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1
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,500
Can we speak later?
2
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:19,291
Who are you with?
(HESITATING) I'm, uh...
I'm actually on a...
3
00:00:19,917 --> 00:00:20,959
Date.
4
00:00:22,291 --> 00:00:27,250
It's not just that
people don't like Pucks!
The dog show is killing us.
5
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,000
We had that
cock-sucking dog!
6
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,333
How did we
let it go?
7
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:33,166
You said, "If anyone
wants to pay for
that piece of shit,
8
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,041
"let them have it."
9
00:00:34,959 --> 00:00:36,208
Sounds like me.
10
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,500
Guess who
dropped by the boys'
school this afternoon.
11
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,792
I give up.
12
00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:42,083
How about
your fucking stalker!
13
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,125
Oh, shit.
14
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:47,041
If that fucking lunatic
comes near my kids again,
I swear to God...
15
00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,250
I came as soon as
I got your message.
16
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,667
I love you so much.
I know.
17
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,083
(WIND WHISTLING)
18
00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:11,667
(WIND HOWLING)
19
00:01:12,417 --> 00:01:14,166
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
20
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:40,208
(GUNSHOT)
21
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:01,208
(GROANS)
22
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,792
Ah, fuck.
23
00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:13,083
Does this smell bad?
24
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,792
Oh, yes.
25
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:17,166
Have you seen this?
No. Should I
throw it out?
26
00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:18,625
Yes, look.
27
00:02:18,917 --> 00:02:21,625
What am I looking at?
Nikke Finke.
Deadline Hollywood.
28
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:26,917
Top story, "Who Let
the Dog Out? Merc Lapidus."
Oh.
29
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:29,542
"It's no secret that
a certain talking canine
30
00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:32,583
"has become the
number one new comedy
of the television season.
31
00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:35,458
"But what's less well known
is that the ABC laffer
32
00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:38,208
"was originally developed
by a rival network..."
33
00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:39,291
Oh.
34
00:02:39,834 --> 00:02:42,583
"And it was network prexy
Merc Lapidus
35
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:45,667
"who not only had
the wisdom to pass
on the barking mega-hit,
36
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:47,709
"but then compounded
the bone-headed move
37
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,333
"by letting the project
be sold to a
rival network..."
38
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:54,542
"Inside sources tell me
that Lapidus can't be
long for the job,
39
00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:58,166
"especially
if you're counting
in dog years."
40
00:02:58,166 --> 00:03:00,291
MYRA: Oh.
(GROANS)
41
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,458
Morning.
Good morning.
42
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:16,208
(SMACKING)
43
00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:20,333
So.
44
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,625
So, so, so.
45
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:28,291
Sorry to disturb you
last night during
your, uh, date.
46
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,375
It's all right.
No worries.
47
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:36,667
Oh, good. Phew.
How was it?
The date.
48
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:42,000
Fine.
Ah, brilliant.
Good. Good.
49
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:46,917
Would you like to
talk about it?
50
00:03:46,917 --> 00:03:50,041
No. No. No!
51
00:03:50,542 --> 00:03:52,000
All right.
52
00:03:59,542 --> 00:04:01,417
Although...
I was wondering.
Yes?
53
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,875
Um, the date
was with...
54
00:04:07,375 --> 00:04:09,542
Rob. Morning's brother.
55
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:15,417
Ah-ha. Ah, keeping it
in the family. Smart. Good.
He seems nice.
56
00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:17,250
Mmm.
57
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:23,542
Where did you go
on the date?
58
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:27,709
Oh, just to this,
uh, neighborhood
tapas place.
59
00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:28,542
Tapas!
60
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,750
Tapas!
61
00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:35,458
Tapas, Spanish, little plates.
62
00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:40,208
Okay, speaking as
someone who knows
you fairly well,
63
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:45,542
I'm thinking you're
going to get weirder
before you get less weird.
64
00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:48,667
Uh, you may want
to step away.
65
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,041
Good idea.
Good idea.
66
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,792
Good call.
67
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,917
(CHUCKLES)
68
00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:58,625
Tapas!
69
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,750
Tapas!
70
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:16,417
(CHUCKLES) Anybody
read anything good
in the paper today?
71
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:19,667
(ALL LAUGHING)
72
00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:25,750
Yeah, laugh. FYI,
you all get buried
in the pyramid with me.
