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♪
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00:00:23,814 --> 00:00:25,847
Narrator: They say
the key to success
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00:00:25,849 --> 00:00:27,783
is to look
into the future
4
00:00:27,785 --> 00:00:30,788
and visualize what you
want to become.
5
00:00:32,656 --> 00:00:35,590
But some creatures are perfect
just the way they are,
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00:00:35,592 --> 00:00:37,191
even if no one
knows it yet.
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00:00:37,193 --> 00:00:42,400
♪
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00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:46,000
Your name
is Veronica.
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00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,038
It's nice to meet you,
Veronica.
10
00:00:50,206 --> 00:00:52,441
Sarah: Is that Irene
in the dumpster?
11
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,176
Robbie:
She's so weird.
12
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:56,143
Narrator: This is
Irene Willis.
13
00:00:56,145 --> 00:00:58,679
She's fifteen years old
and lives in Canada,
14
00:00:58,681 --> 00:01:01,482
which is the country Thelma
and Louise would be living in
15
00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:03,920
if they decided
to drive North.
16
00:01:04,221 --> 00:01:07,054
Irene Willis lives
in Parc, Ontario,
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00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:10,024
the most insignificant
geographical location
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00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,092
in North America.
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00:01:12,094 --> 00:01:14,562
Just one hour
north of Toronto.
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00:01:14,564 --> 00:01:16,964
Close enough to know
what you're missing,
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00:01:16,966 --> 00:01:19,835
but far enough
to never get there.
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It was no fluke that the local
high school was built
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00:01:22,672 --> 00:01:25,240
right next to
the local retirement home,
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00:01:25,242 --> 00:01:28,976
which was built right beside
the local funeral home.
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00:01:28,978 --> 00:01:32,516
That's because the people
who live in Parc are lazy.
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00:01:33,883 --> 00:01:36,017
I wish I could
be like you.
27
00:01:36,019 --> 00:01:38,889
You get to grow wings and
fly away from this town.
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00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:43,124
Narrator: Parc, Ontario is also
the 'shitty plaza' capital
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of the world.
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If you want to find a place
where no one would want to shop,
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00:01:48,665 --> 00:01:51,068
you'll find it
right here in town.
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Veronica, girls like us
need to stick together.
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Lydia: Flush it.
34
00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:05,145
Goodbye, Veronica.
35
00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:08,649
[flushing]
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00:02:08,651 --> 00:02:11,552
Narrator: Irene's mom, Lydia,
is the type of mother
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00:02:11,554 --> 00:02:15,056
who makes her daughter
murder her only friend.
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00:02:15,058 --> 00:02:16,658
But she wasn't always
like this.
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00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,260
Kick! Kick!
40
00:02:18,262 --> 00:02:21,663
Sixteen years ago, Lydia Willis
was captain of the cheer squad
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00:02:21,665 --> 00:02:26,166
at Parc High, but it got
her into a bit of trouble.
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00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:29,170
One little incident involving a
lack of birth control
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00:02:29,172 --> 00:02:32,073
and nine months later,
little Irene was pushed out
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into a world that...
it would seem...
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would never
accept her.
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00:02:37,581 --> 00:02:40,949
Lydia knows first hand
how mean kids can be,
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00:02:40,951 --> 00:02:44,885
so she takes overprotection
to the next level.
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Irene is not allowed
to watch T.V.,
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00:02:47,224 --> 00:02:50,761
surf the internet,
or even own a cell phone.
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00:02:52,095 --> 00:02:56,331
This girl isn't just unpopular,
she's the biggest loser in all
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00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:59,301
of Parc's
teenaged history.
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00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:01,869
Cheerleader:
And 5, 6, 7, 8.
53
00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:05,606
Step-touch, step-touch.
And up, and up.
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00:03:05,608 --> 00:03:07,041
Narrator: But this year
at school,
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00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,777
things are going
to be different.
56
00:03:08,779 --> 00:03:11,345
Shake left, again.
Step-touch, step...
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00:03:11,347 --> 00:03:12,782
Screw Mom.
58
00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:18,018
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader!
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00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,121
[slurping]
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00:03:20,123 --> 00:03:25,129
♪
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00:03:37,975 --> 00:03:40,374
♪ Something in the room
that catches my eye ♪
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00:03:40,376 --> 00:03:42,978
♪ The shadow of a lover
goes dancing by ♪
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00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:45,980
♪ Looking for a little bit
of love to grow, so ♪
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00:03:45,982 --> 00:03:48,383
♪ Give me love,
give me heart and soul ♪
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00:03:48,385 --> 00:03:51,619
♪ You never let me cross
to the other side, now ♪
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00:03:51,621 --> 00:03:54,222
♪ I'm tied to the hope
that you will somehow ♪
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00:03:54,224 --> 00:03:56,624
♪ Hard on the heels
of something more ♪
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00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:59,027
♪ But I lost your love,
heart and soul ♪
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00:03:59,029 --> 00:04:02,029
♪ The tear in my heart
as you walk on by ♪
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00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:04,832
♪ I feel so low
and your head is high ♪
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00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,867
♪ Everything you do
convinces me more ♪
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00:04:06,869 --> 00:04:09,671
♪ Please, give me love,
give me heart and soul ♪
73
00:04:09,673 --> 00:04:12,272
♪ Looking to the day
when I saw your face ♪
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00:04:12,274 --> 00:04:15,276
♪ I wasn't in the running,
I wasn't in the race ♪
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00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:18,078
♪ You moved in a way
that I've known before ♪
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00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:21,750
♪ Now I want your love,
heart and soul ♪
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00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:24,284
♪ Leaving you ain't
easy now ♪
78
00:04:24,286 --> 00:04:26,955
♪ Loving you's
the harder part ♪
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00:04:26,957 --> 00:04:29,423
♪ You never want me
for myself ♪
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00:04:29,425 --> 00:04:34,229
♪ Now I've needed you
right from the very start ♪
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00:04:34,231 --> 00:04:37,332
♪ Oh won't you
even try to ♪
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00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:39,933
♪ Give a little bit
of heart and soul ♪
83
00:04:39,935 --> 00:04:42,337
♪ Give a little bit
of love to grow ♪
84
00:04:42,339 --> 00:04:44,938
♪ Give a little bit
of heart and soul ♪
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00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:48,043
♪ And don't you make me
beg for more ♪
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00:04:48,045 --> 00:04:51,680
♪ Give a sign
I need to know ♪
87
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:53,882
♪ A little bit
of heart and soul ♪
88
00:04:53,884 --> 00:04:56,887
♪
89
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,921
♪ Walking on the water,
walking on the air ♪
90
00:05:00,923 --> 00:05:03,724
♪ That was the heart
of the love we shared ♪
91
00:05:03,726 --> 00:05:06,094
♪ Do you keep secret
left untold ♪
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00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:08,096
♪ Can't give love,
heart or soul ♪
93
00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:11,132
♪ I used to have a lover
with a Midas touch ♪
94
00:05:11,134 --> 00:05:13,935
♪ I turned to gold,
but he turned to dust ♪
95
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:15,806
Irene:
I'm gonna do it, Geena.
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00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,606
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader!
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00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:20,140
Geena: You know what else
you're going to do this year?
98
00:05:20,142 --> 00:05:20,942
What?
99
00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:21,943
Geena: You're
going to date a jock.
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00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:23,344
Irene: But the only girls
who date jocks
101
00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:25,113
are popular
and in style.
102
00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:26,113
That's not me.
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00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:27,481
Geena: You're
a trailblazer
104
00:05:27,483 --> 00:05:29,918
and trailblazers
have never been in style.
105
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,053
They walk their own path
and then others follow.
106
00:05:33,055 --> 00:05:36,291
When I was your age, I was so
self-conscious about my height.
107
00:05:36,293 --> 00:05:38,058
I wanted
to hide.
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00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,128
Good thing
I didn't hide, right?
109
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:40,962
Yeah.
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00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:43,968
♪
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00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,866
Geena: In the world
Irene exists in,
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00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:48,770
I, Geena Davis,
am God.
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00:05:48,772 --> 00:05:52,207
And as her god, I have only
one commandment:
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Thou shalt
not quit!
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[alarm buzzing]
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♪
117
00:06:03,385 --> 00:06:06,020
[alarm ringing]
118
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:07,888
♪
119
00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:10,090
♪ The door was closed,
but never locked ♪
120
00:06:10,092 --> 00:06:16,798
♪ I was too afraid
to wander far from you ♪
121
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,299
♪ You had a rope
tied to my heart ♪
122
00:06:19,301 --> 00:06:26,207
♪ Go anywhere
and I would follow too ♪
123
00:06:26,209 --> 00:06:29,144
♪ But time to change,
doin' fine ♪
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00:06:29,146 --> 00:06:35,483
♪ I do what
I want to do ♪
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00:06:35,485 --> 00:06:44,793
♪ Standing tall like I should
I got a new point of view ♪
126
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:48,462
♪ I found my rhythm
when you cut me loose ♪
127
00:06:48,464 --> 00:06:53,902
♪ Got a chip on my shoulder,
got a lot to prove ♪
128
00:06:53,904 --> 00:06:58,072
♪ I found my rhythm
when you cut me loose ♪
129
00:06:58,074 --> 00:07:03,178
♪ Right or wrong,
I got the right to choose ♪
130
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:05,412
♪ Stop calling ♪
131
00:07:05,414 --> 00:07:07,882
♪ Stop begging ♪
132
00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:10,321
♪ Stop... ♪
133
00:07:13,356 --> 00:07:15,190
Principal on P.A.:
Good moring, Parc Secondary,
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This is Principal
Firestone
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and these are your
morning announcements:
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00:07:19,529 --> 00:07:21,462
Welcome to
the first day of school.
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00:07:21,464 --> 00:07:24,769
New students, please check in
to the auditorium...
138
00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:27,937
Sarah: What is she
wearing?
139
00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:35,142
[chuckling]
140
00:07:35,144 --> 00:07:36,947
Robbie:
What the hell is that?
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00:07:38,447 --> 00:07:40,317
Are you a boy
or a girl?
142
00:07:42,017 --> 00:07:44,484
If gender were a country,
I'd be Switzerland.
143
00:07:44,486 --> 00:07:45,385
Oh.
144
00:07:45,387 --> 00:07:46,955
Do you ski?
145
00:07:46,957 --> 00:07:48,291
[chuckles]
146
00:07:51,161 --> 00:07:53,361
This town is pretty stale,
isn't it?
147
00:07:53,363 --> 00:07:56,363
Yeah, flies lay their eggs in it
so their maggot children
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00:07:56,365 --> 00:07:58,399
can fly away
and have a better future.
149
00:07:58,401 --> 00:08:02,236
Okay, you're insane...
but I love your statement.
150
00:08:02,238 --> 00:08:04,339
Uh-what statement?
151
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:07,274
Your anti-establishment
cheerleading statement!
152
00:08:07,276 --> 00:08:09,277
It's so subversive
and punk.
153
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,245
[giggling]
154
00:08:10,247 --> 00:08:11,912
I'm not punk.
155
00:08:11,914 --> 00:08:15,315
You as a cheerleader
is punk.
156
00:08:15,317 --> 00:08:16,584
You realize that,
right?
157
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:19,354
No, I'm a regular
cheerleader.
158
00:08:19,356 --> 00:08:20,222
[chuckles]
159
00:08:20,224 --> 00:08:22,356
Tesh: My name is Tesh,
by the way.
160
00:08:22,358 --> 00:08:24,592
[bell ringing]
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00:08:24,594 --> 00:08:27,294
[glugging]
162
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:28,996
Teacher: Ah, okay.
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00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:36,971
♪
164
00:08:36,973 --> 00:08:39,106
Kelly: Okay,
cheerleaders, listen up.
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00:08:39,108 --> 00:08:41,476
We have to focus
on cheers this year.
166
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:44,578
I know you guys are single
and ditch the homework.
167
00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:47,148
We are atheltes, we have to
take ourselves seriously,
168
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:48,482
okay you guys?
169
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:50,385
Okay, come on.
170
00:08:50,387 --> 00:08:52,386
Now lose the poms,
let's try a pyramid.
171
00:08:52,388 --> 00:08:54,489
Girls, you just watch,
okay?
172
00:08:54,491 --> 00:08:55,923
This is
how it's done.
173
00:08:55,925 --> 00:08:57,925
Whatever you do,
don't let your hands slip.
174
00:08:57,927 --> 00:08:59,126
A cheerleader
two years ago
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00:08:59,128 --> 00:09:00,561
got accidentally
vaginally penetrated.
176
00:09:00,563 --> 00:09:02,963
Oh my god, that must've
hurt like a bitch!
177
00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:03,965
No, she
liked it.
178
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:05,100
So, please,
be careful.
179
00:09:05,102 --> 00:09:07,168
The last thing you need
is to inadvertently discover
180
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,169
that you like being fisted
by another cheerleader
181
00:09:09,171 --> 00:09:10,972
during your last year
of high school.
182
00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:12,243
Like I did.
183
00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:16,577
Steady.
184
00:09:16,579 --> 00:09:17,678
Strong arms,
strong arms!
185
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:18,513
Steady!
186
00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:19,380
[screaming]
187
00:09:19,382 --> 00:09:20,648
[gasping]
188
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:24,421
Uh, is everyone's
vagina okay?
189
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,020
Sarah: What happened
to your uniform?
190
00:09:27,022 --> 00:09:28,689
Why'd you
cover it up?
191
00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:31,558
I... just, um...
192
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,428
Well, it's amazing.
193
00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:36,029
I think it's really
commendable for a girl like you
194
00:09:36,031 --> 00:09:38,368
to not worry about
embarrassing herself.
195
00:09:41,103 --> 00:09:42,236
What are you
looking at?
196
00:09:42,238 --> 00:09:44,338
Irene: They're skipping
the first day of school
197
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,975
to practice
a cheer.
198
00:09:46,608 --> 00:09:48,311
I wish I could
do that.
199
00:09:49,179 --> 00:09:50,678
They're all bitches.
200
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,614
Maybe they're just
ambitious and misunderstood.
201
00:09:53,616 --> 00:09:55,582
Like most bitches.
202
00:09:55,584 --> 00:09:58,186
Do you want to
try out for cheer squad?
203
00:09:58,188 --> 00:10:00,254
I have an in
if you want it.
204
00:10:00,256 --> 00:10:01,621
It's today though.
205
00:10:01,623 --> 00:10:04,158
It's sort of
an initiation thing.
206
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,659
What do
I have to do?
207
00:10:05,661 --> 00:10:06,593
Today.
208
00:10:06,595 --> 00:10:08,228
After school.
209
00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:10,398
Boys' Locker room.
210
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,000
Boys' locker room?
211
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:12,733
Don't worry.
212
00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:15,436
It's just a...
DNA thing.
213
00:10:15,438 --> 00:10:17,572
[bell rings]
214
00:10:17,574 --> 00:10:19,006
I'll be there.
215
00:10:19,008 --> 00:10:20,574
And take off
the hoodie.
216
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,712
You should be proud
of who you are.
217
00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:27,184
♪
218
00:10:30,619 --> 00:10:32,720
Robbie: I'm totally rocking
a boner right now.
219
00:10:32,722 --> 00:10:33,654
Ugh!
220
00:10:33,656 --> 00:10:35,055
I don't
do your boner.
221
00:10:35,057 --> 00:10:35,655
You know that.
222
00:10:35,657 --> 00:10:37,692
I have standards.
223
00:10:37,694 --> 00:10:39,296
But I'm
your boyfriend.
224
00:10:40,497 --> 00:10:41,163
Fine.
225
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:43,130
Whip it out,
let me see.
226
00:10:43,132 --> 00:10:46,233
Is it a polish sausage
or a veggie dog?
227
00:10:46,235 --> 00:10:48,204
It's a Polish
sausage.
228
00:10:49,272 --> 00:10:51,239
Oh, I forgot.
229
00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,406
I'm a vegetarian.
230
00:10:52,408 --> 00:10:53,007
[door opening]
231
00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:55,044
Okay,
what's the plan?
232
00:10:55,778 --> 00:10:58,612
If you wanna be a cheerleader,
you need to familiarize yourself
233
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:01,415
with getting the DNA
of all the boys in our school
234
00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:04,385
in your mouth.
235
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,353
Where are
the cheerleaders?
236
00:11:06,355 --> 00:11:08,389
They don't operate
on this level.
237
00:11:08,391 --> 00:11:11,425
This is to weed out all the
ones without cheer spirit.
238
00:11:11,427 --> 00:11:14,127
Does anyone have any
objections to me taping this?
239
00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:17,331
The squad's
requested a recording.
240
00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:18,566
No?
241
00:11:18,568 --> 00:11:21,803
Robbie, start recording.
242
00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:25,405
Today, to prove
you have cheer spirit,
243
00:11:25,407 --> 00:11:29,079
you will lick
the shower floor.
244
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,145
But we could
get athlete's foot!
245
00:11:32,147 --> 00:11:33,414
In our mouths.
246
00:11:33,416 --> 00:11:35,515
Sarah: Athlete's foot
is just fungus.
247
00:11:35,517 --> 00:11:38,419
Does anyone here really
hate mushrooms that much?
248
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,487
I like shiitake
mushrooms, actually.
