
- It's perfect, isn't it?
- Almost.
350
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,737
- What do you mean, almost?
- Jimmy, if your play was a success...
351
00:24:22,910 --> 00:24:25,470
...we could choose our own
background always, couldn't we?
352
00:24:25,646 --> 00:24:29,173
Success? Sweetheart, we've got
a million dollars right here...
353
00:24:29,350 --> 00:24:31,079
...if I can get someone to back me.
354
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:33,277
Just listen to this.
355
00:24:34,155 --> 00:24:36,419
This is how I feel about you.
356
00:24:37,391 --> 00:24:40,986
My love must be a kind of blind love
357
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:47,123
I can't see anyone but you
358
00:24:48,369 --> 00:24:53,705
And, dear, I wonder if you find love
359
00:24:53,874 --> 00:24:59,506
An optical illusion too
360
00:24:59,947 --> 00:25:03,644
Are the stars out tonight?
361
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:07,350
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
362
00:25:07,521 --> 00:25:10,388
'Cause I only have eyes
363
00:25:10,558 --> 00:25:14,858
For you, dear
364
00:25:15,129 --> 00:25:17,757
The moon may be high
365
00:25:17,932 --> 00:25:21,095
But I can't see a thing in the sky
366
00:25:21,669 --> 00:25:24,604
'Cause I only have eyes
367
00:25:25,139 --> 00:25:28,472
For you
368
00:25:28,642 --> 00:25:33,978
I don't know if we're in a garden
369
00:25:34,682 --> 00:25:38,448
Or on a crowded avenue
370
00:25:38,619 --> 00:25:44,114
You are here, so am I
371
00:25:44,291 --> 00:25:47,590
Maybe millions of people go by
372
00:25:47,761 --> 00:25:54,189
But they all disappear from view
373
00:25:54,368 --> 00:25:59,806
And I only have eyes
374
00:25:59,974 --> 00:26:05,606
For you
375
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,878
Gee, Jimmy, that's swell.
376
00:26:13,053 --> 00:26:14,384
So are you.
377
00:26:21,896 --> 00:26:23,591
My.
378
00:26:35,509 --> 00:26:38,000
For heaven's sakes.
379
00:26:41,982 --> 00:26:45,349
Ezra, please let me send for a doctor.
380
00:26:45,519 --> 00:26:47,919
Don't wanna. I hate doctors.
381
00:26:48,088 --> 00:26:53,253
Don't know what's keeping Barbara.
Well, are you comfortable?
382
00:26:53,427 --> 00:26:55,224
Is there anything I can do?
383
00:26:55,396 --> 00:26:58,388
Yes. Get me some elixir and get out.
384
00:26:58,566 --> 00:27:01,091
Never had a woman
in my bedroom before in my life.
385
00:27:01,268 --> 00:27:03,099
- But, Ezra...
- Get out.
386
00:27:03,270 --> 00:27:06,364
- But I...
- Go on, get out.
387
00:27:10,211 --> 00:27:11,473
Crown Drug?
388
00:27:11,645 --> 00:27:15,411
I'll give you $ 100
for a bottle of Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
389
00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:18,074
And I'll give you 1000 bucks
if I ever heard of it.
390
00:27:19,853 --> 00:27:21,218
Do something.
391
00:27:21,388 --> 00:27:24,789
I've called up 500 drugstores,
and you ask me to do something.
392
00:27:24,959 --> 00:27:26,256
Call one other one, quick.
393
00:27:28,462 --> 00:27:29,929
My.
394
00:27:31,332 --> 00:27:33,562
Hello? Star Drug?
395
00:27:33,734 --> 00:27:37,727
I'll give you 500 bottles...
$500 for a bottle of Dr. Silver's...
396
00:27:37,905 --> 00:27:41,363
- Dr. Golden, Dr. Silver's Gold...
- Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
397
00:27:41,542 --> 00:27:43,100
Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
398
00:27:43,277 --> 00:27:45,745
I haven't seen a bottle
since the Spanish-American War.
399
00:27:46,247 --> 00:27:49,080
Oh, get another number, quick.
400
00:27:51,719 --> 00:27:52,981
Ezra.
401
00:27:53,153 --> 00:27:55,781
There's not a drugstore
in New York that carries it.
402
00:27:55,956 --> 00:27:57,685
Serves me right for coming without it.
403
00:27:57,858 --> 00:28:01,919
Imagine no druggist in New York City
carrying Dr. Silver's Elixir.
404
00:28:02,096 --> 00:28:05,156
Send to Buffalo.
Get a couple of cases. Don't stand there.
405
00:28:05,332 --> 00:28:07,425
- But l...
- Do something. Get out.
406
00:28:07,635 --> 00:28:10,126
Go on. Get out. Get it. Get the elixir.
407
00:28:10,304 --> 00:28:13,865
How do I know where you get it?
What kind of a drugstore is this?
408
00:28:14,041 --> 00:28:15,599
That's your business.
409
00:28:15,776 --> 00:28:17,266
Oh, Horace, control yourself.
410
00:28:17,444 --> 00:28:19,435
- I've called up every...
- Horace.
411
00:28:19,613 --> 00:28:22,548
- Blankety-blank drugstore in this town.
- Control your language.
412
00:28:22,716 --> 00:28:24,411
- Ezra might hear you.
- I don't give a...
413
00:28:24,585 --> 00:28:25,813
Horace.
414
00:28:28,622 --> 00:28:30,487
Barbara.
415
00:28:35,162 --> 00:28:36,527
Where have you been?
416
00:28:36,697 --> 00:28:39,131
- Staten Island.
- What for?
417
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,536
- Oh, for Dr. Silver's Golden Elixir.
- She's got it.
418
00:28:43,704 --> 00:28:46,639
- Give it to me, Horace.
- Hurry up. Give it to him. Cousin Ezra.
419
00:28:47,207 --> 00:28:50,142
- Come on, hurry up. Give it to him.
- Cousin Ezra, here it is.
420
00:28:50,344 --> 00:28:52,403
That's it. The only thing that never fails.
421
00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:55,980
- How many spoonfuls?
- Never mind. I'll drink it out of the bottle.
422
00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:58,243
Goodbye, hiccups.
423
00:29:09,096 --> 00:29:12,657
That stuff is magic.
I feel like a new man.
424
00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:25,945
- Honey.
- Jimmy.
425
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:30,451
I got a date with a producer.
They're playing the songs.
426
00:29:30,627 --> 00:29:32,356
- I need you for good luck.
- Okay.
427
00:29:32,529 --> 00:29:33,826
Fine.
428
00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:51,706
Boys, that's just what the theater needs.
429
00:29:51,881 --> 00:29:54,475
It's fresh. It's young. It's good.
430
00:29:54,651 --> 00:29:57,085
I like the songs. I like the book.
431
00:29:57,253 --> 00:29:59,016
The whole thing is colossal.
432
00:30:00,423 --> 00:30:02,823
- You'll accept it?
- For immediate production.
433
00:30:02,993 --> 00:30:07,589
I'm going to give you my check
for $5000, advance royalties.
434
00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:09,664
Five thousand dollars?
Did you hear that?
435
00:30:09,833 --> 00:30:13,894
- Oh, gee, that's swell.
- We're in. We're in. We're on the way.
436
00:30:14,371 --> 00:30:16,430
There's your check, my boy.
437
00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,597
Now if you will just
put your name to this...
438
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:20,868
...merely a release
of the property to me...
439
00:30:21,044 --> 00:30:25,845
...while we're waiting for the contracts.
Now, I'll notify you when rehearsals start.
440
00:30:26,016 --> 00:30:27,950
Will we get the regular percentage?
441
00:30:28,118 --> 00:30:31,645
You don't have to be satisfied
with any usual royalties.
442
00:30:31,821 --> 00:30:35,814
I'll guarantee you boys a straight
15 percent of the gross.
443
00:30:35,992 --> 00:30:37,983
Mr. Todd, you don't know
how grateful we are.
444
00:30:38,161 --> 00:30:43,155
Indeed. The only other playwright getting
15 percent is George Bernard Shaw.
445
00:30:43,333 --> 00:30:46,734
Mr. Todd,
you're the swellest guy in the world.
446
00:30:46,903 --> 00:30:49,770
My boy, you're youth.
Your play is youth.
447
00:30:49,939 --> 00:30:52,305
And I always believe
in encouraging youth.
448
00:30:53,777 --> 00:30:57,372
In fact I may almost say
that I was young once myself.
449
00:30:57,547 --> 00:31:01,039
Well, you go right ahead and say it.
Nobody's stopping you.
450
00:31:05,488 --> 00:31:08,753
Well, well, Mabel.
My, you're looking splendid.
451
00:31:08,925 --> 00:31:11,758
I ought to. I spent
my last 200 bucks on this outfit.
452
00:31:11,928 --> 00:31:14,522
- Know what I came back to New York in?
- In good health.
453
00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:18,190
- In a coat and a pair of step-ins.
- Did you have to walk back?
454
00:31:18,368 --> 00:31:20,427
It wasn't your fault that I didn't,
you bandit.
455
00:31:20,603 --> 00:31:22,833
Well, Mr. Higgens,
I'll call you up later...
456
00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:27,067
...since this is a personal matter.
- Personal my eye, I want witnesses.
457
00:31:27,577 --> 00:31:30,205
One o'clock. I have a luncheon
engagement with my banker.
458
00:31:30,380 --> 00:31:33,213
- Now, you'Il...
- Fork over that $57 back salary or I'Il...
459
00:31:33,383 --> 00:31:34,907
You'll have to see my lawyer.
460
00:31:35,085 --> 00:31:38,452
Your lawyer. You four-flushing chiseler.
461
00:31:38,655 --> 00:31:41,556
He sends me out in a turkey show
that folds up like an accordion.
462
00:31:41,725 --> 00:31:44,592
He leaves me holding the bag,
stranded, broke in Troy.
463
00:31:45,128 --> 00:31:47,153
Have you ever been stranded in Troy?
464
00:31:47,330 --> 00:31:48,820
Have you ever even been there?
465
00:31:49,666 --> 00:31:51,361
- No, no.
- No.
466
00:31:58,808 --> 00:32:01,140
Well, buddy, what did that
look like to you?
467
00:32:01,311 --> 00:32:03,506
It looks like you can't get
blood out of a turnip.
468
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,080
- Did he hook you too?
- No, he just...
469
00:32:06,249 --> 00:32:08,444
...gave us a check
for $5000 for our show.
470
00:32:08,618 --> 00:32:12,213
Five thousand?
Pardon me while I have a convulsion.
471
00:32:13,323 --> 00:32:16,690
Well, I'd like to meet my fellow
sufferers. I'm Mabel Anderson.
472
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:19,124
This is Miss Hemingway.
473
00:32:19,562 --> 00:32:21,587
And this is Johnny Harris.
474
00:32:21,865 --> 00:32:24,629
And this is Buttercup Balmer.
And I'm Jimmy Higgens.
475
00:32:24,801 --> 00:32:26,268
- Hello, Jimmy.
- Hello.
476
00:32:26,436 --> 00:32:28,734
You're not related
to Horace P. Hemingway?
477
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,635
- He's my father.
- The sausage casing Hemingways?
478
00:32:31,808 --> 00:32:34,038
- Yes, why?
- Oh, nothing.
479
00:32:34,210 --> 00:32:37,407
Nothing. I just seemed to see
a meal ticket coming over the horizon.
480
00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:39,480
Jimmy, please. Let's get out of here.
481
00:32:39,649 --> 00:32:41,344
No, wait a minute.
I'm getting an idea.
482
00:32:41,518 --> 00:32:44,043
Yes, I've got it.
You say you've got a show?
483
00:32:44,220 --> 00:32:45,744
Have you got $20,000 to put it on?
484
00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:49,653
I've got 17 cents and the clothes I stand in.
But there's life in the old girl yet.
485
00:32:49,826 --> 00:32:52,454
Let's you and me go into a conference.
Beat it, Buttercup.
