All language subtitles for Gags.The.Clown.2018

[eerie theme playing]

[static]

[beeps]

[static]

[helicopter whirring]

-[woman giggling]
-Hey Jon, you missed

a spot there on the back
of your neck.

-[Jon] Fuck you!
-[Cory] I'm sorry,
man, I'm sorry.

I was just clowning around.

Cory, seriously,
I'm not in the mood.

Turn off the phone.

Let's get the fuck out of here
so I can clean this shit off.

[Ashley giggling]

[Ashley] What?

[Cory] Oh, my God, why are
there balloons in your car?

-[Ashley] What?
-[Jon] Goddamn it, Ash.

What, you think
this is my fault?

[Jon] You drove,
it's your car.

You probably left
the doors unlocked.

Fuck you, I locked
the car, I know I did.

[Jon] Yeah, I bet you did.

Besides, you're
the one who had to go
make a friend tonight.

You just had to go find him,
didn't you? Now, look.

[Jon] How did he get in?
How did he get in?

[Ashley] He broke in, genius.
And he probably stole all
my stuff too.

-[Jon] Like what, you didn't
have anything in there.
-[Cory] Jesus!

[Jon] Oh, shit, guys,
he's following us.

[Ashley] What?

[Cory] He's just
standing there watching.

-This fucking guy.
-[Ashley] Oh, God. Jon.

[Cory] Dude, dude, I don't think
that's a good idea.

-[Ashley] Guys, we need
to get in the car.
-Hey, asshole.

-[Ashley] Jon?
-You think you're
pretty funny, huh?

[Ashley]
Cory! Jon?

[Jon] Why don't I come
over there and beat
the shit out of you?

Jon, get in the car.

[Jon] You got nothing to say?

-You're just gonna stand there?
-Cory, come on, get in the car!

-[Jon] I should call the cops
on your dumb ass.
-[alarm chirps]

[Ashley] Both of you,
get in the car now!

[Jon] Who the hell fills
balloons with a bunch of powder?

Everyone's all scared of you
because they saw some
photos on the news.

-But you're nothing but a pussy.
-[Ashley] Jon!

[Cory] Come on,
Jon, get in the car.
I want to get out of here!

[Ashley whispers]
Come on, let's go.

God, he's creeping me out.

[Jon] It's not Halloween,
you piece of shit.

[Jon coughing]

[Ashley] You're the
one that made us leave.
Somebody told you they saw Gags.

You, you had to go find him.
And you did.

Well good job, because
he's a fucking prick.

[Cory] These damn
balloons are everywhere.

[tense theme playing]

[Cory]
Try and find another exit.
This is not right.

[coughing]

[Ashley] Ugh, what were
you drinking tonight?

[Cory] Is that blood?

Can we get going before
the creepy clown comes back?

[Ashley] I know, I'm trying.
I don't know

-what this dickhead is doing!
-[car horn honks]

-[thumping]
-[Cory] What was that?

[Ashley] God.

[thumping]

-[Jon] Jesus Christ,
this is not cool.
-Oh, my God.

[Ashley]
Feels like someone's kicking us
from underneath the car.

Jon, just shut up for a second!

God, come on!

[Cory] That wasn't
coming from him,

that was coming from outside.

[Ashley] Anything?

[Ashley screaming]

[Cory] Fuck, fuck, God!

[Ashley] Oh, my God!
Where you going, Cory?

Cory, come back.

[Cory] God!

[Ashley] Oh, my God!

[Ashley]
Cory, come back!

[Cory mumbling]

[laughing]

[Ashley] Cory!

[Cory] It's me?

[Cory laughing]

[Ashley] What is going on?!

[splattering]

[Ashley]
Oh, my God!

Oh, God! Oh, my God!

Oh my-- Oh God, oh my God!

[urgent TV news theme playing]

[male reporter] It's something I never thought I would say

in my 22 years of
broadcast journalism.

But here it goes.

There's an evil clown roaming
the streets of Green Bay.

This frightening video
and many other images

of a mysterious person
in a dingy clown suit

roaming the streets
with black balloons

have been flooding
social media all week.

While police and city officials are still determining

the proper recourse for
this bizarre situation,

we sent WGRB's
very own Heather Duprey

out on location

to where it all began
just eight days ago.

Heather, take it away.

Thanks, Tom.

I'm standing under
the Mason Bridge,

a quiet little area
in downtown Green Bay

that no one ever paid
attention to...until now.

As you can see, there's
a frenzy of action behind me,

as people gather hoping
to catch a glimpse

of Green Bay's very
own Gags the Clown.

It was here that the clown was first spotted one week ago.

A passerby stopped to take pictures in awe of what he saw

and posted them
on social media.

The pictures
quickly went viral,

intriguing millions
around the world.

But some are suspicious
about the clown's intentions.

While some find it to be
harmless, good-natured fun,

others are troubled,
even frightened,

and wish that whoever
was responsible

would quit
their clowning around.

The last thing
I need to worry about

is some unstable person
dressed in a clown suit.

I mean, how is
this not illegal?

Children are scared,
parents are scared.

Heck, I'm scared.

What are people
really scared of,

a killer clown
from outer space?

Come on.

It's just a guy looking
to have some fun

and I'm all for it.

Now, as reported
earlier this week,

the Green Bay Police Department has issued a statement saying

that they will not be
pursuing this individual

unless they have
reason to believe

that he or she
has broken the law.

However, due to the commotion
that Gags the Clown

has created,
the police department

will be increasing its patrols

and questioning anyone
for suspicious behavior.

If you or anyone you know

has seen this individual

or any other individual
dressed like a clown,

you are instructed

to call the police
department immediately.

[man] Come out, come out,
wherever you are, Gags!

[crowd cheering]

Regardless of your thoughts

on the Green Bay
clown's actions,

it's safe to say that he or she has this city's attention.

For WGRB, I'm Heather Duprey.

Make sure to check
back in at 10 p.m.

as we continue
our on location coverage

for WGRB's Gags Watch.

[urgent TV news theme playing]

-[Dale] And feed's cut.
-"Gags Watch"?

That's what our crack team
of writers spent a week
coming up with?

-[Dale laughs]
-Sounds like a porno,
for fuck's sake.

[Tyler] Last time I'm gonna
tell you this, dude.

You gotta wait outside
for 30 minutes.

No one's gonna expect
when it happens,

but you gotta trust me on this.

-Hey, it's Heather Duprey.
-[Chris] What?

[Sara] From Channel Nine.

[gasping] I bet they're
looking for Gags.

She is so pretty.

I'd totally bang her.

[Sara scoffing]

What?
I totally would.

Hey, what about you, Gags?

You wanna bang
the hot news lady?

Gags horny.
Gags wants bang hot news lady.

[both laughing]

[Sara] Why does Gags
sound like a Neanderthal?

A what?

Those original Gags
photos are just creepy.

You're still looking at them?

I mean, I don't
wanna look at them,

but you know...

No, I don't.
Then just don't. Heh.
Pretty simple.

You know when something's
really scary or creepy

and you just can't
stop looking at it?

That's how I feel about
those Gags photos.

Yeah, no, that's
your problem, not mine.

-That obviously is my problem.
-[police radio chatter]

I just was hoping
that you're my partner

and I can confide it with you.

I guess this clown situation
has you really emotional, huh?

You know, uh, yeah.

[rock music playing
over speakers]

As you just heard,
I am Charles Wright

and this is
the Wright Stuff Podcast,

coming at you live
every Saturday night

for your listening pleasure.

I almost hate to do it,

because I'm so damn sick
of hearing about it myself,

but tonight's topic is
something that's really

been bothering me as of late.

As most of you know, I'm
a Wisconsin boy, born and bred,

currently residing in the
beautiful city of Green Bay.

It's small, it's quaint,

and for the most part peaceful.

But earlier this week,
we had an unwanted visitor.

And his arrival has me
pissed to say the least.

That's right, a clown.

A goddamn clown.

Gags the Clown, to be exact,

because somebody thought
it'd be a good idea

to name the bastard.

Can anybody tell me
what kind of person

dresses up in big floppy
shoes and a red nose

and walks around
at two o'clock in the morning?

I mean, we're not
just talking about

some drunk kid from
the house party down the road

who lost a bet and ran around
in a Halloween costume.

This guy, he put
some thought into this,

with the sole intent of
terrifying people to death.

And what's worse,
he keeps doing it.

He keeps going out
and being seen.

I'm thinking
this wacko is getting off

on terrifying
my city half to death,

and I, for one,
have had enough of it.

