Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,957 --> 00:00:02,393
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,964
Oh, honey, honey,
look at this.
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:12,795
For only $8.95 a month,
we can join the Wild Game
Meat of the Month Club.
4
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,015
Wild Game? You mean
like deer and buffalo?
5
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,973
No, no, not just that.
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:21,543
Listen, we can get moose,
rabbit, bear, badger,
otter and beaver.
7
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:26,852
Frank, I am not
eating anything
that builds a dam.
8
00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:30,117
All right, but when you see
how juicy my
badger burgers are,
9
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,161
I'm not sharing.
10
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:35,774
Hey, guys.
Hi, Mark.
How was school?
11
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,689
Unchallenging as usual.
12
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,256
You know what?
I'm going to talk
to the principal
13
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,781
and see if he can't
stiffen up the curriculum.
14
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:45,871
Well, that's fine, Mark,
but I wouldn't mention this
to your other classmates.
15
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:50,180
Hey, Mom, can we talk
about my birthday party?
16
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,356
Oh, don't worry
about it, honey.
I've got it all figured out.
17
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,619
I've hired this guy
who's going to
dress up like a pirate.
18
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,491
Doesn't that
sound like fun, honey?
19
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,362
Mom, I'm turning thirteen.
20
00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,669
I think the ship has sailed
on the pirate thing.
21
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:04,847
I mean, face it,
I'm becoming a man.
22
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:09,112
Well, all right, Mark,
what kind of party
do you want?
23
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,418
A boy-girl party.
24
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,159
With girls.
25
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,377
Lots of girls.
26
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,641
Yeah, he's thirteen.
27
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,038
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
28
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,789
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
29
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,534
MAN:
♪ The dream, wide broken
30
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,492
♪ Seemed like all was lost
31
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,320
♪ What would be the future
32
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,017
♪ Could you pay the cost
33
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,628
♪ You wonder
34
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:50,327
♪ Will there ever be
a second time around?
35
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,156
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
36
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,810
♪ When the tears are over
37
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,899
♪ And the moment has come
38
00:01:56,986 --> 00:02:00,685
♪ Say "My lord,
I think I found someone"
39
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,687
♪ And no one would be better
40
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:07,301
♪ To be putting it together
For the second time around
41
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:16,353
ALL:
♪ Step by step
Day by day
42
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,659
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
43
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:18,834
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
44
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,662
♪ A different hand to play
45
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:24,796
♪ The deeper we fall
The stronger we stay
46
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:28,670
MAN:
♪ And we'll be better
The second time around
47
00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:32,456
ALL:
♪ Step by step
Day by day
48
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,589
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
49
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,721
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
50
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,739
[TV PLAYING]
51
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,968
Hi, Cody.
Whoa, hey.
52
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,752
The Kare bear
and the Dana burger,
53
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,319
home from their big day
at the Halls of Learning, huh?
54
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,583
Hey, the Codeman,
55
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,890
sitting in front of the TV
like a big, giant sloth.
56
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,240
Yeah, buddy.
57
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,418
Hey, what were
you watching?
58
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,812
Oh, man, Oprah's doing
a big special
59
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,031
on the "Adult Children
of Sumo Wrestlers."
60
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,427
Yeah, man, I thought
my parents messed me up.
61
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,564
Hey, guys, guess what?
62
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,522
I got my first "A"
in high school today.
63
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,872
All right,
way to go, Jackson.
64
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,657
What'd you get the "A" in, JT?
65
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,701
Auto shop.
66
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:46,922
"Auto shop?"
67
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,880
[SMIRKING]
68
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,882
No, Auto Shop
is not a class.
69
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,494
It's a holding cell
for criminals until they
get out of high school.
70
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,714
No, you're wrong, Dana.
71
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,847
Auto shop's a lot tougher
than you think.
72
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,153
Hey, you gotta
learn a lot of
really complicated stuff,
73
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,722
like engineering, physics,
74
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,377
how to eat lunch
when your hands are,
like, really dirty.
75
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,816
Yeah. And for
your information,
76
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:15,037
I had to take
a very difficult final exam.
77
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,778
Yeah, right. What
did that consist of,
78
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,780
exposing your butt crack
while you checked the oil?
79
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:24,525
No.
80
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:30,966
I had to change the oil,
change a tire, and do
a complete tune up.