486
00:32:52,629 --> 00:32:56,292
Come on, Johnny.
Miss Hemingway, if you please.
487
00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:58,528
Goodbye now.
488
00:33:00,203 --> 00:33:01,761
She's got a nerve.
489
00:33:02,672 --> 00:33:04,697
My friend, what kind
of a show have you got?
490
00:33:04,874 --> 00:33:07,775
It's a great musical show,
got the swellest songs you ever heard.
491
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,639
Is that a fact? Well, let me hear one.
492
00:33:09,813 --> 00:33:12,145
I got one here I think you'll like.
It's called:
493
00:33:12,315 --> 00:33:14,112
Try To See it My Way.
Here we go.
494
00:33:18,588 --> 00:33:22,285
Girl of my heart
Why should we start
495
00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:25,188
Quarreling you and I?
496
00:33:25,728 --> 00:33:28,754
That's a very bad beginning
497
00:33:28,932 --> 00:33:32,299
Ending with goodbye
498
00:33:32,468 --> 00:33:37,269
You're a bit wild
Simply a child
499
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,637
Wanting your own sweet way
500
00:33:41,244 --> 00:33:44,179
So before you leave me
501
00:33:44,347 --> 00:33:45,814
Count up to 10
502
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:48,075
While I say
503
00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:52,785
Try to see it my way, baby
504
00:33:52,956 --> 00:33:56,119
Don't break up a beautiful affair
505
00:33:57,861 --> 00:34:01,957
- What are you smiling at?
- Isn't that a sweet song I wrote?
506
00:34:03,233 --> 00:34:04,860
Why is he singing my song to her?
507
00:34:05,034 --> 00:34:06,899
I guess that's the way a crooner works.
508
00:34:07,070 --> 00:34:08,628
- tried to see it your way
509
00:34:08,805 --> 00:34:11,740
Tried to understand your point of view
510
00:34:12,575 --> 00:34:16,170
But I don't want to see it your way
511
00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:19,713
'Cause your way means we're through
512
00:34:19,916 --> 00:34:24,353
Let's both sit down and talk a while
513
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,580
That's all that I suggest
514
00:34:27,924 --> 00:34:31,758
A word of love, a tender smile
515
00:34:31,928 --> 00:34:35,022
And a kiss or two will do the rest
516
00:34:36,266 --> 00:34:40,134
Your way is the last goodbye way
517
00:34:40,303 --> 00:34:44,069
My way is the end of every tear
518
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:48,006
Won't you try to see it my way?
519
00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:52,978
Try to see it my way, dear
520
00:34:58,021 --> 00:35:02,014
- Well, what are they doing now?
- Maybe they're planning a double suicide.
521
00:35:02,992 --> 00:35:05,426
- That's swell.
- Wait till you hear the rest of them.
522
00:35:05,595 --> 00:35:07,028
There's a great part for you.
523
00:35:07,196 --> 00:35:10,188
- Help me put the show on.
- All right. The show's on and I'm in.
524
00:35:10,366 --> 00:35:14,097
All you've got to do is get me a private
interview with Horace P. Hemingway.
525
00:35:14,270 --> 00:35:16,397
- Is that all you need?
- I'll get enough money...
526
00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:18,563
...to finance Ben-Hur
with solid-gold horses.
527
00:35:18,741 --> 00:35:21,676
- Let's shake on it.
- I'll raise you one. We'll kiss on it.
528
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,072
Barbara. The show's in. Mabel's done it.
529
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:28,547
I don't care what she's done.
530
00:35:28,718 --> 00:35:31,243
And I don't care what happens
to your show or to you.
531
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:33,082
Oh, Barbara, Barbara...
532
00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:34,587
Business before pleasure.
533
00:35:34,757 --> 00:35:36,349
Wait, let's see if I've got it.
534
00:35:39,362 --> 00:35:42,923
Yep, there it is. There's the backer
of our show, and there's the billet-doux.
535
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:47,263
Look out, Uncle Tom Hemingway, here
comes Mabel Legree a-cracking her whip.
536
00:36:04,787 --> 00:36:09,019
Thus, my friends, we form tonight
the kernel of the nut which is to be.
537
00:36:09,258 --> 00:36:13,217
That nut is the Ounce Foundation
for the E. Of the A.M.
538
00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:20,496
Oh, thank... Thank you.
539
00:36:20,670 --> 00:36:22,433
Thank you.
540
00:36:26,743 --> 00:36:29,109
Those magic letters
signify so much to all of us.
541
00:36:29,278 --> 00:36:32,304
What does it mean? My friends,
the elevation of American morals.
542
00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:34,507
That's what it means.
543
00:36:36,919 --> 00:36:39,911
The nut I refer to is going to be
a hard nut to crack.
544
00:36:43,059 --> 00:36:46,927
We all know what a task lies before us.
You know what a task lies before you.
545
00:36:47,096 --> 00:36:50,259
You know, you know and you know.
546
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:57,939
And if the O.F. For the E. Of the A.M.
Shall prevail, and it must prevail...
547
00:36:59,842 --> 00:37:02,675
...every theater in our
wicked city shall be closed.
548
00:37:06,582 --> 00:37:08,846
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway,
our vice president...
549
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:10,383
...will conclude the meeting.
550
00:37:10,553 --> 00:37:13,522
Mr. Horace P. Hemingway.
551
00:37:13,689 --> 00:37:18,251
All right, folks, our honored president
has declared war on the wicked.
552
00:37:20,563 --> 00:37:23,657
Now if you'll just pick up the little
slips of paper which you have...
553
00:37:23,833 --> 00:37:26,859
...we shall all join in the battle cry.
554
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:28,401
Rise, please.
555
00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:31,264
Now, all together.
556
00:37:31,441 --> 00:37:36,003
The Ounce Foundation
for the Elevation of American Morals.
557
00:37:36,179 --> 00:37:37,544
Who are we?
558
00:37:37,713 --> 00:37:40,648
The Ounce Foundation
for the Elevation of American Morals.
559
00:37:40,817 --> 00:37:44,412
Rah-rah-rah.
Ziss-boom bah.
560
00:37:44,587 --> 00:37:47,613
The O.F. For the E. Of the A.M.
561
00:37:49,792 --> 00:37:53,228
The meeting is dismissed.
Thank you. Thank you.
562
00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:56,593
- I'm so glad you could come.
- Goodbye.
563
00:37:58,835 --> 00:38:01,463
- Wonderful.
- The Ounce Foundation.
564
00:38:07,176 --> 00:38:10,407
We are fathering... I mean, mothering
a great movement. Yes, indeed.
565
00:38:11,614 --> 00:38:12,979
Good night. Thank you.
566
00:38:13,149 --> 00:38:17,017
Don't forget the Ounce Foundation
for the Elevation of American Morals.
567
00:38:18,821 --> 00:38:20,152
The Ounce Foundation...
568
00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:27,221
- Is Jimmy there?
- No, he's out. Say, listen, Barbara.
569
00:38:27,396 --> 00:38:29,523
We're writing in a little
dance tune for you.
570
00:38:29,699 --> 00:38:33,191
- But where's Jimmy?
- Out with Mabel, digging up our financing.
571
00:38:33,369 --> 00:38:35,599
Don't write any dance tune for me.
572
00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:39,832
Write them for his Mabel.
I don't ever wanna see him again.
573
00:38:41,310 --> 00:38:43,471
- Was I all right with the battle cry?
- Yes, yes.
574
00:38:43,646 --> 00:38:46,274
- Thank you, Cousin Ezra.
- I was proud of you, Horace.
575
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:49,941
- Yes, it was a remarkable fine meeting.
- Oh, I was thrilled to the core.
576
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:53,384
- Me too.
- Let me see. Oh, it's 10:00.
577
00:38:53,556 --> 00:38:55,217
Way past our bedtime.
578
00:38:55,391 --> 00:38:58,383
Good night. Sleep well
so your loins may be girded for the battle.
579
00:38:58,561 --> 00:39:01,223
- Same to you, Cousin Ezra. Same to you.
- Thank you.
580
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,694
- Good night, Horace.
- Good night, dear.
581
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:03,792
Please don't mention
this unfortunate night to a soul.
582
00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:07,018
Horace P. Hemingway.
583
00:40:08,764 --> 00:40:11,528
You dreadful woman.
How did you get in my room?
584
00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:13,225
Hello, Horace.
585
00:40:13,402 --> 00:40:15,870
- You can't smoke in here.
- I am smoking.
586
00:40:20,076 --> 00:40:21,475
Do I smell cigarette smoke?
587
00:40:21,644 --> 00:40:24,010
Not in this house, Ezra.
588
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,807
Must be someone burning garbage.
589
00:40:26,983 --> 00:40:28,382
Well, good night, Mathilda.
590
00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:30,416
Good night, Ezra.
591
00:40:34,523 --> 00:40:36,753
How did you get in here?
What did you want?
592
00:40:36,926 --> 00:40:39,952
- Twenty thousand dollars.
- T... Twenty what?
593
00:40:40,129 --> 00:40:41,960
Twenty thousand of these.
594
00:40:42,131 --> 00:40:43,723
Twenty thousand dollars.
595
00:40:43,899 --> 00:40:45,560
- Go away.
- Look, honey.
596
00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:48,135
We've played this scene before,
we know how it goes.
597
00:40:48,304 --> 00:40:49,794
Now please don't waste any time.
598
00:40:49,972 --> 00:40:51,667
Give.
599
00:40:54,844 --> 00:40:57,438
Every time I come into this room
I'm afraid of finding you.
600
00:40:57,613 --> 00:40:59,103
I dream about it at night.
601
00:40:59,282 --> 00:41:00,943
I wake up in a cold sweat.
602
00:41:01,117 --> 00:41:03,745
Are you gonna quit stalling
or am I gonna start screaming?
603
00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:07,218
- You wouldn't dare.
- Cousin Ezra...
604
00:41:16,232 --> 00:41:19,998
- What was that?
- Sounds like it came from down here.
605
00:41:26,575 --> 00:41:28,099
Horace?
606
00:41:31,180 --> 00:41:32,647
Yes, Ezra?
607
00:41:32,882 --> 00:41:34,372
Did you hear something just now?
608
00:41:35,051 --> 00:41:36,416
No.
609
00:41:37,053 --> 00:41:39,578
That was just the plumbing.
610
00:41:39,755 --> 00:41:41,382
You mean that little:
611
00:41:41,557 --> 00:41:44,890
Ezra?
612
00:41:45,194 --> 00:41:46,889
Was that the plumbing?
613
00:41:47,063 --> 00:41:51,659
Y... Yes, Mathilda.
Just a little wind in the pipes.
614
00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:54,993
I've heard many a wind in many a pipe,
but never a sound like that.
615
00:41:55,171 --> 00:41:57,230
Well, now, Ezra,
you'd better go back to bed.
616
00:41:57,406 --> 00:42:00,807
Well, there's something amiss here.
I can feel it in my bones.
617
00:42:04,413 --> 00:42:07,109
- Good night, Ezra.
- Good night, Mathilda.
618
00:42:12,254 --> 00:42:15,712
- Lf you ever scream like that again...
- I'll never scream like that again.
619
00:42:15,891 --> 00:42:19,622
Next time you'll hear me a mile away.
It won't sound like no wind in the pipes.
620
00:42:19,795 --> 00:42:21,729
- What will you do?
- What'll you do, Horace?
621
00:42:21,897 --> 00:42:23,296
Don't call me by my first name.
622
00:42:23,466 --> 00:42:26,299
- Okay, P. P's your second name, isn't it?
- P stands for Peter.
623
00:42:26,469 --> 00:42:28,266
All right, Pete, how about the 20 grand?
624
00:42:28,437 --> 00:42:29,927
I feel another scream coming on.
625
00:42:30,106 --> 00:42:33,303
You'd rather give me $20,000 than
lose Ezra's 10 million, wouldn't you?
626
00:42:33,476 --> 00:42:35,341
- How'd you know about that?
