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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
2
00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:46,891
FisheR, pick up.
3
00:01:46,926 --> 00:01:49,806
Fisher, it's me
Fisher, pick up.
4
00:01:50,763 --> 00:01:53,363
I'm late, come on, come on.
I need to bounce some ideas off you.
5
00:01:53,517 --> 00:01:55,917
Mine are all boring,
done it, been there.
6
00:01:55,952 --> 00:01:57,361
Hey, Ike!
7
00:01:57,396 --> 00:01:59,796
When are you guys gonna stop
waking me up every morning?
8
00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:02,660
When your column stops
putting me to sleep.
9
00:02:02,695 --> 00:02:04,321
- Funny, funny.
- Yo, Jonah!
10
00:02:05,238 --> 00:02:07,520
Fisher, come on!
Are you really not there?
11
00:02:07,555 --> 00:02:09,499
All right, cool.
I'll talk to you later.
12
00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:11,054
Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing
an article about limousines.
13
00:02:12,537 --> 00:02:14,537
What do you think about people
who've never been in one?
14
00:02:14,572 --> 00:02:16,528
I don't know people like that.
15
00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:20,023
I need someone to bounce some ideas
off of and get the juices flowing.
16
00:02:21,339 --> 00:02:24,419
I got one hour,
27 minutes, 52 seconds.
17
00:02:24,592 --> 00:02:26,954
Hey, Ike! When are you gonna
put me in a column?
18
00:02:26,989 --> 00:02:29,316
- When your T-shirts stop shrinking.
- Shrinks?
19
00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:31,718
- Funny. He's kidding. He's just kidding.
- Oh, forget it.
20
00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:35,441
- Here, give me Give me No way.
21
00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:38,044
Folks, I got nice shirts here.
Look!
22
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,340
"I love everybody. You're next".
23
00:02:57,045 --> 00:02:59,325
So, what's in store for us
in tomorrow's column?
24
00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,345
I don't know yet.
25
00:03:02,926 --> 00:03:05,966
I'm, uh, kind of
a last-minute man.
26
00:03:06,805 --> 00:03:09,125
You know, till an hour or two
before deadline, I don't get any ideas.
27
00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:14,407
So, you get your ideas
for your column from life.
28
00:03:14,442 --> 00:03:16,879
Start up a conversation with a woman
in a bar.
29
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,340
Attack her dart playing
and try to get a rise out of her...
30
00:03:20,153 --> 00:03:22,673
while you contemplate whether
or not she's worth hitting on.
31
00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:25,343
No, I can't hit on you
till I get an idea.
32
00:03:25,378 --> 00:03:27,606
Wh- That's flattering.
33
00:03:27,662 --> 00:03:30,022
No, you don't understand.
34
00:03:30,039 --> 00:03:32,119
I understand. See,
my not responding to you baiting me...
35
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:37,060
will inspire one of those bitter
diatribes you like to write about women.
36
00:03:37,255 --> 00:03:39,895
I don't write bitter diatribes
about women.
37
00:03:39,930 --> 00:03:42,233
- Oh-ho.
- Very often. I could.
38
00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:45,229
Only when the ideas
aren't flowing, huh?
39
00:03:45,389 --> 00:03:48,029
It's so nice to meet you,
one-minute man.
40
00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:51,119
It's last-minute man.
41
00:03:51,154 --> 00:03:52,717
Whatever.
42
00:03:53,064 --> 00:03:55,344
Want to hear something funny? For a
good-looking guy, you strike out a lot.
43
00:03:56,109 --> 00:03:57,709
Have you noticed that?
44
00:03:59,196 --> 00:04:01,916
- I bet it's your ex-wife.
- Excuse me.
45
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,137
I've seen much worse.
46
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,128
No, Ike's not here.
47
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,483
I say, I've seen much worse.
48
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,941
- I'll tell him when he comes in.
- Excuse me?
49
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,137
The brush-off.
50
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,652
I've witnessed far more...
51
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,767
treacherous and nefarious exits
than that.
52
00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:24,413
At least, she castigated you
in private.
53
00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:27,992
Not as private as I thought.
Kevin, you got some napkins there?
54
00:04:29,062 --> 00:04:31,462
- Wiping or writing?
- I'll let you know.
55
00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:34,786
They love you.
They hate you.
56
00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:37,387
They're hot.
They're cold. They're high.
57
00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:39,599
They're up. They're down.
58
00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:43,323
This is fun making a list with you,
but I do have a column to write.
59
00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:44,086
Ike.
60
00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:48,281
But you have yet to find
a really superb idea.
61
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:52,141
There's a girl from my hometown
that you could write about.
62
00:04:52,296 --> 00:04:54,388
Excuse me,
but we don't need any ideas.
63
00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:55,943
She likes to dump grooms at the altar.
They call her the "Runaway Bride. "
64
00:04:59,304 --> 00:05:02,024
She's performed the travesty
seven or eight times.
65
00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:04,478
Turns around, runs like hell.
Bolts. Adios.
66
00:05:05,394 --> 00:05:07,834
Plows down the aisle,
knocking old ladies out of her way...
67
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:09,740
like the Running of the Bulls
in Pamplona.
68
00:05:10,858 --> 00:05:13,618
And guess what!
She's got the next victim all lined up.
69
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:16,218
She's turning another body
on the spit.
70
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,840
Okay, Italics, here we go.
71
00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:26,213
Today is a day
of profound introspection.
72
00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:28,897
I have been accused
of using this column...
73
00:05:29,504 --> 00:05:32,184
to direct bitter diatribes
at the opposite sex.
74
00:05:33,591 --> 00:05:36,031
This uncomfortable accusation...
75
00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:39,488
has plunged me into at least 15 minutes
of serious reflection,
76
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:42,900
from which I have emerged...
77
00:05:42,935 --> 00:05:44,375
with the conclusion that, yes,
I traffic in female stereotypes.
78
00:05:50,568 --> 00:05:54,048
"But how can one blame me when
every time I step out my front door,
79
00:05:54,239 --> 00:05:55,959
"I meet fresh proof that the female
archetypes are alive and well.
80
00:05:58,494 --> 00:06:00,974
"The mother, the virgin,
the whore, the crone.
81
00:06:01,998 --> 00:06:04,438
"They're elbowing you in the subway,
stealing your cabs,
82
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,401
and overwhelming you
with perfume in elevators. "
83
00:06:07,545 --> 00:06:09,763
"But perhaps in fairness
to the fairer sex,
84
00:06:09,798 --> 00:06:13,718
I do need to broaden my horizon and add
some new goddesses to the pantheon. "
85
00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:16,247
"I would like to nominate
for deity the cheerleader, the coed...
86
00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:21,319
and the man-eater, the last
of which concerns me most today. "
87
00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:24,545
"In ancient Greece, this fearsome female
was known as Erinys,
88
00:06:25,106 --> 00:06:27,026
"the devouring death goddess.
89
00:06:27,061 --> 00:06:28,158
"In India, she is Kali,
90
00:06:28,193 --> 00:06:30,659
"who likes to devour
her boyfriend Shiva's entrails...
91
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:33,126
"while her yoni devours
his dot, dot, dot... never mind.
92
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:36,673
In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater
is called Ragma. "
93
00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:41,311
You notice these are
all countries without cable.
94
00:06:42,876 --> 00:06:44,968
"And in Hale, Maryland,
95
00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:47,304
"where she helps run
the family hardware store,
96
00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:51,299
she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter,
a. k.a. the Runaway Bride. "
97
00:06:51,927 --> 00:06:54,327
"What is unusual about
Miss Carpenter...
98
00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:58,924
is that she likes to dress her men up
as grooms before she devours them. "
99
00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:02,338
One antique hot water handle
with the "hot" still on it.
100
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:06,626
Guaranteed to fit
any American standard cast iron tub...
101
00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:11,509
with a four-inch center mount
made between 1924 and 1938.
102
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,792
In other words,
Mr. Paxton.
103
00:07:13,827 --> 00:07:16,547
I think you are out of the doghouse
with Mrs. Paxton.
104
00:07:16,582 --> 00:07:17,170
Hallelujah!
105
00:07:17,205 --> 00:07:18,965
I'll see you later.
I'll put it on your charge.
106
00:07:19,249 --> 00:07:21,649
There's a possibility
she hasn't seen this yet.
107
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:26,010
Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper.
Know what I mean?
108
00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:29,976
- Or not.
- Maggie?
109
00:07:30,011 --> 00:07:32,571
Earl, you don't need an air conditioner.
You need an attic fan.
110
00:07:33,014 --> 00:07:35,534
There's more in the back. Hey.
111
00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:41,572
What?
112
00:07:41,607 --> 00:07:43,727
So, Mag,
you've seen this, huh?
113
00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:46,953
Yes, I've seen it.
114
00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:48,808
And it is the rudest,
115
00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:51,821
most offensive...
116
00:07:51,868 --> 00:07:54,228
joke anyone
has ever played on me!
117
00:07:55,038 --> 00:07:56,638
You guys, how long did this take you?
Where did you get it done?
118
00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,685
You're both creeps, by the way.
I should "disinvite" you.
119
00:08:00,836 --> 00:08:04,596
Maggie, you told us
no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't-
120
00:08:12,182 --> 00:08:14,502
Holy moly.
121
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:19,289
- Bag. Bag!
- She's going. She's gonna go!
122
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,960
Here's the bag. Breathe!
123
00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:46,857
On the local front,
our town of Hale, Maryland,
124
00:08:47,012 --> 00:08:49,532
is still buzzing about
the less-than-flattering article...
125
00:08:49,682 --> 00:08:52,162
about their native daughter,
Maggie Carpenter.
126
00:08:52,351 --> 00:08:54,319
Her bridal exploits were taken
to task...
127
00:08:54,354 --> 00:08:56,874
by New York columnist
Ike Graham in USA Today.
128
00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:59,503
Mr. Graham called her-
129
00:09:00,152 --> 00:09:02,632
Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks.
130
00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:06,826
Perhaps you believe that
a rural education is focused mainly...
131
00:09:06,992 --> 00:09:09,672
on hog calling and tractor maintenance
rather than reading.
132
00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:13,527
Why else would you print a piece
of fiction about me and call it fact?
133
00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:21,211
I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy
thinking up slanderous statements...
134
00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:23,058
about how I dump men for kicks...
135
00:09:23,093 --> 00:09:25,973
to bother with something silly
like accuracy in reporting.
136
00:09:26,138 --> 00:09:28,418
Which is understandable, because
with a man-eater like me on the loose,
137
00:09:29,517 --> 00:09:31,357
who has time to check facts?
138
00:09:31,478 --> 00:09:34,158
- Hey, Frances, lunch today?
- No, I'm going to the bank.
139
00:09:34,193 --> 00:09:36,371
- Sure?
- Sorry, Ike.
140
00:09:36,406 --> 00:09:38,549
- All right. Hey.
- Hey.
141
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,165
I'm going to put in
a good word for you.
142
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,747
Don't mention my name.
143
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,102
That's why I was surprised to find...
144
00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:46,584
Mr. Graham's editor was a woman.
145
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,939
Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped
we man-eaters could stick together.
146
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,977
"Anyway, I'm just dropping
you big-city folk this little note...
147
00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:55,752
"to say that I have thought
of a ritual sacrifice...
148
00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:57,942
"that would satisfy
my current appetite:
149
00:09:57,977 --> 00:10:00,314
"Ike Graham's column
on a platter.
150
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,352
"Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter.
P.S.
151
00:10:02,387 --> 00:10:05,907
"I have enclosed a list of the gross factual
misrepresentations in your article.
152
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,880
There are fifteen. "
153
00:10:09,937 --> 00:10:11,895
Funny. I like her.
154
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:13,531
She's got spunk.
155
00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:17,886
Ike, look. She sent us this list.
Our lawyers say it's actionable.
156
00:10:19,906 --> 00:10:22,332
I left you four messages.
You don't return my calls.
157
00:10:22,367 --> 00:10:25,527
I never returned your calls.
Even when we were married I didn't-
158
00:10:25,704 --> 00:10:27,384
- What's Fisher doing here?
- Ellie asked me to offer moral support.
159
00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:32,863
Since when does Ellie
need moral support?
160
00:10:33,754 --> 00:10:35,914
It's for you, Ike.
161
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:40,727
What? What?
162
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,896
Journalism lesson number one:
163
00:10:42,931 --> 00:10:45,611
If you fabricate your facts,
you get fired.
164
00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:48,048
Lesson number two:
Never work for your former spouse.
165
00:10:49,522 --> 00:10:52,202
That has nothing to do with it. You
cooked this story up, and you know it!
166
00:10:53,902 --> 00:10:56,372
I did not cook anything up.
I had a source.
167
00:10:56,407 --> 00:10:58,843
Someone reliable?
Some boozehound in a bar?.
168
00:10:58,878 --> 00:11:00,082
In vino veritas.
169
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,637
Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys
in bars. It means they're not driving.
170
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,173
Besides, I am a columnist.
171
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,467
This is what columnists
are supposed to do.
172
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,942
It's what you like. We push,
and we stretch, we go out on a limb.
173
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,140
That's what makes me good!
174
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,135
No, that's what
makes you unemployed.
175
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,628
All right, let's consider
that, that my wrist has been slapped.
176
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,210
There. Slap it.
Go ahead, just-
177
00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:30,127
Slap my wrist.
That's done.
178
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,550
Just give me a call when you feel
that I've served my time, and move on.
179
00:11:38,617 --> 00:11:41,337
This is permanent, Ike.
180
00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:45,662
If you go quietly,
I'll get you severance pay.
181
00:11:55,678 --> 00:11:57,638
I'm sorry, Ike.
182
00:12:21,539 --> 00:12:24,339
- Bob? Honey?
- In the kitchen.
183
00:12:24,835 --> 00:12:27,275
Honey, she canned him! Honey?
184
00:12:27,755 --> 00:12:30,275
Bob, she canned him!
185
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:33,102
- Yea! What are you talking about?
- Listen, it's in the paper.
186
00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:35,103
- Try this on first.
- Okay.
187
00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:36,858
I wanna read it to you,
so come over this way.
188
00:12:37,849 --> 00:12:39,983
Ready?
"Dear Maggie Carpenter:
189
00:12:40,018 --> 00:12:42,618
I apologize to you
for this unfortunate matter. "
190
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:44,925
Here it is. " Ike Graham's column will
no longer be appearing in this paper.
191
00:12:48,486 --> 00:12:50,926
Best of luck
in your upcoming marriage. "
192
00:12:51,072 --> 00:12:53,432
Okay, this is the weight of the pack
you'll be carrying in the Himalayas.
193
00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:57,411
- You let me know if it's too heavy.
- Okay.
194
00:12:58,163 --> 00:13:00,723
A little... yeah. Yeah,
a little heavy. baby.
195
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:13,436
Hi, it's me.
Leave a message after the beep.
196
00:13:13,471 --> 00:13:16,071
If you want to leave a fax,
buy me a fax machine.
197
00:13:17,643 --> 00:13:18,984
Ike, Fisher.
198
00:13:19,019 --> 00:13:22,579
Get up. I can turn
this Runaway Bride story around.
199
00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:26,029
I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q.
today by the conveyor belt.
200
00:13:26,653 --> 00:13:29,333
Meet me. I'll save your tush.
201
00:13:29,906 --> 00:13:32,826
And since I do freelance stuff
for G.Q. now, I have an idea.
202
00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,633
- What are you saying?
- Vindication.
203
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,338
How would you like some?
204
00:13:37,373 --> 00:13:39,653
A chance to prove that although
your story wasn't entirely factual,
205
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:42,708
your theory was correct.
206
00:13:43,713 --> 00:13:46,673
- The real story on Miss Carpenter.
- All the gory details.
207
00:13:47,384 --> 00:13:49,434
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
208
00:13:49,469 --> 00:13:52,709
And if she runs again,
you got a cover story.
209
00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,722
Here you go.
Right upstairs to the left.
210
00:14:57,757 --> 00:14:59,528
Thanks. How late's
the restaurant open?
211
00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:03,212
- 8:30 every night.
- That late, huh?
212
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:15,529
Cindy, can you eighty-six Sprout?
213
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,924
He's licking up all the petroleum
distillates I'm trying to put in.
214
00:15:18,609 --> 00:15:20,169
Oh, sorry.
She's an obedience school dropout.
215
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:25,894
Have a seat.
216
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:36,330
Thank you. We'll see you, ladies and
gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend.
217
00:15:46,848 --> 00:15:49,488
You're a goddess.
