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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,740 You know, I got to be honest with you, Reverend. 2 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,676 As much as I enjoy your sermons, 3 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,279 your guest preacher today was pretty amazing. 4 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,047 PAUL: Yeah, and Kyle's not even a minister. 5 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,217 -Makes me wonder if I overpaid for seminary. -(chuckles) 6 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,752 (sighs) Personally, I didn't care for it. 7 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,688 -Oh, stop. -Seriously. 8 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,923 When Twinkle Toes here gives a sermon, 9 00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,692 I get a great nap. 10 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,896 Kyle... kept me awake the entire time. 11 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,631 Well, I'll be in the pulpit next week, 12 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,266 so bring your pillow. 13 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,603 Listen, I've got that HR meeting at 12:00 noon. 14 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,771 Somebody tell Billy Graham-cracker 15 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,373 we've got to go! 16 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,942 (sighs) Let's get the hell out of here. 17 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:46,380 I mean, let's stay the heck in here. 18 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,482 Uh, we-we can't leave. I mean, look at him. 19 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,584 They love him. He's like Barry Manilow 20 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,486 after a show in Vegas. 21 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:56,056 They're all treating me like the "minister's wife." It's creepy. 22 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,392 (chuckles) Mandy, I get it. 23 00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,828 You ever notice how quick my wife bolts out of here? 24 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:03,597 Yeah, I bolt out of here so fast I didn't know you were married. 25 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,166 VANESSA: (chuckles) Yeah. 26 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,900 Could you go see if he will get going, 27 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:08,902 -please? -Yes, yes. 28 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:12,005 Do you really have a conference call? 29 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,508 Or are you just trying to avoid church coffee? 30 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,610 How is it weak and bitter? 31 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,112 Doesn't make any sense. 32 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,347 All the regional HR reps are meeting 33 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:20,614 to try to pitch a new manual. 34 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,416 Kyle's got to be there for this. 35 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,651 You know, I think it's kind of amazing how far Kyle's come 36 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,119 -at Outdoor Man. -MIKE: Yeah. 37 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,121 -I'm really proud of him. -MIKE: Well, you should 38 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,990 be proud of me, I'm the one that, you know, made him. 39 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,293 Kyle's sermon was about humility. 40 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,528 Are you sure you were awake for that? 41 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,964 I am proud of the kid, too. 42 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,433 As a matter of fact, I'm working on convincing Ed 43 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,702 -to have him be the HR supervisor... -(gasps) 44 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,304 ...for the whole region. 45 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,772 Wow. Oh, wow. 46 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,307 That would be pretty incredible. 47 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,176 -No kidding. -Yeah. 48 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,777 Is there anything this kid can't do? 49 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,512 Yeah. Yeah. 50 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,547 Can't get away from a bunch of old women. 51 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,651 * 52 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,992 Tell him to move his car, Baxter. 53 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,127 Why even have an Employee of the Month parking spot 54 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:11,131 if the Employee of the Month-- me-- doesn't get to park in it? 55 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,968 I named you Employee of the Month. 56 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,137 You know, isn't the prestige enough? 57 00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,306 Do you need all the trappings? 58 00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,541 CHUCK: There are no trappings. 59 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:21,642 There's just a-a parking spot 60 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,143 ten feet closer to the door. 61 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,146 Which you've stolen for a week. 62 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,216 You've gone mad. 63 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,817 You're-You're unstable. 64 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,719 M-Mike, what-what are you gonna do about this? 65 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,153 I've already done something about it. 66 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,655 You guys have been on speakerphone. 67 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,056 -What? -With who? 68 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,759 Kyle Anderson. 69 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,094 Human Resources. 70 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,399 You guys are in trouble. 71 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,935 Seriously? Again with the parking spot? 72 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,870 Just trying to right a wrong, Kyle. 73 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,405 No, no, I'll tell you what's wrong. 74 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,040 The two of you, coming in here 75 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,577 and wasting Mr. B's valuable time with this, this... 76 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,946 May I cuss? 77 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,281 Please. 78 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,549 ...crapola! 79 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,050 MIKE: Oh! 80 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,519 You guys are in serious trouble. 81 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,855 Look, on Sunday my fellow HR reps and I, 82 00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,957 we talked about how to handle situations like this. 83 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,892 It was when we were discussing the chapter, 84 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,262 "Dealing With Children." 85 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,698 Watch it, son. I don't like your tone. 86 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:21,034 I don't like my tone, either. 