-Thanks, dude.
-Thank you.

[people chattering]

-Yes!
-[Sara] Ew!

[crowd laughing]

Well, he should have
thought about that...

before passing out.

[Sara] Oh, ew,
that stinks so bad.

[crowd chanting]
Eyebrows! Eyebrows! Eyebrows!

-[man] Do it, come on!
-[thumping]

[Sara] It's about time.

What was that?

[hip hop music playing
over speakers]

I don't see anything.

[thumping]

-Holy shit!
-Oh, my God!

It's nothing, someone's
just messing with us.

[Sara] No, there's
something down there.

[tense theme playing]

[Sara] Is that Chris?

[woman screaming]

-[woman] Holy shit!
-[Sara] What, what is it?

[woman] It's that clown,
it's the news clown.

[woman]
Hey, that's not funny.

[chattering]

-[woman] It's Gags!
-[Tyler] Oh, guys, relax.

It's probably just some
jackass dressed like a clown.

This isn't funny.
Lock the doors.

[Sara] Liz, calm down,
it's all right.

Someone's probably
just messing with us.

It's not all right.

This is my house
and I fucking hate clowns.

[crowd cheering]

[sniffing]

[Liz screams]

Wanna blow my balloon?

[laughing]

Chris, you fucking dick!

You assholes aren't funny!

-Epic.
-So good.

Holy shit, I had no idea that
she was so afraid of clowns.

[Tyler] Nice one.
Nice job, dude.

[rustling nearby]

[Sara] That didn't sound good.

What the fu--

WGRB is first on the scene

reporting on a major disturbance at the Pine Street

parking ramp
in downtown Green Bay.

While details are
limited at this time,

what I can tell you is that
the ramp will be closed

until further notice,

and that an official
investigation has been opened

by the Green Bay
Police Department.

Stay tuned to Channel 9
for more updates

on this developing story.

For WGRB, I'm Heather Duprey.

[Dale] And the feed is cut.

[sighs] Thank fucking God,
something exciting

to report on in this city.

Unfortunately, Ron wants us
officially sticking with Gags.

Are you fucking kidding me?

He's giving Nathan
the parking ramp

so we can stay on
the clown caper.

Fucking Nathan.

[Ashley] Yes, it was Gags.

The girl's ride is here.

They were wondering if
they could take her home now.

[Chrissy] Yes,
I have everything I need.

How bad is the victim?

[Jake] It's messy.

What's Perkins saying,
homicide?

It's really messy.

We have a mess of a victim,

an individual who's face is
cut off that fled the scene,

and a witness
whose boyfriend is now MIA.

Wait, his face was cut off?

That's what she said,
the man's face was cut off.

[dispatcher on radio]
Unit 1-12, response
to 237 Courtland

for a possible child
abduction involving a clown.

Of course.

This was eight days ago.

And in those eight days,
there have been about

three confirmed sightings

and about a million
unconfirmed sightings

and what I wanna know is,

why are people
grabbing their phones

and taking pictures of him?

Like I said, I'd be
grabbing something else.

I mean,
don't these people realize

that by snapping these pics
and loading 'em online

and going on and on
about how scared we are,

not only are
we giving this asshole

exactly what he wants,

we're paving the way
for copycats

to come out of the woodwork

and look for
the same amount of attention.

Don't even get me
started on the GBPD.

I mean, look,
I have endless respect

for our men and women
behind the badge

going out there
every single day,

putting their lives on the line
to protect and serve,

but they have dropped the ball
in a big way this week.

I mean, we have
a individual essentially

terrorizing the city.

People are afraid
to go out at night.

Parents are afraid
to have their kids

walking home from school.

I mean, the city is
essentially under attack,

and yet, the cops say there's
nothing they can do about it.

"Dressing like a clown
isn't illegal."

Well, what about disturbing
the fucking peace?

'Cause last time I checked,
that was still illegal.

Is that true, Eddie?

Did you see a clown
who offered you candy

in exchange for you coming
into the woods with him?

Can't remember.

Eddie.

You know it's a crime
to lie to the police.

-[Mom] Now, wait a minute.
-Lori saw him, not me.

I never even saw him.

[police radio chatter]

It's okay, we're done
here, Eddie, thank you.

Ma'am, it is very important
when making a report

to the police that you
gather all the facts first.

Facts?
You know he's up to no good.

And stop giving me that,

"It's not illegal
to dress creepy" bullshit.

Watch your language, ma'am.

And have a good night.

Unit 1-12, reporting
207A as a false alarm.

[dispatcher] Copy 1-12.

This whole damn city's
clown crazy.

[tense theme playing]

[Meredith] 1-13
approaching blue Impala.

[dispatcher]
Plates are registered

to a Doug Van Buren,
address 542 Skylight Terrace

and appears valid
on a blue Chevy Impala.

[Meredith] I need you
to shut off the engine

and exit the vehicle.

Sir, take off the mask
and exit the vehicle now!

-[knocking]
-Hey!

I'm not playing games!

You need to take off
the mask, show me your hands

and get out of the vehicle!

Christ's sake,
what is this kid on?

Driver of
Impala plates unresponsive.

White male, early 20s
wearing a clown costume.

We're gonna need another unit.

Hey, don't you move!

Stay right there!

Picked a hell of a topic
for tonight's show, boy.

Comments are flowing
like the Schplatz Light.

-Ah-ha.
-Laura from Green Bay says,

"My 15-year-old
daughter is begging me

to let her
and her friends go out

and try and find him,
but I refused.

There's something
not right about him.

This isn't someone having
fun at the expense of others.

This is a sick individual."

Hey, I couldn't
agree more, Laura.

Let me just say this.

If dressing up like a clown

and walking around
the city at night

is your idea of entertainment,

you need to get
your fucking head checked

because something ain't right.

Hey, hey, hey, check out
this comment by Larry Robinson.

It's what we were
talking about last night.

All right, all right,
uh, let me find it.

Okay, here we go.

Oh-ho. "We'd love to see you
go out and find him.

Do what the cops
are too afraid to do

and put a stop
to this nonsense."

Thanks for the comment, Larry.

Oh, shit, it's a popular
one too, 14 likes already

in just two minutes.

Hey, trust me, folks, it's
been discussed long and hard.

You know, at first,
I just shrugged it off,

'cause I figured, you know,
our law enforcement's

gonna take care of it.

But eight days past
the point, I'm wondering

if maybe that's
what needs to be done,

a little vigilante justice.

I mean, we are the laughing
stock of the country right now.

The whole city's
in a state of panic

over a goddamn clown?

Hey, what do you all think?

I mean, is that
the popular opinion out there?

Should Charles Wright
go clown hunting?

Let us know on the page.

Better yet,
share this video.

I tell you what, if we get
500 shares, it's a done deal.

I will go out and I will hit
the streets of Green Bay

and I will find
this clown tonight.

So if you wanna see that
happen, share the video.

[rock music playing
over speakers]

[crowd] Whoo!

[chattering]

[laughing]

Would you fuck me?

I'd fuck me.

[cheering]

[nose squeaks]

[Deighan] Power's out.

Place is trashed.

No sign of anyone.

10-12.

-[thumping]
-Wha...?

-[radio chatter]
-[tense theme playing]

Green Bay Police Department!

Anyone in here,
make yourself known!

-[film reel clicking]
-Huh?

Hey, don't move!

Freeze, stop moving!

Stop, stop!
[screaming]

What do you think
is cool about it?

It's a fucking clown.

I honestly, I don't even get--

Why do people give a shit?

-Why--?
-He just stands there.

He's probably some
fucking crackhead.

If I met a crackhead
that had the initiative

to build a clown costume...

You don't build a clown,
he bought it somewhere.

Great, so he saved up money.

Ask and you shall receive.

This is Charles Wright
of the Wright Stuff Podcast.

And on tonight's episode,
we asked our fans

if they would like me to go out

and find this clown that's
been causing all this ruckus.

But there was one stipulation.

Our clown huntin' wouldn't
begin until we had reached

over 500 shares.

Well, last time we checked,
we had over 800,

so we took it
as a big fucking yes

that was heard loud and clear.

So, we're gonna hit
the streets tonight,

Wayne here's gonna tag along
and videotape everything

for your viewing pleasure

on this exclusive Wright
Stuff special episode.

If he is just
a fucking crackhead,

he's done very well for himself.

[laughing]

He's got a following,
a devoted fan base.

He has a hashtag.

No, this is just like
Squirrelly T in Cincinnati.

-[Dale] Great.
-The guy dressed up

as a squirrel mascot,
turned out to be a crackhead.

