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1
00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:15,125
Salman Rushdie told
me to live my life.
2
00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:19,667
And, you know, I'm not thinking
about it as much as I used to,
3
00:00:19,668 --> 00:00:21,417
and so far, so good.
4
00:00:21,418 --> 00:00:22,834
That's great.
5
00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:24,458
Oh, I know what I wanted
to talk to you about.
6
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,291
I'm having this dream.
7
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,458
- Right.
- I've had it, like, three times.
8
00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:32,125
I'm in this room and there's
all these virgins...
9
00:00:32,126 --> 00:00:34,250
beautiful virgins, my God...
10
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:37,792
- and they all wanna have sex with me.
- Wow.
11
00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:39,709
And I count... I keep
counting them up,
12
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:42,125
and I can only count 71.
13
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,709
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
I'm counting with my head...
14
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,750
7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12...
15
00:00:46,751 --> 00:00:49,208
Sometimes I'll start over...
one, two, three, four...
16
00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:51,333
Right, the head count.
17
00:00:51,334 --> 00:00:53,583
Are you expecting more or less?
18
00:00:53,584 --> 00:00:55,083
I'm expecting 72.
19
00:00:55,084 --> 00:00:56,875
What if you just miscounted?
20
00:00:56,876 --> 00:00:58,542
That's a possibility.
21
00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:00,458
So, were you tempted
to have sex with them?
22
00:01:00,459 --> 00:01:02,500
Well, I wanted to,
but I was too concerned
23
00:01:02,501 --> 00:01:04,041
with the missing 72nd.
24
00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:07,291
- That was the issue.
- What's interesting to me
25
00:01:07,292 --> 00:01:12,250
is that I find you're focused
on the number of women
26
00:01:12,251 --> 00:01:16,500
who apparently are very
interested in you, and yet...
27
00:01:16,501 --> 00:01:19,583
Larry, you seem preoccupied.
28
00:01:19,584 --> 00:01:23,041
I'm just wondering...
29
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:26,709
have you ever noticed the
disparity in these two chairs?
30
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:31,375
Your chair is so much
better than this one.
31
00:01:31,376 --> 00:01:33,375
This is not a comfortable
chair at all.
32
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:35,291
Did... did you buy
these chairs?
33
00:01:35,292 --> 00:01:37,875
Yes, I... I bought
both of them.
34
00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:39,667
- You picked out both of them?
- I picked them out, yeah.
35
00:01:39,668 --> 00:01:41,792
What was going through your head
when you picked out this chair?
36
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:43,375
You picked out a great
chair for yourself.
37
00:01:43,376 --> 00:01:44,500
That's a gorgeous chair.
38
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:45,875
I would have that in my house.
39
00:01:45,876 --> 00:01:47,500
But this one,
it's not comfortable.
40
00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:49,500
I'm constantly shifting
from side to side.
41
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:51,500
You have the comfortable chair.
42
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:53,417
You have taken the good chair.
43
00:01:53,418 --> 00:01:57,750
It's interesting...
you are the first and only patient
44
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,125
who has ever said anything
negative about that chair.
45
00:02:00,126 --> 00:02:02,208
I don't find that
interesting at all.
46
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,208
Well, I do, and that's my job...
to find things interesting.
47
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:07,709
- Well...
- Interesting with the chair.
48
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,024
I don't know what you're
writing over there.
49
00:02:09,025 --> 00:02:10,625
Chair issues.
50
00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:12,083
I think there's
something deeper.
51
00:02:12,084 --> 00:02:13,291
I don't think you're
writing anything.
52
00:02:13,292 --> 00:02:14,917
- No, I could show you.
- Huh?
53
00:02:14,918 --> 00:02:17,041
- I could show you.
- I mean, you're a nice man,
54
00:02:17,042 --> 00:02:19,333
but, you know, do you...
do you do that much?
55
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:22,333
- Between you and me?
- Don't you think that I do
56
00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:24,208
a significant amount
of help to you?
57
00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:26,875
- Eh, no.
- Really?
58
00:02:26,876 --> 00:02:28,125
May I be honest with you?
59
00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:31,291
I hope that you can always
be honest with me.
60
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,625
Well, I'm often never
honest with you,
61
00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:35,458
but here's what I'm proposing.
62
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:36,959
I think you should
go chair shopping.
63
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,834
I think you need another chair.
64
00:02:38,835 --> 00:02:41,333
And you know what else? I'm willing
to go chair shopping with you.
65
00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:42,808
Will you think about it?
66
00:02:42,809 --> 00:02:46,709
I don't know, but I do know
that the session is over,
67
00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,834
and so we'll have to
pick this up next time.
68
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,333
It's tough for you to have to
look at that watch, isn't it?
69
00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:53,834
It must be a little awkward.
You know I see it.
70
00:02:53,835 --> 00:02:55,917
I know you see it.
I'm not trying to sneak it.
71
00:02:55,918 --> 00:02:58,250
You can't... you're trying to
do a little sneaky watch peek.
72
00:02:58,251 --> 00:02:59,667
I'm not trying to do
a sneaky watch peek,
73
00:02:59,668 --> 00:03:01,792
I'm trying to be
efficient with our time.
74
00:03:01,793 --> 00:03:04,208
Why don't you put
a clock behind me
75
00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:06,959
so you can have a clock,
you know, when the time's up?
76
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,500
- But, okay.
- Nevertheless, it is... it is over,
77
00:03:10,501 --> 00:03:14,000
and I'm looking forward to
seeing you again next week.
78
00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:16,417
So, uh, you got big plans
for the weekend?
79
00:03:16,418 --> 00:03:19,208
This weekend and all
through next week
80
00:03:19,209 --> 00:03:22,834
my wife and I go out every single
night to a different restaurant
81
00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:24,709
because it's truffle season.
82
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:27,792
- It's wonderful. Do you like truffles?
- No, I loathe them.
83
00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:30,875
They're disgusting.
Oh, to each his own.
84
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,375
- To each his own.
- Yeah.
85
00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:34,125
Okay. Thank you, Larry.
86
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:37,000
Okay. And, by the way, any time you
wanna get rid of me as a patient,
87
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,750
just say, "I've had enough."
88
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,166
It'll be...
it'll be okay with me.
89
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:43,626
Oh, dear God.
90
00:04:01,334 --> 00:04:03,333
Oh, dear.
91
00:04:03,334 --> 00:04:04,917
Oh, dear.
92
00:04:04,918 --> 00:04:07,917
Hey! How about this?
93
00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:09,667
I don't even know how to react.
94
00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:11,291
It's unbelievable.
95
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:14,250
So, uh, over at the
table over there,
96
00:04:14,251 --> 00:04:16,500
the young lady
in the red dress?
97
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:18,166
Yeah, yeah,
I saw her earlier.
98
00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:21,917
She is a big-time
real estate agent.
99
00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:23,125
- Yeah?
- Okay, yes.
