All language subtitles for THEPIR~1-eng

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"The history of the Pirate Mack,
the Black Macoco."

Macoco the dazzling,
Macoco the fabulous...

...the hawk of the sea,
the prince of pirates...

...whose spirit and legend
will live on through the ages...

...for his immortal deeds,
as hereinafter set forth.

And whose glorious
and formidable exploits...

...are here related in a true history.

Staggering to the imagination
and ravishing the sensibilities...

...with tales of wealth, of gold and silver
beyond dreams of avarice...

...of stolen treasure, of maidens captive,
of villages destroyed...

...of cities decimated
for a whim or a caress.

Macoco.

Where are you now?

What seas do you traverse?

Is it sunrise...

...or sunset where you are?

Say, you don't suppose
he's still alive?

Oh, he can't be.
They must have hanged him by now.

They'll never hang him.

On the moving waters
of the Caribbean he darts about...

...like a dragonfly,
glittering, uncapturable.

Oh, Manuela, the way you talk.
Why, he's nothing but a thief, a criminal.

He's not. He's not.

He's ruthless, magnificent, romantic.

If he saw a woman he wanted,
he'd just come and take her...

...and carry her off on his ship,
but he'd treat her like a queen.

I don't want anyone swooping
down on me like a chicken hawk.

I just want a good, steady man
with a plantation...

...not too big, not too small.

Oh, Casilda, I do wish you
were a little more spiritual.

Don't you ever dream of a man
who will take you out of this village?

Out of this little saucer in the hills?

- Don't you ever...?
- Manuela.

Yes, Aunt Inez?

Oh, my lamb, my sweet,
I've glorious news for you.

What is it, Aunt Inez?

I got you a husband.

You'll be the first of us.

Is it anybody I know?

Oh, you've probably seen him
pass in his carriage.

It's Don Pedro Vargas.

Don Pedro, the new mayor?

Manuela, you'll be the mayor's wife.

But he has a big bay window.

And why not? He lives well.
Who wouldn't have?

But he's so unromantic.

Oh, I don't know,
he's not so unromantic, for a rich man.

- He's the richest man on the island.
- You'll be Do�a Manuela.

- You'll live in the mayor's house.
- He'll never be content to settle here.

- He's been all over the world.
- Isn't that marvelous?

He's on his way to meet you.
So if you'll forgive us...

- Oh, I think it's wonderful.
- Oh, isn't that exciting?

Show a little more feeling, Manuela.

You're the happiest girl
in the world today.

Oh, of course I am.

It's just that it's happening
so suddenly that...

Sudden? Why, I've been working
with the lawyers for two months.

You're an orphan with no dowry,
Manuela.

You must be aware your uncle and I have
been in great financial difficulties.

Oh, I know, Aunt Inez.

Your poor father and mother,
may they rest in peace...

...couldn't have loved
and sheltered you more.

Now you will have an opportunity
of helping us.

Besides making a most advantageous
marriage for yourself.

I know, Aunt Inez,
and I'm very grateful, really I am.

It's just that I shan't know
what to say to him.

Oh, say nothing.

He's not marrying you
to listen to you.

Don Pedro,
welcome to our modest home.

I enter as a humble suppliant.
Where is she?

Cecile, tell the Se�orita Manuela
we are awaiting her.

I have just broken the news to her,
the wonderful news.

She is overwhelmed.

Oh, you make me
the happiest of men.

I had been fearful.

After all, I am a self-made man...

...without the tradition
and culture of your family.

And then, there is a certain,
shall we say, disparity in our ages.

Disparity? Nonsense.

Manuela wouldn't look
at some callow youth.

- She said that?
- I said it.

Oh, she is speechless.

Well, of course I...
I do not come to her empty-handed.

True. There are a few things
to be made clear.

Capucho?

Oh, Capucho, my darling.

Your newly found nephew
eagerly awaits your blessings.

- He has them.
- Where's the list?

Now, a few items that I jotted down,
in case they slipped my mind.

Don Pedro, the arrangements
have been more than generous...

...but there are some things...

capucho's gambling debts,
a matter of honor.

Wouldn't it be more simple to turn the
payments yearly instead of monthly?

Anything, anything you wish.
Take it up with my lawyers.

Oh, of course.
You're getting impatient.

I'll see what's keeping her.

Manuela...!

My dear, allow me to present
the man you are affianced to marry.

Manuela.

I have lived for two years in this
village and I've watched you grow up.

I have traveled and I can say
without boasting...

...that I have seen the fairest women
in the world.

Yet I would pass them all by
for one smile from you.

- charming, isn't he?
- Yes.

You not only have his love
and devotion...

...he's ordered furniture
for your house from Seville...

...brocades from France,
tapestries from Italy...

...and, best of all, your trousseau
has been made by Maison Worth...

...the choicest house in Paris.

Paris.

Paris!

- That pleases you?
- Oh, yes.

Yes. To see Paris!
All my life I've dreamed of that.

The gaiety and color and people.

I've seen it all.

Yes. And the lovely women
all dressed for the evening...

...going to some carnival...
- I shall be happy to tell you about it.

Oh, but you would never be content
to settle here.

Not someone who loves
to travel as you do.

On the contrary...

...traveling involves the sea,
and I cannot bear the sea.

Take my word for it, Manuela.

Home is the perfect spot.

So quiet, so peaceful, so safe.

Home.

May I, please?

Oh, what an exquisite ring.

You must have bought it
on your travels.

Manuela, look at it.
Have you ever seen...

...such a wonderful design?

He is the most thoughtful,
the most generous of men. Isn't he?

Yes, Aunt Inez.

I can't wait to see your trousseau.

It should arrive at Port Sebastion
any time now.

Port Sebastion?

couldn't we go to Port Sebastion
to meet the ship?

Drive 30 miles to meet a ship?

Well, there are dressmakers
at the port...

...and there are sure to be alterations.

Please, Aunt Inez,
I'd so love to see the caribbean.

Caribbean?

Why the Caribbean?

Because it...
It holds a special fascination for me.

It means romance and adventure...

...and, as I shall never have any...

Manuela...

...don't you realize
you're marrying a saint?

Morning and night,
you should burn incense.

You should offer up prayers
and thanks.

I'll make him a good wife.

Really, Aunt Inez.

I realize that there's a practical world
and a dream world.

I know which is which.

I shan't mix them. I promise.

- That's better.
- But if I could only see the Caribbean...

...and just once before I marry,
I'd never speak of it again, ever.

