All language subtitles for The Goldbergs s07e12_English

ADULT ADAM: Ah,
the board games of the '80s.

Nothing bonded families faster

than a magical night
spent rolling dice

and trapping mice
with loved ones.

No one was more into it
than my mom.

Surprise!
It's game night!

(ALL GROAN)
That's right.

I blatantly lied
to your faces
to get you here.

So, I'm not getting
an all-expenses-paid

trip to Japan to have
my own samurai sword

forged from the iron
of Mount Fuji?

Not even a little bit.

So, pint-sized comedy
genius Emmanuel Lewis

isn't here to discuss
future projects?

You'll be
the only tiny wonder
in this house.

So, an A&R guy
didn't reach out

about a demo tape
I made last year?

You're a hit with me.
I ran here.

And my high school
sweetheart didn't call,
hoping to reconnect?

She did call,
but only to tell you
to stop calling.

I'll stop calling
when her nurse
stops picking up.

So, no pizza?
Phone's right there.

When will
this deceit end?

I just wanted one evening

where we're all together

in a focused
seven-hour window.

Seven hours?
That's almost
half a night's sleep.

And aren't you forgetting
we never actually play

'cause we can never agree
on a game?

While I do agree
we've had some setbacks...

POPS: Setbacks?
In a fit of rage,

Barry kicked
the Operation game

and needed
a real operation.

They sewed my toe back on,

and now I have
to think extra hard

when I want to wiggle it.

Despite Barry's
zombie toe,

we can still
have a good night.

Who wants to play Boggle?
BARRY: Pass.

I used the timer as salt
by mistake.

Here's an oldie
but a goodie.
Tiddlywinks.

"Tiddly-winks"?

Tell me more
about this arousing game.

Well, you use a big disc

to get a little disc
into a medium cup.

Oh, I've been
betrayed again.

Just call it "Disc-cup"
so I know it sucks!

The Game of Life?

I've already played it.

Turns out,
there are no winners.

You'll see.

I'm calling it.
TV wins.

You can't just leave.

I'm up already. Eh.

Me, too. I'm gonna use my
"get out of hell free" card.

Same.
Tiddlywinks?

This is all your fault.

On the bright side, Bevy,

we were all together
for a little while.

Three minutes.

Oy. Man, it dragged.

(SIGHS)
What do ya say, Bar?

How about a heady game
of Stratego with your mama?

That's so sweet you'd think
I'd do that with you.

Damn it!
All I wanted

was one special night
with my family!

Here's a healthy outlet
for your anger...

Flip the board.

Well, that doesn't sound
very healthy.

Do it... Or I will.

* I'm twisted up inside

* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say

* I don't know the future

* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *

ADULT ADAM:
It was January 22nd,
1980-something,

and for the first time
in my life,

science class was gonna
get interesting.

Okay, loyal students,

I want to tell you about
a great book I read on helium.

Couldn't put it down.
(CHUCKLES)

Was that a joke?

'Cause it went over
like a lead balloon.

Damn it. Have I been
learning stuff?

If that didn't make you laugh,
neither will this...

I'm assigning partners
for your midterm lab.

(STUDENTS GROAN)
Adam Goldberg, ah,

you're with Brea Bee.

I be with Brea-who?

ADULT ADAM: But I knew
exactly who she was.

Everyone did.
She was Brea Bee,

and she was
the coolest girl
in school.

What's up, Adam?
You know my name?

Uh, yeah.

We've been in school together
since kindergarten.

For sure.
The big K.

Followed by
"indergarten."

Kindergarten,
when you put it all together.

Which you already had.

But, moving on...

Brighton Beach Memoirs.

It's a coming-of-age comedy

about a boy
with a crazy family.

It checks a lot of boxes
for me.

I love Neil Simon.

Did you know Ferris Bueller's
in Biloxi Blues?

(STAMMERING)

Oh, my God.
Are you choking?

You not only know
who Neil Simon is,

but you reference
Matthew Broderick

by his iconic
character's name.

What's the problem?

The problem is
you're Brea Bee.

(CHUCKLING) Adam,
don't be ridiculous.

I'm just like
everyone else.

You're the most popular girl
in school.

