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1
00:00:52,839 --> 00:00:55,911
- [Thunder]
- Honey, I think this coffeepofs broken.
2
00:00:55,976 --> 00:00:58,422
It's not broken.
It's gurgling, isn't it?
3
00:00:58,478 --> 00:01:01,925
I know, it keeps gurgling and gurgling.
Is it supposed to gurgle that much?
4
00:01:01,982 --> 00:01:04,656
It gurgles like that
every morning.
5
00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:07,426
What flavorjellyjump-Up
do you want?
6
00:01:11,391 --> 00:01:13,462
Do I have to have something
thatjumps up?
7
00:01:14,728 --> 00:01:17,470
Couldn't I just have something
that lays there...
8
00:01:17,531 --> 00:01:19,670
like eggs or bacon?
9
00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:23,909
- You don't have time for that.
- I don't have time for something thatjumps up.
10
00:01:23,970 --> 00:01:27,440
Honey, if this thing ever stops gurgling,
call me at the office, will ya?
11
00:01:27,507 --> 00:01:31,922
Bob, what's bothering you
this morning?
12
00:01:31,978 --> 00:01:33,924
Nothing.
It's just that everything--
13
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:36,426
Nothing.
14
00:01:37,417 --> 00:01:39,658
Honey, where's my umbrella?
15
00:01:39,719 --> 00:01:41,665
I left it at the office.
16
00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:45,692
I suppose with everything else that's not
bothering you, that's not bothering you too, right?
17
00:01:45,759 --> 00:01:48,171
Right. Well, I can
help you with that.
18
00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:50,435
Why don't you borrow my umbrella?
19
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:55,713
Honey, this--
20
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:03,647
This isn't an umbrella for a man.
It's an umbrella for a nose.
21
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:07,783
Bob, it's bad luck
to open it in the house.
22
00:02:11,284 --> 00:02:13,764
It'd be worse luck
to open that on the street.
23
00:02:17,524 --> 00:02:21,836
Dr. Hartley, l-l've never felt
this low in my entire life.
24
00:02:21,895 --> 00:02:24,341
I know what you mean by that.
25
00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:26,343
And I have no one
but myself to blame.
26
00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:30,074
I should never have gone
to my old high school reunion.
27
00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:35,482
Everyone there seemed
so much younger than me.
28
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,918
Even my old teachers
seemed younger than me.
29
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:45,754
And everyone there
had so much more...
30
00:02:45,819 --> 00:02:48,197
hair than I have.
31
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,826
Mr. Carlin, you have
a full head of hair.
32
00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:53,667
Yeah, it's really
a good one, isn't it?
33
00:02:53,727 --> 00:02:56,537
- You mean it's a--
- Toup. Yeah.
34
00:02:59,566 --> 00:03:03,173
But don't tell anybody I wear a toup.
I can't stand for people to know it.
35
00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:07,514
Once people find out you wear one,
they-- they never look at your eyes.
36
00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:14,116
They, uh,just kind of
stare at your hairline.
37
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:17,059
Like you're doing right now.
38
00:03:17,117 --> 00:03:19,063
[Clears Throat]
Sorry, Mr. Carlin.
39
00:03:19,119 --> 00:03:21,065
It-- It is
a good one though.
40
00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:22,896
- You really think so?
- Yes.
41
00:03:22,956 --> 00:03:25,266
I don't believe you.
42
00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:31,701
Don't worry, Mr. Carlin.
Things are bound to get better, right?
43
00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:35,577
Oh, Mr. Carlin, good.
While you're here, I'll just save a stamp.
44
00:03:35,635 --> 00:03:38,275
Here's your bill.
45
00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:42,113
L-I wouldn't look at that today.
46
00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:47,286
- Have a nice day.
- Nobody's gonna have a nice day out there today.
47
00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:49,293
I never saw rain like that.
48
00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:55,824
I know it's gonna shrink.