It's the same thing.

Great, but that is like

if you're going
to be a crackhead

and you have x amount
of options in front of you

and you chose the one

that you're going
to create a character--

I hate when
you play devil's advocate.

It's so obnoxious.

I, for real,
find this guy heroic.

-Heroic?
-Heroic.

I think that you use words

and you don't entirely know
what they mean.

[dispatcher] I need a unit
at 1647 Division Street.

Underage drinking party.

We have clowns reported
on site, please advise.

Should we take that call?

Now look, here's the deal.

If we find this guy--

[Wayne] Uh-uh,
when we find him.

Thank you, Wayne.

When we find this guy,

I'm simply gonna ask him
to take his goofy ass home

and stop this nonsense
once and for all.

And I will do
my goddamn best to be civil.

I really will.

But after that,
the ball's in his court.

And if he comes
at me, pulls anything,

or even says something
so stupid that I get pissed off,

he's gonna say hi
to old Audrey here.

[Wayne] Yeah, that's
what I'm talking about.

See, old Audrey and I

did a few tours
together overseas.

Had a few dates
on the front line,

got along real good,

and she put out
from the get go.

[Wayne] Yeah, put a few
towelheads out of their misery.

Oh, trust me, there was more
than just a few. [chuckling]

I'm just kidding.

Much as I love to let
old Audrey tag along,

I'm thinking I'll need
to be a little more discreet.

That's where Gwen comes in.

See she's simple, dependable,

always has dinner ready,
never lets me down.

You know what, I might
even bring along big Marge.

She's been cooped up
for a while,

been itching to powder up.

One blast from old Marge,

that clown's gonna pop like
one of those black balloons.

Be nothing left
but his big ole shoes.

My life's work is jeopardized
by these scary clowns.

[sobbing]

I'm sorry, I didn't think
that I'd get this emotional.

It's okay, you're doing good.

I just, I love being a clown,

and it feels like the whole
world is either scared of me

or hates me right now.

Oh, careful,
your makeup's gonna run.

[crowd chattering]

Sara?

-What are you doing?
-[Sara] Nothing.

Sara.

-[Sara] What?
-Don't be like that.

-[Sara] Don't be like what?
-Don't do this.

-Dude, dude.
-Hey, what's up?

Drew is upstairs.

-Okay?
-With Anna Novotny.

[Sara chuckling]
They're gonna hate you.

-The fuck?
-Jesus Christ!

Oh, Drew!
I'm gonna make you--

Get the fuck off of me!
The hell is the matter with you?

-[Anna] Get out, Chris!
-[Sara] We gotta hit, cops!

[Sara] Crap, Chris, Chris, stop
screwing around, we gotta go!

[people clamoring]

[Sara]
Chris, really?

Really, just gonna
leave without Tyler?

I can't get busted, I can't
get busted, I can't get busted.

[Jake] Hey!
Stop right there.

I don't think so.

[Chrissy on radio]
What's your 20? Over.

[Jake] I'm in the alley behind
the 1600 block of Division.

Just apprehended one, over.

So, your night's about
to get interesting, huh?

[Chrissy] You've
got to be kidding me.

[Jake] Hope the party
was worth it.

[Sara] Of course
you're working tonight.

I'm sorry, I...

Jake, meet my daughter Sara.

Stepdaughter.

Oh, so you're Sara.

Nice to finally meet you.

Likewise.

-[Chrissy] You been drinking?
-No.

-Don't lie to me.
-I'm not.

Give me a breathalyzer
if you don't believe me.

This is awkward.

[Chrissy] Thank you,
Jake, I got it.

I'm gonna go sweep the house.

[Chrissy]
Look at me. Look at me.

-Who were you with tonight?
-Friends.

-[Chrissy] What friends?
-I don't know, a few.

Cut the shit, who?

Am I in trouble,
Officer Renard?

Or can I go now?

[Chrissy] Okay,
drop the attitude, Sara.

I am really sick
and tired of this.

You know, you can't just use me

as a get out of jail
free card, okay?

[Sara] I didn't drink.

[Chrissy]
Okay, where's your car?

[Sara] It's at Chris's.

Okay, I want you to go
directly to Chris's house,

get your car and drive home.

I'm calling your father
in an hour

and he better tell me
you're in for the night.

No, it's Saturday night!

I don't care, Sara,
I want you home!

You know, matter of fact,

get in my squad car,
I'll take you home myself.

[scoffs]
No, I will go home on my own.

I'm serious, Sara.

Yeah, I know, me too.

[Chrissy] Okay, I want you
to go straight home!

10-4.

[Chrissy]
You don't run from cops!

Damn brat.

Gee, Miss Duprey, you really
are much prettier in person

than you are on TV.

Oh, thanks.

[Dale] All right,
in five, four, three...

Thanks, Tom and Alison.

I'm standing here
with Ralph Jungwirth,

business owner of Somewhere In Time Antiques on Cedar Street

and lifelong resident
of Green Bay.

Ralph here claims
to have seen the person

that everyone in Green Bay,
not to mention the world,

has been talking about.

Ralph, what can
you tell us about

your Gags the Clown sighting?

Well, ahem,
it happens every day

when I walk through my store,

I see this!

Ah, excuse me.

Are you saying
that you didn't see the clown

that everyone has
been talking about

this past week?

Well, not exactly.

But I mean, I saw
all the photos on the news.

[chuckles]
Everyone has.

But I recognized him
immediately.

The outfit, the face paint.

Now, this picture is
from 1974.

It was taken at the Bowers and Marsh Big Top Family Circus

that set up shop
every summer in Green Bay

for 20 plus years prior,

right up until that August
when it all went up in smoke.

I've got tons of their
old stuffs in this store.

Salvaged everything I could
after that fire, and I'll--

Sir, you mean to tell me
that you are not referring

to the clown that everyone's
been talking about,

but rather a different
clown from 1974?

Look!

It's the same one.

Well, there you have it.

Has Gags the Clown
been wandering the streets

of Green Bay since 1974 and
no one's noticed until now?

We'll have more on this story and many more exciting updates

as we continue
our WGRB Gags coverage.

For WGRB, I'm Heather Duprey,
stay tuned.

[Dale]
And the live feed is cut.

What?

We're done, that's it?

Yeah, we're done.

Eh, okay.

Thank you for making me
come all the way down

to my shop this late at night

for a piddly little interview!

No, thank you

for that wonderful breaking news
from 1974.

Get out of my store!

Maybe the competition
will believe me,

you pixie whore.

[Dale laughing]

Oh, my God!

[Dale] You kind
of did deserve that.

Pack up your shit, let's go.

Oh, shut the fuck--

-Oh, look who it is.
-Oh, jeez.

Rebecca Chambers
of WBSC, reporting live

on scene where
we have Heather Duprey

of the struggling WGRB.

Now, can you tell me,
Miss Duprey,

what does it feel like
to be the sole ambassador

of Gags Watch?

-Just stop.
-Hmm, "Just stop."

Well, you heard it
here first, folks.

Heather Duprey,
first on the beat

is going to, well, stop.

Details at 10.

Hmm, typical
Channel 3, coming here

for my sloppy seconds.

Damn girl, clearly
someone can't handle

a little friendly rivalry?

Oh, could this night
get any worse?

I feel like
my head is gonna blow.

Make sure
you're rolling, Cody.

Wouldn't wanna miss this.

Ah, okay, okay.

Calm down, we'll let you be.

Good luck tonight.

Make sure to keep
that positive attitude

of yours going strong.

-Bye, Dale.
-Bye, Bec.

-Later, Cody.
-[Cody] Later, man.

-What was that?
-What was what?

Bye, Dale.
Oh, bye, Bec.

-Later, Cody.
-Oh, come on.

Wait, are you
and Miss WBSC fuck--

Yes, I heard that, so game on.

[Chris] Hey,
look who showed up.

Oh, yeah,
and we were starting to think

you got booked by your mom--

-Thanks for waiting on me.
-Uh-huh?

Yeah, I could have
bolted a lot sooner

when the cops showed.

I was looking for you.

Come on, you don't
have to worry about me.

[Chris] Yeah, and we were
pretty sure your mom

would just bail you out again.

All right, it's stepmom.

You know,
and speaking of which,

she is fucking hot
in that uniform.

I mean, your dad must love 'em
young and exotic.

Tyler, shut up.

Just take me to my car.

Yeah, Sara,
it's not even nine o'clock,

you can't go home yet.

What, this party's busted.

What is there to do?

