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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:15,360 BETTER THINGS 2 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,760 Hi. Dude. Mom. I missed you so much. 3 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,760 Oh... You did ? Baby... 4 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,600 - Oh, ew. Mom. Don't. Gross. - Sorry. Yes. Yes, sir. I missed... 5 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,360 I missed... Very good... Hel... 6 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,280 - Who is that ? - Hi, Mom. 7 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,280 Who is this ? Who is this ? 8 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,320 - I missed you so much. - I missed you. 9 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,080 - I brought presents. - You did ?! 10 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,840 Cute ! 11 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,440 - Hi, Gran the man ! - Slow down. 12 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,560 I'm sorry, Gran. I forgot about your life jacket. 13 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:31,080 - Never mind. Hello, darling. - Hi, Gran. I missed you. 14 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:35,640 - Did you miss me ? - We only ever have today. 15 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,760 - Are you helping your mother ? - She's fine. 16 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,640 Cool, cool, cool. I'll just... 17 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,600 - Did you ask her ? - Nan, she's fine. 18 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,120 - Oh, please. - It's not even that heavy. 19 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,200 I got everything. 20 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,040 Mom, has it been raining like this the whole time ? 21 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,560 - Yes. - That's so cozy. 22 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,160 - I wish it'd rain like this all year. - Why is the window open ? 23 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,360 - Close your window, for God's sake. - Okay. 24 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,000 How's my dogs ? And Dr. Bedloe ? 25 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:18,440 They're good, bunny ! They missed you, but I missed you the mostest. 26 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,680 Mom, I want to create a dating profile for you. 27 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,000 Can you turn down the music, please ? I can't hear myself think. 28 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,120 Okay. Jesus. Anything else, m'lord ? 29 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,640 - Mom. Mom. Mom ! - Turn this up. 30 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:32,880 No projectiles. 31 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,640 I want to make a dating profile for you on, like, Bumble or Raya or some shit. 32 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:42,760 No, thank you. I'm all set. I am a volcel. I'm a voluntary celibate. 33 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:47,720 - It's true, Mom. You need someone. - Why ? I'm fine. I'm seriously fine. 34 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,520 I have my friends, and you guys and Uncle Rich, 35 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:55,640 our dogs and Dr. Bedloe and my work. 36 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:07,360 So... did you guys have a good time while you were there ? 37 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,120 I don't know. Kinda. 38 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,280 You can have had a good time. It's okay by me. 39 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,760 Mom. Really sorry to say this, 40 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:27,320 but my dad wanted to know if you were gonna send him something. 41 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,320 What ? 42 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,240 He told me to ask you. 43 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,160 Sorry, what is that ? Is he asking for money ? 44 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,960 You really shouldn't be driving now, we could get trapped in a mudslide. 45 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,680 Mom, I don't think you should send him any money anymore. 46 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,760 His family owns, like, a ton of businesses. 47 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,560 Well, what do you think, I want to give him money ? 48 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,000 I don't want him coming for me. 49 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,400 Bless you. 50 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,160 One for a wish, two for a kiss, three's for a letter... 51 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,480 ...if anyone sneezes. 52 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,360 Don't pick at it. Don't pick at it. 53 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,680 Gran, how long do you have to wear the Cardiac Buddy for ? 54 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,080 It's a temporary situation. But I'm almost finished. 55 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,400 I just need the okay from my cardiologist. 56 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,880 Excuse me all over the place, but I really can't bear it anymore. 57 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,320 I don't remember why I have to have it. I'm in perfect health. 58 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,720 - Nan ? Nan ! - I feel very tired. 59 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,040 Mom ? Mom, is something going on with Nan ? 60 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,840 Is she having a heart attack or something ? 61 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,160 Mom. Mom ! 62 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,520 You'll need to wear a defibrillator for a few months 63 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,400 while we monitor your situation. 64 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,520 Bollocking shit-licker ! 65 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,520 Phil ! Don't do that. Chrissakes. 66 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,600 - Oh, God. - Fuck you ! 67 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,440 Mom ! What are you doing right now ? 68 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,720 Well... that's incredibly rude and dangerous. 69 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:09,520 It's not for you, it's for the driver to have road rage if she so chooses. 70 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,080 Jesus ! Behave ! Close your window. 71 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,800 God. 72 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,480 You guys, don't encourage her. 73 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:21,880 Follow that driver ! MOONX357. That's the number plate. 74 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,240 Hey, hey, hey... I mean... 75 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,480 Mom ! That's it. 76 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,160 Okay... 77 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,080 - Get out. - Don't be ridiculous. 78 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,640 Mom. 79 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Get out. 80 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,080 I have a serious heart condition. I could pop off at any moment. 