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1
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,841
CYRIL:
Gott im Himmel!
2
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:10,377
I knew it, those damn cannibals
have taken Schmidt.
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,612
See?
4
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,314
Look there: a blood trail.
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,515
-Das ist Blut.
-Armer Schmidt.
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,317
So let's follow it
und kill those savages.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,953
Are you quite insane?
8
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,754
There could be scores of them.
9
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:21,956
Hundreds, even.
10
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,091
Yeah, with sticks and stones.
11
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,060
Ja, and maybe poison arrows.
12
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,561
-Schweinhunden.
-Mein Gott.
13
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,197
We need reinforcements.
Schneider!
14
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,533
Luckily, there is a Kriegsmarine
transport nearby,
15
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,168
heading for Nauru.
16
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,636
Hello? Hello?!
17
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,704
Agent Fuchs der Abwehr hier.
18
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,141
Ich muss mit deinem
Kapitan sprechen.
19
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,808
With a bit of luck,
20
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:44,811
soon, we will have a platoon
of marine Sturmtruppen.
21
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,013
(chuckles)
22
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,214
(Pam gasps)
23
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,050
-Sturmtruppen?
-Damn it.
24
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,651
Wait, what are Sturmtruppen?
25
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,120
It means "storm troopers."
26
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,721
-Ah, crap.
-Yeah, that doesn't sound good.
27
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,856
Well, it is a cognate.
28
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,491
-What?
-Cognate.
29
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,860
Those are words with a common
etymological origin.
30
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,195
Not the word, Poindexter.
31
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,596
The fact that there's a thing
called that.
32
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,431
Yeah, and how many guys
in a platoon?
33
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,566
Like, 40.
34
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,834
-Wait, were you in the Army?
-Army Air Corps.
35
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,836
Hmm. Well, that doesn't do us
much good.
36
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,838
Hey, neither does
your missing arm.
37
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:15,009
-Hey.
-But if my almost totally
nonexistent understanding
38
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,843
-of military history
is correct...
-Why would...?
39
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,245
Noah, shut up--
40
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,580
then I'm pretty sure
we can expect
41
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,015
several waves of attacks,
42
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,916
wherein the attackers
will steadily increase
43
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,585
in both number and in skill,
44
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,354
until we face
a final, climactic attack
45
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,356
by a sort of uberattacker,
46
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,993
a boss, if you will.
47
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,228
-Translate that.
-Ah.
48
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,231
Boroka handiak, boroka boss.
49
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,866
-Mm.
-Wait, was that it or...?
50
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,603
-Broad strokes.
-Huh. Well, now tell him we need
51
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,938
to build a network of defenses
out of whatever's on hand,
52
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,540
while also training everybody--
53
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:49,110
the men, the women,
these nubile teenage girls
54
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,944
I really hope are at least 18,
55
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,546
maybe some of the chubbier kids,
56
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,549
I mean everybody, all of them--
to fight.
57
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,718
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Zuri gotiak boroka.
58
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,054
Boroka dugu. Zenbat ordo?
59
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,056
Um, uh,
so they're eager to fight,
60
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,624
and how much time do we have?
61
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,959
-Just a couple hours.
-Seriously?
62
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,395
Yeah. So, obviously,
we're gonna have to montage
63
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,764
the shit out of this thing.
64
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,469
Will you tell him
what a montage is?
65
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,804
Yeah, I don't think
"montage" would translate.
66
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:21,075
They-they don't really have
a strong filmic tradition.
67
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,644
-And whose fault is that, Noah?
-Well, I mean...
68
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,513
Jesus,
you are the fucking worst.
69
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,950
♪
70
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,490
Yeah, so if we had filmed all
that training and preparation
71
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,758
and then sort of cut it down
to just the good parts
72
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,927
and set that
to some bouncy music,
73
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,197
that would've been a montage.
74
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,632
I honestly wouldn't even know
where to start.
75
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,801
Try Eisenstein, you asshole.
76
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,369
All right,
let's see what we got!
77
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,737
Kusta dugu!
