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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,872 HEY, MOM, WHY WAS DAD OUT FRONT WASHING MY CAR? 2 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,540 OH, SOME KIDS DROVE THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD 3 00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,142 EGGING CARS LAST NIGHT. 4 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,078 ONLY IN COLORADO. 30 DAYS YOU GOTTA WAIT 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:13,214 FOR A GUN PERMIT, BUT ANYBODY CAN BUY EGGS! 6 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,384 ADMIT IT. YOU JUST WASHED MY CAR 7 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,686 SO YOU COULD SCRAPE OFF MY OBAMA STICKER. 8 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,889 I THINK YOUR OBAMA STICKER'S THE REASON YOU GOT EGGED. 9 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,059 HOW MANY CARS GOT HIT? 10 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,994 ON THIS BLOCK, JUST US AND THE NEW GUYS UP THE BLOCK. 11 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,029 THE NEW FAMILY? THE BLA... 12 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,665 AFRICAN-AMERICAN FAMILY? 13 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,868 THE BLAFRICAN-AMERICANS, YES. 14 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,172 SO NOW THEIR CAR IS THE ONLY ONE ON THE BLOCK WITH EGG ON IT? 15 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,574 OH, NO. "OH, NO," WHAT? 16 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,009 (sighs) WELL, THEY COULD THINK 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,112 SOMEONE EGGED THEIR CAR OUT OF RACISM. 18 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,980 I DON'T THINK THE KLAN DOES A LOT OF WORK WITH EGGS. 19 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:51,585 COME ON, THEY JUST MOVED INTO A VERY WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD. 20 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:54,054 MAYBE WE SHOULD LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES. 21 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,856 I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO MY NEIGHBORS. YEAH, I KNOW. 22 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,526 IF IT'LL HELP, YOU WANT ME TO RE-EGG HER CAR? 23 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,194 THEY MIGHT FEEL SINGLED OUT. 24 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:03,531 OH, "SINGLED OUT." VANDALISM HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY, GUYS. 25 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,199 WHY IS IT IF YOU'RE BLACK OR YOU'RE GAY 26 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,135 OR YOU'RE A MIDGET, YOU THINK STUFF HAPPENS TO YOU 27 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,638 JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK OR YOU'RE GAY OR YOU'RE A MIDGET? 28 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,972 MAYBE THEY'RE JUST JERKS. 29 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,774 I DATED THIS BLACK GAY MIDGET IN COLLEGE... 30 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,943 (mouths words) 31 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,379 (chuckling) DAD, STOP, OKAY? 32 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,947 I'M GLAD THE VIEW IS SO CLEAR 33 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,283 ON TOP OF RICH WHITE GUY MOUNTAIN. 34 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,319 BEAUTIFUL VIEW UP HERE. THEY PUT A LITTLE FOOD COURT. 35 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,555 LOVE YOU, GUYS. 36 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,257 (door closes) YOU KNOW, HONEY, KRISTIN'S RIGHT. 37 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,126 THE LARABEES SHOULD KNOW THAT THEY WEREN'T SINGLED OUT. 38 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,927 WHO ARE THE LARABEES? 39 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,963 THE PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE JUST BEEN TALKING ABOUT. 40 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,132 OH, YEAH. THE GUY IN THE SILVER TAHOE. 41 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,567 OH, SURE. YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES, 42 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,169 BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HIS NAME? 43 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,970 I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THAT MUCH, BUT I LOVE CARS. 44 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:46,607 THEY MOVED IN THE HOUSE WHERE THE PONTIACS USED TO LIVE. 45 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,142 YOU TALK TO THE NEIGHBORS, 46 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,077 THEY'RE GONNA THINK YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS. 47 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,312 AND? 48 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:54,081 I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. 49 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,683 AND NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE BLACK, BECAUSE THEY'RE-- 50 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,118 BECAUSE THEY'RE NEIGHBORS? (groans) RIGHT. 51 00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,687 YOU MAKE FRIENDS WITH NEIGHBORS, 52 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,955 AND IT OPENS UP ALL SORTS OF OBLIGATIONS. 53 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,691 YOU KNOW, LISTEN, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO, 54 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:07,094 YOU KNOW, REMEMBER THEIR NAMES, WAVE AT 'EM AND SAY "HELLO." 55 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,364 YOU KNOW, "HEY, MIKE, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?" 56 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:13,033 WHO'S GOT AN ANSWER FOR THAT? 57 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,637 EVERYONE IN THE WORLD NAMED MIKE EXCEPT FOR YOU. 58 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,242 -- Captions by VITA -- 59 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,980 (both laughing) 60 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:29,016 HEY. THE BRONCOS ARE ALMOST ON. WHERE WERE YOU? 61 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,351 THE MALL. 62 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,320 TWO QUESTIONS--WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT THE MALL, 63 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,389 AND DID YOU BRING ME A BIG PRETZEL? 