73
00:05:25,750 --> 00:05:27,417
(ALL LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
74
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:33,917
Okay. So, uh, we need you
to sign off on our
sweeps promos.
75
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,834
Also, we should review
the status of the
development slate.
76
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:40,667
Yeah, yeah. Before that.
I'd like to know,
where's our vampire show?
77
00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,208
Our... Our what?
78
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,750
Whoa, am I the only one
79
00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:45,959
who's noticed
that everybody's got
vampires but us?
80
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:47,917
Not just vampires.
81
00:05:47,917 --> 00:05:49,500
AMC's got
their fucking zombies.
82
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:51,542
And we've got what?
83
00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:54,500
Well, we've been trying
to stick to your mandate
84
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,291
to only do dramas
"ripped from
the headlines."
85
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,709
Not a lot of zombies
in the headlines.
86
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:01,208
(ALL LAUGHING)
87
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,166
But let us
get the word out.
88
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,166
We'll call some agents,
get some pitches in.
89
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,166
I don't have
time for that.
90
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,125
I'm gonna have
New York calling
any minute now,
91
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:10,667
and I need something
that says,
92
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:14,500
"Hey, forget that
talking dog shit storm
over there! Look over here!
93
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,667
"Werewolves!"
94
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,417
MTV's got werewolves.
95
00:06:17,417 --> 00:06:19,417
So not werewolves!
Help me here!
96
00:06:19,417 --> 00:06:23,333
Well, first of all,
we already have
some terrific projects
97
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,166
you can get them
excited about.
98
00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:26,667
Have you read
Beyond the Roses
yet?
99
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:28,625
What's Beyond the Roses?
100
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:30,625
It's on your desk.
It's that book.
101
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:34,208
(SCOFFS) A book?
We talked about it.
102
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:37,417
It's that bestseller
about the family
in the '60s.
103
00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:40,959
It's a beautifully
nuanced portrait...
104
00:06:40,959 --> 00:06:42,625
Oh, wow,
a nuanced portrait.
105
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:46,333
Look at HBO,
they're up the ass
with nuanced portraits.
106
00:06:46,709 --> 00:06:47,709
What are the
people watching?
107
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:51,375
Their fucking vampires!
Where are my vampires?
108
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:54,000
I want ideas,
and I want them now.
109
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,375
Go!
Uh...
110
00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:57,625
Something with mummies.
111
00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,041
Mummies? Too slow.
112
00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:00,417
Leprechauns?
113
00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:02,041
Yeah, nothing scarier
than a fucking rainbow.
114
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:03,583
(STAMMERS)
115
00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:07,625
Come back to me.
Oh, Jesus...
116
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:09,542
Dragons?
117
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:11,625
Goblins?
118
00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:13,291
Um, keep going...
119
00:07:13,291 --> 00:07:15,250
Shape shifters?
Lizard men?
Gypsies!
120
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,208
There's probably
a more constructive
way to...
121
00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,625
Ogres. Trolls.
Warlocks. Pixies!
122
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,959
Mutants?
Cyborgs?
123
00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,875
Succubi!
124
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:23,709
Succubi!
125
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:27,792
Huge rats.
ANDY: Harpies! Mermen!
126
00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:30,417
Gypsies!
Gypsies are real.
127
00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:32,875
I don't think so.
128
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,417
I, uh, I wanted
to apologize
for my behavior earlier.
129
00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:51,125
Oh... No need.
130
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:54,291
Mmm.
It's a very strange time
for both of us.
131
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,542
Still. I'm the one
who's been saying
132
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,709
there's no going back
for the two of us.
133
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:59,291
So you dating is
something I should have
seen coming.
134
00:08:00,417 --> 00:08:02,333
I'm sorry
I reacted so poorly.
135
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:05,625
It's as much
my fault as it is yours.
No, no, no.
136
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,500
No, I should have
warned you
before I went.
137
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:09,959
Right.
138
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,583
Yeah.
139
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:14,583
Or just turned your
phone off.
140
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:17,458
Absolutely.
Good advice
for next time.
141
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:24,500
What?
Nothing.
142
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,667
Funnily enough, um...
143
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,583
Doesn't "funnily" sound
like it shouldn't be a word?
144
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,667
(LAUGHING)
145
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:38,667
It's a word.
No, I know, I know.
146
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,834
But it sounds like
I just made it up.
"Funnily."
147
00:08:42,583 --> 00:08:44,500
Seems like it should
involve a funnel.
