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1
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What's up, Wayniacs?
Welcome to "The Marlon Way."
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00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:05,192
You know what the most
important thing in life is?
3
00:00:05,193 --> 00:00:07,070
A good wingman.
4
00:00:07,071 --> 00:00:09,739
You ain't nothing
without a good wingman.
5
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,574
Take Batman for example.
6
00:00:11,575 --> 00:00:13,076
What's Batman without Robin?
7
00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:14,744
He's just a rich dude in a cave.
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00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:16,312
But Batman with Robin,
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00:00:16,313 --> 00:00:20,083
he's a rich dude in a cave
with a boy in tights.
10
00:00:20,084 --> 00:00:24,087
Wait, actually Robin make
the whole thing kinda weird.
11
00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:26,456
You need to keep an eye
on that damn Batman.
12
00:00:26,457 --> 00:00:29,626
Anyway, my point is
if you've got a good wingman,
13
00:00:29,627 --> 00:00:31,861
you'll always succeed in life,
14
00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:35,398
and your boy Marlon
is the best wingman of all.
15
00:00:35,399 --> 00:00:38,134
Hey, Marlon, I have a date.
Can I borrow your cologne?
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00:00:38,135 --> 00:00:39,969
Hell no! Use the Febreze!
17
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:41,838
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
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00:00:41,839 --> 00:00:43,573
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
19
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,642
♪ Marlon, Marlon, Marlon,
Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ♪
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00:00:45,643 --> 00:00:50,413
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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00:00:50,414 --> 00:00:52,248
[HIP-HOP MUSIC]
22
00:00:52,249 --> 00:00:55,485
This movie gets
more and more remarkable
23
00:00:55,486 --> 00:00:56,719
every time I see it.
24
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,821
This is the modern day "Citizen Kane."
25
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:00,757
It puts "Casablanca" to shame.
26
00:01:00,758 --> 00:01:02,358
It's better than "The Godfather."
27
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:03,660
What are you watching?
28
00:01:03,661 --> 00:01:05,995
BOTH: "Radio."
29
00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,230
"Radio?"
30
00:01:07,231 --> 00:01:09,499
With Cuba Gooding Jr. and the teeth?
31
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,334
I hated that movie.
32
00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:14,437
Wow, see this is why
she and I didn't work.
33
00:01:14,438 --> 00:01:17,707
Anybody that don't love "Radio"
don't love themselves.
34
00:01:17,708 --> 00:01:20,243
I say we watch it again.
35
00:01:20,244 --> 00:01:21,432
Ugh.
36
00:01:21,433 --> 00:01:23,713
Listen, this movie was more
important to African Americans
37
00:01:23,714 --> 00:01:26,849
than "Black Panther."
38
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:30,253
"Radio" was the first black superhero.
39
00:01:30,254 --> 00:01:31,688
No, no.
40
00:01:31,689 --> 00:01:34,891
Mom, they're binge-watching "Radio."
41
00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:37,293
This is child abuse.
42
00:01:37,294 --> 00:01:39,762
If you love us,
you'll send us to bed early.
43
00:01:39,763 --> 00:01:42,198
Okay, go to bed.
44
00:01:42,199 --> 00:01:43,432
Yes!
45
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:46,569
Guys, you don't get it!
They wasn't teaching Radio.
46
00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:49,739
Radio was teaching them!
47
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:51,808
Man, that boy got some nerve.
48
00:01:51,809 --> 00:01:53,543
You would think with his math grades,
49
00:01:53,544 --> 00:01:55,912
Radio was his tutor.
50
00:01:55,913 --> 00:01:58,281
Aww, shucks. So how was the club?
51
00:01:58,282 --> 00:02:01,484
How was the Naughty 40 Club, huh?
52
00:02:01,485 --> 00:02:05,221
Eh, you cougars catch a prey? [GROWLS]
53
00:02:05,222 --> 00:02:08,057
No! Yvette is a terrible wingman.
54
00:02:08,058 --> 00:02:09,759
She's supposed to be helping me.
55
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,762
Instead, she spends the whole
night stalking her ex, Reggie,
56
00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,130
trying to make him jealous.
57
00:02:14,131 --> 00:02:16,733
Well, Ashley, Reggie and I
had a connection.
58
00:02:16,734 --> 00:02:20,136
He had shows on my DVR.
59
00:02:20,137 --> 00:02:22,672
We talked matching Range Rovers.
60
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:24,841
Reggie's the one that got away.
61
00:02:24,842 --> 00:02:27,342
How'd he do it? He gnaw his foot off?
62
00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:31,980
Or he dig his way out
with a spoon like "Shawshank"?
63
00:02:33,116 --> 00:02:35,852
So what happened, Ash?
You get some action, huh?
64
00:02:35,853 --> 00:02:37,320
You get a little bump and grind?
65
00:02:37,321 --> 00:02:38,955
You get some of that dun-dun-dun-dun?
66
00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:41,924
Okay. Okay. You know what, Marlon?