You're a goddess!
218
00:15:50,394 --> 00:15:53,314
Shazam! I think I'm in Mayberry.
219
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,880
I didn't even have to change a
gasket. just put in new hydraulic fluid.
220
00:15:56,525 --> 00:15:59,165
Stop it. When you talk like that,
it turns me on and frightens me.
221
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,400
Oh, you turn a girl's head.
222
00:16:04,326 --> 00:16:06,726
Excuse me. Hello?
223
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:10,249
Excuse me, could help-
I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter.
224
00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:12,696
There was a note on the door
of the hardware store across the street.
225
00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,429
- Are you a reporter?.
- What?
226
00:16:16,464 --> 00:16:18,515
It's just been
our experience that...
227
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:21,350
anyone who comes in here
with tassels on his loafers...
228
00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:25,205
is a big-city reporter
wanting to do an interview with Maggie.
229
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,192
About her upcoming
wedding and all.
230
00:16:28,227 --> 00:16:29,507
Actually about her getting
that asshole from New York fired.
231
00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:38,042
I am just such a reporter.
And who are you?
232
00:16:38,905 --> 00:16:41,705
Peggy Flemming. Not the ice skater.
233
00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:44,585
Come in, come in.
234
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:47,088
Who are these lovely ladies?
235
00:16:47,123 --> 00:16:49,403
Hi. I'm Cindy.
Maggie's unmarried cousin.
236
00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:52,815
Mrs. Pressman.
No relation. Oh, sorry.
237
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,056
And you are?
238
00:16:56,091 --> 00:16:58,331
Looking... for Maggie.
239
00:16:58,427 --> 00:17:01,107
Maggie, someone to see you.
240
00:17:09,314 --> 00:17:13,714
I hope you've got a new angle because
it's all pretty much been covered.
241
00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:16,384
Hold on. No one interviews Maggie
in here without a haircut.
242
00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:18,479
Sorry, no.
Just got one.
243
00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:20,970
Excuse me, sir, I have a fact for you.
244
00:17:22,411 --> 00:17:24,571
- This is an actual fact.
- Yes, Mrs. Pressman?
245
00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:29,141
This is actually her fourth wedding,
not her seventh like they said.
246
00:17:30,086 --> 00:17:32,805
I know. Tell me something.
Do you think she's...
247
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,400
- gonna make it all the way this time?
- I don't know.
248
00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:42,397
She swallowed her gum.
She does that.
249
00:17:44,102 --> 00:17:47,142
Mr. Schulian, he runs the newsstand.
He's also our local bookie.
250
00:17:47,939 --> 00:17:50,339
He's given eight-to-one odds
that she won't.
251
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:51,784
Okay.
252
00:17:51,819 --> 00:17:54,219
Instead of a haircut,
how 'bout a wash?
253
00:17:54,947 --> 00:17:57,147
Get all that city grit
out of your hair.
254
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,862
You'll answer my questions?
255
00:17:59,897 --> 00:18:00,977
Mm-hmm.
256
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:04,261
Fine! You wash, I'll ask.
257
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,033
So, what do you want to know?
258
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,178
When is the big day?
259
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,733
- A week from Sunday.
- Let's just put this here like this...
260
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,817
...because this aromatherapy
can get a little strong.
261
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,462
The lavender,
we don't want to put you to sleep.
262
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:19,898
You nervous?
263
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,003
I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
264
00:18:23,038 --> 00:18:26,074
Except I've been having
all kinds of weird dreams.
265
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,994
Mm-hmm. Would you like
to tell me about 'em?
266
00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,175
Yeah, sure.
267
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,270
- And another one...
- Pete, I'll be right with ya.
268
00:18:35,305 --> 00:18:38,219
I go inside the church
and everyone I know is there.
269
00:18:38,412 --> 00:18:40,692
The creepiest part is
I look down at my dress, and it's red!
270
00:18:43,042 --> 00:18:46,082
I don't know what that means.
Red is not my color.
271
00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,431
What do you think?
272
00:18:50,466 --> 00:18:52,506
- I think you'd look good in red.
- No, no.
273
00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:57,427
She means about your hair.
274
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:09,541
My jacket, please.
275
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:12,212
Thank you.
276
00:19:12,949 --> 00:19:17,389
Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can
get some shampoo? Strong shampoo?
277
00:19:17,621 --> 00:19:21,341
Doc's pharmacy. Third and Elm.
Tell 'em Pete sent ya.
278
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,468
You want my hat?
279
00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:26,103
No, no, I'm fine.
You might need it.
280
00:19:34,848 --> 00:19:37,808
Mr. Graham, if you're looking
for Elm Street, it's that way.
281
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,446
Thank you.
282
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,561
If you came down here in the pursuit of
happiness, you might as well go back...
283
00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:46,493
because you can't make me feel bad.
284
00:19:46,528 --> 00:19:50,808
I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
I'm here for vindication.
285
00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:53,313
In my heart,
I feel I'm right about you.
286
00:19:54,036 --> 00:19:55,916
Mmm.
287
00:19:55,997 --> 00:19:58,047
You got me fired, lady.
288
00:19:58,082 --> 00:20:01,042
You destroyed my reputation,
and you screwed up my hair.
289
00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:05,594
You chew up men,
spit 'em out, and love it.
290
00:20:06,091 --> 00:20:08,451
You're gonna do the same thing
to this poor schmuck number four...
291
00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:11,526
that you did
to the previous three.
292
00:20:11,931 --> 00:20:14,148
You're gonna run again.
293
00:20:14,183 --> 00:20:16,103
And I'm not leaving until you do.
294
00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:21,270
I'd love to stay and chat,
but I still have my job.
295
00:20:29,033 --> 00:20:31,167
Hey, kid, kid, kid,
wait a minute.
296
00:20:31,202 --> 00:20:33,162
- Give you ten bucks for the hat.
- Sure.
297
00:20:33,197 --> 00:20:35,511
That's right.
298
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:42,070
Sheesh.
299
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,840
I'm telling you,
that is a photo opportunity.
300
00:20:54,394 --> 00:20:57,874
When I only see one dog,
I know I've had too much to drink.
301
00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,793
Hey, you'll never guess...
302
00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:04,038
who came crawling into town
with his tail between his legs.
303
00:21:06,574 --> 00:21:08,541
Who?
304
00:21:08,576 --> 00:21:10,936
Hello, Maggie.
305
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,938
I just came over
to apologize to your family.
306
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,176
When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
307
00:21:17,211 --> 00:21:19,345
I pushed a story.
I made a mistake.
308
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,860
In other words, he's only human.
And he brought us a bottle of wine.
309
00:21:25,303 --> 00:21:29,663
- Made me put my hat back on.
- Yeah. It scared the hell outta Skipper.
310
00:21:31,518 --> 00:21:32,818
You've gotta be kidding me.
311
00:21:32,853 --> 00:21:35,613
No, no. You should've seen Skipper.
He was like-
312
00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:44,541
It wasn't that... funny.
313
00:21:44,699 --> 00:21:46,667
Actually, it's been quite amusing.
314
00:21:46,702 --> 00:21:50,062
Walter, here, has been sharing his
father of the bride wedding memories.
315
00:21:50,748 --> 00:21:53,007
You know what?
316
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:55,762
I think I'll take this to the kitchen.
317
00:21:57,881 --> 00:22:00,841
I'll help you bring it in...
to the kitchen.
318
00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:03,369
- Check on the crabs, Bob.
- Okay.
319
00:22:03,512 --> 00:22:05,992
- Is he staying for dinner?.
- I don't know.
320
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:09,030
I hope they don't have a fight. You
don't think they'd call it off, do you?
321
00:22:10,394 --> 00:22:12,794
Wedding cake freezes. This we know.
322
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:17,079
- You know, your daughter is such-
- Oh, I'm sorry.
323
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,450
No, no, that's all right,
Grandma. That, that's fine.
324
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:22,790
She's such a, a lovely girl.
325
00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:25,385
Yeah. Well,
like her mother. Look.
326
00:22:26,203 --> 00:22:27,683
May she rest in peace.
327
00:22:28,539 --> 00:22:31,219
We were all so proud of Maggie
when she was in school.
328
00:22:31,376 --> 00:22:33,696
She won that American Legion
scholarship to college.
329
00:22:34,838 --> 00:22:36,638
She studied industrial design.
330
00:22:36,673 --> 00:22:37,873
I can't see her leaving multiple grooms
in the dust like that.
331
00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:43,321
Oh, yes, you can.
She's got it all on tape.
332
00:22:45,850 --> 00:22:48,410
- Tape?
- Yeah, they're all right there.
333
00:22:49,854 --> 00:22:51,112
You got tapes of the wedding?
334
00:22:51,147 --> 00:22:53,347
Lee, at the hotel,
videos weddings.
335
00:22:53,984 --> 00:22:56,264
'Course Maggie didn't know she was
gonna be running the 100-yard dash.
336
00:22:57,696 --> 00:23:00,336
- I gotta say, she makes real good time.
- Bingo.
337
00:23:02,159 --> 00:23:03,839
Maggie may not be
Hale's longest running joke,
338
00:23:04,662 --> 00:23:07,062
but she is certainly the fastest.
339
00:23:12,337 --> 00:23:15,777
Maggie's mom and I
were only blessed with one child,
340
00:23:15,966 --> 00:23:17,850
not for a lack of trying.
341
00:23:17,885 --> 00:23:20,685
This is good, Dad.
Don't leave anything out.
342
00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:23,127
I consider it a bonus...
343
00:23:25,644 --> 00:23:29,124
that I'm actually able to plan
and pay for so many weddings.
344
00:23:29,314 --> 00:23:31,714
Not this one.
This one's on me.
345
00:23:32,902 --> 00:23:34,869
Oh! That's fair.
346
00:23:34,904 --> 00:23:36,184
I don't do it on purpose, and
I have no intention of doing it again.
347
00:23:39,617 --> 00:23:42,257
That's right, Maggie.
Just keep your eye on the ball.
348
00:23:43,538 --> 00:23:46,138
Sports psychology.
349
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:50,605
Bob is the head of
the P.E. department at the high school.
350
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:55,230
And he coaches the football team.
And he's climbed Everest.
351
00:23:57,595 --> 00:24:00,355
- Everest? Is it true?
- Twice.
352
00:24:00,515 --> 00:24:02,357
Without oxygen.
353
00:24:02,392 --> 00:24:05,352
- My girl, she likes to brag about me.
- I do.
354
00:24:06,397 --> 00:24:09,117
Maggie's training
for our wedding night.
355
00:24:09,859 --> 00:24:12,499
I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna
for our honeymoon.
356
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,716
- Oh, how romantic!
- We think so.
357
00:24:15,448 --> 00:24:17,128
Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed
with two Sherpas and a yak.
358
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,760
Hey, Ike, how's it going?
359
00:24:27,795 --> 00:24:30,275
You won't believe what
I'm looking at here. I got a video...
360
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,226
of all three train wrecks.
361
00:24:34,261 --> 00:24:36,621
Here's my bride, who's my pride.
362
00:24:37,931 --> 00:24:40,399
I'll never hide
when she's by my side.
363
00:24:40,434 --> 00:24:41,914
This is for you, Maggie,
my "Sugar Magnolia. "
364
00:24:43,896 --> 00:24:46,416
You want the truth?
You want the facts? I got 'em.
365
00:24:52,781 --> 00:24:55,061
I'll send you a copy
of the notes.
366
00:24:55,117 --> 00:24:57,069
Good weekend reading for you.
367
00:24:57,104 --> 00:24:59,022
Love to Ellie. Okay, bye.
368
00:25:33,492 --> 00:25:35,892
Okay, preacher man, let's go!
369
00:25:37,038 --> 00:25:38,838
- Maggie, where're you going?
- Sam!
370
00:25:39,582 --> 00:25:42,342
- Sam. Get back on the bike.
- Okay. How was the wedding?
371
00:25:43,128 --> 00:25:46,088
Shorter than we planned.
Just go.
372
00:25:46,924 --> 00:25:49,564
Okay. Peace, baby.
373
00:26:36,687 --> 00:26:38,967
- Where's she going?
- Look, she's leaving.
374
00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:42,052
- She forgot her purse.
- No, she didn't forget her purse.
375
00:26:44,946 --> 00:26:47,386
Go after her! Do something!
376
00:26:51,161 --> 00:26:53,321
I don't believe this.
377
00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:18,497
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today-
378
00:27:20,234 --> 00:27:24,674
Could we hold the horse, please?
What's wrong with the horse?
379
00:27:24,906 --> 00:27:28,226
The horse seems more jittery
than the bride.
380
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,407
I like the white tuxedo.
381
00:27:57,442 --> 00:27:59,910
Yeah, but he's no good
'cause he's too blond.
382
00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:02,225
All right. Then we just go
with something very traditional.
383
00:28:02,823 --> 00:28:05,183
He's handsome.
Maybe a little too dark for Bob.
384
00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:09,886
Yeah, but he's got
the "Bobster's" eyes.
385
00:28:10,373 --> 00:28:13,693
No, no, no, no. The Bobster's eyes
are closer set. Yeah.
386
00:28:13,877 --> 00:28:16,237
- Hello! Hi.
- Hi.
387
00:28:16,588 --> 00:28:19,028
- Could I have two cups of coffee? And-
- Yes.
388
00:28:19,508 --> 00:28:20,868
Mmm. What is that wonderful smell?
389
00:28:22,052 --> 00:28:23,892
Oh, the cinnamon rolls!
390
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,720
- Could I have two of those? Thank you.
- Yeah, sure.
391
00:28:28,393 --> 00:28:30,953
Okay. Uh, Maggie,
I think this makes the best you.
392
00:28:30,988 --> 00:28:32,087
Okay.
393
00:28:32,397 --> 00:28:35,077
Oh, let's see. Look at that.
394
00:28:37,403 --> 00:28:39,328
Excuse me.
395
00:28:39,363 --> 00:28:41,083
Oh, look at that.
396
00:28:43,534 --> 00:28:45,934
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!
397
00:28:45,954 --> 00:28:49,554
Ow, ow, ow!
Help me! Help me!
398
00:28:51,626 --> 00:28:53,786
Yep, that'd be her.
399
00:28:55,297 --> 00:28:57,657
You must be
that Mr. Graham fella.
400
00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:00,061
Yes, I am! And you are?
401
00:29:00,219 --> 00:29:02,579
- I'm Betty Trout.
- Hi, Betty!
402
00:29:03,139 --> 00:29:04,459
Okay, I guess you'll be
the one making the cake.
403
00:29:05,976 --> 00:29:07,536
Yes I am. Sure.
404
00:29:08,437 --> 00:29:11,957
I'm also told
that you will be throwing-
405
00:29:12,149 --> 00:29:14,789
I'm throwing the luau for Maggie.
406
00:29:14,944 --> 00:29:16,911
Pre-wedding luau!
407
00:29:16,946 --> 00:29:19,306
If you're still in town,
you should stop by.
408
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,392
No, no, he doesn't want to come.
409
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,597
I'd love to come.
410
00:29:23,828 --> 00:29:25,388
I will be there. Thank you.
411
00:29:25,414 --> 00:29:29,334
Is that what you're going to do now?
Follow me around everywhere I go?
412
00:29:30,252 --> 00:29:32,219
No.
413
00:29:32,254 --> 00:29:34,654
I'll be back, Betty.
414
00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:37,121
Bye, Mr. Graham.
415
00:29:37,385 --> 00:29:39,585
- He's not a nice person.
- Well, I know.
416
00:29:40,055 --> 00:29:42,615
That's my pick.
The eyes are perfect.
417
00:29:44,852 --> 00:29:47,452
We always win. We never fail.
418
00:29:47,897 --> 00:29:50,417
We're the Comets, so go to Hale!
Let's go, Comets.
419
00:29:53,903 --> 00:29:56,303
Let's go, Comets. Let's go.
420
00:29:56,656 --> 00:29:58,976
- Hi, Miss Carpenter.
- Hey, Kendall.
421
00:30:00,452 --> 00:30:04,692
Maggie, don't marry Coach.
Marry me. I love you.
422
00:30:05,291 --> 00:30:08,011
You're jailbait, Dennis. Go away.
Go away. Run your laps. Go, go!
423
00:30:10,672 --> 00:30:12,952
Drive, drive, drive! From the hips!
424
00:30:14,509 --> 00:30:16,669
Keep it low now, keep it low!
425
00:30:17,554 --> 00:30:20,314
Good job, gentlemen!
All right, special teams.
426
00:30:20,474 --> 00:30:21,834
Special teams.
