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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,790 Dre: Growing up, we didn't have much, 2 00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:05,750 so when you actually got a gift? 3 00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:07,080 It was special. 4 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,500 There you go, baby, the "Running Scared" soundtrack. 5 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,750 Found it on the ground at work. 6 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:13,790 There you go. [ Chuckles ] 7 00:00:13,790 --> 00:00:15,620 All right, now. 8 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:18,170 For real, whoever said "It's the thought that counts" 9 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:20,080 never got a gift from Andre Johnson. 10 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:20,790 Voilà! 11 00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:22,620 Ohh! 12 00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:24,380 Baby, look at this! 13 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,290 There gonna be some changes around here. 14 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:28,460 Anybody got a problem wearing short shorts? 15 00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:31,120 And no one gets more Andre Johnson gifts 16 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,580 than Andre Johnson's queen. 17 00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:33,620 Bam! 18 00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,420 Ohh, Dre. 19 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:37,290 Bam! 20 00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:39,830 It's incredible! 21 00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:41,500 Bam! Oh, oh! 22 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,250 Oh! 23 00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,540 You'd think someone as gifted as I was 24 00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:47,080 in the art of presentry 25 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,670 would marry someone with similar skills, right? 26 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:51,620 Happy birthday. 27 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:55,540 ♪ Just leave all the madness in yesterday ♪ 28 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:58,750 ♪ You're holdin' the key when you believe it ♪ 29 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:00,330 No. No, Dre. 30 00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:01,960 Hey, hey. Where's it at? 31 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,380 Dre. What? 32 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:04,500 Dre. 33 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,290 ♪ You are the magic ♪ 34 00:01:06,290 --> 00:01:08,500 Look at that, it's your first print ad. 35 00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:11,080 Oh. How thoughtful. 36 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,080 But no, Bow's terrible at giving gifts. 37 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,500 ♪♪ 38 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,920 So, Dre. Yeah? 39 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,290 So what'd you get Bow for her birthday? 40 00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,000 How did you know it was my wife's birthday? 41 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,040 Well, I keep all the important Black Lady Birthdays 42 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,250 in my Important Black Lady Birthday calendar. 43 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,750 November, Whoopi. 44 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,540 December, Janelle. 45 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:33,880 January, Oprah. 46 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,960 February, your wife. 47 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,620 Now... Mm-hmm. 48 00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:39,670 ...if you haven't gotten her anything yet, 49 00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:42,460 I am happy to pop out of a cake for you. What? 50 00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:43,830 What are you gonna get her? 51 00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,040 I mean, are you gonna get her flowers, 52 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,790 a spa day, or a hall pass? [ Chuckles ] 53 00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:50,620 No. No, I got her something that she's going to love 54 00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,500 because we all know that I am great at gift-giving. 55 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:54,880 Stevens: That's true. That's true. 56 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,170 This man once gave me clean urine. It wasn't mine. 57 00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:59,040 And you once gave me that DNA test 58 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,670 that proved I was 23 percent Norwegian 59 00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,750 and zero percent my father's child. 60 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:06,380 I wish Bow was as good at gift-giving as I am. 61 00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:08,500 You know, last week for my birthday, 62 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,250 she framed my awful first print ad. 63 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,750 Not -- not the Honda "Run Dat" campaign? 64 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,710 No. "Getting Jiggy with Jif"? 65 00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:18,620 Nope. "Kaiser Permanente: Ooh Child"? 66 00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:21,670 No. Wow, Dre, you really were phoning it in back then. 67 00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:25,120 But you know what? Giving good gifts is a solid half of what a wife is for. 68 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,710 I mean, what else does that woman do with her time? 69 00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:29,880 She's a massage therapist, for God's sakes. 70 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,830 My wife is an anesthesiologist. 71 00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,620 And janitors are custodians. 72 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,710 I get it, Dre, but you have got to talk to her about this. 73 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:36,920 She's never gonna get better. 74 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,330 Okay, hold on, hold on. 75 00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,080 My wife is one of the busiest, 76 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,500 most badass people that I know. 77 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,620 And she does everything great that matters. 78 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,880 So, you know, I-I really think I'm overreacting on this. 79 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,210 Yes, you are. Because you have a beautiful wife. 80 00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,580 A beautiful Black lady wife. 81 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:56,080 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go send Erykah Badu 82 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,170 an Edible Arrangement for her birthday. 