49
00:04:01,227 --> 00:04:03,605
Carol, do I have
any more appointments today?
50
00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:06,940
Well, Miss McGinn called.
She wanted to come over and talk for a while.
51
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,503
Call her and make it tomorrow.
52
00:04:09,569 --> 00:04:12,106
It's not that serious anyway.
She's an actress...
53
00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:14,345
and she found out shejust
has three weeks to live.
54
00:04:14,407 --> 00:04:17,980
- Huh?
- No, no. She's an actress on a soap opera...
55
00:04:18,044 --> 00:04:20,786
and she's had three weeks
to live for the past two years.
56
00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:23,657
Ooh. I guess that's why
she sounded so upset.
57
00:04:23,717 --> 00:04:25,663
She said she got fired today.
58
00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:27,699
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
59
00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,667
That means she's dead.
60
00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:34,638
Yeah, you better have her come in.
But first, I better seejerry.
61
00:04:34,694 --> 00:04:37,538
And listen, Bob,
tell that actress not to worry...
62
00:04:37,597 --> 00:04:40,703
because I saw this soap opera one time
where this one lady died your tragic death...
63
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:44,112
and she came back
the very next week as her twin nun.
64
00:04:47,607 --> 00:04:50,884
- [Knocking]
- Come on in, Billy.
65
00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:56,126
You're not Billy.
You're Bob.
66
00:04:56,182 --> 00:04:58,788
You wanna see something fantastic?
67
00:04:58,852 --> 00:05:00,798
They're a kid's teeth.
68
00:05:00,854 --> 00:05:02,800
Well, yeah,
but it's the way I took them.
69
00:05:02,856 --> 00:05:06,360
I mean, notice the composition,
the contrast, the mood.
70
00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:12,665
They're real niceJerry,
but I got a million things on my mind.
71
00:05:12,732 --> 00:05:16,407
You know when I get feeling that way,
there's only one thing that really relaxes me.
72
00:05:16,469 --> 00:05:18,415
Get in the chair, Bob.
73
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:23,187
You're not gonna clean my teeth.
74
00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:25,189
No, no, we're not gonna
clean your teeth.
75
00:05:25,245 --> 00:05:28,089
Nowjust hop up there and relax.
Put your little feet up there.
76
00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:30,150
That-a-boy.
77
00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:33,197
Now, I'm gonna put you
in a comfortable position...
78
00:05:33,253 --> 00:05:35,199
and the secret is to relax.
79
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,235
Just let the chair
do all the work.
80
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:39,793
Yeah, this is niceJerry.
81
00:05:39,859 --> 00:05:42,465
I don't know. All week,
my head's been full, you know.
82
00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:47,442
LerryJen-y!
83
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:55,083
So, what's bothering you, Bob?
84
00:05:55,141 --> 00:05:57,314
Jerry, all day long,
you know, I sit in my office...
85
00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,948
and people come in
and they tell me their problems.
86
00:06:00,013 --> 00:06:02,357
And I don't mind that
'cause it's my job, you know, but--
87
00:06:02,415 --> 00:06:05,259
Then I go home
and I ask Emily how her day was...
88
00:06:05,318 --> 00:06:07,264
and then she tells me her problems.
89
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,596
I mean, I have no time
to myself, you know.
90
00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:12,000
No way to release
myself, you know.
91
00:06:12,058 --> 00:06:15,972
I mean, the only time I'm relaxed
is when I'm alone here with you.
92
00:06:18,965 --> 00:06:20,911
Gee, that's kinda nice.
Thank you, Bob.
93
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,447
I mean, I should take the advice
that I give my patients.
94
00:06:23,503 --> 00:06:28,976
You know, they should just
get all by themselves alone and depressurize.
95
00:06:29,042 --> 00:06:31,784
Well, look, Bob, whenever you wanna
be alone, have some peace and freedom...