427
00:30:22,059 --> 00:30:25,059
- Hey, honey, how are you?
- Good.
428
00:30:26,147 --> 00:30:28,364
What is he up to now?
429
00:30:28,399 --> 00:30:29,919
Ike just dropped by
to check out the team.
430
00:30:31,528 --> 00:30:33,408
And to talk about you!
431
00:30:33,443 --> 00:30:34,793
- Ahh!
- Yes!
432
00:30:34,865 --> 00:30:37,145
You aren't making friends
with this man, are you?
433
00:30:37,180 --> 00:30:39,387
I'm just bragging
about how good you are.
434
00:30:40,913 --> 00:30:43,473
And how I'm the luckiest man alive.
435
00:30:45,501 --> 00:30:47,501
Sweetie.
436
00:30:48,296 --> 00:30:50,776
Well, I better be moving.
437
00:30:50,924 --> 00:30:53,444
Got a lot of work to do today.
438
00:30:53,594 --> 00:30:56,061
- See you two lovebirds later.
- See you at the wedding.
439
00:30:56,096 --> 00:30:58,616
- Yeah. Thanks for the jacket.
- You invited him to the wedding?
440
00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:02,245
Go, go, Comets!
Let's go!
441
00:31:03,855 --> 00:31:06,255
Don't you realize he's writing
another article about me?
442
00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:07,157
Sure.
443
00:31:07,192 --> 00:31:09,192
But you're not runnin'. Come on. Give
me some of that homemade sunshine.
444
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:16,500
Boys, take my princess
for a ride on her chariot.
445
00:31:17,704 --> 00:31:19,704
Oh, my-
446
00:31:25,754 --> 00:31:28,243
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
447
00:31:28,278 --> 00:31:30,733
My last confession was-
Well, anyway.
448
00:31:32,553 --> 00:31:35,393
I have sort of
a technical question.
449
00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:38,516
I've been having bad thoughts.
450
00:31:38,685 --> 00:31:41,285
Really bad thoughts.
451
00:31:41,521 --> 00:31:43,201
- Of an impure nature?
- No, no.
452
00:31:45,234 --> 00:31:50,154
I want to destroy this man's life,
career, everything. I want revenge!
453
00:31:50,782 --> 00:31:53,222
Now, on the sin scale,
how bad is that?
454
00:31:53,910 --> 00:31:55,270
Can I... "Hail, Mary"
my way out of that?
455
00:31:57,414 --> 00:31:59,974
- My child, any sin in one's heart is a-
- The name is Maggie.
456
00:32:00,959 --> 00:32:03,519
It was this side of ten years ago
you had your tongue down my throat.
457
00:32:03,796 --> 00:32:06,436
So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay?
It annoys me.
458
00:32:06,507 --> 00:32:08,349
Maggie, don't get so upset.
459
00:32:08,384 --> 00:32:09,584
Hey, hey! Don't- Brian, talk to me.
I need to talk to you.
460
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,347
Maggie. Maggie. Maggie.
461
00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,733
You're not even Catholic
so you really shouldn't be here.
462
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,168
I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out
about this slimeball reporter.
463
00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,962
And I wanted to come and tell you
that he might stop by here...
464
00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:26,202
and ask you all kinds
of ridiculous questions.
465
00:32:26,237 --> 00:32:28,557
Well, he only actually asked me
one ridiculous question.
466
00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:31,305
The rest weren't so bad.
467
00:32:31,340 --> 00:32:33,787
What? Oh, you talked to him?
468
00:32:34,538 --> 00:32:38,258
Did you tell him
we dated before you were a priest?
469
00:32:38,459 --> 00:32:40,859
Of course.
I think I only did you good.
470
00:32:42,714 --> 00:32:44,889
W- What exactly did he ask?
471
00:32:44,924 --> 00:32:47,604
- Am I too late, Father?.
- No. No.
472
00:32:47,928 --> 00:32:49,208
- It won't take long. Just two venials.
- Okay.
473
00:32:51,223 --> 00:32:52,703
Um, just respectful things.
474
00:32:53,684 --> 00:32:56,284
What kind of music did you like?
What did we have in common?
475
00:32:56,562 --> 00:32:59,482
Did you ruin my life
when you left me at the altar?.
476
00:33:01,442 --> 00:33:03,882
Uh, what did you say?
477
00:33:04,362 --> 00:33:06,872
I said, you know,
how could I be angry...
478
00:33:06,907 --> 00:33:09,547
when this is clearly as God
intended for it to be for me?
479
00:33:12,079 --> 00:33:14,399
Good one. Thanks.
480
00:33:14,999 --> 00:33:18,519
But actually,
it's, it's really, really how I feel.
481
00:33:21,756 --> 00:33:23,676
Of course, God, yes.
482
00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:25,143
Not... God.
483
00:33:26,261 --> 00:33:27,186
Sorry.
484
00:33:27,221 --> 00:33:29,396
I better go.
The man is a lunatic.
485
00:33:29,431 --> 00:33:32,151
But I think I know exactly
where he's going next.
486
00:33:32,186 --> 00:33:34,253
God bless.
487
00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,167
Oh! Purse.
488
00:33:38,024 --> 00:33:39,704
Forgot my purse.
489
00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:43,546
Hi, sorry. Purse.
490
00:33:43,581 --> 00:33:45,289
Good luck.
491
00:33:45,491 --> 00:33:48,291
What was the one ridiculous question
that he asked?
492
00:33:48,452 --> 00:33:51,292
He wanted to know
how you liked your eggs.
493
00:33:51,456 --> 00:33:52,896
Oh, weird.
494
00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,971
Like a person's gonna
remember after all this time.
495
00:33:56,006 --> 00:33:58,234
Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill.
Same as me.
496
00:34:03,761 --> 00:34:06,441
I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian.
497
00:34:07,724 --> 00:34:11,884
Maggie, I'm happy now... here.
It's where I'm supposed to be.
498
00:34:12,103 --> 00:34:15,943
But... if you ever do decide to become
a Catholic, will you do me this favor?.
499
00:34:17,109 --> 00:34:19,509
Confess to Father Patrick.
500
00:34:19,653 --> 00:34:21,933
Of course.
501
00:34:35,546 --> 00:34:38,066
- Gill? Lydia?
- Mags!
502
00:34:38,340 --> 00:34:39,980
Hey, look, the tape. Remember?.
503
00:34:41,344 --> 00:34:43,520
Radio City Music Hall concert...
504
00:34:43,555 --> 00:34:46,515
when Jerry was on "Ripple,"
and I'm going like, "Dude, let me jam. "
505
00:34:46,683 --> 00:34:49,203
- Gill, listen-
- I'll play it for you.
506
00:34:49,269 --> 00:34:51,069
- You remember, Maggie. You were there.
- Can you focus on me?
507
00:34:51,605 --> 00:34:54,325
There's this reporter
who's making my life a living hell.
508
00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:55,825
Okay.
509
00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:58,460
And whatever you do,
510
00:34:58,613 --> 00:35:02,453
do not show him that picture of me
from the concert in San Francisco.
511
00:35:02,659 --> 00:35:03,979
Okay? Can you-
512
00:35:05,662 --> 00:35:08,502
- What is that?
- Uh- Wait. San Francisco?
513
00:35:09,375 --> 00:35:11,801
But we went there a few times.
There's a lot of pictures.
514
00:35:11,836 --> 00:35:14,396
Which picture? Because one time
we had a flat tire. Remember?.
515
00:35:14,547 --> 00:35:15,907
Imagine.
516
00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:17,993
Maggie Carpenter
topless in a public arena.
517
00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:24,580
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
518
00:35:25,184 --> 00:35:27,904
I see it was
a very chilly evening.
519
00:35:34,485 --> 00:35:36,888
What's really interesting
about this, though,
520
00:35:36,923 --> 00:35:39,291
is that you can't see
that rose tattoo...
521
00:35:40,826 --> 00:35:43,026
on your back.
522
00:35:43,746 --> 00:35:46,306
Oh, yeah, Ike bet me 50 bucks
that you don't still have it.
523
00:35:48,543 --> 00:35:51,383
I said, "You're on, man.
Maggie loved that thing. "
524
00:35:51,546 --> 00:35:53,986
And, seriously, I mean,
I could use 50 bucks.
525
00:35:55,634 --> 00:35:57,956
Maggie?
526
00:35:57,991 --> 00:36:00,278
Just-
527
00:36:03,017 --> 00:36:05,401
Look, I'm not gonna show
you guys anything.
528
00:36:05,436 --> 00:36:07,796
I am a soon-to-be-married woman.
So just give me the photograph!
529
00:36:09,941 --> 00:36:12,221
I would love to give you this.
Believe me, I would.
530
00:36:12,256 --> 00:36:14,383
Just give us a quick gander
at that rose,
531
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:17,856
and I'll gladly
turn it over to you.
532
00:36:17,891 --> 00:36:19,894
Fine. Fine. Okay, fine.
533
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:24,519
Okay? All right?
534
00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:27,189
- Satisfied?
- Completely.
535
00:36:27,335 --> 00:36:29,815
- Maggie, you got it removed?
- Gill-
536
00:36:31,924 --> 00:36:35,244
Gill, I'll go you double or nothing
it was a stick-on.
537
00:36:38,639 --> 00:36:40,719
Maggie?
538
00:36:43,228 --> 00:36:45,079
Gill, I am...
539
00:36:45,114 --> 00:36:46,930
really, really...
540
00:36:48,650 --> 00:36:50,993
afraid of needles.
541
00:36:51,028 --> 00:36:52,908
- But that doesn't make me a bad person.
- Look.
542
00:36:53,697 --> 00:36:56,257
Look! Look!
543
00:36:56,784 --> 00:36:59,344
I think this man is heartbroken.
544
00:36:59,495 --> 00:37:01,015
- No, he's not.
- I think I am.
545
00:37:03,166 --> 00:37:04,886
No, you're, you're not!
546
00:37:05,085 --> 00:37:08,205
You have your guitar,
and you have Lydia. You're not-
547
00:37:11,884 --> 00:37:15,164
We'll talk about this later. Okay?
548
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,640
Hey, Ike?
549
00:37:22,813 --> 00:37:25,253
- What would Jerry do?
- He'd play.
550
00:37:25,899 --> 00:37:28,459
- Jerry would play!
- He would play!
551
00:37:41,542 --> 00:37:43,259
Well, there's Ike...
552
00:37:43,294 --> 00:37:45,694
with the mayor
and the police chief.
553
00:37:45,838 --> 00:37:48,438
Boy, he sure makes friends easy.
554
00:37:48,591 --> 00:37:50,831
That's pretty cool.
555
00:37:58,185 --> 00:37:59,665
- Oh, yeah!
- That's right!
556
00:38:05,610 --> 00:38:08,130
- Hey, you're that reporter, right?
- Yeah.
557
00:38:08,165 --> 00:38:10,490
There he is again!
558
00:38:10,525 --> 00:38:12,499
Snoop Doggy Dogg!
559
00:38:12,534 --> 00:38:14,814
- I'm going to marry Maggie someday.
- Oh, really?
560
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,760
He's an attractive man.
561
00:38:19,291 --> 00:38:21,691
The vicious reporter is attractive?
You're saying viciousness is attractive?
562
00:38:23,546 --> 00:38:25,906
No, I am not saying
viciousness is attractive.
563
00:38:29,302 --> 00:38:30,668
He's coming.
564
00:38:30,703 --> 00:38:32,035
I better go-
565
00:38:32,389 --> 00:38:35,149
No, no, no.
Don't leave. Uh, act natural.
566
00:38:35,184 --> 00:38:36,092
- Okay.
- He can probably read lips.
567
00:38:38,145 --> 00:38:41,105
The famous Swenson triplets.
Gimme 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done.
568
00:38:42,066 --> 00:38:45,346
- I will handle this.
- Don't move your lips! Okay? Go on.
569
00:38:45,529 --> 00:38:49,169
I will handle this!
I won't say anything.
570
00:38:49,366 --> 00:38:51,806
- Okay.
- I'll handle it.
571
00:38:53,996 --> 00:38:56,516
Yeah, Cory!
572
00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:59,259
- Hey, Peggy Flemming!
- Hey.
573
00:38:59,294 --> 00:39:01,854
- Not the ice skater.
- That's Maggie's seat.
574
00:39:01,922 --> 00:39:04,922
Yes, and this must be her beer too.
575
00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:07,452
- Hey!
- Hey, sweetie!
576
00:39:08,512 --> 00:39:09,854
That your husband out here?
577
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:12,409
- Yeah.
- This is Cory? Cory Flemming?
578
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,151
He's a radio announcer here,
isn't he?
579
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:17,466
Yeah, that's right. Have you heard his
morning show, "Wake up with Flemm"?
580
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:22,384
Not yet.
581
00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:23,971
Now up, Atlantic Hotel's
Lee Mistlehorne.
582
00:39:26,657 --> 00:39:29,137
He actually made
the all-stars in high school.
583
00:39:29,172 --> 00:39:31,388
Really?
You must be very proud of him.
584
00:39:31,423 --> 00:39:33,379
I didn't really
know him back then.
585
00:39:33,414 --> 00:39:35,854
He was actually dating Maggie...
at the time.
586
00:39:38,086 --> 00:39:40,846
I mean, he never really-
They were never gonna...
587
00:39:42,591 --> 00:39:44,271
get engaged or anything,
It was just like, you know.
588
00:39:45,678 --> 00:39:48,198
Sometimes he'd call her Magpie,
and it was really irritating.
589
00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,913
But- I don't know why
I'm telling you this.
590
00:39:51,977 --> 00:39:54,177
No, this is good.
591
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,160
- He's stealing third!
- Yes!
592
00:39:58,195 --> 00:39:59,380
Safe!
593
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,680
Excellent!
594
00:40:05,408 --> 00:40:06,608
Yes! Yes! Whoo!
595
00:40:09,746 --> 00:40:11,786
Safe!
596
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,520
- I love it!
- Uh-huh!
597
00:40:14,555 --> 00:40:15,931
Yeah!
598
00:40:16,003 --> 00:40:18,363
- Good one!
- Magpie!
599
00:40:21,426 --> 00:40:23,101
Just-
600
00:40:23,136 --> 00:40:25,416
Excellent!
601
00:40:25,889 --> 00:40:28,249
It's nice that
they're... still friends.
602
00:40:32,146 --> 00:40:36,186
Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time
ago. And you know, it's just-
603
00:40:39,821 --> 00:40:42,381
So- Excuse me.
604
00:40:42,532 --> 00:40:44,124
- You all right?
- Yeah.
605
00:40:44,159 --> 00:40:47,519
That makes it Alumni, nine,
Hale students eight.
606
00:40:47,704 --> 00:40:50,264
- Hey, Peggy?
- Hey.
607
00:40:51,709 --> 00:40:55,749
Cookies for today's game
were donated by Betty Trout.
608
00:40:57,632 --> 00:41:00,912
Now up for the Comets,
Jordan Hill.
609
00:41:01,761 --> 00:41:04,481
You have been here,
What, like three minutes?
610
00:41:04,516 --> 00:41:05,272
What did you do to her?.
611
00:41:05,307 --> 00:41:08,627
- You could just turn that finger around.
- Excuse me?
612
00:41:09,645 --> 00:41:11,925
Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory!
Pow, pow, pow, pow. What is this about?
613
00:41:13,566 --> 00:41:15,926
You know what? We have all
been friends our entire lives.
614
00:41:16,569 --> 00:41:19,409
A type of relationship
that you obviously don't understand.
615
00:41:19,573 --> 00:41:22,093
I'm not the only one
who does not understand.
616
00:41:23,827 --> 00:41:26,387
The U.S.S. Maggie
leaves quite a wake.
617
00:41:27,206 --> 00:41:29,566
Excuse me.
618
00:41:33,588 --> 00:41:36,268
Pot-stirrer man.
619
00:41:44,141 --> 00:41:46,821
Cory Flemming
to Lee Mistlehorne to Dr. Ettinger.
620
00:41:46,978 --> 00:41:49,018
Hey. All right.
621
00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:53,659
That's cheering.
I'm cheering normal.
622
00:41:53,819 --> 00:41:56,459
Cheer. Normal.
623
00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,796
- Good morning, Peggy.
- Good morning.
624
00:42:13,006 --> 00:42:15,766
Do you think I flirt with Cory?
625
00:42:17,261 --> 00:42:20,261
Good morning to you too.
You look good.
626
00:42:21,849 --> 00:42:24,089
Thank you.
