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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:10,670
♪♪
2
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:12,330
I know it's Christmas,
Mom,
3
00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:14,420
but I think you have to
stay home with Dad.
4
00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:18,080
He needs you
to take care of him right now.
5
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,290
I'm sad, too.
6
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,420
Bye, Mom.
7
00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:24,670
[ Cellphone thuds ]
8
00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,290
What's with
the happy dance?
9
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:28,040
Remember how
my dad's foot surgery
10
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,460
was supposed to be healed
by now?
11
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:30,670
It did, but great news.
12
00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:32,670
The bone set wrong,
and they had to rebreak it.
13
00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:33,880
How lucky is that?
14
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:35,210
You're a regular
Clara Barton.
15
00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:37,460
It's not an insult if I don't
know who you're talking about.
16
00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:38,250
True.
17
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,670
I'm gonna miss my dad,
18
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,750
but with my mother
not being here,
19
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,330
I will finally be able
to make
20
00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:45,830
my Nana's Bavarian Meat Tree
with Taylor.
21
00:00:45,830 --> 00:00:47,330
What are you
signing me up for?
22
00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,330
It's this tradition
I always did with her.
23
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,960
It's a mini Christmas tree
24
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,670
made of sausage,
lunch meats, and meatballs.
25
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:56,170
For Christmas this year,
I want to not do that.
26
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:58,420
You're gonna love it
so much!
27
00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:00,330
If it's so great,
then why'd you stop doing it?
28
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:02,380
After Nana died,
my mother banned it.
29
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,620
With your parents not coming
and my parents not coming,
30
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:06,830
it's just gonna be us.
Mm.
31
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,960
You still haven't talked
to Grandpa? It's been two years.
32
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,420
Well, since he told me he had
a second family in England
33
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,170
and I have a brother
that I've never met --
34
00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:14,460
also named Greg --
35
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,830
Are we allowed
to laugh at that yet?
36
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,380
No!
37
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,330
Anyway, I haven't really
been in the mood
38
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,540
to call up my parents
and see what's shakin'.
39
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,830
I'm sorry, Dad.
40
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:25,500
It's a little weird
that it's Christmas
41
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,290
and there's
no other family coming.
42
00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:28,670
It's kind of depressing,
actually.
43
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:31,420
All I know is,
less relatives means less gifts.
44
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,830
You mean "fewer" relatives
means "fewer" gifts.
45
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:36,460
Hey, Dad?
Literally no one cares.
46
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:38,540
Speaking of gifts,
I got you
47
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:40,330
the perfect Greg Otto gift
this year.
48
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:42,210
I put a lot of thought
into it.
49
00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:44,000
I didn't just give you
the Starbucks gift card
50
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,620
that I forgot to give
Anna-Kat's teacher.
51
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:46,670
I can't wait.
52
00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,040
Maybe this won't be so bad.
53
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,500
Maybe less family
means less drama.
54
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,460
Don't you mean "fewer" family
means "fewer" drama?
55
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,330
Anna-Kat:
Oliver, no! I made that!
Oliver: Get out of my face!
56
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,460
Oliver,
what did you do?
57
00:01:57,460 --> 00:01:59,670
He broke the chimney
off my gingerbread house.
58
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:01,170
It's food!
59
00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:02,830
I built that with Dad!
60
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,420
You wrecked
the whole ventilation system.
61
00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:05,830
There's
a vanilla wafer furnace!
62
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:07,710
Stop ruining
our drama-free Christmas!
63
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,750
Now, go upstairs
and do something together.
64
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:12,500
Without fighting,
or Christmas is canceled!
65
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,330
Remember what we said
about making threats
66
00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:15,500
we can't
follow through on?
67
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:16,540
Who are you to talk?
68
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,920
You potty-trained
all three of them
69
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,670
by threatening if they
didn't stop using diapers,
70
00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:20,960
Elmo would quit
show business.
71
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:26,420
♪♪
72
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,250
♪♪
73
00:02:29,330 --> 00:02:30,500
Hey, Mom.
74
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:33,500
One sec. I'm tracking
Dad's surprise Christmas gift.
75
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,540
It's exactly
what he needs this year.
76
00:02:35,540 --> 00:02:37,540
Don't ask what it is, because
I'm not going to tell you.