100
00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:24,458
You looking for a house?
101
00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:26,750
Well, I'm gonna go out
looking for houses,
102
00:04:26,751 --> 00:04:29,583
but I'm not looking
for a house.
103
00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:31,125
Wow.
104
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:33,667
What a diabolical plan this is.
105
00:04:33,668 --> 00:04:36,125
It's a date, but they
don't know it's a date.
106
00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:37,875
- Yes!
- And if I want another date,
107
00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:40,333
I just go, "You know what?
This house doesn't appeal to me.
108
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:42,291
Tomorrow, are you good
to see another house?"
109
00:04:42,292 --> 00:04:44,208
- Doesn't cost you a nickel.
- Nope. Nope.
110
00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:46,625
She's excited to be with me.
She wants to please me.
111
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:48,083
- She wants to please you.
- Yeah.
112
00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:49,875
- Oh, hey. Look at this.
- Thank you. I appreciate it.
113
00:04:49,876 --> 00:04:51,375
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, ho, ho!
114
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:53,166
They love me!
They're loving it!
115
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,166
- Ah!
- Thank you very much.
116
00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:58,083
- Congratulations.
- You don't have to buy any of them.
117
00:04:58,084 --> 00:04:59,750
- You know...
- Well, I wasn't gonna buy any,
118
00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:01,667
but, still, I can
congratulate you.
119
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,250
Are you vying for the title
120
00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:05,083
of the most pretentious
man in the world?
121
00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:06,125
- What, this?
- Yes.
122
00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:07,500
I've had this for decades.
123
00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:10,417
It looks like the Little
Drummer Boy's funeral.
124
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:13,250
- This is what he's wearing in the casket.
- Mm-hmm, that's very funny.
125
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:15,083
I never showed you
my paintings at home
126
00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:18,458
because I knew you would, you know,
just mock me and destroy me, so...
127
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:19,917
- a big night for me.
- Anyway, congratulations.
128
00:05:19,918 --> 00:05:21,750
- Congratulations.
- This is quite a display here.
129
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,750
- Do you understand any of it?
- No.
130
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:25,417
No, it's very confusing.
131
00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:26,917
- You don't under...
- I don't think you do either.
132
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:29,291
Let me show you one,
a painting I just sold.
133
00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:30,491
I'm very excited.
134
00:05:30,492 --> 00:05:32,375
Then maybe you could explain
the mystery of that one.
135
00:05:32,376 --> 00:05:34,041
I will.
This is one of my favorites.
136
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,625
Yeah, so I sold this
to a restaurant,
137
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:38,125
and I'm really proud of it.
138
00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:41,333
- Who is that?
- It's a self-portrait.
139
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,250
That's you?
140
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,792
What do you think a self
portrait means? Yeah, that's me.
141
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:48,291
That's like you
from 50 years ago!
142
00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,500
- No, this is me now.
- What?
143
00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:52,500
You honestly feel
you look like that?
144
00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:54,458
100%.
145
00:05:54,459 --> 00:05:55,875
You know what?
146
00:05:55,876 --> 00:05:58,458
I think I want a portrait
by Richard Lewis.
147
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,458
Yeah, well, look,
he's gonna make you look great.
148
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:02,000
Maybe you could
paint me with hair.
149
00:06:10,084 --> 00:06:11,625
- Hey.
- Hey!
150
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:14,667
Did you hear about Marty
Funkhouser's nephew, Kenny?
151
00:06:14,668 --> 00:06:15,792
- Yeah.
- He died.
152
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,500
- Unbelievable.
- It's so sad.
153
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:18,209
I know.
154
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:19,709
He was supposed to be
going to Stanford.
155
00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:21,750
- Yeah.
- You heard what happened, right?
156
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:23,834
- He got mixed up with a prostitute.
- Prostitute, right.
157
00:06:23,835 --> 00:06:25,834
- Mm-hmm.
- Followed her to Europe.
158
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:26,534
Yeah.
159
00:06:26,535 --> 00:06:29,125
Ended up going to Pamplona
to run with the bulls.
160
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:31,667
- And got trampled.
- I know.
161
00:06:31,668 --> 00:06:33,625
How does a young boy get
involved with a prostitute?
162
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:35,333
Well, I can only surmise
163
00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:38,709
that he was in need of a
prostitute for some reason,
164
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,509
he met with the prostitute,
165
00:06:40,510 --> 00:06:42,834
..and he was in love with her
and followed her over there.
166
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:46,041
- How do you know these details?
- I'm just putting two and two together.
167
00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:47,741
Where's the two and two?
168
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:49,667
Well, two and two...
you got a high school senior,
169
00:06:49,668 --> 00:06:52,083
he has an experience
with a prostitute,
170
00:06:52,084 --> 00:06:56,166
and then is so enamored, that he...
he follows her all the way to Spain.
171
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,041
Again, very detailed.
172
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,000
No, I'm just putting two and two
together, that's all.
173
00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,375
Again, I don't see
the two and two.
174
00:07:01,376 --> 00:07:03,667
Oh, there's two and
there's another two.
175
00:07:03,668 --> 00:07:05,834
- It's one and one together.
- It doesn't really add up.
176
00:07:05,835 --> 00:07:08,208
- Honestly. It's too much.
- It's shocking.
177
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,875
- It's shocking.
- He got trampled to death.
178
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:12,375
Well, that's not so shocking.
179
00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:13,834
You're running with the bulls.
180
00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:15,583
It'd be shocking
if he didn't die.
181
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,875
- That's... that's the shock.
- What?
182
00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:19,959
It's what men do.
They want to impress girls,
183
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,709
so they do crazy
stuff like that.
184
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,542
He wanted to impress
the prostitute?
185
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,125
Yeah, usually, you don't
have to impress a prostitute.
186
00:07:26,126 --> 00:07:28,625
Well, remember...
remember when we were dating
187
00:07:28,626 --> 00:07:30,625
and we went horseback riding,
188
00:07:30,626 --> 00:07:32,375
and I galloped and
almost fell off?
189
00:07:32,376 --> 00:07:34,000
I was just trying
to impress you.
190
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,041
Yeah, but she's
not a prostitute.
191
00:07:36,042 --> 00:07:38,083
- But I was having sex with her.
- But you weren't paying her for it.
192
00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:40,458
- Okay.
- Right, right.
193
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:44,166
- Oh.
- Marty, I am so sorry.
194
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:46,750
- So sorry to hear about Kenny.
- Thank you, thank you.
195
00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:48,625
Really sorry.
196
00:07:48,626 --> 00:07:51,041
It's the worst thing that's
happened to me in my life.
197
00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:54,458
- I mean, he's like a son I never had.
- Mm.
198
00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:57,250
Although, my daughter
is transitioning.
199
00:07:57,251 --> 00:07:59,792
- Ah. How's that going?
- So far, so good.
200
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:02,250
You know, I saw her a couple of
weeks ago. She looked pretty good.