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00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:44,093
What I'm not gonna do
is make a bad night worse
68
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:46,596
by discussing my romantic life
with my ex-husband.
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00:02:46,597 --> 00:02:48,965
Why not? Come on,
we can talk about things.
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00:02:48,966 --> 00:02:49,966
We're friends.
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00:02:49,967 --> 00:02:52,101
Um, do you not remember
72
00:02:52,102 --> 00:02:54,037
that my first date after our divorce,
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00:02:54,038 --> 00:02:56,773
you stalked us,
popped out of the bushes,
74
00:02:56,774 --> 00:02:59,042
and said, "Ahh, hell no!
75
00:02:59,043 --> 00:03:01,978
This is what I wanted you to do."
76
00:03:01,979 --> 00:03:03,880
Ah, girl, that's back
when I wanted to hit it.
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00:03:03,881 --> 00:03:05,615
I'm cool on you now.
78
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:08,551
Look, Ash, if we gonna be
about this cool divorce life,
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00:03:08,552 --> 00:03:10,820
then, you know,
we gotta discuss these things.
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00:03:10,821 --> 00:03:12,989
And by the way,
I've matured since then.
81
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:14,957
Oh, please, Marlon.
82
00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:17,360
I'm the only one
who can hear all the stories
83
00:03:17,361 --> 00:03:19,962
about you dating crazy chicks
without tripping.
84
00:03:19,963 --> 00:03:21,297
Oh, girl, remember the one
85
00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:22,965
that slept upside-down like a bat?
86
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:25,835
[LAUGHTER]
87
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:28,203
Sex with her was a real head rush.
88
00:03:29,605 --> 00:03:32,642
How 'bout the one who had
multiple personalities?
89
00:03:32,643 --> 00:03:35,044
Girl, I had a ménage à trois
with one person.
90
00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:37,713
It was amazing.
91
00:03:37,714 --> 00:03:39,715
My favorite was the one
that said I was a freeloader
92
00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:40,983
living on your couch.
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00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:43,418
BOTH: Negro, you are!
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00:03:45,922 --> 00:03:48,157
Yeah, right.
95
00:03:48,158 --> 00:03:50,893
Okay, none of this matters
because I'm not gonna discuss
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00:03:50,894 --> 00:03:52,361
my romantic life with you.
97
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,230
Ashley, listen,
I'm telling you, I swear,
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00:03:54,231 --> 00:03:56,532
I've grown, okay? And I can prove it.
99
00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,568
I'm gonna be your wingman.
100
00:03:58,569 --> 00:04:00,169
What?
101
00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:02,171
I'm gonna be your wingman.
You said it yourself,
102
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,940
Yvette is a terrible wingman.
103
00:04:03,941 --> 00:04:05,341
Marlon, are you serious?
104
00:04:05,342 --> 00:04:06,909
Yeah, I'm serious,
I'm gonna sit in the cut,
105
00:04:06,910 --> 00:04:08,744
I'm gonna peep your game,
make some tweaks,
106
00:04:08,745 --> 00:04:11,180
and I'm gonna land you a freak.
107
00:04:11,181 --> 00:04:13,683
But I'm not gonna give him
all my secrets.
108
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:17,252
We ain't gonna be like, "No,
she like it counterclockwise."
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00:04:20,456 --> 00:04:23,192
Against my better judgment, all right.
110
00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,027
I'm in, but listen.
111
00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:26,362
The first time you start tripping
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00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:28,030
when I'm talking
to a dude, it's a wrap.
113
00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:30,399
- All right, bet.
- Bet.
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00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,069
All right, this Saturday
we all going to Mantra.
115
00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:34,971
Oh, that club's perfect.
116
00:04:34,972 --> 00:04:37,273
Reggie has a table
in VIP every Saturday
117
00:04:37,274 --> 00:04:39,775
with a clear sight line
for him to see the dudes
118
00:04:39,776 --> 00:04:42,411
all up on a sister.
119
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,046
[CHUCKLES]
120
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,149
You know, I think having
a devilishly handsome man
121
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:47,884
on your arm will
take your jealousy plot
122
00:04:47,885 --> 00:04:49,552
to the next level.
123
00:04:49,553 --> 00:04:51,487
Boy, please, Reggie won't
be jealous if I show up with
124
00:04:51,488 --> 00:04:54,089
your granddaddy-in-the-face
looking ass.
125
00:04:55,825 --> 00:04:58,060
Oh, but wait.
126
00:04:58,061 --> 00:05:01,597
I might be able to flip this house.
127
00:05:01,598 --> 00:05:03,666
Hmm, let's do it.
128
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:05,568
Okay so, Marlon,
129
00:05:05,569 --> 00:05:07,470
you're sure you're cool
being my wingman?
130
00:05:07,471 --> 00:05:09,405
Yeah, I'm sure
I could be your wingman.
131
00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:11,140
My first order of business
is getting you out
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00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:12,608
of that damn pantsuit.