81
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,794
I'd like to see you do that.
82
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,491
If you can do it,
I can do it.
83
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,797
Why would you want to do it?
84
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:38,016
That's why God invented men,
85
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:41,324
to fix cars
and kill spiders.
86
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,587
I'm not talking about men,
I'm talking about JT.
87
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,591
If he can fix a car,
then anybody can.
88
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,071
Oh, really?
89
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,986
Would you like to make
a bet about that?
90
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,466
Sure. What's the bet?
91
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,032
Okay.
92
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,339
You have to do my
final exam for auto shop.
93
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,907
If you pass, I have to do
your chores for a month.
94
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,301
If you fail,
you have to do mine.
95
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:03,041
You're on.
96
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:06,001
Boy, this would make
a great game show.
97
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:08,917
Automotive Battle
of the Step Siblings.
98
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,659
JT and the Dana burger,
come on down.
99
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,204
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
100
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,032
Who is it?
101
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:39,208
FRANK: Yeah, it's me, Mark.
I need some nail clippers.
102
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,340
Come on in.
103
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,255
Won't bother you but a minute.
104
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,953
What are you doing?
105
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,520
Oh, you know,
getting ready
for my party.
106
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,522
Showering,
taking a shave.
107
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,958
A shave?
108
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,569
Really?
109
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,179
How long have you
been shaving, Mark?
110
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:58,706
Actually, Frank, this is
my maiden voyage.
111
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,708
I figured since I'm
turning thirteen, you know,
112
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,145
and becoming a man,
I probably needed one.
113
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,451
Well, let me
take a look here.
114
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,323
Whoa.
115
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,674
You definitely have some
manly stubble coming in there.
116
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,981
You know, since this
is your first time,
117
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:16,201
and a very important moment
in a man's life,
maybe I should help, huh?
118
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,552
You lather up
119
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,729
and I'll go get
a special razor that my dad
taught me how to shave with.
120
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,121
Gee, thanks, Frank.
121
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,253
No problem.
122
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,437
What the hell
are you doing?
123
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,225
What does it look like?
I'm shaving.
124
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,313
Shaving what?
125
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,969
My face.
126
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:48,059
Oh, yeah, well, I guess
that makes sense.
127
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,583
I see you've already
done your legs.
128
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,201
Yeah, hey, whoa,
hey, ho, buddy!
129
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,290
Hey, that's enough.
130
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,162
You're just going to shave,
not foam down
a runway, okay?
131
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,251
That's about enough
right there, okay?
132
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:09,603
Now, I want you to just
spread that all over
your face there.
133
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:10,908
Like this?
Yeah.
134
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,258
Yeah, nice, smooth.
Both sides.
135
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,956
That's looking good.
136
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,958
Okay, now and then
we need a little right
137
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:19,830
there.
138
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,397
Okay, now,
139
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,877
here's the razor.
140
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,401
Be very careful.
141
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,711
Nice, even strokes.
142
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,974
Straight down,
never sideways.
143
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,933
Hey, Frank,
I'm really shaving.
144
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,501
Just like I
learned to years ago.
145
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,768
Oh, my God, Mark,
what are you doing?
146
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,770
Man stuff, Mom.
147
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:49,077
Chicks. You gotta explain
everything to them.
148
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,995
Okay, oh, that's
looking good.
149
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,301
Okay, turn around here.
Turn around.
150
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,520
Let me clean you off a little.
151
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,262
Let me see how you did.
152
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,960
Ah, smooth
as a baby's butt.
153
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,573
You did a great job.
154
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,617
Thanks, Frank.
155
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,540
Frank, I really appreciate
you helping Mark out,
156
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,324
but he could have
cut himself.
157
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,762
Not without a blade
in the razor.
158
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,942
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
159
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:40,128
Okay, you pubescent
party animals,
dinner is served.
160
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,999
Tonight, we're featuring
pepperoni pizza.
161
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,088
And, uh, for those
of you vegetarians,
162
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,568
I've picked the pepperonis
off this one.
163
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,310
All right.
164
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,659
Cody?
Yo.
165
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,139
Can I ask you a question?
166
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,445
Sure, little birthday dude.
What's up?
167
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,969
You see that
pretty girl over there?
168
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,364
Righteous little
mini babe, huh?