201
00:08:02,251 --> 00:08:04,709
- Yeah, well, she's a he now, so.
- Yeah, he.
202
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:06,333
When... when does
she get the penis?
203
00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:09,083
He's talking about it.
It takes time to decide.
204
00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:11,792
Well, if he gets the penis,
do they throw in the balls?
205
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:15,000
Marty, I'm so sorry
about Kenny.
206
00:08:15,001 --> 00:08:16,959
Is there anything we can do?
207
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,834
I'd love you to come
to the memorial.
208
00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:21,000
- Oh, we wouldn't miss it.
- I appreciate it.
209
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,959
Sorry, we have an
early dinner to go to.
210
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,208
Dinner? It's 3:30.
211
00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:29,041
- Dinner?
- Hey, you better be at the memorial.
212
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,418
Oh, one sec.
213
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:36,583
Hey, Cheryl, um,
let me ask you a question.
214
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,792
When you're at
Dr. Templeton's office...
215
00:08:38,793 --> 00:08:40,625
we share the same therapist...
216
00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:44,125
you ever notice how his chair
is so much better and bigger
217
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:46,875
than that dinky chair
that he gives to us?
218
00:08:46,876 --> 00:08:49,500
I've never thought about the
chair when I was in therapy.
219
00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:51,291
What... what do you
think about that?
220
00:08:51,292 --> 00:08:53,750
I'm just so happy you're seeing
somebody, pal, I really do.
221
00:08:53,751 --> 00:08:55,667
I think it's great.
Do you like him?
222
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,917
I'm only seeing him because of the
whole fatwa business, that's all.
223
00:08:57,918 --> 00:08:58,617
Believe me.
224
00:08:58,618 --> 00:09:01,458
Well, don't make me sorry that
I recommended him to you.
225
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,000
I'm not talking about you.
226
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,083
- Okay.
- Are you talking about me?
227
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:07,250
- We should go. Yeah.
- Yeah.
228
00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:09,333
All I'm saying is
next time you're there,
229
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:11,625
just be kind of aware
of the chairs
230
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:13,834
and the striking difference
between the two,
231
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:15,834
and tell me that
I'm not crazy.
232
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:18,291
Uh, we do have
reservations at Mélisse.
233
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,834
- Do you know Mélisse? Ah!
- Mélisse?
234
00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:21,458
Good choice.
It's truffle season.
235
00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:22,959
What?
236
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,333
How do you know
it's truffle season?
237
00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:25,667
Dr. Templeton told me.
238
00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:27,834
What do you talk about
in your sessions?
239
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:31,208
- That's okay. That's okay. Okay.
- He loves truffles!
240
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,001
Ay, dah!
241
00:09:56,376 --> 00:09:59,291
There's not enough room to get my
hand in there to get the penis out.
242
00:09:59,292 --> 00:10:02,166
I've never really come
across this problem before.
243
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:04,542
Can't get my penis
out of my pants?
244
00:10:04,543 --> 00:10:06,542
Have you ever heard
of a short fly?
245
00:10:06,543 --> 00:10:09,792
And I'm not gonna unbutton and
have them drop on the floor.
246
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,333
Look, here's a solution...
247
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:15,375
index finger,
you take it, you go down,
248
00:10:15,376 --> 00:10:18,041
put it in your zipper,
press down on the shaft,
249
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,667
allows your head to pop up.
250
00:10:19,668 --> 00:10:21,208
- Pop up by itself.
- Huh.
251
00:10:21,209 --> 00:10:24,166
- Press, pop up.
- Like tiddlywinks.
252
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,375
Yeah, like tiddlywinks.
253
00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:27,667
Those pants might've
been manufactured
254
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,959
in a country that has
small penises.
255
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,417
So these pants fit the penis
from whence they came.
256
00:10:33,418 --> 00:10:34,592
You're goddamn right.
257
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:37,792
Why would they make a little fly
in a country with big-ass dicks?
258
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:39,125
See, I'ma tell you,
I don't have that problem
259
00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:40,583
'cause I buy my shit
from Jamaica.
260
00:10:40,584 --> 00:10:42,166
My pants are slacks.
261
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:43,917
The manufacturer,
he makes jeans
262
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:47,000
for people with big-ass
fucking johnsons, like me.
263
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,041
- Wow.
- When I go to the bathroom
264
00:10:49,042 --> 00:10:50,792
and I sit down on the toilet,
265
00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:53,208
my johnson hangs in the water.
266
00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:57,583
That's just such nonsense.
267
00:10:57,584 --> 00:10:58,750
What are you
saying that for?
268
00:10:58,751 --> 00:10:59,917
I sit on the fucking toilet,
269
00:10:59,918 --> 00:11:01,291
my shit goes under the water
270
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:02,583
like... like this.
271
00:11:02,584 --> 00:11:04,083
It's almost like
it grabs its fucking head
272
00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:05,417
and just like...
and it goes in like this.
273
00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:06,917
- Bullshit.
- All the fucking time.
274
00:11:06,918 --> 00:11:08,709
- Penis touching the... hey!
- When I sit down...
275
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,250
Hey.
276
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:12,251
Front door was unlocked.
277
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:14,792
- What?
- What?
278
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:16,125
You left the door
unlocked again?
279
00:11:16,126 --> 00:11:17,459
We never had that
conversation, ever.
280
00:11:19,126 --> 00:11:20,542
I gotta talk to you quickly.
281
00:11:20,543 --> 00:11:21,875
You're having lunch
with Lewis, right?
282
00:11:21,876 --> 00:11:23,458
- Yeah.
- Okay, get there early.
283
00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:25,667
Oh, yeah, 'cause he takes
the good seat, yeah.
284
00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:26,592
What's wrong with him?
285
00:11:26,593 --> 00:11:28,792
I've never had lunch
with him in 20 years
286
00:11:28,793 --> 00:11:30,625
where I haven't been
looking at a wall.
287
00:11:30,626 --> 00:11:34,417
I say trick him the next time
in terms of what time lunch is.
288
00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:36,960
No, I'm just gonna show up
a half hour earlier.
289
00:11:39,793 --> 00:11:42,041
Uh, can we just have
a moment alone?
290
00:11:42,042 --> 00:11:44,500
Once I start laughing,
I'm a part of this shit.
291
00:11:44,501 --> 00:11:46,709
Get the fuck out.
You heard him.
292
00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:47,959
- It's all good.
- Yeah.
293
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,000
Let you handle your business.
294
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:53,000
I'm trying to be casual,
295
00:11:53,001 --> 00:11:54,542
but it's really difficult.
296
00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:56,625
Remember the realtor
from the art gallery?
297
00:11:56,626 --> 00:12:00,208
- Yeah.
- Well, she had an open house,
298
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:03,792
and let's just say it stayed
open a little longer for me.
299
00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:05,750
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
300
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:08,834
- You had sex with her in an open house?