That was just a unanimous
vote in the yearbook.

It means nothing.

Even your dismissal

of the high-school
social order is refreshing.

Come on.
We have a lab to do.

Of course.

How about I just do it all
and we'll share the credit?

Good?
Not good.

You take all the credit
and I'll do summer school.

No way, man.

We're doing this together.

Look, Adam, trust me,

once you get to know me,
you're gonna like me.

Challenge accepted.

(CHUCKLES)
Come on.

Everyone shut up.

I'm pretty sure
I've just been vibing
with... Brea Bee.

I heard you're not supposed
to tell crazy people
that they're crazy,

but you're crazy.

Yeah, that makes no sense.
You're wildly unappealing.

I'm having a hard time
believing it, too.

But there's something there.

We both like Neil Simon.

Everyone likes
Neil Simon.

He's the Brooklyn Bard.

He makes your people
folksy and relatable.

She's also a great person.

She can't be
nice and hot.

No one needs two ways
to get stuff.

In my experience,
kindness and beauty

do not go hand-in-hand.

He sees me.

You definitely read
the situation wrong.

There's no way Brea Bee
even knows your name.

Hey, Adam.
Hey, Brea.

Holy crap!

I know the guy
who knows Brea.

I find you
attractive now.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go share
my lunch hour with her.

Just like that?
It's one thing to vibe
over chem lab.

It's another thing entirely
to sit with the cool kids.

ADULT ADAM: Maybe,
but I didn't care.

After science class,
I was flying high.

I'm going in.

He can't just
walk over there.

ADULT ADAM: Why not?
Who was gonna stop me?

Hey, you lost, bro?

Yeah.
That's a no-go.

This is the cool table
and you're...

A flaming hot turd
of nothing.

(CRUNCH)

But Brea Bee
is my lab partner.

We don't make the rules.

I mean, we do.

And you could try to appeal,

but I'll bury you
in paperwork.

She's right there.

Just let me make eye contact,
and she'll wave me in.

Bro, stop trying to violate

the well-established
social hierarchy
of the cafeteria.

But I'm cool...

You know, in an offbeat,
non-traditional way

that'll surely have
more value in adulthood.

Yeah, I'm gonna dump this
dry salad on your head.

It's still embarrassing,
but it cleans up easy.

ADULT ADAM:
While the cool kids were
putting me in my place,

Geoff and Erica
were getting cozy in theirs.

Molly Ringwald really is
pretty in pink.

Redheads traditionally
can't pull off
a gentle blush,

but that's how great
an actress she is...

She has color range, too.

Can I tell you something?

I really like
living with you.

Aw. Me too.

You know, except for
the debilitating fear

of being found out
by our parents.

Yeah, I'm good with it.

What a fun
and contrary view
of the situation.

You know what else
could be fun...

We tell them?
Naw. This is easier.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

BEVERLY: Yoo-hoo!
It's your mama!

Code Bev!
Go, go, go!

ADULT ADAM: Yeah,
my mom had a habit

of dropping by the dorm
unannounced.

Luckily, Erica and Geoff
had gotten pretty good

at making it look like
Barry still lived there.

BEVERLY: Hey, I heard
a new song on the radio

by that man with the tushie...
Uh, Bert Springbean?

So, I went to Sam Goody,
got in a fight with a man
with a feather earring,

and raced here
with the cassingle.

There's my schmoopaloopa.

Where's your brother?
He's got to hear this.

Yeah, he's indisposed.

Hey, Barry, everything
going okay in there?

BARRY'S VOICE: (FROM KEYBOARD)
Hi, Mom, this isn't
a good time.

This is Barry.

But I haven't seen you
all week.

Open the door
and let me hold your hand
while you make poopalas.

Thanks for stopping by!
This is Barry.

Yeah, it's no bueno
in there.

Let me walk you to your car.

Uh-oh!
Barry did it again.

(LAUGHING) Oh!
There you go,
my big boy.

This is Barry.
I'm enjoying a shower.

What?
It doesn't sound like it.

Testing.

Erica, I don't think
this is working.

What a weird thing
to say.

It really is,
but he's obviously
going through a lot,

so let's not
pull threads.