249
00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:42,291
They're really good
in Asian soups.
250
00:11:44,627 --> 00:11:48,261
Okay, so who's
gonna go first?
251
00:11:48,263 --> 00:11:49,396
I'll have
you know
252
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:51,601
the first girl to volunteer
last year made squad.
253
00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:55,837
I'll go first.
254
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:59,042
♪
255
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:11,885
I don't think I like
the taste of DNA.
256
00:12:11,887 --> 00:12:14,188
[laughing]
257
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,194
♪
258
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:22,163
Oh my god.
259
00:12:22,165 --> 00:12:23,865
That was so good,
did you get it?
260
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:24,631
Yeah.
261
00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:27,637
♪
262
00:12:39,616 --> 00:12:40,648
What are you
doing?
263
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:42,549
[spitting]
264
00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:45,785
Uh-disinfecting!
265
00:12:45,787 --> 00:12:48,722
Okay, we do not
tolerate troublemakers
266
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,191
here at Parc
Secondary.
267
00:12:50,193 --> 00:12:51,826
I'm not a troublemaker,
I'm a victim!
268
00:12:51,828 --> 00:12:53,327
No,
you're a drunk!
269
00:12:53,329 --> 00:12:54,462
He's a drunk!
270
00:12:54,464 --> 00:12:55,896
I'm drunk,
not a drunk.
271
00:12:55,898 --> 00:12:57,497
It's a verb,
not a noun.
272
00:12:57,499 --> 00:12:58,466
Okay,
you know what?
273
00:12:58,468 --> 00:13:00,701
After this here,
we're going to have a talk
274
00:13:00,703 --> 00:13:02,270
about you
being fired.
275
00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:04,337
Okay.
276
00:13:04,339 --> 00:13:06,640
I've called
all of your parents.
277
00:13:06,642 --> 00:13:09,309
You'll be suspended
for two weeks.
278
00:13:09,311 --> 00:13:11,545
All of you
troublemakers!
279
00:13:11,547 --> 00:13:12,279
[chuckling]
280
00:13:12,281 --> 00:13:13,914
Oh, you think
that's funny?
281
00:13:13,916 --> 00:13:17,284
We have a special program
for suspended students.
282
00:13:17,286 --> 00:13:19,252
Community service.
283
00:13:19,254 --> 00:13:21,355
I hope you like
old people.
284
00:13:21,357 --> 00:13:21,789
Sarah: What?
285
00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:22,323
Robbie: Ugh.
286
00:13:22,325 --> 00:13:23,860
Irene: Old people?
287
00:13:24,927 --> 00:13:26,296
Shit.
288
00:13:26,963 --> 00:13:28,728
Oh, shit, Mom!
289
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:33,736
♪
290
00:13:49,651 --> 00:13:52,319
Voicemail: You have
one new message.
291
00:13:52,321 --> 00:13:53,454
Principal: Hi, there,
Ms. Willis.
292
00:13:53,456 --> 00:13:56,557
This is Principal Firestone
calling from Parc Secondary.
293
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:57,457
We're just calling...
294
00:13:57,459 --> 00:13:58,959
Voicemail: Deleted.
295
00:13:58,961 --> 00:13:59,929
Lydia: Hey!
296
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:02,232
What are you
wearing?
297
00:14:02,998 --> 00:14:03,867
Nothing.
298
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:07,303
Open the hoodie.
299
00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:12,673
Absolutely not!
300
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:14,875
No, you will not
be a cheerleader.
301
00:14:14,877 --> 00:14:15,943
Why?
You were.
302
00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:18,712
You're not cheerleader material
like I was, okay.
303
00:14:18,714 --> 00:14:21,618
You need to be aware
of your limitations.
304
00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:26,754
They made fun of you,
didn't they?
305
00:14:26,756 --> 00:14:27,422
No.
306
00:14:27,424 --> 00:14:28,956
They asked me
to join squad.
307
00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:30,957
Do I look like
an idiot to you?
308
00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:31,592
Sometimes.
309
00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:32,326
Irene!
310
00:14:32,328 --> 00:14:33,863
Actually,
most of the time.
311
00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:38,399
I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself, okay?
312
00:14:38,401 --> 00:14:40,000
'Cause you're
at the age now when,
313
00:14:40,002 --> 00:14:43,638
you know, bad experiences they...
stay with you.
314
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,472
Why didn't you
just ask your boyfriend
315
00:14:45,474 --> 00:14:46,973
to pull out
before he finished?!
316
00:14:46,975 --> 00:14:48,775
That's disgusting!
317
00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:49,776
I'm disgusting?
318
00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:51,611
I'm not the one who had
nasty unprotected sex
319
00:14:51,613 --> 00:14:53,883
in the back
of a pick up truck.
320
00:14:54,916 --> 00:14:56,884
It was
a Honda Civic!
321
00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:58,419
[door slamming]
322
00:14:58,421 --> 00:15:01,425
♪
323
00:15:13,069 --> 00:15:14,738
[dog barking]
324
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,502
[knocking]
325
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,371
[groans]
326
00:15:50,373 --> 00:15:51,374
Hi.
327
00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:53,741
Hi.
328
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:59,746
So I've been thinking... um,
maybe there is another
329
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:04,018
school program that would be
more appropriate for you.
330
00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:05,322
Like what?
331
00:16:05,754 --> 00:16:07,490
Chess Club.
332
00:16:08,123 --> 00:16:09,023
Hmm?
333
00:16:09,025 --> 00:16:11,125
I haven't played chess
in my entire life.
334
00:16:11,127 --> 00:16:12,429
You can learn.
335
00:16:12,929 --> 00:16:17,063
Okay, fine, how about
stamp collecting?
336
00:16:17,065 --> 00:16:18,933
Stamp collecting?
337
00:16:18,935 --> 00:16:22,035
Okay-uh,
bicycle club.
338
00:16:22,037 --> 00:16:23,371
Bicycles?
339
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,139
That's not even
a real club, Mom.
340
00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:25,805
[sighing]
341
00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:27,540
Debate team.
342
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:29,046
You love to fight
with me!
343
00:16:29,978 --> 00:16:31,779
Why fight
when I can cheer?
344
00:16:31,781 --> 00:16:33,646
Oh, god.
345
00:16:33,648 --> 00:16:36,583
Irene, do you have to have
a comeback for everything?
346
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:38,018
Yes.
347
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:40,724
Well, then, goodnight.
348
00:16:45,494 --> 00:16:47,895
Today is the worst day
in the history of days.
349
00:16:47,897 --> 00:16:50,731
Geena: Think of it this way,
when you hit rock bottom
350
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:52,533
on your first day
of high school,
351
00:16:52,535 --> 00:16:54,568
you have no place to go,
but up!
352
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:56,603
I wish you were my mother,
Geena Davis.
353
00:16:56,605 --> 00:16:58,005
Geena:
I'm your God.
354
00:16:58,007 --> 00:16:59,874
Isn't that enough?
355
00:16:59,876 --> 00:17:00,741
No.
356
00:17:00,743 --> 00:17:01,875
Geena: God damnit.
357
00:17:01,877 --> 00:17:03,747
Teenagers
are never satisfied.
358
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:23,432
♪
359
00:17:40,082 --> 00:17:42,483
Sarah's Mom: I can't
pick you up until 4:30.
360
00:17:42,485 --> 00:17:44,485
Sarah: Fine. Whatever.
361
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:46,586
What's this eye make up
you have on?
362
00:17:46,588 --> 00:17:47,522
It's new.
363
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,623
It makes you look like
a Slovakian hooker.
364
00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:53,893
You look at me
when I'm talking to you!
365
00:17:53,895 --> 00:17:55,132
Get out
of my car.
366
00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:01,569
Irene: I don't think you
look like a Slovakian hooker,
367
00:18:01,571 --> 00:18:03,169
but I've never really
been to Slovakia.
368
00:18:03,171 --> 00:18:04,205
Don't talk
to me.
369
00:18:04,207 --> 00:18:05,805
Does your mom
know you're suspended?
370
00:18:05,807 --> 00:18:07,807
My Mom's not very
nice to me either,
371
00:18:07,809 --> 00:18:09,810
so at least we have
something in common!
372
00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:12,246
Do you want to walk
to the retirement home together?
373
00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:13,413
You're worse
than rabies.
374
00:18:13,415 --> 00:18:17,016
Actually, rabies is curable
with antibiotics and rest.
375
00:18:17,018 --> 00:18:18,518
Not that bad!
376
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:19,919
You should
be a lesbian.
377
00:18:19,921 --> 00:18:22,590
Only lesbians are into
weird fat chicks.
378
00:18:22,592 --> 00:18:23,924
I'll look
into it!
379
00:18:23,926 --> 00:18:25,626
Thanks for
the tip.
380
00:18:25,628 --> 00:18:27,794
♪
381
00:18:27,796 --> 00:18:29,028
Barrett: Okay, kids,
382
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,732
welcome to
Mapleview Retirement Home.
383
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,566
A place to relax
and enjoy
384
00:18:33,568 --> 00:18:35,535
your final years
after retirement.
385
00:18:35,537 --> 00:18:37,204
Screw ups,
follow me.
386
00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:38,371
Screw up?
387
00:18:38,373 --> 00:18:40,874
I'm not the one employed by a
retirement home, girlfriend.
388
00:18:40,876 --> 00:18:42,509
Barrett: Don't make me
slap you.
389
00:18:42,511 --> 00:18:44,111
I have no qualms
about slapping teenagers.
390
00:18:44,113 --> 00:18:44,777
It's legal.
391
00:18:44,779 --> 00:18:45,678
I checked.
392
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:46,780
[camera clicking]
393
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,215
Were we supposed to
see that?
394
00:18:48,217 --> 00:18:49,582
Yes.
395
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:50,784
For the next
two weeks,
396
00:18:50,786 --> 00:18:54,088
I want you to report promptly
to me at 9am.
397
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,290
When you hear the bell
next door at 3:30,
398
00:18:56,292 --> 00:18:58,092
that is your cue
to go.
399
00:18:58,094 --> 00:19:00,593
But for those six
and a half hours,
400
00:19:00,595 --> 00:19:03,764
your juvenile asses
are mine.
401
00:19:03,766 --> 00:19:05,966
That is not at all
inappropriate...
402
00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:08,071
Oh, here comes
trouble.
403
00:19:09,538 --> 00:19:11,839
Can I get another Vicodin,
maybe two?
404
00:19:11,841 --> 00:19:13,040
Ruth, you know
the rules.
405
00:19:13,042 --> 00:19:15,242
I gave you one
when you first got up.
406
00:19:15,244 --> 00:19:17,644
You're going to have to wait
another 4 hours.
407
00:19:17,646 --> 00:19:19,246
But I'll be dead
in four hours!
408
00:19:19,248 --> 00:19:21,718
Well,
we'll deal with it!
409
00:19:23,018 --> 00:19:23,816
Got any pot?
410
00:19:23,818 --> 00:19:24,317
Ruth!
411
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:26,019
Go to
your room!
412
00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:27,022
Go.
413
00:19:28,757 --> 00:19:31,257
No one takes any
risks anymore.
414
00:19:31,259 --> 00:19:36,030
I love my life. I love my life.
I love my life. Love my life.
415
00:19:36,032 --> 00:19:38,032
I love my life.
I love my life.
416
00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:40,003
[sighing]
417
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,870
I see.
418
00:19:42,872 --> 00:19:45,072
This is the waiting room
for the funeral home.
419
00:19:45,074 --> 00:19:46,073
Shut up.
420
00:19:46,075 --> 00:19:49,075
Okay, these are your supplies
for your chore:
421
00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:51,280
removing this
hideous wallpaper.
422
00:19:53,282 --> 00:19:54,217
Oh.
423
00:19:55,151 --> 00:19:58,153
♪
424
00:20:07,363 --> 00:20:09,362
I can't stand
the smell in here!
425
00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:12,299
It smells like rotten tomatoes
meets tooth decay.
426
00:20:12,301 --> 00:20:15,669
TV: Hundreds audition,
but only one will win.
427
00:20:15,671 --> 00:20:18,371
Total Talent Showdown.
428
00:20:18,373 --> 00:20:20,207
Who's gonna make it
to round 7?
429
00:20:20,209 --> 00:20:22,075
Who's gonna
get cut?
430
00:20:22,077 --> 00:20:25,080
Find out after
this commercial break.
431
00:20:30,251 --> 00:20:32,785
Is this what you do
all day?
432
00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:34,988
What else
is there to do?
433
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,957
You could
go outside?
434
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,626
Or go to
the mall?
435
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,330
The bus driver quit,
dear.
436
00:20:42,297 --> 00:20:44,998
I think I want to die
before I get old.
437
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,168
No offense.
438
00:20:47,737 --> 00:20:50,739
♪
439
00:20:58,247 --> 00:20:59,746
You're terrifying.
440
00:20:59,748 --> 00:21:00,749
Thank you.
441
00:21:02,651 --> 00:21:03,685
I didn't actually
mean that.
442
00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:05,852
Have you ever noticed that
really scary people
443
00:21:05,854 --> 00:21:08,121
like serial killers
always look normal?
444
00:21:08,123 --> 00:21:10,993
So I avoid all people wearing
pleated khakis and golf shirts.
445
00:21:13,395 --> 00:21:14,961
I'm gonna
go eat now.
446
00:21:14,963 --> 00:21:15,795
Yeah,
you do that.
447
00:21:15,797 --> 00:21:17,765
You should find
a new bus driver.
448
00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:19,766
People need to
get away from this place.
449
00:21:19,768 --> 00:21:22,169
The only people who have
bus licenses in this town
450
00:21:22,171 --> 00:21:24,740
are drunks
and pedophiles.
451
00:21:26,007 --> 00:21:27,006
Can I sit
here?
452
00:21:27,008 --> 00:21:28,310
Of course, dear.
453
00:21:30,145 --> 00:21:31,347
That's Millie.
454
00:21:32,548 --> 00:21:34,782
She likes cashmere turtlenecks,
she's sexually frustrated
455
00:21:34,784 --> 00:21:37,219
and she has no idea
what day it is.
456
00:21:39,455 --> 00:21:43,357
I like hoodies, I'm a virgin,
and it's Tuesday.
457
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,191
I know
it's Tuesday.
458
00:21:45,193 --> 00:21:46,759
She ridicules me.
459
00:21:46,761 --> 00:21:49,028
It's non stop.
460
00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:52,232
Irene's totally going to grow up
to be one of those dumpy women
461
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:54,868
who own a kennel on the
outskirts of town.
462
00:21:54,870 --> 00:21:57,871
That's like...
a metaphor.
463
00:21:57,873 --> 00:22:00,306
She's the fecal matter
in motel rooms
464
00:22:00,308 --> 00:22:03,043
that you can only see
with an infrared light.
465
00:22:03,045 --> 00:22:04,277
That's a metaphor.
466
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:08,417
She's like a dog's butthole
that swells every time it barks.
467
00:22:09,285 --> 00:22:10,950
Actually,
that's a simile.
468
00:22:10,952 --> 00:22:12,221
Not a metaphor.
469
00:22:15,324 --> 00:22:16,957
♪
470
00:22:16,959 --> 00:22:18,260
Ruth: New resident!
471
00:22:18,994 --> 00:22:20,130
Don't touch me!
472
00:22:24,432 --> 00:22:28,869
...sell my house, dump
me in a place like this?
473
00:22:28,871 --> 00:22:30,269
He looks single.
474
00:22:30,271 --> 00:22:31,371
Hope he's
a widower.
475
00:22:31,373 --> 00:22:33,140
They're great
in the sack.
476
00:22:33,142 --> 00:22:34,475
That doesn't even
make sense.
477
00:22:34,477 --> 00:22:37,276
Nothing's hotter
than a grieving lover.
478
00:22:37,278 --> 00:22:41,047
Hello, welcome, welcome!
479
00:22:41,049 --> 00:22:43,751
Good afternoon,
Mr. Preston.
480
00:22:43,753 --> 00:22:46,756
♪
481
00:22:46,855 --> 00:22:49,224
I think we're gonna need
a little bit of privacy.
482
00:22:52,161 --> 00:22:54,961
Charles Preston, my name is
Barrett Harbinson and I'm...
483
00:22:54,963 --> 00:22:55,998
Fuck you.
484
00:22:58,100 --> 00:22:59,736
I like
this one.
485
00:23:00,436 --> 00:23:03,437
Barret: You're in room 9,
which is just down the hall,
486
00:23:03,439 --> 00:23:06,273
uh, if you don't mind,
I'll take you there right now.
487
00:23:06,275 --> 00:23:07,874
Barrett: If there's
an emergency,
488
00:23:07,876 --> 00:23:10,843
just press the red "help"
button in your bedroom.
489
00:23:10,845 --> 00:23:14,313
And if you can't get up,
just pull the string.
490
00:23:14,315 --> 00:23:15,415
Enjoy your stay.
491
00:23:15,417 --> 00:23:17,187
I hope it's
a long one.
492
00:23:18,086 --> 00:23:19,288
Bye for now.
493
00:23:20,221 --> 00:23:22,089
[door closing]
494
00:23:22,091 --> 00:23:24,891
[scraping]
495
00:23:24,893 --> 00:23:26,293
TV Woman:
For just fifty dollars,
496
00:23:26,295 --> 00:23:27,928
a palette for
all skin tones.