133
00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:14,410
Girl, what you trying to do,
134
00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,645
land a man or win the popular vote?
135
00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:21,017
That suit make me wanna
check your emails.
136
00:05:21,018 --> 00:05:23,252
[LAUGHTER]
137
00:05:25,119 --> 00:05:31,085
[CLUB MUSIC]
138
00:05:31,086 --> 00:05:34,888
All right, let's find some dudes!
139
00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:38,425
Stevie, come on.
140
00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:47,635
I'm sorry, these shoes are
tight and my ankles are cold.
141
00:05:47,636 --> 00:05:51,372
You look like Dr. Ben
Carson's only black friend.
142
00:05:51,373 --> 00:05:52,473
[LAUGHS]
143
00:05:53,141 --> 00:05:56,611
You look like you restore
racist paintings.
144
00:05:56,612 --> 00:05:58,646
[LAUGHS]
145
00:05:58,647 --> 00:06:01,215
You look like the first
black mayor of Oz.
146
00:06:01,216 --> 00:06:02,984
[LAUGHS] All right, come on, let's go.
147
00:06:02,985 --> 00:06:04,252
Let's have a drink.
148
00:06:04,253 --> 00:06:06,321
I believe the Cotton Club is this way.
149
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,923
♪ Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah-dah-dah ♪
150
00:06:08,924 --> 00:06:10,491
Mm. Mm.
151
00:06:10,492 --> 00:06:12,360
- Tanya, hey.
- Hey.
152
00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:15,229
Oh, my gosh,
I didn't know you worked here.
153
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:17,031
Yeah, just a few nights
while I'm in school.
154
00:06:17,032 --> 00:06:19,300
Oh, okay. Marlon, Stevie,
this is Tanya.
155
00:06:19,301 --> 00:06:21,970
She's in spin class with us and
she's getting her masters in...
156
00:06:21,971 --> 00:06:23,471
Occupational therapy.
157
00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:24,839
- Really?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:25,974
You should do your thesis on Stevie.
159
00:06:25,975 --> 00:06:28,276
He's occupationally challenged.
160
00:06:28,277 --> 00:06:30,244
[LAUGHS]
161
00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:32,146
Well, look, let me know
if you need anything,
162
00:06:32,147 --> 00:06:33,314
and I'll hook you up.
163
00:06:33,315 --> 00:06:34,882
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
164
00:06:34,883 --> 00:06:37,352
Ah, we're gonna lose these.
165
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,887
Oh, but I can't see too well.
166
00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:42,357
Now you look like you could catch it.
167
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,792
- Fair trade.
- Mm-hmm.
168
00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:46,927
Let's go.
169
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:51,632
- Ooh, okay, hey, wingman.
- Hmm?
170
00:06:51,633 --> 00:06:53,234
Guy with the beard. He's kinda cute.
171
00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:55,803
Oh, I don't know,
he got too much frontal lobe.
172
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:57,672
Look like Cro-Magnon Man.
173
00:06:57,673 --> 00:06:59,841
Like he still grab girls by the hair,
174
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:01,976
"Come here. Give me your number."
175
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:04,178
But if that's your type,
hey, go for it.
176
00:07:04,179 --> 00:07:06,748
Shoot your shot. I'll peep your game.
177
00:07:06,749 --> 00:07:08,349
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
178
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,385
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What?
179
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:13,388
What's all this bobble head?
Less head more ass.
180
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:14,622
Switch, switch, switch.
181
00:07:14,623 --> 00:07:17,558
[SIGHS]
182
00:07:17,559 --> 00:07:19,627
- Hey.
- Hey.
183
00:07:19,628 --> 00:07:22,797
Hi. Hello.
184
00:07:22,798 --> 00:07:25,198
I'm Ashley.
185
00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:28,903
Hey, I know your face from somewhere.
186
00:07:28,904 --> 00:07:30,705
Have you been in my spin class before?
187
00:07:30,706 --> 00:07:33,074
Nah, I only did spin one time.
188
00:07:33,075 --> 00:07:35,043
I don't like the way
the bicycle seat is shaped.
189
00:07:35,044 --> 00:07:37,478
Something about it, you know,
make me feel some type of way.
190
00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:39,814
Oh, "The Marlon Way."
191
00:07:39,815 --> 00:07:41,716
Oh, my God, I am a huge fan.
192
00:07:41,717 --> 00:07:43,651
- You watch my channel?
- Yes, I do.
193
00:07:43,652 --> 00:07:45,953
- You don't watch my channel.
- Yes, I do.
194
00:07:45,954 --> 00:07:47,655
- What's your favorite video?
- "Rich Kid, Poor Kid."
195
00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:49,023
- What?
- Hands down.
196
00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:51,289
I mean, if you ask me,
it was more like a metaphor
197
00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:54,559
for the growing socioeconomic
disparity in this country.
198
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,794
- It was?
- It was.