87 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,204 So here's what we're gonna do, okay? 88 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,206 We're gonna take a five minute cooling-off period, 89 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,608 and then the three of us 90 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,443 are gonna reconvene in my office 91 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,212 where we can deal with this like adults. 92 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,581 Can we try that? 93 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,583 I'm good with it. 94 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,784 Thank you. 95 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,253 Mr. Alzate? 96 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,125 Fine. 97 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,097 Did you hear the way that kid spoke to me? 98 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,766 I was sitting right here. 99 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,235 And what do you propose we do about that? 100 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:59,473 I propose we make Kyle regional HR supervisor. 101 00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,742 Exactly. 102 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,616 Ah... Take that! Ah... Take that! 103 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:12,085 (whimpers) I'm out of bullets. I'm out of bullets! 104 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,154 I told you to get more at the armory. 105 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,857 Ah! They're biting me! (screaming) 106 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,959 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 107 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,494 What's-what's going on? 108 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:23,464 Uh, she's trying to save the world from zombies. 109 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,534 But I'm only one little girl. 110 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,101 What is this, a video game? 111 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,670 -Virtual reality. -Oh. 112 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,839 We got it for Boyd and he's gotten really good 113 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,442 at killing zombies and blowing up Star Destroyers, 114 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:38,211 and really bad at finishing his homework, so... 115 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,514 W-Why is it here? And-and why don't you just tell him 116 00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,516 he can play after he does his homework? 117 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,885 Well, it's not just him. Ryan plays all the time, too. 118 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,455 And, frankly, I've lost a day or two. 119 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,492 You want a turn, Vanessa? You get to blow stuff up. 120 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,193 -No, I don't want a turn. -Wh... 121 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,228 -You know, when I was a kid... -Here we go. 122 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,230 No, wait a minute. Now, wait. 123 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,967 We would get on our bikes to explore. 124 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,370 -We'd go to the lake, we'd climb trees. -Hmm. 125 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:06,006 We'd use our imaginations to entertain ourselves. 126 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,476 But, Vanessa, you're a scientist. 127 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,143 Isn't it a little close-minded 128 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,212 to criticize something you've never tried? 129 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,749 Come on, Mom, pretend you're fun. 130 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,185 -Oh, give it to me. Give it to me. All right. -(Kristin laughs) 131 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,654 -Uh... Okay. -That... 132 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,089 -Like this? -I want you right... uhp. 133 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,757 -No, no. There we go. -Whoa. Oh. Okay. 134 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:26,927 Oh, oh, it's a desert. Okay. Uh... oh, uh... 135 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,364 Uh, American Southwest, clearly. 136 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,600 Um... Oh, cumulous clouds. 137 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,167 (laughs) 138 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,504 Orange-banded sandstone and quartz? 139 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,839 (scoffs) Oh, come on, come on, make up your mind. 140 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,041 What are you, Arizona or New Mexico? 141 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,613 Oh, what is this? Oh, zombies. Oh, come... This is original. 142 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,915 -Don't just stand there. Start killing! -This is so stupid. 143 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,217 No. No. No, thank you. 144 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,285 I don't have time for this nonsense. 145 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,888 Nothing in that computer compares to the thrill 146 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,190 and adventure I already get from real life. 147 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,793 Where are you going? 148 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,929 Big Kart. We need toilet paper. 149 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,135 All right, uh, yeah, you can grab the salad dressing. 150 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,737 Great. Will do. 151 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,608 Oh, I see you got one of those virtual reality sets. 152 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,309 Devil's workshop, Vanessa. 153 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,311 Oh, no. No, no, that's not mine. 154 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,313 I'm with you. I hate those things. 155 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,651 Oh, no, I meant my favorite VR game is The Devil's Workshop. 156 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,254 -Hey, guys. -Hi. 157 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,822 Oh. Look, I'm sorry I'm late. 158 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,991 I got stuck at work. 159 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,393 How exactly does the boss get stuck at work? 160 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,295 Well, maybe the boss remembered 161 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,330 he was having dinner with his pastor. 162 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,134 -Anything I can do? Table. -Yeah, table. 163 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,971 Uh... Good news. 164 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,107 Ed signed off on giving Kyle that new job. 165 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,342 (gasps) Yes! Oh, that's amazing. Great. 166 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,511 What job? 167 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,846 Regional director, Human Resources. 168 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,916 Wow. You know, if Jesus had had one of these, 169 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,486 I don't think Judas would've left the camp. 170 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,657 Actually, I think there's a better job for him. 171 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,661 I'm gonna tell him he should enter the ministry. 