Well, we'll see.

We'll see.

Ladies and gentlemen,
your most kind attention.

Allow me to announce
the arrival of the greatest galaxy...

...of gifted entertainers on Earth.

A brilliant company
of sensational thespians.

And before you,
or should I say above you...

...you see their star.

Serafin of Madrid, Serafin the Great.

The master juggler, conjurer,
dancer and singer of songs.

I and my genial troupe come to you
directly from our triumphs abroad...

...where we have played before
all of the crowned heads of Europe.

We bring to this new world
all the joy, the dexterity...

...the romance of the old,
to please, astonish and delight you.

Tonight we will entertain you
in the heart of your fair city.

Performance at 8:30.
Come one. Come all. Children half price.

Citizens of Port Sebastion, behold
the dramatis personae of whom I speak.

Fellow artists:

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bolo.

Do not confuse him
with ordinary buffoons...

...for his performance on the trapeze
has never been equaled.

And Trillo.

He can juggle seven balls
at the same time...

...balancing a sharp sword
on the tip of his nose.

And for those of more romantic bent,
there is Gumbo...

...who imitates the love call
of the lark...

...at the same time
drinking a cup of water.

And these two canine marvels
of the animal kingdom...

...who walk like dogs
but think like men.

Ladies and gentlemen, come tonight...

...and see for yourselves
the magic of our art.

Going someplace?

Ah, yes. I go to survey the terrain
in advance of conquest.

How do you manage
to get out of the work?

- Yeah.
- Gumbo, do not ask me to explain...

...the mysteries of genius.

- Now, wait a minute...
- Boys...

...here is my last cigar.

Divide it among you.

I was keeping it lit for you.

Ni�a.

Beautiful town you have here, sir.
Beautiful.

- You're one of the actors, aren't you?
- Then you know.

Ni�a.

Ni�a.

Say, why do call all the girls Ni�a?

My friend...

...there are so many beautiful girls
in the world with so many names...

...I find it very confusing.
So I've simplified things.

I use one name.

But why... Why did you pick Ni�a?

Yes, why Ni�a?

Why not?

When I arrive in any town

I look the ladies up and down

And when I pick my favorite flame

This is my patter, no matter her name

- Ni�a.
- My name is Luisa.

But you could be Ni�a for me.
couldn't you? Ni�a?

Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

Fascinating Ni�a

What a lovely child

Ni�a, you enchant me
Ni�a, you're so sweet, I mean you

Fairly drive me wild

Ni�a, till the moment you hit my heart

Ni�a, I was doing just fine

But since I've seen you

Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

I'll be having neurasthenia

Till I make you mine
Till I make you

Till I make you mine,
till I make you mine

Till I make you mine

Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

Ni�a, till the moment you hit my heart

Ni�a, I was doing just fine

But since I've seen you
Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

I'll be having neurasthenia

Till I make you mine, till I make you mine
Till I make you mine, till I make you mine

Ni�a.

You're the prize gardenia

Of the Spanish Main

Ni�a

Don't be so enticing

Or I'll go insane

Ni�a

Ni�a, till alas I gazed in your eyes

Ni�a, I was mentally fine

But since I've seen you
Ni�a, Ni�a, Ni�a

I'll be having schizophrenia
Till I make you...

Oh, look, Aunt Inez, the sea.

- Manuela, what will people think?
- Se�ora Alva, welcome, and se�orita.

Your boxes have arrived
and the dressmaker is awaiting you.

- Splendid. Splendid. Come Manuela.
- No, please, Aunt Inez.

- Let me see the sea. You promised.
- We can go later.

- You needn't come. I can go alone.
- Alone? Are you mad?

No one knows me here.
I'll be back in a half an hour.

Manuela.

Manue...!

Who are you?

In Madrid...

...I hear that young ladies do not
walk out without their duennas.

However, I should have thought
that in a town like Port Sebastion...

...bodyguards were unnecessary.

You, gracious lady,
will always need a bodyguard.

Even in the lonely wastes
of the Sahara Desert...

...the sands would rise up
and follow you.

Tell me, what is your name?

I do not see
how that could possibly concern you.

It is as vital to me as the beat
of my heart. Are you married?

No.

But I will be by this time next week.

Then you should never step
into the sight of other men.

It is too great a provocation.

Very well,
I shall remove the provocation.

Se�orita, don't marry that pumpkin.

- Pumpkin?
- Any man who lets you out of his sight...

...is a pumpkin.

My affianced is a very noble
and pious man.

He doesn't drink. He doesn't smoke.
He's regular in his church duties.

And he would never accost
a strange young woman on a...

I wish you would stop circling me
this way. It's like talking to a top.

You bewilder me.

A young girl like you with beauty,
youth, enchantment...

...throwing yourself away
on a lump like that.

He's neither a lump nor a pumpkin.

If he had any sense, he should have
known he wasn't good enough for you.

- He would have stepped aside.
- Stepped aside? For what?

For someone who could appreciate you,
like me. Don't laugh.

If I didn't laugh, I should be very
annoyed. Please let me go.

- Never.
- Don't be silly.

I love you.

- And love isn't silly.
- Really.

Aren't you interested in love?

No.
I told you I was going to be married.

In England and America,
they have a strange custom.

The ladies pick their own husbands
and they marry them for love.

Yes, I know.
It's a very stupid custom.

Oh, I see.
You find enough romance in daydreams.

What do you mean?

- I'm sure I have no idea what you...
- Don't tell me you never long...

...for a prince instead of a pumpkin.

- Certainly not.
- I don't believe you.

I know that underneath that prim exterior
there are depths of emotion...

...romantic longings, unfulfilled dreams.
- That's absurd.

I can read your mind,
your innermost thoughts.

It's my business.

I can tell you your past,
your present and your future.

You don't have to tell me my future,
I know my future.

- Am I in it?
- No.

Then you don't know your future.

Come see me tonight
and you'll find out.

I'll leave a seat for you.

Just mention my name:

Serafin.

An actor.

Ladies and gentlemen,
step in and see the show...

...the wonder show of the ages.

Sensational songs that will set your
heart to singing. Demons of the dance.

Canine marvels
of the nineteenth century.

They walk, they talk,
they're even human at times.

And we're also proud
to present Gumbo and Estraban...

...dashing, debonair, death-defying
masters of the swinging trapeze.

Friends, this is Bolo.

He will step amongst you with tickets,
passports to paradise and happiness.