199
00:07:56,795 --> 00:07:59,797
Dang, brother's deeper
than he thought.
200
00:07:59,798 --> 00:08:01,032
- Okay.
- Who woke?
201
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:02,934
- BOTH: He woke.
- He woke.
202
00:08:02,935 --> 00:08:06,538
Hello.
203
00:08:06,539 --> 00:08:07,805
And this is Zack.
204
00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:09,607
I was in labor with him for 28 hours.
205
00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:11,476
His head was huge!
206
00:08:11,477 --> 00:08:13,912
Oh, my gosh,
and then his ears got stuck,
207
00:08:13,913 --> 00:08:16,014
and the first epidural
didn't really take.
208
00:08:16,015 --> 00:08:18,316
Uh, I just remembered,
I forgot to take my flu shot.
209
00:08:18,317 --> 00:08:19,651
You know?
- Oh.
210
00:08:19,652 --> 00:08:21,886
Yeah, you better handle that, baby.
211
00:08:21,887 --> 00:08:24,389
Girl, what the hell are you doing?
212
00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:25,957
What? I was shooting my shot.
213
00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:28,726
Ashley, you don't talk
about your kids like that.
214
00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:30,762
He's trying to think
about putting a foot in,
215
00:08:30,763 --> 00:08:32,997
and you telling him
about the foot coming out.
216
00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:34,899
Come on, Ashley, you don't announce
217
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,267
the fact that you got kids.
218
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,202
No, you get him drunk,
you take him home,
219
00:08:38,203 --> 00:08:40,171
you handling your business,
and when he get up
220
00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:41,940
in the middle of the night
to go to the bathroom
221
00:08:41,941 --> 00:08:44,108
and step on a toy, you explain then.
222
00:08:44,109 --> 00:08:47,111
"Oh, I forgot to tell you,
I got kids."
223
00:08:47,112 --> 00:08:49,080
- That's ridiculous.
- No, it's not ridiculous.
224
00:08:49,081 --> 00:08:50,548
There's two things you don't disclose:
225
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:52,050
kids and STDs.
226
00:08:52,051 --> 00:08:54,885
You just let people find out
about those type of things.
227
00:08:56,254 --> 00:09:01,492
Looks like you need a little
more sexy back in the VIP, eh?
228
00:09:01,493 --> 00:09:04,462
Don't you think? Uh-huh.
229
00:09:04,463 --> 00:09:08,099
That's what I'm talking about. Oh!
230
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,734
Rude.
231
00:09:09,735 --> 00:09:12,570
[LAUGHING] Oh, hey, man.
232
00:09:12,571 --> 00:09:14,072
I like your swag.
233
00:09:14,073 --> 00:09:16,975
Yo, how would you like
to hang out in the VIP lounge?
234
00:09:16,976 --> 00:09:21,044
- I'd love to.
- Oh, is this your plus one?
235
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,116
Yes, it is.
236
00:09:25,117 --> 00:09:26,917
Shall we, my dear?
237
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:30,321
Huh, okay.
238
00:09:30,322 --> 00:09:34,058
Oh, so you gonna tell me
all of this ain't VIP?
239
00:09:34,059 --> 00:09:35,627
Wait, oh, oh, oh.
240
00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:38,129
Hey, I'm with him.
Wait, Stevie, Stevie.
241
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:39,931
Wait-ah. Really?
242
00:09:39,932 --> 00:09:42,433
Okay, now that you know the rules,
243
00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:45,103
what's your opening line?
244
00:09:45,104 --> 00:09:47,205
I don't know.
245
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:48,673
What's your five-year plan?
246
00:09:48,674 --> 00:09:50,108
A five-year plan?
247
00:09:50,109 --> 00:09:51,676
What, you trying to make
love or a vision board?
248
00:09:51,677 --> 00:09:54,145
Look, Ashley, watch.
249
00:09:54,146 --> 00:09:56,214
Now see that pretty girl right there?
250
00:09:56,215 --> 00:09:58,249
The one dressed like
a grown Puerto Rican baby?
251
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,551
Mm-hmm.
252
00:10:00,552 --> 00:10:02,320
Watch and learn.
253
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:08,026
♪
254
00:10:08,027 --> 00:10:09,293
Yo.
255
00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:11,062
If you wanna take me home later,
256
00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:14,131
we just gotta stop and get mice
for my pet eagle.
257
00:10:17,802 --> 00:10:20,705
[CAWS]
258
00:10:20,706 --> 00:10:22,807
You just love crazy, don't you?
259
00:10:22,808 --> 00:10:24,776
Eagle's gotta eat, Ash.
260
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:26,944
[LAUGHS] All right, look.
261
00:10:26,945 --> 00:10:29,080
You see that brother
right there in the blue shirt?
262
00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:31,349
- Mm-hmm.
- Try it.
263
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,117
- Okay?
- Yeah.
264
00:10:33,118 --> 00:10:35,385
- You got this.
- Okay.
265
00:10:41,592 --> 00:10:43,927
Yo.