627
00:42:24,185 --> 00:42:26,225
Do you think I flirt with Cory?
628
00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:30,422
- Yes.
- I don't mean to.
629
00:42:30,609 --> 00:42:34,009
I know. I think sometimes
you just sort of...
630
00:42:34,196 --> 00:42:36,836
spaz out with excess
flirtatious energy
631
00:42:37,658 --> 00:42:39,218
and it just lands
on anything male that moves.
632
00:42:41,287 --> 00:42:43,887
Anything male that moves?
633
00:42:43,957 --> 00:42:46,597
As opposed to anything male
that doesn't?
634
00:42:48,796 --> 00:42:52,396
Well, like certain kinds of coral.
635
00:42:53,968 --> 00:42:55,608
I'm definitely going to have
to kill myself today.
636
00:42:56,095 --> 00:42:56,936
Why?
637
00:42:56,971 --> 00:42:59,731
Because you think I'm all like,
"Hey, man, check me out. "
638
00:43:01,435 --> 00:43:04,115
No, I don't.
I think you're like...
639
00:43:05,981 --> 00:43:09,901
"I'm charming and mysterious
in a way that even I don't understand,
640
00:43:10,111 --> 00:43:12,631
and something about me is crying out
for protection from a big man like you. "
641
00:43:15,992 --> 00:43:17,876
It's very hard to compete with.
642
00:43:17,911 --> 00:43:19,271
Especially as... married women
who've lost our mystery.
643
00:43:22,416 --> 00:43:24,736
Lost- You hav-
You are totally mysterious.
644
00:43:26,003 --> 00:43:28,137
No. I'm weird.
645
00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:29,692
Weird and mysterious
are two very different things.
646
00:43:32,051 --> 00:43:33,571
- I'm weird.
- No, you're quirky.
647
00:43:35,472 --> 00:43:37,952
Quirky and weird
are two very different things.
648
00:43:42,146 --> 00:43:46,346
Peggy, I think there
is a distinct possibility...
649
00:43:46,567 --> 00:43:50,367
that I am profoundly
and irreversibly screwed up.
650
00:43:52,783 --> 00:43:54,863
Despite that,
651
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,760
I love you and I promise...
652
00:43:58,372 --> 00:44:00,652
to no longer flirt with Cory.
653
00:44:01,959 --> 00:44:04,359
Maggie, I'm not worried
about you and Cory,
654
00:44:05,463 --> 00:44:07,347
or me and Cory,
655
00:44:07,382 --> 00:44:10,382
or you being
irreversibly screwed up.
656
00:44:11,803 --> 00:44:14,483
Maggie, you've been like this
since we were kids.
657
00:44:15,140 --> 00:44:19,540
And all I'm thinking is,
now that you're aware of it,
658
00:44:19,771 --> 00:44:22,851
and that it hurts
people's feelings sometimes,
659
00:44:23,024 --> 00:44:27,144
maybe it's time to get on with life,
and commit to someone of your own,
660
00:44:27,362 --> 00:44:30,042
like Bob, if he's the one.
661
00:44:30,908 --> 00:44:33,308
I know.
662
00:44:36,414 --> 00:44:38,694
Is there anything I can do to...
make it up to you?
663
00:44:40,835 --> 00:44:43,355
Well, there's always...
664
00:44:44,172 --> 00:44:46,532
the thing that brings
warmth to my heart,
665
00:44:48,177 --> 00:44:50,436
and that is duckbill platypus.
666
00:44:50,471 --> 00:44:53,151
Duckbill- That is only funny
in like Camp Birchwood on...
667
00:44:54,350 --> 00:44:55,233
Just do it.
668
00:44:55,268 --> 00:44:57,268
a trip with the tent and my leg
as the pole and it's raining.
669
00:44:59,064 --> 00:45:01,344
And you know.
That's the only time that's funny.
670
00:45:01,379 --> 00:45:03,426
Let's just see.
671
00:45:05,279 --> 00:45:07,199
Oh.
672
00:45:18,085 --> 00:45:20,845
It's so humiliating.
673
00:45:21,088 --> 00:45:23,568
Thank you.
674
00:45:24,425 --> 00:45:25,905
Thank you.
675
00:45:39,108 --> 00:45:41,948
Lee. Hey, wake up. Hey.
676
00:45:42,111 --> 00:45:44,245
- Hello?
- Hi.
677
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,720
Gimme the key to the reporter's
room. I wanna snoop around.
678
00:45:46,866 --> 00:45:49,345
- Come on, quick. Wake up.
- Second floor.
679
00:45:49,380 --> 00:45:51,825
- Thank you.
- Don't take anything big.
680
00:45:51,997 --> 00:45:54,557
Okay.
681
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,250
Hopefully his favorite.
682
00:46:24,491 --> 00:46:25,931
My theory is she's running...
683
00:46:26,702 --> 00:46:28,398
because she gets negative attention.
684
00:46:28,433 --> 00:46:30,095
Negative attention is attention.
685
00:46:30,915 --> 00:46:32,315
You know, like when women whack you
on the street because of your column.
686
00:46:34,377 --> 00:46:35,593
That's negative attention.
687
00:46:35,628 --> 00:46:38,108
We're talking about
her negative attention, not mine.
688
00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:50,863
"How does she get all
those guys to propose?
689
00:46:50,898 --> 00:46:53,363
She's not that beautiful. "
690
00:46:53,523 --> 00:46:56,243
Bite me, paper boy.
691
00:47:02,741 --> 00:47:04,249
Hi, Ike.
692
00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:07,204
You put your shoes out at night,
they're real shiny in the morning.
693
00:47:07,371 --> 00:47:11,171
- Sometimes they don't bring 'em back.
- Mmm, why take a chance?
694
00:47:11,376 --> 00:47:13,656
Good night.
695
00:47:27,602 --> 00:47:30,122
All right.
I know you're in there. I saw it.
696
00:47:32,232 --> 00:47:34,792
You realize you're messing
with the First Amendment now.
697
00:47:36,945 --> 00:47:39,385
Come on, open up.
698
00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:40,794
Come on!
699
00:47:41,575 --> 00:47:43,979
We should have
a very serious discussion...
700
00:47:44,014 --> 00:47:46,384
about why you are
such a pain in the ass!
701
00:47:46,419 --> 00:47:47,390
Open the door!
702
00:47:47,707 --> 00:47:49,792
I'm coming in.
I'm coming through.
703
00:47:49,827 --> 00:47:51,878
It's your last chance.
Here I come!
704
00:47:52,004 --> 00:47:54,164
Here I come!
705
00:47:56,300 --> 00:47:57,860
All right.
706
00:47:59,303 --> 00:48:02,823
Breaking and entering. That's a felony.
I'm calling the sheriff.
707
00:48:03,016 --> 00:48:04,858
You know what?
You do that.
708
00:48:04,893 --> 00:48:07,973
Can you remind him that he's
bringing the wine to the luau?
709
00:48:08,146 --> 00:48:10,986
It'll save me a call. Thanks so much.
710
00:48:11,734 --> 00:48:14,214
Hey, Ike, does your friend
have a sister?.
711
00:48:15,196 --> 00:48:17,836
Wait for the original.
She'll be available in a week.
712
00:48:59,411 --> 00:49:02,931
Freeze. Oh, hold on to those covers.
I didn't come to see Ike Junior.
713
00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:07,025
I take it the desk clerk
is one of your many admirers.
714
00:49:09,797 --> 00:49:12,197
So, your notes made for...
interesting reading.
715
00:49:13,927 --> 00:49:15,101
What's your point?
716
00:49:15,136 --> 00:49:17,536
My point is, once again,
you're getting it all wrong.
717
00:49:17,681 --> 00:49:19,655
And that's not gonna improve
your reputation,
718
00:49:19,690 --> 00:49:21,317
and it's not very flattering
to me, either.
719
00:49:21,352 --> 00:49:23,792
So, I decided that I would
help you write the truth.
720
00:49:27,483 --> 00:49:29,883
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
721
00:49:31,613 --> 00:49:35,173
I've decided to cooperate
and let you interview me...
722
00:49:35,951 --> 00:49:38,231
for
723
00:49:39,455 --> 00:49:41,547
I want a big wedding
and a killer dress.
724
00:49:41,582 --> 00:49:44,182
And for a grand, I will answer all your
questions and let you follow me around.
725
00:49:46,796 --> 00:49:49,236
The magazine does not
spend money for stories.
726
00:49:51,009 --> 00:49:53,289
It's not what you would call ethical.
727
00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:54,045
I meant you.
728
00:49:54,346 --> 00:49:57,946
I figured you probably
got severance or expenses or both.
729
00:49:59,685 --> 00:50:02,365
I'm guessing
that you're writing on spec.
730
00:50:03,064 --> 00:50:06,704
And, with a first-person interview,
you might actually sell that thing.
731
00:50:07,361 --> 00:50:09,681
- Too much.
- Seven-fifty.
732
00:50:10,531 --> 00:50:12,931
- Five hundred.
- Six-fifty.
733
00:50:13,659 --> 00:50:15,059
Done.
734
00:50:19,666 --> 00:50:23,706
Is that supposed to be a joke?
I know what you're whistling.
735
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,560
- Hello.
- Hi.
736
00:50:27,216 --> 00:50:30,696
This is a birthday present
for my cousin.
737
00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,506
That's great.
738
00:50:35,975 --> 00:50:40,215
Wonderful stuff. All these found
industrial parts and things.
739
00:50:40,939 --> 00:50:42,882
A lamp tree.
740
00:50:42,917 --> 00:50:44,491
That's great.
741
00:50:44,526 --> 00:50:48,646
- Is this- That's your preferred logo?
- I think so.
742
00:50:48,864 --> 00:50:50,623
It's nice. The whole thing is great.
743
00:50:50,658 --> 00:50:53,258
I think you could sell
these lamps in New York.
744
00:50:53,745 --> 00:50:55,378
Maybe someday.
745
00:50:55,413 --> 00:50:57,773
- You afraid to try?
- No, no. I'm not afraid.
746
00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:00,721
Just... someday.
747
00:51:03,923 --> 00:51:06,283
This is Brian.
748
00:51:06,801 --> 00:51:08,841
Oh, Father Brian.
749
00:51:08,928 --> 00:51:12,768
- And Gill's, of course.
- Gill, yeah.
750
00:51:12,974 --> 00:51:15,254
And... George.
751
00:51:16,353 --> 00:51:19,793
He proposed at a butterfly farm
in Saint Thomas.
752
00:51:19,982 --> 00:51:22,262
The ring was inside a cocoon.
753
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,840
Ahh. A little too
Silence of the Lambs for my taste but-
754
00:51:25,530 --> 00:51:29,170
Well, he's an entomologist.
I thought it was very unique.
755
00:51:29,701 --> 00:51:32,421
And, finally, Bob.
756
00:51:32,579 --> 00:51:35,139
He proposed during
the seventh-inning stretch...
757
00:51:37,084 --> 00:51:39,764
at an Oriole game.
758
00:51:40,212 --> 00:51:42,532
Wait, wait.
Wait, don't tell me.
759
00:51:43,299 --> 00:51:46,619
The scoreboard lit up
with "Marry me Maggie. "
760
00:51:46,803 --> 00:51:49,283
It was one of the most
wonderful moments of my life.
761
00:51:50,599 --> 00:51:52,066
Highly suspect.
762
00:51:52,101 --> 00:51:54,701
What do you mean?
It was incredibly romantic.
763
00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:58,413
Look, maybe it's just me, but...
764
00:51:58,566 --> 00:52:02,286
if you gotta dress it up like that,
it just doesn't ring true.
765
00:52:03,196 --> 00:52:04,596
You know,
I, I think the most...
766
00:52:06,533 --> 00:52:09,253
that anybody
can honestly say is:
767
00:52:09,369 --> 00:52:12,009
"Look, I guarantee there'll be
tough times. I guarantee...
768
00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:18,338
"at some point one or both of us
is gonna want to get out of this thing.
769
00:52:18,963 --> 00:52:22,883
"But I also guarantee that
if I don't ask you to be mine,
770
00:52:23,969 --> 00:52:26,449
"I'll regret it
the rest of my life.
771
00:52:27,598 --> 00:52:30,318
"Because I know, in my heart...
772
00:52:32,478 --> 00:52:35,038
you're the only one for me. "
773
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:40,800
I like it.
774
00:52:41,405 --> 00:52:44,125
I'd like it better
on a scoreboard.
775
00:52:46,994 --> 00:52:50,154
So, is that what you said when
you asked your wife to marry you?
776
00:52:51,624 --> 00:52:54,224
Don't look so surprised. You've got
"divorce" written all over you.
777
00:52:55,754 --> 00:52:58,234
I'm a work-in-progress.
778
00:52:58,757 --> 00:53:00,717
So, is that what
you said to her?.
779
00:53:02,052 --> 00:53:05,012
No, I think I said
something very eloquent like,
780
00:53:05,181 --> 00:53:07,341
"So, um,
781
00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:10,397
"maybe you and I should,
you know-
782
00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:13,122
What do you think? Huh?"
783
00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:17,201
Now, that's romantic.
784
00:53:17,236 --> 00:53:19,996
And with a proposal like that,
you didn't find eternal bliss?
785
00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:24,017
What went wrong?
786
00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,482
I don't know.
787
00:53:25,995 --> 00:53:28,435
- You don't know?
- No.
788
00:53:30,667 --> 00:53:34,667
Maybe you should ask her sometime.
Ever thought of that?
789
00:53:43,181 --> 00:53:45,261
Even with everything
that's happened,
790
00:53:45,296 --> 00:53:46,654
I have still never been married.
791
00:53:46,935 --> 00:53:49,575
And I still deserve
a beautiful dress.
792
00:53:53,776 --> 00:53:55,393
Mrs. Whittenmeyer?.
793
00:53:55,428 --> 00:53:56,661
Where are you going?
794
00:53:56,696 --> 00:53:58,913
- Hi, Polly.
- Hi, Maggie.
795
00:53:58,948 --> 00:54:01,348
You'll have to excuse her. Some of
the children are afraid of you...
796
00:54:01,785 --> 00:54:04,185
since you dragged
that little boy up the aisle.
797
00:54:04,329 --> 00:54:06,296
Drag-No.
I didn't, I did-
798
00:54:06,331 --> 00:54:08,971
He tripped
on his own shoelaces.
799
00:54:09,126 --> 00:54:11,806
You've come for your dress. Good.
It's in the back. I'll get it.
800
00:54:11,962 --> 00:54:14,242
Actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer.
I decided...
801
00:54:16,551 --> 00:54:18,951
that I want to get this dress.
802
00:54:19,262 --> 00:54:21,662
The one you have on hold
is lovely, dear.
803
00:54:23,183 --> 00:54:25,903
I know, but I've just-
I've changed my mind.
804
00:54:26,061 --> 00:54:28,621
This is
805
00:54:29,273 --> 00:54:31,553
And I have
806
00:54:31,984 --> 00:54:34,304
The other one is only dear.
807
00:54:34,988 --> 00:54:37,308
Um- Is that dress for sale?
808
00:54:40,285 --> 00:54:43,685
It's just a lot of money to spend
on one of your dresses, Maggie.
809
00:54:44,373 --> 00:54:46,893
After all, you only wear them
for about ten minutes or so.
810
00:54:53,091 --> 00:54:55,225
Um, yeah, yeah.
811
00:54:55,260 --> 00:54:56,940
I guess that's true.
812
00:55:00,099 --> 00:55:02,059
Uh, the other dress is, is nice.
813
00:55:03,769 --> 00:55:05,820
- Mrs. Whittenheimer?.
- Meyer.
814
00:55:05,855 --> 00:55:08,575
Whittenmeyer. Could I talk
to you just for a second?
815
00:55:09,108 --> 00:55:10,388
Come here. I don't know much
about this kind of thing.
816
00:55:12,237 --> 00:55:14,677
I'm from out of town.
But you're a salesperson, right?
817
00:55:14,781 --> 00:55:17,221
- You're here to sell wedding dresses.
- I've been here 30 years.
818
00:55:18,911 --> 00:55:20,871
Perfect! Because
Miss Carpenter is here to buy one.
819
00:55:22,707 --> 00:55:24,587
Ah. But not just any one.
She wants that one.
820
00:55:25,668 --> 00:55:28,428
- It's Listen, Aunt Bee.
821
00:55:30,382 --> 00:55:32,942
Verbal communication was never perfect
for me. Let's try visual, all right?
822
00:55:37,223 --> 00:55:39,398
We're buying the dress.
