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1
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Hear ye ! Hear ye !
I'm the town crier,
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00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,960
here to wish you
a happy Harvest Day.
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00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,120
We're gonna kick off festivities
with a play commemorating
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00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:16,080
the first-ever Harvest Day, which
was celebrated, peacefully,
5
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,720
by King Cragnoor's
knights and the native Leaf People.
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,280
Give a round of applause.
How adorable !
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00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,760
Will this performance
mention how we murdered
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00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,080
the Leaf People
and stole their land ?
9
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,760
History always gets whitewashed
over time.
10
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,280
The genocide happened three
years ago. We were all there.
11
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,800
There was a tribe called the Leaf
People, who, for years,
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00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,080
lived just outside of Lower Murkford,
doing whatever it is they did.
13
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,760
Corn.
Then the noble King Cragnoor
14
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,760
led an expedition
to the Leaf Person territory
15
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,880
in order to be friends with them.
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00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,040
I'm King Cragnoor the Kind,
and I love the Leaf People.
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00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,200
Oh, wonderful.
18
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,320
- Can I have this land, please ?
- Yes. We do not want it. Goodbye.
19
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,840
And then the Leaf People just...
20
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,680
You know, they went away.
Bye-bye !
21
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,120
We killed them !
22
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,920
That's why once a year,
on Harvest Day, we celebrate peace,
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00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,680
togetherness, and the winning
spirit of Lower Murkford.
24
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:25,800
The end.
25
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,000
Why are you clapping ?
26
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,200
The little kid who played
Cragnoor was electric.
27
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,120
- Happy Harvest Day !
- Encore !
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00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:44,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
29
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,600
MIRACLE WORKERS
DARK AGES
30
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,680
- That bone stew is smelling great.
- Wouldn't be Harvest Day without it.
31
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:16,040
I'm so excited for Bert to get here.
Will you tell your famous wolf story ?
32
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,960
Are you excited, Al ?
33
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,800
No, not really. Me and Bert
fight every year, and I hate him.
34
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,760
I know you're not too crazy
about his politics.
35
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,720
Yeah, the guy is nuts. He voted
for King Cragnoor. That's crazy.
36
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,720
- Why is that crazy ?
- Because we're a monarchy.
37
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:36,040
We don't even get a vote. Uncle Bert
wrote "Cragnoor" on a piece of paper
38
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,120
because he loves the guy so much.
39
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,960
Can we just have a nice dinner ?
40
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,680
Bert's my little brother, and I don't
get to see him very often.
41
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,800
- He did have a pretty rough year.
- I can be civil.
42
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:52,400
As long as he can be civil, too,
there won't be any problems.
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00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,480
They're here.
44
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:57,680
Bert alert !
45
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,560
Cousin Chip, Cousin Tunt !
46
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,680
- How the hell you doing ?
- Can't complain.
47
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,520
- There's our little bookworm.
- Hi, Uncle Bert.
48
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,200
Al just started
in the family business.
49
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,400
Puttin' that fancy degree
to good use, huh ?
50
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,920
Pow ! Bert alert !
51
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,680
Hey, be a doll, uncork that bottle
for me here. Thanks, hon.
52
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,440
Sure thing, Uncle Bert.
53
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,240
Chauncley, your aunt
and uncles are here.
54
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,760
King Trex. King Morgdon.
Queen Gamillagoor.
55
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,960
Lord Vexler. Have you ever
noticed how my family is
56
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,360
so, I don't know, stiff
and formal with each other ?
57
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,520
Let's shake hands in acknowledgement
of each other's presence.
58
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,680
It's just like,
where's the love, you know ?
59
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,560
You come from a family
of insane warlords.
60
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:05,280
- They could kill each other.
- It'd be nice if we could bond.
61
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,840
If we can't connect as a family
on Harvest Day, then when can we ?
62
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,360
Stay out of the way and let the day
pass without incident.
