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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,248 - WHOA, WHOA, WENDELL. 2 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,946 THESE ARE COLLECTIBLES. 3 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,047 I HAD A WHOLE KINGDOM OF ASTERGOTH SCENARIO HERE. 4 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,391 THE WOOD ELVES WERE ABOUT TO CLASH 5 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,746 WITH THE FIRE GOBLINS OF AVALASH 6 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,423 TO GAIN VICTORY FOR EMPEROR ELIDOR. 7 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,493 - AND PEOPLE THINK I'M THE NERD. 8 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:25,962 - OH, NO, NO, NO. 9 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,629 YOU'RE A NERD. I'M A GEEK. 10 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,629 - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 11 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,330 - HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS? 12 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,402 OKAY. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,340 OH, YOU KNOW THAT MOON OF JUPITER? 14 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,035 - OH, WHICH ONE? THERE'S 67 OF THEM. 15 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,566 - NERD! 16 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,275 - HEY, GUYS. 17 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,936 CAN I READ THIS OVER HERE? - WHY? 18 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,484 - THIS BOOK IS SUPER SCARY, 19 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,979 AND I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. 20 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,750 NOW, EVERYONE, LEAVE ME ALONE. 21 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:50,780 - [yelps] 22 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,824 [sighs] 23 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,259 COME ON, THIS IS MY JOB HERE. 24 00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,085 I DON'T COME TO YOUR APARTMENT AND PUT MY FEET UP 25 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,630 ON YOUR ALIMONY CHECK. 26 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:58,855 - HEY, HEY. 27 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,129 - HEY, AUNT WILMA. - OH, MY GOD! 28 00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,929 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LET HIM DO THAT. 29 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,370 - SHE READING MY DIARY? 30 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,139 HEY, WENDELL. 31 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,865 ALL RIGHT, TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS MOCK TRIAL 32 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,139 GOING ON AT YOUR SCHOOL. 33 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,808 - OKAY, I'M THE DEFENSE LAWYER, 34 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,865 AND MY OPPOSING COUNSEL IS MY FRIEND LACY. 35 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:14,914 - ALL RIGHTY. 36 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,378 - [yelps] 37 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,777 - I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FOLLOWING MY FOOTSTEPS INTO LAW. 38 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,949 NOW, TELL ME ABOUT THIS CASE. 39 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,717 I'M HERE TO HELP. - OKAY. 40 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,515 IT IS GOLDILOCKS VERSUS THE THREE BEARS, 41 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,187 AND WE ARE REPRESENTING GOLDILOCKS. 42 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,746 - I'M OUT. 43 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,194 - WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT? 44 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,459 - WELL, IT'S A LOSER. 45 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,357 IT'S A CLEAR CASE OF VANDALISM AND TRESPASSING. 46 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,389 I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW THE PORRIDGE LAWS IN THIS STATE, 47 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,904 BUT THAT GIRL IS LOOKING AT SOME HARD TIME. 48 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,227 - BUT, AUNT WILMA, EVEN THE GUILTY DESERVE A DEFENSE. 49 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,044 AND A TRIAL ISN'T JUST ABOUT WINNING. 50 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,865 IT'S ABOUT A SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH. 51 00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,411 - OH, SEE. 52 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,976 NOW, THERE'S YOUR FAIRY TALE. 53 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,276 - AND THERE'S THIS GIRL NAMED KATIE PLAYING GOLDILOCKS. 54 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,609 - OH, IS THAT "CUTE KATIE"? 55 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,224 - PLEASE DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS. 56 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,216 - WENDELL'S GOT A CRUSH. 57 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,188 WENDELL LOVES KATIE. 58 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,987 - "I LOVE YOU, KATIE." 59 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,858 "I LOVE YOU TOO, WENDELL." 60 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,887 - THANKS FOR HOLDING BACK. 61 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,333 - WENDELL, I'M SORRY. I JUST CAN'T HELP. 62 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,499 - I UNDERSTAND. 63 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,927 I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE ON LACY 64 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,771 AND HER HOTSHOT ATTORNEY, NICHELLE NETTLES, BY MYSELF. 65 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,637 - WHOA, WHAT? 66 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,736 NICHELLE NETTLES IS HER ATTORNEY? 67 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,969 I'M BACK IN. 68 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,683 THAT YOGA-BUTTED, WRINKLE-RESISTANT ICE QUEEN 69 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,876 JUST HAPPENS TO BE MY ARCHNEMESIS. 