77
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,420
I won't, because I have
zero interest.
78
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,540
I'll tell you
if you guess.
79
00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:41,330
Fine.
80
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:42,500
Uh...surfboard?
81
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,580
That was
a terrible guess.
82
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,170
It was better
when you didn't even care.
83
00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:47,000
Ehh.
84
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,330
This is so much meat!
85
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:51,960
I know! I'm handing down
the family meat-tree tradition.
86
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,080
I can't believe
this is what I inherit.
87
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,120
Don't you have
any jewelry?
88
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,580
No, you get a meat tree.
89
00:02:57,580 --> 00:02:59,920
♪♪
90
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,920
I'm sorry I ate your chimney,
so let me make it up to you.
91
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,670
Wait. This is where Mom and Dad
hide all our presents?
92
00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:12,500
In their closet?
Not smart.
93
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:15,750
Nope. We are fighting
an uphill battle genetically.
94
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,500
Mine.
95
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,620
Taylor's.
96
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,580
Yours.
97
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,920
Feels like another
junior-executive pencil set.
98
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,380
What part of
"I'll just take the cash"
99
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:29,960
do they not understand?
100
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,790
Oh, this unwrapped one
has no card.
101
00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:35,500
It's probably for me.
102
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,790
Says who?
103
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:37,710
I do!
104
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:38,710
[ Clank ]
105
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,330
[ Gasps ]
106
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,790
Oh, no! We broke
Mom's serving platter.
107
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,620
Mom uses it
every Christmas.
108
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:45,830
We're so dead.
109
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:47,960
No one has to know.
I can fix this.
110
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,830
How?
It's completely broken.
111
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,000
Do you know how many things
I've broken in this house
112
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,170
and glued back together
with no one noticing?
113
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♪♪
114
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,750
I can fix this thing.
No problem.
115
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,120
I don't think I could handle
seeing the disappointed look
116
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,330
on Mom's face
if she found out we broke it.
117
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:09,380
That would kill me.
118
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,210
That's the beauty --
there's no guilt.
119
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,250
Because I do such a great job
at fixing things,
120
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,880
there are never
any consequences.
121
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,710
Have you ever broken anything
of mine and not told me?
122
00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:18,500
Never.
123
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:23,960
♪♪
124
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:26,500
I don't believe you.
125
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,000
Clever girl.
126
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,000
♪♪
127
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,040
Ugh.
This is so nasty.
128
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,750
I can't get the meat rolls
to stick.
129
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,380
I know. My grandmother
made it look easy.
130
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:38,920
But we're making memories.
131
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,920
Not good ones.
132
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,040
[ Doorbell rings ]
133
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,670
Nobody get the door
except Dad!
134
00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:44,880
Greg!
Your present's here!
135
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,380
Maybe it's Amazon
with the "Big Book of
Shakespearean Insults"
136
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:49,420
I asked for.
137
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:50,920
"Methink'st thou art
a general offense
138
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,670
and every man
should beat thee"!
139
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,290
[ Chuckles ]
140
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:55,250
Okay.
141
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,670
[ British accent ] Hello.
Are you Greg Otto?
142
00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:00,830
Yeah.
143
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,330
I'm Greg Otto, too.
144
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:03,330
What's that, now?
145
00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:06,040
Greg, this is Greg,
146
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,500
your half-brother
from your father's secret family
147
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,040
all the way from England.
148
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,670
I told you I got you
the perfect Greg Otto gift!
149
00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:15,330
You're my half-brother.
150
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:17,040
But I'm going to give you
a full hug.
151
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,580
[ Sleigh bells jingle ]
152
00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:20,580
[ Whispering ] I said
I wanted the Shakespeare book.
153
00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:21,580
Shakespeare!
154
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:22,620
♪♪
155
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:23,540
Brother!
156
00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:31,250
So, I bet you're wondering
how all of this happened, Greg.
157
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,710
No, it's pretty clear
how this happened.
158
00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,750
I met a cute girl
when I was a TA,
159
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,000
and now I'm here.
160
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,000
A few weeks back,
I found out from Father
161
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,790
that I have a long-lost brother
in the Colonies.
162
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:44,460
That means America.
163
00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,790
Everyone knows that.
164
00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:47,210
Well, that's
where you're wrong, Oliver,
165
00:05:47,210 --> 00:05:48,250
because I don't know that.