96
00:06:31,845 --> 00:06:33,791
just come on in here and relax.
97
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:36,919
I won't bother you.
just pretend I'm not even here.
98
00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:38,929
I'll just be working quietly.
99
00:06:42,155 --> 00:06:45,568
[Drill Whirring]
100
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,535
- Hi.
- Hi, Margaret.
101
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,070
That smells good.
I hate to bother you with this petition...
102
00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:59,845
-just when you're fixing dinner, but
the manager is downstairs, - Oh.
103
00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,852
And I want him to know
he's not getting away with this.
104
00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:04,718
Margaret, I just want you to know
that we here in this apartment...
105
00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:09,419
rest easier at night knowing
that we have you as our godfather.
106
00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:12,827
- Hi, honey. Hello, Margaret.
- Hz; sweetheart.
107
00:07:12,886 --> 00:07:16,959
Hi, Bob. Perfect timing.
Here, sign this petition, will you?
108
00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:18,969
- Here.
- What is it?
109
00:07:19,025 --> 00:07:23,735
Uh, the manager keeps forgetting about
that huge puddle at the entrance to the garage.
110
00:07:23,796 --> 00:07:27,835
Every time a car drives through it,
it drenches anyone who's walking near there.
111
00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:29,847
Well, I think he'll fix it
without the petition...
112
00:07:29,903 --> 00:07:32,975
because the manager was walking
near here when I drove in.
113
00:07:34,607 --> 00:07:37,110
Got him and his wife too.
114
00:07:37,177 --> 00:07:39,123
Thanks, Bob.
115
00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:41,887
Anytime, Margaret.
116
00:07:41,948 --> 00:07:46,124
Honey, guess what I fixed
for dinner tonight?
117
00:07:46,186 --> 00:07:50,999
- Um, bacon-- [ Sniffing] and eggs.
- Right.
118
00:07:51,057 --> 00:07:53,901
In honor of
“let's forget about this morning,“ okay?
119
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,406
Honey, I wanted to talk
to you about this morning...
120
00:07:56,462 --> 00:08:00,205
and the reason
why this morning happened.
121
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:02,212
Uh--
122
00:08:02,268 --> 00:08:05,044
Do you remember
those old movies withjon Hall...
123
00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,050
- Oh.
- when he was a deep-sea diver?
124
00:08:07,106 --> 00:08:10,576
- Yeah.
- And his partner was Gilbert Roland?
125
00:08:10,643 --> 00:08:14,648
And Gilbert Roland always used to
screw on this great big steel helmet...
126
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:17,558
onjon Hall's headjust before
he would go to the bottom.
127
00:08:17,617 --> 00:08:20,063
Yeah, and then Gilbert Roland
cuts off his air.
128
00:08:20,119 --> 00:08:22,326
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
129
00:08:22,388 --> 00:08:24,891
Well, honey,
the last couple days...
130
00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:28,531
I felt like I've had
a big steel helmet over my head...
131
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,576
and I would like somebody
to unscrew it.
132
00:08:31,631 --> 00:08:33,872
What I'm trying to say,
it would help a lot...
133
00:08:33,933 --> 00:08:37,039
if I could just
spend some time alone.
134
00:08:37,103 --> 00:08:39,947
Oh, sure, Bob.
That's a good idea.
135
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,749
I mean, no talking or anything.
just alone.
136
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:46,416
Well, we could start right now.
I mean, I have some papers to grade...
137
00:08:46,479 --> 00:08:49,050
- and I won't bother you at all.
- Great.
138
00:08:53,152 --> 00:08:55,598
So, what are you gonna do?
139
00:08:58,491 --> 00:09:02,598
Honey, one of the reasons I wanna be alone
is so I won't have to explain everything.
140
00:09:02,662 --> 00:09:05,871
Oh, oh, you're right.
I'm sorry, Bob.
141
00:09:05,932 --> 00:09:08,811
[Bob] Actually, I was gonna
finish reading a book.