148
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,667
Anyway, funnily,
I hadn't really thought
about a "next time."
149
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,458
Is there... Is there
a next time in the offing?
150
00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:53,542
Well, funnily...
151
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:56,959
We're seeing each other
again tonight.
152
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:58,166
Tonight?
153
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:01,458
(LAUGHS) I hadn't
seen that coming.
154
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,750
Do you need to
step away again?
155
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,709
I think I do.
156
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,333
(SOBBING)
157
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,917
Oh, funnily...
158
00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,875
Hi, honey, it's Carol Rance.
159
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:19,458
Crazy, left field question.
Would JJ have any interest
160
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,583
in developing a show
about gargoyles?
161
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:23,750
(KNOCKING ON THE DOOR)
162
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,709
Elliot Salad on two.
163
00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:27,875
For me?
Uh-huh.
164
00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:30,667
Sweetie,
I'm so, so sorry,
165
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,875
I have to call you back.
It's New York.
166
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:39,166
Elliot. Hi. (CHUCKLES)
ELLIOT: Hello, pretty lady.
167
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,083
So how are things
in New York?
168
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,917
I saw you had almost
70 degrees.
169
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,458
And they say
there's no
global warming.
170
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,917
There's no global warming.
171
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:51,041
Thank you. It's ridiculous.
People, hello,
it's called weather.
172
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:52,667
So what's up?
173
00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,959
I actually just landed in L.A.
174
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,959
Oh. Wow. Welcome!
175
00:09:58,291 --> 00:10:01,625
I was wondering,
you think we could meet
for a drink tonight?
176
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,083
Yup, absolutely.
177
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,750
Let me just make sure
Merc's free.
178
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,375
But I can't imagine...
No.
179
00:10:06,917 --> 00:10:08,792
No, no Merc. Just you.
180
00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:12,250
Uh, sure. All right.
181
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:15,041
Is everything okay?
Couldn't be better.
182
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:19,083
Well, great. Great.
183
00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:21,917
Oh, and maybe
don't mention to him
that we're getting together.
184
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,625
Great.
185
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,291
Yeah, totally.
186
00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,166
See you, then. Bye.
187
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:31,333
(SHUDDERS)
188
00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,083
LABIA: It's open!
189
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,083
Oh, hi,
Facebook friend.
190
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,500
Hey, you.
191
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,625
Or should I say
ex-Facebook friend?
192
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,750
I miss your status.
193
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:58,625
Aw, that's sweet.
194
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,750
Um, if you'll just
excuse me for a moment.
195
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:05,917
A moment.
196
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:14,667
(PHONE BEEPING)
197
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,542
I need Security...
198
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,166
Wait!
Don't go in there!
Why not?
199
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:21,542
She's in there!
Uh... You know...
(EXCLAIMING)
200
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:22,834
Yeah, I know.
You know?
201
00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,166
She came in
with me today.
202
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:25,667
Never mind.
She came in with you?
203
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,083
Yeah. It's cool.
I'm guessing
it's many things.
204
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,208
Cool is probably
the one thing it's not.
205
00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:31,333
What's going on?
206
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:32,917
Apparently, it's Bring Your
Stalker to Work Day.
207
00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:35,333
What?
He's got Labia in there!
208
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:36,625
What?
209
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:38,875
Last night I got
really hammered...
210
00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:44,417
And I was feeling
kind of depressed,
so, I don't know,
211
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:45,834
I guess I called her.
You guess.
212
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,125
Why do you even
have her number?
213
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,208
From the last time
I called her?
214
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,959
Unbelievable.
I know. Even as
I was dialing,
215
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:52,125
I'm like, "Don't do this!
216
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:54,834
"You know it's
only gonna bite you
in the ass."
217
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:56,709
What?
She bit you in the ass?
218
00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:57,709
Little bit.
219
00:11:58,709 --> 00:12:02,458
Okay, fine, I get it.
You're not supposed to
screw your stalker.
220
00:12:02,709 --> 00:12:04,166
And you brought her
to work.
221
00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:06,041
Well, I'm not gonna
leave her alone
in my house.
222
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:08,125
Oh, of course not.
And where are you going
to put her next?
223
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:10,041
I don't know.
I'm open to suggestions.
224
00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:12,667
Well, if you put her
in your car, remember to
crack open a window.
225
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,917
A lot of stalkers
have died that way.
226
00:12:15,542 --> 00:12:16,667
Don't worry about it.