497
00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:29,329
[cleaning spray
squirting]
498
00:23:29,331 --> 00:23:31,297
TV Woman:
It's a long wear lipstick,
499
00:23:31,299 --> 00:23:33,534
I'm gonna add a
little bit more right here.
500
00:23:33,536 --> 00:23:35,535
Just a touch.
501
00:23:35,537 --> 00:23:36,403
Perfect!
502
00:23:36,405 --> 00:23:39,372
Irene, being on
the cheerleading squad
503
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:42,242
is about representing the
school, you know what I mean?
504
00:23:42,244 --> 00:23:43,409
Yeah!
505
00:23:43,411 --> 00:23:44,977
Which is why only the best
dancers get to join squad...
506
00:23:44,979 --> 00:23:47,848
No, it's about
representation.
507
00:23:47,850 --> 00:23:50,449
Would you eat at a restaurant
that had an ugly facade
508
00:23:50,451 --> 00:23:53,320
and never washed
their windows?
509
00:23:53,322 --> 00:23:54,521
If the food
was good.
510
00:23:54,523 --> 00:23:55,291
Exactly.
511
00:23:56,124 --> 00:23:58,124
My point is that
you eat too much.
512
00:23:58,126 --> 00:24:01,093
What made you actually think
you could be a cheerleader?
513
00:24:01,095 --> 00:24:02,262
You're fat.
514
00:24:02,264 --> 00:24:03,964
Sarah: Yeah, everyone would
be afraid to lift you!
515
00:24:03,966 --> 00:24:05,532
Ruth: Hey, you!
516
00:24:05,534 --> 00:24:08,302
Leave her alone,
you little chihuahua.
517
00:24:08,304 --> 00:24:09,902
Chihuahua?
518
00:24:09,904 --> 00:24:10,903
You're gonna
die soon.
519
00:24:10,905 --> 00:24:13,439
Not soon enough,
when I meet bitches like you.
520
00:24:13,441 --> 00:24:15,141
Suck your
mother's cock.
521
00:24:15,143 --> 00:24:17,947
I'd try, but your mother's
in the way.
522
00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:21,283
Don't fuck
with me.
523
00:24:22,284 --> 00:24:24,184
Barrett:
What is going on here?
524
00:24:24,186 --> 00:24:25,986
Sarah: What the hell
is this place?
525
00:24:25,988 --> 00:24:27,891
Ruth: It's the place
you're gonna die.
526
00:24:30,491 --> 00:24:32,359
[sighing]
527
00:24:32,361 --> 00:24:34,430
[door creaking]
528
00:24:36,565 --> 00:24:38,564
[TV playing]
529
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:41,200
Hi, Chuck.
530
00:24:41,202 --> 00:24:42,335
What are you
doing?
531
00:24:42,337 --> 00:24:45,440
I was thinking of giving
myself a lobotomy with this pen.
532
00:24:47,008 --> 00:24:47,876
Cool.
533
00:24:49,277 --> 00:24:50,643
Can I help you
unpack?
534
00:24:50,645 --> 00:24:53,146
[sighing]
535
00:24:53,148 --> 00:24:54,050
Okay.
536
00:24:58,519 --> 00:25:00,323
You were
a boxer!
537
00:25:00,922 --> 00:25:01,891
Cool!
538
00:25:08,029 --> 00:25:10,032
Is this a picture
of your wife, Chuck?
539
00:25:11,232 --> 00:25:12,901
She's sexy.
540
00:25:13,302 --> 00:25:15,872
You have no idea
what this is like.
541
00:25:16,939 --> 00:25:20,239
Moving into this place where
you know you're gonna die.
542
00:25:20,241 --> 00:25:21,608
I do know.
543
00:25:21,610 --> 00:25:23,610
High school
started yesterday.
544
00:25:23,612 --> 00:25:26,280
And besides,
you might not die in here.
545
00:25:26,282 --> 00:25:30,217
My grandpa was hit by a delivery
truck outside of a laundromat.
546
00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:31,384
You're very sexy.
547
00:25:31,386 --> 00:25:34,356
If I had a penis, I'd probably
have wet dreams about you.
548
00:25:35,290 --> 00:25:37,157
But I want to avoid
sex altogether
549
00:25:37,159 --> 00:25:38,958
until I'm more established
in my career.
550
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,994
Can you just
leave me alone?
551
00:25:40,996 --> 00:25:43,596
Intelligent women throughout
history settle into marriages
552
00:25:43,598 --> 00:25:46,132
and never achieve
their own goals!
553
00:25:46,134 --> 00:25:48,267
Have you ever
heard of Einstein?
554
00:25:48,269 --> 00:25:50,269
Ah-never
heard of him.
555
00:25:50,271 --> 00:25:51,304
He was married.
556
00:25:51,306 --> 00:25:54,707
She was a scientist,
she gave it all up for him.
557
00:25:54,709 --> 00:25:57,311
And then he left her
for his own cousin.
558
00:25:57,313 --> 00:25:59,111
Can you imagine?
559
00:25:59,113 --> 00:26:01,448
Your husband cheats on you
to commit incest?
560
00:26:01,450 --> 00:26:04,120
That's, like,
the ultimate insult.
561
00:26:06,354 --> 00:26:07,653
Oh my god!
562
00:26:07,655 --> 00:26:10,023
We're in
a church!
563
00:26:10,025 --> 00:26:12,492
Are you in
special ed?
564
00:26:12,494 --> 00:26:13,560
No.
565
00:26:13,562 --> 00:26:15,696
'Cause you're going to end up
in a mental hospital.
566
00:26:15,698 --> 00:26:17,563
You're aware of that,
right?
567
00:26:17,565 --> 00:26:20,199
No, I'm gonna end up
on a football field.
568
00:26:20,201 --> 00:26:22,002
And why
is that?
569
00:26:22,004 --> 00:26:23,273
I'm gonna
be a cheerleader.
570
00:26:24,506 --> 00:26:27,006
Have you looked
in a mirror lately?
571
00:26:27,008 --> 00:26:28,277
Have you?
572
00:26:29,478 --> 00:26:32,478
You're old and you kind of
smell like an empty pickle jar.
573
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,748
If I blur my eyes,
you look Veronica.
574
00:26:35,750 --> 00:26:37,684
Who's Veronica?
575
00:26:37,686 --> 00:26:41,554
She's my pet maggot my mom
made me flush down the toilet.
576
00:26:41,556 --> 00:26:42,989
Can I get you
anything
577
00:26:42,991 --> 00:26:45,624
to make your stay
more comfortable, Chuck?
578
00:26:45,626 --> 00:26:48,094
Vodka.
579
00:26:48,096 --> 00:26:49,595
[bell ringing]
580
00:26:49,597 --> 00:26:50,265
Hmm.
581
00:26:52,401 --> 00:26:54,266
♪
582
00:26:54,268 --> 00:26:56,535
Irene: How am I ever gonna
become a cheerleader
583
00:26:56,537 --> 00:26:58,471
when I'm stuck
at a retirement home?
584
00:26:58,473 --> 00:27:01,007
Geena: You could do
anything anywhere, Irene.
585
00:27:01,009 --> 00:27:02,274
With anyone.
586
00:27:02,276 --> 00:27:05,044
Cheerleading is just
dance choreography.
587
00:27:05,046 --> 00:27:06,479
Think about that.
588
00:27:06,481 --> 00:27:07,747
Okay.
589
00:27:07,749 --> 00:27:11,418
Geena: Irene, you realize you're
talking to a poster, right?
590
00:27:11,420 --> 00:27:13,085
Yeah.
591
00:27:13,087 --> 00:27:14,086
Geena: Okay.
592
00:27:14,088 --> 00:27:15,621
Just checking.
593
00:27:15,623 --> 00:27:18,627
♪
594
00:27:37,446 --> 00:27:38,613
Hey!
595
00:27:39,715 --> 00:27:41,715
What are you doing
in the living room?
596
00:27:41,717 --> 00:27:43,816
It's only for
special occasions.
597
00:27:43,818 --> 00:27:46,453
Why can't we just live
in the living room, Mom?
598
00:27:46,455 --> 00:27:48,455
Because!
599
00:27:48,457 --> 00:27:48,889
[door closing]
600
00:27:48,891 --> 00:27:50,823
Living stains.
601
00:27:50,825 --> 00:27:54,029
♪
602
00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:02,535
I heard about your suspension,
you shit disturber.
603
00:28:02,537 --> 00:28:04,336
Aren't you
supposed to be in class?
604
00:28:04,338 --> 00:28:06,605
Listen, don't get suspended
from the retirement home
605
00:28:06,607 --> 00:28:08,774
like you got
from school.
606
00:28:08,776 --> 00:28:11,477
How do you get suspended
from a retirement home?
607
00:28:11,479 --> 00:28:13,280
You die.
608
00:28:13,282 --> 00:28:16,285
♪
609
00:28:19,455 --> 00:28:21,254
TV: ...come on down,
prices so low
610
00:28:21,256 --> 00:28:23,622
you'll think
you're in another century.
611
00:28:23,624 --> 00:28:25,859
These cars are going
for practically nothing!
612
00:28:25,861 --> 00:28:28,328
No payments
for 12 months.
613
00:28:28,330 --> 00:28:30,663
Don't wait!
614
00:28:30,665 --> 00:28:33,766
Host: Next up: we have
a dance crew all the way from
615
00:28:33,768 --> 00:28:39,406
St. John's, Newfoundland who
call themselves "Tight Fusion".
616
00:28:39,408 --> 00:28:41,373
Now, they've advanced
2 rounds,
617
00:28:41,375 --> 00:28:44,511
but is tonight the night
that they go home?
618
00:28:44,513 --> 00:28:45,815
Let's find out.
619
00:28:46,848 --> 00:28:48,281
[yawning]
620
00:28:48,283 --> 00:28:50,149
Cheerleader:
5, 6, 7, 8.
621
00:28:50,151 --> 00:28:54,353
1, 2, 3 and 4,
5 and 6, 7 and 8.
622
00:28:54,355 --> 00:28:54,821
Woo!
623
00:28:54,823 --> 00:28:55,889
Okay.
624
00:28:55,891 --> 00:29:00,826
1, 2, 3, 4,
5 and 6 and 7, 8.
625
00:29:00,828 --> 00:29:01,561
Okay, good.
626
00:29:01,563 --> 00:29:02,428
Let's try it again,
though.
627
00:29:02,430 --> 00:29:04,430
Um, a little more
spirit this time.
628
00:29:04,432 --> 00:29:05,466
Okay, ready?
629
00:29:05,468 --> 00:29:08,200
Host: The stage is being set
for the next season
630
00:29:08,202 --> 00:29:10,437
of Total Talent
Showdown.
631
00:29:10,439 --> 00:29:13,607
All you need is
a special talent.
632
00:29:13,609 --> 00:29:15,842
Come on,
grab your crew.
633
00:29:15,844 --> 00:29:18,277
We're looking for people
of all ages.
634
00:29:18,279 --> 00:29:19,912
Anyone can be
on the show.
635
00:29:19,914 --> 00:29:24,252
All you need is talent and
the need to show it off.
636
00:29:26,255 --> 00:29:28,321
Cheerleader:
5, 6, 7, 8.
637
00:29:28,323 --> 00:29:31,326
♪
638
00:29:34,162 --> 00:29:36,396
Cheerleading is like
having protective armour.
639
00:29:36,398 --> 00:29:38,198
If you're a cheerleader,
you're in harmony
640
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,167
with those
surrounding you.
641
00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:42,369
Do we have anything
to cut this with, sweetie?
642
00:29:42,371 --> 00:29:44,204
It's a bit
strong.
643
00:29:44,206 --> 00:29:45,804
I'm gonna
show you something.
644
00:29:45,806 --> 00:29:46,872
Are you ready,
guys?
645
00:29:46,874 --> 00:29:49,275
Follow my movements,
'kay?
646
00:29:49,277 --> 00:29:50,677
Kelly: Okay,
come on you guys.
647
00:29:50,679 --> 00:29:52,278
Keep going,
we gotta get warm.
648
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,281
Cheerleader: Running in place
is so much work!
649
00:29:54,283 --> 00:29:56,815
Oh my...
oh my god.
650
00:29:56,817 --> 00:29:58,587
What is she
doing?
651
00:30:02,591 --> 00:30:05,191
We'll scrape you up
like dental plaque.
652
00:30:05,193 --> 00:30:06,825
Did you by any chance,
sniff glue
653
00:30:06,827 --> 00:30:10,229
when you got up
this morning, sweetie?
654
00:30:10,231 --> 00:30:11,864
Okay,
follow my movements.
655
00:30:11,866 --> 00:30:12,868
Ready?
656
00:30:15,836 --> 00:30:17,873
We have nothing
to cheer for.
657
00:30:22,577 --> 00:30:24,578
No one cheers for anything
in this town,
658
00:30:24,580 --> 00:30:27,514
except for the Parc High
Cheerleaders.
659
00:30:27,516 --> 00:30:30,850
Parc High is good to go, have
you seen our possums throw?
660
00:30:30,852 --> 00:30:32,953
We'll roll you
like you're pastry-o!
661
00:30:32,955 --> 00:30:33,652
Woo!
662
00:30:33,654 --> 00:30:35,287
Now, follow me.
663
00:30:35,289 --> 00:30:37,623
Ugh,
that was so good!
664
00:30:37,625 --> 00:30:40,262
I can't do
what those girls do!
665
00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:42,731
Can't we try?
666
00:30:43,364 --> 00:30:44,197
That was good!
667
00:30:44,199 --> 00:30:45,765
Just, I wanna hear
that snap, okay?
668
00:30:45,767 --> 00:30:47,566
Let's do it together
one more time.
669
00:30:47,568 --> 00:30:49,669
A 5, 6, 7, 8.
670
00:30:49,671 --> 00:30:52,471
Parc High is good to go, have
you seen our...
671
00:30:52,473 --> 00:30:53,607
Ah...
672
00:30:53,609 --> 00:30:55,774
Cheerleader: We'll roll you
like you're pastry-o!
673
00:30:55,776 --> 00:30:58,477
Woo!
674
00:30:58,479 --> 00:31:00,380
Let's try again.
675
00:31:00,382 --> 00:31:02,582
But we've retired,
dear.
676
00:31:02,584 --> 00:31:04,253
From everything.
677
00:31:04,719 --> 00:31:06,419
So you're just gonna
give up?
678
00:31:06,421 --> 00:31:08,455
Just because
we're not like them?
679
00:31:08,457 --> 00:31:09,325
Yes.
680
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:16,362
Cheerleader: ...across, open,
around and snap.
681
00:31:16,364 --> 00:31:18,031
Good job, guys!
682
00:31:18,033 --> 00:31:19,032
[sighing]
683
00:31:19,034 --> 00:31:23,035
Cross, open, nails, nails, head,
around and snap.
684
00:31:23,037 --> 00:31:23,972
That was good!
685
00:31:44,625 --> 00:31:46,559
Irene: No one wants
a fat cheerleader.
686
00:31:46,561 --> 00:31:48,294
I'm just gonna
embarrass myself.
687
00:31:48,296 --> 00:31:50,897
Geena: Don't worry about
embarrassing yourself.
688
00:31:50,899 --> 00:31:55,435
I was in a movie called "Earth
Girls Are Easy" and I survived.
689
00:31:55,437 --> 00:31:57,570
Irene, you cannot
waste time worrying
690
00:31:57,572 --> 00:31:59,805
about what you think
you see in the mirror.
691
00:31:59,807 --> 00:32:01,573
That's easy
for you to say.
692
00:32:01,575 --> 00:32:02,842
You look good
in a leotard.
693
00:32:02,844 --> 00:32:06,446
Geena: When I was your age,
I was the tallest kid in class.
694
00:32:06,448 --> 00:32:07,980
It was always
my greatest dream
695
00:32:07,982 --> 00:32:10,582
to take up less space
in the world.
696
00:32:10,584 --> 00:32:11,117
[laughs]
697
00:32:11,119 --> 00:32:12,185
I know that
well.
698
00:32:12,187 --> 00:32:14,086
Geena: But there were
better dreams to have.
699
00:32:14,088 --> 00:32:17,090
It took me a while to realize
I'd rather be over someone
700
00:32:17,092 --> 00:32:18,725
than under them.
701
00:32:18,727 --> 00:32:22,329
Yeah, why can't life
just be easy?
702
00:32:22,331 --> 00:32:23,530
Geena: It should be.
703
00:32:23,532 --> 00:32:26,432
Those people who say you
can't be beautiful and fat?
704
00:32:26,434 --> 00:32:29,101
Tell them they could all
suck my dick.
705
00:32:29,103 --> 00:32:30,637
You have
a dick?
706
00:32:30,639 --> 00:32:31,905
Geena:
I'm Geena Davis.
707
00:32:31,907 --> 00:32:33,943
I have everything.