We're just gonna stay
in the street and drink beer

that Tyler stole
from his dad all night?

Yeah, we did that.

We're currently doing that.

But you know what,
we were talking about it.

The most fun that
we had all night

was scaring everyone
at that party, dude.

I mean, like, we need to take
advantage of this right now.

You make
such a convincing Gags.

[Sara] I don't
know about that.

Hell yeah, I do.

And I'm just saying,
Liz damn near shit her pants.

And this whole city is
about to do the same thing,

so let's just have a little
bit of fun with this, dude.

[Chris] I second this idea.

Yeah, well,
you guys go have fun.

I still wanna go home.

[Chris] But Sara,
we need you to be our third.

Who's gonna record everything?

[pop music playing over radio]

Traitor.

-Uh...
-Three letters.

I was going to say
Benedict Arnold.

That's way too many,
far more than three.

I'm just looking,
something traitor...

Ron...

Oh, oh, get this,
look at this guy!

-Look at this guy!
-Oh, my God.

-You are fucking kidding.
-[Dale laughing]

[Dale] Oh, he's going down.
He's gonna-- Oh, and he went!

-Whoa, buddy, oh, oh!
-[Dale] We gotta interview him
about Gags!

Can we please interview him?

This is exactly
what Ron deserves.

[Dale laughing]

Green Bay, you never
cease to amaze me.

Dude is just wrecked.

Well, what exactly
did you have in mind?

We're just gonna go
to random houses

and throw water
balloons at 'em?

No.

We're gonna go downtown.

We're gonna scare
some real people.

I mean, come on,
he's on everybody's mind.

We're just scaring them?

Yeah.

[Chris] But it's
going to be awesome.

Are you in?

Fine, I'm in.

[Chris] Yes.

[dispatcher]
Unit 1-62 and unit 1-83,

respond to the address 1120...

[male cop] Good evening, ma'am.
I'm responding to a phone call.

It's my daughter.
She's-- She's--

I don't know what's
gotten into her,

but she's not herself,
something's wrong.

The cops are here.

Okay. Ma'am, I'm gonna
need you to tell me

who's all in the house.

Oh, it's just me
and my two daughters,

Genna and my oldest
daughter Erin,

who's locked herself
in here and won't come out.

Okay, just the facts,
tell me what's going on.

Erin, she came home early.

Her and her two friends went out
looking for that damn clown.

She wasn't feeling good
and she was covered

in some sort of white powder.

That was cocaine.

Shut up, Genna.

I didn't put much
thought into it,

but then she went
into this trance

and she was holding
scissors in her hand

and she looked at me like
she wanted to hurt me.

She's been here ever since.

-May I?
-Yeah.

[tense theme playing]

-[knocking]
-Hey, Erin?

It's Officer Jacobs from the
Green Bay Police Department.

Why don't you come out here
so we can talk for a bit?

[clanking]

Did she have the scissors
with her when she went in?

-Yes.
-Hey, Erin?

Hey, you're worrying
your mother.

Yeah, I'm gonna come in
and check on you,

just make sure everything's
okay, all right?

[water running]

-[slamming]
-[Mom gasps]

Jesus, kid, you're
gonna have to let me in.

Unit 1-19, I'm gonna need
immediate assistance

on that 10-16 on Baird Street.

-[Mom] Oh! Oh, my God!
-[Genna screaming]

[man on speaker] Okay, pull up to the next window.

Want one?

No, keep those away
from me, I told you.

[cell phone ringing]

Ugh. Ron, no thank you.

Really, you're not
gonna answer that?

No. I'm not
in the mood for his crap.

Well, you know
he can see you, right?

I'm not in the mood
for your crap, Ron.

He doesn't have anything
worthwhile for us,

you know that.

[phone vibrating]

-Ugh.
-Jeez.

Oh.

Don't.

I mean, now I'm supposed
to ignore him too?

Dale!

Don't, don't, don't.

Hey, Ron.

Yeah, she is,
right next to me.

Yeah, hold on one sec.

Okay, you are good, Ron.

[Ron on speaker] Heather.

Hey, Ron, I must have
just missed your call.

Sorry about that.

Yeah, just stop right there.

I don't care to hear it.
How's your assignment?

Uh, it's going fine.

We interviewed
everyone you requested

and now we're just waiting
for the next big break.

Oh, the next
big break, huh?

Great. You remember
that nutjob Charles Wright

from the Wright Stuff Podcast?

Is that the guy
we interviewed last fall

when the NRA came into town?

Yeah, exactly.

Looks like he's
out there conducting

his own clown hunt tonight.

He asked if people wanted him to enforce "vigilante justice,"

since the GBPD
aren't doing enough,

according to him.

Wait, you mean
that he's gonna...?

Yeah, he's out there
looking for Gags

and he's gonna
put an end to him.

He began posting
Facebook Live videos

over an hour ago.

Holy shit, yes, this is
exactly what we needed, yes!

Yeah, you're right, this is exactly what we needed.

So tell me, why in the fuck
did Rebecca Chambers

just announce that WBSC
exclusive interview with him?

Wait, what did you just say?

Oh, you heard me.

What I wanna know
is how in the hell

did you miss the biggest
break in the Gags story?

Are you even paying attention to what you're doing out there?

Don't you put this
on me, okay?

I have done every
single one of your
pathetic fucknut interviews.

Who the fuck was that
Ed Gein motherfucker

at the antique store?

These pieces aren't news, Ron,

they're a goddamn joke.

You wanna tell me about what is

and isn't news,
sure, go ahead, fine.

Clearly you can't
tell what real news is

even when there's
some wannabe Batman

running around Green Bay
hunting a clown.

Somehow that didn't show up
on your radar, huh?

So please, go on,
Heather, enlighten me.

I did the best I could
with what you gave me.

Hell, I didn't even
want Gags Watch.

Good. 'Cause you're
not on it anymore.

Excuse me?

I've had enough
of your attitude

and having WBSC
snatch up the exclusives

without you even being
aware of the situation.

It's a pretty big fuckup.

You're officially
off the assignment.

Uh, wait, I'm sure we can
work something out, guys.

It's too late.
I already gave it to Nathan.

Nathan?

Yes, Nathan.

No, you cannot do this to me.

I worked my ass off for you.

I can do this, Heather.

And I just did.

Go home.
You're done for now.

But first, bring back
my fucking truck.

[call beeps off]

[screams]

[urgent TV news theme playing]

Good evening, Green Bay.

I'm Rebecca Chambers
reporting live for WBSC.

And we are proud to report
a fascinating development

in a story that has been
in the news this past week.

You better believe I'm gonna
act on my God-given right

to defend myself and put two
slugs in his [beep] lungs.

And the GBPD can hold me
accountable all they want.

'Cause guess what,
I hold myself accountable.

Charles Wright, host of
the Wright Stuff Podcast,

has opted
to take to the streets

in an effort
to find Gags the Clown.

To him, the joke has gone on
for far too long

and he is not laughing anymore.

[Charles] Rebecca, Americans
have to take our country back

and Charles Wright is here to set an example for you all.

Some may say,
including yours truly,

that you're taking this
a little too seriously.

Oh, am I? That's hilarious,
because for the last week

all I've been hearing from you

and all the other
crony news stations

is Gags, Gags, Gags.

So if anything,
my seriousness in the matter

is thanks to you.

[Rebecca]
Well, for all we know,

this can be someone's idea
of a prank.

That's right,
it could be a prank.

It could be a publicity stunt.

It could be
for some dumb horror movie

nobody's ever gonna see.

That doesn't change the fact

that he's out there
soliciting terror.

[Rebecca] So Gags
the clown is a terrorist?

That is exactly
what I'm saying.

Look, he's not
your just standard

garden variety
ISIS jihad terrorist.

You know, instead of hiding
behind a beard and a turban,

he's hiding
behind a clown mask.

But in the end,
he's still a terrorist.

-[man] Get him, Rock.
Get the clown.
-[dog barking]

Get the clown,
there's a good boy.

[Rebecca]
...it seems as if nobody's...

-...been able to find...
-[man] Good boy, Rock.

Gags the Clown.

What makes you think
that you will?

Not everybody was
a Marine for seven years.

Not everybody has
the knowledge that I have.

Look, I'm a trained soldier.

Hey, you sure you
don't wanna watch this?

[Heather] Goddamn van,
right, you piece of shit.

We'll take that as a no.

See, Gags isn't
some punk high schooler

with nothing better to do.

You could tell he's got
a plan of some sort.

And I am gonna foil that plan.

Her hair is stunning.