169
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,759
Devil with the blue dress on.
170
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:05,022
My sentiments exactly.
171
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:08,156
Her name is Marissa
and I really want
to dance with her
172
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,071
but I don't know
what to say.
173
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,507
Oh, wow, all right.
174
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,117
Let me think about this
for a minute.
175
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,599
I got it! Okay, all right.
176
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:17,992
All right, check this out.
177
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,951
You just walk up to her
and you say,
178
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:24,520
"Marissa, would you
like to dance?"
179
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,567
Yeah, that'll work
really good.
180
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,178
Ah, the direct approach.
I'll give it a shot.
181
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:31,266
All right.
182
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,444
Hey, Marissa,
want to dance?
183
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:36,532
Okay.
184
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,714
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
185
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,387
Wow, you've really got
a lot of good moves.
186
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,129
Well, what can I say?
187
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,218
I make it my policy to
"get down" with Soul Train.
188
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,049
Anyone want to
hear another tape?
189
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,138
Oh, I have a better idea.
190
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,227
Why don't we play
"Spin The Bottle?"
191
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:22,491
[HOOTING]
192
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,496
Whoa.
193
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,020
Good thing I shaved.
194
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,855
Frank, we're going to need
twice as many chips as that.
195
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:40,988
Oh, okay.
196
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,089
Hey, guess what?
197
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,787
They're playing
"Spin the Bottle" in there.
198
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,876
I'm going to go get
the video camera.
199
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,273
Gee, Frank, I don't know.
200
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,579
Do you think we ought to
let the kids play
kissing games in there?
201
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,625
Oh, come on, honey,
they're just going to
give each other little pecks.
202
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:13,585
If they start playing
strip poker, we'll raid
the place, okay?
203
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,805
Yeah, I guess you're right,
no big deal.
204
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,025
I remember my first
boy-girl party.
205
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,722
We didn't play
"Spin the Bottle" though,
206
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,681
we played a game called,
"Three Minutes in Heaven."
207
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,773
I wound up in the closet
with Dak Bodak.
208
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,907
We didn't know
what we were doing
the first couple of minutes,
209
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,562
but we started kissing
and then Dak...
210
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:34,737
Oh, my God,
I've got to get in there.
211
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,652
No, no, honey.
212
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,786
In the first place,
we don't have
a closet in there.
213
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:44,181
And in the second place,
Mark isn't anything like
this Dak Bodak guy.
214
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,662
But, lucky for you,
215
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,185
I just might be.
216
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:53,974
[KIDS CHEER]
217
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,629
All right, Marissa,
it's your turn.
218
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892
Give it a spin.
219
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,031
Hey, is that lightning?
220
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,952
Uh, I don't see anything.
221
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,562
Must have been my imagination.
222
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,741
Hey, Mark, look,
the bottle'spointing to you.
223
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,569
Well, what do you know?
224
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,615
Happy birthday to me.
225
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,928
[KIDS CHEER]
226
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,635
[LIP SYNCING]
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt
227
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,550
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt
228
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:51,858
♪ So sexy it hurts
229
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:56,471
♪ And I'm too sexy for Milan
230
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,692
♪ New York, and Japan
231
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,438
♪ I'm too sexy for your party
232
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,397
♪ Too sexy for your party... ♪
233
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,790
Hi, Mark.
234
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,271
Hi, Mom.
235
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,752
♪ I'm too sexy for my Mom
236
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,885
♪ Too sexy for my house
237
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,843
♪ Too sexy for my street ♪
238
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,455
Well, you're certainly
in a good mood today.
239
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:25,935
Why shouldn't I be?
240
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,808
Thanks to this,
I'm a young man in love.
241
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,594
How come you're
so dressed up?
242
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:35,292
Well, I used my
birthday money to send
Marissa a dozen roses.
243
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,730
And I'm just going to
pop by her house
and see how she liked them.
244
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,168
Gee, Mark, don't you think
you're moving a little fast?
245
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:44,127
Mom, there are no stop signs
on the Highway of Love.
246
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:51,482
[DOORBELL RINGS]
247
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:52,614
I'll get it.
248
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,702
Excuse moi.
249
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:02,885
Hi, Mark.
Oh, hi. Come on in.
250
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:06,628
I was on my way to
surprise you and instead,
you surprised me.