78
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,676
ARCHER:
Um, okay!
79
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,677
Good job, I guess!
80
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,213
Ona gudari!
81
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,214
(grunting)
82
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,150
ARCHER:
Good-looking tiger trap, ladies!
83
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,818
-Ona trampak!
-Don't forget to smear
84
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,220
those stakes with feces!
85
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,054
Poopoo! Poopoo!
86
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,489
-Oh, come on.
-What?
87
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,024
That's what they call it.
88
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,259
(grunting)
89
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,627
ARCHER:
Oh, man.
90
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,296
-Thanks, tribal elders!
-Ona zahara!
91
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,698
ARCHER: Uh-oh, what are
Nazi Laurel and Hardy up to?
92
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,200
-(grunting)
-Wow.
93
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,402
-Literally another fine mess.
-Mm,
94
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,903
that's not gonna translate.
95
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,672
(chuckles)
I mean, A) it's sarcasm,
96
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,007
B) they're not gonna get
the reference, and...
97
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,577
And C) shut up and...
Oh, my God,
98
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,012
what's that big, crazy,
man-killing bastard?
99
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,081
Let's call it the widow-maker!
100
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,916
NOAH: Well,
that's also not gonna translate.
101
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,252
ARCHER: Noah,
goddamn it, if you don't...
102
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,920
Wait, where's my Chub Club?
103
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:17,124
(chuckles):
Yeah! There they are!
104
00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:20,327
Um...
105
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,895
That's okay. Uh, shake it off
106
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,298
and get some more poison darts
from Pam.
107
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:26,066
Pozo Pamu.
108
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,069
Aw, come on! This bullshit
is boring as balls.
109
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,904
-Huh.
-(frog croaks)
110
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,275
(croaking distorting)
111
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:38,212
(chuckles) I wish to amend
my previous statement.
112
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:39,613
Okay. All right, all right.
113
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,782
So, um, criticisms.
114
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,950
I think we maybe could've spent
a little more time
115
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,452
practicing actual combat
116
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,954
and a little less making
the Nazi logs.
117
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,891
But, overall,
great job, everybody.
118
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,559
Ona lanara!
119
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,960
(cheering, laughter)
120
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,829
Okay, Noah, tell the chief
121
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:57,097
the most important thing
to remember is...
122
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,166
-MALORY: Sterling?
-Wha...?!
123
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,437
-Mother?!
-What in the hell
are you wearing?
124
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,438
I-I mean...
125
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,939
Master Coconut!
126
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,175
Pam, shut up.
What are you doing here?
127
00:05:08,209 --> 00:05:09,710
Well, we came to rescue...
128
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,044
The sacred idol!
129
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,112
-What?
-Nuh-uh.
130
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,614
-Goddamn it!
-(chuckles)
131
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,949
We're searching
for the sacred idol!
132
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,451
What is wrong with you?
133
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,885
What's wrong with you?
134
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,254
And who the hell
told you about...?
135
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,789
Oh, you goddamn
blabbermouth bird.
136
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,292
They already knew about it,
and they were gonna leave you
137
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,328
in the quicksand
while they looked for it.
138
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,762
-What?
-Nuh-uh.
-Damn it, bird.
139
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,130
Are you-- Mother, is that true?
140
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,798
You were just gonna let us die?
141
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,468
Oh, please. What do you think
we're doing here?
142
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:39,306
We came to rescue you from these
bloodthirsty cannibals, which...
143
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,507
Oh, yeah, no.
144
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,942
-They're cool.
-Well...
145
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,510
Mother, this is
the cannibal chief.
146
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,213
Chief, my lying
and scheming mother.
147
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:48,014
Charmed, I'm sure.
148
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,316
So they're not cannibals?
149
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,917
Oh, no, they're totally
cannibals,
150
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,486
but we've temporarily teamed up
151
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,154
to fight
some Nazi storm troopers.
152
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,656
-Wait, what?
-Mon Dieu.
153
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,990
Storm troopers?
154
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,725
-It's a cognate.
-Noah?