172 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:10,130 -You mean become a pastor? Wow. -Wait a minute, wait a minute. 173 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,032 So, I-I chisel a rock into a beautiful statue 174 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:15,435 and the church is going to steal that from me? 175 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,970 (chuckles) It's not stealing, Mike. 176 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:19,873 -It's-It's God's calling. -Says who? 177 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,042 I've been praying on this and God spoke to me. 178 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,645 Did he, now? I've been praying, too. 179 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,680 God spoke to me, just the other night. 180 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:29,483 "Don't listen to him. I'm just messing with him." 181 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,487 Listen, I firmly believe this is part of the Lord's plan, 182 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,355 and I don't think even the great Mike Baxter 183 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,957 wants to compete with God. 184 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,359 Oh, I don't think God's above a little competition. 185 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,128 Look, we both want the same thing, right? 186 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,397 I say, let the best dude win. 187 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:48,035 Honey? Did you just call out God? 188 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:50,971 We could also make it a little more interesting. 189 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,472 Put a little wager on it. 190 00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,341 Ugh, it just got worse, I... 191 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:58,045 Okay, I hardly think it's appropriate to bet 192 00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,880 on the Almighty's divine plan. 193 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,015 Yeah? How about a 30-year-old bottle of scotch? 194 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,383 Oh, you're on. 195 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:14,027 Hey. You wanted to see me, sir? 196 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,663 Yeah, come on in, Kyle. You know, I was thinking, 197 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,230 it's been a while since 198 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,999 you and I had dinner, just the two of us. 199 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,669 Well, actually, you and I have never had dinner together. 200 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,071 (chuckles) So it's been a long while. 201 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,106 We can change that tonight. 202 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,609 Oh, I'd-I'd love to, but I'm-I'm meeting with Reverend Paul. 203 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,878 He wants to talk to me about something. 204 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,280 I bet he does. 205 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,282 Yeah. I wonder what's on his mind. 206 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,886 Well, you're gonna think this sounds crazy, but I think 207 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,254 he wants me to consider going into the ministry. 208 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,423 Is that even something you'd consider? 209 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,725 -I don't know, you know, -Yeah. 210 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,193 I'd have to leave Outdoor Man, right? 211 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,730 Not much for a minister to do in a gun store. 212 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,264 Outdoor Man's the only place 213 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,233 I feel like I've ever really belonged. 214 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,402 And I'm finally starting to feel really confident in my job. 215 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,304 Plus, you'd have to think about Mandy. 216 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,072 Yeah. Yeah, of course. And it's hard 217 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,941 to imagine Mandy as a minister's wife. 218 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:04,144 Unless you're one of those private jet, mansion ministers. 219 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,813 No. 220 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,815 Then it would be hard to imagine. 221 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,450 But the big thing is... 222 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:13,286 I don't know if I'd be any good at it. 223 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,322 You were great when you preached on Sunday. 224 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,425 Oh, yeah. Yeah, but that part doesn't worry me. 225 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,327 There's a lot of other stuff that a minister has to do. 226 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,129 You know, really important stuff. 227 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,765 And I'm not sure I'd be good at that part. 228 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:29,069 I'm glad you confided in me. 229 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,072 I think I can help. 230 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,341 Sit down. 231 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,777 You remember when you first started working at Outdoor Man? 232 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,311 And you did everything perfectly 233 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:39,847 and you didn't make any mistakes. 234 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,514 Uh... actually, no. 235 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,416 I remember I made a lot of mistakes. 236 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:44,952 Right. Right. 237 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,854 Like the time you took all the skis 238 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,522 from the Boise store and you sent them to Tucson. 239 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:52,693 -Ugh. "Desert-gate." -Yeah. 240 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,328 It was a big mistake, you know. Expensive. 241 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,631 Legendary in the retail business. 242 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,000 That story goes over and... but it was just a mistake. 243 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,669 Yeah. See, I'm worried something like that might happen 244 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,036 if I became a minister. 245 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,005 Well, you can rest easy. 246 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,439 Because it will. 247 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,112 Listen. But if you happen to send two poor souls to... 248 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,682 "the wrong store," 249 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,950 that's just part of the cost of doing business. 250 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,786 (chuckles) 251 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,821 -Never thought about it that way. -Nah, nah, nah. 252 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:24,191 That's why it's always good to have a trusted advisor. 