81 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,800 Which you'd be very glad about when I'm not in your hair anymore. 82 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,040 Bro, that's what the defibrillator is for. 83 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,840 It'll shock you and call the hospital. 84 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,520 It even has a GPS, in case she gets lost. 85 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,440 You're not allowed in the car anymore. 86 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,880 Goodbye, now. If you can't behave, you can't stay. 87 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,640 Go on ! Get going. You can leave me here 88 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,520 like the squirrels and the skunks and the roadkills. 89 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,080 Okay, bye. 90 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,680 Nan, come back ! 91 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,440 - Phil ! - Nan, oh, my God ! 92 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,920 Come back. Stop. Don't. Turn around. 93 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,080 - Mom ! You can't just do that ! - Mom. You can't do that. 94 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,920 Okay. Phil, that's enough, come back. 95 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,080 - Wow. Okay. - Mom, you can't just do that. 96 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,520 - Yes, I can. - No, you can't. Go back. 97 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,760 - Go back. - Mom. 98 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:36,920 Let me enjoy this. 99 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,320 I have had custody of your grandmother the whole time you've been away. 100 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,600 Mom, this isn't funny anymore and it's raining ! 101 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,800 She could get electrocuted. "Shock, shock, shock, shock." Mom ! 102 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,480 Okay, okay. I'm going back. 103 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,120 Getting the old hawk. 104 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,240 So, did you guys have fun at your dad's ? 105 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,720 It was fine. All G. 106 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,520 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 107 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,800 Can we get Fruit by the Foot ? They didn't let us have any fun food. 108 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,800 Fruit by the Foot ? You know it. 109 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,520 Nan ! 110 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,360 - Nan, you have to come back. - What ? Why ? 111 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,320 - She doesn't mean it... - No, she does mean it. She does. 112 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:36,040 2Thank you, Frankie. Thank you. You see ? Your girls look after me. 113 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,760 - I was gonna walk home, actually. - Yeah. 114 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,560 You wouldn't have got me. Would you ? 115 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,120 Thank you, guys. 116 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:16,120 Dear useless dick. Parenting 101. 117 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,880 Don't go through the kids. 118 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,960 Parenting 101. Don't go through the kids. 119 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,920 Don't go through the kids. 120 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,240 Don't go through the kids. Go through your soulless attorney. 121 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,600 - Sprang Break ! - Sprang Break ! 122 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:35,960 Mom. 123 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,360 Morning. Coffee ? 124 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:44,840 I worked until 2:30. Can you please just... 125 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:49,320 Mom, I love you. Can you... just go ? Please. 126 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,280 There's all kinds of things that... 127 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,400 people can participate in during the day, 128 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,960 even if they have jobs at night 129 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:08,280 and they wake up and they go out, let the sun hit their skin. 130 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:12,200 Even if they work in restaurants 131 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,440 and there's all kinds of things they can participate in. 132 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:20,800 Work at night and actually see the light of day, maybe. 133 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,040 I don't know. It's a crazy thought. 134 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,960 Mom. Mom ! Mom. 135 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,600 - Chef. Sam. - Yes. 136 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:16,080 - Samwell Tarly. - Your grace. Breakfast is ready. 137 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,600 - Mom. - Yes. 138 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,560 - So. - Yes ? What ? 139 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:26,040 I kinda want... a... 140 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,120 I kinda want... 141 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,640 I want a big party this year for my birthday. 142 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,960 What ? Serious ? 143 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:39,080 Yeah. I really do. I want a big party. I've never had one before. 144 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,920 Who you telling ? I've been wanting to do something like this for you forever. 145 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,400 - Okay, well, I want a party. - Okay. 146 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,440 Okay ! This is the best thing ever ! What do you want ? 147 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,480 You want a party bus with a stripper pole ? You want Moonlight Rollerway ? 148 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,120 You want a girls party ? You're gonna be 15. 149 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,120 You're gonna be 15. Oh, Jesus. 150 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,880 Oh, God, I hope you take it easier on me at 15 than Max did. 151 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,520 That was intunse. 152 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,040 I know what I want. I want a quinceañera. 153 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,120 You want a quinceañera ? You can't. 154 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,400 We can't do that. We're too white for that. We're not allowed. 155 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,560 It's against the law. 156 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,520 It's not cultural appropriation, Mom, it's appreciation. 157 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,080 I want to honor the roots of the land that I literally live on, 158 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:32,640 which was for all intents and purposes, let's face it, Mexican land. 159 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:38,120 Come on, Los Feliz, Sepulveda, Pico, Santa Monica. Are you kidding me ? 