Only two reals, friends. Two reals.
Step around, will you, Bolo, please?

Magic. Mesmerism.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is about to go on.

Hurtado. Where's the revolving mirror?

- What do you want with that?
- Never mind. Where is it?

Is it wound?

Is it oiled? Is it true?

- You're not gonna use it?
- Certainly. Take it on, Gumbo.

Oh, it's like a graveyard out there.

It's a challenge.
We shall galvanize them.

- Don't use the mirror.
- Why not?

The last person you hypnotized
hasn't woked up yet.

That was a mistake. I had the misfortune
to pick a man with sleeping sickness.

Now we come
to the pinnacle of our entertainment.

An experiment in the new
and sensational science...

...of animal magnetism...

...taught me
by the great Mesmer himself.

You know, of course,
the principles of the great Mesmer?

In short...

...hypnosis.

Hypnosis.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, before your
eyes, I shall perform this experiment...

...but I shall need some help.

However, it must be the right person.

Control cannot be exercised
over everyone.

I have failed with the confused,
with the rebellious, with the recalcitrant.

To perform the experiment ideally...

...I must have a pure person.

One pure person.

Nymph...

...in thy orisons
be all my sins remembered.

Purity at last.

Purity. Gracious lady, that you should
be here makes it indeed a blessing.

Come. Come. I, Serafin, ask it.

You know whatever I ask you...

...whatever power I have for you
is for your happiness.

Sit, gracious lady.

Pure spirit, rest.

She is now in a trance.

I am about to release her spirit
from its earthly bonds.

Gracious lady, what is your name?

Your name.

Man... Manuela.

Manuela, where do you live?

In the village of Calvados.

Make a note of that.

Manuela, you don't love the man
you're going to marry, do you?

- No.
- You love someone else, don't you?

- Yes.
- Who is that other, Manuela?

Someone you've just met, isn't he?

Perhaps this very afternoon.

Think.

Think.

Somewhere by the sea?

Yes.

The sea.

Who is he, Manuela? Say his name.

- He is...
- Yes?

Macoco.

Macoco?

Macoco.

Macoco the pirate?

Macoco the fabulous.
Macoco the dazzling.

No. No, Manuela.
You don't mean that.

Someday he'll swoop down on me
like a chicken hawk and carry me away.

- No, Manuela. Pure soul, listen...
- And I shall do his bidding.

I shall follow him, yea, to the ends
of the world I shall follow him.

No, Manuela. Forget Macoco.

Now think again, pure soul...

Don't call me pure soul.
It irritates me.

Underneath this prim exterior
there are emotions, romantic longings.

- I know. I'm here to release them.
- Underneath this exterior...

...there are emotions, romantic longings.
Underneath this exterior...

- ...there's emotions, romantic longings.
- Wake up. Wake up.

Macoco.

Macoco.

Macoco.

There's a pirate known to fame

Black Macoco was the pirate's name

In his day, the tops was he

Round the Caribbean

Or Caribbean Sea

Manuela. Wake up.

Mack the Black
Round the Caribbean

Mack the Black
Or Caribbean Sea

Mack the Black
Round the Caribbean

Round the Caribbean or Caribbean Sea

As a child his nurse foretold

Mack was sure to be a pirate bold

For when feeding time would come

Mack'd have a bottle
But a bottle of rum

Mack the Black

Mack'd have a bottle

Mack the Black
But a bottle of rum

Mack the Black

Mack'd have a bottle

Mack'd have a bottle
But a bottle of rum

When he'd sight a clipper ship

Mack would board her and begin to clip

First he'd grab the ladies fair

Especially those with jewels
Those with jewels to spare

Mack the Black
Especially those with jewels

Mack the Black
Those with jewels to spare

Mack the Black
Especially those with jewels

Especially those with jewels
Those with jewels to spare

When he'd make his daily rounds

Gals would trail him
Like a pack of hounds

Every night he'd have a date

Ladies go to pieces
over pieces of eight

Mack the Black
Ladies go to pieces

Mack the Black
Over pieces of eight

Mack the Black
Ladies go to pieces

Ladies go to pieces
Over pieces of eight

Evening star, if you see Mack

Stop his wandering
And guide him back

I'll be waiting patiently

By the Caribbean

Or Caribbean Sea

Mack the Black
By the Caribbean

Mack the Black
Or Caribbean Sea

Mack the Black
By the Caribbean

By the Caribbean
Or in case you're not agreeing

The Caribbean Sea

Mack the Black Macoco

From Guadeloupe to Barbados

Tornadoes

Give in to his desperadoes

Throughout the Caribbean or vicinity

Macoco leaves a flaming trail
Of masculinity

And suddenly I feel
I've got a big affinity

And I'm loco

For Mack, Mack

Mack the Black Macoco

Manuela, Manuela, awake.
Return to yourself.

Wake.

- can't you wake her?
- You'll be jailed for this.

Use voodoo.
Get her out of it with voodoo.

- Use rattlesnake skins and vinegar.
- They say lizard milk and...

- Burn a feather under her nose.
- Let me try again.

Stand back. Stand back.

They're cheering for you,
for your singing and dancing.

- Singing and danc...
- You've set them on fire.

No.

No!

Manuela.

Manuela.

Aunt Inez.

Aunt Inez. Aunt Inez. Wake up. I wanna
go home. I wanna go home this minute.

- But it's still dark.
- I don't care. I want to go home.

Oh, well, we might as well.
We'll never sleep a wink here.

Oh, I've never known such a noisy place.
Those actors.

They had a girl too.
I heard her singing.

A girl? A girl?

Oh, it sounded like a girl.

Oh, Aunt Inez, Don Pedro was right.
He was right.

Home, it's safe.
It's safe, it's protected and it's quiet.

- Yes, it's quiet. Yes. Yes...
- I wanna go home. Hurry, please.

- Come on, Aunt Inez, please hurry.
- Manuela, wait...

Manuela,
it's going to be a beautiful silhouette.

Se�or Gomez,
I would like an extra copy for our salon.

The se�orita is the loveliest bride
I have ever painted.

- Thank you...
- Don't move, please.

Would you like a bouquet
in the corner?

No, no. It spoils the composition.

One moment more. There.
The outline is complete.

Thank you.

The sun is shining for you today.
A good omen.

My Manuela, the wife of our mayor.

You're going to be so happy.

What if I'm not?

You will be, my dear,
if you wish for it hard enough.

You can make anything come true
by wishing for it.