155
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,993
MUA MUA (chanting):
Kalua... Kalua... Kalua...
156
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,762
And what is happening right now?
157
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,997
-Kalua.
-What is kalua?
158
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,467
It means... goddess.
159
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:10,704
(laughing):
Wow, okay, that's embarrassing.
160
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,906
Tell them I'm not
an actual goddess,
161
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,875
but merely
a direct descendant of, um,
162
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,444
whosits, their god, um,
what's-his-face.
163
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,979
No, no, no, no, no,
they-they don't mean you.
164
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,314
They mean her.
165
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,015
-Huh?
-(others exclaim)
166
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,484
-MALORY: Oh, for the love...
-Kalua... Kalua... Kalua...
167
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,051
Wow, that is embarrassing.
168
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,553
Oh, shut up.
169
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,088
I'll tell you
what's embarrassing,
170
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,357
is getting slaughtered by
a bunch of Nazi storm troopers.
171
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,560
So, can we all please focus?
Noah, tell them to focus.
172
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,397
Uh... (sighs)
Uzuka, bita kuju.
173
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,765
Bita kuju!
174
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:42,269
-Aw.
-Well, on the bright side,
175
00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:44,571
if you don't get murdered,
maybe you can move here
176
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,206
and be worshipped as a goddess.
177
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:51,177
What mere mortal dare speak
to Kalua?
178
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,813
Mm, okay.
179
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,047
CYRIL:
Okay!
180
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,382
Listen up!
181
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,617
These savage cannibals
have murdered
182
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,018
and by now, let's be honest,
183
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,987
probably eaten
one of your Kameraden.
184
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,591
So we are going to destroy their
village and everyone in it.
185
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,059
Men, women, and--
186
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,894
You there!
What are you eating?
187
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,471
Well, did you bring enough
for everyone?
188
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,442
CYRIL: Well, then what are you
waiting for?
189
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,043
-Pass them out.
-(cheering)
190
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,945
Now, any questions?
191
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,313
Uh...
192
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,350
It's just something we're doing.
193
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,418
Mmm, I forget why.
194
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,919
Und also shut up.
195
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,220
(chewing)
196
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,797
ARCHER:
Psst. Noah. You've told them
197
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,799
to hold their fire until
the Krauts are in close, right?
198
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,267
-Mm-hmm.
-And to fall back
199
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,370
-when they start to get overrun?
-Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,237
And to-- wait,
what is wrong with you?
201
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,673
What, are you kidding?
I'm scared.
202
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,275
Oh. Well, yeah.
I mean, that's normal.
203
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,110
Uh, no, I think I'm scareder
than that.
204
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,413
Trust me, however scared
you think you are, it's...
205
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,147
I pissed in my pants, man.
206
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,916
Still well within normal.
207
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,118
Nobody else pissed
in their pants.
208
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,921
Well, but remember,
they're not wearing pants.
209
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:08,922
-That's not...
-ARCHER: Plus,
210
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:09,956
there is no way
211
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,157
they can possibly imagine
212
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,726
the unspeakable things
213
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,496
that modern firearms can do
to the human body.
214
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,664
So... try not to get shot.
215
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,466
That's it? That's your advice?
216
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,101
ARCHER (whispering):
That's really good advice.
217
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,636
CHERYL:
Isn't this exciting?
218
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,270
What, being held against
our will
219
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,706
while we get attacked by Nazis?
220
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,974
Or discovering
the one culture on Earth
221
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,511
that lacks a basic knowledge
of fermentation?
222
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,178
I don't know, I guess all of it?
223
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,614
(liquid splashing)
224
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:37,784
(inhales)
Hmm, now what have we here?
225
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,352
I could've found
that stupid idol
226
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,021
and been halfway
to New York by now.
227
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,623
(coughs)
Oh, no.
228
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,525
That idol's all mine, missy.
229
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,993
Yeah, well,
we'll see about that.
230
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,462
Out of the way, Blimpkins.
231
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:52,332
Are you...? You are serious.
232
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,000
Hey, can you please
tell him to move?
