All language subtitles for Lexx.S02E06.1080p.HDTV.x264-NOGRP

Lexx 2.06 Stan's trial

It has to be here, Lexx!

This is the right sector, I'm sure.

I don't see anything Stan.

790, come on, you gotta help me.

The Celes pleasure transport
is here somewhere.

I'm busy.

You're not busy!

And I have no motivation to assist you
in your joyless quest for sexual relief.

Xev - being around you, it's not easy.

I suffer, I hurt! I've got feelings too.

I know you have no interest in me,

but I would think,

because of the extra sexual drive you
got from your love slave transformation

that you, more than anyone,
would understand my situation.

If you kill him, he'd stop talking.

Look, the women on the Celes
pleasure transport will give me

what I need -

they're really good, they're
really, really - oh!

Wouldn't they want money?

They're traders,

you just give them something valuable
and it's bingo bongo yum yum time.

Bingo bongo dumb dumb time!

Any men aboard?

As if that were of any interest!

No.
And what would you trade?

Well - I'm sure I could get a really pleasant
enema in exchange for a robot head.

Please - kill him now, Xev!

790 - locate the Celes pleasure transport.

What?!

You heard me.

Why should we deny Stan the release he seeks?

You want release, Tweedle?
Jump off the bridge!

790!

As you desire...

That's it! I'm home.

And I had to make a decision, so,
I said, 'Number 17 - and number 42!'.

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They both come in.
Off go the clothes, on goes the oil,

and they start rubbing themselves
all over me, and then -

Welcome.

This is the famous Celes pleasure transport,

cruising the universe to
make your day a lovelier one.

Er - I don't know if you remember me,
but my name is Stanley Tweedle,

that's Stanley H Tweedle.
Permission to - come - aboard?

Welcome back, Stanley Tweedle! Permission
granted. Yeah! All right then!

Have fun, mighty captain of the Lexx.

Don't wait up for me.

If you only had a tongue.

Pretend that I do!

Welcome.

This is the famous Celes pleasure transport,

cruising the universe to
make your day a lovelier one.

Hello Stanley Tweedle.

I'm here!

And I already know what I want.

I want number 17, number 43,
and number 55!

Hello? Anybody home?

Hello Stanley Tweedle.

Hello?

Let it be known throughout the Light Universe

that the arch traitor Stanley Tweedle

has been apprehended in a sting operation

on the Celes pleasure transport.

Let me confirm -

the arch traitor Stanley Tweedle,

who caused the destruction of more
than one hundred of our Reform planets,

has bee arrested.

Grand Prosecutor Jihana is currently
travelling to the Celes pleasure transport

to provide the arch traitor with
the swift justice he deserves.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

I think we have a problem.

Actually, I think it's more of a solution!

Welcome, Grand Prosecutor Jihana.
Hallowed be the memory of -

I want to see him.

Of course.

We have to save him.

Why?

Why? Because we have to, that's why.

Is it right to save him

if he is truly guilty of the crime
with which he has been charged?

Oh, I don't believe that he did anything
that incredibly bad. He couldn't have.

He's too - ineffective.

Stanley Tweedle never gets anything done.

If he is innocent, then
we will not need to save him.

If he is guilty, then perhaps
he should pay the price

Well, he is our friend Kai.

Then I suggest that we attend his trial.

- Are you Stanley Tweedle?
- Who are you?

More importantly, who are you?

Are you Stanley Tweedle or are you not?

What am I doing here?

Let's start again.

I ask questions - you answer them.

Very simple.

Now, tell me - are you Stanley Tweedle?

I am. Stanley Tweedle, captain of the Lexx.

I have been waiting such
a long time to meet you in the flesh.

I demand that I be freed immediately, or else -

Or else what, arch traitor?

Or else, um - my friends onboard the Lexx

will destroy this vessel, and, er -

I don't think so.

Your friends, Xev and Kai,
have been in communication with us

and have requested to be guests at your trial.

- My what?!
- Your trial.

On behalf of the Committee
for Justice for the Lost Souls,

I hereby place you formally under arrest

for the murder of 685 billion,
304 million people.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Intruders!
We have been invited.

Gentlemen! Thank you for your loyalty,

but these two are my guests. Thank you, and -

The company forces are made up entirely from those
who lost relatives on the Reform planets.

They have dedicated their lives
to bringing Stanley Tweedle to justice.

You must appreciate their sensitivity.

Tell me, what brought you together
with Stanley Tweedle? on the -

The Lexx.

We have nothing to say.

We escaped together from the Cluster
before it was destroyed.