708
00:32:35,744 --> 00:32:37,877
♪ I want you
to notice ♪
709
00:32:37,879 --> 00:32:39,813
♪
710
00:32:39,815 --> 00:32:42,415
♪ Some moments
are rare ♪
711
00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:44,383
♪
712
00:32:44,385 --> 00:32:50,390
♪ Don't take me for granted
just take me the-e-re ♪
713
00:32:50,392 --> 00:32:51,324
♪
714
00:32:51,326 --> 00:32:54,127
♪ And I'm never
gonna ask for more ♪
715
00:32:54,129 --> 00:32:56,595
♪ Uh-uh-uh
I'm nev... ♪
716
00:32:56,597 --> 00:32:58,063
Hi.
717
00:32:58,065 --> 00:32:59,565
Are you
a boy today?
718
00:32:59,567 --> 00:33:02,435
No,
I'm Annie Hall.
719
00:33:02,437 --> 00:33:05,572
Anyway, I saw you
and those old people yesterday.
720
00:33:05,574 --> 00:33:07,573
If you're gonna insult me,
just do it.
721
00:33:07,575 --> 00:33:10,008
I don't like all the
build up before it.
722
00:33:10,010 --> 00:33:12,445
You wanna be
a cheerleader, yeah?
723
00:33:12,447 --> 00:33:13,612
Not
a punk one.
724
00:33:13,614 --> 00:33:14,683
A real one.
725
00:33:16,051 --> 00:33:17,117
You just
need music!
726
00:33:17,119 --> 00:33:19,017
♪ Just take me,
take me-e ♪
727
00:33:19,019 --> 00:33:24,023
[stamping]
728
00:33:24,025 --> 00:33:25,158
Hey, guys.
729
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,959
Can you point her
in the direction
730
00:33:26,961 --> 00:33:28,660
of some good
dance music?
731
00:33:28,662 --> 00:33:30,063
She needs quality.
732
00:33:30,065 --> 00:33:32,165
Vinyl, I'm assuming?
733
00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:33,699
I was actually
thinking something
734
00:33:33,701 --> 00:33:35,601
more like
audio cassette.
735
00:33:35,603 --> 00:33:38,438
Oh,
you're a real hipster.
736
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:39,605
[coins dropping]
737
00:33:39,607 --> 00:33:41,908
Oh, keep your money, I put
those tapes where they belong.
738
00:33:41,910 --> 00:33:42,678
Come on.
739
00:33:44,078 --> 00:33:47,580
♪ So, I'm never gonna
ask for more ♪
740
00:33:47,582 --> 00:33:49,983
You seem a little bit
too comfortable here.
741
00:33:49,985 --> 00:33:52,584
Garbage is kind of
my comfort zone.
742
00:33:52,586 --> 00:33:53,085
[gasping]
743
00:33:53,087 --> 00:33:54,321
Amazing.
744
00:33:54,323 --> 00:33:57,689
Oh, this is all you need, Euro
dance music from the early 90s.
745
00:33:57,691 --> 00:33:59,892
This is like oxygen
for the people who wear
746
00:33:59,894 --> 00:34:01,830
high-waisted jeans
and thick belts.
747
00:34:03,064 --> 00:34:05,931
The good thing about tapes
is that they don't scratch.
748
00:34:05,933 --> 00:34:08,868
Then why'd you throw them
in the garbage?
749
00:34:08,870 --> 00:34:10,002
They didn't sell.
750
00:34:10,004 --> 00:34:12,741
Well, aren't things people
throw away better anyways?
751
00:34:13,841 --> 00:34:15,944
Maybe I should give
these tapes another listen.
752
00:34:18,946 --> 00:34:21,815
Geena: Irene,
you have the music,
753
00:34:21,817 --> 00:34:24,817
now you must give birth
to your dream
754
00:34:24,819 --> 00:34:27,654
and remember the path to
cheerleading
755
00:34:27,656 --> 00:34:29,556
will not be
a straight one.
756
00:34:29,558 --> 00:34:30,623
In what way?
757
00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:31,857
Geena:
I can't be clear.
758
00:34:31,859 --> 00:34:34,027
I'm your mentor,
I must be confusing.
759
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:34,828
[door opens abruptly]
760
00:34:34,830 --> 00:34:35,962
[startled gasp]
761
00:34:35,964 --> 00:34:37,763
Who you
talking to?
762
00:34:37,765 --> 00:34:40,065
I'm just having
a conversation.
763
00:34:40,067 --> 00:34:42,034
With yourself?
764
00:34:42,036 --> 00:34:43,169
Geena Davis.
765
00:34:43,171 --> 00:34:44,603
What?
766
00:34:44,605 --> 00:34:45,573
Myself.
767
00:34:47,908 --> 00:34:50,777
Alright.
768
00:34:50,779 --> 00:34:51,881
[door closes]
769
00:34:54,149 --> 00:34:55,047
♪
770
00:34:55,049 --> 00:34:57,049
Geena: You know
your friend Tesh?
771
00:34:57,051 --> 00:34:58,585
Irene:
Tesh is weird.
772
00:34:58,587 --> 00:34:59,819
Geena:
Weird and smart.
773
00:34:59,821 --> 00:35:03,121
Tesh knows that when people like
you go out and do their thing,
774
00:35:03,123 --> 00:35:05,225
it pisses people
off.
775
00:35:05,227 --> 00:35:07,794
Now you've got music
and booze.
776
00:35:07,796 --> 00:35:10,263
Get those old folks
off their butts.
777
00:35:10,265 --> 00:35:12,866
Irene: But, I wanna be
a regular cheerleader
778
00:35:12,868 --> 00:35:14,667
not a
pissed off one.
779
00:35:14,669 --> 00:35:18,203
Geena: This town doesn't need
another regular cheerleader.
780
00:35:18,205 --> 00:35:20,675
This town
needs you.
781
00:35:22,143 --> 00:35:23,512
Thanks, Geena.
782
00:35:25,247 --> 00:35:27,513
Irene: It'll work.
783
00:35:27,515 --> 00:35:32,618
But I mean, I don't think
these people wanna do this.
784
00:35:32,620 --> 00:35:34,620
I think we can
convince them.
785
00:35:34,622 --> 00:35:35,654
Really?
786
00:35:35,656 --> 00:35:38,790
Yeah, look at you,
you're sexy.
787
00:35:38,792 --> 00:35:40,225
TV: Enjoy your
golden years
788
00:35:40,227 --> 00:35:44,531
at Florida's hottest
retirement destination.
789
00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,565
Hey, we were
watching that!
790
00:35:46,567 --> 00:35:47,966
You need to
move your bodies.
791
00:35:47,968 --> 00:35:50,303
Why the hell would we
want to do that?
792
00:35:50,305 --> 00:35:51,937
Because it's fun.
793
00:35:51,939 --> 00:35:54,806
We like to
watch television, dear.
794
00:35:54,808 --> 00:35:56,676
I told you,
we've retired.
795
00:35:56,678 --> 00:35:57,946
We have
a proposal.
796
00:35:58,946 --> 00:36:00,015
Charles?
797
00:36:02,149 --> 00:36:04,118
Umm, 'kay.
798
00:36:07,122 --> 00:36:09,058
Who here
wants to dance?
799
00:36:14,094 --> 00:36:16,098
Who here wants to
dance with him?
800
00:36:18,165 --> 00:36:21,100
What I wanna do with
him isn't called dancing.
801
00:36:21,102 --> 00:36:24,103
I wanna smash
his pelvis into dust.
802
00:36:24,105 --> 00:36:27,109
♪
803
00:36:29,243 --> 00:36:31,009
That sounds dangerous.
804
00:36:31,011 --> 00:36:32,312
♪
805
00:36:32,314 --> 00:36:33,312
Irene:
Come on, guys.
806
00:36:33,314 --> 00:36:34,182
Follow me.
807
00:36:35,884 --> 00:36:36,683
Shh!
808
00:36:36,685 --> 00:36:38,120
Hurry, come on!
809
00:36:41,056 --> 00:36:43,255
[dance music plays]
810
00:36:43,257 --> 00:36:44,824
[grunting]
811
00:36:44,826 --> 00:36:45,828
Great.
812
00:36:46,227 --> 00:36:47,326
Good.
813
00:36:47,328 --> 00:36:50,029
Follow my movements,
be my mirrors.
814
00:36:50,031 --> 00:36:53,031
Don't worry about being bad or
slow just follow best you can.
815
00:36:53,033 --> 00:36:55,335
5, 6, 7, 8.
816
00:36:55,337 --> 00:36:57,370
Hands
in the air.
817
00:36:57,372 --> 00:36:59,806
And spin.
818
00:36:59,808 --> 00:37:01,207
What the hell
is she doing?
819
00:37:01,209 --> 00:37:02,308
No. No.
820
00:37:02,310 --> 00:37:03,375
This can't
be happening.
821
00:37:03,377 --> 00:37:04,643
Where are we
going?
822
00:37:04,645 --> 00:37:06,080
We're gonna go
tell that homo.
823
00:37:08,882 --> 00:37:12,652
He's got the ass
of a 55 year old!
824
00:37:12,654 --> 00:37:14,053
This isn't bad.
825
00:37:14,055 --> 00:37:16,154
5, 4, 3, 2.
826
00:37:16,156 --> 00:37:17,757
This is choreography!
827
00:37:17,759 --> 00:37:20,025
♪
828
00:37:20,027 --> 00:37:20,759
[clearing throat]
829
00:37:20,761 --> 00:37:23,328
And what the hell
is this?!
830
00:37:23,330 --> 00:37:25,230
All: Choreography.
831
00:37:25,232 --> 00:37:28,167
These people
are slowing down.
832
00:37:28,169 --> 00:37:31,136
Their bodies don't work
like they used to.
833
00:37:31,138 --> 00:37:32,938
I don't think
that's true!
834
00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:35,741
Well, what if they're tired of
people like you always assuming
835
00:37:35,743 --> 00:37:38,344
they can't do something just
because of the way they look?
836
00:37:38,346 --> 00:37:39,545
[laughs]
837
00:37:39,547 --> 00:37:43,016
Have you ever heard of this
little thing called arthritis?
838
00:37:43,018 --> 00:37:44,817
Is watching T.V.
and waiting to die
839
00:37:44,819 --> 00:37:46,288
a cure
for arthritis?
840
00:37:48,089 --> 00:37:48,991
No.
841
00:37:49,223 --> 00:37:50,757
Come on, please?
842
00:37:50,759 --> 00:37:53,259
Oh, yes,
okay fine!
843
00:37:53,261 --> 00:37:55,060
Does that mean
we get to dance?
844
00:37:55,062 --> 00:37:58,066
♪
845
00:37:59,968 --> 00:38:00,868
Barrett.
846
00:38:02,002 --> 00:38:03,435
What the hell
is going on?
847
00:38:03,437 --> 00:38:05,971
Choreography, apparently.
848
00:38:05,973 --> 00:38:07,440
Is she allowed
to do this?
849
00:38:07,442 --> 00:38:09,141
Barrett: Yes,
I stopped caring.
850
00:38:09,143 --> 00:38:10,109
It's been liberating,
actually.
851
00:38:10,111 --> 00:38:12,145
Although, I could do
without all this music.
852
00:38:12,147 --> 00:38:14,980
It reminds me
of happier times.
853
00:38:14,982 --> 00:38:16,281
Get back
to work!
854
00:38:16,283 --> 00:38:16,949
[irritated grunt]
855
00:38:16,951 --> 00:38:18,286
You too.
856
00:38:20,288 --> 00:38:22,388
Thank you,
where do I sign?
857
00:38:22,390 --> 00:38:25,991
Oh, always at the bottom,
isn't it?
858
00:38:25,993 --> 00:38:27,826
Always
at the bottom.
859
00:38:27,828 --> 00:38:30,832
♪
860
00:38:33,368 --> 00:38:35,268
Barrett over P.A.:
Residents, a reminder that
861
00:38:35,270 --> 00:38:38,306
the chapel will beclosed
'til further notice.
862
00:38:39,107 --> 00:38:42,741
It must be so sad to have no
self-awareness whatsoever.
863
00:38:42,743 --> 00:38:44,042
Doesn't sound
so bad.
864
00:38:44,044 --> 00:38:46,245
You'd never know
how sad it is.
865
00:38:46,247 --> 00:38:48,082
Hmm, well they
need to be reminded.
866
00:38:49,149 --> 00:38:51,116
♪
867
00:38:51,118 --> 00:38:53,187
That bitch
is staring at us.
868
00:38:54,989 --> 00:38:57,126
She's so lucky
to be that pretty.
869
00:38:57,491 --> 00:39:00,292
Just remember,
it's the whitest dogs
870
00:39:00,294 --> 00:39:04,230
always have the
dirtiest buttholes.
871
00:39:04,232 --> 00:39:07,236
♪
872
00:39:08,002 --> 00:39:10,969
Why you givin' me
this piece of meat, woman?
873
00:39:10,971 --> 00:39:12,408
They need
self-awareness.
874
00:39:15,042 --> 00:39:15,977
Do it.
875
00:39:20,848 --> 00:39:26,384
[laughing]
876
00:39:26,386 --> 00:39:29,390
♪
877
00:39:30,158 --> 00:39:31,093
Eat it.
878
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:39,165
Pick up the goddamn meat
and put it in your mouth.
879
00:39:39,167 --> 00:39:40,335
Chew it.
880
00:39:41,803 --> 00:39:44,272
Now,
smile at them.
881
00:39:46,507 --> 00:39:48,109
Big smile.
882
00:39:48,877 --> 00:39:50,179
Lot's of teeth.
883
00:39:54,948 --> 00:39:57,051
Now they know
you're tough.
884
00:40:00,087 --> 00:40:03,790
[train horn]
885
00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:06,091
Irene: Have you ever heard of
Total Talent Showdown?
886
00:40:06,093 --> 00:40:07,960
Tesh: Oh my god,
yes!
887
00:40:07,962 --> 00:40:09,228
Is that
your plan?
888
00:40:09,230 --> 00:40:09,795
[gasp]
889
00:40:09,797 --> 00:40:11,864
You were born
for T.V.
890
00:40:11,866 --> 00:40:13,299
I'm just gonna
embarrass myself.
891
00:40:13,301 --> 00:40:15,167
Everyone's gonna
make fun of me.
892
00:40:15,169 --> 00:40:16,134
Look at me.
893
00:40:16,136 --> 00:40:17,236
Look at me!
894
00:40:17,238 --> 00:40:19,806
You think I got where I am
by caring?
895
00:40:19,808 --> 00:40:22,174
I'm just gonna fail,
everyone's waiting for it.
896
00:40:22,176 --> 00:40:24,544
Success is just failure in drag,
think about it.
897
00:40:24,546 --> 00:40:27,946
Look, take this
and if anyone bothers you,
898
00:40:27,948 --> 00:40:30,315
just upload it
to the Internet.
899
00:40:30,317 --> 00:40:34,252
I strongly believe that bullies
do not deserve privacy.
900
00:40:34,254 --> 00:40:37,422
It doesn't matter if you
are a musician or an acrobat.
901
00:40:37,424 --> 00:40:41,393
Anyone with a special talent,
we're looking for you.
902
00:40:41,395 --> 00:40:45,832
Log on to our website
and submit your audition today.
903
00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:48,837
♪
904
00:40:55,243 --> 00:40:57,176
Gross.
905
00:40:57,178 --> 00:41:00,181
♪
906
00:41:02,082 --> 00:41:04,516
You. Continue stripping
the wallpaper from the lounge.
907
00:41:04,518 --> 00:41:08,520
You. Keep the residents busy
with your dancing, or whatever.
908
00:41:08,522 --> 00:41:11,123
You. Mr. Spence
needs help in his room.
909
00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:12,225
Room 12.
910
00:41:12,227 --> 00:41:13,092
What kind
of help?
911
00:41:13,094 --> 00:41:15,094
You'll find out
when you get there.
912
00:41:15,096 --> 00:41:17,964
[laughing]
913
00:41:17,966 --> 00:41:19,565
I'm happy when
I'm around you, Chuck.
914
00:41:19,567 --> 00:41:21,366
I wanna eat you
in a sandwich,
915
00:41:21,368 --> 00:41:23,969
but I don't wanna digest it
and poo it out.
916
00:41:23,971 --> 00:41:26,404
I want you to be
a part of me forever
917
00:41:26,406 --> 00:41:29,040
but I don't mean that
in a sexual way.
918
00:41:29,042 --> 00:41:31,544
Maybe we should avoid
making sandwiches together.
919
00:41:31,546 --> 00:41:33,612
I'm okay with
constipation.
920
00:41:33,614 --> 00:41:36,315
Can we change
the subject?
921
00:41:36,317 --> 00:41:38,954
I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for Irene Willis.
922
00:41:41,955 --> 00:41:42,922
Who's she?
923
00:41:42,924 --> 00:41:44,323
A girl with
a future filled
924
00:41:44,325 --> 00:41:47,326
with plus size clothing
and desperation.
925
00:41:47,328 --> 00:41:51,196
Uhh, I'm sorry, I'm having
a hard time following you.
926
00:41:51,198 --> 00:41:54,600
She's ill in the vag,
you know what I mean?
927
00:41:54,602 --> 00:41:58,237
Okay, now we're gonna start by
you punching me, alright?
928
00:41:58,239 --> 00:41:59,638
Come on,
punch me.
929
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:00,640
- No.
- Punch me!