823
00:55:39,433 --> 00:55:42,153
Now, we'll have
this nice beautiful dress.
824
00:55:42,186 --> 00:55:44,866
And anything else she wants,
it's hers. Okay? All right?
825
00:55:54,575 --> 00:55:57,135
What do you think?
826
00:56:11,886 --> 00:56:14,446
You look-
827
00:56:22,105 --> 00:56:24,505
You look fine.
828
00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:26,033
Fine.
829
00:56:30,823 --> 00:56:33,183
You're reading your newspaper
upside down.
830
00:56:33,218 --> 00:56:35,229
That's gotta
be better than "fine. "
831
00:56:35,264 --> 00:56:36,273
Yeah.
832
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,256
Come on, now.
Admire me.
833
00:56:39,291 --> 00:56:41,091
Get the whole picture.
Right?
834
00:56:41,585 --> 00:56:43,427
I'm gonna have my hair up
somehow.
835
00:56:43,462 --> 00:56:45,782
I don't know.
Maybe with a little in the back.
836
00:56:45,881 --> 00:56:48,641
And, my favorite feature...
837
00:56:48,801 --> 00:56:52,841
is that it kind of swishes
like a bell, when I move.
838
00:56:54,891 --> 00:56:57,331
Ding. Ding.
839
00:56:57,811 --> 00:57:00,211
Ding. Ding.
840
00:57:02,191 --> 00:57:03,951
It works.
841
00:57:04,026 --> 00:57:06,426
Bob will be very happy.
842
00:57:06,571 --> 00:57:09,611
Oh, Bob! We gotta go.
We gotta go meet Bob.
843
00:57:11,451 --> 00:57:13,731
Oh, jeez, yeah, I'm going to the luau.
I never miss it. The barbershop-
844
00:57:14,872 --> 00:57:17,392
Mrs. Pressman, we're ready
to order here, I think.
845
00:57:18,542 --> 00:57:20,468
I'm all out of the special-
846
00:57:20,503 --> 00:57:23,143
That's all right. I'm gonna have
the garden omelet, egg whites only.
847
00:57:23,923 --> 00:57:26,603
- Okay.
- That sounds good. I'll have the same.
848
00:57:26,638 --> 00:57:27,684
Of course.
849
00:57:27,719 --> 00:57:31,639
What is that? I can't even order eggs
without sarcasm from you?
850
00:57:33,016 --> 00:57:35,616
- You're on the same team now.
- What is that sound?
851
00:57:35,770 --> 00:57:37,486
Have some water.
852
00:57:37,521 --> 00:57:41,001
- Penalty box. Penalty box. Hmm?
- What is it? Fur ball?
853
00:57:41,192 --> 00:57:43,792
Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person
you're ever gonna meet.
854
00:57:44,029 --> 00:57:45,709
But she focuses too much out there.
855
00:57:46,615 --> 00:57:48,255
She needs to start
focusing more in here.
856
00:57:49,117 --> 00:57:51,637
That's why I think
she's had, uh,
857
00:57:52,121 --> 00:57:54,401
whatever you wanna call 'em-
problems in the past.
858
00:57:55,833 --> 00:57:58,153
And that's what
we're working on. Focus.
859
00:57:59,629 --> 00:58:03,029
- Focus. Focus on Maggie. Focus.
- Mm-hmm.
860
00:58:03,216 --> 00:58:05,776
Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob.
861
00:58:06,345 --> 00:58:08,905
I've been runnin' Maggie
through these visualization exercises.
862
00:58:09,056 --> 00:58:11,696
All the sports shrinks
use this head stuff.
863
00:58:11,851 --> 00:58:13,211
Visualize the end zone.
864
00:58:14,938 --> 00:58:17,378
Visualize that hole-in-one.
865
00:58:19,651 --> 00:58:23,131
Tell me. When you get to the altar,
do you spike the bouquet?
866
00:58:23,322 --> 00:58:25,842
- Okay, you know what-
- Well, I'm off.
867
00:58:26,116 --> 00:58:28,636
A reporter's work
is never done.
868
00:58:28,786 --> 00:58:30,906
See you later.
Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you.
869
00:58:30,941 --> 00:58:33,181
I'm gonna go focus
on your eggs, Bob.
870
00:58:36,461 --> 00:58:38,941
I'm glad you're here.
I wanted to try to explain.
871
00:58:39,631 --> 00:58:43,031
There are reasons why there have been
three weddings and no "I do's. "
872
00:58:43,219 --> 00:58:46,019
You can't believe how much cake
we got stuck with.
873
00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:48,980
It's a wonder
I don't weigh 300 pounds!
874
00:58:49,142 --> 00:58:52,182
And then, her father bought
all that booze that nobody drank.
875
00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:53,994
- But he didn't mind that-
- Hi, Grandma.
876
00:58:55,857 --> 00:58:57,116
Hi, Netta.
877
00:58:57,151 --> 00:59:00,871
Grammy here was giving me the skinny
on why you run from marital bliss.
878
00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:03,471
Right. Netta,
cover up your ears.
879
00:59:05,243 --> 00:59:07,883
It's not that she's afraid
of the wedding.
880
00:59:07,918 --> 00:59:09,700
She's afraid of the wedding night!
881
00:59:10,540 --> 00:59:14,020
Innocent girls are terrified
of the one-eyed snake.
882
00:59:16,964 --> 00:59:18,889
Why, when I was a virgin bride,
883
00:59:18,924 --> 00:59:21,444
I took a knitting needle
to bed with me.
884
00:59:23,471 --> 00:59:25,271
Grandma, I charmed...
885
00:59:25,306 --> 00:59:27,786
- the one-eyed snake a while ago.
- Oh, yeah. I forgot.
886
00:59:30,270 --> 00:59:32,710
Well, I tell you one thing. Your
grandpa never forgot that wedding night.
887
00:59:34,733 --> 00:59:37,293
Netta, you can take
your hands down.
888
00:59:37,328 --> 00:59:38,745
- The tea's cold.
- Good.
889
00:59:38,780 --> 00:59:41,580
Could you excuse us for a minute?
May I have a word with you, please?
890
00:59:41,741 --> 00:59:43,261
Oh. Bye, Netta. Bye.
891
00:59:44,744 --> 00:59:46,464
Thanks, Grammy.
892
00:59:50,292 --> 00:59:53,412
I found this, and I didn't know
if it was something interesting.
893
00:59:53,587 --> 00:59:55,547
- My- This is Miles Davis!
- I was cleaning out the attic and-
894
00:59:57,592 --> 01:00:00,032
This is very hard to find
in good condition.
895
01:00:00,178 --> 01:00:03,938
- Hold on to this. This is incredible.
- Why don't you take it?
896
01:00:08,145 --> 01:00:10,465
Take it.
897
01:00:10,523 --> 01:00:12,803
You're figuring out what kind of music
I like, finding me a rare album.
898
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,129
You're not trying
to butter me up, are you?
899
01:00:17,656 --> 01:00:20,142
I was cleaning out the attic,
900
01:00:20,177 --> 01:00:22,628
not attempting the impossible.
901
01:00:24,038 --> 01:00:26,758
I smell trouble.
902
01:00:28,334 --> 01:00:30,814
This is Cory Flemming,
and I'll be featuring the music...
903
01:00:30,962 --> 01:00:33,482
of Denise and Da Nephews,
tomorrow morning on "Wake Up With-"
904
01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,540
What do we got here?
905
01:00:44,060 --> 01:00:45,818
Come on, big guy.
906
01:00:45,853 --> 01:00:47,737
Oh, on our feet.
Here we go.
907
01:00:47,772 --> 01:00:49,948
Let's go, let's go,
big guy. Yeah.
908
01:00:49,983 --> 01:00:53,943
I haven't had any fun
since you got your driver's license.
909
01:00:54,154 --> 01:00:56,714
Let me give you a tip. I haven't
been having a whole lot of fun either.
910
01:00:58,659 --> 01:01:00,739
Steady.
911
01:01:01,287 --> 01:01:04,047
- Good boy, Porthole.
- His name's Skipper, Dad.
912
01:01:04,207 --> 01:01:06,087
- I changed it.
- Ah. Okay, step.
913
01:01:07,585 --> 01:01:09,905
I'll be back later, Travis.
914
01:01:10,672 --> 01:01:13,112
That guy Travis really has a problem.
915
01:01:13,926 --> 01:01:16,526
- I'll get-
- Here we are.
916
01:01:16,561 --> 01:01:18,688
Okay, steady.
917
01:01:18,723 --> 01:01:21,443
You're gonna lean,
I'm gonna push.
918
01:01:21,559 --> 01:01:24,199
Good daughters
let their fathers pass out.
919
01:01:24,354 --> 01:01:26,914
Hey, Walter.
Right down there.
920
01:01:27,399 --> 01:01:29,848
I, I- Please, please
don't write anything-
921
01:01:29,883 --> 01:01:32,298
Forget about it.
Don't even think about it.
922
01:01:44,584 --> 01:01:47,624
I'm just so tired
of this whole scene.
923
01:01:48,130 --> 01:01:51,170
Why don't you just let him
sleep it off here in the truck?
924
01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:54,736
Come for a ride with me,
come back for him later.
925
01:01:58,767 --> 01:02:01,487
Okay.
926
01:02:15,910 --> 01:02:19,390
He's been drinking more and more
since my mom passed away.
927
01:02:19,581 --> 01:02:22,341
That's when you quit school
to come back here?
928
01:02:22,501 --> 01:02:25,701
Yeah, I had to come
run the store for my dad.
929
01:02:26,547 --> 01:02:29,147
My dad had
a small printing business.
930
01:02:31,511 --> 01:02:34,111
He wanted me to become
a classical musician.
931
01:02:34,146 --> 01:02:36,367
My mother wanted me
to be a novelist.
932
01:02:37,643 --> 01:02:40,203
They were 0-for-two.
933
01:02:43,065 --> 01:02:45,199
More?
934
01:02:45,234 --> 01:02:48,954
So, I, uh-
I became a reporter.
935
01:02:51,825 --> 01:02:54,545
Not quite a novelist.
But as we all know,
936
01:02:54,703 --> 01:02:57,823
journalism is literature
in a hurry.
937
01:03:10,762 --> 01:03:12,730
What? What is this?
938
01:03:12,765 --> 01:03:15,266
What kind of gas did you put
in here? Diesel?
939
01:03:15,301 --> 01:03:17,768
I don't know.
The pump the closest to the car.
940
01:03:22,525 --> 01:03:25,765
This car takes unleaded.
Your filter is clogged.
941
01:03:25,946 --> 01:03:27,371
Can you fix it?
942
01:03:27,406 --> 01:03:30,046
- I'm gonna need to get some tools.
- Oh, good.
943
01:03:30,909 --> 01:03:33,549
Kind of isolated here.
944
01:03:33,584 --> 01:03:35,487
Yeah, it's nice.
945
01:03:37,834 --> 01:03:40,434
Well, if there's one thing
us New Yorkers know how to do,
946
01:03:40,469 --> 01:03:42,610
that's hail a cab.
947
01:03:42,756 --> 01:03:45,156
If there's no cab, we walk.
948
01:03:45,300 --> 01:03:46,580
Uh, well, if we saved
the battery here,
949
01:03:48,637 --> 01:03:50,037
there's a place just down the way.
950
01:03:51,933 --> 01:03:54,493
We country girls cut across the field.
It's quicker.
951
01:04:00,734 --> 01:04:02,814
Oh, be careful of snakes.
952
01:04:04,697 --> 01:04:07,177
- What?
- Snakes.
953
01:04:07,742 --> 01:04:08,874
I don't like snakes.
954
01:04:08,909 --> 01:04:11,469
Walk nice.
They won't get ya.
955
01:04:14,374 --> 01:04:16,374
Come on, come on, come on!
956
01:04:16,751 --> 01:04:20,351
What are you-
What are you doing? Snake dance?
957
01:04:20,547 --> 01:04:23,107
I'm scaring the snakes.
958
01:04:23,300 --> 01:04:24,580
- You're scaring me.
- I'm scaring myself.
959
01:04:30,350 --> 01:04:33,830
Do you think there's
one right person for everybody?
960
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,280
No, but I think attraction...
961
01:04:36,315 --> 01:04:39,435
is too often mistaken
for rightness.
962
01:04:40,945 --> 01:04:43,585
Attraction is very misleading.
963
01:04:45,324 --> 01:04:46,666
- Yes, it is.
- Yeah.
964
01:04:46,701 --> 01:04:47,876
- And it doesn't mean anything.
- No.
965
01:04:47,911 --> 01:04:50,271
No, no.
It doesn't mean anything. It means-
966
01:05:01,926 --> 01:05:04,126
I, uh,
967
01:05:04,637 --> 01:05:06,677
suddenly forgot
how to climb a fence.
968
01:05:11,061 --> 01:05:13,461
- Tools.
- Tools. Yeah.
969
01:05:21,739 --> 01:05:24,979
- Lionel? Do you have tools?
- Hey, Maggie!
970
01:05:26,495 --> 01:05:29,735
What are you gonna do?
Bust out of another wedding?
971
01:05:31,125 --> 01:05:34,005
Sure are well-known 'round here.
972
01:05:35,505 --> 01:05:37,513
No, Fish, it's almost done. I swear.
973
01:05:37,548 --> 01:05:39,933
This story's taken
a very interesting turn.
974
01:05:39,968 --> 01:05:43,368
I've got one more interview
to do up in New York. I'll see you later.
975
01:05:52,607 --> 01:05:55,687
You could've told me that
you were fianc, number three.
976
01:05:55,860 --> 01:05:57,869
And end up in the papers?
977
01:05:57,904 --> 01:06:01,264
I've been humiliated enough already
to last a lifetime. Thank you.
978
01:06:01,909 --> 01:06:03,625
I was traveling around,
979
01:06:03,660 --> 01:06:06,060
studying the reproductive
and migratory patterns of locusts...
980
01:06:07,957 --> 01:06:09,924
when Maggie met me.
981
01:06:09,959 --> 01:06:12,359
Tell me, George.
Why do you think she ran?
982
01:06:13,338 --> 01:06:15,818
Just like you said.
What did you call her?. A man-eater?.
983
01:06:16,633 --> 01:06:19,913
A devouring death goddess.
All right?
984
01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:22,855
That's what I said.
But I don't think that's why she ran.
985
01:06:23,015 --> 01:06:24,398
Oh, why do you think she ran?
986
01:06:24,433 --> 01:06:27,033
I don't know. I am working on it.
I was on the wrong track.
987
01:06:27,186 --> 01:06:29,146
- Are you defending her?.
- No, no.
988
01:06:30,607 --> 01:06:34,687
I call it like I see it.
I'm a journalist. I'm a truth teller.
989
01:06:34,903 --> 01:06:37,079
- Unbelievable.
- What?
990
01:06:37,114 --> 01:06:39,714
She got to you, too.
like a moth to a flame.
991
01:06:39,867 --> 01:06:42,001
- Please!
- Join the club.
992
01:06:42,036 --> 01:06:43,476
- What are you talking about?
- You need this much more than I do.
993
01:06:44,956 --> 01:06:47,276
I am a journalist. I'm doing an article.
Look. See? I'm being paid.
994
01:06:49,294 --> 01:06:54,254
This will be published. A cover story.
You'll get all the facts, in the article.
995
01:06:54,508 --> 01:06:57,148
Do you know what kind
of eggs she liked?
996
01:06:58,387 --> 01:07:01,307
Poached, same as me.
997
01:07:10,275 --> 01:07:13,075
An overpriced apartment
and Chinese take-out.
998
01:07:13,237 --> 01:07:14,829
That's New York living.
999
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:17,424
Fisher, don't forget
the fortune cookies.
1000
01:07:17,575 --> 01:07:21,015
I already read the fortune.
You don't wanna know.
1001
01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:23,964
He makes me crazy.
1002
01:07:24,750 --> 01:07:27,550
Hostility is a very important part
of your foreplay, isn't it?
1003
01:07:27,711 --> 01:07:30,191
It takes three people
to make our marriage work:
1004
01:07:30,339 --> 01:07:32,739
him, me and our therapist.
1005
01:07:38,181 --> 01:07:41,061
Ellie, what went wrong?
1006
01:07:41,226 --> 01:07:43,026
With us,
with the two of us, I mean.
1007
01:07:44,313 --> 01:07:48,513
I know It's been a long time.
Do you remember?.
1008
01:07:49,777 --> 01:07:53,337
Yeah. Do I remember?.
Of course I do.