What will you do?

I will exercise any and all of my God-given rights

as an American.

[man] Oh, my God,
this guy is such a--

I don't believe him
for a second, okay?

...because Charles Wright
is looking for you.

Coming for you, pal!

And there you have it.
I'm Rebecca Chambers.

Make sure to stay tuned to WBSC

for more exclusive
coverage of Gags Hunt.

[urgent TV news theme playing]

[Rebecca] Thanks, Charles,
you did great!

It's just a guy
in a clown suit.

-You two know that, right?
-[Wayne] Listen up, toots.

You just do what you do,
let us do what we do, okay?

-Toots?
-Stay pretty
in front of the camera.

You two have a good night.

[Charles chuckles]
Thanks, we will.

[female operator on phone]
911, what's your emergency?

[woman on phone] Yeah, I was
just chased up the stairs

to my apartment by a person
dressed like a clown.

And now he's just standing
outside my front door.

[operator] Are you inside
the apartment now

and are your doors locked?

[woman] Yeah, but
he's just standing there
and he won't leave.

[operator]
What's your address?

[woman] 1506 Adams Street,
apartment seven.

[operator]
Do you know this person?

[woman]
No. Well, I don't know.
He's wearing a clown mask.

[operator] Has the
individual threatened you?

[woman] I consider
being chased by a clown

threatening, don't you?

[Chris laughing] Oh, man!
He's totally booking it.

[Sara] A shopping cart!

[Tyler] Holy shit.

And you wanted to go home.

[Sara] Hey,
I stayed out, didn't I?

[elevator bell dings]

[women both gasp]

[woman] Close the doors!
Close 'em!

Close 'em!
Go, go, go.

-Go, go, go, go.
-[clown] Bye, ladies.

[ship horn blaring]

[Sara and Tyler mumbling]

[Sara and Tyler laughing]

This shit.

[police siren blaring
in distance]

It's too fucking easy.

[Tyler]
Sara. Sara, look.

-[Sara] Oh my, look at--
-[Tyler] Yeah.

[both laugh quietly]

Jeez! Are you
fucking kidding me?

-After the day I had?
-Chris.

You're gonna pull
this shit on me?

[Tyler] Chris, get back
in the fucking car.
Chris, Chris, what the fuck?

Oh, fuck.

-[man screaming]
-[honking]

-[Chris] Go, go, go!
-I'm going!

Oh, my God.

Dude, that guy just
almost kicked your ass.

Dude, Chris.
Chris, are you okay?

[laughing]

[horn squeaks]

Fucking punks!

It doesn't matter who Gags is.

That's what everybody wants us
to be worried about.

But I tell you what,
Gags is just a distraction

from the real issues.

That's the problem
with what's going on

with the media right now,

is that they wanna
focus on these distractions,

these entertainments,
instead of talking

about the real issues.

Unit 1-12, 10-23 going in
for a closer look.

[dispatcher] Copy, 1-12.

All available units,
Green Bay Memorial Hospital

is in need of some
serious assistance.

Staff seems
overwhelmed, please advise.

[tense theme playing]

[male cop on radio] Um, we're
overwhelmed, what's
their excuse?

[dispatcher] They only have
two security guards

on duty right now.

[police radio chatter]

[Chrissy] Forced
entry on front door.

[dispatcher] Copy, 1-12.

10-90 currently in progress
at Gather Restaurant

on Broadway. Be informed--

[Chrissy] You sweep right,
I'll take the left.

[Jake] Copy that.

[tense theme playing]

[Jake] I got something here.

[ominous theme playing]

[metallic banging in distance]

[Chrissy] This is the
Green Bay Police Department!

If anyone is here, you need
to make yourself known!

[banging continues]

[Jake] Ah, goddamn it.

[Chrissy] This is the
Green Bay Police Department.

Raise your hand
and get down on your knees.

Sir, this is the police!

Put your hands in the air
and get down on your knees.

[Jake] Do what she says, man!

[Chrissy] Sir?

[Jake] You wanna do this
the easy way or the hard way?

[Chrissy] Sir,
this is the police.

[Jake] Jesus Christ.

[Chrissy] Drop your weapon...

-and get down on the ground now!
-Don't do it.

-Stop!
-I will not--

[gunshot]

-[Jake] Chrissy, you all right?
-[Chrissy] I'm fine.

[Jake] What the hell
is wrong with him?

[Chrissy] He's dead,
that's what's wrong with him.

Oh, what the hell was
he doing to himself?

[Jake] I've seen
a lot of things in my day,

but nothing like that.

[Chrissy] Unit 1-12.
Shots fired, suspect down.

Paramedics required
immediately.

[Jake] You gotta
be kidding me.

[ominous circus theme playing]

Fuck!

You said he was dead!

[Chrissy]
His vitals were gone.

-[Jake] Where are you going?
-[Chrissy] After him.

Meet me out front!

[Jake] Shit!

[tense theme playing]

You recording?

[Sara]
For the ninth time, yes.

Do something already.

Oh, ho, ho, impressive.

[Tyler] You guys!

I don't know why
I didn't think of this sooner.

-[Sara] What?
-Boom.

[Sara chuckles] No way,
they won't let us in.

Why not?
I mean, it's a carnival.

What better place
to mess with people

dressed in a clown
costume, right?

What's going on?

Dude, we're going
to the fairgrounds.

-Fuck yes.
-[laughs] Yeah...

[Sara] No, absolutely not.

Guys, we are not
going to the carnival.

-[both laughing]
-Okay.

[Sara] Guys!

Ugh, I hate my friends.

Hate 'em.

[turn blinker clicking]

What are you doing?

Going back to the station.

-Keep driving.
-Ron said we had to--

I don't care
what Ron says, this isn't over.

This isn't over?
You wanted this over.

No more Gags Watch,
you got your wish.

I don't understand why
this isn't a good thing.

This Wright guy.

Do you think he'll
find the clown?

Better yet,
do you think he'd shoot him?

I don't know, Heather.

He's an entertainer,
not a murderer.

I mean, you never can tell
with these wacko conservatives.

One second they're praying,

the next they're
lynching gay people

and blowing up abortion clinics.

-I think he would.
-Okay. And?

And that's
the fucking story, Dale.

No one gave a damn
about the clown.

He's standing around, people
are taking pictures, big deal.

Someone with the intent
of killing him,

that's
a one-in-a-million exclusive.

That's worldwide news.

Bec already got
the interview.

Gah, stop calling her Bec. Ugh.

She just interviewed the guy.

All right, let's find him.

Let's tail him,
wait and see what he does.

If it's nothing, it's nothing.

We go home and we deal
with Ron on Monday.

But if we catch this guy

in the act of killing,

or even threatening
someone with a gun

because they're
dressed like a clown,

both our careers skyrocket.

Ron said he wanted the van--

-Ron wanted a Gags exclusive.
-And it's my ass!

And we can still deliver that.

Please. Please, please, please.

Goddamn it, Duprey,
you're a bad influence.

Attaboy!

How you doing, folks?

Charles Wright of
the Wright Stuff Podcast

checking in with you.

We just caught wind
of a new photo

going viral, taken when?

[Wayne] 22 minutes ago,
Eastside Industrial Park.

Thank you, Wayne.

Now, scanner's been
poppin' off all night

with pranks
and copycats and what not.

But this photo looks legit

and the location
fits our guy's MO.

So we're gonna
head on over there,

we're gonna ditch the wheels
and continue on foot.

Stay tuned.
[clicks tongue]

I don't see him,
where the hell is he?

[Sara] I'm telling you,
he's gonna chicken out.

He's not gonna show.

I should have wore
the damn thing.

[gaming bell sounds]

-[Sara] Heh, he did it.
-[Tyler] Where?

-He's right over there. He--
-Where do you see him?

Where?

[Sara] I-- I just saw him.

[Tyler] Look,
I don't see shit, okay?

[Sara] Wait, huh?
Did that really just happen?

Hey. What are
we looking at?

[Sara] Wait, weren't you
just over there?

-There?
-[Sara] Yeah, over there.

-No.
-Dude.

-Hey.
-What are you doing?

I'm eating cotton candy
at a carnival.

They wouldn't let me in
with the costume on, I'm sorry.

You jackass, man. I told you

to put the thing on
after you came in here.

I know. Sorry.

[Sara] So, what
are we gonna do,

we're just gonna go?

No.

We're gonna go ride the
Tilt-a-Whirl at least twice.

Yeah.

This dick shine here's
paying for me.

-[Sara] Seriously?
-Yeah, seriously.