930
00:42:00,642 --> 00:42:01,775
I can't punch you
in the face.
931
00:42:01,777 --> 00:42:04,009
No, yes you can, you can
punch me right in the face.
932
00:42:04,011 --> 00:42:05,511
No, I'm not gonna punch
an old man.
933
00:42:05,513 --> 00:42:06,612
You know,
when you get old,
934
00:42:06,614 --> 00:42:08,346
people think you can't
handle anything.
935
00:42:08,348 --> 00:42:11,183
I want you to punch me
in the face.
936
00:42:11,185 --> 00:42:12,518
I want you to make
a big bruise.
937
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,286
No, I'm a nice person,
I don't punch people.
938
00:42:14,288 --> 00:42:17,522
No one ever changed
the world by being nice.
939
00:42:17,524 --> 00:42:19,525
I think that Ghandi guy did,
didn't he?
940
00:42:19,527 --> 00:42:21,294
Fuck Ghandi!
941
00:42:21,296 --> 00:42:22,562
Like, we tried
cyberbullying her,
942
00:42:22,564 --> 00:42:26,364
but that didn't work 'cause she
doesn't even have the internet.
943
00:42:26,366 --> 00:42:30,069
So now I'm stuck here,
in hell, with you.
944
00:42:30,071 --> 00:42:33,272
Do you know why you've been
sent in here to help?
945
00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:35,174
Excuse me?
946
00:42:35,176 --> 00:42:36,708
[bluegrass starts playing]
947
00:42:36,710 --> 00:42:41,013
I like listening to Bluegrass
when I'm getting changed over.
948
00:42:41,015 --> 00:42:42,614
Changed over?
949
00:42:42,616 --> 00:42:45,921
You take the old one off
and put the new one on.
950
00:42:46,988 --> 00:42:48,587
Do you mean
like a diaper?
951
00:42:48,589 --> 00:42:53,562
If it's okay, I prefer
disposable brief.
952
00:42:56,997 --> 00:42:59,133
I hate
Irene Willis!
953
00:42:59,667 --> 00:43:00,699
Come on,
punch me!
954
00:43:00,701 --> 00:43:01,400
No!
955
00:43:01,402 --> 00:43:02,134
Punch me!
956
00:43:02,136 --> 00:43:03,502
No!
957
00:43:03,504 --> 00:43:05,705
Fat girls
can't cheer.
958
00:43:05,707 --> 00:43:06,475
[grunts]
959
00:43:12,613 --> 00:43:14,149
How'd that feel?
960
00:43:15,415 --> 00:43:18,216
Really, really good.
961
00:43:18,218 --> 00:43:21,222
♪
962
00:43:29,596 --> 00:43:31,730
1, 2, 3, 4.
963
00:43:31,732 --> 00:43:34,433
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
964
00:43:34,435 --> 00:43:37,439
♪
965
00:43:45,078 --> 00:43:46,379
Star.
966
00:43:46,381 --> 00:43:51,183
♪ Finally it's happened to me
right in front of my face ♪
967
00:43:51,185 --> 00:43:54,085
♪ and I just
cannot hide it ♪
968
00:43:54,087 --> 00:43:57,522
♪ Meeting Mr. Right,
the man of my dreams ♪
969
00:43:57,524 --> 00:44:00,359
So to do cheerleading, we're
gonna have to do some lifts.
970
00:44:00,361 --> 00:44:01,426
Are you crazy?
971
00:44:01,428 --> 00:44:02,428
We can't
do lifts!
972
00:44:02,430 --> 00:44:04,629
We're a lot stronger
than we look, aren't we?
973
00:44:04,631 --> 00:44:07,232
♪ It's just the way
he looks at me ♪
974
00:44:07,234 --> 00:44:08,634
♪ That gentle
loving stare ♪
975
00:44:08,636 --> 00:44:10,803
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
976
00:44:10,805 --> 00:44:12,772
1, 2, 3, 4.
977
00:44:12,774 --> 00:44:14,207
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
978
00:44:14,209 --> 00:44:18,277
♪ The way I feel about you
it just can't be wrong ♪
979
00:44:18,279 --> 00:44:19,511
You want me
to what?
980
00:44:19,513 --> 00:44:20,746
Irene: Simple lifts!
981
00:44:20,748 --> 00:44:23,748
You cook them food, you might
as well lift them up in the air.
982
00:44:23,750 --> 00:44:26,752
Why the hell would I wanna
join a cheerleading team?
983
00:44:26,754 --> 00:44:29,087
Because it's awesome.
984
00:44:29,089 --> 00:44:31,290
♪ ...right in front
of my face... ♪
985
00:44:31,292 --> 00:44:33,458
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
986
00:44:33,460 --> 00:44:35,795
Pump, pump,
pump, pump.
987
00:44:35,797 --> 00:44:36,995
Ninja, ninja, ninja...
988
00:44:36,997 --> 00:44:40,399
♪ ...right in front of my face
and I just... ♪
989
00:44:40,401 --> 00:44:42,167
And lift.
990
00:44:42,169 --> 00:44:43,404
Oh, oh, oh...
991
00:44:44,839 --> 00:44:45,774
Jump.
992
00:44:51,145 --> 00:44:52,645
Irene: Ninja, ninja.
993
00:44:52,647 --> 00:44:53,715
Pump, pump...
994
00:44:54,549 --> 00:44:55,714
What are you
doing here?
995
00:44:55,716 --> 00:44:58,183
All I've been doing lately
is burning coconut incense,
996
00:44:58,185 --> 00:45:01,319
masturbating,
and crying myself to sleep.
997
00:45:01,321 --> 00:45:02,254
What?
998
00:45:02,256 --> 00:45:03,755
I need
a hobby.
999
00:45:03,757 --> 00:45:05,790
♪ ...and have
a little fun... ♪
1000
00:45:05,792 --> 00:45:09,828
♪ But now you've come along
and brightened up my world ♪
1001
00:45:09,830 --> 00:45:14,366
♪ In my heart I feel it,
I'm that special kinda girl ♪
1002
00:45:14,368 --> 00:45:17,368
♪ Finally you've
come along ♪
1003
00:45:17,370 --> 00:45:20,573
♪ The way I feel about you,
it just can't be wrong ♪
1004
00:45:20,575 --> 00:45:21,908
Can we join?
1005
00:45:21,910 --> 00:45:25,544
♪ If you only knew,
the way I feel about you ♪
1006
00:45:25,546 --> 00:45:27,379
You're gonna be
our cameraman.
1007
00:45:27,381 --> 00:45:29,315
5, 6, 7, 8.
1008
00:45:29,317 --> 00:45:30,250
♪ Oh, no-no ♪
1009
00:45:30,252 --> 00:45:33,185
♪ Finally it has
happened to me ♪
1010
00:45:33,187 --> 00:45:35,589
♪ Right in front
of my face ♪
1011
00:45:36,189 --> 00:45:37,358
[disgusted sigh]
1012
00:45:39,259 --> 00:45:40,560
[cheering]
1013
00:45:40,562 --> 00:45:43,228
♪ ...it's happened to me
right in front of my face ♪
1014
00:45:43,230 --> 00:45:46,364
♪ and I just
cannot hide it ♪
1015
00:45:46,366 --> 00:45:49,201
♪ Finally it has
happened to me ♪
1016
00:45:49,203 --> 00:45:51,237
♪ Right in front
of my face ♪
1017
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:52,904
♪ My feelings
can't describe it ♪
1018
00:45:52,906 --> 00:45:55,841
I'm Geena Davis
and this is how I arch.
1019
00:45:55,843 --> 00:45:56,678
Ooh.
1020
00:45:57,944 --> 00:46:02,281
♪ Right in front of my face
and I just cannot hide it ♪
1021
00:46:02,283 --> 00:46:04,884
♪ Finally-y-y ♪
1022
00:46:04,886 --> 00:46:11,824
♪ Whoa, finally-y
yeah yeah ♪
1023
00:46:11,826 --> 00:46:14,292
♪
1024
00:46:14,294 --> 00:46:16,328
Tesh: I just
want you to know that
1025
00:46:16,330 --> 00:46:18,730
I think the world needs
more masculine women.
1026
00:46:18,732 --> 00:46:22,567
I think everytime a woman waxes
her upper lip a kitten dies.
1027
00:46:22,569 --> 00:46:24,937
I waxed yesterday.
1028
00:46:24,939 --> 00:46:26,938
Yeah, I'm more
of a dog person anyway.
1029
00:46:26,940 --> 00:46:29,341
Y'know, cat's have kind of
taken over the internet,
1030
00:46:29,343 --> 00:46:30,509
it's obnoxious.
1031
00:46:30,511 --> 00:46:33,846
♪ Finally-y you've
come along ♪
1032
00:46:33,848 --> 00:46:37,850
♪ The way I feel about you
it just can't be wrong ♪
1033
00:46:37,852 --> 00:46:44,390
♪ If you only knew
the way I feel about you ♪
1034
00:46:44,392 --> 00:46:44,790
[computer chimes]
1035
00:46:44,792 --> 00:46:46,625
[typing]
1036
00:46:46,627 --> 00:46:48,426
[clicking]
1037
00:46:48,428 --> 00:46:50,331
[car engine rumbling]
1038
00:46:53,801 --> 00:46:54,803
Hey!
1039
00:46:55,502 --> 00:46:56,835
I need
more music.
1040
00:46:56,837 --> 00:46:58,703
Well, uh, garbage day
was yesterday,
1041
00:46:58,705 --> 00:47:00,608
so the dumpster's
empty now.
1042
00:47:01,209 --> 00:47:03,741
I can give something from
my personal collection,
1043
00:47:03,743 --> 00:47:04,712
if you want.
1044
00:47:05,478 --> 00:47:08,379
This here
is Milli Vanilli.
1045
00:47:08,381 --> 00:47:12,283
Sad story. The real singers were
chubby, middle-aged.
1046
00:47:12,285 --> 00:47:13,685
They thought
they couldn't sell records,
1047
00:47:13,687 --> 00:47:16,754
so these dudes
posed as the singers.
1048
00:47:16,756 --> 00:47:18,424
That's really sad.
1049
00:47:18,426 --> 00:47:19,558
Yeah.
1050
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,728
And when their fans found out,
they were really angry,
1051
00:47:22,730 --> 00:47:24,696
they threw out
their records.
1052
00:47:24,698 --> 00:47:26,765
People burned them,
which is too bad,
1053
00:47:26,767 --> 00:47:30,603
because this is cheesy music
at it's best.
1054
00:47:30,605 --> 00:47:32,638
Are you saying
this is a rare artifact
1055
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,210
that was rejected by
millions of people?
1056
00:47:36,343 --> 00:47:37,842
Yeah,
I guess I am.
1057
00:47:37,844 --> 00:47:39,381
It's perfect.
1058
00:47:40,013 --> 00:47:41,950
Well,
it's all yours.
1059
00:47:42,482 --> 00:47:44,285
A freebie
for the weirdo.
1060
00:47:45,386 --> 00:47:46,922
Host: Hi,
is this Irene Willis?
1061
00:47:47,555 --> 00:47:50,656
On behalf of the production
here at Total Talent Showdown,
1062
00:47:50,658 --> 00:47:52,824
that was maybe the most
ridiculous audition
1063
00:47:52,826 --> 00:47:55,661
we've just ever seen,
but in a very, very good way.
1064
00:47:55,663 --> 00:47:56,962
It was
very good.
1065
00:47:56,964 --> 00:47:57,933
They like us!
1066
00:47:58,866 --> 00:48:01,533
Honestly, you and your crew,
very timely.
1067
00:48:01,535 --> 00:48:03,736
With the old and the young
and the dancing.
1068
00:48:03,738 --> 00:48:06,605
Very fresh, it's gonna make
for great television.
1069
00:48:06,607 --> 00:48:07,909
They think
we're fresh!
1070
00:48:08,743 --> 00:48:09,908
They're being sarcastic.
1071
00:48:09,910 --> 00:48:12,511
Can you and your crew
make it for an audition tomorrow
1072
00:48:12,513 --> 00:48:14,480
at Yorkdale mall
in Toronto?
1073
00:48:14,482 --> 00:48:16,750
I'm gonna put you in
for 12:15.
1074
00:48:17,350 --> 00:48:19,350
We have an audition tomorrow
at Yorkdale mall
1075
00:48:19,352 --> 00:48:21,322
at 12:15
in Toronto!
1076
00:48:22,290 --> 00:48:24,056
How are we gonna
get there?
1077
00:48:24,058 --> 00:48:25,824
It will be taped
for broadcast,
1078
00:48:25,826 --> 00:48:27,826
so there will be some
release forms...
1079
00:48:27,828 --> 00:48:28,797
We'll be there!
1080
00:48:30,364 --> 00:48:31,366
We'll be there!
1081
00:48:31,631 --> 00:48:33,732
[dead phone line]
1082
00:48:33,734 --> 00:48:34,500
Hello?
1083
00:48:34,502 --> 00:48:35,600
Borrow the bus?
1084
00:48:35,602 --> 00:48:36,634
Are you
kidding me?
1085
00:48:36,636 --> 00:48:37,402
For what?
1086
00:48:37,404 --> 00:48:40,038
Um, an extracurricular
activity.
1087
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:40,707
No.
1088
00:48:40,709 --> 00:48:41,708
But we need
the bus,
1089
00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:42,841
it's the only thing
that will fit everyone!
1090
00:48:42,843 --> 00:48:43,908
For what?
1091
00:48:43,910 --> 00:48:44,942
...A field trip.
1092
00:48:44,944 --> 00:48:45,844
Where?
1093
00:48:45,846 --> 00:48:47,045
Uh,
to a place?
1094
00:48:47,047 --> 00:48:50,683
Listen, Irene, there is nobody
qualified to drive this bus.
1095
00:48:50,685 --> 00:48:51,283
No one!
1096
00:48:51,285 --> 00:48:52,518
We could
take a risk!
1097
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:53,351
No-it's illegal!
1098
00:48:53,353 --> 00:48:55,321
But a lot of things
were illegal
1099
00:48:55,323 --> 00:48:57,056
before people
just started doing it.
1100
00:48:57,058 --> 00:48:59,460
Like oral sex
in Connecticut.
1101
00:48:59,727 --> 00:49:00,993
Be ahead
of the times!
1102
00:49:00,995 --> 00:49:04,299
No, I'm not losing
my shitty job over this.
1103
00:49:04,931 --> 00:49:06,433
These are
my keys.
1104
00:49:06,667 --> 00:49:08,937
This is
the bus key.
1105
00:49:10,971 --> 00:49:12,770
The bus is now
out of commission.
1106
00:49:12,772 --> 00:49:16,341
[laughing]
1107
00:49:16,343 --> 00:49:17,842
We need to
steal the bus!
1108
00:49:17,844 --> 00:49:20,045
The producer says they're
taping us at 12:15 tomorrow...
1109
00:49:20,047 --> 00:49:21,480
we can't
be late!
1110
00:49:21,482 --> 00:49:22,647
Okay.
1111
00:49:22,649 --> 00:49:25,917
Oh, so-so maybe-you told
me your mother drives a limo.
1112
00:49:25,919 --> 00:49:27,618
Maybe she could
help us?
1113
00:49:27,620 --> 00:49:28,487
Are you kidding?
1114
00:49:28,489 --> 00:49:30,089
My Mom doesn't even know
I'm suspended!
1115
00:49:30,091 --> 00:49:32,091
All of this
has to be a secret!
1116
00:49:32,093 --> 00:49:33,295
Okay.
1117
00:49:34,928 --> 00:49:36,462
Anybody
got any drugs?
1118
00:49:36,464 --> 00:49:38,897
I think we need to drug that
homosexual in khakis
1119
00:49:38,899 --> 00:49:40,498
so we can
steal his keys.
1120
00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:42,801
It's impossible to get drugs
in this place.
1121
00:49:42,803 --> 00:49:43,935
Charles:
Leave it to me.
1122
00:49:43,937 --> 00:49:47,075
I'll get those damn keys
if it's the last thing I do.
1123
00:49:47,908 --> 00:49:48,841
Everyone?
1124
00:49:48,843 --> 00:49:50,908
Meet outside
the retirement home at 10am.
1125
00:49:50,910 --> 00:49:53,914
♪
1126
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:55,848
[pouring]
1127
00:49:55,850 --> 00:49:58,853
♪
1128
00:50:04,759 --> 00:50:06,091
[sniffing]
1129
00:50:06,093 --> 00:50:09,096
♪
1130
00:50:11,931 --> 00:50:14,636
[doorbell ringing]
1131
00:50:17,872 --> 00:50:19,341
Can
I help you?
1132
00:50:19,607 --> 00:50:21,009
You're Irene's mom,
right?
1133
00:50:22,475 --> 00:50:23,942
Who the hell
are you?
1134
00:50:23,944 --> 00:50:25,046
I'm a friend.
1135
00:50:25,678 --> 00:50:27,514
Irene doesn't
have any friends.
1136
00:50:29,015 --> 00:50:30,951
I'm... a colleague.
1137
00:50:31,819 --> 00:50:36,087
[vacuum whirring]
1138
00:50:36,089 --> 00:50:37,522
Missed a spot.