83 00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:00,000 Oh, okay. I don't have the address, 84 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,420 but I figured if I put "Erykah Badu, Atlanta" 85 00:03:02,420 --> 00:03:04,710 on there, she should get it. 86 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,120 ♪♪ 87 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,040 [ Door opens ] 88 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,080 Uh-oh. 89 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,790 Must be girl trouble. [ Chuckles ] 90 00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:17,620 Your father used to look like that when he got dumped. 91 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:21,120 Damaged a lot of kitchen tables with that anvil head of his. 92 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,460 All right, what happened? 93 00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,290 Well, Jack asked Savannah out. 94 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,830 It was the best lunchtime drama 95 00:03:27,830 --> 00:03:29,670 since Britney lied and told people 96 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:31,670 that she was dating one of the "Stranger Things" kids. 97 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,880 It was supposed to be romantic. Mm. 98 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,620 Like one of those YouTube prom-posals. 99 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:37,380 But instead... 100 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,290 I found out she has... 101 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:41,880 [ Slow-motion ] ...a boyfriend. 102 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,330 I don't understand. 103 00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:45,790 We talked all night at Diane's sleepover. 104 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,170 We had a connection. 105 00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:48,330 I told her my hopes -- 106 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:49,750 Meeting Mr. Peanut. 107 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:50,750 And my fears. 108 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:51,830 Mr. Peanut's a jerk. 109 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,170 It's not fair. 110 00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:55,420 Okay, Jack, let me ask you something. 111 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:57,540 Have you ever met this boyfriend? 112 00:03:57,540 --> 00:03:58,620 Hmm, no. 113 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,460 Mm-hmm. 114 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:03,580 Sounds to me like she's just playing the game. 115 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:07,080 You ignore this girl and ask out her best friend. 116 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,460 She'll be yours in no time. 117 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,120 Really? Mm-hmm. 118 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,290 Trust me, it's how I imploded The Commodores. 119 00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:19,170 I played Walter Orange like a slap bass. 120 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:22,460 [ Imitating bass ] 121 00:04:22,460 --> 00:04:24,830 Almond milk? That's Charlie's. 122 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:27,620 Dijon mustard? That's Charlie's. 123 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:30,420 Amoxicillin? Better believe that's Charlie's. 124 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,420 Junior: Hey, Charlie, 125 00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:34,710 Mr. Stevens is letting me pitch an account, 126 00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:36,670 and I wanted to run a few ideas by you. 127 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:37,960 Okay, that makes sense. 128 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,330 I am a respected advertising professional, so go ahead. 129 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,330 [ Chuckles ] That you are! 130 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,710 Also everyone else is at lunch. 131 00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:47,750 So, the campaign is for these pants called Fielders, 132 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,540 and I was thinking we take a social media approach 133 00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,750 and try to -- Hold on. 134 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,210 Fielders sell khakis old men buy at grocery stores. 135 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,500 You as much as mention "hashtag," 136 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,960 you lost their business. 137 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,830 Now, imagine advertising something basic, like potatoes. 138 00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:04,420 How am I supposed to come up with a good campaign 139 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,420 if I have to be basic and bland? 140 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,250 Therein lies the challenge. 141 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,920 You must immerse yourself in blandness. 142 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,170 Hey, guys, there's a green pepper in my chicken salad -- 143 00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:15,620 too spicy for me -- I'll take it. 144 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:18,330 Um... Charlie's. 145 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,290 Hey. Necco wafer? 146 00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:26,460 Hey, Josh. 147 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,960 Let me pick your brain for a second. 148 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,500 Sure! 149 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,620 Talking to the guys made me realize -- 150 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:34,500 so what if Bow was terrible at gifts? 151 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,330 I was big enough to put my personal feelings aside 152 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:38,830 and get my badass wife 153 00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:40,790 the fanciest present I could find. 154 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:42,420 Bow? Rainbow: Mm-hmm? 155 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:43,500 Come in here, babe. 156 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,960 You know what today is! 157 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,420 Is it Flag Day? No. 158 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:50,290 Arbor Day? 159 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:51,620 Unh-unh, guess again. 160 00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:54,330 [ Gasps ] Oh, is it my birthday? 161 00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:56,380 Yes, it is! [ Squeals ] 162 00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:58,960 And you have something for me? 163 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,120 Yes, I do. [ Squeals ] 164 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,080 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 165 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,120 Okay, I'm gonna open it. Okay. 166 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,170 [ Gasps ] 167 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,670 Ohh, Dre! 168 00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:08,880 Mm-hmm. 169 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,170 Oh, this is incredible. 