266
00:10:47,265 --> 00:10:50,134
Well, well, looks like
you're a pretty good wingman.
267
00:10:50,135 --> 00:10:51,269
I try.
268
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:52,870
Maybe you could wingman for me.
269
00:10:52,871 --> 00:10:57,341
You see, there's this really
hot guy at the bar right now.
270
00:10:57,342 --> 00:11:01,546
- Girl, he is fine as hell.
- Yeah, he is fine.
271
00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:03,748
Just one thing, I don't...
272
00:11:03,749 --> 00:11:05,483
I don't know if I'm his type.
273
00:11:05,484 --> 00:11:07,485
I don't own a pet eagle.
274
00:11:07,486 --> 00:11:10,955
- Mm, that's a red flag.
- Yeah, I thought so.
275
00:11:10,956 --> 00:11:13,391
'Cause a girl that owns
a pet that she can't pet
276
00:11:13,392 --> 00:11:15,326
usually means she's
a freak in the sheets.
277
00:11:15,327 --> 00:11:17,862
Yeah, well, I do have a puma though.
278
00:11:17,863 --> 00:11:18,963
Does that count?
279
00:11:18,964 --> 00:11:20,998
- A puma?
- A puma.
280
00:11:20,999 --> 00:11:23,101
[HISSES] Yeah.
281
00:11:23,102 --> 00:11:25,036
[LAUGHTER]
282
00:11:25,037 --> 00:11:26,871
I am going on a break
in a few minutes.
283
00:11:26,872 --> 00:11:29,207
So would you like
to join me for a drink?
284
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:31,509
Does a puma have spots?
285
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:32,977
[LAUGHS]
286
00:11:32,978 --> 00:11:35,313
Oh, okay, for the sake
of this witty banter,
287
00:11:35,314 --> 00:11:37,215
let's assume pumas have spots.
288
00:11:37,216 --> 00:11:39,984
Yeah, let's do that.
All right, I'll see you later.
289
00:11:39,985 --> 00:11:41,652
Pumas don't have spots, right?
290
00:11:41,653 --> 00:11:44,422
- No.
- Okay.
291
00:11:44,423 --> 00:11:45,923
Marlon, it worked.
292
00:11:45,924 --> 00:11:48,092
Gerard invited me to sit at his table.
293
00:11:48,093 --> 00:11:49,694
What are wingmen for?
294
00:11:49,695 --> 00:11:52,296
You know, I gotta say,
I'm very impressed
295
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:54,198
with your emotional maturity tonight.
296
00:11:54,199 --> 00:11:55,767
I underestimated you.
297
00:11:55,768 --> 00:11:59,370
So what, off to Petco
with eagle chick?
298
00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:02,073
Nah, I'm gonna go
have a drink with Tanya.
299
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,841
- Tanya?
- Mm-hmm.
300
00:12:03,842 --> 00:12:05,409
Tanya, Tanya?
301
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:08,479
With goals and dreams
and no daddy issues Tanya?
302
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,615
Yeah, Tanya.
303
00:12:10,616 --> 00:12:12,984
- Hi.
- Hey.
304
00:12:12,985 --> 00:12:15,052
So cute. She's actually really cool.
305
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:16,587
I think we're vibing.
306
00:12:16,588 --> 00:12:18,289
- Vibing.
- Mm-hmm.
307
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:21,692
With Tanya. Huh.
308
00:12:21,693 --> 00:12:23,661
Okay, buddy, see you later.
309
00:12:23,662 --> 00:12:25,896
Bye, pal.
310
00:12:27,231 --> 00:12:28,833
Hey.
311
00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:31,167
Ah, hell no.
312
00:12:36,807 --> 00:12:38,121
[LAUGHTER]
313
00:12:38,122 --> 00:12:39,356
What are they laughing at?
314
00:12:39,357 --> 00:12:41,925
He is not that funny.
315
00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:44,027
- Ashley.
- Huh? What?
316
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:45,862
I'm sorry, what were you saying?
317
00:12:45,863 --> 00:12:48,130
- I was asking if you had kids.
- I have two.
318
00:12:49,566 --> 00:12:52,435
Really? We're touching arms now?
319
00:12:52,436 --> 00:12:54,704
Uh, you know what,
320
00:12:54,705 --> 00:12:57,173
I feel like it's very selfish of us
321
00:12:57,174 --> 00:12:59,442
to drink all this champagne
by ourselves.
322
00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:01,144
Mm-hmm, we should share it.
323
00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:03,280
- Really? Because I'm kind of...
- Let's go, Gerard!
324
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,248
Um, okay.
325
00:13:05,249 --> 00:13:07,050
I mean, they weren't teaching Radio.
326
00:13:07,051 --> 00:13:09,119
BOTH: Radio was teaching them!
327
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,822
Ahhhh! [LAUGHS]
328
00:13:12,823 --> 00:13:16,092
Yes! Cuba Gooding Jr.