70 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,208 - I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE FRIENDS. 71 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,284 - YEAH, WE'RE GREAT FRIENDS 72 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,881 IN THAT I-HOPE-YOU-GET-FAT-BEFORE-ME 73 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,782 KIND OF WAY. 74 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,294 - TOO LATE. 75 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:37,232 [quirky brass music] 76 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,225 * 77 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,256 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 78 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,061 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 79 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,232 - * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 80 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,972 - * NEVER FELT SO GOOD 81 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,897 - * SO WAIT A MINUTE 82 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,902 * HEY 83 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,343 * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD 84 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,280 - GOOD LUCK, LACY. 85 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,252 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, WE'LL STILL BE FRIENDS. 86 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,091 - LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, WENDELL. 87 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,515 I'VE GOT A GREAT CASE 88 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,590 AND ICE CREAM SANDWICHES FOR THE JURY. 89 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,691 UH-OH. 90 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,133 - HI, KATIE. I LOOK FORWARD TO DEFENDING YOU. 91 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,331 - THERE'S AN APP ON MY PHONE 92 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,503 THAT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A UNICORN. 93 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,367 - GOOD AFTERNOON, STUDENTS. 94 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,113 I'M JUDGE SALVADORIE. 95 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:31,177 I'M HERE AS A VOLUNTEER, AGAIN, 96 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,978 TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE EXCITING PROCESS 97 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,921 THAT IS OUR LEGAL-- YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL HERE. 98 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,286 YOU CAN READ IT FOR YOURSELVES. 99 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,745 - YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO WELCOME OPPOSING COUNSEL 100 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:43,523 BACK FROM RE--LAXATION PLACE, 101 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,634 SAY--SAY THAT WE ALL SUPPORT YOU AND-- 102 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,627 [clicks tongue] 103 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,898 GOSH, HOPE IT STICKS THIS TIME. 104 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,998 - AND I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, WILMA, 105 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,971 WHOSE HEART AND SOUL ARE AS OPENLY ON DISPLAY 106 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,310 AS HER ROOTS. 107 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,341 [door rattling] 108 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,713 - STUPID DOOR! 109 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,411 IT'S SUPPOSED TO OPEN OUT. 110 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,853 IF THERE'S EVER A FIRE IN THIS PLACE, 111 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,747 EVERYBODY'S GONNA BURN TO A CRISP! 112 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,349 HEY, KIDS. 113 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,052 HEY, I KNOW YOU. 114 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,523 NICHELLE IS IT? 115 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,762 WE MET A FEW WEEKS AGO. 116 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,526 - AIR HOCKEY TABLE IN THE DINING ROOM. 117 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,085 - I'M LIVING THE DREAM. 118 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,492 - HEY, AIR HOCKEY, 119 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,334 YOU'RE CUTTING INTO MY WHEEL OF FORTUNE TIME. 120 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,330 - SORRY, YOUR HONOR, I JUST CAME TO PICK UP WENDELL, 121 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,332 BUT I GUESS I'M EARLY. 122 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,373 I'LL JUST WAIT IN THE HALL. 123 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:29,237 NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, NICHELLE. 124 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,766 THIS PLACE IS A DEATH TRAP! 125 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,941 SEE YOU, KIDS. 126 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,348 - OKAY, THE DRAGON IS THE JUDGE, 127 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:40,175 AND THE WOOD ELVES ARE THE JURY. 128 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,650 - WHO'S THIS UGLY ONE? 129 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,079 - SNEED THE DUNG COLLECTOR. 130 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:48,164 - OKAY, THAT'S NICHELLE. 131 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,355 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S PRACTICE SOME CROSS-EXAMINATION. 132 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,358 WHICH ONE OF US SHOULD BE GOLDILOCKS? 133 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,900 - WELL, I'M A WOMAN, BUT YOU'RE A BLONDE. 134 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,155 - SO ARE YOU. 135 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,902 - VINNIE, VINNIE, QUICK. COME OVER HERE. 136 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,371 WE NEED A GOLDILOCKS. - NO CAN DO. 137 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,200 I GOT A DATE. - HA! 138 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,644 VINNIE'S GOT A DATE. 139 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,039 "OOH, LOOK AT ME. I'M VINNIE. 