All language subtitles for Little.Coincidences.S02E11_Engish

It won't be perfect.

And we'll have to work at it
every day,

but I want to be with you...

and not just today
or next week,

but...

forever.

Foreve...? Foreve...?

Stop this shit, David!
This film is ridiculous!

Stop.

Why don't we do it
like Noah in 'The Notebook'?

Who is Noah, your ex?

I wish. No. I'm sure my ex
would think Noah is a right wimp.

'The Notebook',
the most romantic film ever made.

Don't you like romantic films?

All romantic films end
in a death or a kiss.

'Titanic', death.

'Pretty Woman', kiss.
'The Notebook', death.

'Bridget Jones', kiss.

'Bridget Jones II', kiss.

'Bridget Jones III', kiss.

What do you think you're doing?
So much talk about kissing...

Aren't you listening to what I'm
saying?

I don't want the kiss.

I prefer death,
to out in style.

What happens after the kiss?

That's...what they don't tell you,
hey?

They reach the best part and
bingo.

The best part usually comes
after the kiss.

Stop trying to kiss me,
numbnuts!

We need proof that
this relationship is real

for the Immigration guys.

How you met,
what made you fall in love,

and when he asked you to marry him.

When they ask me I'll,
just make it up.

Javier, you're not a romantic.

If you make it up,
it won't look good.

How do you know if I'm romantic?

Close you eyes.

-Eh?
-Close you eyes.

What?

What colour are my eyes?

No, you musn't look.

Okay, okay.

Oh... I don't know! Who cares
what colour his mate's eyes are!

Fair enough.

What colour are Claudia's?

Er, well... kind of greenish.

Right, green...

tending to black.

See what I mean?

Closing your eyes is the crucial
moment of the love scene.

It's the code, Javier.

And you don't have the code.

What code are you talking...?

Okay, right, that's it.

We'll carry on with numbnuts
Noah's soppy notebook...

Okay! Action!

Listen, a relationship

is like a bottle of wine.

You take out the cork, you're
dying to taste it,

to savour it and then...
It's gone...

and nobody wants a hangover.

Therein lies the trap,

because after the kiss,
there's always the hangover.

Marta!

Wow! But...

What a coincidence!

I can't believe it.

Just what I needed.
Are you stalking me?

What? What are you talking about?
Stalking you?

No, no, no. What are you on about?

No. I...
I come here a lot.

The owner is a friend of mine.

What's the name of the restaurant?

Um... it's called
Marta's Tavern.

Ana. Juana.

Okay, yes, I was following you.

And so? It's not a crime.

-Yes, it is a crime. It's stalking.
-Okay, very...

Okay fine, yes, yes.

It's a crime, okay, yes. So what?

I'm not doing anything wrong, hey?

Oh, it's a medical emergency.

-What medical emergency?
-This one. I am a doctor and...

I needed to see you urgently.

Hear me out, please!
Marta, I've left my wife.

Well, I let her
leave me,

but I did it for you.

I've changed.
I'm on a healthy diet.

I've started to paint.

I'm doing ballroom dancing classes.

I've changed.

Yes, into an old git.
Congratuations.

I'd give it all up for you.

Don't want you to give up anything!
I want you to leave me alone!

All of this
is your fault.

No, no, stop.

This isn't believable at all.

It's a photo album
of a love story,

but, if there is no love,
it's not believable.

It's supposed to be a romantic
photo on the beach.

What isn't believable is that
a photo will make

all this look like a beach.

Rafa is a wizard
with Photoshop.

It'll look perfect.

All the sand and so on;

the pool will look like
Copacabana.

David, do you trust this idiot?

Normally, no.

But he is a dab hand
at this photography business...

If I was your therapist, I'd say

that it's very easy to blame
others for your own actions.

But, as I'm not your therapist,

you can throw anything at me.
Anything you want.

Sorry.

-I'm sorry.
-Don't worry. It's...

I'm used to it.

You can't imagine the number of
pregnant women who've puked on me.

Did you say 'pregnant'?