329
00:13:16,093 --> 00:13:17,460
I like "Boat Trip."
330
00:13:17,461 --> 00:13:20,864
So, um, we have champagne.
331
00:13:20,865 --> 00:13:23,400
What's-his-face got some, and
I thought we should share it.
332
00:13:23,401 --> 00:13:25,335
So what are we talking about?
333
00:13:25,336 --> 00:13:27,671
Well, I've just been
trying to recruit Marlon here
334
00:13:27,672 --> 00:13:28,972
to take a spin class.
335
00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:30,740
Oh, see, Marlon can't spin.
336
00:13:30,741 --> 00:13:32,475
Yeah, he sweats too much.
337
00:13:32,476 --> 00:13:34,544
See, the sweat and the hair pomade,
338
00:13:34,545 --> 00:13:36,279
they mix together,
and when he's on top,
339
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,814
it drips in your eyes and it burns.
340
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:39,182
You have to wear goggles.
341
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:40,050
Oh.
342
00:13:40,051 --> 00:13:41,718
You said what now?
343
00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:43,253
Well, sweating is great for you.
344
00:13:43,254 --> 00:13:45,588
It releases toxins
and promotes circulation.
345
00:13:45,589 --> 00:13:47,424
So probably explains
why Marlon looks so young.
346
00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:51,528
Oh, I guess we solved that
little mystery, now didn't we?
347
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:52,996
We did.
348
00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:54,850
You know, spin's also
a great calorie burner.
349
00:13:54,851 --> 00:13:56,452
Are you with me or are you with her?
350
00:13:56,453 --> 00:13:58,721
I'm with you.
351
00:13:58,722 --> 00:14:03,596
Oh, so, um, who has
any particularly disgusting
352
00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:05,431
habits we can talk about?
353
00:14:05,432 --> 00:14:07,100
Oh, I know, Marlon.
354
00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:09,903
He likes to cut his toenails
with a steak knife.
355
00:14:09,904 --> 00:14:11,204
Isn't that nasty?
356
00:14:11,205 --> 00:14:12,839
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]
357
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,776
Not when you keep it to yourself.
358
00:14:15,777 --> 00:14:17,477
Well, I can't judge,
359
00:14:17,478 --> 00:14:21,081
because I bite mine
and smell 'em too, so...
360
00:14:21,082 --> 00:14:23,049
Oh, my God, you're a sniffer?
361
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,685
- I am.
- I'm a sniffer too!
362
00:14:25,686 --> 00:14:28,321
[LAUGHTER]
363
00:14:28,322 --> 00:14:31,958
Ashley, you know, at first,
I didn't know what to think.
364
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:33,427
I thought you was, like, hating,
365
00:14:33,428 --> 00:14:37,764
but now I realize,
I wasn't wingmaning for you.
366
00:14:37,765 --> 00:14:41,168
You was wingmaning for me.
367
00:14:41,169 --> 00:14:43,170
You just Radio'd this whole thing.
368
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:44,504
Ohh.
369
00:14:44,505 --> 00:14:47,206
[CHUCKLES WEAKLY] Ah, yeah.
370
00:14:53,747 --> 00:14:56,483
Where the hell you been,
Puff the Magic Afro?
371
00:14:56,484 --> 00:14:59,252
I've been waiting here
all night for your ass.
372
00:14:59,253 --> 00:15:01,655
You gotta get me in the lounge
before Reggie leaves.
373
00:15:01,656 --> 00:15:03,423
I can't, I got kicked out.
374
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:06,693
Allegedly I knocked over
$4,000 worth of drinks
375
00:15:06,694 --> 00:15:08,795
with this cane.
376
00:15:08,796 --> 00:15:09,901
Crazy, right?
377
00:15:09,902 --> 00:15:11,932
Well, how am I supposed
to make Reggie jealous
378
00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:13,133
if I can't get in there?
379
00:15:13,134 --> 00:15:14,935
Well, if Reggie is still bald,
380
00:15:14,936 --> 00:15:16,436
he's walking out of VIP right now.
381
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,672
Okay, how do we make him jealous?
382
00:15:18,673 --> 00:15:19,873
I think the quickest way
383
00:15:19,874 --> 00:15:22,575
would be for you and I to just...
384
00:15:25,111 --> 00:15:28,248
I was gonna say, "Look like
we're in a deep conversation,"
385
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,050
but that totally works too.
386
00:15:30,051 --> 00:15:32,752
My God, that's not Reggie!
387
00:15:32,753 --> 00:15:34,354
- I thought it was.
- God!
388
00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,156
If I'm being honest, I always
thought I was near-sighted,
389
00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:38,692
but I'm beginning to suspect
I might be legally blind.
390
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:39,993
Oh, my God.
391
00:15:39,994 --> 00:15:41,561
Can I have my glasses back, please?
392
00:15:41,562 --> 00:15:43,230
You want your glasses.
393
00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:45,031
[LAUGHS]
394
00:15:45,032 --> 00:15:46,766
[GLASS CRACKS] Fetch.