This has to be related
to the parking ramp.

-No shit? I'll be damned.
-[police radio chatter]

Did you know they're
not actual bath salts?

That's just slang.

I had no idea.

Detective Perkins.
Officer Chrissy Renard here.

Have there been any developments
to the homicide investigation

of the Pine Street
parking ramp from
earlier this evening?

We've just had an
encounter with a suspect

who resembled a description
from that one eyewitness we had.

Can't help but think
they're connected.

Bath salts usually
contain the cathinone

methylenedexa-- Wow.

No wonder why
they just call them bath salts.

I can't pronounce
any of these words.

Okay, thank you.

This is bigger than we thought.

What do we got?

I guess the hospitals have
had a few patients tonight

who've had similar symptoms
as to what we just witnessed.

Self mutilation, disorientation,
hyperadrenal disorder.

So what is it,
some kind of virus?

No idea.

They've all disappeared.

[tense theme playing]

[people screaming]

Oh, my God.

I hate you so much!

If you were a semi-delusional

conservative podcast host
carrying a gun

looking for a clown,
where would you be?

Church?

[Wayne] Hey, yo, hold up,

the picture was
taken back there.

Right, that picture was
posted 30 minutes ago.

He already got what he wanted.

Somebody snapped
his picture, posted it online,

give him his attention fix.

He's long gone.
I'm interested in where he went.

[Wayne] Well, dude, come on,
let's just take a look, huh?

I'm telling you,
he's not there anymore,

you fucking idiot, let's go.

[Wayne] Hey, you better check
your tone with me, Charles.

I'm not one of your pansy
ass fanboys, you got me?

Okay. Here's why we're
not going down that way.

'Cause it'd be a waste of time.
Think about it.

He's always in one spot
and then poof, gone.

Now, a guy dressed like that,
he doesn't just disappear,

not with the attention he gets
and the people looking for him.

So I figure he's gotta
have a vehicle of some sort

or a mode of transportation,

so he can just jump in
and take off without any hassle.

So that's what we're
looking for, okay?

Remember, this is my show.

I'm driving this bitch.

You're just along for the ride.

[Wayne] Fucking asshole.

[Sara] You guys,
what are we doing?

They're about to close.

-That's what we're doing, look.
-[Sara] Really?

It's a black balloon.

You gotta get that
for the costume.

You totally do, you gotta go.
Go, go, go!

[Sara] But...

Look, this is a Gags
original black balloon.

You gotta get a photo,
you gotta get a photo.

-[Tyler] Totally on it.
-[Sara] You don't know that.

[Sara] There are thousands
of balloons here.

It could be anyone's.

Sara, can you
just be happy for once

-for me and my new balloon?
-[popping]

[Tyler and Sara laughing]

[Sara] What just happened?

Turn off the camera.

[ominous theme playing]

I said turn off
the fucking camera!

What'd I tell you?
Never the same place twice.

[Wayne] Wait,
let me get it on camera.

[Wayne]
Goddamn, that bastard's creepy.

Okay, go live.

-[Wayne] Now?
-No, next month.

[Wayne] All right,
give me a second.

Okay, we're live, go.

Boy, oh boy, folks.

Things are about
to get exciting.

I'm standing here at
the Eastside Industrial Park

just off of Quincy.

Guess who we just found.

[Wayne] Yeah,
we found him, boy.

[Charles]
Shh, of course we did.

Now, for all
you viewers at home...

[Wayne] 1900 viewers, Charlie.

...I swear to you on the Bible,

this is the real deal, folks.
This is not staged.

[Wayne]
2000 viewers and counting.

This is Charles Wright
with the Wright Stuff Podcast

coming to you live
from Green Bay, Wisconsin,

taking matters
into my own hands,

doing things the Wright way.

My city's clown problem
ends tonight. You ready?

[Wayne]
Hell yeah, let's do it.

[ominous theme playing]

Well, well, well...
if it isn't Gags the Clown.

Pretty popular these days,
aren't you?

Weren't too hard
to track down though,

if I may say so myself.

Listen, why don't you cut
the act and come over here?

We'll have a little
chat face to face.

No more balloons,
no more bullshit.

Look, man...

this clown shit stops now,
you hear me?

I'm not having it anymore.

My city
ain't having it anymore.

You had your fun,
got a bunch of people scared,

received
all kinds of attention,

but this stops now!

So why don't
you come on over here,

take off that fucking mask
and go the fuck home!

[Wayne] Hey, we got
2500 viewers, Charlie.

Hell, yeah.

I'm not gonna ask you again.

[Wayne] Draw it!

[Charles]
You really wanna do this?

Goddamn it!

[Wayne] Shoot him,
Charlie, shoot him!

This is your last chance!

[eerie circus music playing
over speakers]

-What the hell is that, Wayne?
-[Wayne] I-- I don't know.

Hey, where did he go?

He was right here,
did he just run off?

[Wayne] Come on, man,
you gotta find him!

Don't let him get away!

What the...?

Oh, man, come on!

You gotta be kidding me.

No, no, no, no.
This doesn't make
any fucking sense.

[Wayne] What's up?
He couldn't just disappear.

Where'd he go?

[train horn blaring in distance]

Where was
that music coming from?

[Wayne] I don't know.

We blew it.

[Wayne]
No man. You blew it.

[dispatcher]
Respond to the Vic Theatre.

Officer down, conscious,
status unknown.

Last check in
over 30 minutes.

Squad GPS still showing up.

[Chris coughing and retching]

[Tyler] What the fuck?!

-[people chattering]
-[man over P.A.]
Please collect all...

-[Sara] What was that? -...your personal belongings...

Chris just puked up a gallon
of Jaeger in the bathroom.

[Sara] But you guys
weren't drinking Jaeger.

Well, he clearly was.
He just blew chunks
all over the place.

I am posting this shit
right now.

[Sara] Oh. Oh, is he okay?

Do I look like his doctor?

[Sara] Tyler Zepnick,
world's best friend.

Whoa.

You don't look so good.

Puke and rally, boy.

[Sara] Are you sure
you're okay?

Do you want us
to take you home?

Hey, guys, guys,
check this out.

There's this guy,
this crazy dude.

He's been hunting
Gags all night

and apparently found him
and then totally chickened out.

[Sara] What do you mean,
hunting Gags?

-Who is he?
-I don't know.

-Charles Wright.
-[Sara] The podcast guy?

His video is everywhere.

[Charles on video]
This is Charles Wright...

-...Wright Stuff Podcast...
-[Wayne] You reading the
comments?

coming to you live
from Green Bay, Wisconsin.

-Takin' matters
into my own hands.
-It's not good.

They're calling you
a chump, you know that?

Just another coward
who's all talk.

They don't even think
you had the thing loaded.

I wasn't sure it was him.

[Wayne]
Oh, of course it was him.

-Well, I didn't
have a clean shot.
-[Wayne] Bullshit!

Look, I just can't
kill a guy, Wayne, okay?

You do understand that, right?

Could have been anybody
under that mask.

I mean, it could have
been an undercover cop

for all I know.

[Wayne]
An undercover cop, really?

You think it was a cop
who was dressed as the clown?

Just give me
a goddamn break already.

You know, here's
the bottom line.

You told your viewers,
your great amazing fans,

that you were gonna
find this clown

and put a stop to him

on a live video that already
has more than 5,000 views.

Wayne, I swear to God!

[Wayne] I swear to God, Charlie.

Whether you like it or not,
this is my show too.

And now because of
your little fuckup,

I look just as bad as you.

-Look, I deleted the video.
-Oh, come on...

It's been downloaded
and reposted hundreds
of times already.

Just read the
visitor comments, man,

the damage has been done.

I'm gonna make it right.

Get in the goddamn truck.

-[coughing]
-[hip-hop music
playing on radio]

[Tyler] Oh, no more
boomers for this guy.

You gave him shrooms?

We have to take him
to a hospital.

[Tyler] Okay,
and tell them what?

That our friend here
has been drinking

and consuming hallucinogenic
mushrooms all night?

Get real, Sara,
think about it.

I'm fine. Let's party.

[Tyler] Attaboy.

There's definitely
something wrong with him.

-We need to go to the hospital!
-[Tyler] Holy shit!

[Tyler]
Guys, check it out, look.

It's fucking Charles Wright.

Oh, great, let's you know,
stop for a chat,

maybe an autograph.

Can you focus on anything ever?

Read it.

[Wayne] Damn it. Now people
are just messing with you.

[tense theme playing]

Hey, what the hell
are you doing?