140 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,610 "I'M ON A DATE. WHAT DO YOU DO?" 141 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,009 "OH, I'M A SUCCESSFUL ACCOUNTANT, 142 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,610 USED TO WORK FOR ONE OF THE BIG FOUR, BUT"-- 143 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,883 OH, I'M NO GOOD AT MOCKERY. 144 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,283 - GET IN THE CHAIR, GOLDILOCKS. 145 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,694 - FINE, I'LL GIVE YOU FIVE MINUTES. 146 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:19,686 - [shrieks] 147 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,087 - OH, MY-- - SHH. 148 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,291 - HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE? 149 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,192 ARE THOSE THE SAME CLOTHES YOU HAD ON YESTERDAY? 150 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,204 - HAVEN'T YOU EVER HAD A BOOK YOU COULDN'T PUT DOWN? 151 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,156 - YES, 'CAUSE IT TRANSPORTED ME 152 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,074 TO A MAGICAL WORLD OF MAKE-BELIEVE. 153 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,297 BOOKS. 154 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,842 - COME OVER HERE. IN THE CHAIR. 155 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,637 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 156 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:39,969 - OKAY. 157 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,213 STATE YOUR NAME. 158 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,478 - [high-pitched] LOCKS, GOLD E. LOCKS. 159 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,948 "E" IS FOR ELIZABETH, 160 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,576 GOLD ELIZABETH LOCKS. 161 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,621 - OKAY, OKAY, MERYL STREEP. DIAL IT BACK. 162 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,677 JUST PLAY IT STRAIGHT. 163 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,594 - [normal voice] WHAT? I'M IN CHARACTER. 164 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,656 - GOLDILOCKS, WHY DID YOU EAT THE BEARS' PORRIDGE? 165 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,726 - [high-pitched] WELL, I WAS OUT CLUBBING ALL NIGHT, 166 00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,485 YOU KNOW, RAISING THE GINGERBREAD ROOF, 167 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,134 WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME HUNGRY, 168 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,769 AND I THOUGHT I'D SNAG SOME FREE GRUB. 169 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,325 - WELL, I'M SORRY, WENDELL, BUT YOU JUST LOST THE CASE. 170 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,174 SHE JUST ADMITTED TO BREAKING AND ENTERING. 171 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,639 ALL RIGHT, DON'T DO GOLDILOCKS. 172 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,638 NOW--NOW YOU'RE PAPA BEAR. GO. 173 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,580 - [normal voice] WHOA, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 174 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,905 GRIZZLY? POLAR? GUMMY? 175 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,149 I GOT A LOT OF RANGE. 176 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,905 - OKAY, PAPA BEAR, 177 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,253 DESCRIBE THE EVENTS OF THE MORNING IN QUESTION. 178 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,649 - [dopey voice] OKAY. 179 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,051 SO I WOKE UP, 180 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,722 AND I TOOK THE WHOLE FAMILY OUT 181 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,360 FOR OUR MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL. 182 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,215 YOU SEE, BEARS DON'T USE BATHROOMS. 183 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,563 WE GO INTO THE WOODS. 184 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,159 - WE GET IT. WE GET IT. WE GET IT. 185 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,630 DON'T LET HIM TELL HIS STORY. 186 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,458 MAKE HIM TELL YOUR STORY. 187 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,804 - BUT I JUST WANT TO LAY OUT THE FACTS 188 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,098 AND GET TO THE TRUTH. 189 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,100 - WHAT KIND OF LAWYER ARE YOU? 190 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,842 HAVE A SEAT. 191 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:48,137 - ALL RIGHT, MR. BEAR-- IF THAT IS YOUR REAL SPECIES. 192 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,841 IN THE FOREST, YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN. 193 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:51,854 AM I RIGHT? 194 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,575 - WELL, I AM A CARNIVORE 195 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:57,721 OF SOME STATURE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, YEAH. 196 00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,088 - CARNIVORE, MEAT-- A MEAT EATER. 197 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,187 PEOPLE ARE MADE OF MEAT, AM I RIGHT? 198 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:06,690 DID YOU NOT LEAVE YOUR DOOR OPEN AND LEAVE PORRIDGE OUT 199 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,364 TO LURE AN UNSUSPECTING HUMAN INSIDE? 200 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,002 - I DIDN'T-- 201 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,898 - HOPING THAT THE PERSON WOULD EAT THE PORRIDGE, 202 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,130 THEN DOZE OFF, 203 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,604 LEAVING YOU A NICELY WRAPPED BREAKFAST BURRITO 204 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:19,244 IN A BED THAT WAS JUST RIGHT. 205 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,539 - IT WASN'T LIKE THAT! 206 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,511 - SIR, I REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE UNDER OATH. 207 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,540 - OKAY, FINE! 208 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,714 IT WAS ALL MAMA BEAR'S IDEA. 209 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:27,784 YOU KNOW WHAT? 210 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,081 THERE'VE BEEN OTHERS. 