Yes, you know...

pregnant women... throw up a lot.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Can we continue? I'm getting cold.

Yes, let's get on with it.

Hey... Claudia, you stay there
and you,

Javi, put yourself on the towel,
okay?

Show a little bit of love, hey?

And drop the book,
make it look real.

I always read on the beach.
That's realistic.

If we have to be realistic,
I always go topless on the beach.

So I'll strip off.

No, no, no! Are you mad! No!

How can you show them off
in front of these guys?

Don't worry about me.
I'm a professional.

It's a good idea.

That way the inspector will
only be looking at her.

Could you just try and do
something to make it look real?

I can't do everything!
I can't do everything!

Rafa, when you do the
Copacabana Photoshop bit,

-will there be people swimming?
-If you want. Why?

-To make it more realistic.
-No, no, no!

No, no, no, no! No!

Nacho. You have to stop this.

The Uber thing is just a stop-gap.

No, no, no, not that, this.
This is what you have to stop.

You requested it
using the app.

All the hire cars in
Madrid

and you chose mine.
Then you sit.

in the passenger seat
as if you were my partner.

-Theses are all signs.
-Yes.

Signs that you have been going
round and round my street in a

loop for the last three weeks.

And everytime I ask for a car,
yours shows up.

Maybe,
you're obsessed with me

and when you see another photo,
you imagine it's my face.

Look, this has to stop or
I'm liable to do something stupid.

What kind of stupid?

Like taking the metro
to the airport.

Have you seen my dad again?

Why do you care?

You are my ex, he's my dad.

If I wasn't bothered,
I'd have to be a psychopath.

Me and your father are history.

Nacho, I'm sorry about
all that happened,

but, when I met him, I didn't know
he was your father and afterwards...

it was impossible to see him as your
father.

That's it. I only wanted to see
you to see how I felt.

And how do you feel?

Like it's over.

That this has been a disaster
for the three of us and that's all.

The four of us.
Don't forget your wife.

Yeah, yeah.

By the three us, I meant
my father, Míriam and me.

I wasn't counting you,
you're not family...

and you never will be.

What are you doing?

You have to take me to the airport.
I used the app.

Joaquín, this isn't working.

I can't feel any sexual tension.

But we're in a park.

It takes time to get to know
someone. Yeah.

They're not going to...

Are you talking about the dogs?

Of course.

-I wasn't...
-Silly boy!

-I was meaning the dogs too.
-Oh.

You're right.

In the park they feel shy.

And if we take them to a more
private spot...

Do you mean we should go
to my place or yours?

Or to a hotel.
It'll be more exciting.

-For who?
-The bitch.

And the male?
I don't know about the male.

Maybe, his collar is too
tight and...

Do you think we should let
him off his lead?

I don't know.

But remember, perhaps,
if you let him off the lead...

...he'll run away.

There must be a way to stop him,

because I'm convinced that the
bitch loves to be tied up.

Let's see, Amparo,

I know it's not normal
for a dog to

resist so much when he meets a
dog in heat.

But you have to realize

that he's been
muzzled for a long time and...

Doesn't know how to wag his tail
anymore?

Excuse me?

We're still talking about
the dogs right?

-Of course.
-Otherwise,

you'd have gone a bit too far with
the 'in heat' business. I am a lady.

To be or not to be?

Or in my case, am I or aren't I.

Do you mind giving me
a little privacy?

Of all the crazy things I have had
to put up with since we met,

this is the one that affects
me more than you.

Does that face mean no?

Are those little lines...

me?

Isn't a bit strange
that you're still there

instead of here?

Maybe it's because I want to
know who my father is.

So I don't get a big surprise
when I pop out.

The important thing is that I know.

But do you know whose I am or not?

Of course I know.

So is my dad Javi...
or the Mexican?

-What do you think?
-I don't know.

And the odd thing is, it's the first
time I don't know what do you think.

Well, you'd better get used to it.

Do you mean to say that when I'm,
born I won't know your thoughts?

No, and you'll never know what
any girl is thinking ever.