Remind him
to wash his bottom.

ERICA: Absolutely not.

ERICA: What the hell, man?

You didn't have to get
in the shower.

I don't know!

ADULT ADAM: As Erica
and Geoff had a close call,

I needed some advice
on how to get close
to Brea Bee.

Pops, it's a dire
romantic emergency.

Why do you think
I hang out here all day
buttering up bagels?

Okay, I kind of
hit it off
with this girl,

but I think she might be
way too cool for me.

What do I do?
Just be yourself.

And?

No "and." That's it.

You never
let me down, Pops.

Pops let me down!

"Be yourself"?

You? Yourself?

Being it?

I know, Dave Kim.

She's one of
the chosen ones,

the beautiful elite,

the best kind of aloof.

They'll never accept...this.

You don't have to waft.
I know, Dave Kim!

You need to
get better advice.

I know, Dave Kim!

But who's cool enough
to guide you?

ADULT ADAM: Turns out,
there was someone...

Mr. Perott,
our new guidance counselor.

Yep, he wore a leather jacket
and was the epitome of cool.

I think I know,
Dave Kim.

Here's some advice...

Right after you graduate,
take a couple years

and bike
right across Africa.

See where this
mixed-up world
got started.

I can't hear a single word
you're saying

because I'm positive
you're gonna lop off
your thumb.

What's that?
This silly thing?

Haw! (EXHALES SHARPLY)

That was so
terrifyingly
masculine, sir.

Sure. So, what are
we thinking here?

College?

Trade school?
The Army?

You probably can't tell,
but I'm a...

Hardcore nerd?
Whoa!

You can't call me that.
I can.

Because I was one, too.

That's you?
You're so...

Scrawny, zitty, pasty?
Exactly.

How is this kid you?

Well, I got a haircut,
I slapped on
some acne cream,

and then I hit the gym.

But that's only part
of it, Adam.

I need to know.
Tell me everything.

Okay.

You're just gonna do it?
Why not?

I mean, I already told
three students

to bike across Africa
this morning.

I can phone it in
for the rest of the day.

So, we start
with your signature look.

For example, I always have
a pair of sunglasses on me,

just in case I need
to dramatically
toss them off

like this.

(SUNGLASSES THUD)

Your disregard for eyewear
makes me know
you mean business.

Next, ABCG...

Always Be Chewing Gum.

That way, you look both busy
and laid-back all at once.

Laid-back and busy.

I'll be like a CEO
from California.

Third... Make sure
you never give anyone
your full attention.

(SNAPS FINGERS)
I'm over here.

See how you got
a little confused there,

like there was something
more interesting behind you?
There wasn't.

I just made that up.

So rude and effective.

And finally,
whenever you're walking,

play a kick-ass jam
in your head.

Would the Ewok celebration
song Yub Nub work?

I've never heard it before,
but no.

* Whoa, Black Betty,
bam-ba-lam

* Whoa, Black Betty,
bam-ba-lam

* Black Betty had a child *

ADULT ADAM: And so
Mr. Perott took me
under his badass wing.

Meanwhile, Erica and Geoff
needed Barry's help

to get their plan to fly.

We need to talk...

Right after you tell us
what you're doing.

I'm just cutting up
various balls

to see what's inside
of them.

Biggest surprise?

Soccer ball... Nothing.

Is that my soccer ball?
I wouldn't know.

What brings you
to Barry's Xanadu?

You need to make
quality time with Mom.

She misses you too much.

Who can blame her?
I'm a delight.

No, idiot.

She keeps
showing up unexpectedly,
looking for you.

My nosebleeds are way up.

Ha! She's gonna find out
you're living in sin,

freak out,
and destroy your love.

Barry,
do you like it here?

I'm living with my bros
in this dope pad
with a solid 2.1 GPA.

I don't know how life
can get any better.

If your Mom busts us,
it's not only the end
of me living with Erica,

it's the end
of you living here, too.

Oh, no.

You shined a light
on the consequences,

and now I suddenly care.
What do we do?

We give Mom
what she wants the most.

Game night?
You know it, girl.

I even brought
Connect Four

so that we can
connect two.