1009
01:07:55,533 --> 01:07:58,693
Is that what-
Did I do the same-
1010
01:07:58,870 --> 01:08:02,830
Is that what happened?
Did I just... not see you?
1011
01:08:05,336 --> 01:08:08,336
No. No, you didn't.
1012
01:08:15,514 --> 01:08:17,564
I'm sorry.
1013
01:08:17,599 --> 01:08:19,039
I'm sorry, Ellie.
1014
01:08:20,144 --> 01:08:22,824
I'm sorry too, Ike.
1015
01:08:24,315 --> 01:08:27,835
Wow, that only took us
12 years to say.
1016
01:08:29,362 --> 01:08:31,722
Hey, I saw that, you cad.
1017
01:08:31,948 --> 01:08:34,388
You asked for it, you got it.
Here you go.
1018
01:08:34,993 --> 01:08:36,313
My dear.
1019
01:08:36,537 --> 01:08:39,057
Get your fortune.
Let me see what-
1020
01:08:39,290 --> 01:08:43,610
"Confucius say, man who leave wife alone
with ex-husband may leave altogether. "
1021
01:08:45,922 --> 01:08:48,762
- Lights and everything.
- I hope it's better than last year.
1022
01:08:48,925 --> 01:08:51,165
Or the last ten years.
1023
01:09:03,942 --> 01:09:07,662
Let's have a hand for
our fabulous hula dancers!
1024
01:09:07,863 --> 01:09:10,503
There they are.
King and Queen.
1025
01:09:16,164 --> 01:09:20,524
Walter, I'm thinking about
going back to my maiden name.
1026
01:09:21,086 --> 01:09:23,246
Can you still remember it?
1027
01:09:23,797 --> 01:09:26,237
What? It's nice, you know.
1028
01:09:26,675 --> 01:09:29,755
It's just I haven't seen him
in 24 hours and I would...
1029
01:09:31,931 --> 01:09:34,651
feel better if I knew
where he was. You see?
1030
01:09:40,190 --> 01:09:42,324
Welcome to our annual luau.
1031
01:09:42,359 --> 01:09:44,239
- What can I get you?
- Aloha, Mister Trout.
1032
01:09:45,613 --> 01:09:48,253
Uh, you got something
without a toy in it?
1033
01:09:52,328 --> 01:09:55,168
- Get down, Sprout.
- The next three.
1034
01:09:55,832 --> 01:09:57,912
Yeah.
1035
01:09:58,669 --> 01:10:01,029
Oh, I'm hearing it here.
1036
01:10:05,134 --> 01:10:07,414
Aloha!
1037
01:10:08,846 --> 01:10:11,766
It's a very fetching headdress
you're wearing.
1038
01:10:15,562 --> 01:10:17,962
Where did-
Where did you disappear to?
1039
01:10:19,608 --> 01:10:22,088
Missed me bad, huh?
1040
01:10:23,738 --> 01:10:25,178
And we have a winner right here!
1041
01:10:27,116 --> 01:10:28,756
Yeah! All right, Bob!
1042
01:10:30,328 --> 01:10:31,608
Well, it's chow time
here on the islands,
1043
01:10:33,832 --> 01:10:38,112
and we Trouts have prepared
our traditional feast, ShrimpTrout.
1044
01:10:38,337 --> 01:10:40,703
So, let's all meet over at the tables.
1045
01:10:40,738 --> 01:10:43,070
You're not allergic
to shrimp, are you?
1046
01:10:43,105 --> 01:10:45,192
- Mmm, no.
- Pity.
1047
01:10:51,810 --> 01:10:54,410
Attention!
Pay attention to Walter.
1048
01:10:55,231 --> 01:10:57,751
Listen closely. He slurs.
1049
01:10:59,527 --> 01:11:01,286
In the tradition...
1050
01:11:01,321 --> 01:11:04,001
that has grown over the years,
it is now toast time.
1051
01:11:04,908 --> 01:11:06,708
First up, our host,
1052
01:11:06,743 --> 01:11:09,223
Lou "A Honey of a Beekeeper" Trout.
1053
01:11:14,418 --> 01:11:16,938
May the groom's heart
be filled with hope...
1054
01:11:17,088 --> 01:11:19,608
and the bride's feet
filled with lead.
1055
01:11:23,261 --> 01:11:26,901
May the pitter-patter of little feet
not be Maggie's.
1056
01:11:31,854 --> 01:11:35,534
- May the gifts be returnable.
- I took mine back.
1057
01:11:37,193 --> 01:11:39,393
You know the old saying.
"You're not losing a daughter"?
1058
01:11:40,989 --> 01:11:43,149
Well, I'd like to.
1059
01:11:45,452 --> 01:11:48,452
Maggie may not be
Hale's longest running joke,
1060
01:11:48,623 --> 01:11:51,023
but she is certainly the fastest.
1061
01:11:54,504 --> 01:11:57,144
Good one, Dad.
1062
01:11:58,342 --> 01:12:00,862
Walter, maybe Mr. Graham
will say something.
1063
01:12:01,136 --> 01:12:03,616
Ah, here we are. Would you like
to say something, Mr. Graham?
1064
01:12:03,651 --> 01:12:05,667
Yeah, just a minute.
I don't know yet. You okay?
1065
01:12:07,643 --> 01:12:09,963
Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie
live. It's more fun than print.
1066
01:12:12,983 --> 01:12:14,366
Excuse me?
1067
01:12:14,401 --> 01:12:16,721
It's a joke.
They're kidding.
1068
01:12:17,029 --> 01:12:19,589
Yeah, come on. Let's go.
1069
01:12:21,742 --> 01:12:24,662
All right. We'll have a toast!
1070
01:12:26,414 --> 01:12:29,654
To Maggie's family and friends.
1071
01:12:30,710 --> 01:12:33,190
May you find yourselves...
1072
01:12:33,338 --> 01:12:36,138
the bull's-eye of an easy target.
1073
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:42,680
May you be publicly flogged
for all of your bad choices,
1074
01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:47,890
and may your noses be rubbed
in all of your mistakes.
1075
01:12:53,110 --> 01:12:56,110
Well, that was funny,
but enough toasting. Let's hula!
1076
01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:59,560
Everybody!
Let's get up and start the band!
1077
01:13:00,660 --> 01:13:04,100
We're gonna make a line
right down here.
1078
01:13:04,623 --> 01:13:07,223
Maggie. Maggie?
1079
01:13:07,376 --> 01:13:09,896
Lou, where are those hula dancers?
1080
01:13:09,931 --> 01:13:12,268
Here. She might need this.
1081
01:13:13,049 --> 01:13:13,931
Where'd Maggie go to?
1082
01:13:13,966 --> 01:13:16,636
She went to get me something
from her car.
1083
01:13:16,671 --> 01:13:19,307
- Maybe she needs help.
- B-B-B-Bob. Okay.
1084
01:13:19,472 --> 01:13:21,632
The guard, who threw the block?
Forrest Gregg.
1085
01:13:21,725 --> 01:13:23,483
No, Elijah Pitts.
1086
01:13:23,518 --> 01:13:25,518
- He's a running back.
- The Fridge. Refrigerator Perry?
1087
01:13:27,022 --> 01:13:29,182
Maggie?
1088
01:13:29,483 --> 01:13:32,243
Hey. Here's a coat.
1089
01:13:33,029 --> 01:13:36,189
- Put this coat on. It's cold.
- Don't pretend to be a nice person.
1090
01:13:36,366 --> 01:13:39,086
I was the only person
in there defending you.
1091
01:13:39,121 --> 01:13:40,467
You humiliated me!
1092
01:13:40,537 --> 01:13:42,897
No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating
you is what everyone else did in there.
1093
01:13:45,376 --> 01:13:46,976
- That is the theme of the party tonight.
- No. It was under control.
1094
01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:51,055
Now they all feel sorry for me!
1095
01:13:51,090 --> 01:13:53,610
They should. They're about
to see you hang yourself again.
1096
01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:54,976
What do you keep-
1097
01:13:55,011 --> 01:13:58,331
Tell me something.
Do you really care about Mount Everest?
1098
01:13:58,515 --> 01:14:00,915
It's fun. It's high.
1099
01:14:02,144 --> 01:14:04,464
Sexual practices of locusts?
1100
01:14:04,522 --> 01:14:07,162
Every one of those times
I was being supportive.
1101
01:14:08,985 --> 01:14:11,345
Not supportive.
You weren't being supportive!
1102
01:14:12,447 --> 01:14:13,727
You were scared!
You were scared then, you're scared now!
1103
01:14:17,828 --> 01:14:19,503
You are the most lost woman-
1104
01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:21,658
- Lost?!
- Yes, lost. You are so-
1105
01:14:22,291 --> 01:14:25,691
You are so lost, you don't even know
what kind of eggs you like.
1106
01:14:27,005 --> 01:14:29,473
- Yes. Yes!
- What?
1107
01:14:29,508 --> 01:14:32,148
That's right. With the priest,
you wanted scrambled.
1108
01:14:32,219 --> 01:14:33,459
With the Dead Head,
it was fried.
1109
01:14:33,929 --> 01:14:35,689
With the bug guy,
it was poached.
1110
01:14:36,599 --> 01:14:37,959
Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only.
Thank you very much. "
1111
01:14:40,603 --> 01:14:42,363
That is called
changing your mind.
1112
01:14:43,523 --> 01:14:46,203
No, that's called
not having a mind of your own.
1113
01:14:46,238 --> 01:14:48,243
Maggie, what are you doing?!
1114
01:14:48,278 --> 01:14:50,678
You really want that guy up there
to drag you...
1115
01:14:50,713 --> 01:14:53,605
up Annapurna for your honeymoon?
1116
01:14:53,784 --> 01:14:56,344
You do not want to climb
Annapurna!
1117
01:14:56,496 --> 01:14:58,176
Yes, I do!
1118
01:15:03,295 --> 01:15:05,135
No, you don't.
1119
01:15:06,131 --> 01:15:08,611
You want a man who'll
lead you down the beach...
1120
01:15:10,970 --> 01:15:13,312
with his hand over your eyes...
1121
01:15:13,347 --> 01:15:16,827
just so you can discover
the feel of the sand under your feet.
1122
01:15:18,186 --> 01:15:22,066
You want a guy that'll
wake you up at dawn.
1123
01:15:23,775 --> 01:15:27,775
He's just bursting to talk to you.
Can't wait another minute...
1124
01:15:27,988 --> 01:15:31,028
just to find out
what you'll say.
1125
01:15:34,996 --> 01:15:37,716
Am I right?
1126
01:15:42,421 --> 01:15:44,661
Stop it.
1127
01:15:46,467 --> 01:15:49,587
I am getting married on Sunday.
1128
01:15:50,722 --> 01:15:55,002
And you are just trying
to make me run.
1129
01:15:55,227 --> 01:15:58,347
Because you're
a cynical, exploitive,
1130
01:16:00,065 --> 01:16:02,585
mean-hearted creep...
1131
01:16:02,943 --> 01:16:05,463
who wouldn't know real love
if it bit him in the armpit.
1132
01:16:06,406 --> 01:16:08,766
All you do is...
is tear others down,
1133
01:16:10,869 --> 01:16:13,349
and laugh at them
and criticize what they do...
1134
01:16:14,414 --> 01:16:16,854
because you're too afraid
to do anything yourself.
1135
01:16:19,545 --> 01:16:22,385
I read your columns.
1136
01:16:22,548 --> 01:16:26,588
You never once wrote
anything about yourself.
1137
01:16:29,097 --> 01:16:32,257
I am not the only one
that is lost.
1138
01:16:34,228 --> 01:16:36,348
And you know it.
1139
01:16:38,357 --> 01:16:40,757
Am I right?
1140
01:16:43,321 --> 01:16:45,921
Am I right?
1141
01:16:50,579 --> 01:16:51,921
Mag?
1142
01:16:51,956 --> 01:16:53,596
Hey! Help me out here.
1143
01:16:54,417 --> 01:16:56,937
Green Bay right guard.
1144
01:16:57,086 --> 01:16:59,326
Uh, you know,
Bart Starr, uh-
1145
01:17:01,883 --> 01:17:04,603
- You okay?
- Yes.
1146
01:17:09,558 --> 01:17:12,718
- I'll take you inside. Okay?
- Uh-huh.
1147
01:17:12,895 --> 01:17:15,455
Okay.
1148
01:17:17,192 --> 01:17:18,575
Jerry Kramer.
1149
01:17:18,610 --> 01:17:21,210
Jerry Kramer!
I started on the Ice Bowl story.
1150
01:17:29,038 --> 01:17:30,505
Hey, Grandma.
1151
01:17:30,540 --> 01:17:33,300
- What's for lunch?
- Turkey and cheese.
1152
01:17:33,335 --> 01:17:34,926
Honey, your grandmother and I...
1153
01:17:34,961 --> 01:17:38,201
are thinking about having
a wedding gift museum.
1154
01:17:39,216 --> 01:17:41,976
- Stop.
- What?
1155
01:17:42,219 --> 01:17:45,299
Stop. Don't say
another word like that.
1156
01:17:45,473 --> 01:17:46,993
- Maggie, it was just a joke.
- No!
1157
01:17:47,225 --> 01:17:50,505
It's humiliating,
and it's gone on long enough.
1158
01:17:51,229 --> 01:17:55,109
You may not like that
you have a daughter with problems.
1159
01:17:55,317 --> 01:17:57,717
But guess what?
1160
01:17:58,278 --> 01:18:00,878
I don't like that I have a father
who's drunk all the time.
1161
01:18:04,202 --> 01:18:06,522
I'll eat in my room.
1162
01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:13,460
Tell me why Maggie's
having another rehearsal,
1163
01:18:13,629 --> 01:18:15,389
and two days before the wedding.
1164
01:18:15,424 --> 01:18:16,639
She's already done this.
1165
01:18:16,674 --> 01:18:19,194
Well, Bob insisted
she visualize the ceremony.
1166
01:18:19,969 --> 01:18:22,009
Okay, we're ready.
You want me to have Ike leave now?
1167
01:18:24,265 --> 01:18:27,465
Actually,
let's make Ike the pastor.
1168
01:18:27,644 --> 01:18:29,111
Uh, I'd rather not.
1169
01:18:29,146 --> 01:18:31,626
No, it'll give you a great view.
I think it's perfect.
1170
01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,094
- Hey.
- Okay.
1171
01:18:34,860 --> 01:18:36,540
Team effort, Pastor Ike.
1172
01:18:38,448 --> 01:18:40,848
- He's gonna be the pastor?.
- Yes. Yes.
1173
01:18:40,992 --> 01:18:45,352
Because I want him front and center
so he can just see everything.
1174
01:18:46,373 --> 01:18:49,133
- Right up there. That's it.
- Okay.
1175
01:18:49,168 --> 01:18:50,791
- Cindy, foyer.
- Okay.
1176
01:18:55,508 --> 01:18:57,141
Ready?
1177
01:18:57,176 --> 01:18:59,536
What happened at the luau?
1178
01:19:00,096 --> 01:19:03,656
I- I don't- I don't wanna
talk about the luau, okay?
1179
01:19:05,561 --> 01:19:08,641
- What is this?
- It's for the bell.
1180
01:19:08,814 --> 01:19:11,073
- Bob's in a hurry.
- Oh.
1181
01:19:11,108 --> 01:19:12,548
- Girls!
- Okay, Maggie, remember what Bob said.
1182
01:19:14,779 --> 01:19:17,219
Let us visualize. Be the ball.
Sink the putt.
1183
01:19:17,254 --> 01:19:19,000
- Make the shot.
- Nothing but net.
1184
01:19:19,035 --> 01:19:20,747
- Never say die.
- Move your butts.
1185
01:19:21,578 --> 01:19:24,218
- Girls, where are you?
- On our way, Coach.
1186
01:19:28,419 --> 01:19:31,059
The bell. Ooh.
1187
01:19:44,770 --> 01:19:46,237
What's she doing?
1188
01:19:46,272 --> 01:19:48,912
She's being the bell
instead of the ball.
1189
01:19:50,902 --> 01:19:53,902
Sanctuary. Sanctuary.
1190
01:19:55,574 --> 01:19:58,214
Mags, you okay?
1191
01:20:01,831 --> 01:20:04,511
Anyway-
1192
01:20:23,521 --> 01:20:26,161
At this pace,
this could become an evening wedding.
1193
01:20:26,775 --> 01:20:29,415
Okay, okay.
You know something? It's great.
1194
01:20:29,736 --> 01:20:33,536
I think we're taking this a little
too fast. You're tensing. You feel it?