170 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:14,080 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! 171 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,500 It is, isn't it? Oh, what -- 172 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,500 D-Dre, I can't wait to show everybody. 173 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:20,040 [ Muttering ] Yeah, at least one of us knocks it out of the park every year. 174 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:20,920 What did you say? Hmm? 175 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,080 You know what, babe? 176 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,040 I'm just going to come clean. 177 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,460 Year after year... Yeah. 178 00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,540 ...I give you the best presents in the world, 179 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:32,170 and your gifts to me don't even come close. 180 00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:33,420 Huh? 181 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:35,120 Baby, I love you. 182 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,880 But your gift game is straight trash. 183 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,710 [ Lid snaps ] 184 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:45,670 [ Chuckling ] Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre. 185 00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,290 We're being honest right now, right? 186 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:49,750 Tell the truth and shame the devil. 187 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,170 Uh-huh. [ Clears throat ] 188 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:53,250 You give terrible gifts. What?! 189 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,750 You give boo-boo gifts! 190 00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,000 Boo-boo gifts, Dre! 191 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,210 You have the receipt for that? 192 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,500 Huh? 193 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,750 I do not give boo-boo gifts, Bow! 194 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,380 You're just lashing out. 195 00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,580 I see your eyes when you open your presents. 196 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:10,830 [ Softly ] You love them. 197 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,040 Oh, I do? 198 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,580 [ Normal voice ] Yes, you do. 199 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,290 Oh! 200 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:19,000 Ohh! 201 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,710 Dre! 202 00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:21,830 [ Laughs ] 203 00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,750 You've been faking it? 204 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:24,830 Yeah! 205 00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,460 I bought you diamonds. 206 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:28,120 It was nice at first, 207 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,830 but how much jewelry does a woman need? 208 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,120 You can never have too many diamonds, Bow. 209 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,500 Let me tell you, Dre. 210 00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:39,790 The best gift that I ever got in my entire life 211 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,670 was when I was a kid. 212 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,420 My dad -- he hand-sewed me a doll that looked like me. 213 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:48,420 There's no way that a store-bought gift 214 00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:51,710 can compare to something with meaning behind it. 215 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:54,620 Why do you think I took that art class last year? 216 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,080 Mnh-mnh. 217 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,620 So I could hand-paint you a tree 218 00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:02,750 that represents our family. 219 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,170 But I wanted a fur. 220 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,040 Yeah, and you bought yourself the fur, Dre. 221 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,460 It's not the same thing, Bow! 222 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:13,920 Okay, look, what you're saying is nice, I get it. 223 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,000 Thank you. 224 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,000 But, babe... 225 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,080 I never thought I would be able to spend real money 226 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,580 on the people I love. 227 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:23,710 Tsk. Mm. 228 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,710 And now that I'm able to, it's what I do. 229 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,500 Okay, you know what, Dre? 230 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,380 Forget I said anything. Get me whatever you want. 231 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,250 No, no, no. Dre -- 232 00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,540 Babe... 233 00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:34,880 I can change. 234 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,750 Because I love you. 235 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,120 So, for Valentine's Day, 236 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,960 I am going to find you a thoughtful gift. 237 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,580 Thank you, my love. 238 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,330 But I also need to be treated in the gift lifestyle 239 00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:47,880 to which I've become accustomed. 240 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,920 Then I will buy you 241 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,250 something so expensive... 242 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:56,170 that our home insurance policy won't cover it. 243 00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,420 [ Gasps ] 244 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,920 So I had to get Bow 245 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,670 a meaningful but cheap-ass gift, 246 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,460 which meant I was the first Black man 247 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,290 to ever walk into a craft store. 248 00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:07,330 Ow! Damn it! 249 00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,120 What is going on, Dad? 250 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,920 Ohh. 251 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,000 Court-mandated art therapy to manage your anger? 252 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,210 Shut up, Junior! 253 00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,920 I'm just trying to be thoughtful. 254 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,620 I just made your mother this nightmare. 