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1
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:12,248
- WHOA, WHOA, WENDELL.
2
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,946
THESE ARE COLLECTIBLES.
3
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,047
I HAD A WHOLE KINGDOM
OF ASTERGOTH SCENARIO HERE.
4
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,391
THE WOOD ELVES
WERE ABOUT TO CLASH
5
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,746
WITH THE FIRE GOBLINS
OF AVALASH
6
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,423
TO GAIN VICTORY
FOR EMPEROR ELIDOR.
7
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,493
- AND PEOPLE THINK I'M THE NERD.
8
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:25,962
- OH, NO, NO, NO.
9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,629
YOU'RE A NERD.
I'M A GEEK.
10
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,629
- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
11
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,330
- HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS?
12
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,402
OKAY.
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,340
OH, YOU KNOW
THAT MOON OF JUPITER?
14
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,035
- OH, WHICH ONE?
THERE'S 67 OF THEM.
15
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,566
- NERD!
16
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,275
- HEY, GUYS.
17
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,936
CAN I READ THIS OVER HERE?
- WHY?
18
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,484
- THIS BOOK IS SUPER SCARY,
19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,979
AND I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE.
20
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,750
NOW, EVERYONE, LEAVE ME ALONE.
21
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:50,780
- [yelps]
22
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,824
[sighs]
23
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,259
COME ON, THIS IS MY JOB HERE.
24
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,085
I DON'T COME TO YOUR APARTMENT
AND PUT MY FEET UP
25
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,630
ON YOUR ALIMONY CHECK.
26
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:58,855
- HEY, HEY.
27
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,129
- HEY, AUNT WILMA.
- OH, MY GOD!
28
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,929
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE LET HIM DO THAT.
29
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,370
- SHE READING MY DIARY?
30
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,139
HEY, WENDELL.
31
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,865
ALL RIGHT, TALK TO ME
ABOUT THIS MOCK TRIAL
32
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,139
GOING ON AT YOUR SCHOOL.
33
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,808
- OKAY, I'M THE DEFENSE LAWYER,
34
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,865
AND MY OPPOSING COUNSEL
IS MY FRIEND LACY.
35
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:14,914
- ALL RIGHTY.
36
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,378
- [yelps]
37
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,777
- I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FOLLOWING
MY FOOTSTEPS INTO LAW.
38
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,949
NOW, TELL ME ABOUT THIS CASE.
39
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,717
I'M HERE TO HELP.
- OKAY.
40
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,515
IT IS GOLDILOCKS
VERSUS THE THREE BEARS,
41
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,187
AND WE ARE REPRESENTING
GOLDILOCKS.
42
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,746
- I'M OUT.
43
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,194
- WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU'RE OUT?
44
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,459
- WELL, IT'S A LOSER.
45
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,357
IT'S A CLEAR CASE OF VANDALISM
AND TRESPASSING.
46
00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:33,389
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
THE PORRIDGE LAWS IN THIS STATE,
47
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,904
BUT THAT GIRL
IS LOOKING AT SOME HARD TIME.
48
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,227
- BUT, AUNT WILMA, EVEN
THE GUILTY DESERVE A DEFENSE.
49
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,044
AND A TRIAL
ISN'T JUST ABOUT WINNING.
50
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,865
IT'S ABOUT A SEARCH
FOR THE TRUTH.
51
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,411
- OH, SEE.
52
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,976
NOW, THERE'S YOUR FAIRY TALE.
53
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,276
- AND THERE'S THIS GIRL
NAMED KATIE PLAYING GOLDILOCKS.
54
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,609
- OH, IS THAT "CUTE KATIE"?
55
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,224
- PLEASE DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL
ABOUT THIS.
56
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,216
- WENDELL'S GOT A CRUSH.
57
00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,188
WENDELL LOVES KATIE.
58
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,987
- "I LOVE YOU, KATIE."
59
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,858
"I LOVE YOU TOO, WENDELL."
60
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,887
- THANKS FOR HOLDING BACK.
61
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,333
- WENDELL, I'M SORRY.
I JUST CAN'T HELP.
62
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,499
- I UNDERSTAND.
63
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,927
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE
TO TAKE ON LACY
64
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,771
AND HER HOTSHOT ATTORNEY,
NICHELLE NETTLES, BY MYSELF.
65
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,637
- WHOA, WHAT?
66
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,736
NICHELLE NETTLES
IS HER ATTORNEY?
67
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,969
I'M BACK IN.
68
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,683
THAT YOGA-BUTTED,
WRINKLE-RESISTANT ICE QUEEN
69
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,876
JUST HAPPENS TO BE
MY ARCHNEMESIS.