251
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,586
Mom, this is Marissa.
252
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,893
Marissa, this is my Mom.
253
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,981
Hi.
Hi.
254
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,723
Mark, I came...
255
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:17,987
I know, you came over
to thank me for the flowers.
256
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,294
Forget it.
257
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,730
There's plenty more
where that came from.
258
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,473
Actually,
259
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,431
I came over to return them.
260
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,869
"Return them?"
261
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,002
Why?
262
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:37,224
Well, it wouldn't be
right to keep them,
263
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:40,270
because I kind of like
somebody else.
264
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,533
But, I thought
you were my girlfriend.
265
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:45,493
I mean, we kissed
and everything.
266
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:50,280
Mark, the bottle
pointed at you,
so I kissed you.
267
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,370
Those are kind of the rules.
268
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,764
Right, the rules.
269
00:14:57,244 --> 00:15:00,682
Well, I better go.
270
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,466
Thanks for inviting me
to your party.
271
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:04,468
Bye.
272
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,611
I'm really sorry, Mark.
273
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,004
Just leave me alone.
274
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:34,063
Oh, no, it's a car.
275
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,804
Gee, when I accepted
the challenge,
276
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:40,591
I had no idea
it would be so big.
277
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:43,943
I don't know nothin'
'bout fixin' no cars.
278
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,033
Laugh while you can,
barky, you're still
gonna lose the bet.
279
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,730
Okay.
280
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:49,949
I'm ready to help.
281
00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:54,301
Hey, that's not
part of the deal.
282
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,694
Dana's got to do
all the dirty work herself.
283
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,696
Oh, I don't do dirty work.
284
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,612
I just read the instructions
and wear these cute coveralls.
285
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:08,837
"Step two: put a pan
in place, under the car,
to catch the old oil."
286
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:11,971
Well, my name's not Gomer,
but I'll give it a shot.
287
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,458
[CHUCKLES]
288
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:25,897
You know, Dana,
I'm really enjoying this.
289
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,988
I've always dreamed
about you being under a car.
290
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,511
Well, of course,
I was driving it.
291
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,734
Okay, the pan's in place.
What's next?
292
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:39,476
"Remove the oil plug
and let the oil drain
into the pan."
293
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,261
Got it.
294
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:44,220
Boy, I remember
my first oil change.
295
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:48,572
I was a mere lad of six,
knee high to a Pontiac.
296
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:53,403
Yeah, that's right.
It was a Tuesday.
It was raining.
297
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,319
Wait, come to think of it,
it wasn't Tuesday.
298
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,494
It wasn't raining.
299
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,019
We didn't have a car.
300
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,284
Man, I wonder whose oil
I did change?
301
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,550
Gee, that was tough.
302
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,247
All right, what's next?
303
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,336
"Make sure the oil
has finished draining
into the pan."
304
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,251
I can do that.
Here, hold this.
305
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:23,999
Cody, do you
know what this is?
306
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,958
Well, sure,
it's the oil plug.
307
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,438
DANA: All right, Karen,
put in the oil.
308
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,790
One bottle of oil,
coming right up.
309
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,274
Hey, uh, JT, can I
talk to you for a second?
310
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,192
Dude, I kind of got
a moral dilemma here.
311
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:46,282
You know, I want to tell Dana
that she forgot to put
the oil plug back in,
312
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,502
but I'm supposed to
be an impartial observer,
313
00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,112
so my tubes are tied.
314
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,029
What do you think
I should do?
315
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,987
Well, Cody, if I were you,
316
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,163
I'd just say nothing.
317
00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,384
Are you sure that's
the right thing to do?
318
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,646
Oh, yeah.
319
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:11,481
Okay, I got the oil.
320
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,570
This doesn't explode
like Champagne, does it?
321
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,791
Just put it in.
322
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,234
[SCREAMS]
323
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,070
What happened?
324
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,811
[CHUCKLES]
325
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,119
This is what happened.
326
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,469
You see,
this is an oil plug.
327
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:45,124
It's what keeps the oil
inside of the engine,
328
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,778
instead of running out
all over you.
329
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,087
But I figured you'd know that.
330
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,133
After all, you know,
any idiot would.