142
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:13,214
Oh, good. What--
[Makes Popping Sound]
143
00:09:21,347 --> 00:09:24,089
[Phone Ringing]
144
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:27,597
Oh, I'll get it. Hello?
145
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,759
Oh, hi. How are you?
146
00:09:29,822 --> 00:09:32,564
Yeah, he's here,
Hold on a minute.
147
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,003
- Who is it?
- It's your mother.
148
00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:36,938
Great.
149
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:44,613
Hi, Mom.
How was Springfield?
150
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,447
Oh, great.
151
00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,953
Yeah, I looked in
on Muffin every day.
152
00:09:51,577 --> 00:09:54,990
The fresh water
and the two handfuls of the kibbled, uh--
153
00:09:57,083 --> 00:10:01,395
Well, Mom, I put the paper down.
The rest is pretty much up to Muffin, you know?
154
00:10:05,325 --> 00:10:08,568
Mom, I didn't know
you could overvvater a fern.
155
00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:12,442
Root rot.
156
00:10:12,498 --> 00:10:16,378
Mom, I'm right in the middle of something here.
Could I call you tomorrow?
157
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:18,382
Right. Bye, Mom.
158
00:10:18,438 --> 00:10:21,476
Well, I think I've had about enough
of being alone in the living room.
159
00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:23,487
I think I'll try
being alone in the den.
160
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:26,547
- Sure, Bob.
- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
161
00:10:26,612 --> 00:10:29,684
Honey, unless that's really important,
I'm not home.
162
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,032
- Oh, hi, Howard.
- Hi, Emily. ls Bob home?
163
00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:41,038
- No.
- Oh.
164
00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:44,166
Well, I mean, he is,
but he's busy.
165
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:47,404
- Is he taking a shower?
- No, not exactly.
166
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:51,142
Is he, uh--
Oh, yeah. I understand.
167
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,049
No, Howard,
I don't thinkyou do.
168
00:10:55,108 --> 00:10:58,214
Uh, well, just tell him not to worry.
My insurance will cover everything.
169
00:10:58,277 --> 00:11:01,918
Howard, what does that mean?
170
00:11:01,981 --> 00:11:05,224
Well, it was just a scratch.
Well, maybe a little more than a scratch.
171
00:11:05,284 --> 00:11:09,198
Uh, I was pulling into
the stall next to your car, and, uh...
172
00:11:09,255 --> 00:11:12,202
my car, uh-- totaled.
173
00:11:15,995 --> 00:11:19,738
I don't know why they put those stalls so close
together with just a skinny pillar in between.
174
00:11:19,799 --> 00:11:22,040
Well, there was a pillar, but--
175
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,516
Howard, you wanna
tell me about it?
176
00:11:26,572 --> 00:11:28,552
Oh, well, uh, uh--
177
00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:31,282
Well, uh, here's
my insurance agent's card.
178
00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:33,881
Look, uh, when you call him,
don't get impatient.
179
00:11:33,946 --> 00:11:37,359
You have to let the phone ring
a real long time.
180
00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:39,988
- I think we'd better look at it, Howard.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
181
00:11:40,052 --> 00:11:44,296
With the two of us, we can probably pull
your fender away from my tire.
182
00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:46,303
On second thought, Howard,
why don't you go alone.
183
00:11:46,359 --> 00:11:48,305
I don't thinkl could
handle that right now.
184
00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:51,968
Just don't worry about a thing. I'll, uh--
hope the manager has a crowbar.
185
00:11:55,735 --> 00:11:58,773
- Emily, could I talk to you about something?
-Sure.
186
00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:01,682
It has nothing to do
with Howard creaming my car...
187
00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:06,815
or the coffeepot gurgling
or any other gurgling.
188
00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:09,826
Now, um, we've been
married three years...
189
00:12:09,882 --> 00:12:13,056
and we've spent every day
of those three years together.