227
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,500
Have you thought this
through at all?
228
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,083
What about Diane?
Ah, shit.
229
00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:24,041
Diane...
230
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,125
Oh, please, please.
231
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:28,041
Please, may I be there
when you're trying to
explain this to her?
232
00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:30,750
"Darling, don't worry,
she's not
a maniac anymore.
233
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,250
"I fucked it
out of her."
234
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,417
Yeah, yeah.
I hear you.
235
00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:35,500
All right,
I got to get rid of her.
236
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,417
Well, that won't
be hard now.
237
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:37,792
Okay. It's fucked up.
238
00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:41,083
It's not fucked up.
You fucked it up.
239
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:44,667
Your shrink was right,
you really do have
an inability
240
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,583
to appreciate
the consequences
of your actions.
241
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:47,667
When did he
tell you that?
242
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,375
When he was
destroying our lives.
243
00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,917
Ah, yes. Good times.
244
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:57,083
Oh, my God.
I know.
245
00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,792
He really is the most
self-sabotaging person
I've ever met.
246
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:02,458
And we know some
pretty fucked up people.
247
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,625
It's like watching
a car wreck,
248
00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:05,792
only he's driving
both cars.
249
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,875
Somebody named
Rob called,
about tonight.
250
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,041
Uh, you can
tell me later.
251
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,250
How much later?
I was kind of hoping
to get out of here early.
252
00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:24,291
All right.
All right,
I can leave early?
253
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:25,750
Or all right
you want the message?
254
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:27,166
Just give me
the message and go.
255
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,583
Okay. He said to tell you,
256
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:33,000
"Same time as last night,
same restaurant."
257
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:36,542
Thank you.
258
00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,750
So, I can go?
Fine.
259
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:47,917
So...
260
00:13:50,458 --> 00:13:53,750
I think I may
take off as well.
261
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:58,166
How about you?
I, uh, I've got
some stuff to do.
262
00:13:58,166 --> 00:14:00,625
You know, emails,
get organized
for tomorrow.
263
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:04,375
All right. Well, um...
Have a nice evening.
264
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:05,667
You too...
265
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,125
I promise I will have
my phone off tonight.
266
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:10,709
And I will
not be calling.
267
00:14:10,709 --> 00:14:13,375
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Very good.
268
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:20,834
See you tomorrow.
Absolutely.
269
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,375
I have to ask.
Are you actually
270
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,417
typing something
or just pretending?
271
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:39,333
Pretending.
272
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:41,959
Right. Good night.
Night.
273
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:43,500
(STOPS TYPING)
274
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:54,750
Look.
We need to talk.
275
00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:59,000
No! I just got here!
276
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,000
Labia, listen to me.
277
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,125
I shouldn't have called you.
It was wrong.
278
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:07,208
No.
Yes.
279
00:15:07,208 --> 00:15:08,166
No.
Yes.
280
00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:11,834
This is over.
We're done. That's it.
281
00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:15,000
You really
have to go. Now.
282
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,792
Okay.
283
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,834
Yeah?
284
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:23,125
If that's what
you really want.
285
00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:25,375
I mean, really, really,
really, really.
286
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:26,959
It really is.
Really.
287
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,083
All right.
Then I'll go.
288
00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:33,250
Thank you.
But I'll always
be waiting.
289
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,750
Okay. Not like
in front of the house,
though, right?
290
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:39,750
Sometimes
in front of the house.
291
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,667
Great. Look, please
don't wait for me.
292
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:46,709
You deserve someone
who loves you.
293
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:48,500
(SCOFFS)
You do.
294
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000
They'll never be you.
295
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,083
That's not necessarily
a bad thing.
296
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:56,041
I don't care.
I'll wait as long
as I have to.
297
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:57,750
Even when
you're old.
298
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,709
Even when you're old
and you've lost all your hair
299
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,166
and you're not famous
anymore,
300
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:06,250
I'll still be waiting.
301
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:10,792
Even if you're just
an old, fat, former TV star
302
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,750
with no money
who nobody wants,
303
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:13,917
I'll want you.
304
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,250
If you get cancer and
305
00:16:16,250 --> 00:16:19,208
you lose control
of your bowels
and you smell bad
306
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:20,959
and no woman even
wants to look at you,
307
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,917
I'll be there for you.
308
00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:33,959
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
309
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:37,500
Hello.
BEVERLY: Hi.