- A little bird.
627
00:42:35,611 --> 00:42:36,976
W... Where you going?
628
00:42:37,146 --> 00:42:40,604
- To tell Cousin Ezra what a Romeo you are.
- Oh, no.
629
00:42:41,283 --> 00:42:44,081
I'll tell him about our night.
That we were train roommates.
630
00:42:44,253 --> 00:42:46,244
- I'll show him your card.
- How much?
631
00:42:46,422 --> 00:42:48,356
- Twenty-five thousand.
- You said 20 before.
632
00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:51,118
- Why didn't you pay me before?
- That's every cent I've got.
633
00:42:51,293 --> 00:42:54,160
- I'd cry, but I haven't a handkerchief.
- Lf I give it to you...
634
00:42:54,330 --> 00:42:56,264
...will you give me the card,
let me alone?
635
00:42:56,432 --> 00:42:58,263
- Need you ask?
- All right.
636
00:43:06,675 --> 00:43:08,302
Plumbing, huh?
637
00:43:08,477 --> 00:43:10,809
Wind in the pipe, huh?
638
00:43:13,315 --> 00:43:14,612
- There.
- Twenty-five thousand.
639
00:43:14,784 --> 00:43:16,547
All that fuss over a mere trifle.
640
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,085
You take my last penny
and call it a trifle.
641
00:43:20,456 --> 00:43:23,254
- W... Who is it?
- It's Mathilda.
642
00:43:23,993 --> 00:43:26,257
My wife. Come on, get out here.
643
00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:28,624
- No, I won't get out...
- Here. No, l...
644
00:43:28,798 --> 00:43:30,595
If she catches you in here, I'm ruined.
645
00:43:30,766 --> 00:43:33,496
Come on, get in this closet.
646
00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:45,377
Why... Why, Mathilda. It's you.
647
00:43:46,215 --> 00:43:49,082
I'm your wife, Mathilda. Remember?
648
00:43:49,251 --> 00:43:52,584
L... I was nervous.
I couldn't sleep.
649
00:43:52,755 --> 00:43:56,122
- So you've been to bed?
- Oh, yes, yes, you see? That's... That's it.
650
00:43:56,292 --> 00:43:59,784
Since when do you go to bed
with your pants on?
651
00:43:59,962 --> 00:44:04,126
Well, you see l...
Suddenly I had a heart attack.
652
00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:06,029
Yes.
653
00:44:06,202 --> 00:44:09,831
- You know.
- Lf I don't, I'll find out.
654
00:44:12,141 --> 00:44:13,506
That's the bathroom.
655
00:44:14,143 --> 00:44:17,442
What do you suppose I thought it was?
The Bank of England?
656
00:44:19,014 --> 00:44:22,142
- W... Where you going now?
- You'll find out.
657
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:33,258
- Goodbye, fatty.
- Conspiracy. Conspiracy.
658
00:44:38,367 --> 00:44:41,029
Well, only a few weeks more
and the $ 10 million is yours.
659
00:44:41,203 --> 00:44:43,330
Providing you don't make me
change my mind.
660
00:44:43,506 --> 00:44:45,337
Thank you, Ezra. Thank you very much.
661
00:44:45,508 --> 00:44:47,499
You don't know
how generous you are, Ezra.
662
00:44:47,676 --> 00:44:49,337
Now how about a bite of lunch?
663
00:44:49,512 --> 00:44:51,036
Well, I do feel a bit peckish.
664
00:44:51,213 --> 00:44:54,341
Oh, I know a real nice place
where we can get a healthful meal.
665
00:44:54,517 --> 00:44:56,985
- Well, let's go there.
- Oh, yes.
666
00:45:02,091 --> 00:45:04,082
Just a minute. Just a minute.
667
00:45:04,260 --> 00:45:06,990
I found the first object for our
foundation to crush.
668
00:45:07,162 --> 00:45:10,427
James Higgens is rehearsing a play on
Broadway entitled Sweet and Hot.
669
00:45:10,599 --> 00:45:13,625
Just read that disgraceful item,
Horace. Read that.
670
00:45:14,236 --> 00:45:16,704
Sweet and Hot, Jimmy Higgens'
torrid musical comedy...
671
00:45:16,872 --> 00:45:18,897
...springs from the fountain of youth.
672
00:45:19,074 --> 00:45:22,066
Author, songwriters and actors
are all youngsters.
673
00:45:23,212 --> 00:45:25,407
- Go on, go on.
- Jimmy's backer is said to be...
674
00:45:25,581 --> 00:45:27,981
...none other than a big businessman...
675
00:45:28,150 --> 00:45:33,520
...who is very much interested
in the career of Mabel Anderson.
676
00:45:34,056 --> 00:45:38,015
Well, it was horrible enough for Jimmy
to write such a terrible play...
677
00:45:38,193 --> 00:45:40,593
...but any man who would
finance such an outrage...
678
00:45:40,763 --> 00:45:42,458
...should be tarred and feathered.
679
00:45:42,631 --> 00:45:44,963
The Ounce Foundation
shall run him out of town.
680
00:45:45,134 --> 00:45:48,035
I myself shall give him
a scathing rebuke.
681
00:45:48,203 --> 00:45:50,364
We'll attend the opening
of this production.
682
00:45:50,539 --> 00:45:52,939
- And denounce it to the world.
- Will you excuse me?
683
00:45:53,108 --> 00:45:57,135
A conference with a lot of big, sausage
casing men from Australia. See you tonight.
684
00:45:57,580 --> 00:46:00,276
Not a word about our attitude
toward Sweet and Hot.
685
00:46:00,449 --> 00:46:01,973
We must swoop down on them.
686
00:46:02,151 --> 00:46:05,643
Oh, yes, Ezra, swoop down on them
like an eagle from the sky.
687
00:46:05,921 --> 00:46:08,253
- Well, goodbye, Ezra.
- Goodbye, Horace.
688
00:46:08,424 --> 00:46:10,619
- Goodbye, Mathilda.
- Goodbye, Horace.
689
00:46:10,793 --> 00:46:14,092
You know Horace's heart and soul
is with the Ounce Foundation.
690
00:46:14,263 --> 00:46:15,525
I know.
691
00:46:54,036 --> 00:46:56,266
Say, that kid can dance.
692
00:47:07,449 --> 00:47:10,441
Say, you'll do, kid. Go up
and get measured for costumes.
693
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,780
Oh, gee, thanks.
694
00:47:13,255 --> 00:47:15,621
All right, girls, take it easy.
695
00:47:17,926 --> 00:47:20,793
Say, that kid's got plenty of stuff.
Who is she?
696
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:22,453
I don't know. What name she give?
697
00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:25,794
Joan Grey. Never heard of her.
She'll do till a better one comes along.
698
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:27,401
Okay.
699
00:47:27,569 --> 00:47:31,198
All right, kids. Come on, places now.
Let's get set. Let's get started.
700
00:47:31,373 --> 00:47:33,534
All right, Buttercup, hit it.
701
00:47:40,849 --> 00:47:42,077
Hiya, pop.
702
00:47:42,251 --> 00:47:44,048
Go away, go away.
703
00:48:06,508 --> 00:48:09,443
Burn my clothes, if it isn't Romeo,
our financial backer.
704
00:48:11,146 --> 00:48:13,239
I wonder what's on his mind. Come on.
705
00:48:20,656 --> 00:48:22,920
- Well, well, Uncle Horace.
- Hello, Hemie.
706
00:48:23,092 --> 00:48:25,993
James, a word with you.
707
00:48:30,466 --> 00:48:33,367
- See here, young man...
- Congratulations, Horace, congratulations.
708
00:48:33,535 --> 00:48:36,470
- On what?
- Defying Uncle Ezra and seeing our show.
709
00:48:36,638 --> 00:48:39,630
I'm not defying Ezra.
And this show has got to stop right now.
710
00:48:39,808 --> 00:48:42,504
Got to stop? Fat chance,
Uncle Horace, fat chance.
711
00:48:42,678 --> 00:48:44,976
You young scoundrel. It's my money.
712
00:48:45,147 --> 00:48:47,411
It was your money.
You're a credit to this country.
713
00:48:47,583 --> 00:48:50,143
- You put a lot of people to work.
- Not this kind of work.
714
00:48:50,319 --> 00:48:53,686
- Lf this gets out, I'm ruined.
- You'll take bows when the show opens.
715
00:48:53,856 --> 00:48:56,723
This show is not going to open.
716
00:49:02,397 --> 00:49:05,889
Stop it. Everybody, stop it.
This show is off, understand?
717
00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:09,435
- You're all dismissed.
- Girls, girls. Don't pay any attention to him.
718
00:49:09,605 --> 00:49:11,300
This show must not go on.
719
00:49:11,473 --> 00:49:16,035
He's only our backer and we've already
got the money. Feed him to the lions.
720
00:49:30,559 --> 00:49:35,622
Help. Help.
Let me go, let me go, let me go.
721
00:49:37,666 --> 00:49:40,692
Back to rehearsal. Let's go, everybody.
Come on. Snap into it.
722
00:49:47,643 --> 00:49:50,441
I'll call the police.
I'll have you arrested for assault.
723
00:49:50,612 --> 00:49:53,172
Go ahead, Uncle Horace.
We'd be glad to get the publicity.
724
00:49:53,348 --> 00:49:55,316
- Publicity?
- Sure. Horace P. Hemingway...
725
00:49:55,484 --> 00:49:56,781
...big sausage man in town...
726
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:59,546
...gives chorus girl $25,000
to put on show...
727
00:49:59,721 --> 00:50:02,383
...puts a lot of people out of work...
- No, no, no.
728
00:50:02,558 --> 00:50:04,685
Please don't do anything like that.
729
00:50:04,860 --> 00:50:06,259
Go ahead and rehearse.
730
00:50:06,428 --> 00:50:08,896
But promise me that Ezra
won't find out about me.
731
00:50:09,064 --> 00:50:10,964
Now, don't you worry, because...
732
00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:15,934
All right, girls. Come on, come on. Get
into it. Hit the deck. Let's see it.
733
00:50:16,171 --> 00:50:17,832
- Barbara.
- Hit it, Buttercup.
734
00:50:20,409 --> 00:50:23,003
- Barbara.
- My name is Joan Grey.
735
00:50:23,178 --> 00:50:24,406
You go put on some clothes.
736
00:50:24,580 --> 00:50:26,980
- I have them on.
- Why, that's disgraceful.
737
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:29,515
Barbara's just a visitor.
She's not in the show.
738
00:50:29,685 --> 00:50:31,209
Oh, is that so?
739
00:50:31,386 --> 00:50:34,480
You asked me to come to rehearsal,
and your dance director hired me.
740
00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,647
I got in the show,
and I'm going to stay in.
741
00:50:36,825 --> 00:50:39,453
Now, now, now, honey,
maybe your father's right.
742
00:50:39,628 --> 00:50:41,459
You don't want me around, is that it?
743
00:50:41,630 --> 00:50:44,758
Afraid I'll cramp your style
with your darling Mabel?
744
00:50:44,933 --> 00:50:47,231
I've heard enough of this.
You get some clothes on.
745
00:50:47,469 --> 00:50:49,096
I don't care what either of you say.
746
00:50:49,271 --> 00:50:51,034
I'm free, white and 21.
747
00:50:51,206 --> 00:50:53,265
I love to dance and I'm going to dance.
748
00:50:53,442 --> 00:50:57,435
And if you fire me from this show,
I'll get a job in another one.
749
00:51:00,782 --> 00:51:04,479
Wait till Ezra and Mathilda hear
about this. I'm ruined. Sunk. Lost.
750
00:51:04,653 --> 00:51:06,985
Listen, you don't really
think we'd let Barbara...
751
00:51:07,155 --> 00:51:08,622
...appear in a professional show?
752
00:51:08,790 --> 00:51:10,257
Why, she can't. She's an amateur.
753
00:51:10,425 --> 00:51:12,188
Helen Wills is an amateur in tennis.