Piece of shit didn't
get the best of me.

Let's go.

[Tyler] I know exactly
where they're going.

You're gonna have to turn.
You're gonna turn right up here.

No, we need to get
Chris to the hospital.

[Tyler] Sara! This is my car.

So could you stop being
a drag for once in your life...

-...and turn the damn car?
-[Chris coughing]

-[Tyler] Turn now.
-No.

-Are you kidding me? Turn.
-No!

-[Tyler] Sara, turn
the fucking car right.
-Okay, okay fine, I'm turning.

-Tyler, let go!
-Jesus Christ.

We got one more prank.

Save the best one for last,
we'll fucking do it.

[tense theme playing]

[Wayne] You really
think this is Gags?

Who the hell else would it be?

[Wayne] Well, I don't know,
maybe somebody who watched

the video and then
started messing with you.

Hey, I just find it
hard to believe that

the clown would run off
to an industrial park

and then leave a trail of
balloons for us to find him.

Wayne, are you coming or what?

[Wayne] Well, maybe
I am and maybe I ain't!

[Charles] Fine.

Suit yourself, I don't need you.

[Wayne] Ah, I'm coming.
It's way too much fun

watching this Charles
Wright train derail.

[dispatcher]
Be advised, Charles Wright,

possible suspect on officer
down call in Vic Theatre.

Male white, mid 40s,
with a military haircut...

You see this?
It's him.

[Wayne] So now what,
fearless leader?

Go live.

-Oh, you want me to go live?
-Go to live.

[Wayne] All right, we're live.

This is Charles Wright.

I'm standing about a mile
or so as the crow flies

from our last encounter
with Gags the Clown.

And I want all of you
out there to know

this isn't over.

Sure, I was a little
lenient with the clown.

What can I say, I'm a nice guy.

But I assure you, he's not
gonna get strike three.

It's now or never.

Cut the live video.

[Wayne] Live video is cut.

Hey, wait. You're not
seriously going in there?

Come on.

[Wayne] Oh, man.

Shit.

[tense theme playing]

[coughs] Motherfucker,
they put cream in it.

I asked for black.

I specifically
said black coffee.

Oh, son of a bitch.

-Do you wanna go back?
-Yes, I would like to go back.

Then go back,
Jesus Christ, it's cream.

-Damn it.
-Just go run in
and get a-- Holy shit!

-What's going on?
-[Charles on video]
This is Charles Wright...

Charles Wright says
he's found Gags again.

He says he's at
an abandoned building

about a mile or so away
from the industrial park?

What's abandoned out there?

The old Larsen Green Mill.

-My old man used to work there.
-Let's go there.

All right, hold on,
I'm gonna swing back, I gotta
get this coffee switched.

-Dale, now!
-Okay, fine!

-Holy shit.
-Goddamn it.

[tense theme playing]

[Wayne] Oh, man,
what am I doing in here?

Ah, Jesus.

[Sara] This is ridiculous,
he can't even move.

[Tyler] Whatever.
You still got one left in you,

don't you, buddy?

Yeah, man.

[coughing]

[Sara] That's enough,
I'm taking him to the hospital.

[Tyler] Come on,
don't do anything stupid.

No, Tyler,
you don't be stupid.

What do you plan to achieve
here, what are you doing?

[Tyler] We're going to go
screw with those podcast guys.

Right, 'cause you want
Chris to dress like a clown

to go prank a guy
who wants to shoot a clown.

Just think about this
for a second, you moron!

[Tyler] Whatever!
Oh, come on, he's all show.

He's obviously carrying
around a fake gun.

He's just trying
to get stupid publicity

for his dumb show.

Think about it.

Fine, then you go do it.

You go be Gags.
But we're leaving.

[Tyler] Okay, fine.

Oh, but guess what?
You're gonna walk.

'Cause you aren't
gonna be taking my car.

Come on, let's
go to the hospital.

-You gotta get up.
-Sara...

I wanna stay with Tyler.

[Tyler] Oh, oh.
Dicks before chicks.

[Sara scoffs] You two
deserve each other.

[Tyler] Oh, oh,
right fine, whatever.

I got what I wanted
out of you anyways!

Another V-card
to add to the collection!

Screw you, Tyler.
[sobbing]

[Chris coughing]

Don't worry, buddy.

I got this.

[dispatcher]
Unit 1-12, respond

to a 419 Elizabeth Street.

Suspected vandalism with reports of suspicious behavior.

10-4, 1-12 in route.

-[siren sounding]
-[engine revving]

419 Elizabeth Street.

It's the old Larsen
Green Building.

When was the last
clown sighting?

Be more specific.

There was one
in the Fox River Trail,

one in the K.I. Center,
one off of Bayshore Drive,

one at the fairgrounds.

All within
the last two hours or so.

All locations on the East
Side close to the vicinity

on Elizabeth Street, correct?

Yeah, I guess.

All fairly close.

And the first Gags sighting
was under the Mason Bridge,

maybe a mile away?

Look at you,
doing police work.

[Heather] Holy shit, Dale.
First day?

[Dale] Changing
to an empty card.

You said that
you just wanted me recording.

Gotta have space.

Okay, we're good.

And...rolling.

I'm standing outside
of the old Larsen Green Mill

on the East Side of Green Bay,

a building that stood empty
for the last 15 years.

But tonight its doors reopen

as local celebrity
Charles Wright,

host of the divisive
Wright Stuff Podcast,

enters the building on his hunt

for Gags the Clown.

Stay tuned
as we remain on location

as this developing
story unfolds.

For WGRB, I'm Heather Duprey.

[Dale] And got it.

How was that?

[Dale] It's not
your best work.

Go fuck yourself.

Come on, let's go.

[Dale] Wait,
we're going inside?

Yes, keep rolling.

[Dale] You really think
that's wise?

Dale, I'm gonna need you
to man up, okay?

Find your balls, find them,

or I will find them for you.

[Dale] I should probably
report that to HR.

But I'll let it slide.

-The mouth on this woman.
-[Heather] Okay...

Hold up.

[Heather sighs]

[laughs] Hey, MacGyver.

You really think
that's gonna work?

Where'd you learn to do that?

MacGyver. [scoffs]

[Dale] MacGyver.

[tense theme playing]

-[Wayne] Ah, shit!
-Easy over there.

Don't get your panties
in a bunch.

Hey, fuck you, man.

I've about had it with this
little exploration of yours.

You had your shot at Gags
and you blew it, remember that?

Big tough Marine
almost pissed himself

while staring down a clown?

You better fucking watch it.

Go ahead, push me to the edge,
see where it gets you.

[Wayne] Oh, yeah, right,
I'm pushing you to the edge.

You know what, man?

-Forget this shit, okay?
-Shut up.

-I'm gonna head back--
-Shut the fuck up!

[eerie circus theme playing
over speakers in distance]

Listen.

What the hell is that?

It's that same shit
we heard on the tracks.

Come on.

[Tyler] Ah, damn it, Chris.

I told you to stay by me.

Where the hell are you?

I should have
gone home with Sara.

Whoa, what the fuck?
Oh, no, no no.

That's a big fucking no.
No, no, no.

[dispatcher] 1-11,
what's your location?

[male cop] I just had
a goddamn balloon pop on me.

[Dale] It's been like
an hour and a half.

It's been five minutes.

Do you have
any sense of adventure?

[Dale] I have
a sense of not dying.

You're not gonna die.
Stop being a fucking pussy.

[Dale] Can you go five minutes
without calling me a pussy?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you
over the queefing.

[tense theme playing]

We're close.
There's something going on here.

-Just keep recording.
-[Wayne] Don't you worry.

I'm recording the whole thing.

[thudding]

[Wayne]
What the hell was that?

[Charles]
Anybody there?

[man in distance] Help!

[Tyler]
What the hell's going on here?

[Charles]
Hey, stop right there.

-You ain't
getting away this time!
-[man] Help, somebody help me!

-[man] Stop!
-[gunshot]

[eerie circus theme playing
over speakers in distance]

[Chrissy] Shots fired
at 419 Elizabeth Street,

requesting backup.

[Wayne] Holy shit.

You shot him.

[Charles]
He was...

[Charles] He was coming in.

[Wayne] I can't believe it,
you actually fucking shot him.

You just shot Gags the Clown.

Is he dead?

[Wayne] Man, he's deader
than a doornail.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, killer.

It's just like them terrorists
you blasted overseas,

it's no different.

I...

I never killed anyone ever.

[Wayne] Wait, wait.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I was a mechanic over there.

I fixed humvees.