255 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,170 Oh, my God! 256 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:22,710 What is that?! 257 00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:23,880 It's supposed to be her. 258 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,620 Yeah, you cannot give that to Mom. 259 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,000 I know! 260 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,580 Look, I need your help, all right? 261 00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,460 Look, I just found out that your mother 262 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:33,420 is the only person alive that does not like diamonds. 263 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:35,710 Help me, uh, come up 264 00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:37,710 with a thoughtful Valentine's Day gift for her. 265 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,330 [ Laughing ] Oh! 266 00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:42,420 Well, I have a whole Pinterest board full of ideas. 267 00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:43,710 I've got to be honest, though, 268 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:46,580 they are all son-to-mother vibes, not romantic. 269 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,710 She shut that down years ago. 270 00:09:48,710 --> 00:09:50,380 This is stupid. 271 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:53,380 Why can't we just go back to the way things were, hmm? 272 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:55,750 We were lying to each other, but at least we were happy. 273 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,500 Oh, come on, Dad! 274 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,580 You've got to keep trying. 275 00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,170 Maybe just do what I do. 276 00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:02,500 Every time the sun pokes out from behind a cloud, 277 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,500 give a little thought to Mom. 278 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:09,380 [ Sternly ] Look, man, just give me an idea. 279 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:10,620 Ugh. 280 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,880 Mom could have done so much better. 281 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,210 Get out of here! 282 00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:16,380 Get out! 283 00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:18,670 Son, wait a minute, please don't leave me! 284 00:10:18,670 --> 00:10:20,420 I'll pay you! 285 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,830 You want some diamonds?! 286 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:25,120 [ Voice breaking ] I got lots of diamonds. 287 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,790 Jack: Oh, that's too bad, Savannah. 288 00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:29,000 I'm sorry things didn't work out with your boyfriend. 289 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,830 How about we talk about it over froyo tonight? 290 00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:35,210 See you then. 291 00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:36,290 Great news, Grandma. 292 00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:37,750 I played the game and I won. 293 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,330 Oh, yeah? 294 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,000 I went out with Savannah's best friend, Jessie. 295 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,330 You're so funny. 296 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,750 And then my mom -- she turned the corner and... 297 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,040 And Savannah got jealous. 298 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,830 So now she wants the froyo, yo. 299 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:49,790 That's great, baby. 300 00:10:49,790 --> 00:10:51,880 Don't forget your Lactaid. 301 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,620 I mean, I'm happy for you, Jack, 302 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,920 but do you really think you can land this plane? 303 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,120 I mean, what are you gonna do about Jessie? 304 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,000 He's got to drop her like a peanut shell 305 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,540 at a barbecue place. 306 00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,000 Oh, no. 307 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,750 I have to break up with her, don't I? 308 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,540 Unless... 309 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,880 you're not ready to play the game. 310 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:09,830 No. No, no, no, no. 311 00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,420 I-I can do it. 312 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:12,670 I'll just break up with her tomorrow. 313 00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:14,120 I'm proud of you, baby. 314 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,710 You know, your father could never play the game. 315 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,790 That's how he ended up dating 316 00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:21,880 a string of useless chickenheads. 317 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,710 Until he met Mom, you mean. 318 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,120 Sure, baby. 319 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,750 Junior had been useless. 320 00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,790 I spent days trying to be thoughtful, 321 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:33,170 and all I had to show for it were hot glue burns. 322 00:11:34,670 --> 00:11:36,250 I've been having trouble coming up 323 00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:37,580 with a Valentine's gift for you. 324 00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,210 I've got nothing, baby. Please don't leave me. 325 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:42,040 Dre, I am not having any luck, either. 326 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,380 Would you wear a Gucci wetsuit? 327 00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,040 When have I wanted to go into the ocean, Bow? 328 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,380 See? This is really hard. 329 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:52,920 You know, maybe we're putting too much pressure 330 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,250 on this Valentine's Day presents thing. 331 00:11:55,250 --> 00:12:02,080 You know, why don't we do no Valentine's presents? 332 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,120 Oh. 333 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,000 That's not a bad idea. 334 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,790 I mean, we're driving ourselves crazy. 335 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:09,710 And gifts are not important. 336 00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:11,170 Exactly! Exactly! 337 00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,290 You know what? 338 00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:15,120 How about we just have a nice meal together? 339 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,670 You know... Oh! 340 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,500 ...a low-key Valentine's experience 341 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,250 with no gifts, no surprises. 