- In an open house.
301
00:12:08,835 --> 00:12:11,208
- That's unbelievable.
- Unbelievable.
302
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,333
And you know they have
cookies at the open houses.
303
00:12:13,334 --> 00:12:14,066
Yeah.
304
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,166
Brought the cookies up with me,
so we had sex...
305
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:18,291
- Oh, my God.
- ...I had some cookies, took a nap.
306
00:12:18,292 --> 00:12:22,250
- On what?
- Well, they have the staging furniture.
307
00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:25,333
- Wow.
- Oh, wow, mm.
308
00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:26,834
- Why? What?
- What are you doing,
309
00:12:26,835 --> 00:12:27,875
listening in
to our conversation?
310
00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:29,166
Fuck, yeah, I was.
311
00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:30,333
He's listening
to the whole thing?
312
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:32,000
Yes!
313
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,875
You said leave, you didn't
say I couldn't come back.
314
00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:37,001
Now tell me where that
fucking house is at.
315
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,959
So, now I'm having
this nightmare.
316
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,208
I'm in this room,
maybe it's a hall of some kind,
317
00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:46,917
I can't really tell,
and there's a lot of people,
318
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:49,875
it's very crowded, and I'm
feeling a lot of anxiety.
319
00:12:49,876 --> 00:12:52,250
And then all of a sudden,
I look up at this balcony
320
00:12:52,251 --> 00:12:54,375
and... and I see this guy,
321
00:12:54,376 --> 00:12:56,333
and he's wearing a big coat,
322
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,792
and I know this is it,
this is the fatwa!
323
00:12:58,793 --> 00:13:01,291
This is it and I can't get out,
I'm trapped!
324
00:13:01,292 --> 00:13:03,750
Can I stop you right there
for a second?
325
00:13:03,751 --> 00:13:06,208
Can I tell you what
is really on my mind?
326
00:13:06,209 --> 00:13:08,166
I have a little
bit of an issue.
327
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:12,375
- Please.
- Cheryl was in just the other day...
328
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,625
Mm-hmm.
329
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,583
...and she brought me a gift.
330
00:13:16,584 --> 00:13:20,750
You see this lovely
assortment of truffle oils?
331
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:23,458
Huh, what do you know
about that?
332
00:13:23,459 --> 00:13:25,667
How did Cheryl know
333
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,750
that my wife and
I love truffles?
334
00:13:28,751 --> 00:13:29,967
You told Cheryl.
335
00:13:29,968 --> 00:13:33,667
Yeah, I told her you...
you love truffles, yeah.
336
00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:37,500
There's been a breach of the
patient-doctor confidentiality.
337
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:40,709
There's no such thing as
patient-doctor confidentiality.
338
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,417
I think what you're
referring to
339
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:44,417
is doctor-patient
confidentiality,
340
00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:47,083
and that's a whole
different ball game.
341
00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:49,375
Larry, what I try
to create here
342
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:51,417
is a circle of trust.
343
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:54,083
And... can I have
your arms for a second?
344
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:54,992
I'd rather not.
345
00:13:54,993 --> 00:13:56,792
All right. Well,
then I'll do it with my own arms.
346
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:58,917
- Yeah, use your own arms.
- Here it is like this...
347
00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:00,291
- Yeah.
- ...and it creates a circle.
348
00:14:00,292 --> 00:14:01,667
- Mm-hmm.
- And quite frankly,
349
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,500
nothing should
leave this circle.
350
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,291
It should be ironclad.
351
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:07,583
All right,
I... I apologize
352
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:10,125
if I betrayed
your confidence in any way,
353
00:14:10,126 --> 00:14:13,125
and you have my word
354
00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:17,125
that it will never,
ever happen again.
355
00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:20,000
Larry, I think
this is a breakthrough.
356
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:21,125
No, it's not
a breakthrough.
357
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,375
I think it's a breakthrough.
358
00:14:22,376 --> 00:14:23,709
It's not a breakthrough.
359
00:14:23,710 --> 00:14:25,125
I'm pretty sure
it's a breakthrough.
360
00:14:25,126 --> 00:14:27,208
I'm gonna write down
"breakthrough."
361
00:14:27,209 --> 00:14:29,166
You writing down "breakthrough"
is just a waste of everybody's time.
362
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,917
That whole pad,
you might as well throw it...
363
00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:32,917
- there's nothing in that pad.
- "Breakthrough."
364
00:14:32,918 --> 00:14:35,250
Anything else on your mind?
365
00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:38,959
You know, I've got
these pants, okay,
366
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,000
and they have a short fly.
367
00:14:42,001 --> 00:14:45,583
Very hard to, uh,
extricate the penis.
368
00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,041
You ever had a pair
of pants like that
369
00:14:47,042 --> 00:14:48,542
where you can't get
your penis out?
370
00:14:48,543 --> 00:14:50,583
Once, I think, a while ago,
371
00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:52,250
and someone told me of a method...
372
00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:54,417
I think you unzip,
373
00:14:54,418 --> 00:14:58,959
you dive down
with your index finger,
374
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,041
- and... pop up.
- Pops up.
375
00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:02,375
- The tiddlywink...
- Tiddlywink!
376
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:03,917
- Yeah!
- Yeah. That might work.
377
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:05,333
My friend told me
the same thing.
378
00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:08,333
Listen, Barneys Warehouse
is having a sale...
379
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,083
- Mm-hmm.
- ...and I'm sure they have
380
00:15:10,084 --> 00:15:13,667
a variety of long-fly slacks.
381
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:15,333
All right, maybe
I'll check it out.
382
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:18,166
Well, I see that
it is time to go.
383
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,668
Do you know how I know that?
384
00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:23,917
Wait a second!
385
00:15:23,918 --> 00:15:25,709
Ho, ho! Look at that!
386
00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:29,709
Ah! I cannot tell you
how happy I am about that.
387
00:15:29,710 --> 00:15:31,875
It has made my life easier.
388
00:15:31,876 --> 00:15:33,542
You see?
Everything's working.
389
00:15:33,543 --> 00:15:35,208
All we gotta do
is fix these chairs.
390
00:15:35,209 --> 00:15:38,375
I will call you first if I ever
decide to go chair shopping.
391
00:15:38,376 --> 00:15:39,917
- Excellent.
- Thank you.
392
00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:41,333
- All right.
- All right, Larry.
393
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:46,542
Good afternoon.
394
00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:48,375
Good afternoon.
Welcome to Rustic Canyon.
395
00:15:48,376 --> 00:15:51,041
I have a reservation
for David.
396
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:54,375
I'm about, uh,
20 minutes early.
397
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:55,667
Fantastic.
398
00:15:55,668 --> 00:15:56,876
Ah, the rest of your party
has already arrived.
399
00:16:03,876 --> 00:16:05,875
It's unbelievable.
400
00:16:05,876 --> 00:16:08,375
- How long's he been here?
- About 10 minutes.