64 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,990 DAD, CHECK IT OUT. 65 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,026 SHE'S LIKE THE PLAIN GIRL IN THE MOVIE 66 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,728 WHO DISCOVERS THAT SHE CAN BE PRETTY... 67 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:44,798 (singsongy) WITH THE HELP OF HER SUPER HOT SISTER! 68 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,801 (normal voice) WHAT?! I SAID YOU WERE EVENTUALLY PRETTY. 69 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,037 EVE, COME ON. LET'S NOT MISS KICKOFF. 70 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,206 BUT, DAD, I WANTED TO TRY ON THIS NEW DRESS WITH THE SHOES 71 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,308 MANDY IS LOANING ME FOR TAYLOR'S PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT. 72 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,843 YOU'VE GOT PRACTICE FRIDAY NIGHT. 73 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,144 YOU GOT A SOCCER GAME SATURDAY, BABE. 74 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,979 DAD, EVE IS IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW. 75 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,216 AND EVEN IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO LIVE UP TO THIS... 76 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,919 (exhales) 77 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,888 WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THAT? 78 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,759 (whispers) JUST GO. 79 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,562 DAD, I WAS, UH, I WAS KINDA HOPING 80 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,230 I COULD, UM, BLOW OFF PRACTICE FRIDAY NIGHT. 81 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,031 NO, YOU CAN'T BLOW OFF PRACTICE. 82 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,333 WHY? EVE SCORES ALL THE GOALS ANYWAY. 83 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,934 IF SHE'S NOT THERE, ONE OF THOSE OTHER 84 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,637 FUTURE GYM TEACHERS CAN KICK A FEW. 85 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,674 PLEASE, DAD. I'M SO BURNED OUT ON SOCCER. 86 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,175 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING FUN, 87 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,278 BECAUSE ALL I DO IS PRACTICE SPORTS AND PLAY SPORTS. 88 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:33,013 AND AS A REWARD, YOU GET TO WATCH SPORTS WITH DAD. 89 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,582 (scoffs) SO YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA LET ME MISS 90 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,049 ONE STUPID PRACTICE? 91 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,919 YOU CAN MISS STUPID PRACTICE. YOU CAN'T MISS SOCCER PRACTICE. 92 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,188 YOU START FLAKING OUT ON STUFF LIKE THIS, 93 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,923 YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST QUIT THE TEAM. 94 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,125 FINE. THEN I QUIT. YOU'RE NOT QUITTING. 95 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,960 THAT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. YOU DO THAT, YOU END UP 96 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,896 DRIVING AROUND WITH THESE JERKS EGGING CARS. 97 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,599 YEAH. LIKE RANDY AND MAX WOULD HANG OUT WITH EVE, DAD. 98 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,634 THEY'RE SENIORS. (laughs) 99 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,978 (rings doorbell) 100 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,984 HI. I SAW YOUR NEWSPAPER, 101 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,986 AND I THOUGHT I'D BRING IT TO YOU. 102 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,790 UH, THERE'S A NEWSPAPER THIEF IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 103 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,661 WE DON'T GET THE NEWSPAPER. 104 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:26,400 (laughs) THEN I GUESS I'M THE NEWSPAPER THIEF. 105 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,168 (laughs) UH... 106 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,804 HI. I'M, UH, I'M VANESSA BAXTER FROM DOWN THE STREET. 107 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,172 OH, YES. NICE TO MEET YOU. 108 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,107 I'M CAROL LARABEE. HI. 109 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,909 (clears throat) 110 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,347 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? UM... I-I ALSO WANTED TO TELL YOU 111 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,181 THAT SOMEBODY THREW A-AN EGG AT YOUR CAR. 112 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,517 OH. UM, BUT--BUT THEY ALSO THREW EGGS AT OTHER CARS, 113 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,786 AND I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK YOU WERE SINGLED OUT 114 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,689 BECAUSE YOU'RE... (stammers) 115 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,991 NEW. 116 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,260 THAT'S NICE OF YOU. YEAH. 117 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,796 IS YOUR HUSBAND THE MAN THAT DRIVES A GREEN TRUCK 118 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:59,166 WHO WALKS INSIDE REALLY FAST WITHOUT LOOKING UP? OH. MM. 119 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,534 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. THAT'S HIM. 120 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:03,437 BUT--BUT HE DOES THAT WITH ALL THE NEIGHBORS, NOT JUST THE... 121 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,805 THE NEW ONES? YEAH. 122 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,175 CAROL, THE OVEN'S ON FIRE. 123 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,043 UH, NO, IT'S OKAY. (chuckles) IT'S OKAY. 124 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,446 IT'S JUST MY HUSBAND'S WAY OF GETTING RID OF SOLICITORS. 125 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,281 HONEY, THIS IS OUR NEIGHBOR FROM DOWN THE STREET... OH. HI. 126 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,016 VANESSA BAXTER. VANESSA, MY HUSBAND--CHUCK. HI. 127 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,217 PLEASURE. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. HI. 128 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,053 HER HUSBAND'S THE GUY WITH THE GREEN TRUCK. 