211 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:32,322 HANSEL, GRETEL, RED RIDING HOOD'S GRANDMA: 212 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,219 WE ATE THEM ALL! 213 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,061 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE WALDO IS? 214 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,161 IN MY HEARTLESS WIFE'S BOTTOMLESS STOMACH. 215 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,561 [normal voice] OKAY, DATE TIME. 216 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,404 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S IT. 217 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,198 WE'LL DO THE MURDER ANGLE. 218 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,740 THAT IS HOW WE'RE GONNA HUMILIATE NICHELLE. 219 00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,367 - AND WIN THE CASE. 220 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,941 - YEAH, NO, SURE. WHATEVER. 221 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,149 - SORRY I WAS LATE. 222 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,545 - NO WORRIES. HI. 223 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,618 - I GOT ROPED IN TO HELPING WENDELL AND WILMA 224 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,816 REHEARSE FOR THEIR MOCK TRIAL THING. 225 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,688 OH! YES! 226 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,817 COCONUT SHRIMP, MY FAVORITE. 227 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,922 - I KNOW. 228 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,363 I AM PRETTY GOOD AT DOING MY RESEARCH. 229 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,189 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT? 230 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,134 SHRIMP TAIL PUPPET SHOWS. 231 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,600 "SO, SHRIMPY, I HEAR YOU MANAGE A BASEBALL TEAM. 232 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,601 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE FIRST BASEMAN?" 233 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,443 "WHO." 234 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,407 - YOU ARE A REFRESHING CHANGE OF PACE. 235 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,576 - WHY'S THAT? 236 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,775 - WELL, I'M USED TO GOING OUT 237 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,876 WITH VERY SERIOUS, ACCOMPLISHED PROFESSIONAL MEN. 238 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,608 - OH, YOU WON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM TONIGHT. 239 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,824 RIGHT, SHRIMPY? 240 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,245 "RIGHT!" 241 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,379 - I'M CURIOUS. 242 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,694 WHAT DID WILMA HAVE TO SAY 243 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,886 WHEN YOU TOLD HER THAT WERE GOING OUT ON THIS DATE? 244 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,188 - I DIDN'T TELL HER. 245 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,659 SHE'D FREAK. 246 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,627 RIGHT, SHRIMPY? - STOP TALKING LIKE A SHRIMP. 247 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,998 - OKAY, BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT THE SHRIMP SHOW, 248 00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,327 WHY'D YOU ORDER IT? 249 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,643 - I'M SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO LIE TO WILMA. 250 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,196 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DO LOVE HER. 251 00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,744 SHE'S LIKE A YOUNGER, SLUTTIER SISTER TO ME. 252 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,341 UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS, 253 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:07,623 MY FLAWLESS SKIN, MY EXTENSIVE LINGERIE COLLECTION, 254 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,315 AND NOW THIS SILLY MOCK TRIAL TOO. 255 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,717 - WELL, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 256 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,249 SHE'S TRYING TO TURN MY SWEET WENDELL INTO A SHARK. 257 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,694 SHE'S PUSHING HER OWN THEORY ON HOW TO WIN THE CASE. 258 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,960 - REALLY? 259 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,788 WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF. 260 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,093 - YEAH, OF COURSE. 261 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,904 - I MEAN, YOU AND I WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY CLOSE 262 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,356 FOR YOU TO SHARE SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 263 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,834 - CLOSE? 264 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,144 - VERY CLOSE. 265 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,695 - SO THIS LINGERIE COLLECTION, 266 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,974 WOULD IT POSSIBLY INCLUDE A CATSUIT? 267 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,544 AND IF THE ANSWER IS YES, I HAVE A FOLLOW-UP. 268 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,680 - TELL THE JURY WHAT IT WAS LIKE ON THE DAY IN QUESTION 269 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,783 RETURNING TO YOUR HOME. 270 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,054 - ALL I REMEMBER IS, 271 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,892 WE WERE BUNDLED UP IN OUR HATS, COATS, AND SCARVES, 272 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,758 TAKING IN THE DECEMBER MORNING, 273 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,257 THEN CAME HOME TO FIND OUR HOUSE HAD BEEN VIOLATED. 274 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,459 - THAT IS THE WORST PAPA BEAR I'VE EVER SEEN. 275 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,702 I MEAN, WHERE'S THE AUTHORITY, THE GRAVITAS? 