Aww.
Okay, well, you guys
have family fun.

Bye.
Run, Geoff.

Oh, no, Geoffrey.
GEOFF: Wha...

You're not going anywhere.
Tonight's an all-play.

But I was just
dropping them off...
Shh, shh, shh.

Okay, I'm in
the hug now, so...
Game night.

Oh, I'm so excited,
I could (BLEEP) puke!

(LAUGHS)
I might, too.

ADULT ADAM:
Mr. Perott had taught me
his tricks for being cool,

and now I was ready
to take his advice
out for a test drive.

Put this
somewhere safe, Doc.

What an incredibly
informal way
to talk to an adult,

but I'm on it.

You can't
make us move.

We're allowed
to sit here.

Wait. Adam?

In the flesh... And leather.

Me likey.
I get it.

His unearned confidence
and sunglasses
make him desirable.

That's exactly what
I'm going for, Dave Kim.

Dude, you should
go talk to Brea.

Already on my way,
muchacho.

He casually threw in
Spanish.

ADULT ADAM:
Perott's advice was working.
I was crushing it.

And this time,
there really was nothing
that would stop me

from lunching it up
with Brea Bee.

Whoa. Goldnerd,
is that you?

Make a hole.

For some reason,
my body's obliging
your wishes.

(SUNGLASSES THUD)

Disposable shades
and a leather jacket?

What kind of a budget
is this guy working with?

ADULT ADAM: Success!
Time to put Perott's tips
into overdrive.

Adam.

Oh, hey, Brea.
Didn't see you there.

You look different.

Are you in the
spring production
of West Side Story?

No, these are my new
everyday threads.

Ooh. My God.
That's a lot of gum.

(MUFFLED) Thank you.
What?

No, it's actually fine.

Sorry, I can't
understand you.

It's kind of cool, huh?

Also,
you're drooling a little.

(SPITS)
(CHUCKLES)

(NORMAL VOICE)
I'm enjoying this, uh,
give-and-take, you know?

Are you looking at me,
or is there someone
behind me?

I'm not
not looking at you.

It's still happening.

So...whatcha doing later?

I don't know.
Hanging with the crew.

Do you wanna join?
What's the plan?

Plan is we pick you up
at night.

That's not really a time.

Doing what exactly?
Stuff.

Well, then I'll be there,
whenever that is,
at some point.

Ta.

Brea just invited me to hang.
We have loose plans.

Loose plans?

It really is
a different world.

ADULT ADAM: As my
newfound coolness
was paying off,

Goldberg game night
was officially on.

BEVERLY: Guess who?

I'll give you a hint...
I'm a beautiful blonde

with delicious eyes
and a hint of spunk.

Daryl Hannah!
It's me, your mama.

So, let me show you
our other games
for the evening.

Bed Bugs!

Mall Madness.

Smurf Ahoy!

Pig Pong.

Don't Spill the Beans.

Crackers In My Bed.

Girl Talk.

Pizza Party!
Pizza Party!

And Mouse Trap.

What about you, Geoff?
Are you ready to get trapped?

Trapped? Why?
'Cause I'm lying?
Is it hot in here?

Mr. G, did you turn
the heat on?

In January?
Not a chance!

Okay.
Uh, where's the bathroom?

What are you
talking about, Geoff?

You know where
the bathroom is.

I don't know anything.
Maybe you remodeled.
Stop questioning me!

Why don't I show you?

Dude,
pull it together.

I can't. I'm afraid
at any moment,

I'll blurt out
we're living together.

Just relax.

By the time we get back,
this all will have
fallen apart.

The Goldbergs have
never even been able
to choose a game.

(GASPS)

(SINGSONG VOICE)
We're playing Family Feud!

Oh, they chose.
No way.

Dad, you're good with this?

Survey says... Hoo-hoo!

So fun. Let's start a feud
with your family, Erica.

(NORMAL VOICE) Oh, we don't
feud against ourselves.

(DOORBELL RINGS)
Then who?

Tell me who.

Please welcome
the Schwartz family.

Lou and Linda,
come on down.

Mom? Dad?
Hi, sweetie.

We brought carrots!
Whoo!

Bathroom again!