331
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,355
Well, Dana, you know,
since JT got
a hundred on his test,
332
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:02,271
I guess I'm gonna have
to declare you
the loser of the bet.
333
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,404
But look at the bright side,
334
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,536
your face won't show
any wear for the next
five thousand miles.
335
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,160
Mark, you've been in there
over an hour.
336
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:22,726
Can't we talk about this?
337
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,294
MARK: Go away. I can't talk to you.
338
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,426
You're one of them.
339
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,559
One of whom?
340
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,300
Girls. That's whom.
341
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,433
You're all alike.
342
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,610
Okay, honey, I fixed
that outlet in the bedroom.
Anything else?
343
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,525
Mark had his heart broken
by some girl
344
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,004
and now he's locked
himself in the bathroom
345
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:42,006
and he doesn't even
want to talk to me.
346
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,791
Well, of course not, honey.
You're one of them.
347
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,926
Come on, this is man stuff.
348
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,581
Here, come on,
let me handle it, huh?
349
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:55,019
Hey, Mark, it's your old
shaving partner.
Can I come in?
350
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,804
Are any of them out there?
351
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,157
Nope. All of them are gone.
352
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,167
Hey.
353
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,909
How you doing, pal?
354
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,520
Not so good.
355
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,348
I thought Marissa
was my girlfriend.
356
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,437
I guess I was wrong.
357
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:26,660
Oh, I hear you.
358
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:30,446
Boy, getting dumped
really hurts, doesn't it?
359
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:31,491
It sure does.
360
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,580
Yeah, I know.
361
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:39,803
but I've got to tell you,
pal, it's all part
of being a man.
362
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:43,242
I mean, when you grow up,
you've got to take some risks.
363
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,723
If you ask somebody
to be your girlfriend,
she might say, "no."
364
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,726
But you can't let that
stop you from trying,
365
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:52,599
because one day you're
going to find a girl
366
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,732
who likes you just
as much as you like her.
367
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,995
I know, but I want one now.
368
00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:12,271
I know, that's all part
of being a man, too.
369
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:18,146
Well, that's why they
invented sports.
370
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:21,932
Oh.
371
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:26,415
Oh, so that's why
JT runs track.
372
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:31,028
Exactly. So, you just
hang in there, huh?
373
00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:33,988
Thanks, Frank.
374
00:21:34,075 --> 00:21:39,341
Hey, you have got
that manly stubble
happening again.
375
00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:41,691
How long has it been
since you shaved?
376
00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,563
About eighteen hours ago.
377
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:45,260
You got to do it again.
378
00:21:46,653 --> 00:21:47,958
You get up there
and lather up,
379
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:50,265
and I'll go get my dad's
special razor, huh?
380
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:51,614
Uh, Frank.
Yeah?
381
00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:53,529
This time, can we
put a blade in it?
382
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:57,403
Yeah.
383
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:03,539
[SINGING]
♪ I'm too sexy for my face
384
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:05,236
♪ Too sexy for my face
385
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,587
♪ So sexy it hurts ♪
386
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:13,984
Hello, Judy.
This is Mark Foster.
387
00:22:14,071 --> 00:22:16,335
Would you like to go to
the movies with me
Saturday night?
388
00:22:17,988 --> 00:22:19,773
All right,
thanks anyway.
389
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,689
Shot down again.
390
00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:24,995
I'm never going to get a date.
391
00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:27,476
Mark, I'm a salesman.
392
00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,959
Everything in life
is a numbers game.
393
00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:33,613
You ask a hundred girls out
394
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,093
and one of them
is bound to say yes.
395
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:38,139
All right, call
number fifty eight.
396
00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:44,667
Hello, Mary?
This is Mark Foster...
397
00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:46,016
[DIAL TONE]
398
00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,104
She hung up.
399
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:49,106
Fifty nine.
400
00:22:54,024 --> 00:22:56,331
Hello, Becky?
This is Mark Foster.
401
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:59,508
Would you like to go
to the movies with me
Saturday night?
402
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:01,641
You would?
Well, thanks anyway.
403
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:03,425
Who's next?
404
00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:08,822
Wait a minute.
That, that sounded
like she said "yes."
405
00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:11,085
Wait a minute, she did!
406
00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:13,087
Hello, hello, Becky?
Becky? Hello?
407
00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:14,131
Where's her number?
29462
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