190
00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:15,622
And it's been great.
191
00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:19,966
But I think it would be healthy
for our marriage and for my head...
192
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,666
if I just took a breather.
193
00:12:22,728 --> 00:12:25,607
You know, like a retreat
for a few days.
194
00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:28,737
And it'd be good for you.
I'll find a nice quiet hotel.
195
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:32,339
And it'll be good for both of us.
196
00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:36,353
Sure, Bob, ifit means that much to you.
I mean, whatevefs right.
197
00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:40,653
Great, honey. I'll leave tomorrow,
and I'll be back Sunday.
198
00:12:40,713 --> 00:12:44,991
Oh, you can't do that. You have to be
back Friday for the dinner with the Seldins.
199
00:12:45,051 --> 00:12:47,429
But that only leaves me
two days alone...
200
00:12:47,487 --> 00:12:49,660
and I don't like the Seldins.
201
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,837
Just cancel the Seldins.
202
00:12:52,892 --> 00:12:55,668
Well, I can't do that,
because we canceled them once already...
203
00:12:55,728 --> 00:12:58,436
and then they canceled the Bettmans
to be with us Friday.
204
00:12:58,498 --> 00:13:02,139
Emily, the steel helmet,
you know what I mean?
205
00:13:02,201 --> 00:13:05,444
I feel like Gilbert Roland
is cutting off my air.
206
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:08,677
I've gotta find something
to cheer me up.
207
00:13:08,741 --> 00:13:11,051
I think I'll go look at my car.
208
00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:20,888
Well, this is, uh, this is it.
209
00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:23,832
I guess I won't be seeing you
for about five days.
210
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,339
If anything important happens, call me,
but only if it's something important.
211
00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:32,433
Now don't worry. I'm gonna give you
five bona fide days of absolute aloneness.
212
00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:35,809
And you'd better enjoy it,
'cause it's gonna have to last you a long time.
213
00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:37,870
So, what are you gonna do?
214
00:13:37,937 --> 00:13:41,976
Oh, I don't know. I thought I'd take off
my wedding band and go to a singles' bar.
215
00:13:47,213 --> 00:13:49,557
- Okay.
- All right.
216
00:13:50,983 --> 00:13:53,896
Oh, hey, Bob.
Oh, where're you kids going, a vacation?
217
00:13:53,953 --> 00:13:55,762
- Uh, no.
- A long weekend, huh?
218
00:13:55,821 --> 00:13:59,735
- No, Howard.
- I'm just taking offfor a while, Howard.
219
00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:02,898
- I wanna be alone.
- [ust for a couple of days.
220
00:14:02,962 --> 00:14:06,466
Emily, Bob, I want you to know
that no matter what happens...
221
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:09,706
I-I wanna stay friends
with both of you.
222
00:14:19,045 --> 00:14:22,458
Hi, Bob. Well, what are you gonna do
on your first night of being alone?
223
00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:26,554
First I have to find a place to stay,
then I think I'll just spend it by myself.
224
00:14:26,619 --> 00:14:28,929
Great. I was gonna do the same thing.
You wanna do it together?
225
00:14:30,856 --> 00:14:33,302
- No,jerry. Maybe later in the week.
- Uh-huh.
226
00:14:33,359 --> 00:14:35,305
But I really ought to know
which night.
227
00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:38,865
You see, I'm gonna be busy on Thursday night,
but any other night is good.
228
00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:42,538
Unless Thursday's the only night that's good
for you, and then I could switch my handball game.
229
00:14:42,602 --> 00:14:47,142
SeeJerry, that's why I wanna get off by myself.
We'll just wing it, okay?
230
00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:49,652
- Okay.
- I have to find a hotel room right now.
231
00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:52,622
Hotel?
Who needs a hotel?
232
00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:56,455
- He does.
- Got some great little hotels in here.
233
00:14:56,515 --> 00:14:59,587
- You keep hotels in your address book?