276 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,169 I'M NOT GETTING PAPA OR BEAR. 277 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,738 - PAPA BEAR, DO YOU SEE THE TRESPASSER 278 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,196 IN THE COURTROOM TODAY? 279 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,214 - HER. 280 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,505 [children gasp] 281 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,436 - LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE WITNESS HAS POINTED 282 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,111 TO THE STUCK-UP GIRL WHO THINKS SHE'S COOL 283 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,680 BECAUSE SHE DID A LOCAL COMMERCIAL 284 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,749 FOR HER DAD'S CARPET STORE. 285 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,178 - I TOTALLY BOUGHT YOU AS THE GIRL 286 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,553 WHO HATED HARDWOOD FLOORS. 287 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,290 - THANK YOU. 288 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,017 - [sniffs deeply] 289 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,563 - NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR. 290 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,599 FOLLOW THAT, PUNK. 291 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:37,967 - SO, PAPA BEAR-- IF THAT IS YOUR REAL SPECIES. 292 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,207 YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN, ARE YOU NOT? 293 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,809 - YES. - PLEASE. 294 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,011 THAT'S A BEAR? 295 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,612 I'M NOT EVEN BUYING THIS KID IS A HUMAN. 296 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,954 - AND AS A CARNIVORE, 297 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,949 ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU PREFER MEAT TO PORRIDGE? 298 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,991 - WELL, I-- 299 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:52,985 - AND ISN'T IT TRUE 300 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,316 THAT THE PORRIDGE WAS JUST A TRAP? 301 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,491 - I COULD NEVER EAT A HUMAN-- 302 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,058 - AS AN APEX PREDATOR, 303 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,857 YOU ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF EATING ANYTHING YOU WANT, 304 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,560 INCLUDING AND ESPECIALLY HUMANS! 305 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,802 [children murmur] 306 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,928 NOW, ISN'T IT TRUE 307 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,233 THAT YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO LURE 308 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,404 THIS SWEET, BEAUTIFUL, CARPET-LOVING HUMAN 309 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,443 INTO YOUR LAIR? 310 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,908 IF ANYONE SHOULD BE ON TRIAL HERE, 311 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,936 IT SHOULD BE THE THREE BEARS FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER. 312 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,142 [children murmur] 313 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,953 I'M DONE WITH HIM, YOUR HONOR. 314 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,747 - WENDELL, WENDELL. 315 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,579 MORE FOOTBALL, LESS FOSSE. 316 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:27,193 - OKAY, LET'S GO TO CLOSING STATEMENTS. 317 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,517 - ACTUALLY, YOUR HONOR, 318 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,121 THE PROSECUTION WOULD LIKE TO CALL AN EXPERT WITNESS, 319 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,494 OUR SCIENCE TEACHER, MR. STITTSWORTH. 320 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,603 [children murmuring] 321 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,925 - PFFT! 322 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,400 STITTSWORTH. 323 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,598 OH, MAN. 324 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,039 THERE'S A GUY IN MY BUILDING NAMED LIPSHITZ. 325 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,165 [laughs] 326 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,138 - MR. STITTSWORTH, AS OUR SCIENCE TEACHER, 327 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,541 YOU'RE WELL VERSED IN BEAR BEHAVIOR, YES? 328 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,553 - WELL, I WAS HIRED AS A GYM TEACHER, 329 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,645 BUT I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ANSWER KEY. 330 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,787 - HOW OFTEN DO BEARS MURDER HUMAN BEINGS? 331 00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,315 - A HUMAN BEING IS 180 TIMES MORE LIKELY 332 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,020 TO BE KILLED BY A BEE. 333 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,992 [children gasp and murmur] 334 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,531 - NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR. 335 00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,095 - OKAY, FOLKS, TIME'S UP ON TODAY'S SESSION 336 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,555 AND MY NICOTINE PATCH. 337 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,703 WHO CAN GIVE ME A RIDE HOME? 338 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,499 - HEY, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, 339 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,101 I THINK YOU GUYS DID PRETTY GOOD. 340 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,573 - PRETTY GOOD? THIS IS HORRIBLE. 341 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,810 WE'LL NEVER WIN NOW. 342 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,106 - HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? 343 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:23,637 - IT'S LIKE SOMEONE TOLD THEM OUR STRATEGY. 