129 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,957 THE ONE WITH THE "NoBAMA" BUMPER STICKER? 130 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,693 THE GUY WHO NEVER WAVES? 131 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,795 EH, YOU KNOW, HE'S-- YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST ANTISOCIAL. 132 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:28,996 AND HE DOESN'T LIKE OBAMA. 133 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,698 I SEE. 134 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,201 BUT--BUT IT'S--IT'S NOT IN THE WAY THAT YOU'RE THINKING. 135 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,205 HOW AM I THINKING? 136 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,580 (door opens) 137 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,181 HEY. HEY. 138 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,483 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 139 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,985 (sighs) WELL, FIRST THE GOOD NEWS. 140 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:55,523 I STOLE TODAY'S PAPER. 141 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,190 THERE'S BAD NEWS? 142 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,726 THE LARABEES ARE COMING OVER HERE 143 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,060 FOR DRINKS FRIDAY NIGHT. 144 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:03,163 WHO ARE THE LARABEES? 145 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,598 THE NEW NEIGHBORS. 146 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:08,068 THE--THE TAHOES WHO BOUGHT THE PONTIACS' HOUSE. 147 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,937 WHY ARE THEY COMING OVER HERE? 148 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,605 I DON'T KNOW, HONESTLY. 149 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,373 I WENT OVER THERE TO TALK ABOUT THE EGGING. 150 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,075 THINGS GOT AWKWARD. 151 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,879 I PANICKED, AND I RAN OUT OF STUFF TO SAY. 152 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,082 SO NATURALLY YOU ASSUMED, "MIKE'LL WANT A PIECE OF THIS. 153 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,386 SO LET'S DO IT AGAIN FRIDAY NIGHT"? 154 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,188 WE GOT A BIGGER PROBLEM. 155 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,957 YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER WANTS TO QUIT SOCCER. 156 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,292 SO? WHAT DO YOU CARE? YOU HATE SOCCER. 157 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,127 I ALSO HATE OUR NEIGHBORS. 158 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,130 THAT DIDN'T STOP YOU FROM INVITING THEM OVER HERE. 159 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,132 SHE PLAYS SOCCER WELL. IT'S A WASTE OF TALENT. 160 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,035 HEY, ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT ME? 161 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,771 NO, WE'RE NOT. 162 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,873 OH. 'CAUSE I JUST HEARD THE WORD "TALENT," 163 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,207 AND I THOUGHT YOU MUST HAVE HEARD-- 164 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,477 (singsongy) I'M UP FOR A SOLO IN SHOW CHOIR! 165 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,978 THAT'S GREAT. 166 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,080 I JUST DON'T WANT EVE TO THINK SHE CAN BE A QUITTER. 167 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,548 OH, COME ON, HONEY. SHE'S SO TALENTED, 168 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,484 SHE COULD DO ANYTHING SHE PUTS HER MIND TO. 169 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,119 KINDA LIKE ME IN SHOW CHOIR! 170 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,055 THAT'S GOOD, HONEY. YOU GO DO THAT. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 171 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:03,557 LOOK, WE'VE PUT SO MUCH ENERGY INTO THIS. 172 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,992 JUST THE DRIVING ALONE TO AND FROM THAT PARK 173 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,494 AND ALL THE PRACTICES. 174 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,995 THINK OF ALL THE ORANGE SLICES YOU'VE DONE. 175 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,963 SO MANY FREAKIN' ORANGES. ORANGE SLICES. SO MUCH. 176 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,800 OH, MY GOD, CAN THEY TOSS THE PEELS INTO THE GARBAGE CAN 177 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,301 THAT'S JUST 3 FEET AWAY? NO. 178 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,003 NO. NO. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THEY'RE SOCCER PLAYERS. 179 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,971 THEY CAN'T USE THEIR HANDS. 180 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:21,174 SO... YOU CAN'T WASTE ALL THAT EFFORT, RIGHT? 181 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,110 OH, SURE, I CAN. YOU JUST CONVINCED ME. 182 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,979 IF I NEVER HAVE TO WASH ANOTHER SWEATY SOCCER SOCK AGAIN... 183 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:30,350 YEAH, BUT, HONEY, WHAT IF EVE IS DESTINED FOR THE OLYMPICS? 184 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,854 MIKE, SHE'S NOT. 185 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,489 WE BOTH WANT TO GO TO RIO-- 186 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:38,959 A CITY WITH A GIANT JESUS STARING AT 4 MILLION THONGS. 187 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,361 WHAT A CULTURE. 188 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,199 SO... HERE'S ANOTHER REASON WHY I SHOULD QUIT SOCCER. 189 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,101 IF I'M NOT ALWAYS COVERED WITH BRUISES, 190 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,971 YOU WON'T GET ALL THOSE DIRTY LOOKS IN CHURCH. 191 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,674 NICE TRY. 192 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,843 YOUR MOM AND I DISCUSSED IT. YOU'RE NOT QUITTING. 193 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,177 NO, WE DIDN'T DECIDE THAT. 194 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,179 I DIDN'T SAY WE AGREED. WE DISCUSSED IT. NO, YOU DID. 195 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,048 YOU ALWAYS JUST ASSUME I AGREE WITH YOU. LOOK, NO, WE HAD A DISCUSSION. 