166
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:50,040
Look at you,
making me feel stupid.
167
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,120
Well, as luck would have it,
when I tracked you down,
168
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,420
your lovely wife
happened to answer the phone.
169
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,880
That was lucky.
170
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,290
I'm a lucky guy.
171
00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:01,500
While we spoke, I mentioned
I was coming to lecture at Yale.
172
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,120
And I said,
"Let's keep this a secret
173
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,210
and have you come over as
a surprise gift for Christmas."
174
00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:08,500
British Gregs are flying
off the shelves this year.
175
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,250
[ Laughter ]
176
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,540
[ Forced chuckle ]
177
00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:13,670
It's so cool
we have a British uncle.
178
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,540
Here.
What's this called?
179
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:16,830
A biscuit.
180
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:19,120
Aw, man, that is not
what we call it here at all.
181
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,250
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,210
Chiseled face,
charming accent.
183
00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:23,880
Would it be okay
if I called you "Dad"?
184
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:24,830
Oliver!
185
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,500
Shh, Greg.
I'm talking to my dad.
186
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,420
So, uh...
187
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:31,460
how did it come up with Father
that you have a brother?
188
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,000
He told me
while he was in London
189
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,080
for the Charles Dickens
Holiday Festival.
190
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,120
We've gone together every year
since I was a boy.
191
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,290
How nice.
192
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,330
The only place he ever took me
was the travel agent
193
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,080
so that he could buy
his plane tickets --
194
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,000
[ Gasps ]
195
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,670
...to England.
196
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:46,790
Ah.
197
00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:50,420
Interesting tidbit --
198
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,670
not only are you
both professors,
199
00:06:52,670 --> 00:06:54,790
but you're both authors,
too.
200
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:58,170
That's right. Greg, I
read your John Stuart Mill
book on the plane.
201
00:06:58,170 --> 00:06:59,330
I absolutely loved it.
202
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:00,460
Thank you.
203
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,460
[ Whispering ] You need to say
something to him right now.
204
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,210
Talk to him.
Say something!
205
00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:12,710
What's your book about?
206
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:14,000
Books, technically.
207
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,580
It's a series of novels
about the Norman Conquest.
208
00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:18,880
A series? Wow.
209
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,670
I mean, don't feel obligated
to read it.
210
00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:22,790
It's a lot.
211
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,620
Uh, just wait for it
to come out in theaters.
212
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,000
Unless you don't like
George Clooney.
213
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,290
Then just skip it.
214
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:28,580
Dad, this is crazy.
215
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:30,120
Uncle Greg
is exactly like you,
216
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,710
only the way-better
version.
217
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:34,000
What an astute
observation, son.
218
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,170
No, seriously.
219
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,500
He's Restoration Hardware,
220
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,670
and you're whatever
discount brand this couch is.
221
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,750
Katie, could you help me change
the toner on the printer?
222
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:43,920
Why don't you ask
Oliver --
223
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,540
It needs to be you,
and it needs to be now.
224
00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:50,540
Is...?
225
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:53,420
So, if you're looking for
the bathroom, what do you say?
226
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:54,670
"Which way to the loo?"
227
00:07:54,670 --> 00:07:55,880
Amazing.
228
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,620
Clear your Monday.
I'm taking you to show-and-tell.
229
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:58,620
Ah, okay.
230
00:08:00,670 --> 00:08:02,880
Just wondering out loud,
but what made you think
231
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,670
for the holidays,
I would want a visit
232
00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,580
from my father's
illegitimate love child?
233
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:08,000
Well, I asked
Doris and Angela,
234
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,790
and they said
I definitely should.
235
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,330
Definitely don't do that.
That is the worst idea
I've ever heard.
236
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:14,830
Mm...you know what?
I'm gonna do it.
237
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:16,290
I just thought
it would be nice for you
238
00:08:16,290 --> 00:08:17,500
to have more family
in your life
239
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,040
since you stopped talking
to your parents.
240
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,500
I don't need more family
in my life,
241
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,500
and I don't need you
meddling in my business.
242
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,830
That's a wife's job.
I'm mucking around in your pond.
243
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,290
What?
Your pond.
Your emotional pond.
244
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:30,500
What does that mean?
On the surface, a pond
is still and tranquil.