70
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,208
- I THOUGHT YOU TWO
WERE FRIENDS.
71
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,284
- YEAH, WE'RE GREAT FRIENDS
72
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,881
IN THAT
I-HOPE-YOU-GET-FAT-BEFORE-ME
73
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,782
KIND OF WAY.
74
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,294
- TOO LATE.
75
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:37,232
[quirky brass music]
76
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,225
*
77
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,256
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
78
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,061
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
79
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,232
- * I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
80
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:46,972
- * NEVER FELT SO GOOD
81
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,897
- * SO WAIT A MINUTE
82
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,902
* HEY
83
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,343
* I NEVER FELT SO GOOD
84
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,280
- GOOD LUCK, LACY.
85
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,252
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
WE'LL STILL BE FRIENDS.
86
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,091
- LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH IT, WENDELL.
87
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,515
I'VE GOT A GREAT CASE
88
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,590
AND ICE CREAM SANDWICHES
FOR THE JURY.
89
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,691
UH-OH.
90
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,133
- HI, KATIE.
I LOOK FORWARD TO DEFENDING YOU.
91
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,331
- THERE'S AN APP ON MY PHONE
92
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,503
THAT MAKES ME
LOOK LIKE A UNICORN.
93
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,367
- GOOD AFTERNOON, STUDENTS.
94
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,113
I'M JUDGE SALVADORIE.
95
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:31,177
I'M HERE AS A VOLUNTEER, AGAIN,
96
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,978
TO GUIDE YOU
THROUGH THE EXCITING PROCESS
97
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,921
THAT IS OUR LEGAL--
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL HERE.
98
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,286
YOU CAN READ IT FOR YOURSELVES.
99
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,745
- YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE
TO WELCOME OPPOSING COUNSEL
100
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:43,523
BACK FROM RE--LAXATION PLACE,
101
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,634
SAY--SAY THAT
WE ALL SUPPORT YOU AND--
102
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,627
[clicks tongue]
103
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,898
GOSH, HOPE IT STICKS THIS TIME.
104
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,998
- AND I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE
WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, WILMA,
105
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,971
WHOSE HEART AND SOUL
ARE AS OPENLY ON DISPLAY
106
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,310
AS HER ROOTS.
107
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,341
[door rattling]
108
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,713
- STUPID DOOR!
109
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,411
IT'S SUPPOSED TO OPEN OUT.
110
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,853
IF THERE'S EVER A FIRE
IN THIS PLACE,
111
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,747
EVERYBODY'S GONNA BURN
TO A CRISP!
112
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,349
HEY, KIDS.
113
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,052
HEY, I KNOW YOU.
114
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,523
NICHELLE IS IT?
115
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,762
WE MET A FEW WEEKS AGO.
116
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,526
- AIR HOCKEY TABLE
IN THE DINING ROOM.
117
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,085
- I'M LIVING THE DREAM.
118
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,492
- HEY, AIR HOCKEY,
119
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,334
YOU'RE CUTTING
INTO MY WHEEL OF FORTUNE TIME.
120
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,330
- SORRY, YOUR HONOR,
I JUST CAME TO PICK UP WENDELL,
121
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,332
BUT I GUESS I'M EARLY.
122
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,373
I'LL JUST WAIT IN THE HALL.
123
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:29,237
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, NICHELLE.
124
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,766
THIS PLACE IS A DEATH TRAP!
125
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,941
SEE YOU, KIDS.
126
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,348
- OKAY, THE DRAGON IS THE JUDGE,
127
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:40,175
AND THE WOOD ELVES ARE THE JURY.
128
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,650
- WHO'S THIS UGLY ONE?
129
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,079
- SNEED THE DUNG COLLECTOR.
130
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:48,164
- OKAY, THAT'S NICHELLE.
131
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,355
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S PRACTICE
SOME CROSS-EXAMINATION.
132
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,358
WHICH ONE OF US
SHOULD BE GOLDILOCKS?
133
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,900
- WELL, I'M A WOMAN,
BUT YOU'RE A BLONDE.
134
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,155
- SO ARE YOU.
135
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,902
- VINNIE, VINNIE, QUICK.
COME OVER HERE.
136
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,371
WE NEED A GOLDILOCKS.
- NO CAN DO.
137
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,200
I GOT A DATE.
- HA!
138
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,644
VINNIE'S GOT A DATE.
139
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,039
"OOH, LOOK AT ME.
I'M VINNIE.
140
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,610
"I'M ON A DATE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?"