342 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,330 No extra pressure on it. 343 00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:24,580 And then we can take the money 344 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,380 that we would save from buying presents 345 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,580 and pop bottles at the restaurant. 346 00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,000 Or... 347 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,540 Or... 348 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:36,460 ...we could make it rain on our IRAs 349 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:39,210 that we haven't contributed to since 2014! 350 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:43,290 Just like pah, pah, pah-pah, pah, pah, pah-pah-pah-pah. 351 00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:45,170 It's so adorable that you think 352 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:47,960 there's still money in that account. 353 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,170 [ Smooches ] 354 00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:50,120 Huh?! 355 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,330 Coming, children! 356 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,460 No, no, wait. 357 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:54,620 Where's the money, though, Dre? 358 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,790 Remember -- 359 00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,620 When you're working for a company like Fielder, 360 00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:00,330 you have to be aggressively bland. 361 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,540 Yeah, but what does that mean for the campaign? 362 00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,670 Start by thinking of the most vanilla statement you can 363 00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:05,620 about the brand and go from there. 364 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,170 Okay, uh... 365 00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:10,420 Fielders are... 366 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,170 good? 367 00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,080 No! 368 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,960 "Good" is a value judgment. 369 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,420 Not bland enough. You almost had it. 370 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,830 Take a step back. Deep breath, go. 371 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:18,920 Uh... [ Exhales sharply ] 372 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,380 Um... 373 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,000 Fielders are... 374 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:22,960 Go on. 375 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,420 ...durable? No! 376 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,670 Comfortable? Even blander! 377 00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,040 Ah... 378 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,000 Pants? 379 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,040 Bingo. 380 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,000 Fielders are pants. 381 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,290 Good start. 382 00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,170 It is? 383 00:13:34,170 --> 00:13:38,040 So I went out and had my first gift-free Valentine's, 384 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,500 doing what mattered most -- 385 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,880 sharing an overpriced prix fixe 386 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,080 with the woman I love. 387 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,080 Mmm. 388 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,330 That's nice. 389 00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:46,460 Yes, it is. 390 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,830 Oh, my God. What? 391 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:49,880 Look at him. 392 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,920 Look at him patting his pockets. 393 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,290 Every single person in this restaurant 394 00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,170 knows there's something in there. 395 00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,080 [ Scoffs ] 396 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,710 Valentine's Day chumps. 397 00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:01,120 Amateurs. 398 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,500 Okay, babe, you know what? Hmm? 399 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:03,620 I'll be right back. Mm. 400 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:06,960 But this -- this is good, right? 401 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,250 Yes! 402 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:09,920 No pressure Valentine's Day is great, 403 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:14,920 and maybe we shouldn't do Christmas gifts this year. 404 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,920 Your face in this candlelight is all the gift I need. 405 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,460 I'll be right back, baby. 406 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,620 Hurry back. Mm-hmm. 407 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:26,540 ♪♪ 408 00:14:26,540 --> 00:14:28,170 For the lady. Oh, oh, no. 409 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:29,540 I'm sorry, we didn't order that. 410 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:30,540 We didn't order that. 411 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,380 Oh, let's just say somebody 412 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:34,460 wanted to do something special for you. 413 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,670 Oh! 414 00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,120 Thank you. Yeah. 415 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,750 Thank you. 416 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:39,880 [ Gasps ] 417 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,250 [ Exhales deeply ] 418 00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:43,250 Oh, my God, okay. 419 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,080 The cake. 420 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,420 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 421 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,380 [ Laughs ] 422 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:50,380 Posted. 423 00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:51,540 [ Clears throat ] 424 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:52,670 Mm. 425 00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,330 I knew. 426 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:59,420 I knew you had some tricks up those sleeves. 427 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,500 What are you talking about? 428 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,960 The cake. Oh. 429 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,380 Listen, I should be mad 430 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:09,120 because we decided no gifts or surprises, 431 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,290 but I have to say that I am so glad you got me something. 432 00:15:12,290 --> 00:15:15,080 I didn't send you that cake, babe. 433 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,500 Really? Oh. 434 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,210 We agreed there would be no gifts and no surprises. 