344 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:28,223 - HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING. 345 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:31,615 I DID SOMETHING BAD. YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT. 346 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:35,218 I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT. 347 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,062 [sighs] 348 00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:40,657 I NEVER WASH FRUIT BEFORE I EAT IT. 349 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,430 I KNOW. I KNOW. I CAN'T LOOK AT ME EITHER. 350 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,929 I CAN'T. 351 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,928 - HEY, WILMA. 352 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,844 KIND OF SIMILAR TO THE WAY THINGS PLAY OUT 353 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:49,966 FOR US IN THE REAL WORLD. 354 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:50,970 FUNNY, HUH? 355 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,511 - YOU KNEW SOMETHING. 356 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,535 - A GOOD LAWYER IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD. 357 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,953 - I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT A GOOD LAWYER IS. 358 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,347 WHAT DID SHE WRITE? 359 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,578 - "I DON'T NEED YOU TELL ME WHAT A GOOD LAWYER IS." 360 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,623 - GOOD GOD! 361 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,863 - HITTING THAT APPLE JUICE PRETTY HARD THERE, BUD. 362 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:20,333 - AUNT WILMA'S RIGHT. THIS CASE IS A LOSER. 363 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,873 - HEY, COME ON. THAT'S NOT THE WENDELL I KNOW. 364 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,440 - THE WENDELL YOU KNOW DIED IN THAT COURTROOM TODAY. 365 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,375 [exhales sharply] 366 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,977 IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT HOW THEY KNEW. 367 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,079 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S A MYSTERY, 368 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,321 LIKE HOW THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS 369 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,215 OR HOW TO SPELL "CONNECTICUT." 370 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,488 LISTEN, I GOT TO GO. I GOT A DATE. 371 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,357 - I WAS HOPING THAT KATIE AND I MIGHT HANG OUT TOGETHER ONE DAY. 372 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,886 THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN NOW THAT I'M A PROVEN FAILURE. 373 00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,463 - HEY, IT'S NOT OVER YET. 374 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,560 - IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT HOW THEY KNEW! 375 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,232 - IT'S KIND OF OVER. 376 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,901 [knocking at door] 377 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,940 - THAT'S WILMA. I'LL PUT THE BOTTLES AWAY. 378 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,765 I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE ME LIKE THIS. 379 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:57,769 - [screams] 380 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,340 - AH. STOP THAT! 381 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,239 I HATE THAT. 382 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,942 [screams] 383 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,914 - ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH. 384 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,453 I JUST--I REALIZED 385 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,947 I CAN'T GO ON A DATE WITHOUT SOCKS. 386 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:09,979 HEY, DO ME A FAVOR. 387 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,453 RUN UPSTAIRS. GRAB ME A PAIR OF SOCKS. 388 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,791 - WHY CAN'T YOU GET YOUR OWN SOCKS? 389 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:13,945 - IT'S WHAT WE DO IN OUR FAMILY. 390 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,994 WE'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN EACH OTHER SOCKS. 391 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,789 - WHY'D YOU SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE? 392 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:18,930 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 393 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,386 - WELL, I WAS WAITING FOR YOU IN MY CAR, 394 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,933 BUT I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM. 395 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,799 - SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE ARE NO EMPTY SODA BOTTLES 396 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,496 IN YOUR CAR? 397 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,568 JUST PUT THE SEAT BACK UP WHEN YOU'RE DONE. 398 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,967 - HERE YOU GO, UNCLE VINNIE. 399 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,939 - MATCHING SOCKS? WHAT AM I, A BANKER? 400 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,038 GET BACK UP THERE. 401 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,709 - FOR A GUY WITH A HAMBURGER ON HIS T-SHIRT, 402 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,306 YOU SHOULD DO CARE A LOT ABOUT YOUR SOCKS. 403 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:38,978 - IS THIS YOU, OR IS THIS THE JUICE TALKING? 404 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,249 - MY PAPER! 405 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,117 [air whooshing] 406 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,254 - HEY, GUYS. HOW'S IT GOING? 