395
00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:50,370
Did you just throw something?
396
00:15:50,371 --> 00:15:51,771
Yes, cheers.
397
00:15:51,772 --> 00:15:53,073
Easy, Marlon.
398
00:15:53,074 --> 00:15:54,674
You know when you drink
too much champagne,
399
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:57,310
you piss the bed.
400
00:15:57,311 --> 00:15:59,179
[LAUGHTER]
401
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:00,580
You do that too?
402
00:16:00,581 --> 00:16:02,415
N-no.
403
00:16:02,416 --> 00:16:03,984
No? Ha!
404
00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:05,785
[LAUGHS]
405
00:16:05,786 --> 00:16:08,021
She don't do that. Hey, Ashley,
406
00:16:08,022 --> 00:16:10,891
let me holler at you right quick, huh?
407
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:12,692
Girl, what is wrong with you?
408
00:16:12,693 --> 00:16:14,160
Why you acting out of pocket?
409
00:16:14,161 --> 00:16:15,996
I am the corner pocket.
410
00:16:15,997 --> 00:16:18,798
You're the one who begged
to be my wingman,
411
00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:21,401
and now you're bailing on me.
Not cool, Marlon.
412
00:16:21,402 --> 00:16:22,936
But I've been a great wingman.
413
00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,438
Look, Ash, we landed the plane, okay?
414
00:16:25,439 --> 00:16:27,207
You are on your way to baggage claim.
415
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:30,510
Gerard is sitting there holding
a sign with your name on it.
416
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:35,682
Hop on his long, black
limousine and enjoy the ride.
417
00:16:35,683 --> 00:16:38,585
I'm surprised you even noticed him,
418
00:16:38,586 --> 00:16:41,321
you're so busy kiki-ing
with your little friend.
419
00:16:41,322 --> 00:16:44,157
[CHUCKLES] My little friend?
420
00:16:44,158 --> 00:16:46,993
Wow. You're jealous.
421
00:16:46,994 --> 00:16:48,628
Oh, please!
422
00:16:48,629 --> 00:16:51,898
I'm jealous of a grown woman
wearing a body-con dress
423
00:16:51,899 --> 00:16:54,734
and high-top sneakers
like we at a high school dance.
424
00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:57,037
Wow!
425
00:16:57,038 --> 00:16:59,272
Did you just take three shots at her?
426
00:16:59,273 --> 00:17:00,140
Pow-pow-pow-pow?
427
00:17:00,141 --> 00:17:03,577
Wow, you are jealous.
428
00:17:03,578 --> 00:17:05,745
Ashley, are you okay?
429
00:17:05,746 --> 00:17:07,781
Girl...
430
00:17:07,782 --> 00:17:09,349
I'ma be okay,
431
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:12,385
as soon as I can talk to
the father of my two children
432
00:17:12,386 --> 00:17:13,820
without some bartender
433
00:17:13,821 --> 00:17:17,591
rolling her ass all up in my business.
434
00:17:17,592 --> 00:17:20,293
Ohhh!
435
00:17:20,294 --> 00:17:22,028
Oh-oh!
436
00:17:22,029 --> 00:17:23,530
Ohhh!
437
00:17:23,531 --> 00:17:24,864
You gonna take that?
438
00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:26,800
Ooh, that's light-on-light crime.
439
00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:29,069
- Sweetie, calm down.
- Sweetie?
440
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:32,272
Did you just touch me?
441
00:17:32,273 --> 00:17:34,574
Did this bitch just touch me?
442
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,743
- Whoa.
- Coo-coo!
443
00:17:36,744 --> 00:17:38,645
Whoa-ohhh!
444
00:17:38,646 --> 00:17:39,646
Did she?
445
00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:41,147
Because inquiring minds
446
00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:42,515
sure as hell want to know.
447
00:17:42,516 --> 00:17:44,784
Don't get me to clap on you.
448
00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,453
You don't want her to start clapping.
449
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:49,522
BOTH: 'Cause we will encore your ass!
450
00:17:49,523 --> 00:17:51,625
- What you wanna do?
- I'ma get the top.
451
00:17:51,626 --> 00:17:53,560
Okay, I'll get the bottom.
Let's go. Let's go.
452
00:17:53,561 --> 00:17:55,795
Wait, wait, ladies, ladies, ladies!
453
00:17:55,796 --> 00:17:57,664
You cannot do this...
454
00:17:57,665 --> 00:17:59,866
until I get my phone out. Hold on.
455
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,701
Marlon, you better
get your little friend
456
00:18:01,702 --> 00:18:05,338
before I cash that check,
'cause that's EBT all day.
457
00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:07,374
Wait a minute. Oh, no, you didn't.
458
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,809
Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on.
459
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:12,812
You called your boys on me?
Is that what you did?
460
00:18:12,813 --> 00:18:14,681
That's what I wanted you to do!