754
00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:15,353
- She can't play pro tennis, can she?
- I don't know, can she?
755
00:51:15,530 --> 00:51:17,589
Why, of course she can't.
Now, don't you worry.
756
00:51:17,766 --> 00:51:20,200
I can handle Barbara.
Besides, the show's a bit long...
757
00:51:20,369 --> 00:51:23,099
...and we're gonna cut out
all the numbers that Barbara's in.
758
00:51:23,272 --> 00:51:26,901
If Ezra ever finds out
anything about anything...
759
00:51:27,075 --> 00:51:30,238
...he'll cut me off
like a ripe banana. He said so.
760
00:51:30,412 --> 00:51:32,209
How's he ever gonna hear of it?
761
00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:34,042
He always has his ear
to the ground.
762
00:51:34,583 --> 00:51:37,381
Lot of newspapermen to see you
about the show, Mr. Higgens.
763
00:51:37,552 --> 00:51:39,747
- This is the end.
- Now you go hide someplace...
764
00:51:39,922 --> 00:51:41,480
...I'll take care of everything.
765
00:51:44,559 --> 00:51:45,787
- Hi, Jimmy.
- Hello, Jimmy.
766
00:51:45,961 --> 00:51:48,156
- Hi, boys.
- Who's this secret backer of yours?
767
00:51:48,330 --> 00:51:49,661
Can't tell you just now, boys.
768
00:51:49,831 --> 00:51:52,197
I get it. The more mysterious,
the more publicity.
769
00:51:52,367 --> 00:51:53,925
You've got the right idea.
770
00:51:57,639 --> 00:52:00,267
This is the one. Put it in the alley.
771
00:52:48,623 --> 00:52:51,091
Here they come. Finally.
772
00:53:02,571 --> 00:53:04,732
- Have you seen Barbara yet?
- Hasn't she shown up?
773
00:53:04,906 --> 00:53:06,874
- Hasn't she even called?
- Not a peep.
774
00:53:07,042 --> 00:53:08,509
I told you about amateurs.
775
00:53:08,677 --> 00:53:11,373
She probably forgot it's the opening
and made another date.
776
00:53:11,546 --> 00:53:13,446
- You know the opening number?
- Backwards.
777
00:53:13,615 --> 00:53:16,675
Put on Barbara's costume.
If I drop dead from all this, play my part.
778
00:53:16,852 --> 00:53:18,149
Come on, Mabel, we're late.
779
00:53:20,956 --> 00:53:23,254
Hurry up, will you, Mabel?
Go ahead, hurry.
780
00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,053
Hold that curtain. We can't start.
The leading lady hasn't shown up.
781
00:53:28,230 --> 00:53:29,697
Okay, boss.
782
00:53:31,266 --> 00:53:34,429
My, I'm so glad Barbara
didn't tease to go.
783
00:53:34,603 --> 00:53:36,468
I'd never permit it.
She's much too young.
784
00:53:36,638 --> 00:53:38,606
- Yes, yes, indeedy.
- Yes.
785
00:53:38,774 --> 00:53:41,038
Bulger? Are your loins
girded for the battle?
786
00:53:41,209 --> 00:53:43,803
The loins is ready to roar.
787
00:53:49,418 --> 00:53:51,750
Are these gentlemen
capable and fearless?
788
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,184
Sure, they's the cream of the crop.
789
00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:56,119
They understand my signal for action?
790
00:53:56,291 --> 00:53:59,158
Sure, when you takes out
your handkerchief and waves it...
791
00:53:59,327 --> 00:54:00,851
...they gives it the works.
792
00:54:01,029 --> 00:54:02,257
- Right.
- Right.
793
00:54:02,431 --> 00:54:04,422
Mathilda, Horace, forward.
794
00:54:04,599 --> 00:54:07,295
Ezra, don't you think
you're going a trifle too far?
795
00:54:07,469 --> 00:54:11,735
No, evil must be met with force.
Ezra Ounce is merciless when aroused.
796
00:54:41,803 --> 00:54:43,134
Overture.
797
00:54:43,438 --> 00:54:45,099
Come on, everybody, places, will you?
798
00:54:45,273 --> 00:54:46,831
On stage. Everybody. Come on.
799
00:54:47,008 --> 00:54:48,566
Curtain.
800
00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:58,678
Ezra, have you discovered who is
backing this nefarious enterprise?
801
00:55:00,155 --> 00:55:03,124
We find out tonight. Tonight is my night.
802
00:55:03,725 --> 00:55:05,784
- W... Will you excuse me a minute?
- Gladly.
803
00:55:05,961 --> 00:55:07,223
Now, hurry back, Horace.
804
00:55:07,395 --> 00:55:09,226
I'll be right back. Yes.
805
00:55:09,397 --> 00:55:11,831
Not yet, Ezra, the handkerchief.
806
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,594
You can't stop the show
before it's started.
807
00:55:14,769 --> 00:55:17,067
Just a little excited, that's all.
808
00:55:19,307 --> 00:55:21,298
- Ezra.
- Thank you.
809
00:55:28,984 --> 00:55:30,713
Hey, I gotta talk to you.
810
00:55:30,886 --> 00:55:33,446
You certainly picked a swell time.
Places, everybody.
811
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:36,557
- I mean it. This is serious.
- You're serious and I'm going daffy.
812
00:55:36,725 --> 00:55:39,558
- Tell Mabel to step on it, will you.
- Mabel, step on it.
813
00:55:39,728 --> 00:55:41,525
- This is the point.
- What is? Mabel?
814
00:55:41,696 --> 00:55:44,631
No, this. Ezra's gonna give me
$ 10 million tomorrow.
815
00:55:44,799 --> 00:55:47,029
I'll give you a million dollars
if you don't open.
816
00:55:47,202 --> 00:55:49,636
My first show on Broadway.
Is Mabel ready?
817
00:55:49,804 --> 00:55:53,365
- Mabel, hurry up.
- I've worked, hoped, dreamed for this night.
818
00:55:53,542 --> 00:55:55,874
I've aged five years
and lost 12 pounds at rehearsal.
819
00:55:56,044 --> 00:55:58,706
I'm about to pull the curtain
on the most important thing...
820
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,348
...in my life and you come blubbering
for me to stop.
821
00:56:01,516 --> 00:56:03,541
- Scram, will you?
- I'll give you two million.
822
00:56:03,718 --> 00:56:06,209
I'll give you two seconds
to get out. Clear the stage.
823
00:56:06,388 --> 00:56:10,188
Hurry on, girls. Plenty of pep now.
Give me a big smile out there.
824
00:56:10,659 --> 00:56:12,957
On stage. Come on, hurry.
825
00:56:13,128 --> 00:56:14,652
Come on,
get out of here, will you?
826
00:56:14,829 --> 00:56:16,592
- Jimmy, I'm late.
- I'll say. Too late.
827
00:56:16,765 --> 00:56:19,097
- Barbara, what are you doing here?
- I'm in this show.
828
00:56:19,267 --> 00:56:21,292
You told me amateurs
couldn't play tennis.
829
00:56:21,469 --> 00:56:24,529
- Who's asking her to play tennis?
- Lf you step out on that stage...
830
00:56:24,706 --> 00:56:27,504
...you're no longer my daughter.
- We'll argue that later.
831
00:56:28,710 --> 00:56:31,736
- I'm ready.
- She has on my costume. Take it off.
832
00:56:31,913 --> 00:56:34,040
Sorry, I take orders from Jimmy.
Hello, Horace.
833
00:56:34,216 --> 00:56:36,411
Jimmy, I couldn't sneak out
until after 8...
834
00:56:36,585 --> 00:56:40,112
...and my taxi got caught in a traffic jam.
- Well, you didn't show. Mabel did.
835
00:56:40,355 --> 00:56:43,984
- Lf you let her step on that stage, I'II...
- Get out of here, leave us alone...
836
00:56:44,159 --> 00:56:46,150
...or I'll tell them
you're backing the show.
837
00:56:46,328 --> 00:56:47,761
No, no, don't do that. I'll go.
838
00:56:47,929 --> 00:56:50,864
Come on, get out.
All right, everybody, on stage. Come on.
839
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:53,825
I wonder what happened to Horace.
840
00:56:54,002 --> 00:56:56,334
I hope the excitement
isn't too much for him.
841
00:56:56,504 --> 00:56:58,870
He's so enthusiastic.
842
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:00,507
Oh, my.
843
00:57:01,676 --> 00:57:03,268
Thank you.
844
00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:11,982
Bulger, this elixir tastes a little strange.
845
00:57:12,153 --> 00:57:14,212
That's the new triple-strength kind.
846
00:57:14,389 --> 00:57:17,483
A case just came down
from Buffalo this afternoon.
847
00:57:17,659 --> 00:57:20,321
Oh, I'm so sorry you don't like it, Ezra.
848
00:57:20,495 --> 00:57:22,463
Who said I didn't like it?
849
00:57:24,966 --> 00:57:27,366
Kill your house lights.
Get ready for the curtain.
850
00:57:29,571 --> 00:57:32,404
Horace, where have you been?
851
01:04:12,874 --> 01:04:15,502
There's nothing so dreadful about that.
Think so, Ezra?
852
01:04:15,677 --> 01:04:18,646
Well, they're saving the worst
for later. Wait and see.
853
01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:21,509
No nudity at all. I'm disappointed.
854
01:04:21,683 --> 01:04:24,243
Agreeably, of course.
855
01:04:35,196 --> 01:04:37,061
Barbara.
856
01:04:38,566 --> 01:04:39,897
A fine fishel of kettle...
857
01:04:40,068 --> 01:04:43,765
Kettle of fish. Your daughter.
Treachery in our own ranks.
858
01:04:44,072 --> 01:04:49,135
Oh, Horace, the pity of it. Our daughter.
Our flesh and blood. A painted actress.
859
01:04:50,745 --> 01:04:53,771
Quick, Bulger, a bottle of that elixir.
Excitement has unnerved her.
860
01:04:53,948 --> 01:04:56,416
I don't feel so well myself.
Give me a bottle of...
861
01:04:56,584 --> 01:04:59,417
I'll take one if you don't mind.
862
01:04:59,921 --> 01:05:03,516
How can you control $ 10 million?
You can't even control your own daughter.
863
01:05:03,691 --> 01:05:06,558
Oh, Ezra, are you gonna
cut me off like a ripe banana?
864
01:05:06,828 --> 01:05:08,227
A ripe banana.
865
01:05:08,429 --> 01:05:10,226
I'm just a victim of fate.
866
01:05:49,070 --> 01:05:51,766
'Cause I only have eyes
867
01:05:51,939 --> 01:05:54,669
For you
868
01:05:57,812 --> 01:05:59,370
- One seat, please.
- How many?
869
01:05:59,547 --> 01:06:02,015
- One.
- There you are.
870
01:06:06,487 --> 01:06:07,852
Got a couple in the balcony?
871
01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:11,183
Well, you got the last two, mister.
And am I glad.
872
01:06:17,165 --> 01:06:23,661
And I only have eyes for you
873
01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:27,734
Are the stars out tonight?
874
01:06:27,909 --> 01:06:30,969
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
875
01:06:31,145 --> 01:06:37,641
'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear
876
01:06:37,819 --> 01:06:40,811
The moon may be high
877
01:06:40,988 --> 01:06:44,048
But I can't see a thing in the sky
878
01:06:44,225 --> 01:06:50,721
'Cause I only have eyes for you
879
01:06:51,399 --> 01:06:57,395
I don't know if we're in a garden
880
01:06:57,572 --> 01:07:02,339
Or on a crowded avenue
881
01:07:02,510 --> 01:07:08,449
You are here, so am I
882
01:07:08,616 --> 01:07:11,881
Maybe millions of people go by
883
01:07:12,053 --> 01:07:18,549
But they all disappear from view
884
01:07:18,726 --> 01:07:24,961
And I only have eyes
885
01:07:25,166 --> 01:07:28,795
For you
886
01:07:33,140 --> 01:07:36,041
Are the stars out tonight?