435 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,750 I didn't send you that. 436 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,000 Oh. 437 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,080 Sorry, this is for another table. 438 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,250 Oh, but -- [ Stammering ] 439 00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:27,580 Okay, alright. 440 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:29,620 You said -- 441 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:30,670 [ Sighs ] 442 00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:32,500 ♪♪ 443 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,880 I guess I -- 444 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,540 I guess I did want something. 445 00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:36,920 [ Chuckles ] 446 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,170 It just feels like with no gifts, 447 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,460 part of Valentine's Day is missing. 448 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,040 Yeah. 449 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,170 The men's room attendant comped me a mint, 450 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,580 and I almost cried. 451 00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,540 Who were we kidding? 452 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:49,830 Valentine's Day without gifts isn't Valentine's Day. 453 00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:51,670 It's just a day. 454 00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:54,210 It was my mother's. Oh, my God! 455 00:15:54,210 --> 00:15:56,080 It's beautiful. 456 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,540 It means the world to me. 457 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,120 [ Scoffs ] 458 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,120 Valentime's Day is so stupid. 459 00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:07,750 Mmm! Raspberry compote? 460 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,500 Nice try, Reginald. 461 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,880 [ Sighs ] 462 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,620 Hey, Ruby. Hey. 463 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,670 How y'all doing? 464 00:16:13,670 --> 00:16:15,500 [ Unenthused ] Happy Valentine's Day. 465 00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,040 Why did I think I wanted 466 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,960 a low-key Valentine's Day, huh? 467 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,710 There's nothing about me that says low-key. 468 00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:25,460 Hell, I'm the one that got Funkmaster Flex 469 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:27,290 to record my outgoing voicemail. 470 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,420 How do we not know how to take care of each other 471 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,880 after all of these years? 472 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,170 That's making me wonder. 473 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:35,290 You know, what else are we messing up? 474 00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:38,290 I'm starting to question it all. Oh, yeah. 475 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,500 [ Sarcastically ] This marriage is really falling apart. 476 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,460 What with the way you fix her a drink, 477 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,830 and the way you're trying to rub 478 00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,500 the stress out of his back. 479 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,960 You two are doomed. 480 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,000 Oh. 481 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,080 But doesn't it mean something that we missed the mark? 482 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,380 I mean, gift-giving 483 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:58,750 is one of the most important ways of expressing love. 484 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,290 Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, so are shared experiences. 485 00:17:02,290 --> 00:17:04,420 Mm-hmm. Quiet times together. 486 00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:07,420 Yep. And working your way through the Kama Sutra. 487 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,790 Mama. You two fulfill each other's needs 488 00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:11,170 in so many other ways. 489 00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,580 This is just a little thing 490 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,210 you don't have to worry about, alright? 491 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:15,920 Maybe we are being too hard on ourselves. 492 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,830 Maybe. 493 00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,920 Thank you, Ruby. Mm-hmm. 494 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,290 I'm gonna go check on Devante, and I'm taking this. Okay, baby. Mm-hmm. 495 00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:25,040 You know what? I'm right behind you. 496 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,960 Thank you, Mama. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 497 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,620 Yeah? Where the hell do you think you're going? 498 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:32,000 You can't buy your wife a gift? 499 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,960 I raised you better than that. 500 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,080 But, Mama, you just said that gifts are something -- No, no, no, no! 501 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,500 How is it no man in this family 502 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,830 knows how to play the game? What? 503 00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:43,960 You go think about Rainbow 504 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,290 and get her something she wants. 505 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:47,620 Mama, I tried. 506 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,170 Hell, I made her a ugly-ass doll 507 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,330 just like the one her daddy did. 508 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,250 She doesn't want a doll. 509 00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:55,120 She wants what the doll represents. 510 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,620 That you're thinking about her. 511 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,580 Okay, Mama. 512 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,580 [ Exhales sharply ] 513 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,080 I didn't think you cared this much about Bow's happiness. 514 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,210 I don't. 515 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,540 I just know I didn't raise 516 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:10,500 no raspberry compote boy. [ Chuckles ] 517 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:13,880 Old sorry Reginald think he can get a crack at me 518 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,670 with this cheap candy assortment! 