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1
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(RYAN HUMS)
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Owner on the bridge.
Everybody, carry on as normal.
3
00:00:10,175 --> 00:00:11,223
Why wouldn't you?
4
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:13,519
What's going on in here? Smells tense.
5
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,437
(DANISH ACCENT) Tense is my middle name.
6
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Tense is my middle name!
7
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(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Oh, bugger. I'm still here.
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00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:25,723
SPIKE MARTIN: Captain, I'm gonna
get a gander on some of this stuff,
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00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:27,057
because I think that...
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00:00:27,092 --> 00:00:28,890
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Oh, no! Sorry, can't...
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00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:31,765
Can't let you see that,
because then I'd have
12
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,221
to sleep with you to find out
what you saw,
13
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- and then kill you. (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) We've all been there!
14
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Oh.
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♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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00:00:43,356 --> 00:00:47,822
Hi. I'm your captain, Ryan Clark.
How are you doing?
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00:00:48,092 --> 00:00:49,431
(ENGLISH ACCENT) No, how are you doing?
18
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,573
No, how are you doing?
19
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:51,782
You tell me. No, you tell me.
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00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:53,658
You tell me, arsehole!
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♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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00:00:58,915 --> 00:01:01,915
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,314
Let's look at what's trending this hour.
24
00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:09,582
Avenue 5 is stuck in space.
25
00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:11,294
I don't think I'm alone in thinking,
26
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,191
"Thank fuck I'm not on that ship!"
27
00:01:13,227 --> 00:01:15,110
The passengers are angry, as I would be
28
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if I had their crappy lives.
Good morning.
29
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MAN: Shove your attitude.
30
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Anyone giving negative comments
should be blacklisted
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from all future voyages.
How would they like that?
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00:01:23,254 --> 00:01:24,754
I imagine they might like that a lot.
33
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Well, this feels real.
34
00:01:32,341 --> 00:01:35,264
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Morning, ma'am!
A new dawn has broken.
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So has our toilet.
We're not animals, you know.
36
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Right. I will... I will talk
to Matt about that.
37
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(ENGLISH ACCENT) Good luck
pissing in the basement
38
00:01:42,549 --> 00:01:43,543
for the next three years.
39
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,130
Good morning, captain.
Oh, you look haunted.
40
00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:47,090
Thanks.
41
00:01:47,126 --> 00:01:48,467
How are you adjusting to all of this?
42
00:01:48,503 --> 00:01:49,890
Well, you know,
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just a little bit curious
as to why you never told me
44
00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:55,015
that the whole crew are a bunch
of fakes who have been
45
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:56,348
shat out of Julliard.
46
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:59,224
Well, I didn't think
you would react well.
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00:01:59,359 --> 00:02:01,657
Here you are,
hissing at me in a hallway.
48
00:02:01,693 --> 00:02:04,034
This is radiation.
49
00:02:04,217 --> 00:02:07,182
And that moon-botherer is real.
You couldn't make that up.
50
00:02:07,217 --> 00:02:12,074
Now, ships are constantly
being bombarded by cosmic rays.
51
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,473
It's deadly! So, how do we fight it off?
52
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,306
Ooh, I know, I know! Poop!
53
00:02:16,341 --> 00:02:17,556
- Uh...
- (CHILDREN LAUGHING)
54
00:02:17,591 --> 00:02:19,098
Smart kid! Zeke is right.
55
00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:22,182
A shield of human waste
protects us from radiation.
56
00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:24,079
(AMERICAN ACCENT) That's why
they call it the poop deck!
57
00:02:24,115 --> 00:02:25,598
- (LAUGHTER)
- No.
58
00:02:25,633 --> 00:02:27,264
It's from the French for "stern."
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(LAUGHS)
60
00:02:28,591 --> 00:02:32,098
I'd close your mouth,
because it's not a joke.
61
00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,828
Every ship has a turd cloak.
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(ENGLISH ACCENT) Has a what?
63
00:02:35,341 --> 00:02:37,306
You don't know about the wetsuit?
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00:02:37,341 --> 00:02:40,514
(LAUGHS) Look at you,
listening in on us!
65
00:02:40,549 --> 00:02:42,348
- (RYAN CHUCKLES)
- Well, no, he knows everything.
66
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:43,346
He's the captain.
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00:02:43,382 --> 00:02:45,316
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
They call me Mr. Wetsuit.
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00:02:45,352 --> 00:02:47,526
That's one of the things
we call him. (LAUGHS)
69
00:02:47,562 --> 00:02:50,527
Oh, look! Who is missing a genius?
70
00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:51,841
- Over here!
- Okay.
71
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,988
Maybe I should learn about this stuff.
72
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- Space and so on.
- (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
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00:02:56,424 --> 00:02:58,431
Uh... I'll, um...
I'll explain it to you.
74
00:02:58,466 --> 00:03:01,223
So, all this technology,
and still, human feces
75
00:03:01,258 --> 00:03:03,514
is the best way to not get
cancer in space,
76
00:03:03,549 --> 00:03:07,473
which reminds me, vent the wetsuit.
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00:03:07,508 --> 00:03:09,473
(ENGLISH ACCENT) You know
what I have written on my hand?
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00:03:09,508 --> 00:03:11,301
- What?
- "Unclench me."
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00:03:11,675 --> 00:03:13,223
WOMAN: Hey, asshole,
I want my life back.
80
00:03:13,258 --> 00:03:14,723
- IRIS KIMURA: Thank you.
- HERMAN JUDD: Oh, man.
81
00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:17,854
I don't wanna go the same way
as Richard Branson!
82
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,806
Fed to his own pigs
on his private island.
83
00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:23,389
It's still early. The passengers
get easier to wrangle
84
00:03:23,424 --> 00:03:24,431
after the first drink.
85
00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:26,683
The financial stuff,
tell me honestly, Iris...
86
00:03:26,719 --> 00:03:28,806
- Yes, I do.
- I didn't even ask the question!
87
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:31,806
"Do you think we're fucked,
financially?" Answer: yes, I do.
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00:03:31,841 --> 00:03:35,734
Oh. I don't like being unhappy,
Iris. I just don't like it.
89
00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:36,985
IRIS: You get used to it.
90
00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:38,778
Do you verbally consent to a hug?
91
00:03:38,814 --> 00:03:39,761
Ugh.
92
00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:43,598
Oh. Here's an idea to get people
to like you.