196 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,816 THE WHOLE TIME, THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. NO--TALK TO HER. 197 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,985 LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. HERE, THE POINT IS, 198 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,787 YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS DECISION. 199 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,355 AND APPARENTLY NEITHER IS YOUR MOTHER. OH... 200 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,823 LISTEN... (speaks indistinctly) 201 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,459 YOU PLAY SOCCER. YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT SOCCER. 202 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,394 YOU'RE NOT QUITTING SOCCER. THAT'S THE END OF STORY. 203 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,329 THAT'S SO UNFAIR. NOW YOU'RE PUNISHING ME 204 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,166 FOR BEING GOOD AT SOMETHING? LISTEN, WHEN YOU'RE CARRYING AN AMERICAN FLAG 205 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,568 INTO THAT OLYMPIC STADIUM 206 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,402 REPRESENTING THE U.S. OLYMPIC SOCCER TEAM, 207 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,971 YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME FOR THIS. 208 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,406 OR, BECAUSE MY DAD PUTS TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME, 209 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:29,843 I'LL BE WORKING THE POLE AT BOB'S CLASSY LADY! 210 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:40,220 LIKE THEY'D EVER HIRE A GIRL WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT. 211 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,562 HEY, HONEY, HELP ME OUT HERE. 212 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,163 WHAT DOES THE BLACK CULTURE THINK 213 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,999 OF MICHAEL JACKSON THESE DAYS? 214 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,735 GENIUS OR NUT JOB? 215 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,503 MIKE, COME ON. NOT, I'M NOT KIDDING. IT MAY COME UP. 216 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,071 I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF. KNOW WHAT? 217 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,773 YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE 218 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:02,375 BY BEING A JACKASS, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. 219 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,111 I'M NOT CANCELING TONIGHT. 220 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,546 I DON'T WANT YOU TO CANCEL. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS PARTY. 221 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:10,584 IT'S NOT A PARTY. IT'S JUST DRINKS. AND CHEESE. 222 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,552 WHICH I HOPE THIS GOES WITH WHATEVER THEY DRINK. 223 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,588 WELL, WHAT IF THEY BRING, UH, MALT LIQUOR 224 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:15,956 IN A BROWN PAPER BAG? 225 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,058 OH, GOOD ONE, JACKASS. VERY GOOD. 226 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,427 YOU KNOW, GET 'EM ALL OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM. 227 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,029 GO. JUST GET 'EM OUT. 228 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,597 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? 229 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,598 EVE'S GONNA BE LATE FOR SOCCER. 230 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,799 CAN ONE OF YOU GUYS PLEASE TAKE HER? 231 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:26,967 I DON'T WANNA BE LATE FOR CHOIR 232 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,268 'CAUSE I'M AUDITIONING FOR A SOLO. 233 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,737 EVE, GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE. COME ON, LET'S GO. 234 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,939 COME ON. YEAH, I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT, TOO. 235 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,241 MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY AND BLOW OUT MY KNEE 236 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,943 AND THEN BE OUT FOR THE SEASON. 237 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,912 (doorbell rings) WELL, THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 238 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,413 HI! OH, HELLO. HI. 239 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,049 COME ON IN. THIS IS MY HUSBAND MIKE. OH. 240 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,084 I'M CAROL. GOOD TO--GOOD TO SEE YOU. 241 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,953 YES, NICE TO MEET YOU. MIKE BAXTER. 242 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,587 YES. OH, THIS IS FOR YOU. 243 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,389 WOW. 244 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,124 UH... 245 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,394 I'LL JUST--I'LL--I'LL PUT IT IN THE REFRIGERATOR FOR YOU. 246 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,063 OH. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD. 247 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,231 IT'S A CANDLE. 248 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,168 (laughs) OH. OH, YES, YES, IT I-- 249 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,171 OH, THANK YOU, CAROL. WOW, YEAH. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 250 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,139 THANK YOU. (Carol) WHAT A NICE HOME. 251 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,975 IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME LAYOUT AS OURS, 252 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,810 ONLY I THINK YOURS IS A LITTLE BIGGER. 253 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,813 OH, NO, THEY'RE THE SAME. THEY'RE--THEY'RE EQUAL. 254 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,550 EXCEPT OURS IS CLEARLY BIGGER. 255 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,688 WELL, YOU NEED THE SPACE. YEAH. 256 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,856 YEAH. (laughs) WHERE ARE ALL THOSE KIDS, ANYWAY? 257 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,925 OH... WELL, YOU JUST MISSED MANDY AND EVE, 258 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,961 AND, UH, KRISTIN BROUGHT OUR GRANDSON TO RYAN'S. 259 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,730 HE'S THE BABY DADDY. 