401
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,917
- Ah.
- Yeah.
402
00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:11,584
- Okay, thank you.
- Enjoy.
403
00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:19,583
- Did you get here early enough?
- I got here when I got here.
404
00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:21,417
I'm here 20 minutes early,
405
00:16:21,418 --> 00:16:23,750
and he said you were here
10 minutes before me.
406
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:26,959
That puts you here a half
hour before the reservation.
407
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,667
Well, you got here early, too.
408
00:16:28,668 --> 00:16:30,750
Yeah, because I wanted
to beat you to the good seat,
409
00:16:30,751 --> 00:16:32,166
'cause you always
have to get the good seat.
410
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:33,850
- That's not true.
- It is true.
411
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:34,860
Come on, I got this fatwa.
412
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,500
I can't sit here with
my back to the door.
413
00:16:36,501 --> 00:16:37,917
I already ordered something
414
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:39,709
and I've touched
all the... all the...
415
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,750
That doesn't mean anything.
We'll get new silverware.
416
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,083
You'll get a disease
or something.
417
00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:44,250
So, you're not gonna
let me sit there?
418
00:16:44,251 --> 00:16:45,709
No fucking way.
419
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:47,625
You know what?
The next time we have lunch,
420
00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:50,166
you better set your alarm
for 7:00 in the morning.
421
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:52,917
I'm setting my alarm
for 6:30, you prick.
422
00:16:52,918 --> 00:16:55,250
Is that so?
I'll be staying up all night
423
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:58,083
waiting outside that door
for them to open it.
424
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,458
I'll be here before the owner.
425
00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:01,250
Yeah? Well, I got news for you.
I got perks.
426
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:04,625
They bought my picture,
so I'm gonna sleep in the kitchen.
427
00:17:04,626 --> 00:17:06,625
You lost, pal.
428
00:17:10,126 --> 00:17:13,750
Oh, yeah! Oh!
Close that deal!
429
00:17:13,751 --> 00:17:15,625
- You close the deal!
- You close the deal!
430
00:17:15,626 --> 00:17:18,542
- You close the deal!
- Make me an offer!
431
00:17:19,626 --> 00:17:20,875
Ooh!
432
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:28,083
I've seen every house
that's for sale in Brentwood,
433
00:17:28,084 --> 00:17:32,166
and I've had sex in every house
that's for sale in Brentwood.
434
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:35,250
We even had sex in a house
that was in escrow.
435
00:17:35,251 --> 00:17:37,208
- Yes.
- You don't have to worry about hotels,
436
00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:38,333
- anything like that.
- Nothing.
437
00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:40,083
You go to these houses.
438
00:17:40,084 --> 00:17:41,917
And let's say I'm driving
around a different neighborhood
439
00:17:41,918 --> 00:17:43,583
and I see a house
that's for sale,
440
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,166
gets me kind of horny.
441
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:48,667
She is not only
a good-looking woman,
442
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,083
- but she's so stylish.
- Very sharp.
443
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:53,083
- She's very sharp.
- I need to up my game.
444
00:17:53,084 --> 00:17:55,000
It's... now, don't get me wrong,
it's a nice suit,
445
00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:56,667
but it's
four years old.
446
00:17:56,668 --> 00:17:59,083
You know what? Barneys
is having a warehouse sale.
447
00:17:59,084 --> 00:18:00,375
The fuck do you know from
448
00:18:00,376 --> 00:18:02,083
Barneys having
a warehouse sale?
449
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:03,834
Never thought I'd hear those
words coming out of your mouth.
450
00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:05,542
I... I heard.
451
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,917
What do you mean, you heard?
452
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,000
Who would've told you that?
453
00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:09,291
I don't know.
454
00:18:09,292 --> 00:18:11,208
- I just heard somewhere.
- You heard?
455
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:12,917
You wanna explain yourself?
456
00:18:12,918 --> 00:18:15,875
Would you like to tell me
what I need to explain?
457
00:18:15,876 --> 00:18:18,125
Well, I just got off the
phone with Jane Kleinberg
458
00:18:18,126 --> 00:18:22,166
and she told me she saw you
in a car with another woman.
459
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,083
Well, do you know
who that woman is?
460
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:27,458
- No, I do not.
- She is a realtor.
461
00:18:27,459 --> 00:18:30,542
- Yeah.
- And I am looking for houses.
462
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:33,792
I was surprising you
by buying a house.
463
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:35,083
- Really?
- Yeah.
464
00:18:35,084 --> 00:18:36,542
He was just telling me
all about it,
465
00:18:36,543 --> 00:18:38,375
and now you ruined
the surprise.
466
00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:39,917
Well, that's very
sweet of you.
467
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,542
It is very sweet of me.
468
00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:44,375
How about this guy, huh?
You're a lucky woman.
469
00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:47,583
Thank you for the surprise
and I'm sorry to ruin,
470
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,750
but... you know,
I never know with you two.
471
00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:54,291
He's a beautiful man.
A beautiful man.
472
00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:55,626
That's right.
473
00:19:06,876 --> 00:19:08,583
- You working here?
- Yes.
474
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:11,208
Hey, could you do me a favor?
475
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,125
I want to sit
in the last row,
476
00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:15,000
in the seat that's
closest to the door.
477
00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:17,083
Can you reserve that for me?
Could you do that?
478
00:19:17,084 --> 00:19:19,583
I'm sorry.
We don't save seats.
479
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:20,875
You don't save seats?
480
00:19:20,876 --> 00:19:22,500
What is that?
That's a policy?
481
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:26,083
It's a memorial
and that's not part of it.
482
00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:29,542
What about we make a little...
483
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:30,959
we make a little deal?
484
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,959
You get a little paid
for your trouble, huh?
485
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,417
It's five bucks.
486
00:19:37,418 --> 00:19:39,375
Okay.
487
00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:41,583
- Is that better? Huh?
- Which seat was it again?
488
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:44,291
- It was the last row?
- The last row, closest to the door.
489
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,417
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Yeah.
490
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,083
- You got it.
- Thank you.
491
00:19:48,084 --> 00:19:49,375
You're welcome.
492
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:52,166
...a very troubled family.
493
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,084
Hey.
494
00:19:56,918 --> 00:19:59,083
Hmm.
495
00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:01,834
- Okay.
- Okay.
496
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:03,250
- Cheryl.
- Hey.
497
00:20:03,251 --> 00:20:04,917
Hey.
498
00:20:04,918 --> 00:20:06,917
What's Dr. Templeton
doing here?
499
00:20:06,918 --> 00:20:09,959
Oh, you know, Marty is
having such a hard time
500
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,583
- with this whole thing.
- Is he?
501
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:13,834
So I suggested that
he talk to Lionel.
502
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:16,667
- Lionel?
- Dr. Templeton.
503
00:20:16,668 --> 00:20:19,125
You know, this is odd, though,
because when he passed me,
504
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:21,750
I gave him a very
friendly hello.