1139
00:50:37,524 --> 00:50:40,527
♪
1140
00:50:59,980 --> 00:51:01,483
How was school?
1141
00:51:04,185 --> 00:51:05,083
Good.
1142
00:51:05,085 --> 00:51:06,884
Stop lying
to me.
1143
00:51:06,886 --> 00:51:07,988
Sit down.
1144
00:51:10,890 --> 00:51:13,926
Drinking vodka
and replacing it with water?
1145
00:51:13,928 --> 00:51:15,928
It didn't work
when I was your age.
1146
00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:17,565
It doesn't
work now.
1147
00:51:18,131 --> 00:51:19,600
I didn't
drink that.
1148
00:51:20,533 --> 00:51:22,134
I know about
your suspension.
1149
00:51:22,136 --> 00:51:23,701
The retirement home?
1150
00:51:23,703 --> 00:51:25,069
I know.
1151
00:51:25,071 --> 00:51:26,571
Who told you?
1152
00:51:26,573 --> 00:51:27,608
A friend.
1153
00:51:29,009 --> 00:51:30,678
I don't have
any friends.
1154
00:51:31,946 --> 00:51:33,882
It was
a colleague.
1155
00:51:36,484 --> 00:51:37,216
[grunting]
1156
00:51:37,218 --> 00:51:39,551
♪
1157
00:51:39,553 --> 00:51:40,786
Bitch!
1158
00:51:40,788 --> 00:51:46,792
♪
1159
00:51:46,794 --> 00:51:47,893
Shit!
1160
00:51:47,895 --> 00:51:50,899
♪
1161
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,232
[safe crashes]
1162
00:51:54,234 --> 00:51:55,132
♪
1163
00:51:55,134 --> 00:51:56,868
Asshole!
1164
00:51:56,870 --> 00:51:57,803
God!
1165
00:51:57,805 --> 00:51:59,605
Just listen up.
1166
00:51:59,607 --> 00:52:01,973
Does anyone know
how to hotwire?
1167
00:52:01,975 --> 00:52:04,542
Do we look like
car thieves to you?
1168
00:52:04,544 --> 00:52:06,678
You look like
fast learners.
1169
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,681
How the hell are we gonna
learn how to hotwire a bus?
1170
00:52:09,683 --> 00:52:12,717
You must be in denial
if you think we can do that.
1171
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:13,986
Wanna hear
about denial?
1172
00:52:13,988 --> 00:52:16,587
She's still
taking birth control.
1173
00:52:16,589 --> 00:52:18,190
It's only to
control my heavy flow.
1174
00:52:18,192 --> 00:52:19,591
I can
hotwire a car.
1175
00:52:19,593 --> 00:52:21,659
The only thing it'll get you
is arrested
1176
00:52:21,661 --> 00:52:25,096
and then the only job you can
get, when you get out of jail,
1177
00:52:25,098 --> 00:52:27,835
is cooking meals
at a shitty retirement home.
1178
00:52:30,103 --> 00:52:32,770
I guess it can't hurt
to do it twice.
1179
00:52:32,772 --> 00:52:34,205
We'll have to
distract Barrett.
1180
00:52:34,207 --> 00:52:35,841
Right.
1181
00:52:35,843 --> 00:52:37,712
I have
an idea.
1182
00:52:38,611 --> 00:52:40,812
Lydia: And don't think about
going out this weekend.
1183
00:52:40,814 --> 00:52:41,879
You are grounded!
1184
00:52:41,881 --> 00:52:43,748
But Mom, there's a really
important thing tomor...
1185
00:52:43,750 --> 00:52:44,716
No!
1186
00:52:44,718 --> 00:52:46,317
Why ground me,
when I'm already in prison?
1187
00:52:46,319 --> 00:52:48,920
Oh, just because I won't allow
the internet in here
1188
00:52:48,922 --> 00:52:50,121
doesn't make
it a prison!
1189
00:52:50,123 --> 00:52:51,156
Yes it does!
1190
00:52:51,158 --> 00:52:53,926
Do you have any idea
how much of a freak I am?!
1191
00:52:53,928 --> 00:52:56,328
Why can't I have a cell phone
like everybody else?
1192
00:52:56,330 --> 00:52:58,964
Cell phones turn perfectly
nice people into assholes!
1193
00:52:58,966 --> 00:53:00,165
Have you looked
around lately?!
1194
00:53:00,167 --> 00:53:02,000
Everyone
is an asshole!
1195
00:53:02,002 --> 00:53:03,601
I wanna
be an asshole!
1196
00:53:03,603 --> 00:53:05,804
I want my daughter to have
an attention span!
1197
00:53:05,806 --> 00:53:07,205
I never had
an attention span!
1198
00:53:07,207 --> 00:53:10,007
I don't want my daughter
to be one of those people
1199
00:53:10,009 --> 00:53:13,245
who's texting when she should be
making eye contact!
1200
00:53:13,247 --> 00:53:15,781
And don't even
get me started on sexting!
1201
00:53:15,783 --> 00:53:16,415
I wanna sext!
1202
00:53:16,417 --> 00:53:17,583
That's all
I wanna do!
1203
00:53:17,585 --> 00:53:21,118
Oh my god, can't you see
that I'm trying to protect you?
1204
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,723
From what?
1205
00:53:22,989 --> 00:53:25,591
You're not like
everybody else, okay?
1206
00:53:25,593 --> 00:53:29,027
Girls like you need to be smart,
you can't be a cheerleader!
1207
00:53:29,029 --> 00:53:30,931
You can't rely
on your beauty!
1208
00:53:31,832 --> 00:53:34,132
That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
1209
00:53:34,134 --> 00:53:36,134
I don't want you
to get bullied, okay?
1210
00:53:36,136 --> 00:53:38,770
Those cyberbullies are,
like, the worst!
1211
00:53:38,772 --> 00:53:40,172
I wanna be
cyberbullied!
1212
00:53:40,174 --> 00:53:41,205
I can
handle it!
1213
00:53:41,207 --> 00:53:42,741
No you can't!
1214
00:53:42,743 --> 00:53:45,210
Just admit it,
you're embarrassed by me!
1215
00:53:45,212 --> 00:53:46,911
You, come down here,
right now.
1216
00:53:46,913 --> 00:53:49,714
You got nothing out of life,
except for a fat daughter
1217
00:53:49,716 --> 00:53:50,815
you wish
you'd never had.
1218
00:53:50,817 --> 00:53:53,317
Maybe if you recognize
that your body is a temple,
1219
00:53:53,319 --> 00:53:55,319
like I have been
trying to teach you!
1220
00:53:55,321 --> 00:53:57,121
Aren't temples and churches
open to all?
1221
00:53:57,123 --> 00:54:00,125
So what are you saying,
you want me to be a slut?
1222
00:54:00,127 --> 00:54:03,194
Irene, you're overweight.
1223
00:54:03,196 --> 00:54:05,364
Well, it's better to be
over something than under it!
1224
00:54:05,366 --> 00:54:06,332
What?
1225
00:54:06,334 --> 00:54:09,100
Over the moon,
over-achiever... overalls!
1226
00:54:09,102 --> 00:54:10,134
Stop it!
1227
00:54:10,136 --> 00:54:11,636
I'm fat.
1228
00:54:11,638 --> 00:54:13,071
I don't mind
being fat!
1229
00:54:13,073 --> 00:54:17,844
And if it offends you so much,
I love being fat.
1230
00:54:18,312 --> 00:54:19,580
[door slamming]
1231
00:54:20,948 --> 00:54:23,714
Irene, I am just trying to be
your mother, here.
1232
00:54:23,716 --> 00:54:24,882
You're not
my mother!
1233
00:54:24,884 --> 00:54:26,888
Geena Davis
is my mother!
1234
00:54:27,921 --> 00:54:28,723
That's it.
1235
00:54:29,323 --> 00:54:30,321
What are you
doing?
1236
00:54:30,323 --> 00:54:31,957
Why can't you
just be normal...
1237
00:54:31,959 --> 00:54:32,690
Stop it!
1238
00:54:32,692 --> 00:54:33,324
...and like...
1239
00:54:33,326 --> 00:54:34,058
Stop it!
1240
00:54:34,060 --> 00:54:35,761
...Taylor Swift?!
1241
00:54:35,763 --> 00:54:38,696
♪
1242
00:54:38,698 --> 00:54:39,633
[door slamming]
1243
00:54:41,134 --> 00:54:42,337
[sniffling]
1244
00:54:42,770 --> 00:54:46,904
[crickets chirring]
1245
00:54:46,906 --> 00:54:48,940
[dog barking]
1246
00:54:48,942 --> 00:54:51,713
[birds chirping]
1247
00:54:53,212 --> 00:55:06,024
[creaking]
1248
00:55:06,026 --> 00:55:07,228
Mom?
1249
00:55:10,397 --> 00:55:12,100
What are you
doing?
1250
00:55:12,799 --> 00:55:13,765
Open the door!
1251
00:55:13,767 --> 00:55:15,167
What am I supposed
to do?
1252
00:55:15,169 --> 00:55:16,335
You're grounded!
1253
00:55:16,337 --> 00:55:19,103
Mom, why can't we just finish
fighting like normal people?
1254
00:55:19,105 --> 00:55:21,205
Because you're
not normal!
1255
00:55:21,207 --> 00:55:22,406
I gotta
go to work.
1256
00:55:22,408 --> 00:55:24,009
I'll be back
in an hour.
1257
00:55:24,011 --> 00:55:27,015
♪
1258
00:55:29,716 --> 00:55:30,785
[frustrated sigh]
1259
00:55:31,317 --> 00:55:32,484
That's it.
1260
00:55:32,486 --> 00:55:33,754
I quit.
1261
00:55:34,922 --> 00:55:37,788
[sighing]
1262
00:55:37,790 --> 00:55:40,794
♪
1263
00:55:48,402 --> 00:55:49,567
Hello?
1264
00:55:49,569 --> 00:55:55,239
Geena: Irene, the farther
you draw back an arrow,
1265
00:55:55,241 --> 00:55:59,143
the farther, faster,
and stronger it will fly.
1266
00:55:59,145 --> 00:56:00,779
Where am I?
1267
00:56:00,781 --> 00:56:02,413
Infinite darkness.
1268
00:56:02,415 --> 00:56:04,882
It's a great place
for interpretive dance.
1269
00:56:04,884 --> 00:56:06,951
Also for shooting
'80s music videos.
1270
00:56:06,953 --> 00:56:09,888
Madonna's "Live to Tell"
was shot here.
1271
00:56:09,890 --> 00:56:11,455
Am I dead?
1272
00:56:11,457 --> 00:56:13,158
No, Irene.
1273
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,127
You are
very much alive!
1274
00:56:16,129 --> 00:56:18,929
But, I'm not exactly on my way
to dating a jock
1275
00:56:18,931 --> 00:56:20,766
or becoming
a cheerleader.
1276
00:56:20,768 --> 00:56:22,900
You're a liar,
Geena Davis!
1277
00:56:22,902 --> 00:56:24,738
I think that was
a bit harsh.
1278
00:56:25,305 --> 00:56:27,438
Isn't it true?
1279
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,375
I know, everything looks
horrible right now,
1280
00:56:30,377 --> 00:56:32,511
but just remember,
even when Thelma and Louise
1281
00:56:32,513 --> 00:56:34,946
lost all
of their money,
1282
00:56:34,948 --> 00:56:37,815
I got to have motel-sex
with Brad Pitt.
1283
00:56:37,817 --> 00:56:39,016
Whoa.
1284
00:56:39,018 --> 00:56:40,518
Accentuate the positive!
1285
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,154
We lost everything,
1286
00:56:42,156 --> 00:56:45,223
but then I got to have
a great character arc!
1287
00:56:45,225 --> 00:56:47,458
Take it from me,
Irene.
1288
00:56:47,460 --> 00:56:50,562
Boys don't like it
when girls are taller than them.
1289
00:56:50,564 --> 00:56:54,199
They also don't like it
when girls are fatter than them.
1290
00:56:54,201 --> 00:56:57,034
But do you know
what we say to that?
1291
00:56:57,036 --> 00:56:59,837
We say
fuck 'em.
1292
00:56:59,839 --> 00:57:02,477
Thou shalt
not quit!
1293
00:57:05,846 --> 00:57:12,984
[breathing heavily]
1294
00:57:12,986 --> 00:57:13,851
♪
1295
00:57:13,853 --> 00:57:15,353
Robbie: Why are we
meeting here?
1296
00:57:15,355 --> 00:57:16,388
It's Saturday.
1297
00:57:16,390 --> 00:57:17,825
We're going
to Mapleview.
1298
00:57:18,892 --> 00:57:20,424
Do you hear
that sound?
1299
00:57:20,426 --> 00:57:24,830
That's the sound of my dick
shrivelling up and dying.
1300
00:57:24,832 --> 00:57:27,431
We can stop at the funeral home
on the way there.
1301
00:57:27,433 --> 00:57:30,036
I'm sure they have
a really tiny casket.
1302
00:57:31,238 --> 00:57:32,337
[air hissing]
1303
00:57:32,339 --> 00:57:35,873
Sarah: How long does it take
for a tire to deflate?
1304
00:57:35,875 --> 00:57:36,607
[grunting]
1305
00:57:36,609 --> 00:57:38,211
You're psycho.
1306
00:57:39,580 --> 00:57:42,784
♪
1307
00:57:49,056 --> 00:57:50,258
Okay, come on,
Millie.
1308
00:57:50,489 --> 00:57:51,459
Let's go.
1309
00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:53,558
Hey...
1310
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,292
Where's Irene?
1311
00:57:54,294 --> 00:57:55,527
I thought
she was with you!
1312
00:57:55,529 --> 00:57:58,533
♪
1313
00:57:58,632 --> 00:58:05,071
[beeping]
1314
00:58:05,272 --> 00:58:05,971
Millie: What next?
1315
00:58:05,973 --> 00:58:07,471
Do you see that
yellow wire?
1316
00:58:07,473 --> 00:58:08,005
Yeah.
1317
00:58:08,007 --> 00:58:09,507
Yeah,
pull it out.
1318
00:58:09,509 --> 00:58:10,007
Okay.
1319
00:58:10,009 --> 00:58:11,208
Can we
hurry it up?
1320
00:58:11,210 --> 00:58:14,545
Because Irene isn't even here,
we have to go and pick her up!
1321
00:58:14,547 --> 00:58:16,915
Oh, for heaven's sake,
hold your horses!
1322
00:58:16,917 --> 00:58:19,286
Takes patience
to hotwire a bus.
1323
00:58:20,053 --> 00:58:21,920
♪
1324
00:58:21,922 --> 00:58:25,489
Oh, Ruth,
I thought you had
1325
00:58:25,491 --> 00:58:28,426
at least another decade
left in you.
1326
00:58:28,428 --> 00:58:32,998
I should have just
given you the Vicodin.
1327
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:37,034
You were a pain in the ass,
but I'll miss you.
1328
00:58:37,036 --> 00:58:39,304
Alright, now spark
those wires together.
1329
00:58:39,306 --> 00:58:40,138
Millie: Ooh!
1330
00:58:40,140 --> 00:58:41,239
[engine starts up]
1331
00:58:41,241 --> 00:58:43,641
I should start
stealing cars.
1332
00:58:43,643 --> 00:58:46,613
You were special
a special lady, Ruth...
1333
00:58:48,982 --> 00:58:49,984
Spencer.
1334
00:58:50,584 --> 00:58:52,583
I am special.
1335
00:58:52,585 --> 00:58:56,054
I just convinced you that I was
dead for a whole minute.
1336
00:58:56,056 --> 00:58:57,656
Why are you
pretending to be dead?
1337
00:58:57,658 --> 00:58:59,123
A decade?
1338
00:58:59,125 --> 00:59:01,562
I've got at least three left,
shithead!
1339
00:59:02,629 --> 00:59:03,560
Hurry up!
1340
00:59:03,562 --> 00:59:05,362
Okay, I'm coming!
1341
00:59:05,364 --> 00:59:06,431
Hurry!
1342
00:59:06,433 --> 00:59:08,933
[panting]
1343
00:59:08,935 --> 00:59:10,567
[laughing]
1344
00:59:10,569 --> 00:59:12,170
What the hell
are you doing?!
1345
00:59:12,172 --> 00:59:13,337
Get back here!
1346
00:59:13,339 --> 00:59:15,507
That's my bus!
1347
00:59:15,509 --> 00:59:16,641
You don't have
right...
1348
00:59:16,643 --> 00:59:18,009
This should
be good.
1349
00:59:18,011 --> 00:59:20,645
Get back here!
1350
00:59:20,647 --> 00:59:23,047
You come right
back here, Ruth...
1351
00:59:23,049 --> 00:59:24,484
Spencer!
1352
00:59:25,118 --> 00:59:27,217
Ruth: Thank you
for starting the bus.
1353
00:59:27,219 --> 00:59:29,187
Tony: Actually,
she did it all herself.
1354
00:59:29,189 --> 00:59:30,355
Ruth: Millie?!
1355
00:59:30,357 --> 00:59:33,223
From resident slut
to criminal.
1356
00:59:33,225 --> 00:59:36,094
♪
1357
00:59:36,096 --> 00:59:37,261
Hey!