63
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,920
Or I could curate a fun series
of games and other icebreakers
64
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,440
that will tear down the walls
my relatives have put up.
65
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,600
Did someone say
"Family Game Night" ?
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00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,160
I did. It was me.
67
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,600
Shall we commence with small talk
about how traffic was on the way here ?
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00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,360
'Twas rough.
69
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,000
Color forty-two !
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00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,320
Hut, hut, hike !
71
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,520
- How was the trip over, Bert ?
- Not good.
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00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,360
We stopped
at breakfast in Middle Murkford.
73
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,400
And we had this guy serving us.
74
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,280
He smelled like he just
got off the spice trail.
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00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,040
I said, "I don't know
where you come from,"
76
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,280
"but around here, there ain't
no sea monsters and we wash our ass."
77
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,240
I forgot. I'm supposed to watch
my words around this one.
78
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,240
You're a grown man. You're allowed
to say whatever's on your mind.
79
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,400
Yeah, for now.
80
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,000
Pretty soon, you won't be able
to say anything anymore.
81
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,320
I have an idea. Why don't we
all say what we're grateful for.
82
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,960
I'll start. I'm grateful
for this beautiful home,
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00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,680
my wonderful son, and my brilliant,
talented daughter.
84
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,600
And I'm grateful for my boys.
85
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,000
But, more than anything,
I'm grateful that I live in Murkford,
86
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,560
and that's something that
we all should be grateful for.
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00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,200
And you can thank
King Cragnoor for that.
88
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,240
I might argue that Cragnoor
is the absolute worst king
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00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,560
in the history
of the entire realm.
90
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,160
You're young. You haven't been
out in the real world.
91
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,920
You don't know how it works.
92
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,880
Says the guy who's hardly
ever left the swamp.
93
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,440
I think the claws are coming out.
94
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,880
Pow ! Bert alert !
95
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,720
Round one, Uncle Bert.
96
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,120
Please excuse me.
97
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,960
Hey, Al, come back downstairs.
The bone stew is almost ready.
98
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,960
Dad and Uncle Bert
might tell the wolf story soon.
99
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,600
I'll come down in a bit.
100
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,960
And Uncle Bert and I are going to have
a very interesting conversation.
101
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,240
Be nice to Uncle Bert.
He's had a really rough year.
102
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,400
You know what happened
between him and Aunt Rhonda.
103
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,000
That doesn't give him a pass
to be a full-blown nightmare.
104
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,840
Dad said that you can't
fight with Uncle Bert.
105
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,560
He did not say I can't
carefully outfox him
106
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,080
with a set of well-researched
political talking points,
107
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,360
all backed up with objective
statistics and facts.
108
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,760
That's just 'cause Dad
doesn't know those words.
109
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,320
That is how you play charades.
So, who'd like to go first ?
110
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,360
- Uncle Morgdon, how about you ?
- I accept.
111
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,760
So, I just pretend to do the thing
that it says on the paper.
112
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,640
- Exactly.
- Very well.
113
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,360
- Beheading a man.
- Clubbing the head of a rival queen.
114
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,320
- Beheading an innocent man.
- Hurling a corpse off a mountain.
115
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,960
- I said beheading an innocent man.
- No.
116
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,840
No talking.
117
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,360
- Fishing.
- Correct.
118
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,640
- That was fun.
- Yes, that was fun.
119
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,240
- I enjoyed myself also.
- I, too, am enjoying myself.
120
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,720
This is nice.
121
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,280
Yes. It feels good to be
the winner of the game...
122
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,280
And, therefore, the best.
123
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:22,360
- Chauncley, introduce the next game.
- Absolutely. Told you.
124
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,080
Stew's almost ready.
125
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,440
- Hey ! She lives.
- Hey, Bert.
126
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,600
You work in the sludge-mining
industry, right ?
127
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,920
Local thirteen.
128
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,560
I heard an interesting little
factoid the other day.