253 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,859 Yeah. All right. 254 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,460 -Thanks. This helped. -Yeah, great. 255 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,863 -All right, I should go. -Okay. (whispering): Yes. 256 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,398 (normal voice): When you talk to the reverend, tell him 257 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,366 our old friend Johnny said hi. 258 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,468 Johnny Walker. 259 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,476 (panting) 260 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,714 -Ah. -Jen. 261 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:49,316 -(grunts) -Jen? Jen? 262 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,585 (screams) 263 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,521 -I'm late for study group? Oh. -Yeah. 264 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:57,224 It's because that thing is a total time suck. 265 00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,192 Oh. Bye! 266 00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,694 Yeah. Enjoy real life. 267 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,996 (forced chuckle) 268 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,664 -(door closes) -Where'd you go, 269 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,666 you flesh-eating scum? 270 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:10,871 Oh, there you are. There you are. 271 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,241 All right, come on. You come on. Come a little closer. 272 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,675 Ha, ha! 273 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,611 Grenade! (imitates explosion) 274 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,048 Grenade! Grenade! 275 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,783 And flamethrower! 276 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,217 (grunting) 277 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,587 Get some! Get some! Get some! 278 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,224 Hee-ya! Hee-ya! 279 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,260 Ha, ha! 280 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,699 Hello? 281 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,102 What happened? Everything went black. What? 282 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,038 Oh, what is this? Some kind of zombie trick? 283 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,740 What? 284 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,141 (gasps) 285 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,710 Oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, this is not good. 286 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:55,482 Oh. Uh... just pick this up right here, 287 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,717 and, uh, just there like that. 288 00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,387 Maybe it just needs to sit a minute. 289 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,422 Okay. 290 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,326 It's total time suck! 291 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,064 -(chuckling) -So, how'd the parking thing go 292 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,234 with, uh, Kyle Anderson, Human Resources? 293 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,936 Oh. Yeah. 294 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,437 We got it all worked out. 295 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,606 Yeah, we had to. Kyle said we were on his list. 296 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:23,676 Yeah. I don't want to be on Kyle's list. 297 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,279 I think Kyle's gonna make a great HR supervisor. 298 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,281 -Let's raise a glass to Kyle. -To Kyle. 299 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,783 -To Kyle. -Yeah. -Yeah. 300 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,019 You low-down, sneaky, 301 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,287 backhanded, rattlesnake bastard. 302 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,126 Well, ministers have changed since I was a kid. 303 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,128 God is calling Kyle to service, 304 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,996 and you undermined his confidence. 305 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,865 You've torn him from God's embrace. 306 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,100 -Whoa, whoa. -I don't know all the details, 307 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,969 but... not cool. 308 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,371 Well, God took his shot, I took mine. 309 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,007 Turns out, Kyle sees things my way. 310 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:58,211 And God is surprisingly generous in defeat. 311 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,114 What bible are you reading? 312 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,617 Finished with work and ready for a drink. 313 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,554 What am I talking about? I don't drink. 314 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:10,824 Well, off to the shelter to wash feet. 315 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,694 Listen, Kyle gave me a lot of reasons why 316 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,796 he didn't want to go into the ministry. 317 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,866 He likes his job here, he's finally feeling confident, 318 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,001 and he's certain that Mandy does not want 319 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,469 to be a minister's wife. 320 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,204 Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? 321 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,807 Well, apparently, Kyle was being embraced by God 322 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:31,044 until your dad broke them up. 323 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,413 Be honest with me. 324 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,382 Is that the life you see for yourself? 325 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,718 Bad coffee? Flat shoes? 326 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,221 (scoffs) No, I don't want to be a minister's wife. 327 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,655 (groans) 328 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,092 Super sorry. 329 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,828 But Dad, I-I know that Kyle wants to be a minister, 330 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,932 and I will do everything he needs me to do to support that. 331 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,833 I wish your dad felt that way. 332 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,103 I'm just telling you how the kid feels. 333 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,105 And I'd sure hate to lose Kyle, 334 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:01,108 but he'd make a hell of a minister. 335 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,844 I might even start going back to church. (chuckles) 336 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,380 Nah. 337 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,250 Well, he got Ed to move his damn car, 338 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,520 so we already know the kid can work miracles. 