What would Marta think if she saw
all this?

I don't even know what I think.

She should think that it's
a marriage of convenience.

It's not very convenient for you if
you want Marta to forgive you.

She doesn't have to forgive me.

And I should be the one thinking
about if I should forgive her.

And what is your plan to have me?

Maybe I don't want to have you.

You do want to have me
and you want to forgive Marta.

Otherwise I wouldn't be here and
we wouldn't be speaking about her.

Get it into your head!
I no longer wish to have kids!

Hey... I was rehearsing

in case the inspector
asks tomorrow.

Great, but if
he asks something,

you don't need to scream
into his face.

So,

You don't want to
have kids with me?

-Excuse me?
-I'm asking because of the inspector,

in case he asks;
just rehearsing the answer.

It's difficult to know
what a girl thinks,

but I can see right through
this little minx, dad.

We can't let you go to Mexico.

I called Marta
and she's coming straight over.

Hey!

Just as well! I don't know how many
more slaps I can take.

Dad, you're not going to Mexico.

I'm trying to get your
mum back!

And to get rid of this collar.

What collar?

I'm not giving up and neither
should you with Javi.

What's that got to do with it?
You're fooling yourself about mum,

and I have no other choice.
Javi's getting married.

Well, he's getting married
because you're letting him.

Ouch!

You really do ask for it son.

Mum has had twenty years to come
back and she hasn't, has she dad?

And Javi took 20 days
to replace me.

It would make more sense
if I went to Mexico.

-And moreover, Amparo is here.
-And who is Amparo?

C'mon, c'mon. You have to tell
me everything.

Does she fancy you?

Dad is playing the hard man.

Amparo is up for it, he talks about
her all the time, but he's scared.

You're going to get,
another slap.

Dad, you're not going
for mum's sake,

you are running away from love.

Give it a chance.

-That's what I say.
-Who else needs to tell you?

Christ! You're right, daughter of
mine.

I can't stop talking about her
but then I get scared.

But that's exactly what I said!

What does it matter who said what?
What does it matter?

The important thing is
that your sister is right.

That's nice, you're frightened of
me,

but not of the cuckoo
moving into your nest.

Claudia isn't moving in.

The wardrobe is full of her clothes

and her dirty knickers are in
the laundry basket.

She's pretending
she lives here

because the inspector is coming
today, and anyway they're clean.

If her knickers are clean or dirty
is the least of it.

Good morning, my love.

Hey... What are you doing here?

Bringing you breakfast, darling.

And that's not a bit strange?

Isn't that a bit strange?

Don't worry. I'll do it just
until the inspector gets here,

to get used to the house.

And I wanted to say thanks
for everything you've done for me

with a special little surprise.

What special surprise?

What special surprise?

You just have to get into bed
and close your eyes.

-Don't get into bed.
-Don't get into bed.

Javi, I've only brought you
breakfast in bed.

You have to be in bed so you
can have breakfast in bed.

-Butter wouldn't melt.
-Can you shut up for a minute?

You're having regrets, aren't you?
It's normal.

This is too good to be true.
Hey... Javi,

you can back out if you want to.

Tell her you're backing out.
She's putting it on a plate.

No. Uh...

Wait. Hey...

Thanks.

She put it on a plate!
You didn't have to take the plate!

Okay, it's so they can see we
have a normal life...

so it seems
we're in love...

with no sex of course.

You've just given the perfect
definition of marriage.

-Good afternoon.
-Hello.

Hey! You're David. David, the...

-friend of Javi.
-Yes, how's things? All okay?

Look, I..., hey...

I wanted something for a wedding.

We don't do many orders
for men, but...

we are experts
in made-to-measure.

It won't take long in your case
because...

you're David the...
the friend of Javi.

-It's for my sister.
-Ah, your sister.

-Your sister, the gardener?
-Yes.

For Javi's wedding?

And you want a dress
for your sister's wedding?

Yes, well, that's it, yes!

I want a dress for my sister the
gardener's wedding to Javi.

-That's right.
-Are you off your rocker?