887
01:07:36,210 --> 01:07:39,111
- He doesn't know if it's cloudy or bright.
- That's right.
888
01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:44,843
'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear
889
01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:47,510
The moon may be high.
890
01:07:47,688 --> 01:07:50,486
- But he can't see a thing in the sky.
- Why?
891
01:07:50,658 --> 01:07:56,563
'Cause I only have eyes for you
892
01:07:56,731 --> 01:08:00,030
Now you don't know
if you're in a garden, do you?
893
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,429
Come on, answer me.
894
01:08:02,270 --> 01:08:04,534
Or on a crowed avenue.
895
01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:07,503
Be truthful. Never mind.
896
01:08:07,675 --> 01:08:09,939
You're here, so am I.
897
01:08:10,111 --> 01:08:12,375
Maybe millions of people go by.
898
01:08:12,546 --> 01:08:15,276
- Yes, but they all disappear.
- Where?
899
01:08:15,449 --> 01:08:18,077
From view
900
01:08:18,252 --> 01:08:24,122
And I only have eyes for you
901
01:08:24,992 --> 01:08:28,655
My love must be a kind of blind love
902
01:08:29,864 --> 01:08:33,231
I can't see anyone but you
903
01:08:34,468 --> 01:08:39,167
And, dear, I wonder if you find love
904
01:08:39,340 --> 01:08:44,903
An optical illusion too?
905
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:48,242
Are the stars out tonight?
906
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:51,112
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
907
01:08:51,285 --> 01:08:56,917
'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear
908
01:08:57,091 --> 01:08:59,685
The moon may be high
909
01:08:59,860 --> 01:09:02,556
But I can't see a thing in the sky
910
01:09:02,730 --> 01:09:08,191
'Cause I only have eyes for you
911
01:09:08,369 --> 01:09:13,830
Yes, I only have eyes
912
01:09:14,241 --> 01:09:18,871
For you
913
01:13:55,856 --> 01:14:01,123
And I only have eyes for you.
914
01:14:29,823 --> 01:14:32,792
Are the stars out tonight?
915
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,622
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
916
01:14:35,796 --> 01:14:41,257
'Cause I only have eyes for you, dear
917
01:14:41,435 --> 01:14:43,995
The moon may be high
918
01:14:44,171 --> 01:14:46,935
But I can't see a thing in the sky
919
01:14:47,107 --> 01:14:53,137
'Cause I only have eyes for you
920
01:14:53,314 --> 01:14:58,183
I don't know if we're in a garden
921
01:14:58,952 --> 01:15:02,820
Or on a crowded avenue
922
01:15:02,990 --> 01:15:06,721
You are here, so am I
923
01:15:06,894 --> 01:15:09,522
Maybe millions of people go by
924
01:15:09,697 --> 01:15:15,067
But they all disappear from view
925
01:15:15,235 --> 01:15:19,968
And I only have eyes
926
01:15:20,307 --> 01:15:25,404
For you
927
01:15:34,822 --> 01:15:36,289
Very beautiful.
928
01:15:36,457 --> 01:15:38,550
Very, very beautiful.
929
01:15:38,726 --> 01:15:43,823
Oh, very, very, very beautiful.
930
01:15:45,799 --> 01:15:50,759
Ezzy, you wouldn't cut off poor old
Horace like a ripe banana, would you?
931
01:15:50,938 --> 01:15:54,840
No, Horacey, not like a ripe banana.
Like a ripe avocado.
932
01:15:57,578 --> 01:15:59,603
Boys. Quiet.
933
01:16:00,180 --> 01:16:02,011
- How we doing?
- We're doing all right.
934
01:16:02,182 --> 01:16:04,446
- The customers love you.
- Do you like me?
935
01:16:04,618 --> 01:16:07,348
- Do I what?
- Am I forgiven for being late?
936
01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:08,954
Ask me if I like you again.
937
01:16:09,123 --> 01:16:10,385
Do you like me, Jimmy?
938
01:16:10,557 --> 01:16:11,854
Now ask me if I love you.
939
01:16:12,025 --> 01:16:13,959
Well, do you love me?
940
01:16:14,128 --> 01:16:16,619
- Ask me after the show.
- You think I won't?
941
01:16:28,542 --> 01:16:32,273
I tell you, gentlemen. If I'm going to
put any money into this show...
942
01:16:32,446 --> 01:16:34,971
...I want to be sure that we get
the best music possible.
943
01:16:35,149 --> 01:16:38,209
You're absolutely right.
Great songs draw people into the theater.
944
01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:42,321
The story's what's important. I don't put
in a cent until we get the best playwright...
945
01:16:42,489 --> 01:16:45,049
Listen, nobody cares about the story.
People want songs.
946
01:16:45,225 --> 01:16:47,420
Right, V.C. We've got
to get good snappy music.
947
01:16:47,594 --> 01:16:49,562
You've got to have a great leading man.
948
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:51,493
You said it.
949
01:16:51,665 --> 01:16:54,065
- Mr. McDonald of the Commercial Trust.
- Can't see him.
950
01:16:54,234 --> 01:16:56,293
I tell you it's the story
that makes the show.
951
01:16:56,470 --> 01:16:58,938
- No, sir, it's the cast.
- It's the publicity.
952
01:16:59,106 --> 01:17:00,903
The music.
953
01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:04,510
Gentlemen, please, please.
Just think for a moment.
954
01:17:04,678 --> 01:17:06,441
Who writes the words and music
955
01:17:06,613 --> 01:17:08,513
For all the girlie shows?
956
01:17:08,682 --> 01:17:12,482
No one cares
And no one knows
957
01:17:12,653 --> 01:17:14,416
Who is the handsome hero
958
01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,283
Some villain always frames?
959
01:17:16,457 --> 01:17:18,482
But who cares if there's a plot or not
960
01:17:18,659 --> 01:17:21,389
When they've got a lot of dames?
961
01:17:21,562 --> 01:17:23,496
What do you go for?
962
01:17:23,664 --> 01:17:25,996
Go see a show for?
Tell the truth
963
01:17:26,166 --> 01:17:29,658
You go to see those beautiful dames
Yes, sir
964
01:17:29,837 --> 01:17:33,034
You spend your dough for
Bouquets that grow for
965
01:17:33,207 --> 01:17:37,166
All those cute and cunning
Young and beautiful dames
966
01:17:37,344 --> 01:17:40,609
Oh, dames
Are temporary flames
967
01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:42,908
To you, dames
968
01:17:43,083 --> 01:17:45,984
You don't recall their names
Do you?
969
01:17:46,153 --> 01:17:49,520
But their caresses
And home addresses
970
01:17:49,690 --> 01:17:53,148
Linger in your memory
Of those beautiful dames
971
01:17:54,428 --> 01:17:56,020
- Yes?
- Mr. Earl Farroll to see you.
972
01:17:56,196 --> 01:17:58,061
- Can't see him.
- Also Mr. George Hershwin.
973
01:17:58,232 --> 01:17:59,995
Tell him, Tomorrow. Now, gentlemen...
974
01:18:00,167 --> 01:18:02,067
- Well?
- Miss Dolly Devoe to see you.
975
01:18:02,236 --> 01:18:03,999
Show her right in.
976
01:18:07,908 --> 01:18:09,136
- Miss Devoe?
- Yes.
977
01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:11,743
- Come right in.
- Thank you. Kind of you to see me.
978
01:18:11,912 --> 01:18:14,472
Oh, not at all. Yes?
979
01:18:14,648 --> 01:18:18,049
- Miss Dubin, Miss Warren, Miss Kelly, Miss...
- Send them all in.
980
01:18:18,519 --> 01:18:20,851
Come right in, girls.
981
01:18:22,389 --> 01:18:24,118
Leave your addresses
982
01:18:24,791 --> 01:18:28,158
My big successes
All depend a lot upon
983
01:18:28,328 --> 01:18:30,523
You beautiful dames
984
01:18:31,231 --> 01:18:35,463
As I was telling all those gentlemen
A while ago
985
01:18:35,636 --> 01:18:38,537
That what do we go for
986
01:18:38,705 --> 01:18:40,935
Go see a show for
Tell the truth
987
01:18:41,108 --> 01:18:44,271
We go to see you beautiful dames
988
01:18:45,212 --> 01:18:48,978
We spend our dough for
Bouquets that grow for
989
01:18:49,149 --> 01:18:53,609
All you cute and cunning
Young and beautiful dames
990
01:18:53,787 --> 01:18:58,747
Oh, dames are necessary
To show business
991
01:18:58,926 --> 01:19:03,192
Dames, without you there would be
No business
992
01:19:03,363 --> 01:19:06,855
Your knees in action
That's the attraction
993
01:19:07,034 --> 01:19:11,471
And what good's a show
Without you beautiful dames?
994
01:19:11,939 --> 01:19:14,271
Rehearsal tomorrow, 11:00
995
01:19:14,441 --> 01:19:16,602
Be there promptly by then
996
01:19:16,777 --> 01:19:19,837
Better set your alarm clocks for 9
997
01:19:20,013 --> 01:19:25,041
At least no later than 10
998
01:26:54,901 --> 01:27:00,430
Hooray for the Ounce Foundation
For the Elevation of Celebration. Hooray.
999
01:27:00,607 --> 01:27:04,008
The O.P. For the E. Of the A.F.M.
1000
01:27:04,978 --> 01:27:08,607
Boys. Be quiet.
Those people are all staring at you.
1001
01:27:08,782 --> 01:27:11,808
Well, they couldn't be staring
at a better couple of men.
1002
01:27:12,419 --> 01:27:15,513
- He's getting ready.
- It won't be long now.
1003
01:27:52,725 --> 01:27:55,455
That creature's trying to lure you boys.
1004
01:27:55,628 --> 01:27:59,462
Impossible. I never even
saw her before in my whole life.
1005
01:27:59,632 --> 01:28:02,726
She's a very nice, friendly young lady.
1006
01:28:29,796 --> 01:28:31,491
Stop this show.
1007
01:28:36,269 --> 01:28:38,203
Keep going. Keep going, girls.
1008
01:28:38,838 --> 01:28:41,932
What's the matter? Girls, girls.
1009
01:28:44,644 --> 01:28:46,839
Oh, Ezra, you started it, now stop it.
1010
01:28:47,013 --> 01:28:48,640
I knew I should've stayed at home.
1011
01:29:24,984 --> 01:29:26,918
Quiet. Quiet.
1012
01:29:27,086 --> 01:29:29,850
Oh, Horace, get away from
those shameless women.
1013
01:29:30,023 --> 01:29:34,119
Oh, Mathilda, go away
and leave me alone. I'm in jail.
1014
01:29:35,061 --> 01:29:36,289
Silence.
1015
01:29:36,462 --> 01:29:40,023
Mr. Ounce, I've arranged to
get you out of this terrible jail.
1016
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:42,498
Yes, but I don't wanna
get out of jail. I like it.
1017
01:29:42,669 --> 01:29:45,695
I never had a better time in my life.
1018
01:29:46,673 --> 01:29:49,836
But, Ezra, think
of the Ounce Foundation.
1019
01:29:50,009 --> 01:29:52,136
You know what I think
of the Ounce Foundation?
1020
01:29:52,312 --> 01:29:53,540
Phooey.
1021
01:29:56,249 --> 01:30:00,185
We'll get a million dollars' worth of publicity
out of this. The show will run a year.
1022
01:30:00,353 --> 01:30:02,685
Maybe we owe Uncle Ezra
a vote of thanks.
1023
01:30:02,855 --> 01:30:04,846
I'll offer him a job
as company press agent.
1024
01:30:05,024 --> 01:30:08,516
Say, by the way, I was going
to ask you something after the show.
1025
01:30:08,695 --> 01:30:09,923
Is it all right now?
1026
01:30:10,096 --> 01:30:12,929
You couldn't pick a better time
or a better place.
1
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,422
Where should we go, honey?