Did you know Stanley Tweedle before that time?

No, I was not aware of him.

In fact, until very recently
I was not aware of anything.

Nice to meet you. I must prepare.

Nool - you will defend Stanley Tweedle
to the best of your ability.

Grand Prosecutor Jihana -
you ask the impossible.

How can I in all conscience defend
a man who I know - who we all know -

is unquestionably guilty
of this most terrible of crimes?

The accused must have a proper defence.

You must commit yourself
to the possibility of his innocence.

You're asking me to subvert the truth.

I'm asking you to discharge your duty

as the legal representative
for the defence of the accused.

I believe you have a promising future, Nool.

Will you accept the challenge?

Of course, Grand Prosecutor Jihana. If you request.

What are you doing?
Where are you taking me?

I don't like courtrooms.

Presumably the scales of justice have shifted

you were tried by the Divine Order
for failing to perform your wifely duties.

Yeah? I'll believe it when I see it.

- Stan!
- Xev, Kai, help me, they -

Silence!

Hello, I'm Public Defender Nool,

I'll defend you as best I can.

Hello.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Judge Pendelbron presiding. All rise.

This court is hereby convened by the Committee
of justice for the victims of the 94 Reform planets.

There are potentially
two phases to this trial.

In the first phase we will determine whether
Stanley Tweedle is guilty, or not guilty,

of the crimes with which he has been charged.

If the facts show him to be guilty,

the second phase of the trial will be
to determine the nature of his punishment.

Please be seated.

He's not guilty, not Stanley.
He couldn't be!

Stanley H Tweedle. You are accused

of causing certain amino acids
which carried vital military data

to fall under the control
of the forces of His Shadow.

As a result, those forces
were able to launch a surprise attack

and completely destroy
the 100 defenceless Reform planets,

with the loss of 685 billion souls.
How do you plead?

If you plead guilty, you can ask
for the mercy of a quick and painless death.

It was only 94 planets!

Guilty or innocent?

Six of the planets weren't Reform planets,
they were allied but they weren't behind the shields.

94 or 100, it doesn't matter. Guilty or innocent?

Not guilty!

Innocent, Your Honour.

Stanley Tweedle may perjure himself
with a claim of innocence

but the real purpose of our presence
here today is hardly to prove his guilt.

It is well established

that Stanley Tweedle's crime

is the most terrible act
of pure evil ever committed.

We are really here to decide

which punishment best fits
that crime of crimes.

I'm not guilty!

Silence!

This is not a fair trial,
she's already decided that he's guilty.

She does not decide, the judge decides.
She is the prosecutor,

it is her duty to persuade
the judge that Stan is guilty.

Well, she's doing a good job.

I would also like to take this opportunity

to thank the special forces of the committee

who patiently staked out
this Celes pleasure transport

where Tweedle, most heinous
criminal of all time,

carried out his many sexual perversions.

Yeah, I wish!

One more outburst from the accused,
and he shall be removed from court.

Let us go back ten years ago

to that fateful day where it all began,

right here, on this very spot.

At that time the accused was
an assistant deputy back-up courier

for the Ostral B heretics who were
rendezvousing with other brave heretics,

struggling against the forces of His Shadow.

Stanley Tweedle's job was simply to carry
a third back-up copy of amino acids,

ontaining codes

that allowed friendly ships

to pass through the Reform planets
defensive shield without being destroyed.

These amino acids were hidden in a capsule
in one of the arch traitor's teeth.

Let us play the security image recorder

on the Celes pleasure transport that fateful day.

What have I got to trade? Lots!

Sixteen oxygen cylinders. I've got
an extra uniform just like this one,

and a ship's navigation system -
slightly damaged.

Unacceptable!

Unacceptable?

It's my only other uniform,
it's in perfect condition,

and ship navigators are hard to come by.

Sorry, those items are unacceptable.

What else do you have to trade?

Look lady, I'm on an important mission.

I'm a hero, you should give me a discount.

Information has value. It can be traded.

What is your mission?

My mission? Er - it's secret,
but it's very important.

I wish I could tell you, but I can't.

In order to gain access
to the Celes pleasure transport,

you must provide us with something of value.

I'm an Ostral B heretic!
I'm on an important secret mission,

and that's all I can say!

What rank are you?

Assistant back-up courier.

Welcome aboard the Celes pleasure transport,

assistant deputy back-up courier Stanley Tweedle.

We have a special place
in our hearts for Ostral B.

All right!

Let the record show that
Stanley Tweedle's indiscriminate tongue

helped the forces of His Divine Shadow to pinpoint
the exact location of the Ostral B heretics -

and all for what, Stanley Tweedle?