141
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,009
"OH, I'M
A SUCCESSFUL ACCOUNTANT,
142
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,610
USED TO WORK
FOR ONE OF THE BIG FOUR, BUT"--
143
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,883
OH, I'M NO GOOD AT MOCKERY.
144
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,283
- GET IN THE CHAIR, GOLDILOCKS.
145
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,694
- FINE, I'LL GIVE YOU
FIVE MINUTES.
146
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:19,686
- [shrieks]
147
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,087
- OH, MY--
- SHH.
148
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,291
- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?
149
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,192
ARE THOSE THE SAME CLOTHES
YOU HAD ON YESTERDAY?
150
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,204
- HAVEN'T YOU EVER HAD A BOOK
YOU COULDN'T PUT DOWN?
151
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,156
- YES, 'CAUSE IT TRANSPORTED ME
152
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,074
TO A MAGICAL WORLD
OF MAKE-BELIEVE.
153
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,297
BOOKS.
154
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,842
- COME OVER HERE.
IN THE CHAIR.
155
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,637
- ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
156
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:39,969
- OKAY.
157
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,213
STATE YOUR NAME.
158
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,478
- [high-pitched]
LOCKS, GOLD E. LOCKS.
159
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,948
"E" IS FOR ELIZABETH,
160
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,576
GOLD ELIZABETH LOCKS.
161
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,621
- OKAY, OKAY, MERYL STREEP.
DIAL IT BACK.
162
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,677
JUST PLAY IT STRAIGHT.
163
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,594
- [normal voice]
WHAT? I'M IN CHARACTER.
164
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,656
- GOLDILOCKS, WHY DID YOU EAT
THE BEARS' PORRIDGE?
165
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,726
- [high-pitched] WELL,
I WAS OUT CLUBBING ALL NIGHT,
166
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,485
YOU KNOW,
RAISING THE GINGERBREAD ROOF,
167
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,134
WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME
HUNGRY,
168
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,769
AND I THOUGHT
I'D SNAG SOME FREE GRUB.
169
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,325
- WELL, I'M SORRY, WENDELL,
BUT YOU JUST LOST THE CASE.
170
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,174
SHE JUST ADMITTED
TO BREAKING AND ENTERING.
171
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,639
ALL RIGHT, DON'T DO GOLDILOCKS.
172
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,638
NOW--NOW YOU'RE PAPA BEAR.
GO.
173
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,580
- [normal voice]
WHOA, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
174
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,905
GRIZZLY? POLAR? GUMMY?
175
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,149
I GOT A LOT OF RANGE.
176
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,905
- OKAY, PAPA BEAR,
177
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,253
DESCRIBE THE EVENTS
OF THE MORNING IN QUESTION.
178
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,649
- [dopey voice] OKAY.
179
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,051
SO I WOKE UP,
180
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,722
AND I TOOK THE WHOLE FAMILY OUT
181
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,360
FOR OUR MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL.
182
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,215
YOU SEE,
BEARS DON'T USE BATHROOMS.
183
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,563
WE GO INTO THE WOODS.
184
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,159
- WE GET IT. WE GET IT.
WE GET IT.
185
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,630
DON'T LET HIM TELL HIS STORY.
186
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,458
MAKE HIM TELL YOUR STORY.
187
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,804
- BUT I JUST WANT TO LAY OUT
THE FACTS
188
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,098
AND GET TO THE TRUTH.
189
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,100
- WHAT KIND OF LAWYER ARE YOU?
190
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,842
HAVE A SEAT.
191
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:48,137
- ALL RIGHT, MR. BEAR--
IF THAT IS YOUR REAL SPECIES.
192
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,841
IN THE FOREST, YOU'RE AT THE TOP
OF THE FOOD CHAIN.
193
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:51,854
AM I RIGHT?
194
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,575
- WELL, I AM A CARNIVORE
195
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:57,721
OF SOME STATURE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, YEAH.
196
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,088
- CARNIVORE, MEAT--
A MEAT EATER.
197
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,187
PEOPLE ARE MADE OF MEAT,
AM I RIGHT?
198
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:06,690
DID YOU NOT LEAVE YOUR DOOR OPEN
AND LEAVE PORRIDGE OUT
199
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,364
TO LURE
AN UNSUSPECTING HUMAN INSIDE?
200
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,002
- I DIDN'T--
201
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,898
- HOPING THAT THE PERSON
WOULD EAT THE PORRIDGE,
202
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,130
THEN DOZE OFF,
203
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,604
LEAVING YOU A NICELY WRAPPED
BREAKFAST BURRITO
204
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:19,244
IN A BED THAT WAS JUST RIGHT.