93
00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:45,806
Drinks. Here. Cocktail party.
94
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All the passengers,
meet them in batches.
95
00:03:47,591 --> 00:03:50,223
Yeah. Maybe someone will hug me there.
96
00:03:50,258 --> 00:03:52,640
All right, so, journey time...
(MUTTERING)
97
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Okay, so you can meet 19 people a week.
98
00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:57,514
Nineteen. Odd number.
Don't people come in couples?
99
00:03:57,549 --> 00:04:00,264
No. Widows, widowers,
priests, ugly people.
100
00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:02,486
- You're not a couple.
- Neither was Zeus.
101
00:04:02,692 --> 00:04:05,692
- And I'm basically Zeus.
- He married his sister.
102
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,891
(SHUDDERS) My sister would make
a selfish bride.
103
00:04:08,927 --> 00:04:11,500
IRIS: Okay, so the batch parties
are a go.
104
00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:14,243
Where we at in terms of the vigil?
105
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,431
Did you fill it, like I asked,
but didn't ask?
106
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,973
I don't know what you're talking about.
107
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,435
Remember I told you that I wanted...
108
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,616
Oh, you're doing
a whole deniability thing.
109
00:04:22,652 --> 00:04:24,700
You only need to do that
in front of other people.
110
00:04:24,736 --> 00:04:25,993
People, not half-people.
111
00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:29,577
There's no air resistance,
so we're just sailing on, right?
112
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:32,453
But what's the, um...
What's the Rafer valve?
113
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:34,306
I've already told you this one.
114
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,932
I thought you were Mr. Wetsuit.
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00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:39,389
Come on, Zeke, please!
I said I would give you pens.
116
00:04:39,424 --> 00:04:43,765
And that is how I saved the entire ship!
117
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,711
SPIKE: This is a bright kid.
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00:04:46,217 --> 00:04:47,932
He's probably hoping
he'll grow up one day
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00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:50,171
- and be like old Spikey, huh?
- Not really.
120
00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,274
That's a little harsh.
121
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:55,973
Oh! Oh. Punk.
122
00:04:56,008 --> 00:04:57,431
Hey, um... Hey, where's your...
123
00:04:57,466 --> 00:04:59,348
Where's your mom and her fellow moms?
124
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,974
- Oh, uh, she's over there.
- Oh. Thank you.
125
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,058
No, she's not. She's over there.
126
00:05:10,117 --> 00:05:13,164
That's... That's pretty smooth.
127
00:05:13,199 --> 00:05:15,248
PROTESTOR: I worry about the victims.
128
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:17,182
But one of the biggest victims
129
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,765
is Mr. Judd and the Judd Corporation.
130
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,348
I blame NASA's refusal to honor code 346
131
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:25,369
of the International Space Treaties.
132
00:05:25,841 --> 00:05:28,003
Is he just saying that
off the top of his head?
133
00:05:28,341 --> 00:05:30,182
Why do you find it so odd?
134
00:05:30,217 --> 00:05:32,140
Who knows what stage of grief he's at.
135
00:05:32,175 --> 00:05:33,640
There's no stage of grief known as
136
00:05:33,675 --> 00:05:34,973
"fluency in international space law"!
137
00:05:35,008 --> 00:05:38,389
The question of liability
is up for debate.
138
00:05:38,424 --> 00:05:42,182
What is your problem? He looks
the part. It's perfect casting.
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00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,765
Casting? What the... Oh.
140
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,015
They're actors.
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00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:46,098
The... He's an actor!
142
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:48,556
Well, if it took you this long to
work it out, what is the problem?
143
00:05:48,592 --> 00:05:50,276
- ALAN: That's a good point.
- RAV MULCAIR: Shut up, Alan.
144
00:05:50,312 --> 00:05:52,057
It'll look terrible if it gets out
145
00:05:52,092 --> 00:05:54,299
that we're paying actors
to get public support!
146
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,436
Send them home!
147
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:59,514
Won't that look terrible?
If the vigil suddenly disperses?
148
00:05:59,549 --> 00:06:01,299
- Yeah, good point.
- RAV: Shut up, both of you.
149
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:03,223
Actually, that is a good point.
150
00:06:03,258 --> 00:06:04,641
- Uh, I'm not...
- Shut up, Alan.
151
00:06:05,508 --> 00:06:08,890
(SIGHS) Okay. Mads,
let's see what you've learnt.
152
00:06:08,925 --> 00:06:10,723
What is your engineering
clearance level?
153
00:06:10,758 --> 00:06:11,765
High.
154
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,965
No, it's a number between one and 100.
155
00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:15,175
Uh... 100?
156
00:06:15,211 --> 00:06:17,598
Guys, come on, this is not
community theater!
157
00:06:17,633 --> 00:06:20,487
You've gotta know this stuff
like you know your own names.
158
00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:23,638
Do you mean our names,
or our character names?
159
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:26,553
(ENGLISH ACCENT) What? Oh, don't
tell me Mads isn't your real name.
160
00:06:26,589 --> 00:06:28,171
No, no. No. I'm Colin.
161
00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:29,631
Oh, for f...
162
00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:33,140
No offense, but that is a
placeholder name if ever I heard one.
163
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,182
(CLEARS THROAT)
164
00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:35,556
BILLIE MCEVOY: Yes, what's your name?
165
00:06:35,591 --> 00:06:36,556
Uh, Sarah.
166
00:06:36,591 --> 00:06:37,973
- Sarah.
- Is that your real name?
167
00:06:38,008 --> 00:06:41,556
Oh, it's also Sarah. That's why
I got the part, I think.
168
00:06:41,591 --> 00:06:43,674
- Right. So, who are you right now?
- Now?
169
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,186
- Yeah.
- Sarah.
170
00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:47,396
No, uh, but are you actual Sarah,
171
00:06:47,432 --> 00:06:49,225
or are you in character?
172
00:06:49,549 --> 00:06:51,341
- Yes.
- Which?
173
00:06:52,092 --> 00:06:53,598
What was the question, sorry?
174
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:55,466
Oh, Judith of Norwich.
175
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:59,140
This is why they should slash
art funding to the bones.
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00:06:59,175 --> 00:07:01,806
(CLEARS THROAT) Sorry,
quick motivation question.
177
00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:04,348
- Yes, Sarah.
- How is Sarah responding,
178
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:07,182
now that she knows
that the captain's fake?
179
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:10,182
No, he's not! I am not fake!