505
00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:23,166
I went, "Hey!"
506
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:26,208
And I get back...
507
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:29,834
And I couldn't tell if it
was a typical funeral nod
508
00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:32,291
or if he's angry with me
509
00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:35,166
because I want to change
the chair in the office.
510
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,667
Well, it seems like
it would be odd
511
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:39,166
for him to give you
a big hello at a funeral.
512
00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:42,041
- I'm not asking for a big hello, Cheryl.
- A young man died
513
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:44,250
and needs all of his
friends and family.
514
00:20:44,251 --> 00:20:46,625
I'm asking for, you know,
a friendly hello.
515
00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:48,250
"Ah." That's not big.
516
00:20:48,251 --> 00:20:51,166
You know, maybe you should
make it less about you.
517
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,500
And by the way, you really
got me in a lot of trouble...
518
00:20:53,501 --> 00:20:54,875
- Why?
- ...with Dr. Templeton.
519
00:20:54,876 --> 00:20:56,625
Because you told him
that I said
520
00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:57,709
that he likes truffles.
521
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:59,625
I got him truffle oil
as a gift.
522
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,375
I didn't... wasn't
even talking about you.
523
00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:02,792
- How...?
- Well, he said it was a breach
524
00:21:02,793 --> 00:21:04,709
of patient-doctor
confidentiality,
525
00:21:04,710 --> 00:21:06,250
which there's
really no such thing.
526
00:21:06,251 --> 00:21:07,875
Okay, well, then,
you know what?
527
00:21:07,876 --> 00:21:10,625
We should respect Lionel
and his process and...
528
00:21:10,626 --> 00:21:12,542
You don't have to keep
calling him Lionel.
529
00:21:12,543 --> 00:21:15,083
Maybe it's getting
too complicated
530
00:21:15,084 --> 00:21:17,083
having the same therapist.
531
00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:19,291
Gotta say, you're looking sharp,
sweetheart.
532
00:21:19,292 --> 00:21:21,667
I like this three-piece.
I like the whole look.
533
00:21:21,668 --> 00:21:22,875
- Yeah?
- This slims you.
534
00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:24,625
It holds you in, it's great.
535
00:21:24,626 --> 00:21:25,174
I...
536
00:21:25,175 --> 00:21:26,375
Where'd you get that?
Barneys, you said?
537
00:21:26,376 --> 00:21:29,625
- Barneys Warehouse sale.
- Barneys Warehouse sale?
538
00:21:29,626 --> 00:21:31,875
How the fuck did you know
about Barneys Warehouse sale?
539
00:21:31,876 --> 00:21:33,583
Uh, Larry told me.
540
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:35,842
Larry told you about
Barneys Warehouse sale?
541
00:21:35,843 --> 00:21:36,542
Yeah.
542
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:38,417
I find that very
difficult to believe.
543
00:21:38,418 --> 00:21:41,083
- Why do you even give a shit?
- Larry! Lar!
544
00:21:41,084 --> 00:21:42,417
Come over here.
545
00:21:42,418 --> 00:21:43,917
There's always something
up with you two
546
00:21:43,918 --> 00:21:45,250
that I can't trust,
you know that?
547
00:21:45,251 --> 00:21:48,250
Did you tell Jeff about
Barneys Warehouse sale?
548
00:21:48,251 --> 00:21:50,291
- Yeah.
- Where'd you hear about that from?
549
00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:52,709
That's so not you.
550
00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:55,125
Uh, I can't say.
551
00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:57,125
What do you mean
you can't say?
552
00:21:57,126 --> 00:22:01,166
I can't say who told me
about Barneys Warehouse sale.
553
00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:03,000
I'm not at liberty to say.
554
00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:04,917
It's a fucking sale, Larry.
555
00:22:04,918 --> 00:22:06,959
Who gives a shit?
Just tell me who told you.
556
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,125
No, I will not
and cannot tell you
557
00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:14,333
who told me about
Barneys Warehouse sale.
558
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,083
All right, this is sounding
like bullshit now.
559
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:18,500
This sounds like another one of
your mishegoss bullshit thing.
560
00:22:18,501 --> 00:22:22,166
- It's not a mishegoss. Just tell her.
- That is confidential information,
561
00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:25,750
which I will never reveal
under any circumstances.
562
00:22:25,751 --> 00:22:27,291
Larry didn't tell you
about Barneys Warehouse.
563
00:22:27,292 --> 00:22:29,000
- He told me about Barneys.
- No, he did not.
564
00:22:30,793 --> 00:22:31,959
That I cannot say!
565
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,500
Not today,
not tomorrow, not ever!
566
00:22:35,501 --> 00:22:36,434
That's it!
567
00:22:36,435 --> 00:22:37,834
All right, you're
a fucking liar, Jeff.
568
00:22:37,835 --> 00:22:38,817
I'm not a liar!
569
00:22:38,818 --> 00:22:40,417
There's something you're
not telling me.
570
00:22:40,418 --> 00:22:42,458
Dr. Templeton!
571
00:22:42,459 --> 00:22:45,458
- Hey!
- Honey, I'll be right in.
572
00:22:45,459 --> 00:22:49,667
Hey. Listen, I... I happened
to overhear that conversation,
573
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:52,625
and I'm very appreciative
that you respected
574
00:22:52,626 --> 00:22:54,208
the patient-doctor
confidentiality.
575
00:22:54,209 --> 00:22:55,458
Hey, you're welcome.
576
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:56,917
You know, when somebody
tells me something,
577
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:57,917
I take it to heart.
578
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,083
Glad to hear that.
579
00:22:59,084 --> 00:23:00,583
You know, I noticed
580
00:23:00,584 --> 00:23:02,792
when I said hello
to you earlier,
581
00:23:02,793 --> 00:23:04,709
I gave you
a very hearty hello
582
00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:08,166
and your response
was kind of grim.
583
00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:11,000
- Was that a funeral hello?
- Well, very observant.
584
00:23:11,001 --> 00:23:14,792
It was a downward nod
indicating a solemn hello
585
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:17,333
as opposed
to an upward nod
586
00:23:17,334 --> 00:23:19,834
where it would be
a more joyous occasion.
587
00:23:19,835 --> 00:23:21,500
Gotcha. So, you're
not mad at me?
588
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,625
Oh, no, no, no, I'm not...
I'm not mad at you at all.
589
00:23:24,626 --> 00:23:27,000
Have you considered
my generous offer
590
00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:28,417
to go chair shopping with you?
591
00:23:28,418 --> 00:23:32,500
I have considered it, yes,
and I am declining it.
592
00:23:32,501 --> 00:23:34,667
- Huh.
- I think if I go chair shopping,
593
00:23:34,668 --> 00:23:36,834
I'll... I'll do it by myself.
594
00:23:36,835 --> 00:23:37,608
Thank you.
595
00:23:37,609 --> 00:23:39,208
Well, you'll be making the
same mistake all over again.