1195
01:20:34,575 --> 01:20:35,249
Right?
1196
01:20:35,284 --> 01:20:38,684
We just need to limber you up
for a second. Ike, come here.
1197
01:20:39,664 --> 01:20:42,704
You're me. Stand here so
she knows how far she's gotta come.
1198
01:20:42,876 --> 01:20:44,836
Honey, I'm gonna walk
with you. Okay?
1199
01:20:46,171 --> 01:20:49,131
Now he's the groom?
1200
01:20:49,300 --> 01:20:51,940
Just relax.
Limber, visualize.
1201
01:20:51,975 --> 01:20:54,077
Visualize.
Relax. Limber.
1202
01:21:00,937 --> 01:21:04,417
You are the football,
spiraling through the air...
1203
01:21:05,025 --> 01:21:07,465
into the waiting hands of the groom.
1204
01:21:07,611 --> 01:21:08,811
I'm spiraling
through the air.
1205
01:21:11,199 --> 01:21:12,883
Right.
1206
01:21:12,918 --> 01:21:14,567
I am...
1207
01:21:15,996 --> 01:21:18,396
streaking...
1208
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:21,300
toward the... goal line.
1209
01:21:28,885 --> 01:21:31,725
Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact.
1210
01:21:31,888 --> 01:21:33,488
And I land on the goal line.
1211
01:21:33,932 --> 01:21:36,233
Good. Good.
1212
01:21:36,268 --> 01:21:38,988
Okay, I'm the pastor
and I say, "Dearly beloved,
1213
01:21:39,688 --> 01:21:41,707
"we're gathered here,
blah, blah, blah, blah,
1214
01:21:41,742 --> 01:21:43,727
"so on and so forth,
rat-a-tat-tat, yabba-dabba.
1215
01:21:44,026 --> 01:21:46,452
I now pronounce you man and wife. "
1216
01:21:46,487 --> 01:21:49,129
Kiss the bride.
We have the organ crescendo.
1217
01:21:49,164 --> 01:21:51,771
That just leads us
right on down the aisle.
1218
01:21:51,952 --> 01:21:54,632
And we are man and-
1219
01:22:10,555 --> 01:22:12,875
No!
1220
01:22:13,058 --> 01:22:15,528
Maggie?
1221
01:22:15,563 --> 01:22:17,999
Uh, Mag-
1222
01:22:22,861 --> 01:22:24,619
Okay, okay, okay.
1223
01:22:24,654 --> 01:22:27,894
So if you were imagining me,
y- you did great.
1224
01:22:28,075 --> 01:22:29,541
What the hell were you doing?
1225
01:22:29,576 --> 01:22:32,296
Bob, I'm really sorry.
She... kissed me back.
1226
01:22:33,748 --> 01:22:36,348
- I kissed you back?
- Yes, you did. You kissed me back.
1227
01:22:36,383 --> 01:22:38,363
Yeah, caught that.
1228
01:22:38,503 --> 01:22:41,423
You wanna tell me how long
this has been going on?
1229
01:22:41,589 --> 01:22:45,109
- About a minute.
- Longer for me.
1230
01:22:45,636 --> 01:22:47,394
Really?
1231
01:22:47,429 --> 01:22:50,229
What do you expect me
to say to this?
1232
01:22:50,391 --> 01:22:52,831
- Hello.
- Well, Bob, you could say,
1233
01:22:53,728 --> 01:22:56,528
"Well, I hope you two
will be really happy together. "
1234
01:22:59,276 --> 01:23:02,276
I hope you two will be
really happy together.
1235
01:23:04,865 --> 01:23:06,785
Uh, take care of him.
1236
01:23:07,243 --> 01:23:10,003
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1237
01:23:12,957 --> 01:23:15,597
Bob! Bob!
1238
01:23:16,378 --> 01:23:18,898
Bob, I'm sorry. I-I'm-
1239
01:23:19,381 --> 01:23:23,181
At least this time I backed out
before the wedding. That's progress.
1240
01:23:23,969 --> 01:23:25,603
You are gonna find some woman...
1241
01:23:25,638 --> 01:23:29,038
who can make you so much happier
than I ever could.
1242
01:23:29,559 --> 01:23:32,439
- Look out.
- Ooh! See?
1243
01:23:32,604 --> 01:23:34,404
See? It's happening already.
1244
01:23:34,439 --> 01:23:36,719
- She's good with needy men.
- Yeah.
1245
01:23:37,693 --> 01:23:39,173
Uh, yeah.
1246
01:23:39,612 --> 01:23:41,572
- Well, um... why don't you...
- Yeah.
1247
01:23:43,950 --> 01:23:45,470
- just call me later?.
- Okay.
1248
01:23:46,536 --> 01:23:48,896
Bob, this may not be a good time,
but here's my number.
1249
01:23:51,875 --> 01:23:54,155
Drive safely, Bob.
1250
01:23:55,879 --> 01:23:59,159
Kid wants to lock up, go home.
1251
01:24:00,801 --> 01:24:03,481
How's Bob?
1252
01:24:03,638 --> 01:24:05,998
Okay.
1253
01:24:07,100 --> 01:24:09,860
So, what just happened just now?
1254
01:24:10,062 --> 01:24:12,742
- Then... in there?
- I don't know. I, I, I-
1255
01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,800
Frankly, I don't even
want to talk about it.
1256
01:24:17,737 --> 01:24:20,177
Me neither.
1257
01:24:24,494 --> 01:24:26,878
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
1258
01:24:26,913 --> 01:24:29,633
- No, no, no. No, wait. Stop.
- Mmm? Mmm?
1259
01:24:31,085 --> 01:24:33,045
No, no, no, no.
We gotta- We have to talk.
1260
01:24:33,921 --> 01:24:36,841
We have to talk. We have to do
some talking now, all right?
1261
01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:41,080
Just-Come over here.
Pull up a-
1262
01:24:41,263 --> 01:24:42,463
- Pull up a rail.
- I was enjoying the- Okay.
1263
01:24:44,224 --> 01:24:46,704
All right. Just give me
a little space here.
1264
01:24:49,104 --> 01:24:50,944
Okay.
1265
01:24:52,191 --> 01:24:54,151
All right.
1266
01:24:58,073 --> 01:25:00,593
Do you think may-
1267
01:25:04,163 --> 01:25:06,963
Well, you do have a dress.
1268
01:25:07,708 --> 01:25:10,093
And the church.
1269
01:25:10,128 --> 01:25:12,488
And the wedding date.
1270
01:25:13,715 --> 01:25:16,435
And there's the two of us.
1271
01:25:16,470 --> 01:25:18,336
Maybe-
1272
01:25:21,932 --> 01:25:25,452
You do have to go down the aisle
with somebody...
1273
01:25:26,604 --> 01:25:29,044
that you love,
1274
01:25:29,232 --> 01:25:31,032
- and who loves you back.
- Who?
1275
01:25:51,006 --> 01:25:53,446
I'm okay with that.
1276
01:25:55,928 --> 01:25:58,288
So am I.
1277
01:26:06,439 --> 01:26:08,879
I'm getting married.
1278
01:26:19,537 --> 01:26:20,962
Do you do this often?
1279
01:26:20,997 --> 01:26:24,157
Well, there's not a lot
to do around here.
1280
01:26:24,334 --> 01:26:26,734
I just believe
he's listening to you.
1281
01:26:27,504 --> 01:26:30,304
His hair, any color.
1282
01:26:30,466 --> 01:26:32,746
I like his tight butt.
1283
01:26:34,011 --> 01:26:36,104
- Grandma.
- Well, I do.
1284
01:26:36,139 --> 01:26:38,819
I'll see you at the wedding. Right?
You're gonna be there, huh?
1285
01:26:39,267 --> 01:26:41,507
- Thirty-seven hours.
- I didn't miss the first one.
1286
01:26:43,105 --> 01:26:44,625
We're gonna spend part of the time here
in town 'cause he wants to write a book.
1287
01:26:46,567 --> 01:26:48,784
You always wanted
to write a novel.
1288
01:26:48,819 --> 01:26:52,579
I feel inspired here.
I feel like I can write. I wanna write.
1289
01:26:52,782 --> 01:26:55,502
Ike is getting married.
1290
01:26:58,413 --> 01:27:01,013
Fisher, if you pee on that Persian,
I'm gonna kill you.
1291
01:27:01,166 --> 01:27:03,686
Hi. It's him.
He's on the phone.
1292
01:27:08,883 --> 01:27:11,163
- Hi.
- Hi.
1293
01:27:12,512 --> 01:27:14,992
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
1294
01:27:15,515 --> 01:27:16,982
Pick that up.
1295
01:27:17,017 --> 01:27:19,401
- What are you doing?
- It's all right.
1296
01:27:19,436 --> 01:27:20,756
- Nothing.
- Wow. I see the most beautiful girl.
1297
01:27:23,941 --> 01:27:26,221
He can see me.
1298
01:27:27,028 --> 01:27:28,908
Bet's up!
1299
01:27:29,489 --> 01:27:31,929
Aah! Double jack!
1300
01:27:31,992 --> 01:27:34,632
You were trying to cheat!
It doesn't work.
1301
01:27:41,878 --> 01:27:44,158
Ah! Oh, my God.
1302
01:27:44,193 --> 01:27:46,438
I'm the winner!
1303
01:27:47,342 --> 01:27:49,622
Now, this is
a mature relationship.
1304
01:28:16,999 --> 01:28:19,342
Wedding bells are ringing
today in Hale, Maryland.
1305
01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:22,337
Maggie Carpenter, always a bride,
never a bridesmaid, is attempting...
1306
01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:25,724
to complete
her fourth wedding ceremony.
1307
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:28,759
We'll be back when results are in.
Back to you, Jessica.
1308
01:28:28,929 --> 01:28:31,170
The turnout for this morning's
ceremony is...
1309
01:28:31,205 --> 01:28:33,107
usually saved
for royalty or movie stars,
1310
01:28:33,142 --> 01:28:35,902
but Maggie Carpenter
is Hale, Maryland's very own star.
1311
01:28:36,062 --> 01:28:38,782
T- shirts here.
I got, "Bye, Bye, Bride-ee. "
1312
01:28:38,817 --> 01:28:41,003
I got, "What Part of
1313
01:28:41,151 --> 01:28:43,391
Get your "Runaway Bride"
T- shirts here.
1314
01:28:43,445 --> 01:28:45,454
Will she or won't she?
1315
01:28:45,489 --> 01:28:47,665
That is on the minds of several
hundred folks standing here,
1316
01:28:47,700 --> 01:28:51,900
not to mention on the mind of groom
number four, who is missing in action.
1317
01:28:52,121 --> 01:28:55,041
- He's gonna stand me up.
- Of course he's gonna come,
1318
01:28:55,208 --> 01:28:58,728
because today I saw...
eight geese flying in a "V."
1319
01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:01,520
You with the lucky geese!
You always see geese!
1320
01:29:01,555 --> 01:29:02,181
Not eight!
1321
01:29:02,216 --> 01:29:04,136
- And in "V."
- Eight is better?.
1322
01:29:05,302 --> 01:29:07,702
- Eight in a "V." Can you imagine?
- "V." "V" for, uh-
1323
01:29:09,182 --> 01:29:11,662
- Victory? Victory!
- Great!
1324
01:29:12,310 --> 01:29:15,030
- And... velcro?
- Okay.
1325
01:29:15,188 --> 01:29:16,740
Velcro! Stick together!
1326
01:29:16,775 --> 01:29:18,293
- Virginal!
- No, no.
1327
01:29:21,654 --> 01:29:23,014
I- I'm sweaty. I'm nervous.
Where are my bags?
1328
01:29:24,407 --> 01:29:26,791
- Okay. No.
- No bags! Bags are for later.
1329
01:29:26,826 --> 01:29:30,466
- Rub your ears.
- Rub your ears. That's a great idea.
1330
01:29:30,664 --> 01:29:32,944
That's a very good idea. Rub your ears.
Cory does that to me sometime.
1331
01:29:34,459 --> 01:29:35,979
- A little "ooo," and you just "whoo. "
- We do it to the dog.
1332
01:29:39,465 --> 01:29:41,745
Get your "I Don't Think She Will" shirt.
1333
01:29:41,843 --> 01:29:43,483
These shirts are not sold in stores.
1334
01:29:47,432 --> 01:29:50,392
- Here comes Ike Graham!
- Showtime.
1335
01:29:53,230 --> 01:29:56,150
That's better.
It's pretty nice, actually.
1336
01:29:56,317 --> 01:29:58,077
- Yeah, it's nice.
- He's here!
1337
01:29:58,986 --> 01:30:00,386
Oh, the ear! Ahh! I see him!
1338
01:30:02,532 --> 01:30:05,052
Ike Graham has arrived at the church.
1339
01:30:06,870 --> 01:30:09,430
- Is this your first marriage?
- Is this your last marriage?
1340
01:30:09,498 --> 01:30:11,618
Any little Grahams in the future?
1341
01:30:11,653 --> 01:30:13,217
Oh, he gets whacked!
1342
01:30:13,252 --> 01:30:14,452
- All right, okay.
- This is such a good sign.
1343
01:30:15,880 --> 01:30:17,320
All right! Okay!
1344
01:30:17,674 --> 01:30:20,314
Get this-
Who makes this stuff?
1345
01:30:20,468 --> 01:30:21,708
- The veil is not attacking you.
- Okay, okay.
1346
01:30:24,389 --> 01:30:27,149
- Now is the time to calm down.
- Yes, okay.
1347
01:30:28,936 --> 01:30:32,856
'Cause if you don't get calm,
we won't get your dress on.
1348
01:30:33,858 --> 01:30:36,898
A girl can't get married in flannel.
1349
01:30:37,654 --> 01:30:39,934
He's the one.
He really is the one.
1350
01:30:42,242 --> 01:30:44,126
You're not invited.
1351
01:30:44,161 --> 01:30:45,561
Go back to New York.
Get outta here.
1352
01:30:47,581 --> 01:30:50,947
He's the one!
1353
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:54,680
We gotta hurry 'cause
the Sunday school kids are coming.
1354
01:30:54,715 --> 01:30:56,822
- Mrs. Pressman.
- There's no microphone.
1355
01:30:57,008 --> 01:30:59,208
- Please put it there. No, no fun.
- You're no fun.
1356
01:31:00,387 --> 01:31:02,396
I was gonna do
this Scorsese thing-
1357
01:31:02,431 --> 01:31:04,991
- Whatever. Just do it. Shoot, shoot.
- Ike.
1358
01:31:05,518 --> 01:31:08,278
Friends! Oh, God!
1359
01:31:09,480 --> 01:31:11,840
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
1360
01:31:12,192 --> 01:31:14,952
- Thank you. We are friends, aren't we?
- Of course we are.
1361
01:31:15,946 --> 01:31:18,146
- You'll be my best man.
- Good, but I'm not sure I'm the best.
1362
01:31:19,450 --> 01:31:22,130
Go see the pastor.
He'll tell you what to do.
1363
01:31:22,165 --> 01:31:22,585
All right.
1364
01:31:22,620 --> 01:31:25,460
If someone will tell me
what to do.
1365
01:31:25,623 --> 01:31:28,263
Mmm. You always
looked great in that suit.
1366
01:31:28,877 --> 01:31:30,510
And, Ike?
1367
01:31:30,545 --> 01:31:33,225
I'm happy for you, honey.
1368
01:31:34,216 --> 01:31:36,816
I have a car out back for you
in case she decides to run.
1369
01:31:38,220 --> 01:31:40,900
I have an invitation.
Lou! He's with me.
1370
01:31:45,854 --> 01:31:48,494
You look terrible.
1371
01:31:48,529 --> 01:31:49,791
Thanks.
1372
01:31:51,068 --> 01:31:53,285
Here.
1373
01:31:53,320 --> 01:31:56,640
- Ike, I'm glad it's you.
- Really?
1374
01:31:56,824 --> 01:31:59,000
I wouldn't want to have
found out...
1375
01:31:59,035 --> 01:32:02,195
I wasn't the one
for her in the fourth quarter.
1376
01:32:03,999 --> 01:32:06,679
Well, Coach,
any final advice?
1377
01:32:09,713 --> 01:32:12,033
Maintain eye contact.
1378
01:32:12,068 --> 01:32:13,808
Eye contact.
1379
01:32:13,843 --> 01:32:15,603
Eye contact.
Eye contact. Eye contact.
1380
01:32:31,445 --> 01:32:34,365
What have you got going on here?