245
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,670
You got to get down
to the bottom
246
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,000
and bring
all the bad stuff up.
247
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,120
Why would you
want to do that?!
248
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,500
To heal?
I don't know.
249
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,750
I don't write the Lifetime
movies, Greg. I just watch them.
250
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,460
Now, listen -- I love you,
and I'm trying to help you.
251
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:43,830
So go out there
and appreciate it.
252
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:45,000
Fine.
253
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:48,290
But for the record,
254
00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:50,330
are we really sure
he is who he says he is?
255
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,500
He could be grifting us.
256
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,750
I'll be sure to lock up
257
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,500
our collection
of ketchup packets.
258
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,120
Look! Uncle Greg figured out how
to make the meat rolls stick.
259
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,750
I spent a little time
in Bavaria.
260
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,580
I know my way
around a meat tree.
261
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,710
What were you
doing there?
262
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:08,960
I guess just being handsome
and younger than me.
263
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:19,000
♪♪
264
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:27,500
♪♪
265
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,170
Looks good.
266
00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,170
Fan me.
267
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,330
♪♪
268
00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:34,170
[ Click, whirring ]
269
00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:35,250
What do we do now?
270
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,830
We'll wait for it to dry.
271
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:39,330
In the meantime, we'll go
downstairs and act natural.
272
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:41,080
I don't like
lying to Mom.
273
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,000
It's not a lie.
It's a cover-up.
274
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,000
Like how the moon landing
was filmed on a soundstage
275
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,170
in Arizona?
276
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,000
The Internet
is not good for you.
277
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,750
Katie: I'm just grabbing
Nana's platter.
278
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:52,830
[ Click, whirring stops ]
Then I'm coming right back
to meat tree it up!
279
00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:55,040
She's coming up for the platter.
We're so busted!
280
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,380
Relax.
281
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,170
We'll do that thing
where we fight in front of her
282
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,460
and she gets annoyed
and then forgets
283
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:03,290
what she was gonna do
in the first place.
284
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,830
[ Drawer opens ]
285
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,040
Follow me.
286
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,420
Mom, Oliver ate
all the M&M's
287
00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:16,380
out of my giant
Christmas candy cane.
288
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:17,710
I didn't see
your name on it!
289
00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:19,380
My name is literally
written on it
290
00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:21,830
in huge, green,
sparkly letters!
291
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,960
Well, maybe if you --
Hey, can you guys
please stop?
292
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,420
All I want for Christmas
is for you two to get along.
293
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,830
Is that too much to ask?
294
00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:29,080
No.
No.
295
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,080
Thank you.
296
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,960
Wait. Why did I
come up here?
297
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,500
To ask us to come downstairs
and visit more with Uncle Greg?
298
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,000
Oh, right!
299
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,120
Don't take long.
300
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,290
Whoa.
301
00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,960
You just controlled
her mind.
302
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,380
You're like that fungus
that gets into an ant's brain,
303
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:46,290
then makes the ant climb
to the top of a tree
304
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:47,790
and then blows up
the ant's head
305
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:50,500
so the fungal spores
go all over the forest.
306
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,670
Yeah, I guess I am.
307
00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:56,500
♪♪
308
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,080
Oh. Hey.
309
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,170
Hope you don't mind.
310
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,210
Just snooping around
your office a bit.
311
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:04,170
Ah, these photos of your family
are lovely.
312
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:06,250
All I have on my walls
are degrees and awards.
313
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,330
[ Chuckles ]
314
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,000
Yeah.
We all get it.
315
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
You're the more successful
brother. Congrats.
316
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:11,960
What?
317
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,580
Oh, no,
you've got it all wrong.
318
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:16,620
You've got the lovely wife
and the three amazing kids.
319
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:18,460
I'm all alone.
320
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,540
No, you're
the more successful brother.
321
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,290
I am?
322
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,040
That's why I came to America
so quickly
323
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,750
when I found out
I had a sibling.
324
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:29,540
I mean, the one thing
I've always wanted is a family.
325
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:30,830
You never married?
326
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:33,330
No, just a series
of vapid models,
327
00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:36,830
bouncing around from
nimble woman to nimble woman,
328
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,920
most of them half my age.
329
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,210
Let's move on
from your sad love life.
330
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:42,580
But you understand
the importance of family.