310
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:40,625
Uh, I'm about to
leave for my date.
311
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,583
Okay, now you're keeping me
a little too plugged in.
312
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:44,959
I think we need to
strike a balance.
313
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:49,709
I just wanted to
tell you that
314
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:53,500
if you don't
want me to go,
315
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,792
I won't go.
316
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,333
Oh.
317
00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:02,166
However, I would want to know
why you don't want me to go.
318
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,125
If it's just
out of jealousy,
319
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:09,625
and you don't want
anything more
for the two of us,
320
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:13,500
then there's really
nothing in that for me.
321
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,792
On the other hand...
322
00:17:16,375 --> 00:17:19,166
If you think
we still have a chance,
323
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:23,166
and that's something
you want to work towards,
then say so,
324
00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:26,500
and I'll cancel this thing
in a heartbeat.
325
00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:35,583
Go.
326
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:42,834
All right.
327
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,750
Cool.
See you tomorrow.
328
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:47,333
(HANGS UP)
329
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,041
Right.
330
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,709
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
331
00:17:58,542 --> 00:17:59,583
(PHONE BEEPS)
332
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,250
I was hoping you'd call.
333
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:02,875
CAROL: Really?
334
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,500
Oh, sorry,
thought you were Sean.
335
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:09,291
Well, it's me.
And I'm freaking out.
336
00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:10,375
Why is that?
337
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,542
Okay, you cannot
tell anyone.
338
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,000
Anyone. Swear?
339
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:16,750
I swear.
Elliot Salad called.
340
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,458
He wants to meet me
for a drink. Without Merc.
341
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:24,625
Okay...
You have no idea
who Elliot Salad is.
342
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,834
None.
343
00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:28,250
How do you not know
Elliot Salad?
344
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,250
I feel like I've ordered
one at some point,
345
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:32,291
but if you're saying
it's the name
of a person...
346
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:36,750
Elliot Salad is the
head of the network.
He's Merc's boss.
347
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:40,000
He's my boss.
He's your boss.
348
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,583
(LAUGHING)
I have a boss
named Elliot Salad?
349
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,500
Oh, shit.
Here he comes.
350
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,208
How's he dressed?
What?
351
00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:53,166
Oh, come on.
Salad? Dressed?
352
00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:57,417
(SIGHS)
353
00:18:59,166 --> 00:19:00,250
Ah.
354
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,125
I'm just joining
the lady.
355
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:06,458
I'm sad.
I know.
356
00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:12,125
You have everything?
Yes.
357
00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,250
Got your sunglasses?
No.
358
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:16,583
Where are they?
In the bedroom.
359
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:19,125
You wanna
help me look?
No, no, no.
360
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,125
You wait here,
I'll go get them.
361
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,291
Do not move.
362
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:24,750
Okay.
363
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:32,875
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
364
00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:34,709
MATT: Don't answer that.
365
00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:46,333
LABIA: LeBlanc residence.
366
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,125
Is Matt there?
Who may I say
is calling?
367
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:53,125
Tell him it's Diane.
Oh, hi, Diane.
It's Labia.
368
00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:56,375
MATT: No!
369
00:19:58,125 --> 00:19:59,166
Fuck!
370
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:06,000
You don't have kids,
do you?
Not yet. Some day.
371
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Hey, don't rush
into it.
372
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,375
You don't know
what you're
going to end up with.
373
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,250
My oldest son
is bipolar.
374
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,166
Last summer he burned down
our East Hampton place.
375
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:18,083
My other one's
still got six months
in mandatory rehab.
376
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:21,834
My daughter and
two other girls are
married to this guy in Utah.
377
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,000
Jesus, you can't
catch a break.
378
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,542
I love 'em all.
379
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:27,583
Of course you do.
They're yours.
380
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,333
I still think I have a chance
with my youngest one.
381
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:33,750
Oh, she's a cutie.
382
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,166
No, that's my wife.
Oh. Uh...
383
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,625
It's fine.
Second marriage.
Good for me.
384
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:39,625
(CHUCKLES)
385
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:42,417
Here she is.
She's seven.
Aw.
386
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,291
And so smart.
387
00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:46,834
Guess what her favorite
TV show is.
388
00:20:47,583 --> 00:20:49,333
Pucks!?
No, seriously, guess.
389
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,333
Does it star a beagle
who won't shut up?
390
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,750
Yup. She adores that dog.
391
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,750
You developed that, right?