205
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:20,539
- IT WASN'T LIKE THAT!
206
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,511
- SIR, I REMIND YOU
THAT YOU ARE UNDER OATH.
207
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,540
- OKAY, FINE!
208
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,714
IT WAS ALL MAMA BEAR'S IDEA.
209
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:27,784
YOU KNOW WHAT?
210
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,081
THERE'VE BEEN OTHERS.
211
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:32,322
HANSEL, GRETEL,
RED RIDING HOOD'S GRANDMA:
212
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,219
WE ATE THEM ALL!
213
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,061
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE WALDO IS?
214
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,161
IN MY HEARTLESS WIFE'S
BOTTOMLESS STOMACH.
215
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,561
[normal voice]
OKAY, DATE TIME.
216
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,404
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S IT.
217
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,198
WE'LL DO THE MURDER ANGLE.
218
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,740
THAT IS HOW
WE'RE GONNA HUMILIATE NICHELLE.
219
00:07:49,737 --> 00:07:51,367
- AND WIN THE CASE.
220
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,941
- YEAH, NO, SURE.
WHATEVER.
221
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,149
- SORRY I WAS LATE.
222
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,545
- NO WORRIES.
HI.
223
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,618
- I GOT ROPED IN
TO HELPING WENDELL AND WILMA
224
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,816
REHEARSE FOR THEIR
MOCK TRIAL THING.
225
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,688
OH! YES!
226
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,817
COCONUT SHRIMP, MY FAVORITE.
227
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,922
- I KNOW.
228
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,363
I AM PRETTY GOOD
AT DOING MY RESEARCH.
229
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,189
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOOD AT?
230
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,134
SHRIMP TAIL PUPPET SHOWS.
231
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:20,600
"SO, SHRIMPY, I HEAR
YOU MANAGE A BASEBALL TEAM.
232
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,601
WHAT'S THE NAME
OF THE FIRST BASEMAN?"
233
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,443
"WHO."
234
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,407
- YOU ARE A REFRESHING
CHANGE OF PACE.
235
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,576
- WHY'S THAT?
236
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,775
- WELL, I'M USED TO GOING OUT
237
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,876
WITH VERY SERIOUS,
ACCOMPLISHED PROFESSIONAL MEN.
238
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,608
- OH, YOU WON'T HAVE
THAT PROBLEM TONIGHT.
239
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,824
RIGHT, SHRIMPY?
240
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,245
"RIGHT!"
241
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,379
- I'M CURIOUS.
242
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,694
WHAT DID WILMA HAVE TO SAY
243
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,886
WHEN YOU TOLD HER THAT
WERE GOING OUT ON THIS DATE?
244
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,188
- I DIDN'T TELL HER.
245
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,659
SHE'D FREAK.
246
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:47,627
RIGHT, SHRIMPY?
- STOP TALKING LIKE A SHRIMP.
247
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,998
- OKAY, BUT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT
THE SHRIMP SHOW,
248
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,327
WHY'D YOU ORDER IT?
249
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,643
- I'M SORRY
THAT YOU HAD TO LIE TO WILMA.
250
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,196
YOU KNOW, I REALLY DO LOVE HER.
251
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,744
SHE'S LIKE A YOUNGER,
SLUTTIER SISTER TO ME.
252
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,341
UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S ALWAYS
BEEN JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS,
253
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:07,623
MY FLAWLESS SKIN, MY EXTENSIVE
LINGERIE COLLECTION,
254
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,315
AND NOW
THIS SILLY MOCK TRIAL TOO.
255
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,717
- WELL, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
256
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,249
SHE'S TRYING TO TURN
MY SWEET WENDELL INTO A SHARK.
257
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,694
SHE'S PUSHING HER OWN THEORY
ON HOW TO WIN THE CASE.
258
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,960
- REALLY?
259
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,788
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD
KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.
260
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,093
- YEAH, OF COURSE.
261
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,904
- I MEAN, YOU AND I
WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY CLOSE
262
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,356
FOR YOU TO SHARE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
263
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,834
- CLOSE?
264
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,144
- VERY CLOSE.
265
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,695
- SO THIS LINGERIE COLLECTION,
266
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,974
WOULD IT POSSIBLY INCLUDE
A CATSUIT?
267
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,544
AND IF THE ANSWER IS YES,
I HAVE A FOLLOW-UP.
268
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,680
- TELL THE JURY WHAT IT WAS LIKE
ON THE DAY IN QUESTION
269
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,783
RETURNING TO YOUR HOME.