339 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,856 You know, just about everything Kyle does, 340 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,559 he does because he wants you to be proud of him. 341 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,062 Your support is the only confidence he needs. 342 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264 PAUL: He wants this, Mike. 343 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,399 He's just scared. 344 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,568 You need to undo what you did. 345 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,570 So I whupped God... 346 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,872 and now I got to take on me? 347 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:36,376 Well... finally a fair fight. 348 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,153 I don't know what happened. It's all black. 349 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,654 Did you drop it? 350 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,422 No. I love this thing. 351 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,758 (whispering): I'd never hurt it. 352 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,796 Hello, ladies. (chuckles) 353 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,565 -KRISTIN: Hi. -What's, uh... what's going on? 354 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,467 Uh, well, the game is broken. 355 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,669 Do you have any idea how that happened? 356 00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,138 Me? How... (scoffs) How would I know? 357 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,573 Well, it kind of looks like 358 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,641 someone knocked it off the table. 359 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,278 Oh, shoot. 360 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,846 Yeah, uh, you know what? Yeah, um, it was me. 361 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,684 I-I was... I was, uh, over here vacuuming and, um, 362 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,487 I-I had my back to the machine, 363 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,355 you know, which... which was behind me, 364 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,856 -and, uh... -Mm. 365 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,192 You know, the cord, 'cause cords... 366 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,859 -such a nuisance. -Right. 367 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,297 Just... well, just knocked the-the... the thing over. 368 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,032 -Really, Mom? -Yup. 369 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,467 Yeah. Are you, uh... are you sure you weren't playing it? 370 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:37,937 No. No way. No. I live in the real world, remember? 371 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,642 Oh, shoot. Yeah, you know what? You know what? 372 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,878 Uh, yeah, I did. I-I put the-the headset on just for a second, 373 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,648 uh, because I wanted to see 374 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,518 if, uh, the technology would be useful for other sciences, 375 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,886 like, you know, like mathematics or astronomy. 376 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,888 Um, higher pursuits 377 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:59,459 than torching the undead with a flamethrower. 378 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,461 You can't get a flamethrower 379 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,463 until level seven. 380 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,001 Ryan hasn't even gotten to level seven. 381 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,170 I got to level ten! 382 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,406 Listen, no. No, no, no, listen, listen. 383 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,075 There's an underground military base 384 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,045 that has every kind of weapon you can imagine. 385 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,546 -Level ten? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 386 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,913 Yeah, that takes time. 387 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,216 Oh, so much time! 388 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,918 But please, just get the thing out of my house. 389 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,321 I missed a book club, I forgot to eat. 390 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,890 I-I am... I'm just... I'm so glad that it's broken. 391 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,592 Oh, oh. Wait. 392 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,027 It, uh... it's not. 393 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:37,264 Looks like a cord was just loose on the monitor. 394 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,666 You know, I heard there's a Humvee 395 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,401 with a rocket launcher on level 11. 396 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,237 And-and, you know what? I found a set of keys on level nine. 397 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,573 I mean, I knew they had to be for something. 398 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,575 So, what do you say? 399 00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,178 One hour, and then I have to make dinner. 400 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,750 Hey, Kyle, could you step in here a minute? 401 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,387 I want to ask you something. Thanks. 402 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,122 (exhales) 403 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,791 Okay, I don't-I don't really know how I'm gonna do this, 404 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:09,262 so you... feel free to chime in with any ideas. 405 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,299 It's pretty well known you're a big buttinsky. 406 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,435 Hey, you called me, sir? 407 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,936 Yeah, and you... and you came. 408 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:19,572 Um... you can go. 409 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,242 Kyle? 410 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,111 Yes? Is there something you need me to do? 411 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,612 Yes, there is, and, um... 412 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,280 You can go. 413 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,251 -Kyle? -I am right here. 414 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,485 Why do you keep coming in? 415 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:33,986 'Cause you keep calling me. 416 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,389 If this is one of your teaching moments, sir, 417 00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,990 can we get to the teaching part? 418 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,394 'Cause I'm getting a little... throw-uppie. 419 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:44,764 I called you 'cause I need you to do something. 420 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,634 And you came before you knew you could do it. 421 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,269 Why is that? 422 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,803 'Cause if you didn't think I could do it, 423 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,639 -you wouldn't have called me. -Yeah. 424 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:55,842 I think we've arrived at our teaching moment. 