Anything?

Anything.

Men, right here. Set up over here.

Manuela, come along.
We have to start.

No. Aunt Inez, I can't go.

- I can't.
- Now, now, Manuela.

- I know exactly how you're...
- Aunt Inez, it's that actor.

- Actor?
- He's here.

He's coming in the house.
I daren't leave.

Now, Manuela.

Please calm down and tell me
what you're talking about.

Aunt Inez, I have something dreadful
to tell you.

Do you remember in Port Sebastion...

...when you thought
you heard a girl singing?

You did. It was me.

I can't believe it. It can't be true.

Oh, do you think I'd make up
a thing like that?

- How could you? Whatever possessed...
- I don't know, I don't know.

He had a mirror that spun around
and his voice and his eyes, and I...

Capucho. Oh, Capucho.

I want you to listen carefully.

Bolt the front door
and don't let anyone in. You understand?

- My dear, if I may make a suggestion?
- Yes, of course. Hurry. Manuela.

I'm going for Don Pedro.

- Lock the door and don't leave the room.
- No.

- Now, don't leave it.
- No, I won't. Oh, lock the door.

Lock the door and
don't leave this room.

Lock the door
and don't leave this room.

Lock the door...

Manuela.

No.

No.

No.

Fair Juliet of the Caribbean.

Go away.

Trillo. Trillo, me jacket.

Ta-da.

Manuela.

Don't you dare take another step
across that wire.

Don't you dare.

Manuela. Manuela, you don't mean that.
You don't mean that.

All right.

Do you see these? Do you see these?

I'm going to count to three.
Count to three. One, two...

Three.

All right. You've asked for this.

You should have thought of this
before you started.

You know, you know
you wouldn't cut that rope.

Manuela, you couldn't do that.

Please.

Don't come any nearer.

It looks so bad.

Go away. I'm going to be married.

- Go away. Don't come near me.
- Manuela.

- Don't come near me. Leave me alone
- Manuela. Wait. We're here, Manuela.

- We've come to get you.
- Leave me alone.

Manuela, are you real or an angel?

- How dare you come here.
- Have I walked the tightrope to heaven?

- How dare you!
- That wedding gown, that veil.

It isn't possible that you're still
thinking of getting married.

Not after that night.
Not after hearing that applause...

- Oh, stop it. Stop it.
- ...and seeing those people.

can't you understand I have nothing
but horror and shame...

...for what I did that night?

Horror? Shame? You were wonderful.

Believe me,
you gave a brilliant performance.

And with polish, you'll be even better.

- Will you go now?
- Oh, Manuela, come with us.

We'll tour these enchanted islands,
then on to Rome.

- You wanna disgrace me, ruin me.
- Madrid, Paris.

My fianc� will be here any minute.

- Well, let's go quickly.
- No.

Manuela, you can't marry that man.

You're not in love with him,
you're in love with me.

- Oh, the ego, the conceit.
- You told me so that night.

- What?
- Not in so many words, perhaps.

But when I held you in my arms
and kissed you, you clung to me.

Oh, how cruel to remind me of that.

You fooled me. You made a fool of me
and you tricked me.

Manuela, all my life...

...I've searched for someone who could
fill the void in my heart. I've found you.

Oh, come with me.

Once and for all, I do not love you.

I know it's hard for you to believe
but I do not love you.

Then why didn't you cut that rope
with your shears?

You would have been rid of me.

I wish I had now.

Now, will you get out of here?

- You won't come with me?
- No.

Very well, then.

It isn't essential
for you to love me to be in the troupe.

It helps, but it isn't essential.

Get out.

- Goodbye.
- No, not that way. You'll kill yourself.

- You do care.
- No, I don't.

- You do care.
- No, I don't.

- Manuela, you love me.
- I don't.

You love me. You love me, Manuela.
You love me.

Don Pedro will take care
of that mountebank.

- Who's that man with the whip?
- Manuela's fianc�.

- He's also mayor of the town.
- Mayor.

- All right, boys, start packing.
- Okay, let's go. Let's go.

I tell you you're wrong.
You're making a great mistake.

I warn you, if you stop my marriage,
I'll hate you. I'll despise you.

All I'm asking you is to appear
with us once, just once.

- Sing one song.
- No.

Just to know what a thrill it is.

You were in a trance.
You couldn't hear the audience before.

You call it a thrill to live in a tent?
To be a vagabond?

- A vagabond?
- To be chased out of every town?

- You don't...
- To be looked down on by all people?

- Looked down upo...?
- Manuela.

If he finds you, he'll kill you.

Manuela. Manuela, let me in.

No. Don't... Don't come in, Don Pedro.

I'm in my wedding dress and it's
bad luck to see me in my wedding dress.

Let me in.

Please. Please, get out of here.

Not unless you come with me.

You fool.

You fool.

Manuela. Are you all right?

Don Pedro,
he didn't mean any harm. Please.

- Take Manuela away.
- Please, Don Pedro.

Take her away.

He didn't mean any harm.

He'll kill him.

Never mind.
He's none of our business.

He'll kill him, I know.
I know he'll kill him.

Something dreadful will happen.

You mountebank.

You thieving vagabond.

You scum,
sneaking into a lady's room.

Sneaking? You can hardly call it sneaking
when I walk a tightrope...

...across your main thoroughfare.
- I'll put you in irons.

I'll have you publicly flogged.

A lash across your back for every step
along that rope.

- What, sir?
- This is a respectable community.

We do not entertain the scum
of the cities.

The thieves, the vagabonds,
such as you.

Speak more, master, speak more.

I'm mayor in this town.

My word is law.
I give you five minutes.

Exactly five minutes for you and your
malodorous riffraff to get out of town.

Take your choice, get out
or I'll have you mercilessly flogged.

- That voice.
- Get out.

You and your scurvy troupe of actors.

Macoco!

Merciful saints of heaven.

Does that stir old memories, Macoco?

Would you like to hear it again,
Macoco?

No. No, for the love of heaven, no.

Go away.

Go away.

- Who are you?
- I am one of your rare mistakes.

You didn't quite succeed in killing me.

Very careless of you.

Do you remember the merchant ship
Capricorn...

...you sunk off the coast of Algiers?

I happened to be on it.

I was returning from my very
first theatrical engagement.

Quite successful one too.

Well, you threw me overboard and
you left me thinking I had drowned...

...but it's hard to kill an actor.

Of course, I wouldn't expect you
to remember me.

One victim out of so many hundreds.