233
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:58,271
Who calls upon
the almighty Kalua?!
234
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:02,275
-Ugh.
-Yeah, that's not already old.
235
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,678
Your Almightiness,
did I hear you say
236
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,413
you were hungry for oysters?
237
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:08,882
(gasps)
Yes. Mortal.
238
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,984
Fetch me some bivalves.
239
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,519
Budge up, biggun.
240
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,721
-What?
-Back in a jiff.
241
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,223
Toodles.
242
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,725
-PAM: Any sign of 'em?
-KRIEGER: No,
243
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,527
because I don't have
binocular vision.
244
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:23,029
-I'm totally wasted here.
-Me, too.
245
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,698
(chuckles)
Well, not totally, but...
246
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,366
No, and stop that.
247
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,569
I should be in the air,
like a reconnaissance plane.
248
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,103
Yeah, right,
like you'd come back.
249
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,539
Wh...? I came back. I'm here.
250
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,575
Yeah, nice decision tree, bird.
251
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,076
And where the hell'd
you get that?
252
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,511
-Made it.
-What, when?
253
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,212
I don't know, a minute ago.
254
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,215
Whatever's in these crazy
bastards is, like...
255
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,150
really helping me focus.
256
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:47,153
-It's poison.
-(scoffs) So's booze.
257
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,889
What's up your dickhole?
258
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,157
I just-- all these people put
their trust in me,
259
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,893
and what if I fail them?
260
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,761
What if, what if
I get them all killed?
261
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,831
PAM: I mean,
they were gonna eat us, so...
262
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,299
ARCHER:
That's a fair point.
263
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,034
Hey, you know,
people eat birds all the time.
264
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,335
Why is that okay?
265
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,770
'Cause birds are delicious.
266
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,438
Well, you're probably not,
but...
267
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,273
I bet I'm totally delicious.
268
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,142
(laughing): Oh, please,
you were born in the 1800...
269
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,577
-(explosion)
-(screaming)
270
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,779
-What the hell was that?!
-Mortar!
271
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,682
CYRIL:
Fire!
272
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,450
(shell whistling)
273
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:18,585
(screaming)
274
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,721
(screams)
275
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,923
(laughs)
My God, listen to that.
276
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,458
You can hear their women scream
from here!
277
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,227
(inhales, laughs)
278
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,696
So I hope someone brought
potatoes.
279
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:33,667
(whoops)
Fire!
280
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,769
(shell whistling)
281
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,471
Merde!
282
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,141
Doudou, devrions-nous courir?
283
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,777
Jésus, tu es le pire putain.
284
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,078
(screaming)
285
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,647
Nazi punks, fuck off!
286
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,181
We got to take out that mortar!
287
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,249
Yeah, but how?
288
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,585
I'm gonna charge it.
289
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,387
(Pam and Krieger laugh)
290
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,789
What?
291
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,324
(inhales, groans)
What did you say?
292
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:04,798
No. Fire!
293
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,100
Okay, Noah. You're gonna go back
to the States,
294
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,635
and you're gonna tell Dad
he was right,
295
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,971
and you're gonna take
that job at... (grunts)
296
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,873
at Uncle Mort's modeling agency.
297
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,440
And guess what.
You're just going
298
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,610
to have to start slathering
tanning oil
299
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,812
on Swedish bikini models.
300
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,146
-(shouts)
-That's it, I'm going for it.
301
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,548
-Mm-kay.
-Good luck.
302
00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:22,649
-That's it?
-KRIEGER AND PAM: I mean...
303
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,084
MALORY:
Sterling!
304
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,285
What are you doing,
running around?
305
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,187
The air's, like, 50% metal.
306
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,123
Well, exactly,
and speaking of percentages,
307
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,492
you seem to have this whole
thing pretty well in hand,
308
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,494
so I thought I'd just toodle off
309
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,030
and see if I can't find
that pesky idol.
310
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,200
-Are you...?
-For us. Me and you, 50-50.
311
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,201
-I...
-He has partners, you know.
312
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,636
Oh, my God.