596
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:40,875
You'll have
a substandard chair
597
00:23:40,876 --> 00:23:42,208
and a lot of unhappy clients.
598
00:23:42,209 --> 00:23:45,166
That presumes a mistake
was made initially.
599
00:23:45,167 --> 00:23:47,208
- Hmm.
- Now, if you'll excuse me,
600
00:23:47,209 --> 00:23:48,750
Mrs. Templeton
is waiting for me.
601
00:23:48,751 --> 00:23:51,041
- How is Mrs. Templeton?
- She's quite well.
602
00:23:51,042 --> 00:23:53,709
I'd like to...
I'd like to meet her.
603
00:23:53,710 --> 00:23:57,792
I don't think that is necessary,
really, Larry.
604
00:23:57,793 --> 00:24:00,208
- Do you?
- Cheryl tells me that she met her.
605
00:24:00,209 --> 00:24:03,834
Oh, yes. Cheryl and Mrs. Templeton
are quite friendly.
606
00:24:03,835 --> 00:24:07,041
So, why can Cheryl meet
her and not me?
607
00:24:07,042 --> 00:24:08,150
I don't get that.
608
00:24:08,251 --> 00:24:10,150
Well, Mrs. Templeton has
already indicated
609
00:24:10,251 --> 00:24:11,875
that she would rather
not meet you.
610
00:24:11,876 --> 00:24:13,250
Hmm. Well, in any event,
611
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:15,166
please give my regards
to Mrs. Templeton.
612
00:24:15,167 --> 00:24:16,750
I probably won't.
613
00:24:16,751 --> 00:24:20,041
Well, if you change your mind,
Lionel, you'll let me know.
614
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,959
Oh, Larry.
615
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,500
Would it be all right
if you continued
616
00:24:23,501 --> 00:24:26,041
to refer to me
as Dr. Templeton?
617
00:24:33,334 --> 00:24:36,500
Shalom and welcome
to the celebration of life
618
00:24:36,501 --> 00:24:38,750
of Kenny Funkhouser.
619
00:24:38,751 --> 00:24:42,417
We begin today with the
traditional memorial prayer,
620
00:24:42,418 --> 00:24:45,375
Kel Maleh Rachamim.
621
00:24:45,376 --> 00:24:49,918
♪ Kel maleh rachamim... ♪
622
00:24:51,793 --> 00:24:54,667
- Hey, that's my seat.
- What are you talking about?
623
00:24:54,668 --> 00:24:56,417
I reserved...
I reserved that seat.
624
00:24:56,418 --> 00:24:58,667
I gave the guy 20 bucks to reserve...
look, here's the sign.
625
00:24:58,668 --> 00:25:00,542
- You threw it on the floor?
- Fuck the reserved sign.
626
00:25:00,543 --> 00:25:02,750
This is a memorial service,
not a Knick game.
627
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:03,717
You gotta respect
the reserved sign.
628
00:25:03,718 --> 00:25:04,917
This is the worst seat
in the whole house.
629
00:25:04,918 --> 00:25:06,616
I did it because the
bathroom's 10 feet away...
630
00:25:06,617 --> 00:25:07,417
Look. See?
631
00:25:07,418 --> 00:25:09,250
It's a reserved sign. You can't
just throw it on the floor.
632
00:25:09,251 --> 00:25:10,792
It should say "asshole,"
not "reserved."
633
00:25:10,793 --> 00:25:12,583
Do me a favor and
beat it, will ya?
634
00:25:12,584 --> 00:25:14,792
- Just get outta here.
- I got a fatwa I gotta deal with, here.
635
00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:17,083
- I need that seat.
- I'm sorry about your fatwa,
636
00:25:17,084 --> 00:25:19,291
but I got a problem
with my urinary tract.
637
00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:20,959
You always have to have
the good seat, don't you?
638
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,917
Always. That was my seat!
You took it again!
639
00:25:22,918 --> 00:25:24,291
- It wasn't your seat.
- You took it again!
640
00:25:24,292 --> 00:25:25,667
You took it again!
You took it again!
641
00:25:25,668 --> 00:25:26,792
- Shh!
- I didn't.
642
00:25:26,793 --> 00:25:28,125
The Lord is his portion.
643
00:25:28,126 --> 00:25:29,583
What happened to the seat?
644
00:25:29,584 --> 00:25:31,250
- I gave you $20.
- May he rest in peace.
645
00:25:31,251 --> 00:25:33,333
I know, I reserved it,
but he just ignored it.
646
00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:34,834
- Amen.
- Amen.
647
00:25:34,835 --> 00:25:36,208
Get him outta there!
648
00:25:36,209 --> 00:25:38,250
- He's a mourner.
- He's not mourning!
649
00:25:38,251 --> 00:25:40,792
If he's mourning, it's 'cause
he's losing his hair on the top.
650
00:25:40,793 --> 00:25:43,250
- That's what he's mourning.
- I'm an usher, I'm not a bouncer.
651
00:25:43,251 --> 00:25:44,875
Okay, you know what?
Forget it.
652
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,625
You're the last usher
I ever bribe.
653
00:25:46,626 --> 00:25:49,750
Fear not death.
We are all destined to die.
654
00:25:49,751 --> 00:25:51,750
- We share it with all who ever lived.
- Is this taken?
655
00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:54,041
- It's reserved.
- Oh, okay, great.
656
00:25:54,042 --> 00:25:56,583
Death is better
than a life of pain,
657
00:25:56,584 --> 00:25:58,792
- and eternal rest than constant sickness.
- Oh, hello, Mrs. Templeton.
658
00:25:58,793 --> 00:26:01,750
Larry, do not address
Mrs. Templeton.
659
00:26:01,751 --> 00:26:03,625
I hope you're enjoying
truffle season.
660
00:26:03,626 --> 00:26:05,625
- Larry, find a seat.
- Okay.
661
00:26:05,626 --> 00:26:07,792
- ...as a grain of sand...
- Sorry.
662
00:26:07,793 --> 00:26:10,250
- ...the good things in life...
- Who's she?
663
00:26:10,251 --> 00:26:13,000
- I'm Kenny's cousin.
- It's none of your business, anyway.
664
00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:14,750
- Go find a seat.
- Why didn't you save me a seat?
665
00:26:14,751 --> 00:26:16,542
You didn't ask me
to save you a seat.
666
00:26:16,543 --> 00:26:20,041
- Hey.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
667
00:26:20,042 --> 00:26:22,083
I'd like to bring forward
Kenny's uncle,
668
00:26:22,084 --> 00:26:25,166
Martin Funkhouser,
who would like to say a few words.
669
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,500
- Great.
- Martin, please?
670
00:26:27,501 --> 00:26:29,583
- Thank you, Rabbi Dorfman.
- Oh, sorry.