- Well, I'm a doctonjerry.
234
00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:02,326
My answering service
always has to know where I am.
235
00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:05,426
Uh, here's one on the South Side.
236
00:15:05,491 --> 00:15:07,994
The, uh, the Outrigger.
Tahitian motif.
237
00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:12,133
Every room's got a bathtub
shaped like a giant clam shell.
238
00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:17,572
I don't thinkl could relax
in a giant clam shell.
239
00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:20,550
Well, how about the Royal Lantern
on Northmont?
240
00:15:20,606 --> 00:15:24,577
Real popular with doctors.
Can't get near the place on Wednesdays.
241
00:15:27,213 --> 00:15:29,159
Is it quiet at night?
242
00:15:29,215 --> 00:15:33,459
Night? I don't know anyone
who's ever stayed there at night.
243
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:40,330
- Oh, Bob. Oh, Bob, I'm glad I caught you in.
- What's the matter, Howard?
244
00:15:40,393 --> 00:15:43,237
It's been bothering me all clay
about you and Emily splitting up.
245
00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:45,639
It was my car accident that brought things
to a head, wasn't it?
246
00:15:45,698 --> 00:15:48,508
Howard, someday
I'll explain it all to you.
247
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:51,776
- Bob, you and Emily are finished? And you
didn't tell me. -And it was all my fault.
248
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:55,649
Oh, well, if you're separated,
you gotta go to the El Morocco.
249
00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,654
They got water beds.
250
00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,815
Oh, no.
251
00:16:09,755 --> 00:16:12,099
Well, this is your room.
Nice, huh?
252
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:19,339
That's your TV set over there, and your bathroom's
right through those doors over there.
253
00:16:19,398 --> 00:16:23,073
- Where you from, Dr. Hartley?
- I'm from Chicago. Here.
254
00:16:23,135 --> 00:16:26,912
Then I guess you're clone with this.
I'll just stick it in the closet out of your way.
255
00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:29,145
No, no, my clothes
are in there.
256
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,415
Oh, sure.
257
00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:38,091
Well, I guess that's about it.
258
00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:46,428
Thank you, Doctor. Oh, listen,
your ice machine's down your hail on your left.
259
00:16:46,492 --> 00:16:49,769
And, uh,
your Do Not Disturb sign...
260
00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:52,673
in case you, uh, you know.
261
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:09,684
[Phone Ringing]
262
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,121
Hello?
263
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:17,463
Oh, hello, Howard.
264
00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:20,129
No, I'm okay, Howard.
I'm not lonely.
265
00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:24,972
Howard, how'd you find out
what hotel I was staying at?
266
00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:28,978
You just started looking
in the telephone book.
267
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:32,481
It is lucky the Aberdeen Hotel
begins with an
268
00:17:34,673 --> 00:17:39,144
Howard, Emily and I
are not getting a divorce.
269
00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:41,782
Well, I'm glad to hear
she's not playing around, Howard.
270
00:17:43,415 --> 00:17:45,588
Good-bye, Howard.
271
00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:49,432
Hello, Desk?
272
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:51,695
Yeah, this is
Dr. Robert Hartley.
273
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:56,399
Yeah, uh, would you please hold all my calls?
Except for my wife?
274
00:17:56,462 --> 00:17:58,669
And my service.
275
00:17:59,732 --> 00:18:03,077
And, uh, any of my patients.
276
00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:07,175
And my secretary.
277
00:18:08,641 --> 00:18:12,521
Lust send all my calls
through, will ya?
278
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:37,046
I don't know.
279
00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:42,279
Maybe sex education does have a place
in the fifth-grade curriculum.
280
00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:44,878
I mean, a lot of other schools
are teaching it...
281
00:18:44,944 --> 00:18:49,450
and this book certainly does a good job,
but I don't know.
282
00:18:49,515 --> 00:18:53,964
I just hate to have people say
we're not with it, you know?