407 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,064 - TO THE KITCHEN! - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 408 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,016 - I MADE RUM CAKE. - RUM CAKE? 409 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,834 - YEAH, YOU EAT TOO MUCH; YOU DRINK TOO MUCH. 410 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,255 HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS? 411 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,031 - I CAN EXPLAIN THE EMPTY BOTTLES! 412 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,239 - UH, THERE'S NO RUM CAKE IN THERE. 413 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,306 - IT'S CAMOUFLAGED. JUST LICK EVERYTHING. 414 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,176 I GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY SEE YOU. 415 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,048 - I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. - MM. 416 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,254 - THAT IS SO MESSED UP. 417 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,563 - TELL ME ABOUT IT. 418 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,894 - SINCE THAT WAS OUR LAST WITNESS, 419 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,732 WE'LL MOVE ON TO CLOSING ARGUMENTS. 420 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,597 LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT BRIEF. 421 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,596 THE COURT HAS A TICKET 422 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,567 TO THE 3:00 P.M. TOM CRUISE MOVIE. 423 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,865 THE COURT LOVES CRUISE. 424 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,297 - ACTUALLY, WITH THE COURT'S INDULGENCE, 425 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,414 I HAVE ONE MORE WITNESS TO CALL, YOUR HONOR. 426 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,536 - SERIOUSLY. 427 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,210 YOU ALL REALIZE THIS MEANS NOTHING, RIGHT? 428 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,610 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WENDELL? WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER WITNESS. 429 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,822 - THE DEFENSE CALLS MR. VINCENT J. BASSET. 430 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,045 - WHAT? 431 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,750 - WENDELL, I HAVEN'T PREPARED A CHARACTER. 432 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:52,791 - JUST BE YOURSELF. 433 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,815 - MYSELF: THE ULTIMATE ROLE. 434 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,830 - STATE YOUR NAME, OCCUPATION, 435 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,428 AND RELATION TO ME FOR THE COURT, PLEASE. 436 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,530 - VINNIE BASSET, DEALER OF FINE COLLECTIBLES, 437 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,542 AND I'M ABOUT FOUR FEET AWAY FROM YOU. 438 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,495 - AND YOU ARE MY UNCLE AND GUARDIAN. 439 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,703 - I AM. 440 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,474 - MR. BASSET, IS TRUE THAT ON TUESDAY LAST, 441 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,883 YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH THE ADVISOR TO THE PROSECUTION, 442 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,805 MISS NICHELLE NETTLES? 443 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,250 [children murmur] 444 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,877 - YOU'RE THE TRAITOR? HOW COULD YOU? 445 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,052 - IT JUST SLIPPED OUT, ALL RIGHT? 446 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,952 I'M SORRY. 447 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,093 - NOT SO FAST, MR. BASSET. 448 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,659 I HAVE A FEW MORE QUESTIONS FOR YOU. 449 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,257 NOW, YOU'RE NOT AN OVERLY EDUCATED MAN, ARE YOU? 450 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,961 - I HAVE A PhD IN KEEPING IT REAL, 451 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:36,962 IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. 452 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:37,903 OH! 453 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,840 - MR. BASSET, DO YOU KNOW WHAT BEARS DO IN THE WINTER? 454 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,366 - I DON'T KNOW. THEY HIBERNATE, RIGHT? 455 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,472 - CORRECT. THEY HIBERNATE. 456 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,814 I ASK MR. BASSET NOT BECAUSE HE'S AN EXPERT, 457 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,379 BUT BECAUSE HE'S THE OPPOSITE. 458 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,448 IF THERE WAS A LESS OFFENSIVE WORD THAN "SIMPLETON," 459 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,946 I'D USE IT. 460 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,218 AND EVEN HE KNOWS BEARS HIBERNATE IN THE WINTER. 461 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,719 MR. BASSET, PLEASE READ BACK PAPA BEAR'S TESTIMONY. 462 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,792 - [growls] 463 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,490 PAPA BEAR. 464 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,702 WATCH AND LEARN, KID. 465 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,995 [dopey voice] DOH-HEY! 466 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,496 "SO WE WERE BUNDLED UP IN OUR HATS, COATS, AND SCARVES, 467 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,269 TAKING IN THE DECEMBER MORNING"-- 468 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,197 - AH, SO IT WAS WINTER. 469 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,803 BEARS WOULD BE SOUND ASLEEP. 470 00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,914 THERE WOULD BE NO OPEN DOOR, NO PORRIDGE, 471 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,106 NO STROLL, AND CERTAINLY NO INVADER. 472 00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,709 CONSIDERING ALL THE REASONABLE DOUBT, 473 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,280 CAN YOU, IN ALL GOOD CONSCIENCE, 474 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,878 CONVICT THIS INNOCENT, SWEET GIRL, 475 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,920 WHO'S HOPEFULLY MORE LAYERED THAN SHE APPEARS? 