1358
00:59:37,263 --> 00:59:38,029
Hey, Irene!
1359
00:59:38,031 --> 00:59:39,200
Irene, come on!
1360
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,002
Come on down!
1361
00:59:42,435 --> 00:59:43,435
You got
the bus?
1362
00:59:43,437 --> 00:59:44,234
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1363
00:59:44,236 --> 00:59:44,669
Come on!
1364
00:59:44,671 --> 00:59:45,703
Come on down!
1365
00:59:45,705 --> 00:59:47,304
I can't,
I'm trapped in here!
1366
00:59:47,306 --> 00:59:49,341
My mom
locked me in!
1367
00:59:49,343 --> 00:59:49,975
[chuckling]
1368
00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:51,710
You're gonna
have to jump!
1369
00:59:51,712 --> 00:59:53,147
I can't jump!
1370
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,683
I'll catch you.
1371
00:59:56,216 --> 00:59:58,049
I'll kill you.
1372
00:59:58,051 --> 00:59:59,583
We've got
expired cartilage
1373
00:59:59,585 --> 01:00:03,020
and look at what
you've been making us do!
1374
01:00:03,022 --> 01:00:06,026
♪
1375
01:00:12,565 --> 01:00:13,998
Okay.
1376
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:15,199
Yes,
you can do it!
1377
01:00:15,201 --> 01:00:17,469
Yes, yes!
1378
01:00:17,471 --> 01:00:18,506
Perfect.
1379
01:00:19,605 --> 01:00:21,272
Ruth:
You can do it!
1380
01:00:21,274 --> 01:00:21,940
Okay.
1381
01:00:21,942 --> 01:00:22,674
Ruth:
Come on, Irene!
1382
01:00:22,676 --> 01:00:23,107
Come on.
1383
01:00:23,109 --> 01:00:23,708
Ruth: Jump!
1384
01:00:23,710 --> 01:00:25,442
Irene:
Oh my god!
1385
01:00:25,444 --> 01:00:28,048
[groaning]
1386
01:00:32,051 --> 01:00:33,083
Oh my god.
1387
01:00:33,085 --> 01:00:34,219
Are you okay?
1388
01:00:34,221 --> 01:00:36,390
Yeah, no...
I'm okay, I'm okay.
1389
01:00:37,156 --> 01:00:37,554
Let's go.
1390
01:00:37,556 --> 01:00:38,288
Okay.
1391
01:00:38,290 --> 01:00:39,757
Okay.
1392
01:00:39,759 --> 01:00:43,631
[wheels screeching]
1393
01:00:45,165 --> 01:00:46,200
Are you guys
ready?
1394
01:00:46,433 --> 01:00:47,665
Just remember
to smile.
1395
01:00:47,667 --> 01:00:48,732
Okay.
1396
01:00:48,734 --> 01:00:49,266
Okay.
1397
01:00:49,268 --> 01:00:50,801
[bus speeding past]
1398
01:00:50,803 --> 01:00:54,007
♪
1399
01:01:02,214 --> 01:01:02,714
[door slams]
1400
01:01:02,716 --> 01:01:04,484
Lydia: Irene?!
1401
01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:07,484
Year and make
of the stolen vehicle?
1402
01:01:07,486 --> 01:01:11,522
1999 white shortbus.
1403
01:01:11,524 --> 01:01:13,525
And who do you suspect
of stealing it?
1404
01:01:13,527 --> 01:01:14,558
The residents.
1405
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:16,361
The residents?
1406
01:01:16,363 --> 01:01:19,230
The residents of this
retirement home.
1407
01:01:19,232 --> 01:01:21,833
Are you telling me the old
people of this retirement home
1408
01:01:21,835 --> 01:01:23,400
stole the bus?
1409
01:01:23,402 --> 01:01:24,171
Yes.
1410
01:01:26,705 --> 01:01:27,507
Cool.
1411
01:01:28,308 --> 01:01:30,074
[brakes screeching]
1412
01:01:30,076 --> 01:01:32,844
Where the hell
is my daughter?
1413
01:01:32,846 --> 01:01:35,813
Ninja, ninja,
ninja, ninja.
1414
01:01:35,815 --> 01:01:37,082
And more cheer.
1415
01:01:37,084 --> 01:01:39,317
So ready, okay.
1416
01:01:39,319 --> 01:01:40,851
5, 6, 7, 8.
1417
01:01:40,853 --> 01:01:42,853
I should have been
a bus driver.
1418
01:01:42,855 --> 01:01:45,255
Just what the world needs:
a slutty bus driver!
1419
01:01:45,257 --> 01:01:47,458
Okay, Ruth,
I've had it.
1420
01:01:47,460 --> 01:01:49,493
I want you
to treat me with respect!
1421
01:01:49,495 --> 01:01:50,562
Ruth: I do.
1422
01:01:50,564 --> 01:01:52,297
I respect anyone who's
vagina'sbeen through so much
1423
01:01:52,299 --> 01:01:53,464
it's written
a "tell all".
1424
01:01:53,466 --> 01:01:56,533
It's even made it on the New
York Times Best Sellers List.
1425
01:01:56,535 --> 01:01:58,268
Stop bullying me!
1426
01:01:58,270 --> 01:01:59,304
I'm not bullying
anyone.
1427
01:01:59,306 --> 01:02:00,370
I love sluts!
1428
01:02:00,372 --> 01:02:02,440
Apologize!
1429
01:02:02,442 --> 01:02:03,540
[wheels screeching]
1430
01:02:03,542 --> 01:02:05,176
Charles: Millie,
slow down!
1431
01:02:05,178 --> 01:02:06,777
Ruth: Jesus,
don't kill us!
1432
01:02:06,779 --> 01:02:07,812
Okay, I'm sorry.
1433
01:02:07,814 --> 01:02:11,583
Barrett: Well,
one of our residents, Ruth...
1434
01:02:11,585 --> 01:02:13,217
Hi!
1435
01:02:13,219 --> 01:02:14,618
Where is she?
1436
01:02:14,620 --> 01:02:15,886
We know
where she's headed,
1437
01:02:15,888 --> 01:02:17,855
Not sure
she'll get there, though.
1438
01:02:17,857 --> 01:02:21,525
You know, I've always wanted
to ride in the back of a limo.
1439
01:02:21,527 --> 01:02:24,194
♪
1440
01:02:24,196 --> 01:02:25,263
Millie, slow down!
1441
01:02:25,265 --> 01:02:26,364
Oh my god!
1442
01:02:26,366 --> 01:02:28,900
I'm trying, but...
1443
01:02:28,902 --> 01:02:31,301
I think we may
have a flat tire!
1444
01:02:31,303 --> 01:02:35,075
[wheels screeching]
1445
01:02:36,343 --> 01:02:38,245
Is everybody alright?
1446
01:02:38,611 --> 01:02:39,810
What time
is it?
1447
01:02:39,812 --> 01:02:41,245
Here.
1448
01:02:41,247 --> 01:02:42,082
Shit!
1449
01:02:45,585 --> 01:02:49,254
[groaning]
1450
01:02:49,256 --> 01:02:50,524
It's a flat.
1451
01:02:51,190 --> 01:02:52,422
[gasping]
1452
01:02:52,424 --> 01:02:54,424
Charles:
Oh, no.
1453
01:02:54,426 --> 01:02:56,594
[sighing]
1454
01:02:56,596 --> 01:02:59,200
We ain't
going to Toronto.
1455
01:02:59,533 --> 01:03:01,134
We're screwed.
1456
01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:06,304
We're not going to make it
to the audition, guys.
1457
01:03:06,306 --> 01:03:09,406
But we practiced!
1458
01:03:09,408 --> 01:03:12,509
[seniors talking]
1459
01:03:12,511 --> 01:03:14,114
Millie:
Don't cry, Irene.
1460
01:03:15,482 --> 01:03:16,948
'Kay.
Keep an eye out, please.
1461
01:03:16,950 --> 01:03:20,286
Look out that window,
see if they're on that side.
1462
01:03:22,721 --> 01:03:24,859
This is the coolest
Limo ever.
1463
01:03:26,426 --> 01:03:28,529
[sighing]
1464
01:03:31,397 --> 01:03:33,830
[Sarah chuckling]
1465
01:03:33,832 --> 01:03:35,833
[Sarah's voice echoing]
Do talk to me.
1466
01:03:35,835 --> 01:03:39,370
Lydia: I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself.
1467
01:03:39,372 --> 01:03:40,938
Robbie: You're fat.
1468
01:03:40,940 --> 01:03:45,542
Lydia: You can't
be a cheerleader!
1469
01:03:45,544 --> 01:03:49,279
Geena: This town doesn't need
another regular cheerleader.
1470
01:03:49,281 --> 01:03:51,649
This town
needs you.
1471
01:03:51,651 --> 01:03:54,654
♪
1472
01:03:55,488 --> 01:03:57,688
Irene: We're not gonna
make it to the audition,
1473
01:03:57,690 --> 01:03:59,459
but we're gonna
do it anyway.
1474
01:04:00,627 --> 01:04:01,562
Where?
1475
01:04:02,428 --> 01:04:03,895
See that plaza?
1476
01:04:03,897 --> 01:04:05,763
We're gonna do it
right there.
1477
01:04:05,765 --> 01:04:06,834
What?
1478
01:04:09,569 --> 01:04:10,201
Come on!
1479
01:04:10,203 --> 01:04:11,603
Come on,
get ready!
1480
01:04:11,605 --> 01:04:12,603
[confused mumbling]
1481
01:04:12,605 --> 01:04:14,638
Tesh: I've got the tape;
I'll press play.
1482
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:15,575
Alright.
1483
01:04:19,678 --> 01:04:20,310
♪
1484
01:04:20,312 --> 01:04:22,215
Okay, come on,
let's go!
1485
01:04:24,317 --> 01:04:25,250
We can
do this!
1486
01:04:25,252 --> 01:04:27,221
Irene: Come on.
Yeah, come over here!
1487
01:04:30,556 --> 01:04:31,792
Okay,
get into positions.
1488
01:04:33,993 --> 01:04:34,928
Yeah, right there.
1489
01:04:35,629 --> 01:04:36,828
Ruth: Song's
about to start!
1490
01:04:36,830 --> 01:04:39,833
♪
1491
01:04:47,806 --> 01:04:50,275
♪ Blame it on the rain ♪
1492
01:04:50,277 --> 01:04:51,442
♪
1493
01:04:51,444 --> 01:04:52,777
♪ [yeah, yeah] ♪
1494
01:04:52,779 --> 01:04:54,911
♪ Blame it on the stars ♪
1495
01:04:54,913 --> 01:04:55,879
♪
1496
01:04:55,881 --> 01:04:57,415
♪ [woo] ♪
1497
01:04:57,417 --> 01:05:00,421
♪
1498
01:05:04,924 --> 01:05:08,058
♪ You said
you didn't need her ♪
1499
01:05:08,060 --> 01:05:09,694
What the fuck?
1500
01:05:09,696 --> 01:05:11,728
♪ You told her
good-bye ♪
1501
01:05:11,730 --> 01:05:13,364
♪ [goodbye] ♪
1502
01:05:13,366 --> 01:05:14,232
♪
1503
01:05:14,234 --> 01:05:17,567
♪ You sacrificed
a good love ♪
1504
01:05:17,569 --> 01:05:19,536
♪
1505
01:05:19,538 --> 01:05:21,306
♪ To satisfy
your pride ♪
1506
01:05:21,308 --> 01:05:24,311
♪
1507
01:05:24,477 --> 01:05:27,045
♪ Now you wished
that you should have her ♪
1508
01:05:27,047 --> 01:05:28,578
♪ [have her] ♪
1509
01:05:28,580 --> 01:05:29,913
♪
1510
01:05:29,915 --> 01:05:30,348
[gasping]
1511
01:05:30,350 --> 01:05:31,949
There they are!
1512
01:05:31,951 --> 01:05:33,420
There they are...
pull over!
1513
01:05:34,353 --> 01:05:35,453
♪
1514
01:05:35,455 --> 01:05:37,989
♪ Now it just don't
feel the same ♪
1515
01:05:37,991 --> 01:05:39,390
♪ Gotta blame it... ♪
1516
01:05:39,392 --> 01:05:40,924
Oh my god!
1517
01:05:40,926 --> 01:05:43,430
♪ Gotta blame it
on something ♪
1518
01:05:44,730 --> 01:05:45,763
That's my mom!
1519
01:05:45,765 --> 01:05:48,665
I'm going to be your mom
for the next ten seconds.
1520
01:05:48,667 --> 01:05:51,703
If you stop dancing, I'm gonna
slap the shit out of you!
1521
01:05:51,705 --> 01:05:54,004
♪ ...did shine
at night ♪
1522
01:05:54,006 --> 01:05:58,942
♪ Whatever you do
don't put the blame on you ♪
1523
01:05:58,944 --> 01:06:00,578
♪ Blame it
on the... ♪
1524
01:06:00,580 --> 01:06:06,484
[laughing]
1525
01:06:06,486 --> 01:06:07,085
Oh my god.
1526
01:06:07,087 --> 01:06:10,291
♪
1527
01:06:11,123 --> 01:06:13,757
♪ Should've told her
you were sorry ♪
1528
01:06:13,759 --> 01:06:15,525
♪ [sorry] ♪
1529
01:06:15,527 --> 01:06:18,362
♪ Ha-could have said
you were wrong ♪
1530
01:06:18,364 --> 01:06:20,998
♪
1531
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,134
♪ But no you couldn't
do that ♪
1532
01:06:23,136 --> 01:06:23,971
One more.
1533
01:06:25,471 --> 01:06:26,737
Yep.
1534
01:06:26,739 --> 01:06:30,674
♪ No, no, had to prove
you were strong o-oh ♪
1535
01:06:30,676 --> 01:06:33,076
♪ If you hadn't been
so blinded ♪
1536
01:06:33,078 --> 01:06:34,647
Both: So cute.
1537
01:06:35,614 --> 01:06:38,082
♪ She might
still be there with you ♪
1538
01:06:38,084 --> 01:06:39,049
♪
1539
01:06:39,051 --> 01:06:41,919
♪ You want her
back again ♪
1540
01:06:41,921 --> 01:06:44,855
♪ But she just
don't feel the same ♪
1541
01:06:44,857 --> 01:06:46,656
♪ Gotta blame it
on something ♪
1542
01:06:46,658 --> 01:06:48,458
♪ [gotta blame it
on something] ♪
1543
01:06:48,460 --> 01:06:50,127
♪ Gotta blame it
on something ♪
1544
01:06:50,129 --> 01:06:51,495
Onlooker: Woo-hoo!
1545
01:06:51,497 --> 01:06:55,632
♪ Blame it on the rain
that was falling, falling ♪
1546
01:06:55,634 --> 01:07:00,605
♪ Blame it on the stars
that did shine that night ♪
1547
01:07:00,607 --> 01:07:05,542
♪ Whatever you do
don't put the blame on you ♪
1548
01:07:05,544 --> 01:07:11,415
♪ Blame it on the rain,
yeah, yeah ♪
1549
01:07:11,417 --> 01:07:13,884
♪ I'm gonna
blame it on the rain ♪
1550
01:07:13,886 --> 01:07:16,453
♪ 'Cause the rain
don't mind ♪
1551
01:07:16,455 --> 01:07:19,123
♪ And the rain
don't care ♪
1552
01:07:19,125 --> 01:07:22,759
♪ You got to
blame it on something ♪
1553
01:07:22,761 --> 01:07:27,598
♪ Blame it
on the rain, yeah, yeah ♪
1554
01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:32,670
♪ Blame it
on the rain, yeah, yeah ♪
1555
01:07:32,672 --> 01:07:35,473
♪ Blame it
on the rain... ♪
1556
01:07:35,475 --> 01:07:38,842
[cheering]
1557
01:07:38,844 --> 01:07:42,513
♪ Blame it on the stars
that did shine that night ♪
1558
01:07:42,515 --> 01:07:45,518
♪
1559
01:07:48,988 --> 01:07:53,527
♪ I can't, I can't.
I can't, can't stand the rain ♪
1560
01:07:53,759 --> 01:07:58,830
♪ I can't, I can't.
I can't, can't stand the rain ♪
1561
01:07:58,832 --> 01:08:00,031
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1562
01:08:00,033 --> 01:08:04,534
♪ Blame it on the rain
that was falling, falling ♪
1563
01:08:04,536 --> 01:08:09,473
♪ Blame it on the stars
that did shine that night ♪
1564
01:08:09,475 --> 01:08:14,245
♪ Whatever you do,
don't put the blame on you ♪
1565
01:08:14,247 --> 01:08:16,813
♪ Blame it
on the rain ♪
1566
01:08:16,815 --> 01:08:25,856
[cheering]
1567
01:08:25,858 --> 01:08:26,723
Yeah!
1568
01:08:26,725 --> 01:08:27,859
Woo!
1569
01:08:27,861 --> 01:08:30,127
Yes!
1570
01:08:30,129 --> 01:08:31,862
Onlooker: Encore!
1571
01:08:31,864 --> 01:08:33,763
[applauding]
1572
01:08:33,765 --> 01:08:35,031
Tesh: Oh,
we did incredible!
1573
01:08:35,033 --> 01:08:36,033
Millie:
We did it!