Bermuda or California?
2
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,525
Well... uh...
3
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:06,694
As usual, I'll have to make up
your mind for you.
4
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,995
Oh thanks, Vernon, honey.
5
00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,030
Bermuda, tomorrow morning.
6
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,999
- Tomorrow morning?
- Too soon?
7
00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:13,300
Not soon enough.
8
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,168
Your cue, Mr. Lowndes.
9
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,437
My cue, Mrs. Lowndes.
10
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,479
Good evening Mr. Hudson.
Hello, Ed.
11
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,054
Mike, hello.
And goodbye.
12
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,424
We're leaving town
in the morning.
13
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,558
Julie can go with my blessing.
14
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,828
Show's been running three
years. She's deserves a rest.
15
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:42,995
- Thanks.
- But you don't.
16
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,698
Where's the new show you've
been promising me?
17
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,735
You haven't written one line
since poor Marty got killed.
18
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,502
Please, don't tell me
what a great writing team
19
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,137
Marty and I were,
and how much I miss him.
20
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,374
I miss him more than you do.
He was money in the bank.
21
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,710
Yeah, and Julie keeps telling me
what a great husband Marty was, too.
22
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,578
Pretty tough to follow,
wasn't he?
23
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,656
Closing night. They won't go
home until you've given a speech.
24
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:50,757
You do it, Vernon.
25
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,393
Oh no, I'm gonna get the car.
26
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,862
Don't make it a long speech,
honey. We're off salary time.
27
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,737
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
28
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,941
I only wish it were three years ago and
our show was opening instead of closing.
29
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,981
I know your applause is meant
not only for me, but for
30
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,419
Mike Hudson, our producer,
and for Vernon Lowndes,
31
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,087
Not only a fine dancer
but a fine writer, too.
32
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,191
My only regret is
33
00:05:24,256 --> 00:05:27,794
That his collaborator, that talented
young man who also staged this show
34
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,831
Isn't here to share
this moment.
35
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,799
He lies in a hero's grave,
36
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,134
Far across the sea.
37
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:39,373
Marty Stewart, who gave so
much of himself to the theater.
38
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,509
No one appreciated his genius
more than I.
39
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:45,012
I was not only
his leading lady.
40
00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:46,847
In those day I was his wife.
41
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,316
So while those of us
who are still alive are
42
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:54,021
Hearing your applause,
and taking our bows,
43
00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:58,257
We know in our hearts it is
really his night, not ours.
44
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,000
Marty!
45
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,301
Oh!
46
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,405
House lights!
House lights!
47
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,411
Please everyone, will you leave the
dressing room. Come on now, please.
48
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:53,413
I'm sorry, honey,
well, you know how it is.
49
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:56,183
A guy gets back from overseas, he just
doesn't stop to think. Will you forgive me?
50
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:02,589
Oh, everything is gonna be just
beautiful as soon as I get you home.
51
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,157
Home!
52
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,529
Mike, I think we better leave
her alone for a while.
53
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,432
I'll help her get dressed. Come on, give
her a chance to pull herself together.
54
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,700
Okay, all right.
55
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,602
- I'll be waiting for you.
- Come on, son.
56
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,673
How do you feel?
57
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:21,975
Numb.
58
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,379
It's quite a shock discovering
your husband is still alive.
59
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,316
Who's gonna tell your
other husband?
60
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:33,820
The one who's out in the car? With the
tickets to Bermuda in his hot little fist?
61
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,255
- I wonder...
- Don't look at me.
62
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,825
Once upon a time,
I fell in love with him.
63
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,160
You married him.
64
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,596
Oh, then you tell Marty.
65
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,932
Oh I couldn't. I don't know if
you know this but...
66
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,101
I was a little starry-eyed
about him, too.
67
00:07:49,301 --> 00:07:51,904
All right, I guess it's
my place.
68
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,642
For once I've got to make up
my mind and do something.
69
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,177
I'll tell Vernon,
I'll tell him right now.
70
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,046
I'll...
71
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,113
I'll...
72
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,916
Gwen, won't you tell him.
73
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,987
There's an old saying,
You made your own bed...
74
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,615
Vernon.
75
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,718
That was kind of
a long speech.
76
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,186
I have something to tell you.
77
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:42,122
Don't. The way I feel, we may
not bother to talk for days.
78
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,692
But it's about my speech.
79
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,194
I know it by heart.
80
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:50,462
My only regret is that the talented
young man who also staged the show
81
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,464
Is not here to share
this moment.
82
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,433
- But he is.
- What?
83
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,936
- He just kissed me.
- Who kissed you?
84
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,706
- Marty.
- Marty who?
85
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,207
Marty Stewart.
86
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,343
Darling, look. Marty's dead.
87
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,179
He's been dead for two years.
88
00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,282
You'd never know it by the way
he kissed me.
89
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:13,921
Now look, honey, I know how
sentimental you get about things.
90
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:17,189
Remember how that little dog got run
over, and you kept dreaming he'd come back.
91
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,660
Well, he didn't come back.
And Marty didn't come back.
92
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:22,829
Now, come on, let's get in our little
car and go on to our little beddie-bye.
93
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,364
I don't know.
94
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,734
Marty wants to come back to
our little beddie-bye, too.
95
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:31,304
It's not true.
96
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:34,675
- Julie!
- It's true. He's right in there with Mike.
97
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,409
He was marooned on an island
some place all this time.
98
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:39,613
He wasn't killed.
He wasn't even wounded.
99
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,015
Well, what did he say
when you told him?
100
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,085
- Told him what?
- That you're married to me, now.
101
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,354
I didn't tell him.
102
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,323
Well, somebody
has to tell him.
103
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:54,194
Yes, but break it gently.
104
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,462
Gently? Me?
105
00:09:56,528 --> 00:10:00,600
Just say, Marty, old man. A funny thing
happened to me while you were dead.
106
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,769
You want me to tell a guy
who's just come back from
107
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,505
Two years on a desert island
that I married his wife?
108
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:07,675
Wait, you haven't met the new
stage manager yet.
109
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,610
I don't wanna meet anybody else. There's
only one person I'm interested in meeting.
110
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,278
She sent me to say hello
to everybody in the cast.
111
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,147
Now it's your turn, again.
Hello, Julie.
112
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,917
You haven't say hello
to Vernon.
113
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,889
It's great to be back around
all the old familiar places.
114
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,424
Uh... Marty...
115
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,558
I know, now it's your turn. Gee,
it's good to see you again, Vernon.
116
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,729
You don't know how much I thought
about you while I was away.
117
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,631
You two boys can get the old partnership
going, just like it used to be.
118
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,966
- Come on, we'll get a cab.
- This is my car.
119
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,335
Congratulations.
We'll get a cab.
120
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,104
No, no, I'll drive you home.
121
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,840
Okay, if it's not out of
your way.
122
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,241
Believe me, it isn't.
123
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,643
I'll go along, too.
I live in the neighborhood.
124
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,044
So do I.
125
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,479
- Pretty crowded neighborhood.
- You have no idea.
126
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:50,317
Well, everybody into the car. Come on
Julie, I got a lot to talk you about.
127
00:10:53,485 --> 00:10:55,521
You drive. I'm getting in the
back with Marty.
128
00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,858
- What for?
- We're collaborators, aren't we?
129
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,000
Well, here we are...
130
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,871
Isn't it wonderful? The five
of us back together again?
131
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:17,009
Just like the old days, when we were
starving happily in Greenwich Village.
132
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:20,480
Yes, but no matter how tough
things got, we were always friends.
133
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,716
Ready to sing at the drop
of a hat, weren't we, Marty?
134
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,084
- Hmm.
- Maybe somebody ought to drop a hat.
135
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,123
Boom.
136
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,593
Marty, you haven't told us
about your war experiences.
137
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,163
Reconnaissance flight. Hurricane.
Out of gas. Desert island.
138
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,166
Coconuts and native girls.
And back to the old stand.
139
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,335
You must have hated to leave
those coconuts.
140
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,005
Why were you reported dead?
141
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,275
Another Martin Stewart.
Air Force snafu.
142
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:53,313
Julie, isn't there something
you have to tell Marty?
143
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,614
- Oh, Marty.
- Uh.
144
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,517
There's something you have to
understand.
145
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:02,289
The War Department sent me a
telegram saying you'd been killed.
146
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,792
I would have cracked up if it
hadn't been for Vernon.
147
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,360
Well, old Twinkle Toes been a
comfort to you while I was away?
148
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,763
I've seen a good deal of him.
149
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,532
He's been like
one of the family.
150
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,968
Isn't that right, Julie?
151
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,338
Oh, yes, he was
very kind to me during my...
152
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,506
Vernon, I knew you would be a
tower of strength.
153
00:12:20,572 --> 00:12:22,742
- Oh, I did what I could.
- Thanks, pal.
154
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:30,682
You see months and months went
by and everyone gave you up for...
155
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,151
Aw, not you, uh-uh.
156
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,455
Marty you've got to
understand...
157
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,357
Julie, you had faith.
158
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,393
I knew you would. A lot of other girls
would have run off and got married again.
159
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,366
- Marty.
- Huh?
160
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,203
We're home.
161
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,781
Ah the same old
apartment house.
162
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:04,083
You know, I had a crazy idea not
to come to the theater at all.
163
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,353
I was just gonna wait and break in
on you in the middle of the night.
164
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,420
Wouldn't you have
been surprised?
165
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,122
It would have been about even.
166
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,258
Come on, doll.
167
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:14,226
Good night, sweetie. We'll
see you soon. Mike, good night.
168
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,129
Vernon, thanks for the lift. Thanks
for everything you did for Julie.
169
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,032
The pleasure was all mine.
170
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,168
No, don't get out. You don't
have to see us to the door.
171
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,235
Now look, Marty, you and I
have to have a little talk.
172
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,372
Well, fine, we'll have lunch.
173
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:28,640
Not tomorrow. The first part
of the week. I'll see you then.
174
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,811
Hey, open up.
175
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,048
Julie, I have
a wonderful idea.
176
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:39,118
Why don't we all go up
and have a drink together and
177
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,786
Celebrate Marty's return?
178
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,090
Fine, I'll park the car
and be right back.
179
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,524
Very funny.
180
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,426
That's a wonderful idea.
181
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,494
You're kidding.
182
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,463
I'll make some scrambled eggs.
183
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,600
I remember Marty used to just
love scrambled eggs at night.
184
00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:56,235
- Yes, I'll mix the drinks.
- I'm not thirsty.
185
00:13:56,302 --> 00:14:00,172
Come on, Marty, you can't brush off old
friends. We'll have a wonderful time.
186
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:03,142
We may stay up all night.
Laughing and talking.
187
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,610
Great, just great.
188
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,717
Ah, just as I used to dream
about it.
189
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,286
Same old piano.
190
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:18,225
Oh, Vernon, we wrote some
great shows here.
191
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:22,628
Yup, the windows overlooking
the park.
192
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,399
Oh I forgot, we were gonna
have a drink. Now...
193
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,200
Well, let's see. Where...
194
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,002
- Just raise up on that knob, there.
- Oh!
195
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:34,074
Oh, huh... you changed things.
196
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:37,877
Chateau Dijon 1937.
You never used to drink wine.
197
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,947
She's got a lot of new tastes.
198
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:43,416
I bought it for her.
That was a fine vintage year.
199
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,953
Oh, well, where did you hide
the whiskey, dear?
200
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,753
I gave most of it
to the janitor.
201
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,423
There may be a bottle
somewhere.
202
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,962
The highball glasses are
in the other cupboard.
203
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,362
The ice?
204
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,531
Right there.
That's a little ice box.
205
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,766
Oh, very clever.
This is new, too.
206
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,603
I bought it for Julie.
207
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,406
You seem to be familiar with
everything in this apartment.
208
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,775
- Everything.
- He's been a tower of strength.
209
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,180
Oh, you mix them.
Come on, Julie.
210
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,087
Marty, I...