129
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,520
King Cragnoor doesn't use locally
mined sludge in his castle moat.
130
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:55,760
That's fake. People like you just
believe the lies that the town crier
131
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,920
is trying to shove down
your mutton-hole.
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00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:03,000
King Cragnoor is the best thing
that ever happened to Murkford.
133
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,600
- Amen, brother !
- Amen.
134
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,880
- Mikey, you're on Uncle Bert's side ?
- He's a lot louder than you are.
135
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,880
- Pow !
- Bert alert !
136
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,800
A gauntlet.
137
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,280
- A castle keep.
- No.
138
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,600
A map. Is it a cloud ?
It doesn't look like anything.
139
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,240
- Time's up.
- 'Twas an eagle.
140
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,720
- One wing, other wing, the tail.
- Have you ever seen an eagle ?!
141
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,240
- You haven't seen an eagle !
- You do not know what I have seen.
142
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,680
Prince, let's just serve dinner and
get these maniacs out of here.
143
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,560
I'll just calm things down
with a lighter game.
144
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,880
Okay, this next game is called
"Never Have I Ever."
145
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,920
I say something that I've never done,
and if you have done it...
146
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,280
- You get to take a little drink.
- Okay. I've got one.
147
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,880
Never have I ever
brought shame upon my kingdom
148
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,840
due to my own incompetence
and cowardice.
149
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,920
- Was that directed at me ?
- It definitely isn't me.
150
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:16,200
- Maybe it was directed at all of you.
- We can just have a lovely dinner.
151
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,920
Never have I ever been closer
to pulling my sword on my own kin !
152
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,880
- Nor have I.
- Nor have I.
153
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,480
Nor I.
154
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,920
- Okay.
- To vengeance !
155
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:54,120
It is done !
I have slain my siblings !
156
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,960
Family is nothing !
Happy Harvest Day !
157
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,320
Now, that was fun !
158
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,440
You can't deny that
ever since King Cragnoor took over,
159
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,800
poverty has been at an all-time high
in Lower Murkford.
160
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,840
Your generation just
doesn't want to work hard.
161
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,800
This stew's just about ready.
I can smell the bones getting soft.
162
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,160
All you got to do is pull yourself up
by your bootstraps.
163
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,560
- That's how Cragnoor did it.
- He was born into royalty.
164
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:38,120
- You're stupid.
- Careful, you might hurt my feelings.
165
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:42,440
- Oh, my God ! You're impossible !
- This stew is really good.
166
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:47,480
You're the one who brought this stuff
up. Why do you get so emotional ?
167
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,960
Emotional ?!
168
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:55,360
I bet you were pretty emotional when
your wife left you for the town baker.
169
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,400
Pow ! Al alert, bitch !
170
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,800
It's true.
171
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:20,880
Boys, I know I told you that your mom
was away on a long business trip,
172
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,920
but I lied
173
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,240
because I was too embarrassed
to tell you the truth.
174
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:39,400
Your mother left me because
I wasn't able to please her sexually.
175
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,520
So she ran off with the town baker
176
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,480
because he was better at having
sex with her than I was.
177
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,440
Pow. Sad alert.
178
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,560
Bert... She didn't mean to...
179
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,240
I think it's time
that we got going here.
180
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:13,800
I was gonna give you this
after dinner, but... Here.
181
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,320
Your dad said you like books.
I don't know what they are,
182
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,160
but the lady at the shop
said that you'd like that one, so...
183
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,720
Come on, boys. Let's go home
to our studio apartment.
184
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:39,040
- I'm sorry, Dad.
- It's okay.
185
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,480
I mean, I guess, well,
you tried your best.
186
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,560
Yeah, so, the stew's ready.
You two should...
187
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,040
I'm just gonna go to bed.
188
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,800
Uncle Bert ? Uncle Bert !
189
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,000
Your dad is no good, boys.
He belongs in the mud.
190
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,200
Hey, Uncle Bert.