270
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,054
- ALL I REMEMBER IS,
271
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,892
WE WERE BUNDLED UP IN OUR HATS,
COATS, AND SCARVES,
272
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,758
TAKING IN THE DECEMBER MORNING,
273
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,257
THEN CAME HOME TO FIND OUR HOUSE
HAD BEEN VIOLATED.
274
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,459
- THAT IS THE WORST PAPA BEAR
I'VE EVER SEEN.
275
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:58,702
I MEAN, WHERE'S THE AUTHORITY,
THE GRAVITAS?
276
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,169
I'M NOT GETTING PAPA OR BEAR.
277
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,738
- PAPA BEAR,
DO YOU SEE THE TRESPASSER
278
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,196
IN THE COURTROOM TODAY?
279
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,214
- HER.
280
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,505
[children gasp]
281
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,436
- LET THE RECORD SHOW
THAT THE WITNESS HAS POINTED
282
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,111
TO THE STUCK-UP GIRL
WHO THINKS SHE'S COOL
283
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,680
BECAUSE SHE DID
A LOCAL COMMERCIAL
284
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,749
FOR HER DAD'S CARPET STORE.
285
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,178
- I TOTALLY BOUGHT YOU
AS THE GIRL
286
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,553
WHO HATED HARDWOOD FLOORS.
287
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,290
- THANK YOU.
288
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,017
- [sniffs deeply]
289
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,563
- NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
YOUR HONOR.
290
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,599
FOLLOW THAT, PUNK.
291
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:37,967
- SO, PAPA BEAR--
IF THAT IS YOUR REAL SPECIES.
292
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,207
YOU'RE AT THE TOP
OF THE FOOD CHAIN, ARE YOU NOT?
293
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,809
- YES.
- PLEASE.
294
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,011
THAT'S A BEAR?
295
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,612
I'M NOT EVEN BUYING
THIS KID IS A HUMAN.
296
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,954
- AND AS A CARNIVORE,
297
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,949
ISN'T IT TRUE THAT
YOU PREFER MEAT TO PORRIDGE?
298
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,991
- WELL, I--
299
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:52,985
- AND ISN'T IT TRUE
300
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,316
THAT THE PORRIDGE
WAS JUST A TRAP?
301
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,491
- I COULD NEVER EAT A HUMAN--
302
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,058
- AS AN APEX PREDATOR,
303
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,857
YOU ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE
OF EATING ANYTHING YOU WANT,
304
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,560
INCLUDING AND ESPECIALLY HUMANS!
305
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,802
[children murmur]
306
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,928
NOW, ISN'T IT TRUE
307
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,233
THAT YOU WERE JUST TRYING
TO LURE
308
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,404
THIS SWEET, BEAUTIFUL,
CARPET-LOVING HUMAN
309
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,443
INTO YOUR LAIR?
310
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,908
IF ANYONE SHOULD BE
ON TRIAL HERE,
311
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,936
IT SHOULD BE THE THREE BEARS
FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER.
312
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,142
[children murmur]
313
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,953
I'M DONE WITH HIM, YOUR HONOR.
314
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,747
- WENDELL, WENDELL.
315
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,579
MORE FOOTBALL, LESS FOSSE.
316
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:27,193
- OKAY, LET'S GO
TO CLOSING STATEMENTS.
317
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,517
- ACTUALLY, YOUR HONOR,
318
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,121
THE PROSECUTION WOULD LIKE
TO CALL AN EXPERT WITNESS,
319
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,494
OUR SCIENCE TEACHER,
MR. STITTSWORTH.
320
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,603
[children murmuring]
321
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,925
- PFFT!
322
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,400
STITTSWORTH.
323
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,598
OH, MAN.
324
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,039
THERE'S A GUY IN MY BUILDING
NAMED LIPSHITZ.
325
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,165
[laughs]
326
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,138
- MR. STITTSWORTH,
AS OUR SCIENCE TEACHER,
327
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,541
YOU'RE WELL VERSED
IN BEAR BEHAVIOR, YES?
328
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,553
- WELL, I WAS HIRED
AS A GYM TEACHER,
329
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,645
BUT I HAVE ACCESS
TO THE ANSWER KEY.
330
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,787
- HOW OFTEN DO BEARS
MURDER HUMAN BEINGS?
331
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,315
- A HUMAN BEING
IS 180 TIMES MORE LIKELY
332
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,020
TO BE KILLED BY A BEE.
333
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,992
[children gasp and murmur]
334
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,531
- NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
YOUR HONOR.