283
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:58,126
Mrs. Prince, I personally don't care
whether you're with it or without it.
284
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:09,545
The point is, do you want to take
the responsibility of teaching sex to children?
285
00:19:09,602 --> 00:19:13,448
I certainly don't want to.
Do you, Mrs. Prince?
286
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:18,887
Uh, excuse me. I don't know how you all can
just sit here and listen to that man.
287
00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:21,858
I think it's fine...
288
00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:23,860
to teach history and math
to fifth graders...
289
00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:27,989
but unless they learn about sex,
there isn't going to be any more history.
290
00:19:28,053 --> 00:19:33,765
This book explains the facts of life to kids
better than any book any of us have ever seen.
291
00:19:33,826 --> 00:19:37,035
It's beautifully written,
and it's tastefully presented...
292
00:19:37,096 --> 00:19:39,440
and it's wonderfully
and innocently sensitive.
293
00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:43,947
And what about
the frank illustrations?
294
00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:47,450
Mr. Warner, you say that
like this book is full of dirty pictures.
295
00:19:47,506 --> 00:19:51,454
I mean, a chicken inside ofan egg
is not exactly a dirty picture.
296
00:19:53,145 --> 00:19:56,354
What about the sheep
and the goat?
297
00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:58,986
[Mouths Words]
298
00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:03,124
I guarantee you- if that book
goes home with our fifth graders...
299
00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:05,896
it's liable to come back
with a lot of outraged parents.
300
00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:10,600
And I think it's just as liable to come back
with a lot of letters of praise.
301
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:14,702
Mr. Warner, I'd like to give
my opinion of the book.
302
00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:20,906
I loved it. It was so beautiful,
I wish I could start all over again.
303
00:20:22,174 --> 00:20:25,951
Well... let's vote.
304
00:20:26,011 --> 00:20:29,618
You can vote all you want,
Mrs. Hartley, but, um...
305
00:20:29,682 --> 00:20:35,428
I'vejust noticed
we don't have a quorum, so it won't count.
306
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:38,559
Well, we will have one next week,
and then it will count.
307
00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:40,797
[Women]
Right.
308
00:20:40,859 --> 00:20:44,966
Well, there's more coffee
and refreshments on the table.
309
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,032
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
310
00:20:47,099 --> 00:20:51,172
Well, on behalf of myself
and my two kids...
311
00:20:51,236 --> 00:20:54,410
who I think already know
anyway, thanks.
312
00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:58,387
Oh, Margaret, look, I'm still shaking,
but I feel so good.
313
00:20:58,444 --> 00:21:00,947
I usually don't even go
to these meetings when Bob's home...
314
00:21:01,013 --> 00:21:03,357
but I'm sure glad
I came to this one.
315
00:21:03,415 --> 00:21:06,021
- When's Bob getting home?
- Tomorrow.
316
00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:08,292
Oh, it has been a long week.
317
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:11,130
Well, here, maybe
you oughta keep this.
318
00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:15,633
In case he's forgotten something.
319
00:21:26,138 --> 00:21:28,084
[Door Unlocking]
320
00:21:30,175 --> 00:21:32,451
- Bob! Oh, Bob!
- Hi, honey.
321
00:21:32,511 --> 00:21:36,254
Oh, oh, oh, it's so light.
322
00:21:36,315 --> 00:21:38,420
Oh, I forgot.
323
00:21:45,758 --> 00:21:48,796
- Now, where were we?
- Oh, Bob.
324
00:21:50,295 --> 00:21:53,208
Well, tell me,
how was your week?
325
00:21:53,265 --> 00:21:55,711
Honey, I-l really missed you.
326
00:21:55,768 --> 00:21:59,477
Oh, I missed you too.
How was it?
327
00:21:59,538 --> 00:22:03,042
Well, honey, I-l wouldn't
wanna bring you down by telling you.