1574
01:08:36,035 --> 01:08:37,034
Charles:
We did it!
1575
01:08:37,036 --> 01:08:38,535
Your daughter
is amazing.
1576
01:08:38,537 --> 01:08:39,939
Does she get it
from you?
1577
01:08:42,809 --> 01:08:45,008
You keep laughing at her,
it's not gonna work.
1578
01:08:45,010 --> 01:08:46,910
She doesn't care.
1579
01:08:46,912 --> 01:08:48,045
...but I do.
1580
01:08:48,047 --> 01:08:51,214
And if you bully my daughter
again, you little bitch,
1581
01:08:51,216 --> 01:08:52,885
I'm gonna
call your mom.
1582
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:55,986
Girls like you?
1583
01:08:55,988 --> 01:08:58,054
They peak
in high school.
1584
01:08:58,056 --> 01:09:02,560
Let me tell ya,
it's all downhill from there.
1585
01:09:02,562 --> 01:09:04,794
Onlooker: I gotta run,
but this was amazing.
1586
01:09:04,796 --> 01:09:06,763
You slashed our tires,
didn't you?
1587
01:09:06,765 --> 01:09:08,566
Why do you hate me
so much?
1588
01:09:08,568 --> 01:09:10,567
Why do you have to
be so mean?
1589
01:09:10,569 --> 01:09:12,869
I'm so sorry.
1590
01:09:12,871 --> 01:09:17,607
I don't believe in violence,
but suck my dick.
1591
01:09:17,609 --> 01:09:20,777
[everyone gasping]
1592
01:09:20,779 --> 01:09:22,049
You have
a dick?
1593
01:09:22,814 --> 01:09:24,181
I'm Irene Willis.
1594
01:09:24,183 --> 01:09:25,950
I have everything.
1595
01:09:25,952 --> 01:09:27,120
Want one?
1596
01:09:28,086 --> 01:09:29,121
We need
to go.
1597
01:09:29,788 --> 01:09:31,657
Say goodbye
to your friends.
1598
01:09:32,858 --> 01:09:34,258
Well, we didn't
get on T.V.,
1599
01:09:34,260 --> 01:09:36,997
but you guys
are such good dancers, you know.
1600
01:09:38,297 --> 01:09:40,834
I had
such a good time.
1601
01:09:41,901 --> 01:09:44,136
I never liked the show
anyway.
1602
01:09:45,203 --> 01:09:49,205
Well, at least we brought
some excitement to this plaza!
1603
01:09:49,207 --> 01:09:52,078
Hey, uh, nice hook punch,
by the way.
1604
01:09:52,845 --> 01:09:53,843
Thanks.
1605
01:09:53,845 --> 01:09:56,082
Alright, Irene,
we need to go.
1606
01:09:57,282 --> 01:09:59,150
♪
1607
01:09:59,152 --> 01:10:00,217
[sighing]
1608
01:10:00,219 --> 01:10:01,154
Okay.
1609
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:04,524
Let's go,
we're walking back.
1610
01:10:05,591 --> 01:10:06,960
Come on, Millie.
1611
01:10:07,327 --> 01:10:08,058
Millie: Okay.
1612
01:10:08,060 --> 01:10:09,593
Ruth: I'm sorry.
1613
01:10:09,595 --> 01:10:10,594
Charles:
That was fun.
1614
01:10:10,596 --> 01:10:12,996
♪
1615
01:10:12,998 --> 01:10:17,868
♪ It sweeps through the city
it longs to be pretty, but it... ♪
1616
01:10:17,870 --> 01:10:21,606
You taught those old people
my cheer moves.
1617
01:10:21,608 --> 01:10:22,242
Yeah.
1618
01:10:22,975 --> 01:10:24,808
Well, your diagonals
are off.
1619
01:10:24,810 --> 01:10:26,947
They're, like,
totally sloppy.
1620
01:10:28,180 --> 01:10:29,414
Sorry.
1621
01:10:29,416 --> 01:10:32,350
If you want to be a cheerleader,
you're gonna have to perform
1622
01:10:32,352 --> 01:10:33,918
every move sharply,
you know?
1623
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,656
Everything's gotta
be like a punch!
1624
01:10:39,892 --> 01:10:41,795
I can show you,
if you want.
1625
01:10:43,729 --> 01:10:44,730
Really?
1626
01:10:45,264 --> 01:10:46,300
Yeah.
1627
01:10:47,166 --> 01:10:49,236
But you have to
stop lying to me.
1628
01:10:49,769 --> 01:10:50,634
Mhm.
1629
01:10:50,636 --> 01:10:51,871
Okay.
1630
01:10:53,206 --> 01:10:55,873
[engine starting]
1631
01:10:55,875 --> 01:10:59,310
Lydia: So, how did you get those
old people to move like that?
1632
01:10:59,312 --> 01:11:03,079
Irene: Uh, I gave them
music and alcohol.
1633
01:11:03,081 --> 01:11:06,116
Lydia: Oh, so that's
what you did with my vodka.
1634
01:11:06,118 --> 01:11:10,320
♪ Darker the morning,
it comes without a warning ♪
1635
01:11:10,322 --> 01:11:13,356
♪ Comes without
a morning tune ♪
1636
01:11:13,358 --> 01:11:14,859
Lydia:
Come on, Irene!
1637
01:11:14,861 --> 01:11:17,027
I've got
dinner ready!
1638
01:11:17,029 --> 01:11:17,994
Irene: Okay, Mom!
1639
01:11:17,996 --> 01:11:19,230
Coming!
1640
01:11:19,232 --> 01:11:23,734
♪ ...but it lives in the swamp
all alone ♪
1641
01:11:23,736 --> 01:11:28,239
♪ We ride on our horses
I ask for the torches ♪
1642
01:11:28,241 --> 01:11:29,240
Geena: [sighing]
1643
01:11:29,242 --> 01:11:31,142
I think you're
one of the greats, Irene.
1644
01:11:31,144 --> 01:11:33,276
Thanks for taping me
back together.
1645
01:11:33,278 --> 01:11:35,378
Don't change
for anyone.
1646
01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,914
You got it,
Geena Davis.
1647
01:11:37,916 --> 01:11:40,051
Geena: You don't
need me anymore.
1648
01:11:40,053 --> 01:11:42,186
My work here
is done.
1649
01:11:42,188 --> 01:11:44,021
I still
need you.
1650
01:11:44,023 --> 01:11:46,156
I have to go
back to school tomorrow.
1651
01:11:46,158 --> 01:11:49,093
Everyone's gonna make
fun of me all over again!
1652
01:11:49,095 --> 01:11:50,931
Geena: Other girls
need my help.
1653
01:11:51,964 --> 01:11:53,367
But what
about me?
1654
01:11:54,067 --> 01:11:57,267
Geena: Thank you, for liking me
and not Taylor Swift.
1655
01:11:57,269 --> 01:11:58,938
Goodbye, Irene.
1656
01:11:59,772 --> 01:12:00,640
Geena?
1657
01:12:03,309 --> 01:12:04,344
Geena?
1658
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:07,378
Geena Davis?
1659
01:12:07,380 --> 01:12:09,783
♪ It's not safe ♪
1660
01:12:11,451 --> 01:12:15,985
♪ And you run,
you run, you run ♪
1661
01:12:15,987 --> 01:12:18,823
♪ It's not safe ♪
1662
01:12:18,825 --> 01:12:20,924
♪
1663
01:12:20,926 --> 01:12:22,759
♪ It's not safe ♪
1664
01:12:22,761 --> 01:12:24,794
♪
1665
01:12:24,796 --> 01:12:26,062
♪ It's not... ♪
1666
01:12:26,064 --> 01:12:27,200
What are
you doing?
1667
01:12:28,334 --> 01:12:31,201
Do you ever wish that we
lived in a parallel universe,
1668
01:12:31,203 --> 01:12:33,005
where high school
didn't exist?
1669
01:12:34,206 --> 01:12:36,242
Then where would we all
get fucked up?
1670
01:12:38,077 --> 01:12:42,114
Come on, every Thelma
needs her Louise.
1671
01:12:42,514 --> 01:12:47,250
♪ And you run,
you run, and you run ♪
1672
01:12:47,252 --> 01:12:49,052
Tesh: So when are we
dancing again?
1673
01:12:49,054 --> 01:12:51,254
Irene: I'm gonna teach dance
at the retirement home,
1674
01:12:51,256 --> 01:12:52,757
if you
wanna join?
1675
01:12:52,759 --> 01:12:55,159
Tesh: Obviously
I wanna be there.
1676
01:12:55,161 --> 01:12:57,160
That was the most fun
I've ever had.
1677
01:12:57,162 --> 01:12:59,195
Irene: Me too.
1678
01:12:59,197 --> 01:13:01,030
Tesh:
After you, sister.
1679
01:13:01,032 --> 01:13:02,298
Principal over P.A.:
Good morning, students.
1680
01:13:02,300 --> 01:13:05,770
This is Principal Firestone
with your morning announcements.
1681
01:13:05,772 --> 01:13:08,105
Reminder that the fall fair
committee is gathering
1682
01:13:08,107 --> 01:13:13,477
after school... to discuss
the fall fair dance sock hop.
1683
01:13:13,479 --> 01:13:15,982
Oh my god,
that bitch is staring at us.
1684
01:13:17,215 --> 01:13:19,283
Principal: We are still
looking for a DJ
1685
01:13:19,285 --> 01:13:24,288
who will play appropriate music
for the occasion...
1686
01:13:24,290 --> 01:13:27,490
Get the hell away from her,
or I'll punch you in the vulv.
1687
01:13:27,492 --> 01:13:30,127
I'd like to have a word
with her alone, please.
1688
01:13:30,129 --> 01:13:31,430
It's okay.
1689
01:13:34,233 --> 01:13:36,503
This is pepper spray,
in case you need it.
1690
01:13:39,538 --> 01:13:40,506
Where's Robbie?
1691
01:13:41,139 --> 01:13:42,174
We broke up.
1692
01:13:43,075 --> 01:13:44,240
Sorry about
your eye.
1693
01:13:44,242 --> 01:13:46,377
I have
something to say.
1694
01:13:46,379 --> 01:13:49,012
I respect a girl who can
throw punches like that.
1695
01:13:49,014 --> 01:13:51,347
Especially at... me.
1696
01:13:51,349 --> 01:13:54,351
I know what it's like
to have your mom not get you.
1697
01:13:54,353 --> 01:13:55,886
Okay, this conversation
ends now.
1698
01:13:55,888 --> 01:13:57,056
Geena: Sarah Lindt.
1699
01:14:00,091 --> 01:14:01,228
Did you
hear that?
1700
01:14:02,260 --> 01:14:03,129
Hear what?
1701
01:14:03,962 --> 01:14:06,032
Geena: Sarah Lindt.
1702
01:14:06,331 --> 01:14:11,101
My name is Geena Davis and
I'm going to change your life.
1703
01:14:11,103 --> 01:14:14,107
♪
1704
01:14:20,112 --> 01:14:21,114
Hey!
1705
01:14:21,546 --> 01:14:23,517
Oh,
you go here?
1706
01:14:24,015 --> 01:14:26,353
I, uh, I saw
your dancing online.
1707
01:14:26,586 --> 01:14:29,322
How many hits are you at now,
like a billion?
1708
01:14:30,121 --> 01:14:31,524
You make me
feel funny.
1709
01:14:31,957 --> 01:14:33,356
It's terrifying.
1710
01:14:33,358 --> 01:14:34,490
My name's Jacques.
1711
01:14:34,492 --> 01:14:35,428
Jacques Zimmerman.
1712
01:14:36,095 --> 01:14:38,529
You don't have to shake my hand,
that was weird.
1713
01:14:38,531 --> 01:14:39,128
[bell rings]
1714
01:14:39,130 --> 01:14:40,396
Jacques?
1715
01:14:40,398 --> 01:14:42,967
Do you wanna
do something this weekend?
1716
01:14:42,969 --> 01:14:45,806
You-you wanna
hang out with me?
1717
01:14:46,072 --> 01:14:47,007
Yeah.
1718
01:14:48,108 --> 01:14:50,607
I just wanna let you to know:
my career comes first.
1719
01:14:50,609 --> 01:14:52,610
Also,
I have pepper spray.
1720
01:14:52,612 --> 01:14:54,878
Uh, okay!
1721
01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:55,547
Cool.
1722
01:14:55,549 --> 01:14:57,080
I have
a cell phone now.
1723
01:14:57,082 --> 01:14:58,481
You can
text me on it.
1724
01:14:58,483 --> 01:15:01,886
905-555-0178.
1725
01:15:01,888 --> 01:15:03,520
Sext me as soon
as you can!
1726
01:15:03,522 --> 01:15:04,454
[chuckling]
1727
01:15:04,456 --> 01:15:05,424
Okay.
1728
01:15:06,925 --> 01:15:08,926
Why didn't you
try out for cheer squad?
1729
01:15:08,928 --> 01:15:11,462
I tried, I licked the floor
and everything.
1730
01:15:11,464 --> 01:15:13,463
I have no idea
what you're talking about,
1731
01:15:13,465 --> 01:15:15,401
but we
need you.
1732
01:15:16,368 --> 01:15:17,304
Really?
1733
01:15:18,004 --> 01:15:19,906
We like talent
when we see it.
1734
01:15:20,438 --> 01:15:23,442
♪
1735
01:15:25,044 --> 01:15:26,442
Cheerleader: Okay,
come on you guys.
1736
01:15:26,444 --> 01:15:29,012
Let's stretch those glutes,
warm those hamstrings.
1737
01:15:29,014 --> 01:15:29,746
C'mon.
1738
01:15:29,748 --> 01:15:33,517
♪ Every ruthless daydream ♪
1739
01:15:33,519 --> 01:15:35,088
Lydia: Remember.
1740
01:15:36,255 --> 01:15:38,058
Everything like a...
like a punch!
1741
01:15:39,992 --> 01:15:40,927
Okay.
1742
01:15:42,260 --> 01:15:43,929
Hey, Irene.
1743
01:15:45,197 --> 01:15:47,597
What are you gonna do
if they knock you down?
1744
01:15:47,599 --> 01:15:49,299
I'm gonna
get back up.
1745
01:15:49,301 --> 01:15:50,935
What are you
gonna do?
1746
01:15:50,937 --> 01:15:53,236
I'm gonna get back up
and I'm gonna cheer.
1747
01:15:53,238 --> 01:15:53,971
Great.
1748
01:15:53,973 --> 01:15:56,576
Now remember,
eat the meat!
1749
01:15:58,376 --> 01:15:59,310
Come on, Irene!
1750
01:15:59,312 --> 01:16:00,777
We're waiting
for you!
1751
01:16:00,779 --> 01:16:07,517
♪ Oo-ooh, oo-ooh, oo-ooh,
will you catch me if I fall? ♪
1752
01:16:07,519 --> 01:16:12,623
[cheering]
1753
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:14,624
Irene: Skipping class
to practice a cheer.
1754
01:16:14,626 --> 01:16:16,160
We're so hardcore!
1755
01:16:16,162 --> 01:16:18,594
Cheerleader: Hey, perfect.
1756
01:16:18,596 --> 01:16:20,196
I can't
believe it.
1757
01:16:20,198 --> 01:16:22,298
A fat cheerleader?
1758
01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:24,401
Don't mess with her,
you'll regret it.
1759
01:16:24,403 --> 01:16:26,436
Why?
1760
01:16:26,438 --> 01:16:28,173
She'll punch you
in the face.
1761
01:16:29,341 --> 01:16:31,275
Okay, everyone's here.
1762
01:16:31,277 --> 01:16:32,679
Let's form
a pyramid.
1763
01:16:36,648 --> 01:16:38,315
What are you
doing there?
1764
01:16:38,317 --> 01:16:39,749
I thought you'd
want me here.
1765
01:16:39,751 --> 01:16:40,618
We're athletes!
1766
01:16:40,620 --> 01:16:42,552
And you need to
learn how to climb.
1767
01:16:42,554 --> 01:16:44,056
Let's do
a thigh stand.
1768
01:16:45,023 --> 01:16:46,358
You want me
on top?
1769
01:16:46,692 --> 01:16:48,158
Yes!
1770
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:50,060
We don't have
all day.
1771
01:16:50,062 --> 01:16:53,364
♪ Will you
catch me... ♪
1772
01:16:53,366 --> 01:16:55,164
Geena: They say
the key to success
1773
01:16:55,166 --> 01:16:57,066
is to look
into the future
1774
01:16:57,068 --> 01:16:59,605
and visualize what you
want to become.
1775
01:17:01,172 --> 01:17:06,209
But some creatures are perfect
just the way they are.
1776
01:17:06,211 --> 01:17:10,414
And the special ones,
if they stay alive long enough,
1777
01:17:10,416 --> 01:17:14,183
they grow wings
and fly.
1778
01:17:14,185 --> 01:17:18,755
[cheering]
1779
01:17:18,757 --> 01:17:19,423
Woo!
1780
01:17:19,425 --> 01:17:21,394
Go Possums!
1781
01:17:22,161 --> 01:17:23,529
[fly buzzing]
1782
01:17:27,500 --> 01:17:32,505
♪
124904
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