180
00:07:10,217 --> 00:07:12,389
I am... I am solid, I am dependable,
181
00:07:12,424 --> 00:07:14,514
I am un-fucking-flappable!
182
00:07:14,549 --> 00:07:15,681
- Right.
- RYAN: I know that...
183
00:07:15,716 --> 00:07:17,140
I'm not coming out that way right now,
184
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:20,182
but that's what you...
what you all have to remember.
185
00:07:20,217 --> 00:07:21,306
After all, if I was fake,
186
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,431
I would not know what a Roofie valve is.
187
00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:24,598
Uh, a Rafer valve.
188
00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:26,806
Right. Well, I got the word
"valve" right.
189
00:07:26,841 --> 00:07:27,848
Yes, you did.
190
00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:29,640
Can we just stick
to the script? All right?
191
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,306
Or is that not something they taught you
192
00:07:31,341 --> 00:07:33,015
at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Sarahs?
193
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,348
Okay, so, my character
doesn't know that you're fake.
194
00:07:36,383 --> 00:07:39,015
Okay, I've got that. That is
actually quite a good note.
195
00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:40,848
You're gonna make a note of the note?
196
00:07:40,883 --> 00:07:43,348
- Yeah. "Doesn't know..."
- (RYAN SIGHS)
197
00:07:43,383 --> 00:07:46,431
This is just hopeless. I don't
even believe they're actors.
198
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:50,050
You've got to take me
to the real crew, real fast.
199
00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:52,848
(DANISH ACCENT) Okay, fly safe, cap.
200
00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:54,549
Oh, fuck off, Colin!
201
00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:58,848
- I had drinks with Rav.
- Who is my best friend.
202
00:07:58,883 --> 00:08:00,514
'Cause I needed someone to talk to
203
00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:02,057
after my wife made a cuck-hold of me.
204
00:08:02,092 --> 00:08:05,098
Okay, "cuck-hold"?
There is no "h" in "cuckold."
205
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,514
You idiot. Right?
206
00:08:06,549 --> 00:08:08,840
Now you're getting another man
to spell "cuckold" for me.
207
00:08:09,175 --> 00:08:10,473
- Mm-hmm.
- DOUG: We had drinks.
208
00:08:10,508 --> 00:08:13,015
We were talking and I got emotional.
209
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:14,723
And I accidentally kissed her neck.
210
00:08:14,758 --> 00:08:16,408
How do you accidentally
kiss somebody's neck?
211
00:08:16,444 --> 00:08:17,640
But I didn't have full sex.
212
00:08:17,675 --> 00:08:19,473
Oh, well, when have you
ever done that, Doug?
213
00:08:19,508 --> 00:08:21,973
- Can I just get my own cabin?
- Yes! Please!
214
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:24,640
If I have to watch him
carefully dry his balls
215
00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:26,389
one more time, I'm gonna kill myself.
216
00:08:26,424 --> 00:08:28,556
I have a male yeast infection.
It's a real i...
217
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,250
- (SIGHS)
- Would you rather I carelessly dry my balls?
218
00:08:31,675 --> 00:08:33,967
Okay, this is all very informative.
219
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,849
Are you taking notes?
220
00:08:37,062 --> 00:08:38,716
- What?
- How long has that been up there?
221
00:08:39,258 --> 00:08:42,514
Now, the word cloud is in your room
222
00:08:42,549 --> 00:08:43,640
on all the screens.
223
00:08:43,675 --> 00:08:45,932
- What? Can we get rid of it?
- No.
224
00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:48,473
You can add words to it,
but you can't remove any.
225
00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:51,477
When you get back there,
you're gonna see words like
226
00:08:51,513 --> 00:08:54,311
- "Neck." "Male bitch."
- Mm-hmm.
227
00:08:54,347 --> 00:08:56,108
"The beast of yeast."
228
00:08:56,424 --> 00:08:59,306
You're gonna see words like
"Emotional ragdoll."
229
00:08:59,341 --> 00:09:03,848
"Chunky millstone." "Fucker."
"Worm-dicked little fucker."
230
00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:05,732
Who put that word on there?
We didn't say that word.
231
00:09:05,768 --> 00:09:07,223
- I'd said it.
- When?
232
00:09:07,258 --> 00:09:08,528
Before you got here.
233
00:09:09,092 --> 00:09:11,098
"Stank-ass balls."
234
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,098
Yeah, I said you can shove
your stank-ass balls
235
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:14,598
in your mouth and choke on them and die.
236
00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:16,431
How much work did you
guys do before I got here?
237
00:09:16,466 --> 00:09:18,258
She got here 45 minutes early.
238
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:22,306
I think we did really good work today.
239
00:09:22,341 --> 00:09:23,765
- Yeah.
- MATT SPENCER: So, you're at peace?
240
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,057
I'm gonna go fix
some other passengers now.
241
00:09:26,092 --> 00:09:27,890
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
242
00:09:27,925 --> 00:09:29,431
ENGINEER 1: Bleed wetsuit
in five minutes.
243
00:09:29,466 --> 00:09:31,473
ENGINEER 2: And venting
ion drive in two.
244
00:09:31,508 --> 00:09:35,175
BILLIE: Heads up, guys!
Faux Capitano in the house!
245
00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:40,841
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Morning.
246
00:09:42,758 --> 00:09:46,091
Sorry it took me so long
to realize that you existed.
247
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,426
No problem.
248
00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:51,223
So, popcorn and dirty jokes. Who's in?
249
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,556
- (LAUGHTER)
- So, she said,
250
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,514
"Wait a minute, well, then,
who was that on the ladder?"
251
00:09:54,549 --> 00:09:58,466
- (LAUGHTER)
- (BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
252
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:03,348
I want that as a ringtone.
I definitely do!
253
00:10:03,383 --> 00:10:07,140
Wow. Seriously, though,
on a scale of one
254
00:10:07,175 --> 00:10:10,681
to "we're all going to die,"
how fucked did you think
255
00:10:10,716 --> 00:10:13,057
we were when we found out
that I'm just a beard
256
00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:15,098
in a Sergeant Pepper uniform?
257
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:17,473
Uh, actually, we've been taking
bets on how long you'd last.
258
00:10:17,508 --> 00:10:19,348
Uh, yeah. You owe me 50 bucks.
259
00:10:19,383 --> 00:10:20,723
(LAUGHTER)
260
00:10:20,758 --> 00:10:23,264
I'm... I'm laughing
because I'm terrified!