Was your little moment of perverse enjoyment
worth the lives of 600 billion people?

The Grand Prosecutor offers no specific proof

that it was Stanley Tweedle who led the forces
of His Shadow back to the Ostral B heretics.

I submit, that we do not know
for certain that this was the case.

Duly noted.

After effectively identifying himself
and his mission,

the arch traitor returned directly
to the Ostral B rendezvous,

leading the enemy home.

I did not identify my mission!

The Grand Prosecutor offers no specific evidence

that the arch traitor led the enemy home.

Your Honour, I would like
to present that evidence now.

Proceed.

Let us turn to the final agonising
moments on the Ostral B base,

using images reconstructed

from data recorders from
the destroyed Ostral B vessels,

as well as from the Tweedle shuttle craft.

Grand Prosecutor, this is Stanley Tweedle
returning from the Celes pleasure transport.

Vessel approaching at 3 quadrant,
identify yourself.

It's me, assistant deputy
backup courier Stanley Tweedle.

All vessels to battle stations!
League intruder approaching in 3 quadrant.

No, it's me, Stanley Tweedle,
assistant deputy backup courier.

I was just visiting
the Celes pleasure transport -

And here you see His Shadow's ship, the MegaShadow,

which clearly followed Stanley Tweedle
to the Ostral B base.

Divine Shadow upon me!

Let the record show that
the defendant Stanley Tweedle

ed the forces of His Shadow directly
to the Ostral B station

and is therefore responsible
for their deaths.

Your Honour -

we know that the MegaShadow appeared suddenly

and destroyed the Ostral B station
just as the accused returned,

but - it could have already been underway.

We can only speculate as to the cause,

and without actual proof, Your Honour,
and with all respect,

these accusations on the part of the Grand
Prosecutor are merely conjectural

and do not carry the weight of certainty.

Yeah.

Admit you led them in, arch traitor!

Admit what we all know to be the truth.

He didn't lead them in!

We will have silence and
respect from the gallery!

I know Stanley, and he would not do that.

Silence!

I will soon more directly prove
the arch traitor's guilt -

which I would like to continue to do,
after a short recess?

Recess granted.

Stanley, is there anything we can do for you?

Get me outta here!

Stanley, we cannot interfere with
the cause of justice, well served.

Somebody help me!

You're innocent, Stan, I know that.

I am! I am innocent!.

Welcome. This is the famous
Celes pleasure transport,

cruising the universe
to make your day a lovelier one.

I thought you were smart, Nool.

Sometimes people who are too smart
are actually very stupid.

I don't understand.

You seem to have developed
the peculiar notion

that the arch traitor is innocent
and should be set free -

or perhaps, forgiven for
his little transgression.

I don't personally doubt his guilt,
Jihana but, I'm discharging my duty

to defend him, just as you requested.

Do you know why I came

all the way out here

to prosecute this most simple
of all cases personally, Nool?

No.

I wanna kill him myself.

I wanna be the one who sees
the light go out in his eyes.

You know why? Because it turns me on.

Does it shock you?

You're doing a fine job, Nool -
but you are fired.

What?

I cannot work with someone who's too stupid

to see the fine line that needs to be tread.

In order to be successful,
you have to be astute enough

to get the climate around you

to anticipate my wishes.

You're not cut out for this line of work.

Grand Prosecutor, I -

You will be leaving. Thank you, Nool.

Now, I assume

His Shadow paid you well for the information

you got from Stanley Tweedle?

That isn't true.

We only let Tweedle in because
he was a heretic.

Lissha, I want you to satisfy me.

Will you do that?

OK. If you like.

That will keep me going for a while.

She was a whore, without citizenship,
and has no rights.

Any problems?

It's just not - it's not -
I'm innocent! I'm innocent!

What's going on?
Where's the defender?

I do not know.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Where is the defendant's representative?

He has withdrawn from the case, Your Honour,

claiming that his conscience could
not allow him to defend a man

a man whose guilt is so certain.

Who will represent him in defence?

He seems inclined to want
to speak for himself.

That's perfectly acceptable to me

This is highly unusual. I will have to -

Your Honour.

I request the court's permission to
represent Stanley Tweedle in his defence.

And you are?

I am Kai.

I have no objections.

Permission granted. You may proceed.

Memory probe, please.

His shuttle drifted aimlessly
in space, calling for help.

Again, we will refer to recordings recovered
from the defendant's shuttle craft.

To this, we will add
the memory probe evidence,

which no-one has ever seen,

because we will only now extract it
from the defendant's brain.