260 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,637 IT--IT'S, UH, A TERM THAT WE USE 261 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,108 TO DESCRIBE A FATHER WHO NEVER MARRIED THE MOTHER. 262 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,911 YES. WE'VE HEARD OF THAT. 263 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,952 (piano plays) 264 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:55,488 OKAY. TAKE FIVE MINUTES, EVERYBODY. 265 00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:56,990 (cell phone rings) 266 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,828 HELLO? 267 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,662 MANDY, IT'S CAMMY FROM EVE'S SOCCER TEAM. 268 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,631 THE ONE WITH THE HAIRY LEGS? 269 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,867 NO. THAT'S JEN. AND I KNOW. 270 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,169 SERIOUSLY, SHE LOOKS LIKE A CENTAUR. 271 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,038 (laughs) 272 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,806 ANYWAY, WE HAVE A SITUATION. 273 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,207 OKAY. IS EVE OKAY? 274 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,076 KIND OF. 275 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,478 WE BLEW OFF PRACTICE AND WENT TO TAYLOR'S PARTY. 276 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,882 EVE HAD THREE TEQUILA POPPERS. 277 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,083 EVE DOESN'T DRINK. 278 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,753 YOU'RE TELLING ME. SHE'S TERRIBLE AT IT. 279 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,656 MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE HOME IN AN HOUR, 280 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,058 AND SHE'S HAMMERED! 281 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,926 OKAY. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. GET HER ON HER FEET, 282 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,062 TAKE HER INTO THE BATHROOM. WHY? 283 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,196 BECAUSE IN FIVE MINUTES, 284 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,865 SOMETHING IS COMING OUT OF SOMEWHERE, 285 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,432 AND IT'S GOOD TO BE ON TILE. 286 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,674 NO, WE NEVER GET TO THE MOVIES. 287 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,709 YEAH. HARDLY EVER. HERE YOU GO. 288 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,078 THANK YOU. 289 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,046 LAST MOVIE SHE DRAGGED ME TO WAS "THE HELP." 290 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,184 I WAS YELLING THAT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THAT THEATER-- 291 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,086 "HELP! HELP! HELP!" OH, STOP. 292 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,088 I LOVED IT. 293 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,256 ME, TOO. HOW THAT PRETTY WHITE GIRL 294 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:07,060 STARTS THE WHOLE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT... 295 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,930 VERY INSPIRATIONAL. 296 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,969 IT'S A SHAME, UH, NONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE HERE. 297 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,570 I WANTED TO MEET THEM. 298 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,140 WELL, WE'RE HAVING A-A REAL PROBLEM WITH OUR YOUNG ONE. 299 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,775 SHE'S A SOCCER PLAYER-- GOOD ONE-- 300 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,076 AND SHE WANTS TO QUIT SOCCER. 301 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,945 OH, WE WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING WITH OUR SON. 302 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,780 YEAH? HE GOT BURNED OUT ON SPORTS, 303 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,281 BUT WE DECIDED WE WEREN'T GONNA FORCE HIM. 304 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,483 OH, SEE, NOW I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, CHUCK. 305 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,152 WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. YEAH. NO. NO WHY? 306 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,487 I-IT'S A BAD LESSON. WHEN KIDS ARE GOOD, 307 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,957 THEN YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO STOP DOING IT. IT MAKES THEM LAZY. 308 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,492 I'M SURE THEIR KID ISN'T LAZY. 309 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,328 WELL, IT WORKED WITH OUR SON. 310 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,496 HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, WENT BACK ON HIS OWN. 311 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,665 NOW HE LEADS THE TEAM IN SCORING. 312 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,767 WHAT'S HE DOING, 20, 25 POINTS A GAME? 313 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,270 MORE LIKE 2. HE PLAYS WATER POLO. 314 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,108 WATER POLO? 315 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:58,545 YEP. HE CAN SWIM. 316 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,085 DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU? 317 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,155 UH, NO. NO. WE'RE NOT SURPRISED. 318 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,991 MIKE, HOW--HOW COULD YOU ASSUME THEIR KID PLAYS BASKETBALL? 319 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:14,161 WHY WOULD I ASSUME HE PLAYS WATER POLO? 320 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,030 NO, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 321 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,498 CHUCK'S JUST MESSING WITH YOU. OH... 322 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,133 OUR SON DOES PLAY BASKETBALL. OH. 323 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,536 (laughs) AND HE SWIMS LIKE A ROCK. 324 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,172 (laughs) 325 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,476 AH, I MEAN, I'M SURE HE--HE SWIMS JUST AS WELL 326 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,979 AS ANY OTHER KIND OF KID. YEAH. 327 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,047 HONEY, STOP IT. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 328 00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,316 WE'RE JUST--WE'RE HAVING A PLEASANT CONVERSATION 329 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,951 WITH OUR NEW FRIENDS THE LARABEES. 