313
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,705
Well, if he wants to give you
half of his half,
314
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,306
that's his business, but...
315
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,441
What half?
What happened to thirdsies?
316
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,677
Yeah, what did happen
to thirdsies?
317
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,545
Wait, since when was it
thirdsies?
318
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,347
Oh, my God.
First of all, we...
319
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,216
Wait, what are you drinking?
320
00:11:56,249 --> 00:12:00,020
Apparently, it's some kind of
beer made from some jungle fruit
321
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,888
these people chew into a paste
322
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,591
and then spit into these gourds
to ferment.
323
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,226
(spits)
324
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,328
It's a bit like
a phlegm sangria.
325
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,696
(man groans nearby)
326
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,898
Hmm. Is it good?
327
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,900
-(inhales) You know...
-(screams nearby)
328
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,737
Son of a--
that was my only gourd.
329
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,839
-Give me that.
-Wha...? What are you...?
330
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,509
(screaming, groaning)
331
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,448
Nazi sons of bitches.
332
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,819
She took out
the whole mortar team.
333
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,554
What?! I was gonna do that.
334
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,690
-(chuckling): Okay.
-(chuckling): Yeah, right.
335
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,125
-Here. I think it's broken.
-I...
336
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,161
And, look,
the natives are rallying.
337
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,763
(all crying out)
338
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,532
(all scream)
339
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,780
CYRIL:
Ja, ja.
340
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,381
Schiesse diese Scheie!
341
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,116
Schneider, radio the ship.
342
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,451
Tell them we need...
343
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,487
Well, a new Schneider, for one.
344
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,291
(sighs)
345
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:15,228
Batu baruka! Batu baruka!
346
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,463
(grunting)
347
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,302
Because I don't want to die
in a hut,
348
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,204
defiled by Nazi storm troopers!
349
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,306
Well, I can't die. I'm immortal.
350
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,274
But even though time
is meaningless to me,
351
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,543
what is taking so long
with these oysters?
352
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,178
(chuckles):
Well, don't ask him,
353
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,047
'cause he sure as hell
doesn't have any.
354
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,149
-Meaning?
-He's a eunuch?
355
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:38,251
Oh, come on.
He has no testicles.
356
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,987
-Ew. And also, so?
-So,
357
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,389
what do you think
these people use for oysters?
358
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,591
Uh, presumably oysters?
359
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,161
-Balls.
-Wait, what?
360
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,430
-Why would they eat...?
-Because they're cannibals.
361
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,532
Cannibals don't only eat people.
362
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,968
I'm sure they have side salads.
363
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,502
You think he eats
a lot of salad?
364
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,305
I think if I tell him to,
he'll eat you.
365
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,441
(clears throat)
I take your point.
366
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,009
(mockingly):
Muh, muh, muh, muh.
367
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,078
(laughs)
368
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,981
(screaming)
369
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,051
Fall back! Fall back! Fall back!
370
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,486
Where the... Noah? Noah?
371
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,888
NOAH:
Y-Yeah?
372
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,456
What are you doing, Noah?
373
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,825
Oh, I-I'm hiding
under this corpse.
374
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,226
-But otherwise...?
-I mean...
375
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,162
Well, then, can you please
tell them to fall back
376
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,630
so we can lure these Nazi pukes
into our killing zones?
377
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,466
Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
378
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:29,102
Oh, now! Sorry. Uh, atzera!
379
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,236
Atzera!
380
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:34,240
Atzera! Batu baruka atzera!
381
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,575
And how do you say "get ready"?
382
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,811
-Um...
-Noah!
383
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,013
Oh, no, sorry. Kokatu. Kokatu.
384
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,447
-Thanks, idiot.
-Yep!
385
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,849
ARCHER:
Kokatu!
386
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,717
Kokatu!
387
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,719
(Noah sighs)
388
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,354
ARCHER:
Kokatu! Kokatu!
389
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,823
They are retreating.
390
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,191
Attack! Attack!
391
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,059
Vorwarts!
392
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,495
(all crying out)
393
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,630
Kokatu! Kokatu!