461
00:18:14,682 --> 00:18:16,349
Hey, hey, I'm gonna
see your ass in spin class!
462
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,084
Yvette, get my purse! I got you!
463
00:18:18,085 --> 00:18:20,320
We coming for you!
We're coming for you!
464
00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:22,956
Hey, Gerry, thanks
for the champagne, brother.
465
00:18:22,957 --> 00:18:26,325
WorldStar! WorldStar!
466
00:18:28,161 --> 00:18:30,664
I wish I coulda seen that.
467
00:18:30,665 --> 00:18:33,532
Marlon? Oh, there you are.
468
00:18:36,968 --> 00:18:39,914
[LAUGHING]
469
00:18:39,915 --> 00:18:41,875
What grown-ass woman
470
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,144
gets kicked out of a nightclub?
471
00:18:44,145 --> 00:18:45,311
[LAUGHS]
472
00:18:45,312 --> 00:18:47,547
Oh, my God, wait till I tell Zack
473
00:18:47,548 --> 00:18:50,784
his mamma is ratchet.
474
00:18:50,785 --> 00:18:53,253
Oh, he gonna be so proud.
475
00:18:53,254 --> 00:18:55,989
Marlon, you do not have to rub it in.
476
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:58,291
You know, for the first time
in 17 years,
477
00:18:58,292 --> 00:19:00,894
I'm not the crazy one
in this relationship.
478
00:19:00,895 --> 00:19:02,796
[LAUGHS]
479
00:19:02,797 --> 00:19:05,999
Girl, this feels good.
480
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,636
Okay, fine, perhaps
I'm not as mature as I thought.
481
00:19:09,637 --> 00:19:11,070
Perhaps?
482
00:19:11,071 --> 00:19:15,475
Girl, you got over 3 million
views Shade Room.
483
00:19:15,476 --> 00:19:18,244
Con-ratch-ulations.
484
00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:20,013
Ashley, come on, man. What happened?
485
00:19:20,014 --> 00:19:21,748
I mean, you've been cool
with me dating girls
486
00:19:21,749 --> 00:19:23,183
since we split.
487
00:19:23,184 --> 00:19:26,119
Yeah, that's because
they've all been crazy chicks.
488
00:19:27,454 --> 00:19:30,490
You know, when I saw you
vibing with Tanya,
489
00:19:30,491 --> 00:19:32,859
I don't know, it seemed significant.
490
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:34,994
And for the past 17 years,
491
00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:39,132
I've been the significant
woman in your life.
492
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:41,034
I got jealous, Marlon, okay?
493
00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:42,702
I'm embarrassed.
494
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,971
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.
495
00:19:44,972 --> 00:19:46,339
It's okay.
496
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:50,643
You will always be significant to me.
497
00:19:50,644 --> 00:19:54,314
I mean, look, this whole
thing is new for us, okay?
498
00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:56,883
We're gonna figure it out,
and it's gonna take some time.
499
00:19:56,884 --> 00:20:00,520
And sometimes you gonna go
a little baby mama on 'em.
500
00:20:00,521 --> 00:20:03,056
[BOTH LAUGH]
501
00:20:03,057 --> 00:20:05,725
But you can do that. You know why?
502
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,360
I got you.
503
00:20:07,361 --> 00:20:08,228
Really?
504
00:20:08,229 --> 00:20:09,562
Yes, I got you.
505
00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:12,031
I'm not just your wingman in a club.
506
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:14,033
I'm your wingman for life.
507
00:20:17,137 --> 00:20:18,705
Wanna beat?
- No.
508
00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:20,139
Okay.
509
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:23,209
So you gonna see Tanya again?
510
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:25,011
What do you think?
You told her I'm a squirter.
511
00:20:25,012 --> 00:20:26,379
I don't think so.
512
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:28,181
[LAUGHS]
513
00:20:28,182 --> 00:20:30,416
You know what,
she's not your type anyway.
514
00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:33,152
Clearly you like crazy chicks
who start fights in clubs
515
00:20:33,153 --> 00:20:36,489
with perfectly pleasant people
that they met at spin class.
516
00:20:38,592 --> 00:20:41,494
Hey, so how'd it go?
Did you make Reggie jealous?
517
00:20:41,495 --> 00:20:44,063
No, I saw on Instagram
he never even made it
518
00:20:44,064 --> 00:20:46,099
to the club tonight,
and I went and kissed
519
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,701
Mr. Cornball on the Cob
here for nothing.
520
00:20:51,038 --> 00:20:52,572
Tonight sucked.
521
00:20:52,573 --> 00:20:55,775
Well, I know something
that'll cheer you up.
522
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,043
Do not say...
523
00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:59,612
BOTH: "Radio!"
524
00:20:59,613 --> 00:21:03,283
Oh, this movie gets
better and better with age.
525
00:21:03,284 --> 00:21:06,719
It's the Angela Bassett of movies.
526
00:21:08,307 --> 00:21:14,472
Subtitle sync and corrections by
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