330 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,119 HEY, CHUCK, DOES THIS FEEL PLEASANT TO YOU? 331 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,322 I ACTUALLY FEEL RATHER TENSE. 332 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:46,459 BECAUSE THIS IS INSANELY AWKWARD. 333 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,162 OH, COME ON. C--STOP KIDDING AROUND, YOU TWO. 334 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,131 COME ON. CAROL AND I ARE GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL. 335 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,467 (laughs) I WOULDN'T SAY REALLY WELL. (Mike chuckles) 336 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,003 LISTEN, MY WIFE'S A LOVELY WOMAN, 337 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,170 AND THE REASON THAT SHE INVITED YOU HERE 338 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,671 IS 'CAUSE SHE FELT GUILTY YOU MIGHT THINK 339 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,407 THAT THAT EGGING WAS RACIALLY MOTIVATED. 340 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,043 I DON'T THINK THE KLAN DOES A LOT OF WORK WITH EGGS. 341 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,644 HA! YOU KNOW, I... 342 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,847 (speaking indistinctly) 343 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,052 WE ONLY CAME BECAUSE VANESSA KINDA PUT US ON THE SPOT. 344 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,353 YEAH, AND WE THOUGHT IF WE SAID NO, 345 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,989 SHE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT THAT WAS RACIALLY MOTIVATED. 346 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:19,192 SO, W-W-W-WAIT, THIS IS GREAT. NO ONE WANTS TO BE HERE! 347 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,063 I WANT TO BE HERE. OH, COME ON, LET IT GO. 348 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,564 JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE NEAR EACH OTHER 349 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,166 DOESN'T MEAN WE GOTTA BE FRIENDS. 350 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,268 YEAH. YOU SEE, WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE NEIGHBORLY WITH NEIGHBORS? 351 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,270 EXACTLY. I DON'T NEED SOME CLOWN 352 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,772 BORROWING MY GARDEN HOSE ONLY TO NEVER SEE IT AGAIN 353 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,874 EXCEPT WHEN HE'S WATERING HIS LAWN WITH IT! 354 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,243 LISTEN TO THIS. LET'S SAY YOU WANT TO COME OVER 355 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,577 AND BORROW MY LAWN MOWER. RIGHT. 356 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,012 MAYBE I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOAN IT TO YOU. 357 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,713 BUT YOU THINK I DON'T LOAN IT TO YOU 358 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,182 'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK AND I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA STEAL IT. 359 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,951 SEE--I'M NOT THAT PARANOID. 360 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,418 EXACTLY! BUT YOU SHOULD BE, 361 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,956 'CAUSE THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT I'D BE THINKING! (laughs) 362 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,891 WELL, I'M GLAD THAT'S SETTLED! YEAH! YEAH! OKAY! 363 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,527 WHOO! YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS ALL RIGHT. 364 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,130 I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IF YOUR HOUSE WAS ON FIRE, 365 00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,132 I WOULD CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. 366 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,134 AND IF SOMEONE WAS BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE, 367 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,902 I'D CALL THE POLICE. 368 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,372 EXCEPT IF IT'S A WHITE GUY. THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND SHOOT HIM. 369 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,941 (laughs) WHAT ARE THE ODDS? 370 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,477 (laughing) 371 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,379 (mouths words) 372 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,314 (sighs) 373 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,049 ARE YOU SURE YOU GUYS DON'T WANT TO TAKE HOME 374 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,285 SOME OF THESE APPETIZERS, TAKE HOME THE CRACKERS? 375 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,988 NO, WE'LL JUST LEAVE YOU FOLKS HERE. 376 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,689 (laughs) 377 00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,393 COME ON, IT'S A CRACKER JOKE. 378 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,733 (knock on door) 379 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,302 THANKS FOR COMING, MANDY. NO TIME. I DO THE TALKING. 380 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,304 CAN SHE WALK ON HER OWN? I THINK SO. 381 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,972 WHAT'S THE E.T.A. ON YOUR PARENTS? 382 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,108 15 MINUTES. WE HAVE TO WORK FAST. 383 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,811 WOW! 384 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,114 MOUTHWASH? EYE DROPS? TOWELETTES? 385 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,582 CLEAN URINE? 386 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,986 I'VE SEEN THINGS YOU CAN'T UNSEE. 387 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,088 CAMMY, YOU JUST WASTED 11 SECONDS 388 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:57,090 YOU COULD'VE SPENT MAKING EVE A CUP OF COFFEE-- 389 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,093 LOTS OF CREAM, LOTS OF SUGAR. IS THIS WATER? YES. 390 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,861 (gasps) 391 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,596 COME ON, EVE! WORK WITH ME! (groaning) 392 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,165 WE GOTTA GET YOU BACK INTO YOUR SOCCER UNIFORM. 