160 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,520 I want to acknowledge that California is a Latinx commonwealth of people 161 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,360 who have been marginalized. 162 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,520 - You're so culturally... whatever. - No, I'm not. 163 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,080 Well, jeez, you never even had a Bat Mitzvah. 164 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,040 I know, that's the point. And now I'm too old for one. 165 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,920 And you're too Jewish for a quinceañera. 166 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,960 And you're not too old for a Bat Mitzvah. 167 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,960 You can get Bat Mitzvah'd at any age. 168 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,600 Remember, we went to Auntie Pascal's Bat Mitzvah. 169 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,120 Yeah, but Mom, I want to be the age of the thing that we're supposed to be 170 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,240 celebrating traditionally at the time. 171 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,720 - Well... - And I want my dad to come. 172 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,680 I mean... you to invite him. I want... 173 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:27,840 whether he shows up or not, I don't care. I just want... you to invite him. 174 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:34,440 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. 175 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:38,880 I'm happy to have a party for you. 176 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,560 That would be my pleasure to do that for you. 177 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,720 But you have to invite my dad, Mom. 178 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,160 You have to, it's part of it. 179 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,760 "Oh, my God, shoes." 180 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,080 Sorry. Not sorry. Will you ? 181 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,200 Yes. Yup. Yes, I am. I will do that. 182 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,480 I love you. 183 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,760 I love you. 184 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,640 All right, and... oh, my God, shoes. 185 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,880 "These shoes rule." 186 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,160 "These shoes suck." 187 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,920 "These shoes suck." 188 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,600 I'M DYING 189 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,000 "These shoes suck." 190 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,040 Oh, my God. Shoes... 191 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,760 He's young, honey. 192 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,080 That's what young people do, they move on. 193 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,000 You need some more brown ? 194 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,480 I don't think I should. I don't think I should. 195 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,360 I think the brown is getting me more down. 196 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,680 - I knew I was in for pain. - Yeah. 197 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,680 Well, at least he had the balls to be honest with you. 198 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,840 Finally, I had to say the words... 199 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,880 "You seem different, what's going on ?" 200 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,040 And when he said... 201 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,120 "I feel like I'm not as into it as you are," 202 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,960 I argued with him. 203 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,720 I tried to talk him into... loving me. 204 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,960 I tried to talk him into it. 205 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,680 Tried to talk him into loving me the way I had loved him, and... 206 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,440 That's insane. 207 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,560 It's stupid. 208 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,880 But I didn't care. 209 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,240 - Super attractive. - Yeah, really cute. 210 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,920 - Cute, right ? - It's like a pheromone. Desperacy. 211 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,120 That is such a good look on me. 212 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,760 - Hi. I'm sorry. - No, no. 213 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,120 You okay, Guncle Rico ? 214 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,760 This is so embarrassing. I'm a mess. 215 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,360 Come here. 216 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,680 Thank you. 217 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:51,120 Do you know, you're gonna get through this. Time is your friend. 218 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,800 And we're all here for you. And you'll find love again. 219 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,720 And if you put the work in now, you'll be better in the long run. 220 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:04,280 And later, when you meet someone, they'll be better for you. 221 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,320 Because you'll be better then, too. 222 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,320 Okay. 223 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,120 Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. 224 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,160 - See you in the morning light. - Not if I see you first. 225 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,960 I love you both. 226 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,440 - I can't believe she even exists. - Same. 227 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,640 - That killed me. - Yeah. 228 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,040 - Why don't you put the Housewives on ? - Yes. 229 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,640 - Housewives. - Yeah. 230 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,200 - Good ? - Yes. 231 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,400 I love you so much ! 232 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,160 I love you more. 233 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:25,080 Well, I hope you're ready. 'Cause 234 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:29,120 tonight's the night I'm finally gonna stick it in. 235 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,440 Fuck yeah. 236 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,640 My evil plan worked. 237 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,920 - You turned me. - I turned you, yes. 238 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,320 - Oh, this is a good one. - You've seen this ? 239 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:53,080 Dooker ! Get chocolate from the secret drawer ! 240 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,360 Oh, that's a great idea. 18707

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