261
00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:24,723
(LAUGHTER)
262
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:28,098
Do you love to drink? I know my dad did.
263
00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:31,054
Why don't you come down
and enjoy a nice, cold glass...
264
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:33,764
Hey, Clara. That's a beautiful top.
265
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,223
Catastrophe-chic!
266
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,349
- Hey, Spike.
- Hey, pal.
267
00:10:37,385 --> 00:10:39,892
Have you ever masturbated
to a constellation?
268
00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:43,434
Yes. Once. Gemini. Twins!
269
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,727
Hey! What are you guys talking about?
270
00:10:46,008 --> 00:10:48,640
- Star clusters.
- What about you, Frank?
271
00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:50,765
Three years, time to find the new you?
272
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,140
Yeah, that's funny,
my dad had a funny expression.
273
00:10:53,175 --> 00:10:57,356
He used to say, "Frank,
moderation in all things,
274
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:58,832
including moderation."
275
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,500
Um, that's moderately funny.
276
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:05,084
Okay, Frank, what's the craziest
thing you've ever done?
277
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,889
Taking out a bridge loan.
278
00:11:06,928 --> 00:11:09,177
What's the craziest thing
you've ever wanted to do?
279
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,556
I've always wanted to wear a necklace.
280
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,576
Not a jewelry kind, but a leather one.
281
00:11:15,612 --> 00:11:17,744
- Uh-huh.
- Maybe with a shell.
282
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,040
All right.
283
00:11:19,549 --> 00:11:20,848
Why stop with a shell?
284
00:11:20,883 --> 00:11:23,765
Maybe you could wear,
I don't know, a dolphin dick.
285
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,015
Yeah, oh, yeah, a dolphin dick.
Hard to come by, though.
286
00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:29,556
- Or you could grow a ponytail.
- (SIGHS)
287
00:11:29,591 --> 00:11:31,598
- Like Spike.
- No, he couldn't. Few can.
288
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:34,567
I have peculiarly muscular follicles.
289
00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:37,348
You can be any Frank you want.
290
00:11:37,383 --> 00:11:39,168
- SPIKE: Go for it, Frank.
- Right?
291
00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:40,199
Great.
292
00:11:40,523 --> 00:11:42,972
- You could be punk rock Frank.
- (LAUGHS)
293
00:11:43,008 --> 00:11:44,200
Huh?
294
00:11:44,731 --> 00:11:46,890
You could be Christian Scientist Frank.
295
00:11:46,925 --> 00:11:49,314
- Occasionally gay Frank.
- Maybe.
296
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:52,556
- Slightly racist Frank!
- Frank the fiend.
297
00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:55,300
You could be whatever
the fuck you want. Okay?
298
00:11:55,336 --> 00:11:56,968
- Yes.
- You want another Judd martini?
299
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:57,928
What was that?
300
00:11:57,964 --> 00:11:59,797
Do you want another Judd martini?
301
00:12:02,008 --> 00:12:04,015
- Yes. Yes, yes.
- Yes, you do! Yes.
302
00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:06,098
- Hell... Hell yes!
- Yes, you do!
303
00:12:06,133 --> 00:12:08,556
Olivia, can we get
another martini for the man?
304
00:12:08,591 --> 00:12:10,967
- No olive this time, please.
- Make it dirty.
305
00:12:13,092 --> 00:12:16,015
N... Strictly 19 people, Mrs. Hines.
306
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,473
I have you down as widowed.
307
00:12:17,508 --> 00:12:19,848
Yes, but James is
my new friend, and I thought...
308
00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:21,765
Wow, I guess grief
wants what it wants, right?
309
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,890
All right, uh, couples,
stand together, please,
310
00:12:23,925 --> 00:12:26,508
and I will approach you
as a double unit, okay?
311
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:30,106
Iris... Iris!
312
00:12:30,574 --> 00:12:32,331
Can you please take care of the widow?
313
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:33,891
She's very clingy.
314
00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,723
Hi. Herman Judd, mogul. You know
that already, though, don't you?
315
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,640
- (LAUGHS)
- You guys look great together.
316
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,806
You make a very successful merger.
317
00:12:41,841 --> 00:12:45,223
That's CEO talk. That's CEO talk. Hug?
318
00:12:45,258 --> 00:12:46,508
- Oh.
- (CHUCKLES)
319
00:12:46,989 --> 00:12:49,996
(WHISPERING) One, two, three.
320
00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:52,431
I got it. I did the math in my head.
321
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:55,223
Three-second rule, am I right?
Didn't that feel nice?
322
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:58,140
And nobody crossed any lines.
Look at all these smiles!
323
00:12:58,175 --> 00:13:00,473
I... I... There's a laundry cart
blockade on...
324
00:13:00,508 --> 00:13:01,806
What's that? Good, good.
325
00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:04,264
Why don't you guys make your way
over by the skulls over there,
326
00:13:04,299 --> 00:13:05,783
all four Beatles.
327
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,366
Hi. Herman Judd, entreprenaut.
328
00:13:08,402 --> 00:13:09,826
So, do we have to keep paying
329
00:13:09,862 --> 00:13:11,494
now that we're stranded out here, or...
330
00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:13,953
You know what, why don't I give you guys
331
00:13:13,989 --> 00:13:15,537
a private tour of my own quarters?
332
00:13:15,573 --> 00:13:17,039
We're gonna shake things up.
333
00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:19,723
What we have to do
is we have to transform
334
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:23,348
those faulty sex bots upstairs
from risible into plausible.
335
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:25,431
They have to be absolutely convincing,
336
00:13:25,466 --> 00:13:28,015
especially Sarah-slash-Sarah,
337
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:30,848
who is driving me slash-wrists insane.
338
00:13:30,883 --> 00:13:33,050
- (LAUGHTER)
- (BILLIE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
339
00:13:34,549 --> 00:13:35,848
- CYRUS: I have an idea.
- That's funny.
340
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:39,182
What if we connect a real comms link
341
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:40,806
to their prop headsets?
342
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:44,389
That is brilliant! You see,
that is exactly the sort of idea
343
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,765
I should've had
if I weren't a complete fraud.
344
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,264
(LAUGHTER)
345
00:13:48,299 --> 00:13:50,723
We could tell them exactly what to say.