But I remember you.

My heart. My heart.

Too much soft living, Macoco.

Don't say that name.

I never thought I'd live
to see this day.

Mack the Black,
scourge of the seven seas.

Murderer, torturer, pillager,
lying quivering like a sick jellyfish.

You know, last time we met, you were
lithe. You were supple. You were strong.

You could split a man in two
with a stroke of your cutlass.

What do you want? I'll give you anything
if you'll keep your mouth shut.

- I'll give you a thousand pesos.
- A thousand pesos.

It seems to me I remember a poster:

"Macoco. Wanted for hanging.
Reward, 100,000 pesos."

- Very well, then. 100,000.
- I'm an artist, not a blackmailer.

There's a crowd down there.
Perhaps they'd like to know their mayor.

Have you no pity? No heart?

Don't do this to me.
Look, I'm respectable now.

I've made a place for myself
in this community.

I'm very philanthropic.

I repaired the church belfry.

For the love of heaven...

...have mercy on me. If not for my sake,
then for Manuela's.

Look, what would she do if she
knew that I were Macoco the pirate?

Yes, what would Manuela do if...

I beg you don't tell her.

Is there no compassion in your heart
for a sinner who repents?

- I beg you, on my knees.
- Quiet.

I want you to go out on that balcony
and announce to the town...

...that my troupe will perform tonight
and you will be our patron.

Oh, be reasonable. I can't do that.

- Maco...
- No, no, no, no.

Fellow citizens.

Your attention, please.

Because this is a memorable day
in my life...

...I have decided to relax my usual rule
against strangers in our town.

I have decided to allow these...

These strolling players...

...to entertain us with a performance.

Thank heavens he's still alive.

Are you mad?

The man is a devil incarnate.
He'll twist anyone to his purpose.

We must get out of his reach. Capucho,
tell them to bring the carriage.

Come, Manuela.
We'll take shelter in the church.

No one is to leave this house
without my permission.

What right have you to give orders?

What have you done to Don Pedro?

Don Pedro is simply feeling
the normal reaction to fear.

Fear? Why should he fear you?

He knows who I am.

Well, what are you?

Some pickpurse or chicken thief?

Se�ora, your village is isolated
and remote...

...but even here
you must have heard the name...

...Macoco.

Macoco?

But you can't be. You're... You're a...

A strolling player?

Manuela, even a man desperately in love
has the instinct of self-preservation.

If it were known that Macoco
was on this island...

...all the vultures of the Caribbean
would be on my trail.

Now that you know,
you must make your choice.

A life of splendid danger with me
or a sorry existence with this...

...this creature.

What is he saying?

- What has he told you?
- Simply the truth.

The truth?

- What truth?
- Is it warm? Are you...? You're sweating.

What is he saying?

Whatever he's told you,
it's a lie. It's a gross lie.

Are you accusing Macoco of lying?

Think twice before you answer,
Pedro or whatever you call yourself.

What? What is this?

- What are you saying?
- This fat pumpkin...

...was traveling on a ship
I captured once. I spared his life.

But I may not be so kind this time.

One word from me, you know,
and you'll be hanging from a gibbet.

Please, please.

Capucho, do something.

I sense in this room an air
of strangulated discomfort.

These must be relatives.
Remove them.

Yes, yes. I think you'd better go.

Go on, go on. Leave the house.
I'm telling you to leave the house.

can't you hear me? Get out of here.

Why don't you go away?

Get out.

You should try underplaying sometime.
Very effective.

Well, Manuela, are you ready
to come with me?

I have engagements on the seven seas.
Will you keep them with me?

No, no. We're not for each other.

Oh, we'll have a glorious life,
the open road, the canopy of the skies.

But... I hardly know you.

I hardly know you either.
We'll have the excitement of discovery.

But I, I...

- Do you two realize that I'm in the room?
- Must I remind you...

I won't stand by and allow you
to make love to my affianced wife.

You won't do what?
What won't you do?

- If I could see you for a moment alone...
- I have no time for sniveling cowards.

There are too many things
to be done. In the first place...

...I must have accommodations
for myself and my men.

I'll see what I can do for you
at the inn.

We'll stay at no scurvy inn.

If I know you, you'll have the best
house in town. We'll take that.

Look, be reasonable. I can't do that.

Now, please, Don Pedro,
don't make him angry.

But I... We are to be married.

They are waiting for us at the church.

Oh, the marriage, the marriage.
The marriage is postponed, indefinitely.

I shall see you later.

Macoco.

He won't get away with this.

He won't get away with this.

Manuela. Manuela. Are you all right?

Halt.

Dismount.

If you're thinking of riding to the
capital for help, you're idiots.

My crew and I are not alone.

The town is surrounded.
Those hills are full of my men.

Bloodthirsty men.

Cutthroats, who only await my signal
to come down and lay this town to ruin.

- Hey, boss.
- Trillo.

There is no necessity of keeping up
this pretense any longer.

They know that I am Macoco.

- Macoco?
- Trillo.

Go immediately
to Don Pedro Vargas' house...

...and arrange our quarters. Go ahead.

Do not anger Macoco.

Do not bring down Macoco's wrath
upon your heads.

Macoco!

Macoco!

Citizens of Calvados, listen carefully.

I know you do not want bloodshed.

I know you want to cooperate.

- Anything. Anything.
- Anything you ask for, reverend pirate.

Good. There is a young lady in this town
who has been fortunate enough...

...to have found favor in my eyes.

I wish her to be brought to me
at once.

Her name...

...is Manuela.

- Oh, no, not Manuela.
- No. Not Manuela. Oh, no.

- Please, not Manuela, reverend pirate.
- She's to be married to the mayor.

We have other girls, beautiful girls.

Suit yourself. But I warn you...

...if Manuela is not brought to me here
in 10 minutes, unmarried...

...I shall set torch to your town.

Your village will lie in ruins.

Your families will be scattered
to the winds.

Not one house shall be left standing,
not one stone upon another.

- No. No.
- Go fetch her.

- Where is Don Pedro? We must see him.
- You cannot see Don Pedro.

- He's not to be disturbed.
- I'm sorry.

This is a matter of life and death.

- Is that the padre?
- No, it's the advocate.

- Well, somebody get the padre.
- Don Pedro, I hardly know how to begin.

- It grieves me to bear this message.
- What is it? Speak up.

- Macoco has given us an ultimatum.
- Well, well?

Manuela is to be delivered to him
there within 10 minutes...