211
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,855
I think Julie has
something to tell you.
212
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,526
There's been a marriage
you ought to know about.
213
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:30,030
Marty, what was it, water or soda?
- Water for me and Julie.
214
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,598
Not for me,
I wanna keep my head.
215
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,832
What are you gonna do
with your head?
216
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:34,900
- Marty.
- Huh?
217
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,736
I don't know how to
tell you but...
218
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:39,905
Well, you see...
219
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:43,375
Vernon's married.
220
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,314
Well, what do you know?
221
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:52,552
The life-long bachelor.
Congratulations, Vernon. Gwen...
222
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,686
The best, kid.
You finally hooked him, huh?
223
00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:57,756
You two were cozy for quite a while.
I'm glad he made an honest woman of you.
224
00:15:57,823 --> 00:16:00,960
- I did not marry Gwen.
- I'm free for any offer.
225
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,063
You know, you're lucky you
didn't get him.
226
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,697
Well, anyway, whoever you married,
I give it three weeks at the most.
227
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,100
I don't give it another night.
228
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,101
We'll drink a toast to the
unlucky bride
229
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,670
And then I'm sure you'll all
have to be running along.
230
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:15,074
To Mrs. Vernon Lowndes,
whoever she may be.
231
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,109
May all her troubles
be little ones.
232
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,147
I'll drink to that.
233
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,749
Well, so long.
Sorry you have to be leaving.
234
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,919
What's the matter with this
fella. Hasn't he got a home?
235
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,322
- Oh yes, he has.
- Well, tell him to go there.
236
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,659
I haven't been out of this uniform
for three days. I'm going upstairs.
237
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,661
Hey, Marty, wait!
238
00:16:34,726 --> 00:16:36,728
- Good night all.
- Marty, don't!
239
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,831
What am I doing?
Breaking a law or something?
240
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:42,769
- Not yet. - Ah come on, honey.
Don't break up the party so early.
241
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,303
It's just like a
class reunion.
242
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,672
The four of us back
together again.
243
00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:47,140
Like the old days in
Greenwich Village.
244
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,307
Oh no!
245
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:50,976
Somebody stop him.
246
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,146
You got any idea how?
247
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,283
Look, will everybody please
go home except my wife.
248
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,758
- Everything all right?
- Come on in. You're just in time for the finale.
249
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:08,494
Oh no!
250
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,631
What's this?
251
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,368
- Nobody told him yet?
- Kindly fasten your seat belt.
252
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,838
- Now, Marty...
- On your bed.
253
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,240
Pajama tops. Men's.
Who belongs to them?
254
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,674
Where are the bottoms?
255
00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:23,776
I never wear them.
256
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,979
Marty, why did you do that?
257
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,481
Why? What a question.
258
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,351
It's all right,
it's perfectly legal.
259
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,785
Legal? What's happened to
America while I've been away?
260
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,589
- If you'll let me explain...
- Go on, it should be interesting.
261
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,490
- Well, you see...
- Look, Marty, it's that...
262
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,526
I knew all along
I'd have to tell you.
263
00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,027
Marty!
264
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,830
You were reported dead.
265
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:45,797
Julie and Vernon got married.
266
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,138
Happens every day. No need to
let it break up the team.
267
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,106
Now, aren't you sorry you lost
your temper?
268
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,907
Well, you see. Nothing's
wrong. We're married.
269
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,210
Congratulations.
270
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,595
Oh.
271
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,663
Have you...
272
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,564
Not yet.
273
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,167
How long is it going to take?
274
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,301
I don't know.
275
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,971
A girl who hasn't made up her has no
right coming in here looking so beautiful.
276
00:18:25,036 --> 00:18:26,639
How did the natives go
for that line?
277
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:28,975
Please.
278
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,876
You see what this all means.
279
00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,645
If I decide on one of you,
280
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,281
I've got to hurt the other.
281
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,515
And I love you both
too much for that.
282
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,651
Now, wait a minute.
That's silly.
283
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,387
Is it silly to...
284
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,590
Be in love with the man that I've
been married to for over a year?
285
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:48,026
Someone who's been sweet and
kind and understanding.
286
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,030
And when you came up
on that stage...
287
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,401
I thought my heart would stop.
288
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,669
It was like the first night
you took me home,
289
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,471
And you held out a bag of
peanuts to me and said,
290
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:00,807
I wish these were diamonds.
291
00:19:00,872 --> 00:19:02,908
Yeah, I stole the line
but I meant it.
292
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,244
Probably stole the peanuts,
too.
293
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,079
- Julie, what are we gonna do?
- We can't go on like this.
294
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,883
Please, you've got to
give me time.
295
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:14,786
A girl just doesn't flip a coin
about a thing as important as this.
296
00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:18,924
I have to decide which man I want
to spend the rest of my life with.
297
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,727
And I've got to be sure
I'm right.
298
00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:25,130
Good night, darling.
299
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:27,734
- Oh Julie.
- Good night, darling.
300
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,342
Good night.
301
00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:44,916
Got a deck of cards?
302
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:46,819
No.
303
00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:53,393
If you don't mind, I think
I'll take a cold shower.
304
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,125
Julie. Julie.
305
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,595
Ouch!
306
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,367
What are you doing here?
307
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,937
If I ever heard of a situation that
calls for a chaperon, this is it.
308
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,106
- Where's my wife?
- Downstairs, the maid's room.
309
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,809
Oh, by the way.
310
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,778
Maid's room is locked.
311
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,181
I might as well have stayed
with those coconuts.
312
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,250
Ouch!
313
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,605
Boy, you must have been dirty.
314
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,741
I like long showers.
Any objections?
315
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:16,375
No.
316
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,847
- Did you have fun, little boy?
- Not a bit.
317
00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,854
I think I'll take a shower.
318
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,524
Go ahead.
You won't have any fun either.
319
00:21:37,028 --> 00:21:38,431
- Good night.
- Good night.
320
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,011
Which one?
321
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:55,747
I think it's time that
I knew which one?
322
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:00,019
I wish that character would
323
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:02,755
Make up her mind
324
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,926
She can't have them both
325
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,862
That can't be done
326
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:12,732
By all that's right
327
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:17,870
I'm entitled to one, but
328
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:20,806
Which one?
329
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:25,043
Which is the one
330
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:26,745
For
331
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:28,680
Me
332
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:03,450
You have nothing to worry
about, Mrs. Lowndes.
333
00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:06,818
You're in the hands of the
United States Air Force.
334
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:11,156
We recognize our responsibility
for this situation.
335
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,492
It's wonderful of you to help
me, Colonel Wharton.
336
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:15,527
It seemed like an impossible
problem.
337
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,565
Well, you know our motto,
338
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:20,732
The difficult we do
immediately,
339
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,936
The impossible takes
a little longer.
340
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,538
Of course the civil courts are
rather slow moving,
341
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:30,308
But when your case come up, the
Air Force will be at your side.
342
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:33,311
And then what?
Who am I married to?
343
00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:36,483
Well, the law is quite
specific on that point.
344
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:40,385
The first spouse is the legal spouse.
The second marriage null and void.
345
00:23:40,453 --> 00:23:42,955
What if I don't want the
second marriage null and void.
346
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:45,356
Oh? Oh!
347
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:48,760
Well, there is plenty of
precedent for that, too.
348
00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:53,099
Since the second marriage was entered
into without intent to deceive,
349
00:23:53,164 --> 00:23:57,268
The second marriage is legal, therefore
the first marriage may be annulled.
350
00:23:57,335 --> 00:23:59,472
But the first marriage was
legal, too, wasn't it?
351
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,372
Oh yes, of course.
352
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,710
Then I'm legally married to Marty,
and I'm legally married to Vernon.
353
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:09,949
Well, that's an amusing way
of putting it.
354
00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:12,018
Of course, you'll have
to decide on one or the other.
355
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:15,321
- Why?
- Why?
356
00:24:15,386 --> 00:24:17,856
I should hope because you're
in love with one of them.
357
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:19,424
Which one is it?
358
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:21,092
I love both of them.
359
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:23,929
Yes, but one a little more
than the other.
360
00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,064
No.
361
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:27,567
Not even just a little bit?
362
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:28,635
Not even a little bit.
363
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,202
Even Steven.
364
00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:32,170
Pardon me.
365
00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:36,108
You know something.
366
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:38,343
You've just given me
a wonderful idea.
367
00:24:38,409 --> 00:24:40,680
Why, I've got
what every woman wants.
368
00:24:40,747 --> 00:24:42,615
A husband and a lover.
369
00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:44,050
And they're both legal.
370
00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:47,053
No, no, no. That's bigamy,
and it's illegal.
371
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:48,820
Illegal?
372
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,823
Who sent me this telegram?
373
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:54,026
Well, the... War Department.
374
00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:55,393
What does it say?
375
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:57,564
Regret to inform you, your
husband, Lieutenant
376
00:24:57,630 --> 00:24:59,632
Martin Stewart,
killed in action.
377
00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:01,500
Did I have every right
to marry again after that?
378
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,636
Well, yes, of course, but...
379
00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:06,272
Then if anybody is guilty of
bigamy, it's the army.
380
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,973
You made the mistake.
381
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,878
Madam. In 150 years,
382
00:25:11,943 --> 00:25:15,614
The United States Army has
made a lot of mistakes.
383
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:19,018
But letting you in this office
was the biggest mistake of all.
384
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,188
I don't feel that way at all.
385
00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:24,624
Why, you've taken a load
off my mind.
386
00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:26,792
There's nothing wrong in
what I'm doing.
387
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:28,628
Nothing wrong?
388
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:31,429
According to your line of reasoning,
a woman could have three, four, six...
389
00:25:31,496 --> 00:25:32,699
A dozen husbands.
390
00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:34,966
A dozen husbands.
391
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,168
There'd be no limit.
392
00:25:36,235 --> 00:25:37,570
A dozen husbands.
393
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:39,938
Let me read you
something, if I may...
394
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:41,006
A dozen husbands.
395
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:43,576
A dozen husbands.
396
00:27:33,985 --> 00:27:35,620
Down boy
397
00:27:35,688 --> 00:27:38,224
You're acting like a
Newfoundland pup
398
00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:41,427
And mama don't Like
you jumping up I swear
399
00:27:41,492 --> 00:27:44,230
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
400
00:27:44,296 --> 00:27:45,964
You've gotta stay down
401
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:49,335
Down boy
402
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,569
You're acting like
You ain't ever fed
403
00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:53,439
So if you wanna
Be mama's
404
00:27:53,504 --> 00:27:55,374
Ted... Dy... bear
405
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,043
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
406
00:27:58,109 --> 00:27:59,245
You've gotta stay down
407
00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:03,049
Girls like
408
00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:05,616
A sudden show of affection
409
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,286
But they don't like
410
00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:11,322
So much that they need
A bulldog's protection
411
00:28:11,389 --> 00:28:12,591
Down boy
412
00:28:12,658 --> 00:28:14,893
I'll pet you but
I must draw the line
413
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,596
You evidently
Ain't read my sign
414
00:28:17,663 --> 00:28:19,065
"Beware!"
415
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:21,332
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
416
00:28:21,399 --> 00:28:23,034
You've gotta stay down
417
00:28:31,510 --> 00:28:32,779
Down boy
418
00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:35,080
Stop acting like a brand new
Newfoundland pup
419
00:28:35,146 --> 00:28:36,647
All beat up
420
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:39,017
Button up Trying to make
up Mama's getting fed up
421
00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:41,921
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
422
00:28:41,988 --> 00:28:43,654
You've gotta stay down
423
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:45,792
Down boy
424
00:28:45,858 --> 00:28:48,193
Stop acting like a
Half-grown quadruped
425
00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,095
Under fed
Sick in the head
426
00:28:50,161 --> 00:28:51,998
You heard what
What mama said
427
00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:54,099
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
428
00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:55,902
You've gotta stay down
429
00:28:57,336 --> 00:28:59,470
Girls like
430
00:28:59,537 --> 00:29:01,740
A sudden show of affection
431
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,310
But they don't like
432
00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:07,013
So much that they need
A bulldog's protection
433
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:08,413
Down, down, Dee down boy
434
00:29:08,479 --> 00:29:11,850
I'll pet you but you have to
Draw the line somewhere
435
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:13,384
Guess you
haven't read my sign
436
00:29:13,451 --> 00:29:14,853
Beware, boy!