392
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:01,333
Well, not just me.
We really are a team.
393
00:21:01,333 --> 00:21:03,667
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you get to
meet the dog?
394
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:04,750
It's actually
five dogs.
395
00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,166
Ah, I hate hearing that.
396
00:21:07,542 --> 00:21:08,375
(SNAPS FINGERS)
397
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,834
Must've killed you
when Merc
didn't go with it.
398
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:14,917
You know,
everybody makes mistakes.
399
00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:17,375
Well, there's mistakes,
and then there's mistakes.
400
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:19,917
Shows like this
come once in a decade.
401
00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:21,667
It's like
lightning in a bottle.
402
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:25,875
I watch my daughter
watching it.
And she just laughs.
403
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:28,041
And she's got this
great little laugh.
404
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:29,917
Like a dolphin laugh,
you know.
405
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:31,500
(MIMICKING A DOLPHIN)
406
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:37,625
And I listen to her,
and she's just so into it
and so happy,
407
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,083
it makes me
want to grab a bat
and fucking kill someone.
408
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:44,291
Just smash them
and hurt them
and kill them.
409
00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:48,792
Maybe you shouldn't be around
when she watches it.
410
00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:51,583
And the next morning
when I look at
the numbers?
411
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:55,250
Jesus! I hate
Tuesday mornings now.
412
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:59,792
There's that dog
with his beautiful
double digits,
413
00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:02,583
and then I look over
at Pucks!
414
00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:05,083
What are we
paying LeBlanc?
415
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,417
I would pay that much
to watch the dog eat him.
416
00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:10,291
(SIGHS)
417
00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:16,792
Look, a day doesn't go by
that Merc doesn't
beat himself up about it.
418
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:20,458
But what can we do?
We've got to look forward.
419
00:22:20,458 --> 00:22:22,291
Well, he can stop
looking forward.
420
00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:26,500
What?
Decision's made.
Merc's out.
421
00:22:27,792 --> 00:22:29,000
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
422
00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:35,583
For some reason
this all feels
vaguely familiar.
423
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:38,000
Mmm. It's almost as if
we've been here before.
424
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:40,417
Only I'm not babbling
like an idiot.
425
00:22:40,417 --> 00:22:42,458
The night is young.
Believe me.
426
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,542
No!
Oh, God.
427
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:50,208
So, how was
your day?
428
00:22:50,208 --> 00:22:51,291
Uh-huh, no.
429
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:53,208
No?
No.
430
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:56,750
I promised myself,
tonight is about you.
431
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:57,750
Oh, wow.
432
00:22:58,208 --> 00:22:59,500
You don't want to talk
about house painting.
433
00:23:01,417 --> 00:23:03,041
Then we will
sit in silence.
434
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:06,709
All right,
tell you what.
435
00:23:06,959 --> 00:23:08,625
If you're
really interested,
436
00:23:09,709 --> 00:23:12,875
after dinner,
I'll show you
what I'm working on.
437
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:15,333
A house mid-paint.
438
00:23:16,125 --> 00:23:17,834
I'm intrigued.
Are you?
439
00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:19,875
Strangely, I am.
440
00:23:25,917 --> 00:23:30,208
I know it's not up to me,
but I really think you should
give him more time.
441
00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:32,875
Merc is a
strong executive.
442
00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:34,667
He can turn
this thing around.
443
00:23:34,667 --> 00:23:37,291
I appreciate
your loyalty...
It's not loyalty.
444
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,333
I truly believe
he can do it.
445
00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:42,792
Carol.
We've got a lot of
great shows in development.
446
00:23:42,792 --> 00:23:44,625
Honey. Stop.
447
00:23:45,750 --> 00:23:46,792
It's a done deal.
448
00:23:47,458 --> 00:23:49,125
The board voted.
He's out.
449
00:23:50,417 --> 00:23:51,583
Jesus.
450
00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,750
What about all the years
we were number one?
451
00:23:57,041 --> 00:23:58,625
Don't they count
for anything?
452
00:23:58,875 --> 00:23:59,917
They counted.
453
00:24:00,166 --> 00:24:01,000
When we were
number one.
454
00:24:01,667 --> 00:24:03,750
I know.
It's a ruthless business.
455
00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:08,208
Look, it happens
to all of us eventually.
456
00:24:09,625 --> 00:24:12,458
It's like
the circle of life.
Like Lion King.
457
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:15,834
You saw Lion King?