Ostral B heretics, please come in.

This is assistant deputy backup
courier Stanley Tweedle.

I'm low on air and awaiting instructions.

This is SubCom Feppo,
Ostral B Sector 245 command.

Tell us where you are, Stanley Tweedle,
and we'll come and say hello.

I'm transmitting my co-ordinates -

Can't you tell where I am
by my signal, SubCom Feppo?

Your direct signal is too weak.
We are reconstructing reflections.

How do I know you're the real thing?

Who else would be way out here
scanning low power signals?

Mercenaries.

Suffocation is not exactly a nice way to die.

Tell me Stanley, how often do ships
normally pass this way?

And aren't we both transmitting
on an encrypted stream

I didn't know any mercenaries had access to?

OK, I buy that.

Thank you, Stanley Tweedle.

And Stanley?

Yes, SubCom Feppo?

How do you spell sucker?

This was the precise moment

that the arch traitor Stanley Tweedle

committed the most serious crime,

delivering a death sentence

on the entire population
of the Reform planets.

Stanley Tweedle had enough time
to destroy himself and his shuttle,

before the Sub-Nebulae mercenaries
could reach him.

He could have ended one life,
and saved 600 billion.

He could have been a hero,
and died for the great cause.

But he did not make that choice.

He chose the coward's route.

What happened next is well known.

The Sub-Nebulaes captured
and sold the accused

and his codes to the Divine Order.

A few weeks later, the
Reform planets were destroyed.

Stanley Tweedle, do the images just

shown accurately reflect events

that led to the loss of acid codes

in your tooth?

Yes.

I rest my case.

Your Honour, may I question the accused?

You may proceed.

Do you have anything to add, Stan?

Well, I wanted to blow up the shuttle, I did,

but, I - I couldn't do it.
I was afraid to die.

I mean, I wanted to, but I couldn't,

and I'm sorry if I caused anything
to happen to the Reform planets.

Why were you made a security guard
on the Cluster?

They wanted to keep me alive for a while
in case they ever needed more information.

And then I think - the system
just kinda forgot about me.

Did you ever meet His Divine Shadow?

Yes! After we stole the Lexx,
His Divine Shadow came onboard,

and, and, we followed you to the P Chamber

and you started to kill the brains
of the Divine Predecessors,

and then His Divine Shadow tried to kill you,

so me and Zev started to destroy the brains,

and that distracted His Shadow and,
and you killed him!

So you helped kill His Shadow?

I did. I helped kill His Divine Shadow.

And I'm glad I did,

because it was His Divine Shadow

that really killed the Ostral B and
all the people on the Reform planets -

and there were only 94 planets, not 100!

But you do admit that you are guilty

of letting the codes fall into
the hands of mercenaries,

who sold them to His Shadow?

Yes.

I can finally say it too.

I, I should have blown myself up,

I wish I had, but I didn't.

And I've had to live with that all this time.

But I didn't kill anyone.

Your Honour,

Stanley Tweedle admits

that he committed the crime

of letting the codes fall into
the hands of the Divine Order.

But I also ask that you take
into consideration the fact

that he played a crucial role

in helping to end the rule
of His Divine Shadow.

He should be shown the mercy

that befits... a tainted hero.

The defence rests.

I will render my decision after
a short recess.

Kai, thank you. And Xev.

No-one's ever stood up like that
for me before, never in my whole life.

You're welcome, Stanley.

What do we do now?

We wait for the decision.
It could take time.

Stanley Tweedle,

you have been found guilty
of the murder of 685 billion souls.

Your sentence shall be passed after

you have had a few moments to consult
your legal representative.

You should know,

that the minimum punishment
for murder, is death.

Stanley, you must request the mercy
of a quick and painless death.

But I don't wanna die at all Kai?

He has been found guilty, Xev.

I don't care, we have to get him out of here!

that would be wrong. I cannot do it.
I'm sorry Stan.

What's this?

Nerve bore worms.

The Grand Prosecutor ordered them,
for the execution of the arch traitor.

This court will now contemplate the nature
of your punishment, Stanley Tweedle.

The defence requests

that Stanley Tweedle be shown
mercy, your honour,

and that he be allowed the dignity
of a quick and painless death.

The prosecution requests

that the arch traitor be given the ultimate
punishment for the ultimate treason -

for the ultimate treason -

that he be subjected to the nerve
bore worm treatment.

These worms will keep him alive,

but in excruciating pain

until they have extracted every bit
of nutrient from his flesh.

No!

Silence!

Your Honour -

the prisoner's heroic actions in defeating
His Shadow merit some mercy from this court.