328
00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:05,088
Oh, that's okay. Tell me.
329
00:22:05,144 --> 00:22:07,146
Well, I wouldn't want you
to feel bad.
330
00:22:07,212 --> 00:22:09,658
I won't. Tell me.
331
00:22:09,715 --> 00:22:12,093
It was great.
332
00:22:12,151 --> 00:22:17,430
Honey, Thursday I went to see three movies,
one after the other.
333
00:22:17,489 --> 00:22:21,437
And I didn't get a headache like my mother
always told me I would, you know?
334
00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:27,533
I did one thing
I've always wanted to do.
335
00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:29,545
- What?
- Nothing.
336
00:22:29,601 --> 00:22:32,605
I didn't do anything.
Absolutely nothing.
337
00:22:32,671 --> 00:22:35,345
- How'd you do?
- Oh,just terrific.
338
00:22:35,407 --> 00:22:39,184
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah, I-l goofed off and I read.
339
00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:42,123
And I called some old friends
I haven't seen in a long time.
340
00:22:42,181 --> 00:22:45,754
And, oh, Bob, I really said what I felt
at a teachers' meeting.
341
00:22:45,818 --> 00:22:48,856
And I wrote a poem.
342
00:22:48,921 --> 00:22:50,696
You're kidding.
Let me see it.
343
00:22:50,756 --> 00:22:53,930
- No, you don't wanna see it.
- Yeah, I wanna see it.
344
00:22:53,992 --> 00:22:56,438
No.
345
00:22:56,495 --> 00:22:58,441
It's over there.
346
00:23:03,435 --> 00:23:05,574
- [Chuckles]
- What?
347
00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:09,107
Oh, the word “'twas“
always breaks me up.
348
00:23:13,045 --> 00:23:15,286
- What? Wait--
- '“Twould.“
349
00:23:15,347 --> 00:23:17,452
Oh.
350
00:23:18,684 --> 00:23:21,927
Honey, that's beautiful. In fact.
351
00:23:24,456 --> 00:23:27,733
Uh, maybe I'd better go
unplug the coffee, huh?
352
00:23:27,793 --> 00:23:29,795
Yeah, and I'll go
in the bedroom and unpack.
353
00:23:29,862 --> 00:23:32,035
Yeah, I'll be there
in a minute to help.
354
00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:40,617
Doorbell Buzzes 1
355
00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:46,856
- Oh, hi, Howard.
- Oh, hi, Emily.
356
00:23:46,912 --> 00:23:49,153
I just wanted to see
how you were doing.
357
00:23:49,214 --> 00:23:53,287
- Who is it, honey?
- God, I hope that's Bob.
358
00:24:00,692 --> 00:24:04,765
Here's one from the hospital.
A Ms. Tyler called.
359
00:24:04,830 --> 00:24:07,003
And here's one from
an Olga something or other.
360
00:24:07,065 --> 00:24:09,443
I didn't catch her last name.
And that's it.
361
00:24:09,501 --> 00:24:14,143
Okay, get me Olga first,
uh, then Ms. Tyler.
362
00:24:14,206 --> 00:24:17,449
- What about the hospital?
- Oh, yeah, get the hospital too.
363
00:24:17,509 --> 00:24:20,285
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
- Oh, hi, Fred.
364
00:24:20,345 --> 00:24:24,350
Oh, hi, Bob.
Hey, how'd you like it at the Aberdeen?
365
00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:28,057
It was great. Very comfortable,
the food was good. I had a terrific time.
366
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,600
Say, why don't we go over to
the Aberdeen bar tonight after work...
367
00:24:30,656 --> 00:24:33,569
and, uh, have a couple of laughs--
you know what I mean?
368
00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:35,468
Gee, I'm back home with the wife.
369
00:24:35,527 --> 00:24:38,303
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
370
00:25:13,532 --> 00:25:14,943
[ Mews]
31539
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