How can you come to the shop
of the groom's ex

to buy a wedding dress?

No, well, not buy exactly.

I was thinking that you might
be able to lend it me.

What are you playing at little man?

-Are you making fun of my height?
-No, your stupidity.

Get out before Marta arrives.

Shit!

-What?
-Hide, quick!

Here.

Can you believe that idiot David
sent me a message

saying he wants me to lend a wedding
dress to his sister?

No way! What a cheek!

Let him come, we'll see,
I'll cut his balls off.

Marta, this isn't what it seems.

Well, my bit, yes.

I wanted a wedding dress
for my sister,

but the wedding isn't real.

That's why I wanted to borrow it,

so as not to spend so much cash
on a wedding

that's really a kind of joke.

Oh, I just love
joke weddings.

Watch me laugh.

In fact, this afternoon,
an inspector came

to check out the house...

to the...

house.

There. C'mon, yup,
I'll show you the dresses.

What?

Are you going to let him dress his
sister in one of ours?

No, no, no!

Hey, hey!

-Marta, Marta!
-Don't let him out.

-I'm going to stop this wedding.
-Let me out.

What a fright!
I thought you'd gone mad.

And, yes, you are crazy,
but in your own crazy way.

Go, crazy woman! Run!

Let me out! Marta!

Marta, don't even think about it!

'It won't be perfect. And we'll
have to work at it every day,

but I want to be with you,

and not just today
or next week,

but forever'.

You're not such a bad actor after all.

If I saw this video, I'd think you
fancied the actress a little bit.

-Hey!
-Ah!

Idiot!

Get out of my house.

You can't throw her out.

I was speaking to you.

Half of this house is
in my name.

-I'll leave you both to it.
-No, no, no.

Stay.
We're going to clear all this up.

An immigration official is
about to arrive.

If they catch Claudia, they'll
throw her out of the country.

Poor lamb, what a pity!

Let's be clear, she'll be sent to
Argentina.

She's not escaping from
some war-torn hellhole.

I understand how you feel.

If you understood, you
wouldn't be marrying the gardener.

-What's her job got to do with it?
-What?

If I was marrying a lawyer,
would you still be mad?

What does it matter if she's a
gardener?

It's a turn of phrase you knob!
What does her job matter?

My thoughts exactly.

Maybe you have a strange obsession
with gardening as a profession?

If you want me to tell you to go to,
you're going the right way about it.

If I was her,
I'd tell you to go to hell.

-Whose side are you on?
-No one's. But let's calm down.

The inspector is due
at 18:30 and...

-I'll go.
-No, wait, Marta, stop!

Marta, stop. Think about
what you're doing. Don't act like...

A spoilt girl?

When the door opens,
you stop ringing the bell.

Oh, really? Excuse me.

-What a beautiful bride!
-Hey?

Claudia Sampietro, I presume.

-Er...
-No, no, no, no.

I'm not the one getting married.

-I'm Claudia.
-Yes.

So, may I ask who are you?

I'm the gardener.

Just the gardener.

And you work
in the garden like that?

No, no, no. She was just leaving.

Yes I was,
but now I think I'll stay.

Hadn't you finished everything?

Well, the Judas Tree is
getting out of control

and maybe I need to give
it the snip.

Forgive me for looking at
everything,

but some unwary souls

have tried to sneak a marriage of
convenience past me.

Really?

Isn't that difficult to prove?

Difficult? Why?

Well, I don't know,
we're speaking about love.

How do you measure that?

Because, well, it's
not like doing your tax returns.

If they investigated some people's
love life,

and they haven't declared much, they
might end up having to pay it back.

Yes, I suppose I am
the tax man of love.

Yes, well, I imagine there
are those who are guilty

of fraud
at the Tax Office of love.

You know?

Suddenly they
are cooking the books,

maybe, dodgy cash-in-hand
transactions...

with their therapist.

The analogy was getting a bit
stretched,

but you lost me completely
with the therapist.