191
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,400
Listen, I'm sorry for what
I said back at the house.
192
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,480
That was a cheap shot.
193
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,320
But, yeah, I...
I guess I had it coming.
194
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,800
I shouldn't have been pushing
your buttons like that.
195
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,400
I know we don't see eye-to-eye
on everything,
196
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,640
but how about we just put that aside,
at least for the rest of tonight ?
197
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:53,560
- What do you say ? Truce ?
- Truce.
198
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,400
Okay. Come on, boys.
199
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,000
Hey, buddy ! How you doing ?
200
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,840
I just wanted one normal
holiday with my family.
201
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:21,000
And, instead, I have turned this
into the worst Harvest Day ever.
202
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,160
No. Technically,
the first Harvest Day was worse,
203
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,080
in terms of death count.
204
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,920
What do you say we eat
those dead people's desserts ?
205
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,800
Thank you. I think I just need
to get out of the castle for a bit.
206
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:55,120
- Hey, great stew, Dad.
- Yeah, thanks.
207
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,200
So, anyone got any big plans
for the year ?
208
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,960
Nope.
209
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:19,040
Uncle Bert, what was that one story
about you and Dad and the wolf ?
210
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,600
Why, that is a crazy story.
211
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,560
So, yeah, one night,
me and your old man here,
212
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:32,320
we accidentally left the door
to the house open.
213
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,040
- When we went to bed.
- Big mistake.
214
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,280
Guess what showed up in the kitchen
in the middle of the night !
215
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,560
- What ?
- A wolf !
216
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,080
- No way !
- Yeah.
217
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,320
Our old man gets on our case
for leaving the door open.
218
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,440
He gives us
this big ax and he says,
219
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,920
"Go in the forest
and don't come back"
220
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,360
"until you kill that damn wolf."
221
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,760
Nuts ! Just when the night
was getting started.
222
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,720
I'll do a liquor run.
You guys keep talking.
223
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,400
We were just four and five years old.
Never killed before.
224
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,200
- We were out there for days.
- We get captured by Visigoths.
225
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,600
- I love you, Daddy.
- I love you too, sweetie.
226
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,240
Thanks.
227
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,640
Chauncley, hey.
What are you doing in town ?
228
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,840
I was just going for a little walk.
How's your Harvest Day going ?
229
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,440
Actually starting to be kind of fun.
How about you ?
230
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,560
My dad just killed all
of my relatives in front of me.
231
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,760
- Holy shit. Are you okay ?
- Yes. I'm fine.
232
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,040
Don't worry about me. I will
let you get back to the festivities.
233
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,240
- Happy Harvest Day.
- Wait.
234
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,880
- Do you want to come over ?
- Really ?
235
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:03,320
It's pretty low-key. We're sitting
around, talking and playing games.
236
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,680
- You're playing games ?
- You in ?
237
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,600
- Yes, I'm in.
- Great.
238
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,640
You have a little blood
in your hair.
239
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,680
I thought I got it all off.
240
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,640
My dad is not what
you'd call a gentle murderer.
241
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,320
Yeah, he sucks. Do me a favor,
when we get to the house,
242
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,240
no talking about politics.
243
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,760
- Fine with me.
- Cool. Thanks, dude.
244
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,320
These ugly ducks !
245
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,040
Blowing the bugs off your pillow ?
246
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,960
Having a heatstroke at work.
Reviving a dying friend.
247
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,560
Time !
248
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,640
It was blowing on a hot goose-egg
omelet before your midday feast.
249
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,080
- So close.
- Hard one.
250
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,800
- You did well, though.
- How much do I owe you for losing ?
251
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,360
You don't have to pay me.
It's just a game.
252
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,400
Money in the bank !
253
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,960
Okay, my turn, my turn.
254
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,920
Oh, I don't know how to read.
So I'm gonna pretend to be a dog.
255
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,640
MIRACLE WORKERS
DARK AGES
255
00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:29,340
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