437
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,956
You've gotta stay
Down, down, down
438
00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:20,326
I'll say it just once more
439
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,995
Same thing I said before
440
00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:24,296
Down boy!
441
00:29:24,363 --> 00:29:26,298
-You've gotta stay
Down, down
442
00:29:26,365 --> 00:29:29,400
Couldn't you just die?
443
00:30:13,511 --> 00:30:16,014
If your argument was
to be taken seriously,
444
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:18,918
It would result in the
ridiculous conclusion
445
00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:21,888
That a woman can have as many
husbands as she wants.
446
00:30:21,953 --> 00:30:23,721
Oh, I'm glad you agree
with me.
447
00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:25,790
It would be just wonderful.
448
00:30:25,858 --> 00:30:29,460
And if anybody has any objections, I
can send them right to the US Air Force.
449
00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:32,564
Oh, thank you, Colonel Wharton.
You've been a wonderful help.
450
00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:35,066
And the impossible you have
done immediately.
451
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,140
Now think hard.
452
00:30:42,207 --> 00:30:44,575
You saw their faces in your
newspaper today.
453
00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:47,546
Now, what news story
does this represent?
454
00:30:47,613 --> 00:30:50,849
Ah? Would you
repeat the question please?
455
00:30:51,682 --> 00:30:52,683
Another one.
456
00:30:53,318 --> 00:30:54,853
We're famous.
457
00:30:54,921 --> 00:30:56,923
You saw their faces
in your newspaper today.
458
00:30:56,989 --> 00:31:00,658
Now, what news story
does this represent?
459
00:31:00,725 --> 00:31:03,394
Uh... that's that actress.
460
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:08,267
And her husband came home
and he was in the army.
461
00:31:08,333 --> 00:31:10,068
Only she had two of them.
462
00:31:10,135 --> 00:31:11,437
Correct.
463
00:31:11,502 --> 00:31:14,273
Leave it on. It's better than
looking at you.
464
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:17,308
Now, soldier, this is
right up your alley.
465
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:20,446
What do you think of
the situation this represents?
466
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:23,514
All right, so this guy
goes into the Air Force, see.
467
00:31:23,581 --> 00:31:26,017
And he leaves the wife alone, see.
Correct.
468
00:31:26,084 --> 00:31:29,255
Well, this other guy, he's been
givin' her the eye all along, see.
469
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,457
So along comes a telegram
from the War Department
470
00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:34,593
Tellin' her this first guy's been
knocked off, leavin' the field clear.
471
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,895
Well, telegrams come cheap.
472
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:39,065
What point are you
trying to make, soldier?
473
00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,299
Anybody can swipe a
telegraph blank,
474
00:31:41,366 --> 00:31:44,135
Sign it "War Department" and slip a
kid a couple of bucks to deliver it.
475
00:31:44,202 --> 00:31:46,472
Ha!
476
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:48,706
Then by the time this poor Joe
gets back, if he ever does get back,
477
00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:52,277
The other guy and his wife are so
cozy, he don't stand a chance, see.
478
00:31:52,343 --> 00:31:54,779
Good, now, if you were Marty,
479
00:31:54,845 --> 00:31:57,116
How would you
solve this problem?
480
00:31:57,183 --> 00:32:00,919
Easy. I'd grab the crumb who stole my
wife and bust him right in the nose.
481
00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:06,492
Thank you Miss
Williams and Sergeant Kowalski.
482
00:32:06,558 --> 00:32:08,093
And I'm sure you've been a
great help
483
00:32:08,159 --> 00:32:11,830
In bringing peace and
happiness to a troubled home.
484
00:32:11,897 --> 00:32:12,898
Now...
485
00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:29,448
Marty, Vernon.
486
00:32:34,086 --> 00:32:36,321
- What happened?
- Where you been all day?
487
00:32:36,387 --> 00:32:37,855
That's her own business.
488
00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:40,159
Where have you been?
489
00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:42,028
Well, I talked
to the Air Force
490
00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:44,795
And I was little excited so I
walked around and shopped
491
00:32:44,862 --> 00:32:46,465
A little because that's when
I do my best thinking.
492
00:32:46,532 --> 00:32:47,533
What did the Air Force say?
493
00:32:48,699 --> 00:32:50,036
I think we'd all better
sit down.
494
00:32:51,769 --> 00:32:53,938
You can see how foolish it was
for you two to be fighting
495
00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:56,207
Because the Air Force says
I can keep you both.
496
00:32:57,342 --> 00:32:58,776
Our Air Force?
497
00:32:59,944 --> 00:33:01,980
You're joking.
See, she's just joking.
498
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,986
- She isn't.
- Of course I'm not.
499
00:33:08,054 --> 00:33:10,056
The Colonel didn't exactly
say that.
500
00:33:10,121 --> 00:33:12,657
But he admitted that I was
legally married to each of you.
501
00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:15,327
And while I'm making up my mind,
that's how I'm going to stay.
502
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:20,198
You can see that's the only sensible
thing to do instead of rushing into things.
503
00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:22,833
If you're not careful, you think for
a minute that she's talking sense.
504
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,870
I am talking sense.
505
00:33:24,935 --> 00:33:27,972
I will not be rushed into
anything so important.
506
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,142
Now, we're going out to dinner
just as we did when we were married.
507
00:33:32,111 --> 00:33:33,978
Wait a minute.
508
00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:37,248
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let me understand this thing.
509
00:33:37,315 --> 00:33:39,051
Exactly who
is going to dinner?
510
00:33:40,052 --> 00:33:42,020
You and I, Marty and I.
511
00:33:42,088 --> 00:33:44,190
- Two happy couples.
- Uh-huh!
512
00:33:44,255 --> 00:33:46,225
And then we'll go dancing
and have few drinks.
513
00:33:47,693 --> 00:33:49,061
And then we'll all come home.
514
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,329
We'll all come home?
515
00:33:51,396 --> 00:33:52,930
Just like we did
when we were married?
516
00:33:52,997 --> 00:33:53,998
That's right.
517
00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:57,069
I'm going upstairs and change.
518
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,039
What do we do now?
519
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,543
Just what she says.
520
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:06,844
You'll have to let Marty have
one of your dinner jackets.
521
00:34:06,912 --> 00:34:08,012
Oh, naturally.
522
00:34:08,979 --> 00:34:09,980
Share and share alike.
523
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:11,716
And hurry.
524
00:34:13,984 --> 00:34:16,487
Oh, by the way old man.
When I socked you a while ago.
525
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,124
- Yes?
- I meant it.
526
00:34:18,189 --> 00:34:19,190
So did I.
527
00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:32,503
I phoned, they didn't answer. I checked
with the desk. The manager said the
528
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,573
Three of them left together,
hours ago.
529
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,441
The happy triangle
out on the town.
530
00:34:36,507 --> 00:34:38,376
Trying every angle.
531
00:34:38,443 --> 00:34:39,510
I have to run along
in a minute.
532
00:34:40,311 --> 00:34:41,847
Mind eating alone?
533
00:34:41,912 --> 00:34:45,383
No, the kid's getting used to
it. I've been well trained.
534
00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:49,420
Did I ever tell you about the time I
fell in love with Sam the Coconut Man?
535
00:34:49,487 --> 00:34:50,821
Marty?
536
00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:52,990
But you know little Gwen.
A lot of laughs.
537
00:34:53,057 --> 00:34:55,526
Nobody takes me seriously.
538
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:57,828
I sent Julie a lovely
wedding gift.
539
00:34:57,895 --> 00:34:59,598
And switched to Twinkle Toes.
540
00:34:59,665 --> 00:35:01,966
Yes, I made up my mind fast.
541
00:35:02,032 --> 00:35:04,236
Big mistake.
542
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:07,705
Should have followed Julie's example
and never made up my mind about anything.
543
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,842
I drank his awful wine. I sewed
buttons on his awful vests.
544
00:35:12,478 --> 00:35:13,811
And I was beginning
to like it.
545
00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:16,647
Along comes Little Miss
Indecision and I'm shut out again.
546
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:19,550
I sent her the same
wedding gift.
547
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,854
You wouldn't wanna maybe do
the town with a guy who
548
00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:26,292
Has no intention of getting married until
he's around 70? Might help you forget things.
549
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:29,728
I'm having much too good a
time feeling sorry for myself.
550
00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:33,732
Don't worry. Julie'll make up her mind,
and there'll be one left over for you.
551
00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:36,467
We'll get a new show going
and everything will be great.
552
00:35:36,534 --> 00:35:37,568
Thank you, Mother Goose.
553
00:35:42,039 --> 00:35:43,107
Night, baby.
554
00:36:11,769 --> 00:36:15,806
There's a someone
I'm longing to see
555
00:36:18,376 --> 00:36:20,611
I hope that he
556
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:23,215
Turns out to be
557
00:36:25,616 --> 00:36:29,187
Someone to watch
558
00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:32,991
Over me
559
00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:41,700
I'm a little lamb
560
00:36:41,767 --> 00:36:45,002
Who's lost in the wood
561
00:36:47,037 --> 00:36:49,540
I know I could
562
00:36:49,607 --> 00:36:52,510
Always be good
563
00:36:54,313 --> 00:36:55,946
To one
564
00:36:57,349 --> 00:37:00,184
Who'll watch
565
00:37:00,252 --> 00:37:02,186
Over me
566
00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:09,361
Although he may not
Be the man
567
00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:11,563
Some girls think of
568
00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:14,499
As handsome
569
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,068
To my heart
570
00:37:17,703 --> 00:37:19,271
He carries
571
00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:22,308
The key
572
00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,647
Won't you tell him please
573
00:37:29,714 --> 00:37:32,851
To put on some speed
574
00:37:34,084 --> 00:37:36,922
Follow my lead
575
00:37:36,987 --> 00:37:40,392
Oh, how I need
576
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:44,161
Someone
577
00:37:45,563 --> 00:37:47,598
To watch
578
00:37:49,099 --> 00:37:52,236
Over me
579
00:45:06,404 --> 00:45:07,538
Ole!
580
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:13,511
Ole!
581
00:45:18,950 --> 00:45:21,485
It was wonderful.
Wonderful!
582
00:45:21,551 --> 00:45:25,323
We'll go out every night
together and dance and dance.
583
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,292
My earrings hurt.
584
00:45:38,202 --> 00:45:39,469
Please.
585
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,275
Thank you.
Thank you both.
586
00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,514
Would you unzip me?
587
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:00,124
Good night.
588
00:46:39,629 --> 00:46:40,630
You still here?
589
00:46:42,699 --> 00:46:44,601
We were under the impression
we were invited.
590
00:46:44,668 --> 00:46:46,536
Would you care for the
bathtub first, old boy?
591
00:46:46,603 --> 00:46:48,473
- Oh, no after you.
- Oh, thank you.
592
00:46:50,740 --> 00:46:52,542
Go to your room, both of you.
593
00:46:52,609 --> 00:46:55,745
Our room? Oh, you mean the
dungeon with the twin beds.
594
00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,916
Didn't the Air Force say
we were all married?
595
00:46:58,950 --> 00:46:59,951
Well...
596
00:47:01,987 --> 00:47:04,221
You know, I'm a little dizzy.
597
00:47:04,289 --> 00:47:06,756
But not as dizzy as you think.
Now, get out of here.
598
00:47:09,059 --> 00:47:11,829
Exactly what we intended
to do all along.
599
00:47:11,897 --> 00:47:15,365
Just as soon as you discovered
how ridiculous your whole idea was.
600
00:47:17,202 --> 00:47:18,468
Why!
128917
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