335
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,095
- OKAY, FOLKS,
TIME'S UP ON TODAY'S SESSION
336
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,555
AND MY NICOTINE PATCH.
337
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,703
WHO CAN GIVE ME A RIDE HOME?
338
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,499
- HEY, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED,
339
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,101
I THINK YOU GUYS
DID PRETTY GOOD.
340
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,573
- PRETTY GOOD?
THIS IS HORRIBLE.
341
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,810
WE'LL NEVER WIN NOW.
342
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,106
- HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?
343
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:23,637
- IT'S LIKE SOMEONE TOLD THEM
OUR STRATEGY.
344
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:28,223
- HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU GUYS
SOMETHING.
345
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:31,615
I DID SOMETHING BAD.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT.
346
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:35,218
I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.
347
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,062
[sighs]
348
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:40,657
I NEVER WASH FRUIT
BEFORE I EAT IT.
349
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,430
I KNOW. I KNOW.
I CAN'T LOOK AT ME EITHER.
350
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,929
I CAN'T.
351
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,928
- HEY, WILMA.
352
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,844
KIND OF SIMILAR
TO THE WAY THINGS PLAY OUT
353
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:49,966
FOR US IN THE REAL WORLD.
354
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:50,970
FUNNY, HUH?
355
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,511
- YOU KNEW SOMETHING.
356
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,535
- A GOOD LAWYER
IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD.
357
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,953
- I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME
WHAT A GOOD LAWYER IS.
358
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,347
WHAT DID SHE WRITE?
359
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,578
- "I DON'T NEED YOU TELL ME
WHAT A GOOD LAWYER IS."
360
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:04,623
- GOOD GOD!
361
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,863
- HITTING THAT APPLE JUICE
PRETTY HARD THERE, BUD.
362
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:20,333
- AUNT WILMA'S RIGHT.
THIS CASE IS A LOSER.
363
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,873
- HEY, COME ON.
THAT'S NOT THE WENDELL I KNOW.
364
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,440
- THE WENDELL YOU KNOW
DIED IN THAT COURTROOM TODAY.
365
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,375
[exhales sharply]
366
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,977
IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT
HOW THEY KNEW.
367
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,079
- YEAH, WELL, IT'S A MYSTERY,
368
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,321
LIKE HOW THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS
369
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,215
OR HOW TO SPELL "CONNECTICUT."
370
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,488
LISTEN, I GOT TO GO.
I GOT A DATE.
371
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,357
- I WAS HOPING THAT KATIE AND I
MIGHT HANG OUT TOGETHER ONE DAY.
372
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,886
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN
NOW THAT I'M A PROVEN FAILURE.
373
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,463
- HEY, IT'S NOT OVER YET.
374
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,560
- IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT
HOW THEY KNEW!
375
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,232
- IT'S KIND OF OVER.
376
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,901
[knocking at door]
377
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,940
- THAT'S WILMA.
I'LL PUT THE BOTTLES AWAY.
378
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,765
I DON'T WANT HER
TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.
379
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:57,769
- [screams]
380
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,340
- AH.
STOP THAT!
381
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,239
I HATE THAT.
382
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,942
[screams]
383
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,914
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- YEAH.
384
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,453
I JUST--I REALIZED
385
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,947
I CAN'T GO ON A DATE
WITHOUT SOCKS.
386
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:09,979
HEY, DO ME A FAVOR.
387
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,453
RUN UPSTAIRS.
GRAB ME A PAIR OF SOCKS.
388
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,791
- WHY CAN'T YOU
GET YOUR OWN SOCKS?
389
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:13,945
- IT'S WHAT WE DO IN OUR FAMILY.
390
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,994
WE'VE ALWAYS
GOTTEN EACH OTHER SOCKS.
391
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,789
- WHY'D YOU SLAM THE DOOR
IN MY FACE?
392
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:18,930
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
393
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,386
- WELL, I WAS WAITING FOR YOU
IN MY CAR,
394
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,933
BUT I REALLY NEED TO USE
THE BATHROOM.
395
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,799
- SO YOU'RE SAYING
THERE ARE NO EMPTY SODA BOTTLES
396
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,496
IN YOUR CAR?
397
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,568
JUST PUT THE SEAT BACK UP
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
398
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,967
- HERE YOU GO, UNCLE VINNIE.
399
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,939
- MATCHING SOCKS?
WHAT AM I, A BANKER?
400
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,038
GET BACK UP THERE.
401
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,709
- FOR A GUY WITH A HAMBURGER
ON HIS T-SHIRT,
402
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,306
YOU SHOULD DO CARE A LOT
ABOUT YOUR SOCKS.