393 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,135 UP, UP, UP! YOU DID NOT DITCH SOCCER TONIGHT. (continues groaning) 394 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,170 YOU WENT TO PRACTICE. SAY IT! 395 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,005 (whining) I WENT TO PRACTICE TONIGHT. 396 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,040 SIT DOWN. (cries) 397 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,275 THIS IS ALL DAD'S FAULT FOR FORCING ME 398 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,610 TO STAY ON THE SOCCER TEAM. 399 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,047 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO HAVE DAD THINK 400 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,749 YOU'RE SO GREAT AT SOMETHING. 401 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,186 YEAH, THAT MUST SUCK. 402 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,723 (gasps) 403 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:34,227 (choking and sobbing) I'M AWAKE! 404 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,329 GOOD. NOW WE HAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK 405 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,065 LIKE YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING SOCCER, 406 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,999 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO ROLL YOU AROUND ON THE LAWN A LITTLE BIT. 407 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,505 YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY HAD A GOOD TIME TONIGHT. 408 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,641 AS NEIGHBORS GO, I'D HANG OUT WITH CHUCK. 409 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,177 BETTER THAN THAT GUY ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIM 410 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,812 WHOSE MAILBOX LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE VERSION OF HIS HOUSE. 411 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,981 WHAT A PUTZ! 412 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,884 WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE THE LARABEES OVER FOR DINNER. 413 00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,719 WHO ARE THE LARABEES? 414 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,954 (mouths words) 415 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,694 OKAY, THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN. 416 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,162 I'M GONNA KEEP THEM DISTRACTED. 417 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,997 ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS GO UPSTAIRS 418 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,165 AND GO TO BED, OKAY? 419 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,933 OKAY. 420 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,605 HI! 421 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,906 WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING OFF TO? 422 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,274 GUYS, I WANNA TELL YOU ABOUT CHOIR! 423 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,076 GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? I GOT A SOLO! 424 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,344 GOOD! OH, THAT'S GREAT, HONEY. 425 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,378 YEAH! GOOD! 426 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,013 SO YOU WANNA LET ME SING IT FOR YOU? 427 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,381 OH, WAIT, WE SHOULD DO IT IN THE GARAGE. 428 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,450 IT HAS BETTER ACOUSTICS. YEAH. 429 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:34,020 (ascending and descending) * MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI * 430 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,388 (body thuds) * MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI, MI * 431 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,090 WHAT WAS THAT? 432 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,726 UH, ARPEGGIOS. I'M WARMING UP. 433 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,095 EVE? HEY, HEY, HEY. DID YOU FALL DOWN? 434 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,931 I'M FINE, DAD. JUST GET OUT OF MY ROOM. 435 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,899 HOW MUCH HAS SHE HAD TO DRINK? 436 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,535 JUST A FEW TEQUILA POPPERS. 437 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,936 TEQUILA? SERIOUSLY? 438 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:52,105 YOU'RE QUITTING SOCCER, YOU'RE DRINKING? 439 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,473 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! 440 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,977 OKAY... 441 00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,579 WHAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION? 442 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:00,980 UGH. 443 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,216 YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY ANSWERS OUT OF HER TONIGHT. 444 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,784 WE'LL DEAL WITH THIS TOMORROW MORNING. 445 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,153 YEAH. YOUR ROOM'S GONNA BE SPINNING A BIT, 446 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:07,587 BUT IT'LL SLOW DOWN BY THE TIME 447 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,988 YOU GET OUT OF THERE IN FOUR MONTHS! 448 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,090 (Vanessa) COME ON. 449 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,059 YOU TAKE YOUR SISTER OUT AND YOU GET HER DRUNK? 450 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,093 WHAT? NO! 451 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,628 DON'T LIE TO ME. I'M NOT LYING! 452 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,997 SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH, DAD. SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE. 453 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,666 YOU DON'T NEED TO COVER FOR YOUR SISTER. 454 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,967 I'M NOT. SHE'S COVERING FOR ME. 455 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,069 IT WAS ALL MY FAULT. BATHROOM. 456 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,337 WHAT? 457 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,039 BATHROOM! BATHROOM! BATHROOM! 