671
00:26:29,584 --> 00:26:32,500
I would like to take a
moment to acknowledge
672
00:26:32,501 --> 00:26:34,792
my former beautiful
daughter Jodi,
673
00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:36,542
who's now
my handsome son Joey.
674
00:26:36,543 --> 00:26:38,041
- I love you, Joey.
- Thank you. I love you.
675
00:26:38,042 --> 00:26:40,041
- Keep up the good work.
- Thank you.
676
00:26:40,042 --> 00:26:42,875
Kenny Funkhouser was my nephew.
677
00:26:42,876 --> 00:26:44,542
He was a golden child.
678
00:26:44,543 --> 00:26:46,583
He was a straight-A student.
679
00:26:46,584 --> 00:26:49,625
A great athlete who
was going to Stanford.
680
00:26:49,626 --> 00:26:51,500
All-American baseball player.
681
00:26:51,501 --> 00:26:53,834
Hey, hey, hey, come on,
come on.
682
00:26:53,835 --> 00:26:57,000
- That's way too loud.
- Okay, okay, okay.
683
00:26:57,001 --> 00:26:59,208
Just whimper.
Can you whimper?
684
00:26:59,209 --> 00:27:02,959
This is a day of
celebrating Kenny's life.
685
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,333
What are you doing?
686
00:27:04,334 --> 00:27:06,208
Go cry outside,
for God's sake.
687
00:27:06,209 --> 00:27:09,208
- He's so young.
- Ah, come on, it's enough already.
688
00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:11,250
I can't hear a thing.
689
00:27:11,251 --> 00:27:12,917
- Shut up.
- Okay, okay.
690
00:27:12,918 --> 00:27:15,750
Let me say some things
about Kenny Funkhouser.
691
00:27:15,751 --> 00:27:18,000
Kenny is with us.
692
00:27:18,001 --> 00:27:20,125
He will always be with us.
693
00:27:20,126 --> 00:27:22,417
And someday,
we'll see him again.
694
00:27:22,418 --> 00:27:25,125
Maybe play catch
with him, even.
695
00:27:25,126 --> 00:27:28,625
When we leave this service today,
let's not feel sad.
696
00:27:28,626 --> 00:27:32,750
Let's be upbeat, because that's
what Kenny would've wanted.
697
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:35,709
He was a very happy young man.
698
00:27:35,710 --> 00:27:37,500
Fatwa! He's got a gun!
699
00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:44,918
Ah! Oh, oh!
700
00:27:46,209 --> 00:27:48,583
Oh, my God!
701
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:51,542
Go, sweetie, this way.
Go out this way.
702
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,583
- No! Jesus!
- Wait, Ted!
703
00:27:54,584 --> 00:27:57,126
Go! Fatwa!
704
00:27:59,084 --> 00:28:00,792
- Come on.
- Hurry up!
705
00:28:00,793 --> 00:28:02,291
That's... hey!
706
00:28:02,292 --> 00:28:04,960
That's my friend, you idiot!
707
00:28:09,001 --> 00:28:11,917
Oh.
708
00:28:11,918 --> 00:28:14,458
Sorry.
709
00:28:18,418 --> 00:28:20,167
Sorry.
710
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,542
So, as you can see, great flow.
711
00:28:24,543 --> 00:28:26,000
We're just gonna move
through here.
712
00:28:26,001 --> 00:28:28,542
Let me show you why
this is your house.
713
00:28:28,543 --> 00:28:31,041
Chef's kitchen,
you got silent dishwashers.
714
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,625
It's an entertainer's dream,
really.
715
00:28:32,626 --> 00:28:34,333
You could entertain
for 100 people here
716
00:28:34,334 --> 00:28:37,000
or you could entertain for two.
717
00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:39,000
- Wow.
- Floor to ceiling windows.
718
00:28:39,001 --> 00:28:39,842
Pizza oven.
719
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:42,542
Uh-huh. And where's
the master bedroom?
720
00:28:42,543 --> 00:28:45,917
- The master bedroom is upstairs.
- Okay.
721
00:28:45,918 --> 00:28:48,834
And we could take
the grand staircase
722
00:28:48,835 --> 00:28:51,667
or we could take the elevator.
723
00:28:51,668 --> 00:28:53,333
Elevator.
724
00:29:03,584 --> 00:29:06,583
This is your own
little sanctuary.
725
00:29:06,584 --> 00:29:09,667
Beautiful, spacious room.
Lots of morning light.
726
00:29:09,668 --> 00:29:11,875
- Beautiful place to wake up.
- Uh-huh.
727
00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:13,709
Just a great energy
in here overall.
728
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:16,375
Mm-hmm. Furniture
come with the house?
729
00:29:16,376 --> 00:29:18,083
No, the furniture is staged,
730
00:29:18,084 --> 00:29:21,000
but I could talk to the
designer about throwing it in.
731
00:29:21,001 --> 00:29:24,166
You like this bed, Jeff?
732
00:29:24,167 --> 00:29:27,709
- Negotiable on the price or what?
- They're firm with the price.
733
00:29:27,710 --> 00:29:30,041
It's out of our price range.
734
00:29:30,042 --> 00:29:31,875
- Come on.
- We'll take it.
735
00:29:31,876 --> 00:29:34,166
- Huh?
- We'll take it.
736
00:29:34,167 --> 00:29:36,667
Sold. Congratulations.
737
00:29:42,751 --> 00:29:44,333
I gotta tell you something.
738
00:29:44,334 --> 00:29:47,125
I never thought I was
gonna get you down here.
739
00:29:47,126 --> 00:29:48,834
- This is nice.
- Let's see.
740
00:29:48,835 --> 00:29:50,375
Try that.
741
00:29:50,376 --> 00:29:52,166
What do you think?
742
00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:54,375
- No, I don't think so. No.
- I don't think so, either.
743
00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:55,459
- Not this one.
- No.
744
00:29:57,918 --> 00:30:01,041
This isn't bad. It's got...
it's a bit of a rocker, here.
745
00:30:01,042 --> 00:30:02,543
Let's move to another chair.
746
00:30:04,251 --> 00:30:06,875
- All right.
- All right, I gotta say,
747
00:30:06,876 --> 00:30:11,041
this one, to me,
is a perfect chair.
748
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:13,125
I think my clients
would like this.
749
00:30:13,126 --> 00:30:14,458
- Great.
- Why not?
750
00:30:14,459 --> 00:30:17,000
Well, let me...
751
00:30:17,001 --> 00:30:19,250
Ooh, it's kind of pricey.
752
00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,083
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
753
00:30:21,084 --> 00:30:23,250
That's very generous
of you, Larry.
754
00:30:23,251 --> 00:30:26,083
Are you expecting me
to pay for this chair?
755
00:30:26,084 --> 00:30:28,083
That is all the time we have.
756
00:30:28,084 --> 00:30:30,251
And, well,
I'll see you next week.
757
00:30:31,793 --> 00:30:34,709
Okay? Thank you, Larry.57903
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