425 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,644 Sit down. 426 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:01,248 Reverend Paul thinks you're being called to the ministry. 427 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,682 Do you know what that means? 428 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,083 Definitely. 429 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,485 No. Maybe. 430 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,354 I don't know. Do you? 431 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,090 Ah, boy. 432 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,195 It means nothing. 433 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,631 Oh. That's comforting. 434 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,867 Kyle. I am God. 435 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,835 (Kyle laughs softly) 436 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,271 He's kidding. 437 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,506 You're kidding, right? 438 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,877 For the teaching moment, I'm playing the role of God. 439 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,845 And to be quite honest, 440 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,047 it feels so right. 441 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,184 Okay. 442 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,886 If I or God calls you, 443 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,988 what does that mean? 444 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,391 That you already think I can do it. 445 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,792 Right. 446 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,360 Am I ever wrong? 447 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,061 Are you asking as you or as God? 448 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,530 (chuckles) 449 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,233 Tomato, tomahto. What's the difference? 450 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,502 God's never wrong. 451 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,738 Well, then what you got to think about is 452 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,208 forgetting what Reverend Paul says and what I said. 453 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:04,544 Do you think God is calling you? 454 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,815 Yes. 455 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,652 Then really all you got to think about is, 456 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,321 are you gonna answer that call? 457 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,924 I don't know. Um... 458 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:22,862 What if I mess up, and I send a bunch of skis to Hell? 459 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,864 It's not your job to be infallible. 460 00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:28,167 That's for God. And for me. 461 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,036 Yes, sir. 462 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,171 Listen, um, you're valuable to me, Kyle. 463 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:35,575 You always come when I call, but I... 464 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:39,045 I think there's a bigger call coming through right now. 465 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,349 Okay. 466 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,452 Kyle? 467 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,288 I am proud of you. 468 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,792 I'm really gonna miss it here. 469 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,594 What? You... 470 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,729 There's many years of study before you become a minister. 471 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,465 You're gonna be here for quite a while. 472 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,433 Oh, thank God. 473 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,469 You're welcome. 474 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,078 Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man. 475 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,481 When I was a young guy trying to find my way, 476 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,215 I heard the call of the wild. 477 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,217 I remember it well-- walking in the woods 478 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:21,921 and coming eyeball to eyeball with a 12-point buck. 479 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,824 It was like he was looking right into my soul. 480 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,926 I didn't realize it was my life calling 481 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:30,096 until the next day when I was eating him. 482 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,165 With some oven-browned potatoes and candied carrots. 483 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,901 Yum, yum, yum. 484 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,737 If you're someone who has a harder time finding his path, 485 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:41,107 I recommend the compass. Huh? 486 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,776 Inside, a little magnetic pin spins 487 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,778 according to the Earth's magnetism, right? 488 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:49,282 Right now it's pointed at-- look at that-- pointed at me, 489 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,351 'cause I'm quite magnetic. 490 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,820 I mean... Is it the eyes? 491 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:56,122 The intellect, the effortless charisma? 492 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,624 Who am I kidding? 493 00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:00,026 I'm the whole package. 494 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,761 But for mere mortals, 495 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:04,697 the compass is a great tool to help you find your way. 496 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,533 The only thing the compass requires 497 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,369 is a belief in true north. 498 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,471 If you trust in that, there's a whole world 499 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,306 of exciting adventures ahead of you. 500 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:16,275 Hiking, fishing, or you might get eaten by a grizzly bear. 501 00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:17,944 Now if being mauled 502 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,547 and slowly eaten alive is not one of your life goals, 503 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:25,051 I also recommend Outdoor Man bear repellent. 504 00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,653 Which should be applied 505 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:30,222 the way Democrats raise taxes-- liberally. 506 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:33,025 I choke on the word. 507 00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:34,461 Take care out there. 508 00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,229 Happy trails. Baxter out. 509 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,232 (chicken clucks) 510 00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:42,301 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 37569

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