- ...or he'll put a torch to the town.
- What? What?

The brazen effrontery.
The impertinence.

You think Macoco
wouldn't burn a town?

He's done it 100 times,
and with far less provocation.

Where is Manuela?
Let us speak to Manue...

You will not speak of this to Manuela.

Se�ora, lock the door
and give me the key.

It's ridiculous.

The whole thing is insane.

You go right back to him and tell him
that I refuse to be intimidated.

Perhaps you would like to go to Macoco
and tell him he's lying.

Yes.

That is... Well...

I tell you, he can't do anything.

He wouldn't dare.
He knows he'd hang.

Be realistic. You think threat of hanging
frightens him? He practically invites it.

He's admitted that he's the pirate
Macoco. For that alone he could hang.

- Right. You're perfectly right.
- This man fears nothing.

He knows there's a price on his head
and yet he boasts of his evil deeds.

He's a desperate character.
He should be killed like a dog.

Yes. He's ruthless.

We must do nothing to oppose him...

He's a menace
to the whole civilized world.

Inez, the key.

I'll be back within an hour.

Where are you going?

To the capital, to get the militia.

- Militia. Oh, no, Don Pedro.
- You're going to certain death.

Macoco's men
are surrounding the town.

- No one can get through.
- Don Pedro. Don Pedro.

We've wasted four minutes.

Let's go and talk to Manuela.

- Manuela.
- No, no, you're not to speak to her.

- I won't allow it.
- I'm sorry, se�ora.

Manuela. Manuela.

- Yes?
- Manuela, did you hear?

I couldn't help but hear a little.

It's a frightful thing to ask
a young girl to sacrifice herself...

...but no one and nothing else
can save us.

Manuela, don't listen to them.
Don Pedro has gone for help.

I'm sorry, se�ora.

Manuela, even if he could get through
the hills, which he can't, it's useless.

He cannot get back for an hour
at the very least...

...and we've only five minutes.

But you can't ask that of me.

You know I'd do anything
in this world to save you, anything.

But you can't ask that.

Manuela, we, your fellow townspeople,
are throwing ourselves on your mercy.

Will you go, Manuela?

Will you sacrifice yourself to save us?

But you're asking too much of me.

You'll go down in history, Manuela...

...another Joan of Arc...

...sacrificing herself
that her people might live.

But I've only just met him.

We'll put a tablet on your door,
Manuela Alva and this date.

Who knows, we might even change
the name of the town in honor of you.

Manuela, think of us,
of our wives...

...and our children,
the people you've known all your life.

Don't you see what this could mean
to my future?

It could mean the ruination
of my complete life.

Do you wanna see this town,
which our grandfathers built...

...over the years with such loving care,
do you want to see it ruined?

Razed, with not one stone left
upon another?

Thank you, Manuela.

Manuela,
all of our lives we'll thank you.

Thank you.

Manuela.

Manuela.

I can't bear
to have you sacrifice yourself.

I'll do it. I'll go in your place.

He asked for me.

Well, this is what you dreamed of,
isn't it?

I beg your pardon?

May I get you a cushion for your feet?

You... You... You said this
is what I've dreamed of.

Don't you remember? That's what
you said at the show that night.

You said you were in love with Macoco,
and that you dreamt...

...that someday he'd come
like a chicken hawk and carry you away.

I said that?

I said that to him?

Sure, to Serafin.

I mean...

Macoco.

Oh, yes, Macoco.

Would there be anything else,
Your Highness?

No, thank you.
I think that will be quite enough.

Well, then, if you'll excuse me,
I think I'll...

Manuela, the time has come
to drop the mask.

Macoco.

Why did you think you had to do
all of these things to get me here?

Didn't you know you had only
to stretch out your hand?

No, please, don't move. Don't.

I want to gaze my full at you.

That sinister brow.

The hawk-like glance in your eyes.

Those savage shoulders.
The ferocious nape of that neck.

Oh, I can see you now in battle.

The clash of angry swords,
the roar of cannon and you...

You, Macoco, standing there,
with lightning breaking about you...

...dominating everything.

There's something
I must tell you. Look, I...

And to think I thought you were nothing
but a common actor.

How unspeakably drab.

- Just what was that you said?
- How could I have been so gullible?

I should have known from the
first moment I saw you on the stage...

...that you knew
absolutely nothing about acting.

- Now, look here...
- Oh, Macoco, my fabulous Macoco.

Take me away with you.
Take me away on your mighty ship.

- Just a minute. I...
- I can see us now.

You with you cutlass in one hand
and your... Your compass in the other...

...shouting orders to your pirate crew.

And I, I at your side, spurring you on
to greater and greater achievements.

Won't that be magnificent?

Tell me...

...just...

...what did you think was wrong
with my acting?

- Your what?
- My acting. You said you thought that I...

Oh, please, let's not talk of anything
so disgusting and degrading.

I despise actors.

Besides...

...you don't have to pretend with me.

I love you for what you are.

Ruthless and cruel.

Taking what you want,
fearing no one.

I don't think you saw a good show
that night.

My performance must have been off.

- Ordinarily, my...
- Oh, Macoco.

I could show you a review in
the Trinidad Clarion about my acting...

...comparing me with David Garrick.
Oh, I wish I had that here.

- I'd like to...
- The man I love, the man I love...

...is the man who said, "Bring Manuela
to me or I'll put a torch to the town."

- I have a confession to make...
- A confession?

You don't need to make a confession.

The record of your deeds
is written on my heart.

Oh, yes. One crime or two crimes
might be something to confess.

But crime on such a magnificent scale,
why, that becomes an epic.

You transcend the petty moral codes
of ordinary men.

Manuela, you must listen...

Manuela.

Oh, I see you found out.

Manuela.
Manuela, you're overwrought.

Now, I know you have every right
to be vexed. But I did it for us. Manu...

Manu...

Now, Manuela. Darling. Count to 10.

Manuela.

Now, Manuela.

Manuela.

Oil on the troubled waters, Manuela.
No. Your temper.

Oh, Manuela, this is ridiculous.
Don't be a witch. Manuela.

All right, Manuela.
I apologize. I apologize.

I shouldn't have walked that tightrope
to your room. I know that I should...

I realize I shouldn't have hypnotized you
and made you say those things. But...

Now, look. Manuela, I'm trying
to be reasonable. can't you under...

can't you see I'm trying
to be big about this?

Manuela, I ask you. Please, do not...