403
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:38,978
- IS THIS YOU,
OR IS THIS THE JUICE TALKING?
404
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,249
- MY PAPER!
405
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,117
[air whooshing]
406
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,254
- HEY, GUYS.
HOW'S IT GOING?
407
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,064
- TO THE KITCHEN!
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
408
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,016
- I MADE RUM CAKE.
- RUM CAKE?
409
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,834
- YEAH, YOU EAT TOO MUCH;
YOU DRINK TOO MUCH.
410
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,255
HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE THIS?
411
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,031
- I CAN EXPLAIN
THE EMPTY BOTTLES!
412
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,239
- UH, THERE'S NO RUM CAKE
IN THERE.
413
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,306
- IT'S CAMOUFLAGED.
JUST LICK EVERYTHING.
414
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,176
I GOT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE
BEFORE THEY SEE YOU.
415
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,048
- I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE.
- MM.
416
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,254
- THAT IS SO MESSED UP.
417
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,563
- TELL ME ABOUT IT.
418
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,894
- SINCE THAT
WAS OUR LAST WITNESS,
419
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,732
WE'LL MOVE ON
TO CLOSING ARGUMENTS.
420
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,597
LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT BRIEF.
421
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,596
THE COURT HAS A TICKET
422
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,567
TO THE 3:00 P.M.
TOM CRUISE MOVIE.
423
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,865
THE COURT LOVES CRUISE.
424
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,297
- ACTUALLY,
WITH THE COURT'S INDULGENCE,
425
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,414
I HAVE ONE MORE WITNESS TO CALL,
YOUR HONOR.
426
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,536
- SERIOUSLY.
427
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,210
YOU ALL REALIZE
THIS MEANS NOTHING, RIGHT?
428
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,610
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WENDELL?
WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER WITNESS.
429
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,822
- THE DEFENSE CALLS
MR. VINCENT J. BASSET.
430
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,045
- WHAT?
431
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,750
- WENDELL, I HAVEN'T PREPARED
A CHARACTER.
432
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:52,791
- JUST BE YOURSELF.
433
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,815
- MYSELF: THE ULTIMATE ROLE.
434
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,830
- STATE YOUR NAME, OCCUPATION,
435
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,428
AND RELATION TO ME
FOR THE COURT, PLEASE.
436
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,530
- VINNIE BASSET,
DEALER OF FINE COLLECTIBLES,
437
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,542
AND I'M ABOUT FOUR FEET AWAY
FROM YOU.
438
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,495
- AND YOU ARE MY UNCLE
AND GUARDIAN.
439
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,703
- I AM.
440
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,474
- MR. BASSET,
IS TRUE THAT ON TUESDAY LAST,
441
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,883
YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH
THE ADVISOR TO THE PROSECUTION,
442
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,805
MISS NICHELLE NETTLES?
443
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,250
[children murmur]
444
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,877
- YOU'RE THE TRAITOR?
HOW COULD YOU?
445
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,052
- IT JUST SLIPPED OUT,
ALL RIGHT?
446
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,952
I'M SORRY.
447
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,093
- NOT SO FAST, MR. BASSET.
448
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,659
I HAVE A FEW MORE QUESTIONS
FOR YOU.
449
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:34,257
NOW, YOU'RE NOT
AN OVERLY EDUCATED MAN, ARE YOU?
450
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,961
- I HAVE A PhD
IN KEEPING IT REAL,
451
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:36,962
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
452
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:37,903
OH!
453
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,840
- MR. BASSET, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT BEARS DO IN THE WINTER?
454
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,366
- I DON'T KNOW.
THEY HIBERNATE, RIGHT?
455
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,472
- CORRECT.
THEY HIBERNATE.
456
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,814
I ASK MR. BASSET
NOT BECAUSE HE'S AN EXPERT,
457
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,379
BUT BECAUSE HE'S THE OPPOSITE.
458
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,448
IF THERE WAS A LESS OFFENSIVE
WORD THAN "SIMPLETON,"
459
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,946
I'D USE IT.
460
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,218
AND EVEN HE KNOWS
BEARS HIBERNATE IN THE WINTER.
461
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,719
MR. BASSET, PLEASE READ BACK
PAPA BEAR'S TESTIMONY.
462
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,792
- [growls]
463
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,490
PAPA BEAR.
464
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,702
WATCH AND LEARN, KID.
465
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:09,995
[dopey voice]
DOH-HEY!