476 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,688 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, 477 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,116 SET GOLDILOCKS FREE. 478 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,492 THANK YOU. 479 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,460 - OH, BOOM! 480 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,241 - I'M SORRY, WENDELL. 481 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,037 REALLY. 482 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,008 HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT? 483 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,537 EVENTUALLY YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO TALK TO ME. 484 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,314 MAYBE NOT NOW, 485 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,422 BUT YOU GOT SIX YEARS BEFORE YOU GO TO COLLEGE. 486 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,045 YOU'RE GONNA WANT A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING. 487 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,851 - DIDN'T YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS WAS TO ME? 488 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,164 UNCLE VINNIE, 489 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,486 I'M NEVER GOING TO SCORE THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN 490 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,661 OR MAKE THAT SHOT AT THE BUZZER, 491 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:17,760 BUT THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN DO. 492 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:22,704 THIS IS PLACE WHERE I CAN SHOW EVERYONE I'M WORTH SOMETHING, 493 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,842 AND YOU ALMOST GAVE THAT AWAY. 494 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,308 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 495 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,208 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU, 496 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,780 BUT I DO NOW. 497 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,349 I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A PROMISE. 498 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,918 THIS WILL NOT BE MY LAST MISTAKE. 499 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,188 I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN. 500 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,758 YOU KNOW, I'M NEW TO ALL THIS. 501 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,286 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'LL TRY HARDER, 502 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,363 AND FROM NOW ON-- 503 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,595 WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? 504 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,342 - YOU'RE SORRY. - RIGHT, YEAH. 505 00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,537 YES, I AM. 506 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,038 AND I'M PROUD OF YOU. 507 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,309 YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB TODAY. 508 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,509 - I REALLY JAM DUNKED IT, DIDN'T I? 509 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,012 - YEAH. 510 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:11,523 YOU REALLY JAM DUNKED IT. 511 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:14,848 - HAS THE MOCK JURY REACHED ITS POINTLESS VERDICT? 512 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,593 "WE THE JURY FIND GOLDILOCKS 513 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,932 NOT GUILTY." 514 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,757 [cheers and applause] 515 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,238 - NICE JOB, WENDELL. 516 00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,995 - OH, YOU SPIT IN YOUR HAND, DIDN'T YOU? 517 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:39,905 - THANK YOU. 518 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,452 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 519 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,246 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, EDDIE. - IT'S WENDELL. 520 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,923 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 521 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,760 WAIT FOR EDDIE! 522 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,316 - COME ON, VINNIE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 523 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,334 - COME ON, VINNIE. 524 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,255 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 525 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:57,101 I HAVE RESERVATIONS FOR DINNER AND DESSERT 526 00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,296 AND DESSERT. 527 00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,398 - WERE YOU JUST WITH ME TO GET THE INFORMATION? 528 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,970 - NO. 529 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,868 I AM VERY ATTRACTED TO YOU 530 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:08,480 BECAUSE YOU ARE A MATURE AND HANDSOME MAN. 531 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,209 - DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BUYING THAT. 532 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,553 - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! 533 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,920 - [shrieks] 534 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,791 DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT! 535 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,290 OH, GOD, NO. 536 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,562 - HOW ARE YOU STILL READING THE SHINING? 537 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,930 - OH, I FINISHED THAT YESTERDAY. 538 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,600 OH, GROSS. 539 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,299 - THEN WHAT ARE YOU READING NOW? 540 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,241 - WILMA'S DIARY. 541 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,235 OH, DEAR GOD. 542 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,806 - WAIT TILL YOU GET TO BIBLE CAMP. 38113

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