Anyway, any doubts,

if you want to ask us anything else
or to see the house...

or the video of when he proposed,
for instance?

Oh! If I were to tell you

how many times people have tried
to get the proposal from

the 'Notebook'
past me...

What was yours like?

Sorry for butting in,
but they haven't told me either.

It... Well, the proposal was...

Normal. It was... very normal.

What? Don't look at me that way.

As soon as I think of something
to say, I'll ring.

No.

Perhaps we should go

and arrange to meet some other day
so you can see her pooch.

Don't give me that look, eh?

I'm not scared.
I'm here, aren't I?

And you're so brave,
really brave,

but you haven't exactly got anywhere
yourself, have you?

Amparo!

While you make up your mind,
you should come in,

it's chilly here
and you might catch cold.

Yeah. No, it's just that...
Didn't know if I should call or not

because I thought: 'Maybe it's early
or too late, depending on what for'.

Are you coming in or not?

In, I'm coming in.

One moment.

I'm coming in, I'm not not coming
in, no, I'm coming in...

I... In, coming in,
I'm coming in, look, coming in.

That's about it then?

If you want to know any more,
ask away.

We love to talk about
our beautiful love story.

-Don't we, my love?
-Yes.

Normally, to make sure,

we like to talk to someone
who isn't a family member,

a neighbour, maybe.

Will an employee do?

It's not the normal thing,

but in this case we'll
make an exception.

What do you think about
this love story?

Me? What do I think about it?

I don't know if it's love.

But, obviously,

Javier has opened his home,

his life, his future to Claudia.

And if that's not love,

it's pretty damn close.

If you'll excuse me,
I have to go to the greenhouse

to hibernate for a bit.

Marta, Marta, wait, Marta!

Uh...

I need to tell her

not to forget to put
the automatic sprinkler on.

Back in a mo'.

More coffee?

Thanks...

for not spilling the beans.

As for the house,
as soon as I finish this,

I'll move and it's all yours.

I don't want it. I'm going to
Mexico for a while.

You're going because of your
brother the sculptor?

He's not my brother and he lives in
Berlin.

Yeah.

Well, have a nice time in
Mexico.

It's a good place to escape to.

I'm not escaping.
I'm going because my mum is there.

When it's born the father won't be
there but the grandomother will.

When it's born...

Are you pregnant?

No, Marta, wait!

If you're pregnant,
you can't leave this way

and I can't get married.

We have to stop all this, my love.

I wish you had said
that earlier.

Earlier?

If I'm pregnant,
you don't want me to go.

If I'm pregnant,
you'll stop the wedding.

So, you knew you
were hurting me,

but me alone, I'm not a good enough
reason to stop.

It's not like that.

Okay, we'll stop the wedding. Great.

And, if I lose the baby tomorrow,
will you get married or what?

I love you,
and I'll love you just the same.

I don't care if you're pregnant.

If they're triplets,
I'll love you just the same.

Are you sure?

And what if it's not yours?

Even then?

Marieta,

I'm not going to tell you what
I did because I'm a gentleman,

but I've been wanting to say
something for a long time.

Oh, that made me feel just dandy!

What? Don't look at me that way.

I wasn't talking to anyone.

No. Look.

You see? There.

Please...

And I'm not going to tell
Marieta either.

It's not her fault

how daft I've been
all this time.

Dear God!

What the hell!

20 years...!

without watering the plants!

Well...

She's going to Mexico.

The gardener is going to Mexico?

Yes. Oh...

She just loves Cactus.

And some more good news.
Marcial has offered to marry us.

Are you Marcial?

Yes. Besides being an inspector,
I'm also a local councillor

and Claudia tells me
you don't have anyone as yet.

So we'll have to fix a date,
won't we?

Yes.

Why can't you tell me who it is?

Because I don't know if he'll be
there when you are born.

So I can't rule out either
of them.

Honey, I...

I think the time has come for me to
go on alone.

You want me to go?

You're already here
and in a couple of months,

we'll see each other again.

And everything will begin for real.

This has been like a...
like a rehearsal.

Trust me.