I can't lie to my parents.

Just focus on the game
and say nothing else.

I'll try.
(TOILET FLUSHES)

Why did you do that?

It'd be weirder
if I didn't.

(TOILET FLUSHES)
That one's for you.

Okay,
hands on buzzers.

Name something
you put on your pizza.

(BELL DINGS)
We're living together.
I mean, pepperoni!

What was that?
He said pepperoni!
Show me pepperoni!

Ding, ding, ding!
Geoff, you have control.

Doesn't feel like I do!
And bathroom?

ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff crumbled,

I was ready for a cool night
of loose plans.

Hey, gang.
Thanks for showing up.

I totally haven't been
ready and waiting
outside since 5:00.

Why are you wearing
shades at night?

Did you just get
your pupils dilated?

I just have a blatant
disregard for social norms.

Like Bono
or Anna Wintour.

Badass.

So, any idea
what we're doing tonight?

Let's say we play
some baseball.

I'm not a big
baseball guy.

I'm more into
contact sports,

like hot potato
or red rover.

Don't you worry.

There's gonna be plenty
of contact.

Yeah!

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God!
What did you just do?

My man just hit a home run
in mailbox baseball!

It's just like real baseball,
except it's vandalism.

Bro, you're up.

Oh, no, thank you.

But you're hitting
cleanup.

Meaning you pull over
and we clean up
the mess you made?

Meaning you're making
a bigger mess

with this bat
I'm handing you.

ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
I had a choice...

Show Brea I could hang
with the crew
or do the right thing.

Hi-ya!

Oh!
Oh!

Holy crap!

I did neither.

I missed it.
My brother's Buick!

Oh!

And his bat?
Not cool, man!

(BRAKES SCREECH)

You know what else
isn't cool?

This. Gah.

I'm a fool to have wanted
to be accepted by you

so I could charm a girl
who's way out of my league.

Jodie Foster?
Brea.

Adam,
you did all this for me?

You're so popular
and pretty,

and for a moment,
I guess I thought
we had a connection.

I didn't know that.
Now you do.

Sorry about the mirror.

I'd appreciate
if we didn't go through
insurance to fix it.

As everything
with Brea fell apart,

Geoff and Erica were
still holding it together.

Thank God it's over.

And yet it's not,
young Geoffrey.

With tonight's success,

Mom will surely want to
do this again every week.

But I'll crumble
under the weight of our
thousands of lies!

It'll be fine.
We'll do whatever it takes
to keep our secret.

What secret?
That you guys
are living together?

Oh, no. She knows.

Erica, she knows.

I know she knows.
How do you know?

I suspected,

and also
Geoff blurted it out
three times tonight.

It's true!
We're living together!

Why do I keep saying it?
Pepperoni!

Before you get upset...
Before? I'm furious!

You have no right to be.

We're both adults
who can make
our own decisions.

If you were adults,
I wouldn't have had
to find out this way.

Mom...
Don't.

I'm not happy that you guys
are living together,

but you know what breaks
my heart more than anything?

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Is how far you went
to hide this from me.

And I'm living
with the JTP,

which is a relatively
minor betrayal

in light of Erica's
shocking news.

ADULT ADAM:
After striking out
with Brea Bee,

all that was left to do
was clean up.

Mr. Perott,
what are you doing here?

Well, I have a police scanner,
and I heard there was trouble.

You all right, kid?
Not even a little.

Well, hop on.
I'll give you a ride home.

Or maybe you want
to split a cab?

Nah. Motorcycles
are super safe.

Here.

I've already made a bunch
of terrible decisions today.

I might as well
just...continue.

Just please drive slow!

(ENGINE REVS)

So, what's eating atcha?

So, we're just gonna talk
about this now,

like this isn't
terrifying?

Car, car, car!

Ah, it's parked.
Come on. Spill.

I guess it all started...
(GASPS)

Oh, no, it's a curve!

Do I lean with you
or away from you?

Oh-aah!

I'm so scared!

All right. It's gonna be
straight for a while.

This is your chance.
Fine.

I'll try to get it out
before we die.

There's an amazing girl,

and my grandfather
gave me stupid advice,
so I went to you,

and you told me to be cool,
and it worked,

but then I committed
a postal crime,
and I hate myself.