466
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,496
"SO WE WERE BUNDLED UP
IN OUR HATS, COATS, AND SCARVES,
467
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,269
TAKING IN
THE DECEMBER MORNING"--
468
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,197
- AH, SO IT WAS WINTER.
469
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,803
BEARS WOULD BE SOUND ASLEEP.
470
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,914
THERE WOULD BE NO OPEN DOOR,
NO PORRIDGE,
471
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,106
NO STROLL,
AND CERTAINLY NO INVADER.
472
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,709
CONSIDERING ALL
THE REASONABLE DOUBT,
473
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,280
CAN YOU, IN ALL GOOD CONSCIENCE,
474
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,878
CONVICT THIS INNOCENT,
SWEET GIRL,
475
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,920
WHO'S HOPEFULLY MORE LAYERED
THAN SHE APPEARS?
476
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,688
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
OF THE JURY,
477
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,116
SET GOLDILOCKS FREE.
478
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,492
THANK YOU.
479
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,460
- OH, BOOM!
480
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,241
- I'M SORRY, WENDELL.
481
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,037
REALLY.
482
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,008
HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME
THE SILENT TREATMENT?
483
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,537
EVENTUALLY YOU'RE GONNA WANT
TO TALK TO ME.
484
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,314
MAYBE NOT NOW,
485
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:02,422
BUT YOU GOT SIX YEARS
BEFORE YOU GO TO COLLEGE.
486
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,045
YOU'RE GONNA WANT A SANDWICH
OR SOMETHING.
487
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,851
- DIDN'T YOU KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT THIS WAS TO ME?
488
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,164
UNCLE VINNIE,
489
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,486
I'M NEVER GOING
TO SCORE THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN
490
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,661
OR MAKE THAT SHOT AT THE BUZZER,
491
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:17,760
BUT THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN DO.
492
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:22,704
THIS IS PLACE WHERE I CAN SHOW
EVERYONE I'M WORTH SOMETHING,
493
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,842
AND YOU ALMOST GAVE THAT AWAY.
494
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,308
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
495
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,208
I DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU,
496
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,780
BUT I DO NOW.
497
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,349
I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A PROMISE.
498
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,918
THIS WILL NOT BE
MY LAST MISTAKE.
499
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,188
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
500
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,758
YOU KNOW, I'M NEW TO ALL THIS.
501
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,286
BUT, YOU KNOW, I'LL TRY HARDER,
502
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,363
AND FROM NOW ON--
503
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,595
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
504
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,342
- YOU'RE SORRY.
- RIGHT, YEAH.
505
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,537
YES, I AM.
506
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,038
AND I'M PROUD OF YOU.
507
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,309
YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB TODAY.
508
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,509
- I REALLY JAM DUNKED IT,
DIDN'T I?
509
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,012
- YEAH.
510
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:11,523
YOU REALLY JAM DUNKED IT.
511
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:14,848
- HAS THE MOCK JURY
REACHED ITS POINTLESS VERDICT?
512
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,593
"WE THE JURY FIND GOLDILOCKS
513
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,932
NOT GUILTY."
514
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,757
[cheers and applause]
515
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,238
- NICE JOB, WENDELL.
516
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,995
- OH, YOU SPIT IN YOUR HAND,
DIDN'T YOU?
517
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:39,905
- THANK YOU.
518
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,452
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU.
519
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,246
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, EDDIE.
- IT'S WENDELL.
520
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,923
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
521
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,760
WAIT FOR EDDIE!
522
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,316
- COME ON, VINNIE.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
523
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,334
- COME ON, VINNIE.
524
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,255
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
525
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:57,101
I HAVE RESERVATIONS
FOR DINNER AND DESSERT
526
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,296
AND DESSERT.
527
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,398
- WERE YOU JUST WITH ME
TO GET THE INFORMATION?
528
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,970
- NO.
529
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,868
I AM VERY ATTRACTED TO YOU
530
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:08,480
BECAUSE YOU ARE A MATURE
AND HANDSOME MAN.
531
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,209
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE BUYING THAT.
532
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,553
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
533
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,920
- [shrieks]
534
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,791
DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT.
DON'T DO IT!
535
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,290
OH, GOD, NO.
536
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,562
- HOW ARE YOU STILL READING
THE SHINING?
537
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,930
- OH, I FINISHED THAT YESTERDAY.
538
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,600
OH, GROSS.
539
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,299
- THEN WHAT ARE YOU READING NOW?
540
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,241
- WILMA'S DIARY.
541
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,235
OH, DEAR GOD.
542
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,806
- WAIT TILL YOU
GET TO BIBLE CAMP.
38113
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