346
00:13:50,758 --> 00:13:52,890
So, you wouldn't have Nadia
sitting there like,
347
00:13:52,925 --> 00:13:55,723
(FRENCH ACCENT) "I'm Nadia,
and I'm nominal."
348
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:58,556
(GIGGLES) "And the systems
are nominal." (GIGGLES)
349
00:13:58,591 --> 00:14:00,973
(DANISH ACCENT) Oh, hey,
my name is Mads, and I am from
350
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,723
- Spain or somewhere.
- (LAUGHTER)
351
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,890
(ENGLISH ACCENT)
Uh, hi, my name is Ryan,
352
00:14:05,925 --> 00:14:07,932
and I'm a captain and an alcoholic.
353
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:09,598
(LAUGHTER AND GASPING)
354
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:11,746
Uh, that's... that's...
that's actually not true.
355
00:14:11,782 --> 00:14:12,949
I'm not a captain.
356
00:14:15,644 --> 00:14:17,598
One of my prized possessions.
357
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:20,389
First edition of Billy McFarland's book.
358
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,723
This was way before he became
head of the FBI.
359
00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:27,561
Here are the skulls of all four Beatles.
360
00:14:27,841 --> 00:14:29,848
All signed. Not by them, obviously.
361
00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:31,556
That would be impossible. I signed them.
362
00:14:31,591 --> 00:14:35,625
This is how it all began.
This is when I had my big idea.
363
00:14:36,466 --> 00:14:38,967
This is... not the original.
I threw that one out.
364
00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:42,569
So, I'd better go and have
another drink now.
365
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:45,723
One of Judd's "my parents
never loved me" parties.
366
00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:46,848
(LAUGHTER)
367
00:14:46,883 --> 00:14:49,015
- Fly safe!
- Fly drunk!
368
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:52,146
(CHUCKLING) How do you do it?
I thought they'd hate you.
369
00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:54,431
If it's any consolation, I hate me.
370
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:55,957
So, what does your husband do?
371
00:14:56,883 --> 00:14:59,890
He's dead. He died in a fire
three months ago.
372
00:14:59,925 --> 00:15:03,199
Oh, right, right. The widow.
Uh, we... we've mingled already.
373
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:06,008
No weather in space. Right?
374
00:15:08,223 --> 00:15:10,563
Makes it hard to talk about the weather,
375
00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:12,140
which I'm kind of illustrating.
376
00:15:12,175 --> 00:15:14,936
I'm sorry, I don't understand
the nature of what you are.
377
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:19,182
Yeah, my nature is currently
evolving. Look at this. Look.
378
00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:21,098
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Anybody order a captain?
379
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,473
- Judd champagne?
- Thank you.
380
00:15:22,508 --> 00:15:25,389
Have you seen Mr. Judd's
skulls of the four Beatles?
381
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,140
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Four Beatles?
John Lennon was cremated, wasn't he?
382
00:15:28,175 --> 00:15:29,335
All right, keep that to yourself.
383
00:15:29,371 --> 00:15:31,788
I think one of the skulls
is actually Micky Dolenz.
384
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,431
Oh, that is just pure arse juice.
385
00:15:36,466 --> 00:15:39,057
I don't believe we've had
the pleasure. Herman Judd.
386
00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,473
Oh! Karen Kelly.
387
00:15:40,508 --> 00:15:43,681
Ah! Great. Your, uh, nails
are very long and very sharp.
388
00:15:43,716 --> 00:15:46,973
Thank you! I've been practicing
my handshake since grade school.
389
00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:48,556
- Did she break the skin?
- No.
390
00:15:48,591 --> 00:15:52,140
Okay, good. I like you.
You know how to handle people.
391
00:15:52,175 --> 00:15:54,556
Basically a cattle prod in a dress.
392
00:15:54,591 --> 00:15:56,716
- Enjoying your wine, captain?
- JUDD: Mm!
393
00:15:56,752 --> 00:16:00,551
Now, Karen, putting your
passenger hat on for a second,
394
00:16:00,587 --> 00:16:03,177
what more can Iris be doing?
395
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:07,443
Well, there's quite a divide
between staff and passengers.
396
00:16:07,479 --> 00:16:08,318
Mm.
397
00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:10,848
Is that really Gone Girl
on an original Kindle?
398
00:16:10,883 --> 00:16:12,057
Sorry, not now. We're talking.
399
00:16:12,092 --> 00:16:14,869
This is a restricted
conversational area. Thank you.
400
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:20,348
So, I would suggest,
I don't know, maybe a photo?
401
00:16:20,383 --> 00:16:23,306
Everyone together, you know,
laughing, hitting it off.
402
00:16:23,341 --> 00:16:25,848
- Maybe on the bridge!
- (IRIS LAUGHS)
403
00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:27,932
- That's a shitty idea.
- I love this idea.
404
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:31,598
- As in, that idea is the shit!
- So, we're all agreed
405
00:16:31,633 --> 00:16:34,466
that... that Karen's idea
is very much the shit.
406
00:16:34,865 --> 00:16:36,288
Claw lady's on to something.
407
00:16:36,675 --> 00:16:40,389
We show the people of Earth
a moment of unity.
408
00:16:40,424 --> 00:16:42,556
We have another slingshot
moment coming up
409
00:16:42,591 --> 00:16:44,765
in less than an hour, around Enceladus.
410
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,389
This is perfect. We get a bunch
of passengers on the bridge,
411
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,681
get some Mr. Average
412
00:16:49,716 --> 00:16:51,890
to push that fake button
we have for the kids.
413
00:16:51,925 --> 00:16:54,389
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Why would
you put that idea into his head?
414
00:16:54,424 --> 00:16:56,431
If you could have put anything in there,
415
00:16:56,466 --> 00:16:57,723
why not general anesthetic?
416
00:16:57,758 --> 00:17:00,566
What is your problem, you big whinebag?
417
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,098
Well, things on the bridge...
418
00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:04,057
Ah, it's a little fluid right now.
419
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:06,514
Yeah, tell me about it.
You're at 85 percent fluid.
420
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:09,932
Look, you're always saying
the crew are so professional.
421
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:11,727
Yeah, I say a lot of things
that are shit.
422
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,102
- Don't you notice that?
- Yeah.
423
00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:16,145
Enceladus is... it's...
I don't like it, as a moon.
424
00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:18,730
All right, you middle-aged
fuck buddies, here's the deal.
425
00:17:18,766 --> 00:17:21,264
Iris just sent word for it
to be announced ship-wide.