394
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,599
Kokatu!
395
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,134
What is that?
396
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,635
What is he screaming?
397
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,570
Here come the Krauts.
398
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,973
Ugh, finally.
399
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:09,442
They might have schnapps.
400
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,353
-(screams)
-(grunts)
401
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:23,256
Yeah! Aw, man.
402
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,091
-Did you see that?
-(chuckling): Yeah.
403
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,327
That was the pits. Am I right?
404
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,929
-Eh.
-Eh.
-Oh, whatever.
405
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,563
Shut up, bird.
406
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:34,700
Nein! Nein!
407
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,403
Was ist los?
Was ist los?
408
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,512
ARCHER (laughs):
It's working!
409
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,249
-Chief, it's working.
-Mmm.
410
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,117
Chief, you are a tough room.
411
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,153
(speaking German)
412
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:08,734
Woooooo!! Chub Club!
413
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,004
-That was the last of 'em.
-Yeah!
414
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,173
-Take that, you Nazi bastards.
-(Mua Mua cheering)
415
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,275
Well, don't just stand there
and gawk.
416
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,410
Go loot their corpses
for schnapps.
417
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,346
(cheering continues)
418
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,197
Huh.
419
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,298
(Mua Mua chanting)
420
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,499
ARCHER:
What are they chanting?
421
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,633
NOAH (chanting):
Death to whites.
422
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,935
No offense.
423
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,304
Death to whites. No offense.
424
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,539
-Oh.
-Yeah.
Again, they're super racist.
425
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,309
-But also weirdly polite.
-Eh.
426
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,112
We showed
those German bastards, eh?
427
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,080
What we?
Where the hell were you?
428
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,917
Fighting those German bastards.
429
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,184
-Yeah, right.
-Uh-huh.
430
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,753
I shot maybe ten
German bastards.
431
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,223
Okay, well,
as long as I get the credit
432
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,125
for the winning battle plan,
I...
433
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,060
Victory is mine!
434
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,196
All hail Kalua!
435
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,497
Uh, you don't.
436
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,598
-(woman screams)
-(all gasp)
437
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,800
-(gasps)
-(screams)
438
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,536
(loud thudding)
439
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,971
(all gasp)
440
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,244
(all scream)
441
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,052
Huh? (screams)
442
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,819
(all cheering)
443
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,122
Way to go, toothless old lady.
444
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,493
And now I think
it's feast o'clock.
445
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,562
Hey, shouldn't we, um,
go make sure
446
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,497
that guy's, like, dead
or whatever?
447
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:47,100
No, dummy. Why do you think
they call it the widow-maker?
448
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,701
-Well, yeah,
but you made that up.
-(Mua Mua chanting)
449
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,203
Probably won't get credit
for that, either.
450
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,906
(chanting):
Teko! Besta! Teko! Besta!
451
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,408
Teko! Besta!
452
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,982
(Cyril grunting)
453
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,988
(whimpers)
454
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,990
(laughing maniacally)
455
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,531
(children laugh)
456
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,400
ARCHER:
Woooooo!!
457
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,503
Oh, man.
Are feasts not the best?
458
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,405
Not this one. Don't eat that!
459
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,007
Come on, try it.
460
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,274
It tastes like chicken.
461
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,775
I don't eat chicken.
462
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:33,179
Yes! Finally, oysters.
463
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,780
NOAH: Oh, fun fact:
even though they serve those
464
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,216
on oyster shells,
465
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,683
they're actually
human testicles.
466
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,385
-LANA: Ha!
-(sighs)
467
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,388
Well, I mean, at this point...
468
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,689
You know? (chuckles)
469
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,758
-(retches)
-Oh, wait.
470
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,293
Oh, thank God.
471
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,562
Noah, how do you say
"mignonette"?
472
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,264
Oh, it's the same. "Mignonette."
473
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,565
-Seriously?
-Oh, come on.
-What?
474
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:54,167
Yeah, it's a loanword.
475
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,236
(sighs) Just the worst.
476
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,803
MAN:
Made in Georgia.
477
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,809
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