Now, look, I've apologized abjectly.
What more can I do?

Just what more can I...

You're overdoing this.
You're being vindictive.

Now, you listen to me.

You have the manners
of a spoiled brat...

...and the effrontery
of an unbridled egotist.

Because I succumbed to your charm...

...don't think that I'll endure
your temperament, because I won't.

That settles it. I've never yet raised
my hand against a woman...

...but by heaven, you've gone too far.
En garde.

Touch�.

Now, can't we talk this over
like sensible adult persons?

Now, Manu...

Now, don't...

Now, listen...

Manu... Oh, don't. Don't.
You'll hurt someone.

Serafin.

Serafin, my darling.

Serafin.

Serafin, what have I done to you?

What have I done to you?

What have I done?

Serafin?

Serafin, listen to me.

I didn't mean what I said
about your acting.

I think you're a wonderful actor.

Oh, darling, darling.

You can do no wrong

You're as right

As the nightingale's song

You're the nth of perfection

Of them all you're the star

When you gaze in my direction

Life is caviar

I can barely wait

Till I know that we'll share

The same fate

And from then on

Sweet angel

I shall worship you

My life long

For you can do

No wrong

It's painfully true

That you can do

No wrong

To be able to send back word
that I've captured Macoco.

The news will echo round the world.

The king himself will call me back
to decorate me.

I must warn you again, sir.

Macoco is very clever. He will try
in every way to convince you...

...that he is not a pirate.
- It is not necessary to give me advice.

I am no novice in the affairs
of government.

Sorry.

Excellency, we have found a part
of his booty.

What extraordinary luck.

This is his personal chest.

It's full of jewels stolen by Macoco.

Do they tally
with the East India Company?

Yes.
A great many of them, Excellency.

The maharani's diamonds
and matched pearls.

The Mogul's emeralds.
The stomacher of Marie Antoinette.

- That's enough. Where is he?
- At the mayor's residence.

Surround the place.
Guard every entrance, every window.

Remember this man
is the devil incarnate.

He'll strike like a cobra
when he realizes he's cornered.

All right.

Surround him, men.

- Manuela. Are you all right?
- Yes.

What have you done to her?

Excellency, this is a joke, a silly joke.

Just a silly joke. This man knew
that I had an admiration for Macoco.

He pretended. That's all.

You've been through
a terrible experience.

But you have nothing to fear now.

Your magnificent courage has earned
the gratitude of the entire island.

It's due to you that this felon
has been apprehended.

Captain.

See the se�orita escorted safely
to her home.

No, I...

Bring the prisoner here.

Well, sir. At last.

I can't tell you what pleasure it gives me
to meet you, under these conditions.

Excellency.

I must say, Macoco,
you're very satisfying.

The other members of your profession,
whom I've met...

...have looked more like bookkeepers
than pirates.

But you.

You fill the eye.

Thank you. But I regret
to disillusion you, Excellency.

I have been sailing under false colors.
I am not Macoco.

My name is Serafin and I'm an actor.
Here are my papers.

I warned you he'd do this,
don't believe him.

Must I remind you I'm perfectly capable
of handling this without any assistance?

Sorry.

Did you really expect to fool me
with a forged passport?

This means that some poor wretch
named Serafin is lying in a ditch...

...somewhere
with a dagger in his throat.

Don Pedro, do you think it wise
to go this far?

I'm here to see that you hang.

No doubt about that.

But His Excellency would never
hang a man without evidence.

Certainly not.

Hey, wait a minute. What are you
doing with that? This is my prop box.

I never allow anyone to touch this.
It holds all my professional secrets.

Macoco, in the name of His Majesty
I hereby charge you...

...with the murder of thousands
of his subjects.

With theft, arson, et cetera, et cetera.

Put him in irons and issue orders
to erect a gallows at once.

We'll forego the formality of a trial.

Don't take your eyes off him,
not for a minute. And don't let him talk.

No, above all, don't let me talk.

Let the execution begin.

- Aunt Inez, let me through.
- You are behaving...

Please, Aunt Inez. Let me through.
I've go to stop this. Stop. Stop!

Your Excellency.
I beg you not to go on with this.

- I implore you, don't...
- Se�orita. you must calm...

- Manuela.
- People. Listen, please.

A few hours ago you thanked me
for saving your lives.

You told me you'd be grateful forever.

Well, now I have one favor
to ask of you in return.

I beg you to stop this hanging.

This man is not a pirate.

He's only a strolling player, an actor.

He's so good an actor
that you believed him...

Proceed with the execution.

Excellency.

- May I speak?
- No. No. Go on with the hanging.

Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have addressed
myself to the mayor?

I had thought His Excellency,
the viceroy, was in command here.

And so I am.

You may have your say.

Excellency, thank you.

I wish to express my gratitude
to the se�orita...

...but she is wasting her sympathies.

I agree with Don Pedro.
Macoco should hang.

You're right.
For once you're telling the truth.

Well, why are we waiting?

Get on with the hanging.

I shall try not to disappoint you.

Your Excellency,
fate has been most kind to me.

In my last moments it has granted me
the privilege of meeting, face to face...

...one of the great figures of our time.

Fate hasn't been unkind to me.

It's always useful, politically, you know,
to capture an important criminal.

I am only too happy, Excellency,
to further your career.

And I to put an end to yours.

I believe a condemned man
has a right to one last request.

Well, within reason, a visit
from a loved one, a prayer, a beefsteak.

I have only one burning desire.

Let me give a performance, one
last performance for Your Excellency.

Oh, that's impossible.

If you escaped, I should have
to consider myself a fool.

And I don't care to undervalue myself.

Excellency, I have played
before the king of Spain...

...the khedive of Egypt,
the bey of Tunis.

I should like, before I die, to play
before Your Excellency.

But you must see
it would be very irregular.

Excellency...

...you are a man of culture,
a man of imagination.

When a royal banquet
is spread before you...

...you do not pounce upon it
like any peasant.

This is a great moment
we have before us.

A moment in history.
Let's not rush at it.

Let's savor it to the full.

I never heard of such impudence,
such an outrage.

Hang him. Hang him at once.

You there, soldiers, go on, take him.

Do you hear me?
Go on with the hanging.

Just a minute, Don Pedro.

Your Excellency, you don't know
this man.

He's diabolically clever.

He's trying to trick you,
make a fool of you.

Excellency, I await your permission.

No. No.

I'm mayor here and I forbid it.

Do you hear me? I forbid it.