(INSECT BUZZES)
I got some good news
for you, buddy.

You're not cool.

That's not good news,
and I just ate a bug.

Look, I know
I may seem cool,

but I'm an unmarried
48-year-old

with a crap ton
of student debt,

and I got dental issues
from chewing gum all day.

What are you saying?

Being cool is different
from being happy.

That comes from feeling good
on the inside.

And as far
as I'm concerned,

the old nerdy Adam Goldberg
has plenty to feel good about.

Wait.

Now you're telling me
to just be myself?

Yeah. Sounds good.

You should do that.

I can't believe it.

Pops was right all along.

Yellow light!
Yellow light!

We got this!
(ADAM SCREAMS)

ADULT ADAM: As Mr. Perott
finally guided me
in the right direction,

my mom was left
feeling betrayed.

Living together, Murray.
I get it.

Li-ving to-ge-ther!

Now I really get it.

Okay, here's what's
gonna happen.

Barry and Erica
are gonna move back here.

We're gonna home-college them

and occasionally let them
into the backyard

for vitamin D
and free play.

I think everything's
gonna be okay.

You're okay
with your sweet
little peanut

shacking up with
that walking menace
Geoff Schwartz?

Menace? They already spent
the summer in a van

half the size
of a dorm room.

That's beside the point.

She loves him,
he loves her.

I don't like anybody,
and I like him!

Well, he is sweet and smart
and would do anything for her.

And I've never seen her
this happy.

I guess.

I know.

For someone
who worries so much
about failing as a mother,

I'd take this as a win.

ADULT ADAM: It's crazy
how, no matter where
we are in our lives,

we still struggle
to do what's right.

Brea?

Listen, um...

I just wanted to say
that I'm really sorry.

Sorry?
But I ruined your night.

Are you kidding?

I hate it when those guys
do that stuff.

I never say anything.

It's cool that you did.

'Cause we both know
there's no one cooler than me.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

So, can I sit?

Uh, let me
think about it... Yes.

* When I'm with you...

ADULT ADAM: Turns out,
we all need a little
guidance sometimes.

You just have to know
where to look for it,

and then it'll all make sense.

* You are the sun

What's this for?

For everything you do.

Thanks.

No thanks needed.

But I'll take it.

ADULT ADAM: Everyone
bends the rules a little bit,

but that's what
makes life exciting.

What's all this?

It's fine, Mom.

Everything's gonna go back
to the way it was.

Stop. No one needs
to move anywhere.

Barry wins
and doesn't need
to know more.

Yes!

Good luck.

So, you're just good
with all this?

No. (CHUCKLES)

But I'm trying to be

because the truth is,
you and Geoff
belong together.

Holy crap.
Really?

Yeah.

But you...have to understand
how hard this is for me.

When I first met you,

you were a perfect,
barely-seven-pound
little being.

You relied on me
for everything,

and now you're
a grown woman,

and making
all your own choices,

and I am just trying
to be okay with that.

I get it.

And I promise
to be more honest
with you from now on.

Maybe we can talk about it
at our next game night.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)
I would love that.

* You are the sun

* You are the rain

ADULT ADAM: In the end,
we all make choices every day

that feel like
a roll of the dice,

and that can be scary,

but also exciting.

One thing's for sure, though,

if you're playing
the crazy game of life

with the people you love,

everyone's a winner.

* You are the sun,
you are... *

Now we have
our first commercial
in store for you.

* Be a winner
at The Game of Life

* Be a winner
of The Game of Life

* Get married
* Get married

* Have a baby

* Have a baby *
(LAUGHS)

JTP residence.
Go for Big Tasty.

BARRY'S VOICE: It's Barry.

No, I'm Barry.

This is definitely Barry.

No, I'm Barry.

This is still Barry.

No. I'm Barry.

Uh-oh! Barry did it again.

What did I do?

I'm Barry.
I'm enjoying a shower.

No, I'm not.

Wait. Are you my evil twin?

Listen, we can work together.

Thanks for stopping by!

Hold on... Erica?

Miss you! Bye!
(SLAMS RECEIVER)