I never saw combat.

[gun thumps on concrete]

[Wayne] Oh... Oh, look at you.

Aren't you the most pathetic
fucking coward I ever seen?

He was yelling for help.

-You did this.
-[Wayne] Me?

[Wayne] Hey, don't you
pin this on me, huh?

You're driving
this bitch, remember?

-[Charles] Mm-mmm.
-[Wayne] Your own words.

It's your fucking fault,
you did this.

[Wayne] I got you
on camera, Charles.

Video evidence of you
shooting the sumbitch.

-[Chrissy] Green Bay Police!
-[Wayne] Ah, fuck, five-o.

Hey, listen, you do what
you want, clown killer,

I'm out of here.

[Charles] Wait--

[Chrissy] Possible
functioning security system.

[Jake] The city still has
juice flowing to the building.

Last I heard they were
gonna turn this whole thing

into a luxury condominium.

[Chrissy] I got something.

[Jake] Shit!

Is that him?
Is that our clown?

[Chrissy] 1-12 here
at 419 Elizabeth Street.

I have subject down,
possible PNB,

requesting 10-33 traffic.

-[Jake] Anything?
-No, he's dead.

[Jake] Chrissy, wait.

-No.
-Damn.

[Jake] Just a kid.

It's Tyler Zepnick,
Sara's boyfriend.

[Jake] Ah, jeez.

[Chrissy]
Hey, sweetie, is Sara home?

Yeah, no, no, no, it's okay,
everything's fine.

Look, I have to go.

Split up.
I take north, you take south.

[Jake] We stay put
and wait for backup!

[Chrissy]
I'm not waiting 15 minutes!

[Jake] Chrissy!

Damn it.

[eerie circus theme playing
over speakers in distance]

[Dale] So instead of
running out of the building

at the sound of
creepy carnival music,

we're following it?

Oh, Jesus Christ, Dale,
why can't you just be happy

for the surprising developments
this story's presenting us, hmm?

Now, help me figure out
where this is coming from.

[Dale] I don't
feel like I'm wearing

the proper footwear here.

[Dale whispers] I can smell
the asbestos in here.

Oh, huh.

[Jake] Picked up on something.

Pursuing one,
possibly two suspects.

Whoa!

[Dale] Whoa, watch it.

I don't think you wanna
go walking through there.

It's coming from down here.

[Dale] Ah, I just kind of
saved your life back there.

Thank you would be nice.

Oh, please, I wasn't
gonna fall through.

[Wayne] These damn things.
More importantly, how do
I get out--

Hey buddy, can you tell me,
what's your name-- Oh, whoa!

What the hell happened to you?

The show is about to begin.

[Wayne stammers] You go ahead
and start the show without me,

okay, pal?
I'm getting the fu--

[panting]

[Chrissy] Come on,
Sara, pick up!

[eerie theme playing]

[Sara on speaker]
Hey, it's Sara.

Surprisingly, I don't
have my phone on me,

but you know what to do
and when to do it.

-[phone beeps]
-[Chrissy gasps]

It's coming from in here.

[Dale] Oh, dear God.

[Dale]
Ah, it's boarded shut.

I guess we can't go in there.

[panting]

Come help me.

[Dale] You're not
at all concerned

what's on the other end
of that door?

No, I'm not concerned.
I'm not a giant pussy.

What I am is intrigued,

intrigued at the possibility
that our clown friend

might be on the other side
of this door,

thus giving me
my fucking Gags exclusive.

Now, help me.

[sighing]

[grunting]

Just put--
Put it over there.

Jesus Christ, Dale.

[Dale] God.

[Heather] Oh!

Oh, shit.

Come on!

Fucking hell.

Get all of this on camera.

[Dale] You gotta be
kidding me.

Hey, Heather, wait.

Oh, shit!

This guy sure takes
his clown gig seriously.

[Dale] This is
beyond messed up.

Wait, we're going
closer to that thing?

This is him.

This is our guy, Dale.

[Dale] I thought
we wanted the gun guy!

Well, something tells me
he's not too far behind.

[Dale] You don't
find this at all weird?

No weirder than a clown
walking on the street

in the middle of the night?

Think about it, Dale.
This guy calls himself Gags.

This is a joke
to whoever's behind this.

This is all clearly part of it.

Come on.

[eerie circus theme
stops playing]

[Dale] Fuck me.

[Dale]
What's wrong with their faces?

Don't move.

[tense theme playing]

[Chrissy] Come on,
Sara, pick up.

-[crashing]
-[Chrissy] No!

-[thudding]
-Ugh!

[Sara on speaker]
What do you want, Chrissy?

[Chrissy whimpers in pain]

Look, I just got home.

So you can stop
pestering me now.

It worked, you got me
in trouble with Dad.

I get it, you're trying,

but you'll never be my mom.

[Sara sighs]

Goodbye, Chrissy.

[phone call beeps off]

[Jake] Police!

[Wayne] I don't know
why I'm running, man.

[Jake] Freeze!

[Wayne] You're
the fucking murderer.

[Jake] Stop running!

In pursuit of two suspects.

[Wayne] Ah, shit!

[Heather whispers]
Just keep shooting.

[Dale whispers]
Holy shit, that's him.
That's Charles Wright!

[Wayne] What the fuck
is this? I'm done.

I am so done with all this shit.

[police radio chatter]

[dispatcher] If located,
stop, hold and advise.

[Jake]
Green Bay Police, freeze!

[Heather gasps]

I need everyone to freeze
and get on the floor! Now!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Officer, you need
to arrest that man.

I saw him murder a man
tonight in cold blood.

Are you kidding me?

Hey, why don't I show piggy here

a little video I shot, huh?

Both of you are
gonna shut the hell up...

Show him how
you're an accomplice?

-...and get on the ground, now!
-An accomplice?

-You were there!
-Now!

You were egging me on!

The only thing
I'm an accomplice to

is your shitty
fucking podcast show!

Officer, this man
is useless white trash.

He's a horrible influence
and a rotten individual.

Hey, what the fuck
did you just call me?

[Jake] Drop it!

I am a United States Veteran.

I served our country.

I have two degrees--
I am of use to society.

He is an inbred
yokel shit for brain

and a fucking murderer!

-That's it.
-[gunfire]

[Heather gasps]

[Dale] Whoa, no!
No, no, no, no, nope!

-[Heather] Dale!
-[Dale] No, no, I am done.

-[Dale] I am out of here.
-[Heather] Are you
fucking serious?

[Jake] Hey, get back here!

Goddamn it!

-Shots fired,
two suspects down.
-[eerie circus music playing]

-Immediate backup required.
-[man over PA] Ladies and
gentlemen...

-...welcome to...
-Where the hell did
he come from?

[man continues
over PA indistinctly]

[Jake]
Green Bay Police!

[Jake] You, on the stage,
get down on the ground now!

[man continues
over PA indistinctly]

[Jake]
I am in some serious shit here.

[Jake speaking indistinctly]

[Jake] Sit down!

Sit the fuck back down!

I said everybody sit down!

I need backup. Over!

I said sit down!

[eerie circus theme
stops playing]

-[balloon pops]
-[Jake gasps]

[coughing]

Fuck!

[screaming]

[Heather screaming]

Make sure you get
the mill behind me.

Oh, and when I'm done,
if you could just do a--

[Heather screaming]

What the...?

[whispers]
Shoot this, shoot this.

Oh, fuck. Fuck me!

[eerie theme playing]

[Heather] Fuck!

[police sirens blaring
in distance]

[laughing]

[explosion]

[Cody] Holy shit!

Go live.

♪ There's a clown in town

♪ He's waiting around

♪ He's waiting around for you

♪ Yeah, there's
a clown downtown ♪

♪ He's hangin' around

♪ He's hangin' around for you

♪ He might make you laugh,
he might make you frown ♪

♪ It's only a gag

♪ It's holding you down

♪ Looking at me

♪ Am I looking at you,
my little ♪

♪ There's a clown in town

♪ He's scaring you now

♪ What if the joke's on you?

♪ There's a clown in town

♪ Don't make a sound

♪ Don't make a sound
or you're through ♪

♪ He might make you laugh,
he might make you frown ♪

♪ It's only a gag

♪ It's holding you down

♪ Looking at me

♪ Am I looking at you,
my little ♪

♪ My little clown

♪ I'll come downtown

♪ My little clown

♪ It's Gags the Clown

♪ It's Gags the Clown

♪ It's Gags the Clown

♪ It's Gags the Clown

♪ It's Gags the Clown

[eerie theme playing]