519 00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:17,670 Mm-hmm. 520 00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:19,620 [ Box thuds ] 521 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:23,670 So, I was thinking for Easter, 522 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,210 we should coordinate outfits. 523 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,790 You're a girl's medium, right? 524 00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,330 Oh, and Jackie, 525 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,960 today's our four-day anniversary! Yay! 526 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,790 [ Sighs ] Oh, yeah. 527 00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,380 [ Unenthused ] Happy anniversary, dear. 528 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,710 I'll go get you an Uncrustable. 529 00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:40,120 [ Sighs ] 530 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,790 So you couldn't dump her, could you? 531 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,120 [ Sighs ] Nah. 532 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,920 I never should have listened to Grandma. 533 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,790 Well, most of Grandma's advice stopped being useful 534 00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:51,420 around the Clarence Thomas hearings. 535 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:52,710 So what are you gonna do? 536 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,420 Well, I've already committed to Easter, 537 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,830 so I can't break up with her before then. 538 00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:58,670 Then her birthday's right around the corner, 539 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,290 then the spring dance. 540 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:02,880 I'm-a be honest with you, Diane. 541 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,460 I don't see a way out. 542 00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,750 Welcome to your first loveless marriage. 543 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:09,920 Thought we'd be having this talk at 25 544 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,830 when you got trapped by a French CrossFit star 545 00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,380 who needed a green card. 546 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,540 But it's nice to know it feels just as good as I imagined. 547 00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,540 I had spent too much time 548 00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,040 focusing on the gift instead of the more important thing -- 549 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,040 the person it was for. 550 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,710 And once I did that, I realized 551 00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:29,920 it was pretty easy to find things she liked. 552 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,250 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 553 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,830 ♪♪ 554 00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:35,880 Hey, babe. Hey. 555 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,170 How was your day? 556 00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:40,540 Much better after I got a text from you 557 00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,330 about Larry's Chili Dogs. 558 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,960 Mm-hmm. That was so sweet. 559 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,290 Babe, it's where we first met. I know. 560 00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:48,080 And I could not drive past that place 561 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,000 and not think about you. 562 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,080 [ Chuckles ] Hey... 563 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,420 What? 564 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,710 I got you something. 565 00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,920 What's the occasion? 566 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,880 Just showing you I love you. 567 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,330 Oh. Tsk. 568 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,960 Can I open it? 569 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,540 Please. Okay. 570 00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:06,330 [ Gasps ] 571 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,750 Yes! 572 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,540 [ Chuckles ] Oh, my God, yes! 573 00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:11,880 Oh, this is so thoughtful. Mm. 574 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,170 I'm so glad that you realized 575 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,580 that you don't have to spend a lot of money on me. 576 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,830 It's the small and sweet gestures. 577 00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:18,920 Oh, God, I love you. 578 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,290 Mwah. Thank you, baby. 579 00:20:20,290 --> 00:20:22,210 Hey, do you want red or white with the chili dogs? 580 00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:23,580 Which goes better? Uh, red. 581 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,750 Red? Okay. Yeah. 582 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,380 Like Bow said, 583 00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:28,830 I didn't have to spend a lot of money on a great gift. 584 00:20:28,830 --> 00:20:32,120 But I did -- on this expensive-ass marching band. 585 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,620 So, as a small, sweet gesture, 586 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:36,000 I got them out before she could see. 587 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,670 Baby steps. 588 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,540 Stevens: So, Dre's kid, huh? 589 00:20:42,540 --> 00:20:45,000 Fielders pants. What do you got for me? 590 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,040 [ Whispering ] Psst. You got this. 591 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,210 Fielders. 592 00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,540 They've survived a long time. 593 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:55,880 Not by being flashy or by following seasonal trends, 594 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,830 but by being timeless. 595 00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,580 And by keeping it simple. 596 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:02,750 So their new slogan keeps it simple, too. 597 00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:06,830 "Fielders: They're the pants you wear." 598 00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,250 Yeah, I really hoped you'd come up with something 599 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:11,250 more urban, you know? Like, um... 600 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,290 "Fielders: Ooh, Child." 601 00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:16,960 What about "Fielders: Where the Homies at?" 602 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,380 Yes! Outstanding, Charles. 603 00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:20,290 [ Blows ] We will run with that. 604 00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:23,210 -Mom! -Shh! Daddy's working. 41665

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