His actions, Your Honour, deserve
a punishment far more painful

than nerve bore worms - but unfortunately,
one does not exist.

Stanley Tweedle deserves to be punished,

but sentencing him to be tortured
is an act of vengeance,

not justice, an act of pure barbarism.

Were the 600 billion shown mercy?

Inflicting more pain insults the lost souls.

As they are all dead, it cannot be argued
that they would get any satisfaction

from his torture.

How dare you speak for the dead!

I am well qualified to speak for the dead.

Your Honour,

I ask the court to rise above the emotion of vengeance,
and to display the virtue of compassion.

Your Honour, the scale of the crime
demands an equivalent punishment.

Stanley Tweedle,

by the powers vested in me by this court

I hereby sentence you, to a quick and painless
death, by the most expedient means available

Your Honour, I request that I,
Grand Prosecutor Jihana,

be permitted to oversee the execution.

Request granted.

Thank you, Your Honour.

This court is now adjourned..

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Hallowed be the memory of the Lost Souls.

Congratulations.

- Stan!
- I don't wanna die!

Goodbye, Stanley.

Don't say that!
We won't let you die Stanley!

There is nothing more we can do Xev.

No!

I'm excited. Wanna take a look?

But I'm supposed to get a quick and
painless death, that's what the judge said.

Life is full of surprises! Death, for example.

You can't do this!

You know, in every society there are certain
individuals who are different from normal -

they could be colour blind, for instance,
or have an enhanced sense of smell.

Or they could get pleasure from
the suffering of others.

Certain tasks that others find unpleasant

might have the opposite effect on them,

and it could even help them in
the advancement of their career.

Death excites me, Stanley.

It makes me feel a special
tingle - know what I mean?

No death has ever excited me as much as yours.

No, we can't let him die!

It will be painless. He will feel nothing.

But he doesn't deserve it.

It has been decided.

Don't you have any feelings for Stan?

Only the living have feelings.

Sure. And how are we going to fly the Lexx?

You will start a new life, that begins here.

And what about you?

I have no future.

The man Kai and the woman Xev
are accessories to the arch traitor.

As citizenshipless drifters,
they have no rights.

I instruct you to kill them.

We will kill them at once, Grand Prosecutor.

But they didn't do anything!

Oh, I'm really tingling now!

Stan is not an evil person.

I know.

Halt!

Why?

The Grand Prosecutor has deemed you
to be accomplices to the arch traitor.

Oh, she has, has she?

Don't we get the benefit of a trial?

You are citizenshipless drifters,
and have no rights.

This is not justice.

No, it's not..

Jihana brought nerve bore worms - for Stanley.

They eat their way slowly up every
nerve in your body,digesting everything,

but they always keep you alive,

because they don't like to eat dead flesh.

The last thing they eat is your brain,

but that doesn't hurt,

because that's when you finally die.

It will take a few minutes

for the nerve bore worms
to reach you, Stanley.

I recommend that you stop breathing..

I especially brought these along
with me Stanley, just for you.

Come on, arch traitor - down the hatch!

To move is to die. You understand?

His sentence will be carried out!

Not anymore.

You are not interested in justice, Jihana -

only cruelty.

You make the two sound incompatible!

Oh, I'm really really glad to see you guys.
You gonna kill her?

Do you think that I should?

I have no motivation to kill anyone.

However, I will kill her if you request

that I be the enforcer of justice.

I think that she deserves -

I mean, without a doubt,

if anyone - being a grand prosecutor,

she really, especially, deserves to get -

I don't know.

Let's just go back to the Lexx.

Weakling!

Ignore her, Stan. Let's go.

Guilty as charged.

Guilty of the greatest crime ever committed.

Guilty of interfering
with perfect robot love.

Guilty!

Guilty!

Can you shut him up for a while?

Off - for a while!

I'll be thinking of you.

You know, I've been living
with it for all these years.

Stanley Tweedle, arch traitor -

murderer, coward, you name it.

Felt kinda good to own up.

You were brave.

Kai - would you really have
killed Jihana if I said so?

I asked you if you wanted me
to be the enforcer of justice..

If you had said yes, I would have
killed the Grand Prosecutor -

and then, I would have killed you, Stanley.

But, in both cases, it would
have been quick and painless.

Do you really mean that?

I have no motivation to lie.

A while is up!

OK Lexx - take us as far away from here

as you can.

As you request, Stan.

How did they find out about
the nerve bore worms?

I told them.

I told them

Because, Grand Prosecutor,
you are a truly evil woman.

Thank you.

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