He hangs. He hangs this minute.

Go on, hang him.

You may be mayor of this little village,
but I am viceroy.

You may give your show.

Excellency.

Stand back, men. Give the impresario
a little room.

There's something rather perverse
about all this.

I shall feel like a Roman emperor
of the Decadence. Rather agreeable.

It will be a pleasure to be executed
by a man of such charm.

Fellow artists.

Overture. Prepare the proscenium.

Unmask this funereal garb
and don the bright colors of Vespus.

On with your costume, Trillo.

- Trillo, strike up the music.
- What number will it be, captain?

Our gayest and our best
to please our honored guest.

Get the mirror ready.

The mirror. I'm going to release
Don Pedro's spirit from its earthly bond.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, honored
guest, in behalf of my little troupe...

...may I hope that you enjoy
our farewell performance.

Of course, this is not my first
farewell performance...

...but I think we can trust
our honored guest to make it my last.

Usually, for our opening
I perform a rope trick...

...but tonight, under the circumstances,
I will skip the rope.

Instead,
I and my two brilliant colleagues...

...in the art of terpsichore
will entertain you.

But first, if you will allow me,
I shall get away from this noose.

As me mother used to say,
"No noose is good noose."

I'll remember forever

When I was but 3

Mama, who was clever

Remarking to me

Son, when you've grown up

And you want everything nice

I've got your future sewn up

If you'll take this advice

Be a clown, be a clown

All the world loves a clown

Act the fool, play the calf

And you'll always have the last laugh

Wear the cap and the bells

And you'll rate
with all the great swells

If you become a doctor,
Folks'll face you with dread

If you become a dentist
They'll be glad when you're dead

You'll get a bigger hand
If you can stand on your head

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Oh, bravo. Bravo.

Thank you. Thank you.

That was merely an appetizer.

Your Excellency, now we come
to the pinnacle of our entertainment...

...an experiment in the new, sensational
science of animal magnetism...

...taught me by the great
Mesmer himself.

Oh, Mesmer. I knew him very well.
I was fascinated by his science.

Then, of course, Your Excellency knows
the principles of the great Mesmer.

In short...

...hypnosis.

Hypnosis.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
before your very eyes...

...I shall perform this experiment.

I shall need someone to help me,
but it must be the right person.

Control cannot be exercised
over everyone.

I have failed with the confused,
with the rebellious, with the recalcitrant.

To perform the experiment ideally...

...I must find a person whose character
and background are above reproach.

I see we have a volunteer.

We'll have none of that here,
young man.

Se�ora, you have spoiled what promised
to be a very interesting experiment.

Your Excellency, you do not realize.

This man has powers that are...

Quiet. Quiet. Stand back.
Don't speak to her.

If you wake her, it may kill her.

She's in a trance.

Oh, Manuela, not again.

Come, pure spirit. Come with me.

- I forbid it. It's a disgrace.
- Sit down, Don Pedro.

Gracious lady, if you have any wish...

...express it freely to me.
I who am your friend.

- I wish th...
- Yes?

- I wish...
- Black magic.

I won't have him practice black magic
on my future wife.

- It's an outrage.
- Hold your tongue, Don Pedro.

I will not have this performance ruined
by your possessiveness.

Excellency, will you please tell him
this is not flirtation, it is science?

- It is science.
- Whatever. I don't like it.

I demand that you hold your tongue.
Proceed, sir, with your mesmerism.

Manuela, are you afraid?

No, no.

What is your wish, Manuela?
What is your wish?

I ask for very little...

...only to be allowed...

...to worship at your feet, Macoco.

My prince of pirates.

Let them do with you what they will.
It makes no difference.

Your spirit and your legend
will live on through the ages.

Oh, I worship you for your immortal
deeds, your fearlessness, your daring.

Destiny has been harsh.

It has given me the vision of you,
only to snatch it away...

...but I shall carry your image
in my heart, cherishing it, loving it.

I shall dedicate my life
to the memory of you.

But, Manuela, you are to be married
to Don Pedro, the most pious...

...the most upright...
- The most piddling of all men.

A namby-pamby who dares not leave
this village...

...a catchpenny who's afraid
even of the sea.

Oh, but you, Macoco.

You, you have slashed across
this world...

...your bold pattern of imagination.

You are a glorious prism
that dazzles me...

...with all of its facets.

Love of my life

Life of my love

I used to pray

And pray you'd hear me

Love of my life

Angels above

Sent you at last

To stay always near me

Now we are one

Never to part

And nevermore

Need I implore you

To miss me

Come to my arms

Come to my heart

Kiss me

Kiss me

Come to me

Come to me

Love of my life

Macoco!

I've had enough of this.

This marionette, strutting around
pretending to be the Black Macoco.

Do you think a runt like that
could handle a crew of cutthroats?

Do you think real men would risk
their necks to serve under him?

If you want to worship Macoco,
then worship me.

It was I who was the terror
of the Caribbean.

The most feared and hated man
who ever sailed a ship.

At the mere mention of my name...

...armed fleets would slink
into their harbors.

Whole populations would flee
to the hills...

...when my ship
came in sight of land...

...my name was like thunder,
rolling in from the sea.

I am this man you worship.

I am Macoco.

Not this greasepaint hero.

This puny, rabbit-hearted,
white-livered buffoon.

I am Macoco.

Ladies and gentlemen, don't move,
don't stir, the best is still to come.

We have a new star
in our brilliant galaxy of players...

...the beautiful, the beguiling,
the divine Manuela.

Be a clown, be a clown

All the world loves a clown

Show 'em tricks

Tell 'em jokes

And you'll only stop with top folks

Dress in huge, baggy pants

And you'll ride the road to romance

A butcher or a baker
Ladies never embrace

A barber for a beau
Would be a social disgrace

They all'll come to call
If you can fall on your face

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown

All the world loves a clown

Be a crazy buffoon

And the demoiselles'll all swoon

Be a crack jackanapes

And they'll imitate you like apes

Why be a great composer
With your rent in arrears?

Why be a major poet
And you'll owe it for years

When crowds'll pay to giggle
If you wiggle your ears?

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown

All the world loves a clown

Be the poor silly ass

And you'll always travel first class

Give 'em quips, give 'em fun

And they'll pay to say you're A- 1

If you become a farmer
You've the weather to buck

If you become a gambler
You'll be stuck with your luck

But jack, you'll never lack
If you can quack like a duck

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown, be a clown

Be a clown

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