426
00:17:21,299 --> 00:17:22,640
(SIGHS) Arse!
427
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,973
Now, where are we at
with the button-pusher?
428
00:17:25,008 --> 00:17:26,098
Mr. Average.
429
00:17:26,133 --> 00:17:27,723
Hey, sweetie. I have your purse.
430
00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:29,348
Oh, hi, honey. Thank you.
431
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:33,681
Captain, Mr. Judd. Guys.
Can I join the party? (LAUGHS)
432
00:17:33,716 --> 00:17:35,175
- (KAREN CHUCKLES)
- JUDD: He'll do.
433
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,848
I feel like I'm the prom queen
or something.
434
00:17:39,883 --> 00:17:42,806
Drunk on cheap wine,
I'm ready to lose my virginity.
435
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:43,806
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
436
00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:45,681
And I would deflower you in a second!
437
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,057
I am so proud of you, Frank!
438
00:17:47,092 --> 00:17:49,306
JUDD: Okay, so you'll
hit the button, "Yay,"
439
00:17:49,341 --> 00:17:51,556
cheering, cheering, cheering,
moon-sling,
440
00:17:51,591 --> 00:17:52,973
and then everybody drinks a beer
441
00:17:53,008 --> 00:17:55,057
except for Iris. Iris is on duty.
442
00:17:55,092 --> 00:17:57,299
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
443
00:18:01,716 --> 00:18:04,348
You know, it was kinda nice, earlier,
444
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:07,514
to talk, you know, like people,
not barking like dogs.
445
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:09,098
- Assholes. (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
446
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,556
- Excuse me.
- WAITER: Hi.
447
00:18:10,591 --> 00:18:12,306
Yes, I'd love a tiramisu.
448
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,723
Oh, you know what,
tiramisu me up too, buddy!
449
00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:17,404
Ah, I'm afraid there's only one left.
450
00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:22,723
So, for the next however long,
we're out of tiramisu?
451
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:25,614
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, this is big.
452
00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:28,448
- I'd better get it, then.
- You'd better get it.
453
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,848
To share, Doug! For us!
454
00:18:30,883 --> 00:18:34,473
Mm. Quote, you were here,
"I better get it then."
455
00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:35,556
Not "us."
456
00:18:35,591 --> 00:18:37,681
Well, "Us better get it"
isn't a sentence, Doug!
457
00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:41,092
God. Take that tiramisu
and shove it right up your ass.
458
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,848
You know what? Tira-me-su!
(LAUGHS) Please.
459
00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:49,758
But not up my asshole. You can just
put it right here on the table.
460
00:18:52,175 --> 00:18:54,848
(PIPE VIBRATES, THUDS)
461
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,626
JUDD: Hey there. So, um...
462
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,514
Have you, uh, been
to the Judd jungle gym?
463
00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:02,140
And how did you hear about it?
Targeted ad? Word of mouth?
464
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,057
Your nanny?
465
00:19:03,092 --> 00:19:04,640
- MATT: How you doing, buddy?
- I'm okay.
466
00:19:04,675 --> 00:19:06,182
- How old are you?
- 12.
467
00:19:06,217 --> 00:19:08,182
Oh, that's an awful age.
468
00:19:08,217 --> 00:19:10,348
When I was 12, I wanted to be a rapper.
469
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:13,015
I tried to buy a gun,
the whole deal. I was a mess.
470
00:19:13,050 --> 00:19:13,932
No.
471
00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,223
You should never speak to human beings.
472
00:19:16,258 --> 00:19:19,223
Well, I'm the head
of passenger services!
473
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:22,026
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Good evening,
everybody. Excited?
474
00:19:24,508 --> 00:19:26,223
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Hey, is...
475
00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:29,848
So, Cyrus is ready to prompt
Nadia with the commands, right?
476
00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:31,779
No, she's gonna do it herself.
477
00:19:32,508 --> 00:19:34,883
But she can't do it herself.
She hasn't memorized them.
478
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,640
Oh. You're in character.
479
00:19:37,675 --> 00:19:40,973
I do not know what you mean
by "in character."
480
00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:44,383
- Okay, you're in character.
- I'm being Sarah.
481
00:19:46,291 --> 00:19:48,298
Did you just... Did you just wink at...
482
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:49,633
This button doesn't work, right?
483
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:51,176
(DANISH ACCENT) No, no,
it's not even connected, no.
484
00:19:51,212 --> 00:19:52,552
- Can I? Do you mind?
- Of course.
485
00:19:52,588 --> 00:19:53,845
- (BEEPING)
- Look at that!
486
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:54,929
It's cool, right?
487
00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:57,513
That's so neat! Iris! Iris!
488
00:19:57,549 --> 00:19:59,932
Hey, I want one of these buttons
for my room.
489
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:02,057
RYAN: (AMERICAN ACCENT)
Right, bridge crew, ready!
490
00:20:02,092 --> 00:20:03,640
The performing seals are ready.
491
00:20:03,675 --> 00:20:06,733
Whoa, disrespectful.
Seals are pretty smart.
492
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:09,264
The performing seals are ready.
493
00:20:09,299 --> 00:20:11,681
Only speak when I say your names!
494
00:20:11,716 --> 00:20:13,890
Nadia, slingshot is primed.
495
00:20:13,925 --> 00:20:16,932
- Slingshot is primed.
- Go, go!
496
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,431
Mads, engines.
497
00:20:18,466 --> 00:20:20,932
- MADS: Engines...
- Go, go.
498
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:23,758
- Sarah, trajectory.
- SARAH: Trajectory...
499
00:20:28,675 --> 00:20:31,057
Guys, why is nobody
answering their comms?
500
00:20:31,092 --> 00:20:32,556
Are you all out for the day?
501
00:20:32,591 --> 00:20:33,598
Welcome to engineering,
502
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,890
or as I call it, prompting. Nadia...
503
00:20:35,925 --> 00:20:37,467
There's a rupture in the turd shield.
504
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:38,677
- What?
- Yeah!
505
00:20:38,713 --> 00:20:41,177
- Tell me you vented it. Tell...
- Tell me you vented it!
506
00:20:41,262 --> 00:20:44,144
There is a shitstorm coming,
and when I say "shit,"
507
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:46,603
I mean shit, and when I say "storm,"
508
00:20:46,639 --> 00:20:48,651
I mean shit!
509
00:20:48,716 --> 00:20:51,856
- Look.