Mmm-hmm.
458
00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:18,291
Genius.
Those puppets...
459
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,250
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
460
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:23,458
When are you
going to tell him?
461
00:24:23,709 --> 00:24:27,166
I thought I'd wait
till after his
Man of the Year thing.
462
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,291
At least let him
have that.
463
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,458
That's nice.
Also that way,
464
00:24:30,458 --> 00:24:32,291
we can empty out his office
while he's there.
465
00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:39,000
So. We should talk
about the transition.
466
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:43,125
Can I ask?
Do you know who
you're going to go with?
467
00:24:43,625 --> 00:24:44,959
We've got
a very short list.
468
00:24:44,959 --> 00:24:46,000
Right.
469
00:24:46,625 --> 00:24:48,625
And your name's
at the top of it.
470
00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:57,625
(DOOR OPENING)
471
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,667
Okay.
472
00:25:03,834 --> 00:25:05,375
You see all that marble?
473
00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:09,125
That's me.
What do you mean it's you?
474
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:12,875
It's not marble.
It's all faux.
475
00:25:14,041 --> 00:25:15,291
Faux?
Mmm-hmm.
476
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:19,208
Oh, my God!
You painted all this?
477
00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:20,875
Well, me and my crew.
478
00:25:21,542 --> 00:25:24,375
You big, fat liar!
479
00:25:25,583 --> 00:25:27,458
"I paint houses."
480
00:25:28,083 --> 00:25:29,667
You're a bloody genius!
481
00:25:30,583 --> 00:25:31,792
Well, that's not true.
482
00:25:32,542 --> 00:25:35,000
(SCOFFS)
The hell it's not.
This is amazing!
483
00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,834
And this is actually
someone's house?
484
00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:41,667
Can you believe it?
No!
485
00:25:41,959 --> 00:25:43,250
Who's going to live here?
486
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:46,375
Oh, I don't know.
They don't even tell
me their names.
487
00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:50,166
My crew and
I just call them
The Bullshits.
488
00:25:50,166 --> 00:25:51,583
Todd and Holly Bullshit.
489
00:25:52,792 --> 00:25:56,291
So their children are
"The Little Shits"?
490
00:25:56,291 --> 00:25:58,000
Yes! That's them!
491
00:26:01,041 --> 00:26:04,166
All faux?
Mmm.
All faux.
492
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:10,542
You really
are amazingly talented.
493
00:26:10,542 --> 00:26:11,583
You do know that.
494
00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:14,458
I'm okay.
It's not art, art.
495
00:26:14,458 --> 00:26:17,667
Uh, I've seen
a lot of art, art.
496
00:26:18,542 --> 00:26:19,875
I'd be willing to bet
497
00:26:19,875 --> 00:26:22,291
that the paintings
The Bullshits hang
on these walls
498
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:25,875
will not be nearly
as good as what you're
doing underneath them.
499
00:26:26,917 --> 00:26:27,750
You're very sweet.
500
00:26:28,208 --> 00:26:29,875
Actually I'm not.
501
00:26:29,875 --> 00:26:32,208
You should speak
to some people
who know me.
502
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:34,709
No, I'm sticking
with sweet.
503
00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:54,709
Okay.
504
00:26:56,709 --> 00:26:59,291
You all right?
Yup, I am.
505
00:27:01,667 --> 00:27:04,542
That was lovely.
A little troubling.
506
00:27:05,417 --> 00:27:08,375
Troubling...
Because it was lovely.
507
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:09,792
Oh!
508
00:27:10,792 --> 00:27:14,125
What can I say?
I'm a mess.
You're allowed to be.
509
00:27:16,458 --> 00:27:18,333
See, you're the sweet one.
510
00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:24,250
When I came to this country
511
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:28,750
a few months ago,
I was happily married...
512
00:27:29,667 --> 00:27:32,959
I hadn't kissed another man
in 10 years.
513
00:27:32,959 --> 00:27:37,625
And I never had
a doubt as to
what I was feeling.
514
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:41,959
And now?
515
00:27:44,041 --> 00:27:45,583
Haven't a clue.
516
00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:49,792
But whatever it is,
517
00:27:50,667 --> 00:27:54,792
funnily,
it's definitely not
518
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:57,291
faux.
519
00:27:57,792 --> 00:27:58,834
Hmm.
520
00:28:03,417 --> 00:28:06,291
Oh, and now
we're doing it again.
36984
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