1381
01:32:34,532 --> 01:32:36,207
You wanna look just special
for the wedding.
1382
01:32:36,242 --> 01:32:39,922
You should thank me and Lou for
lending you the wedding car. '63 Buick.
1383
01:32:40,122 --> 01:32:40,963
Thank you, Mrs. Trout.
1384
01:32:40,998 --> 01:32:43,958
What are you saying?
We're practically family.
1385
01:32:44,126 --> 01:32:47,486
- How's that there?
- My name is Fisher. What's yours?
1386
01:32:47,672 --> 01:32:49,952
Nice. Betty.
That doesn't want to come out, does it?
1387
01:32:51,467 --> 01:32:52,987
- You just pulled a hair from my neck.
- There we are.
1388
01:32:53,595 --> 01:32:56,635
- Mrs. Trout, please. This is my wedding.
- Yes.
1389
01:32:56,807 --> 01:32:58,247
Sit down. Thank you.
We're starting soon.
1390
01:32:58,851 --> 01:33:01,026
- Who was that?
- Mrs. Trout.
1391
01:33:01,061 --> 01:33:03,661
- He doesn't have a-
- Don't do- Don't.
1392
01:33:03,939 --> 01:33:06,579
I just want that to be able to-
Fold it in the pocket.
1393
01:33:06,651 --> 01:33:08,931
- Right in the pocket.
- Please! Just go-
1394
01:33:11,156 --> 01:33:14,156
- Good luck, sweet girl.
- Oh, thank you, grandma. I love you.
1395
01:33:15,327 --> 01:33:18,047
- I'm really rooting for this one.
- Okay, Dad.
1396
01:33:19,874 --> 01:33:21,132
The place is packed...
1397
01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:23,543
with the whole town of Hale
on the bride's side,
1398
01:33:23,578 --> 01:33:25,919
and with many
New Yorkers on the groom's side.
1399
01:33:28,466 --> 01:33:31,226
- Is this taken?
- No.
1400
01:33:32,387 --> 01:33:34,063
I'm Elaine from Manhattan.
1401
01:33:34,098 --> 01:33:36,498
- I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt.
- I'm sorry.
1402
01:33:36,809 --> 01:33:38,969
That's okay.
There's a lid for every pot.
1403
01:33:40,271 --> 01:33:43,231
And I'm comfortable with Ike.
1404
01:33:43,942 --> 01:33:46,302
It's like Jack Dempsey lost
his heavyweight title to a New Yorker.
1405
01:33:48,780 --> 01:33:51,460
Right. Gene Tunney.
1406
01:33:54,161 --> 01:33:56,081
Spit!
1407
01:33:56,789 --> 01:33:59,189
Let's go.
1408
01:34:00,251 --> 01:34:02,571
Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle.
I don't like that.
1409
01:34:04,548 --> 01:34:06,948
- Make time. Just get there. Just go.
- Fine.
1410
01:34:20,524 --> 01:34:23,244
All rise, please.
1411
01:34:39,795 --> 01:34:41,762
The bride is walking
down the aisle.
1412
01:34:41,797 --> 01:34:44,437
Maggie Carpenter
is walking down the aisle.
1413
01:34:50,014 --> 01:34:53,214
- Oh, she's pausing.
- Stay with me.
1414
01:34:53,393 --> 01:34:54,633
Keep eye contact.
1415
01:35:06,324 --> 01:35:08,724
Please be seated. Thank you.
1416
01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:13,059
I sneaked in a camera.
1417
01:35:13,206 --> 01:35:15,086
We are gathered here today-
1418
01:35:15,876 --> 01:35:17,968
Please, no cameras.
1419
01:35:18,003 --> 01:35:20,723
Could we hold off photos
until the end of the ceremony?
1420
01:35:20,758 --> 01:35:22,904
Thank you.
1421
01:35:23,593 --> 01:35:25,185
No.
1422
01:35:25,220 --> 01:35:27,180
- Where is she going?
- Don't.
1423
01:35:28,682 --> 01:35:30,242
- Maggie!
- Block the doors!
1424
01:35:34,438 --> 01:35:36,958
No, Maggie, don't!
1425
01:35:43,114 --> 01:35:45,514
Oh, never a dull moment
at a Maggie wedding.
1426
01:35:45,826 --> 01:35:48,226
There's a man coming with
lots of candy in his pocket.
1427
01:35:48,245 --> 01:35:51,125
If you tickle him, he'll give you all
his candy. Here you go, little queen.
1428
01:35:52,208 --> 01:35:54,448
- Maggie!
- Just tickle him.
1429
01:35:54,794 --> 01:35:57,154
- Give us some candy!
- Whoa. No, not me.
1430
01:35:58,882 --> 01:36:01,642
Get the naughty bride.
The naughty bride.
1431
01:36:01,677 --> 01:36:04,143
No, no.
It's an Armani suit.
1432
01:36:07,307 --> 01:36:08,907
Wait!
1433
01:36:11,896 --> 01:36:14,296
- Wait!
- Maggie!
1434
01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:16,800
Go. Go. Go, go.
1435
01:36:18,904 --> 01:36:21,544
Maggie! Maggie!
1436
01:36:22,699 --> 01:36:24,979
Don't do it! Don't!
1437
01:36:26,287 --> 01:36:27,294
Maggie!
1438
01:36:27,329 --> 01:36:30,449
- He's running after her.
- He's in pretty good shape, too.
1439
01:36:31,042 --> 01:36:33,682
Maggie! No, Maggie!
1440
01:36:34,295 --> 01:36:36,137
Where do you think she's going?
1441
01:36:36,172 --> 01:36:38,892
Wherever it is,
she'll be there by 10:30 tomorrow.
1442
01:36:40,552 --> 01:36:43,072
Maggie! No!
1443
01:36:49,020 --> 01:36:51,214
Maggie!
1444
01:36:51,249 --> 01:36:53,408
No! No!
1445
01:36:53,567 --> 01:36:56,327
Maggie!
1446
01:37:01,784 --> 01:37:04,064
Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham!
1447
01:37:10,085 --> 01:37:11,765
- Mr. Graham, what is your next move?
- How do you feel right now?
1448
01:37:13,213 --> 01:37:15,773
- What will you do?
- I know you must feel terrible.
1449
01:37:18,469 --> 01:37:20,389
- Mr. Graham, talk to us.
- That's enough.
1450
01:37:21,097 --> 01:37:23,737
Come on. Leave him alone.
1451
01:37:30,899 --> 01:37:33,339
"Hardware Honey
Goes Nuts and Bolts. "
1452
01:37:33,485 --> 01:37:35,445
How many times
is she gonna do this?
1453
01:37:44,748 --> 01:37:46,965
And finally, in local news,
1454
01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:49,360
the mayor has requested that we all
stop gossiping about last week's...
1455
01:37:50,296 --> 01:37:52,976
Maggie Carpenter "almost wedding. "
1456
01:37:53,132 --> 01:37:56,052
This is Cory Flemming
for W-HALE saying...
1457
01:37:56,219 --> 01:37:58,979
may the Good Lord make you smart
enough to live in a small town.
1458
01:37:59,139 --> 01:38:01,539
And we cut.
1459
01:38:01,808 --> 01:38:04,568
Camera loves you.
1460
01:38:05,521 --> 01:38:08,241
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah.
1461
01:38:08,858 --> 01:38:11,578
I'm closing.
You wanna go to Butch's for a drink?
1462
01:38:11,613 --> 01:38:13,799
Uh, you know,
I'm gonna finish up here,
1463
01:38:14,364 --> 01:38:16,684
and then I think
I'll just head home.
1464
01:38:16,950 --> 01:38:19,110
Okay.
1465
01:38:19,995 --> 01:38:22,275
You know,
1466
01:38:22,956 --> 01:38:24,636
I was thinking about
that "V" thing.
1467
01:38:25,668 --> 01:38:28,628
And I think
the "V" in the geese...
1468
01:38:28,796 --> 01:38:31,436
was half of a "W" for-
1469
01:38:34,010 --> 01:38:35,450
For, uh-
1470
01:38:37,305 --> 01:38:39,985
- W-W-what are you talking about?
- Wedding. Wedding.
1471
01:38:40,726 --> 01:38:43,446
You just gotta get
the rest of your ducks in a row.
1472
01:38:45,314 --> 01:38:47,594
Thank you.
1473
01:38:51,154 --> 01:38:54,114
- So, you still think that he-
- You're quick.
1474
01:38:54,282 --> 01:38:55,722
You're very quick.
1475
01:40:30,722 --> 01:40:33,522
Okay, here we go.
1476
01:40:44,403 --> 01:40:47,683
- Ike, how's it going?
- Hey, Marvin.
1477
01:40:47,866 --> 01:40:50,106
That good, huh?
1478
01:41:27,534 --> 01:41:28,876
Hi, it's me.
1479
01:41:28,911 --> 01:41:30,511
Leave a message after the beep.
1480
01:41:40,006 --> 01:41:42,566
Hello, Ike.
1481
01:41:51,102 --> 01:41:55,422
Don't tell me my doorman
is one of your many admirers.
1482
01:41:57,484 --> 01:42:00,364
I'm making friends with your cat.
1483
01:42:02,072 --> 01:42:03,914
Is it okay that I'm here?
1484
01:42:03,949 --> 01:42:06,549
I don't have much choice
in the matter, do I?
1485
01:42:07,328 --> 01:42:10,408
But, I can't speak for Italics.
Traitor.
1486
01:42:12,584 --> 01:42:15,184
I don't blame you for being mad.
1487
01:42:15,337 --> 01:42:17,177
Or furious.
1488
01:42:17,964 --> 01:42:20,444
Irate? Livid.
1489
01:42:22,553 --> 01:42:24,696
What is it, Maggie?
1490
01:42:24,731 --> 01:42:26,840
You here on business?
1491
01:42:27,099 --> 01:42:29,779
By the way, I saw your lamps.
1492
01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:31,692
They're terrific. Yeah, really.
1493
01:42:32,606 --> 01:42:35,926
It's something I've always wanted to-
1494
01:42:36,485 --> 01:42:40,605
You could make breaking and entering
into a new career.
1495
01:42:43,701 --> 01:42:46,461
So, what are you
doing here anyway?
1496
01:42:49,124 --> 01:42:51,684
I wanted to talk to you...
1497
01:42:52,836 --> 01:42:55,836
about why I run,
1498
01:42:57,967 --> 01:43:01,247
sometimes ride, away from things.
1499
01:43:04,098 --> 01:43:06,698
- Does it matter?.
- I think so.
1500
01:43:09,354 --> 01:43:14,114
When I was walking down the aisle,
I was walking toward somebody...
1501
01:43:14,360 --> 01:43:18,440
who had no idea who I really was.
1502
01:43:20,074 --> 01:43:21,674
And it was only half
the other person's fault...
1503
01:43:24,871 --> 01:43:26,631
because I had done everything
to convince him...
1504
01:43:29,835 --> 01:43:31,035
that I was exactly what he wanted.
1505
01:43:32,588 --> 01:43:35,056
So, it was good...
1506
01:43:35,091 --> 01:43:36,851
that I didn't go through with it
because it would've been a lie.
1507
01:43:40,305 --> 01:43:42,905
But you-
1508
01:43:43,934 --> 01:43:46,494
You knew the real me.
1509
01:43:48,689 --> 01:43:50,849
Yes, I did.
1510
01:43:51,234 --> 01:43:53,954
I didn't.
1511
01:43:54,445 --> 01:43:58,285
Still, I ended up
chasing a truck.
1512
01:44:12,465 --> 01:44:16,185
I can't, um,
do anything about the truck.
1513
01:44:18,263 --> 01:44:20,623
But, uh-
1514
01:44:24,603 --> 01:44:27,563
- Benedict.
- Arnold.
1515
01:44:27,732 --> 01:44:30,332
I love eggs Benedict.
1516
01:44:30,443 --> 01:44:33,083
I hate all the other
kinds of eggs.
1517
01:44:33,238 --> 01:44:36,318
I hate big weddings,
everybody staring.
1518
01:44:37,367 --> 01:44:40,767
I'd like to get married on
a weekday while everybody's at work.
1519
01:44:40,955 --> 01:44:43,515
And if I ride off into the sunset,
I want my own horse.
1520
01:44:44,459 --> 01:44:47,059
- Should I be writing this down?
- And there's something else.
1521
01:44:47,094 --> 01:44:49,391
No, you can tell me.
Don't-
1522
01:44:49,464 --> 01:44:51,384
Okay.
1523
01:44:56,138 --> 01:44:58,778
These are for you.
1524
01:45:03,938 --> 01:45:06,378
- Used-
- Well, they're mine.
1525
01:45:07,275 --> 01:45:10,235
I'm turning in
my running shoes to you.
1526
01:45:15,201 --> 01:45:16,834
This is serious.
1527
01:45:16,869 --> 01:45:18,711
And there's one more thing.
1528
01:45:18,746 --> 01:45:21,546
I know, the mind reels that
there could be more after this.
1529
01:45:21,708 --> 01:45:24,068
But, um, if you could just have a seat.
1530
01:45:29,592 --> 01:45:32,392
Let's just not have that there.
1531
01:45:32,553 --> 01:45:33,793
Okay. Okay.
1532
01:45:40,103 --> 01:45:43,743
- Oh, no. My, God, no.
- No, no. Don't hide your face.
1533
01:45:43,941 --> 01:45:46,981
This happens once in a lifetime,
and it's definitely a first for me.
1534
01:45:47,152 --> 01:45:48,872
You're not gonna want to miss it,
so pay close attention.
1535
01:45:56,579 --> 01:46:00,899
I love you,
Homer Eisenhower Graham.
1536
01:46:03,754 --> 01:46:06,594
Will you marry me?
1537
01:46:18,770 --> 01:46:20,696
I gotta think about this
a little bit.
1538
01:46:20,731 --> 01:46:22,611
- Good. I was hoping you would say that.
- You were not! Not true.
1539
01:46:23,567 --> 01:46:25,887
If you'd said yes, I wouldn't
be able to do this next part...
1540
01:46:26,446 --> 01:46:28,726
and I've been practicing so let me-
1541
01:46:31,117 --> 01:46:33,197
Okay.
1542
01:46:33,453 --> 01:46:36,013
- Ready?
- I'm listening.
1543
01:46:43,589 --> 01:46:47,509
I guarantee
that we'll have tough times.
1544
01:46:48,553 --> 01:46:51,673
And I guarantee
that at some point...
1545
01:46:51,848 --> 01:46:54,968
one or both of us
will want to get out.
1546
01:46:56,520 --> 01:46:59,160
But I also guarantee...
1547
01:46:59,690 --> 01:47:01,490
that if I don't ask you to be mine,
1548
01:47:03,278 --> 01:47:05,798
I'll regret it
for the rest of my life.
1549
01:47:06,907 --> 01:47:09,467
'Cause I know in my heart...
1550
01:47:10,285 --> 01:47:12,765
you're the only one for me.
1551
01:47:20,213 --> 01:47:22,253
That's a pretty
good speech, Maggie.
1552
01:47:22,924 --> 01:47:26,004
I borrowed it from
this writer I know.
1553
01:47:28,555 --> 01:47:30,795
So?
1554
01:47:58,547 --> 01:48:00,947
Dance with me.
1555
01:48:23,449 --> 01:48:26,289
We are gathered here
today to celebrate the union...
1556
01:48:26,452 --> 01:48:28,492
of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham.
1557
01:48:41,803 --> 01:48:44,483
- Do you have the rings?
- Yes.
1558
01:48:44,639 --> 01:48:47,799
Do you, Ike, take Maggie
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1559
01:48:51,939 --> 01:48:54,114
I do.
1560
01:48:54,149 --> 01:48:58,309
Do you, Maggie, take Ike
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
1561
01:48:58,529 --> 01:48:59,954
I do.
1562
01:48:59,989 --> 01:49:02,248
In this life that you share together,
1563
01:49:02,283 --> 01:49:03,523
may your individuality
strengthen your love.
1564
01:49:07,831 --> 01:49:10,007
With the power vested in me,
1565
01:49:10,042 --> 01:49:12,482
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
1566
01:49:16,382 --> 01:49:18,822
You may kiss the bride.
1567
01:49:47,375 --> 01:49:50,015
Guess what? She did it!
1568
01:49:50,503 --> 01:49:53,103
Maggie Carpenter got married.
1569
01:49:59,638 --> 01:50:03,638
Betty, she did it! She did it!
1570
01:50:04,305 --> 01:50:10,324
121766
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