458 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,977 YOU SEE? ALL I DID WAS TRY TO HELP. 459 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,779 (door closes) SHE'S OBVIOUSLY ACTING OUT BECAUSE YOU FORCED HER 460 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,414 TO PLAY SOCCER, AND SHE HATES IT. 461 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,583 I'M NOT IN THE HABIT OF LETTING MY DAUGHTERS JUST QUIT STUFF 462 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,686 BECAUSE IT GETS TOUGH. OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU LET ME QUIT, UH, 463 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,921 SAXOPHONE, DANCE CLASS, UH, TYPING, 464 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,191 THAT--THAT--THAT THING WITH THE ICE SKATES? 465 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,594 ICE SKATING. 466 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,162 I WAS GETTING THERE! 467 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,164 YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ME LIKE YOU BELIEVE IN EVE, 468 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,999 SO YOU LET ME QUIT STUFF ALL THE TIME. 469 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,101 YOU COULD QUIT YELLING AT ME. I'LL LET YOU DO THAT. 470 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,636 EVE SO MUCH AS MENTIONS QUITTING SOCCER, 471 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,171 AND YOU ACT LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD. 472 00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:00,006 BUT I HAD TO LEAVE CHOIR EARLY TONIGHT 473 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,375 TO GO AND HELP HER, AND I MIGHT LOSE MY SOLO! 474 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,744 BUT YOU--YOU COULD CARE LESS! 475 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,188 (sighs) 476 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,292 MORNING, HONEY. 477 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,294 (groaning) MOMMY, I'M SO SICK. 478 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,363 MM. YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW. 479 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,765 IT'S CALLED A HANGOVER. 480 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,002 IT WAS SO MUCH FUNNIER IN THAT MOVIE. 481 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,004 (sighs) 482 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,073 HERE. OH. LET GO. LET GO. (groans softly) 483 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,976 YOU KNOW WHAT, EVIE? YOU REALLY LET ME DOWN. 484 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,813 AND I WAS ACTUALLY ON YOUR SIDE WITH THIS WHOLE SOCCER THING. 485 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,815 REALLY? 486 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,050 DOES THAT MEAN I CAN QUIT? 487 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,918 (chuckles) NO WAY. 488 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:48,988 UGH! 489 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,590 THIS LITTLE STUNT CONVINCED ME 490 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,726 THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF. 491 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,595 OH, GOOD, YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR UNIFORM, 492 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,196 'CAUSE YOU GOT A GAME IN AN HOUR. 493 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,699 BUT I HAVE A HANGOVER. 494 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,868 YEAH, THAT'S GONNA SUCK. 495 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:06,205 IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS SLICING ORANGES. 496 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,041 (door slams) AH! 497 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,347 (bottles rattling) 498 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,882 HMM. SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF DEAD SOLDIERS IN THERE. 499 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:19,552 WAS I A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU AND MOM, TOO? 500 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,088 WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE. 501 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,956 DAD, EVE TOLD YOU IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 502 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,958 I MEANT ME. 503 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:29,729 I'M CONFUSED. ARE YOU ADMITTING YOU MADE A MISTAKE? 504 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,133 DON'T GET USED TO IT. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN. 505 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,736 HONEY, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU 506 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:37,970 TRYING TO HELP YOUR SISTER LAST NIGHT. 507 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,473 WELL, YOU KNOW, WE ALL HAVE TO BE THERE FOR EVE. 508 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,141 I ASSUME YOU GUYS JUST KEEP ME AROUND 509 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,944 IN CASE SHE NEEDS A KIDNEY. 510 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,314 LISTEN, HONEY, 511 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,981 I BELIEVE IN YOU JUST AS MUCH AS I BELIEVE IN EVE. 512 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,617 IT'S JUST THAT THE THINGS YOU'RE GOOD AT 513 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,151 REALLY AREN'T IN MY WHEELHOUSE. 514 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,321 DO YOU MEAN LIKE BEING BEAUTIFUL AND SOCIALLY GRACEFUL 515 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:58,090 AND FASHIONABLE, WITH A KIND OF RADIANT STAR QUALITY? 516 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,127 YEAH, THAT CRAP. 517 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,063 YOU'RE VERY CONFIDENT, 518 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,966 AND SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT YOU NEED ENCOURAGEMENT. 519 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,569 YEAH. MAYBE JUST ONCE... OKAY. 520 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,605 EVERY DAY OR SO, WHEN I DO SOMETHING ESPECIALLY AMAZING. 521 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,174 WELL, I'M GONNA PUSH YOU JUST AS HARD AS I DO EVE. 522 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,943 AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA QUIT THAT SHOW CHOIR. 523 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,945 WHEN DO YOU DO THAT SOLO? IN A COUPLE MONTHS. 524 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,814 I WILL BE THERE. 525 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,016 UNLESS EVE HAS A SOCCER GAME. 526 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,352 (clicks tongue) 40096

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