- Oh, for fu... fu... fu...
510
00:20:51,892 --> 00:20:53,017
Oh, fa-fa-fa!
511
00:20:56,612 --> 00:20:59,785
- Okay, remember, Frank.
- I know how to work a button.
512
00:20:59,821 --> 00:21:01,404
"Press." It's "press" a button.
513
00:21:01,989 --> 00:21:02,954
Press a button.
514
00:21:03,231 --> 00:21:05,321
Are we still on protocol, team?
515
00:21:05,357 --> 00:21:08,614
Oui, protocol status is... nominal.
516
00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:12,182
Frank, you're the best.
You're a fucking silverback.
517
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:14,015
There are children here.
518
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:15,765
Let's action slingshot.
519
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,716
Thrusters are primed, Frank. Go.
520
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,882
Go, go!
521
00:21:21,175 --> 00:21:22,633
(GASPING)
522
00:21:26,549 --> 00:21:27,848
I should've done it.
523
00:21:27,883 --> 00:21:29,681
What did I... Did I... What did I do?
524
00:21:29,716 --> 00:21:33,217
Invoking emergency headset protocol.
525
00:21:35,303 --> 00:21:37,221
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Cyrus? Billie?
526
00:21:37,925 --> 00:21:40,015
Was that a... Was that a good shudder?
527
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:42,015
Or a bad shudder?
528
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:44,598
- (ALARM BLARING)
- Ryan. Ryan, it's Billie.
529
00:21:44,633 --> 00:21:46,223
Someone forgot to vent the wetsuit.
530
00:21:46,258 --> 00:21:50,182
This is not good.
Very code not good. Code bad!
531
00:21:50,217 --> 00:21:52,383
Ah, that's not really
a code, though, is it?
532
00:21:54,432 --> 00:21:56,523
(AMERICAN ACCENT) Okay!
Why don't we, uh,
533
00:21:56,675 --> 00:21:59,598
take another photograph?
Get all the kids there.
534
00:21:59,633 --> 00:22:02,182
Nice big smiles, everybody.
Right down to the front.
535
00:22:02,217 --> 00:22:03,681
Now, if you bunch in tight...
536
00:22:03,716 --> 00:22:04,890
BILLIE: Captain. (CLEARS THROAT)
537
00:22:04,925 --> 00:22:08,806
We are currently
leaking human shit and piss
538
00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:10,681
live right now.
539
00:22:10,716 --> 00:22:12,473
- Wha...
- Or excrement and urine,
540
00:22:12,508 --> 00:22:13,514
if you're in first class.
541
00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:14,765
(ENGLISH ACCENT) The wetsuit is turds?
542
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,723
That's exactly what it is.
You want a brown star?
543
00:22:16,758 --> 00:22:19,389
Well, "crystal clear" might seem like
544
00:22:19,424 --> 00:22:21,890
an odd phrase to use right now,
but I think you should've been
545
00:22:21,925 --> 00:22:23,306
crystal clear about this!
546
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:26,057
I was. I explained this to you
over at Spike's class,
547
00:22:26,092 --> 00:22:28,306
as did Spike, as did that little child.
548
00:22:28,341 --> 00:22:30,514
God, you don't feel like a massive idiot
549
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,182
about that button thing, do you?
550
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,681
'Cause you just have
to let it go, honestly,
551
00:22:34,716 --> 00:22:35,890
because it will kill you.
552
00:22:35,925 --> 00:22:38,424
Oh, my fuck! Look at all that shit!
553
00:22:38,841 --> 00:22:40,133
(GASPING)
554
00:22:42,424 --> 00:22:44,932
MATT: So, the ship seems
to be shitting itself,
555
00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:47,723
but don't get hung up on results, Frank.
556
00:22:47,758 --> 00:22:49,348
The journey is the destination.
557
00:22:49,383 --> 00:22:51,598
Iris, I'm hearing things
right now that would worry me
558
00:22:51,633 --> 00:22:53,598
if they were true.
Please tell me they're not true.
559
00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:55,431
- They're all lies.
- Oh, thank God. Wait!
560
00:22:55,466 --> 00:22:58,431
You're just saying that because
I told you to, aren't you?
561
00:22:58,466 --> 00:22:59,508
- Yes.
- Oh, fuck!
562
00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:03,363
I've never seen so many number twos.
563
00:23:03,399 --> 00:23:05,114
ZEKE'S MOM: Is that what I think it is?
564
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:06,942
Hell yeah, baby. Hell yeah.
565
00:23:08,633 --> 00:23:10,348
(GROANING)
566
00:23:10,383 --> 00:23:12,765
- (ALARM SOUNDING)
- RYAN (AUTOMATED): This is an emergency.
567
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,306
- I did not...
- Please remain calm.
568
00:23:14,341 --> 00:23:15,932
- Okay, that's not good.
- (ENGLISH ACCENT) Okay,
569
00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:17,098
ultra-emergency now.
570
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:18,264
- I need...
- Accent!
571
00:23:18,299 --> 00:23:20,431
(AMERICAN ACCENT)
...all non-essential personnel
572
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,681
to leave the bridge right now,
please. Thank you.
573
00:23:23,716 --> 00:23:25,431
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Not you, not you!
574
00:23:25,466 --> 00:23:27,223
Especially this guy.
Get him out of here.
575
00:23:27,258 --> 00:23:28,973
- FRANK KELLY: Sorry, Karen.
- You son of a bitch!
576
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:30,675
- RYAN: Please remain calm.
- Sorry.
577
00:23:35,175 --> 00:23:36,508
Yeah, I can't eat this.
578
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:40,182
Tanto, tanto merda che esce.
579
00:23:40,217 --> 00:23:42,514
- (OVERLAPPING VOICES IN VARIOUS LANGUAGES)
- Ma tanto, tanto, tanto
580
00:23:42,549 --> 00:23:45,890
esce la merda, esce, esce,
esce. Che cazzo fai?
581
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,932
We are all going to die
of radiation poisoning
582
00:23:48,967 --> 00:23:52,473
if we don't plug the hole in
the vent right now. Like, now.
583
00:23:52,508 --> 00:23:53,765
Okay, if anyone needs to freak out,
584
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,765
this is a safe space. Emotionally.
585
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,806
Physically, we're obviously
in terrible danger.
586
00:23:57,841 --> 00:23:59,640
A real captain would be out there.
587
00:23:59,675 --> 00:24:03,348
Yes! Captain, you need
to get out there and fix...
588
00:24:03,383 --> 00:24:06,692
whatever this is. This dark evil.
589
00:24:07,258 --> 00:24:09,057
Look, I think you may have to do this.
590
00:24:09,092 --> 00:24:10,306
(AMERICAN ACCENT) No. No, no, no.
591
00:24:10,341 --> 00:24:13,890
Mr. Judd, the captain's place
is on the bridge.
592
00:24:13,925 --> 00:24:16,765
Look, the whole world
wants to see you out there!
593
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,640
No, the whole world
wants to see a specialist,
594
00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:21,806
and I am not a specialist in that.
595
00:24:21,841 --> 00:24:24,549
Go, Mr. Wetsuit! He's an expert.
596
00:24:25,299 --> 00:24:26,765
I never knew that before.
597
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,556
You are the perfect man for this job.
598
00:24:28,591 --> 00:24:31,681
Zeke, whoever does go out there,
I'm gonna make sure they bring
599
00:24:31,716 --> 00:24:33,057
you back a nice, big...
600
00:24:33,092 --> 00:24:35,602
Captain Clark saved my life
20 years ago.
601
00:24:36,133 --> 00:24:38,541
When we were mining
for asteroids. Do you remember?
602
00:24:38,758 --> 00:24:43,765
My harness failed, and I thought
I was gonna die.
603
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,306
(SNIFFLES)
604
00:24:45,341 --> 00:24:48,848
And the captain untethered his tether,
605
00:24:48,883 --> 00:24:51,251
and he jumped out and he caught me.
606
00:24:51,758 --> 00:24:55,461
And he loves his uniform.
But he loves danger more.
607
00:24:55,802 --> 00:24:58,600
And that is why we are saved, people.
608
00:24:58,636 --> 00:25:00,017
So, now you can act?
609
00:25:00,053 --> 00:25:02,178
(APPLAUSE)
610
00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:06,258
Wh... No, no, no, no.
611
00:25:10,549 --> 00:25:13,932
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Avenue 5!
612
00:25:13,967 --> 00:25:15,848
CROWD: Avenue 5!
613
00:25:15,883 --> 00:25:19,389
- Fly safe, cap!
- Yeah! Right.
614
00:25:19,424 --> 00:25:21,389
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Of all
the things that are not good
615
00:25:21,424 --> 00:25:23,723
about this, one of them is,
I'm still drunk!
616
00:25:23,758 --> 00:25:25,140
Okay, listen, it's gonna be fine.
617
00:25:25,175 --> 00:25:27,890
Uh, focus on her, because she's
got a really promising story.
618
00:25:27,925 --> 00:25:30,973
Is there a worse way to die?
Because right now,
619
00:25:31,008 --> 00:25:32,389
I'd be inclined to pick that one.
620
00:25:32,424 --> 00:25:36,389
It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna
talk directly into your ear,
621
00:25:36,424 --> 00:25:38,890
and I'm gonna walk you through
this whole horror.
622
00:25:38,925 --> 00:25:40,514
You've just gotta find me
on the comms link,
623
00:25:40,549 --> 00:25:41,848
or I won't be able to help you.
624
00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:44,015
Okay, find me on the comms link.
Thank you. Take him down.
625
00:25:44,050 --> 00:25:45,765
- Find me on the comms link!
- Back to your stations.
626
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,932
- RYAN: Please remain calm.
- JUDD: We got this!
627
00:25:47,967 --> 00:25:51,556
There is a rupture in the hull,
and Cap has gone to do an EVA.
628
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,348
So, emergency drill. Go, go, go!
629
00:25:53,383 --> 00:25:55,424
- Uh, oui. Go, go!
- Yes.
630
00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:57,293
- EVA?
- Yes!
631
00:25:59,314 --> 00:26:01,398
- (CHUCKLES)
- I love improv.
632
00:26:02,967 --> 00:26:06,466
(CHEERING)
633
00:26:10,422 --> 00:26:11,928
I believe in you.
634
00:26:11,979 --> 00:26:14,528
But if, for whatever reason,
it doesn't work out,
635
00:26:14,564 --> 00:26:16,514
I'm gonna name a sports center
636
00:26:16,549 --> 00:26:18,883
or artificial ski slope after you.
637
00:26:20,291 --> 00:26:25,590
Okay, engineering. Forward split
wetsuit protocol three
638
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,965
to my station.
639
00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:29,903
Protocol three.
That is my favorite protocol.
640
00:26:32,189 --> 00:26:33,606
SARAH: Protocol three.
641
00:26:38,341 --> 00:26:40,341
- BILLIE: Okay.
- Oh, fucking hell.
642
00:26:42,675 --> 00:26:44,598
BILLIE: Ryan? Ryan, can you hear me?
643
00:26:44,633 --> 00:26:46,188
Are you ready to do this?
644
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,008
With every fiber of my being, no.
645
00:26:51,050 --> 00:26:54,175
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
646
00:26:58,338 --> 00:27:02,338
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
647
00:27:54,461 --> 00:27:56,461
Captain, what exactly
are you looking at?
648
00:27:56,497 --> 00:27:57,839
The inside of my eyelids.
649
00:27:57,875 --> 00:27:59,757
Can you get visuals on the compromise?
650
00:27:59,793 --> 00:28:01,826
Visuals? What's wrong with "see"?
651
00:28:02,479 --> 00:28:03,402
Or "come back in"?
652
00:28:03,438 --> 00:28:04,403
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
653
00:28:04,439 --> 00:28:05,781
RAV MULCAIR: Oh, this is not good.
654
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:06,692
Where are you going?
655
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,938
I'm gonna do 600 push-ups
and then throw up in the sink.
656
00:28:09,424 --> 00:28:11,890
I'll see you later
at the Halfway Home Party.
657
00:28:11,925 --> 00:28:12,848
MAN: Is... Is that true?
658
00:28:12,883 --> 00:28:14,723
Well, it was true when I said it.
659
00:28:14,758 --> 00:28:16,092
Like a marriage vow.
660
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,883
This party is going to be
an orgy of the gods.
661
00:28:20,258 --> 00:28:22,098
- So firm.
- Well... (STUTTERS)
662
00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:23,598
Firm is my middle name.
663
00:28:23,633 --> 00:28:25,716
- WOMAN: What's your first name?
- Colin.
664
00:28:26,008 --> 00:28:28,299
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
51882
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