331
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:44,540
That's why I'm sure
you would've tracked me down
332
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:46,000
as soon as you found out
about me,
333
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,000
but Katie cooked up
this little surprise instead.
334
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,920
[ Door opens, closes ]
Yeah. O-Of course.
I-I would've come running.
335
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,540
Katie: Greg!
Can you come in here, please?
336
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:55,670
Coming.
Coming.
337
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:58,170
Oh, that's...
probably you.
338
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:01,500
Katie: Look who's here, Greg --
my mother.
339
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,750
What a surprise.
340
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:05,620
Yeah, well, uh,
Greg called me and said
341
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,920
how much you missed me,
so I just stuffed your father
342
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,960
with the loose pills I found
at the bottom of my purse
343
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,040
and came right over.
344
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,420
Oh, that is
so sweet of him.
345
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:14,170
Greg, can you come
in the office
346
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:15,920
and help me check
on the printer toner again?
347
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,670
Katie, I can --
We're low on magenta,
Greg.
348
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,880
We're low.
349
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:23,920
Happy Christmas.
350
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,330
I have no idea
who you are,
351
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:28,000
but I have a feeling you know
how to make a rum hot toddy.
352
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000
That, I do.
353
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,120
Alright, then.
354
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,080
Oh, my God.
355
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,960
A meat tree?
356
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,170
I thought I buried
that tradition with my mother.
357
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,170
Um, what the hell, Greg?
358
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,420
Let me explain.
359
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:44,960
When I invited your mom,
it was in retaliation
360
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,460
to you inviting my brother
without asking me.
361
00:12:47,460 --> 00:12:50,290
But in the meantime --
and here's the funny twist --
362
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,500
my brother and I had
a really nice moment,
363
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,330
and I realized
you were right.
364
00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:56,000
I am super mad at you.
365
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,620
But real quick --
what am I right about?
366
00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:00,120
I do regret not calling
my brother for two years.
367
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,380
My pond
needed to be mucked.
368
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,750
Maybe yours does, too.
369
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,920
Maybe me
revenge-inviting your mom
370
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,080
was a good thing.
371
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,040
I just wanted to bond
with Taylor,
372
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,750
and now my mother
is going to ruin it.
373
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,250
In the future, leave the mucking
to the professionals.
374
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:17,540
[ Piano plays ]
375
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:20,830
♪ You better watch out,
you better not cry ♪
376
00:13:20,830 --> 00:13:24,330
♪ You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why ♪
377
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:25,420
♪ Santa Claus... ♪
378
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:27,920
Wow.
He plays the piano, too.
379
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,080
He has a very sad,
lonely life.
380
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,790
♪ Santa Claus is comin' ♪
381
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:37,920
♪ To toooooooooooown ♪
382
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,040
[ Laughter ]
383
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,040
What a nice Christmas
this is turning out to be.
384
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,040
I'm just thrilled to be
with family this year.
385
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,620
Kathryn: Oh, Greg,
your brother is fabulous.
386
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,920
Why did it take you two years
to get in touch with him?
387
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,670
Pardon?
388
00:13:49,670 --> 00:13:52,000
Yeah, yeah,
two years ago Thanksgiving,
389
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,540
Greg's mother let it slip
390
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:55,750
that his dad
had a second family.
391
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,330
Ugh.
It was so uncomfortable.
392
00:13:58,330 --> 00:14:00,250
And everybody
was miserable.
393
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:01,710
I loved it.
[ Chuckles ]
394
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,830
You knew about me
two years ago
395
00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:06,290
and never thought to call?
396
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:07,290
It's complicated, Greg.
397
00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:09,580
You lied to me, Greg.
398
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,920
That makes you
no better than Dad.
399
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,250
Uh, I need some air.
400
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,420
Kathryn: Ooh.
401
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,920
[ Door opens ]
This could give
that Thanksgiving
402
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,620
a run for its money.
[ Door closes ]
403
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:22,330
Now I see why you didn't want
your mother here for Christmas.
404
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,670
Wait, w-- You --
You didn't want me here?
405
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,750
Then why did he call me
and say that you did?
406
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,420
He invited you here
to get back at me
407
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,580
for inviting his brother
without asking him.
408
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,290
Oh, so this was
a spite invite?
409
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,420
Just for that,
I am staying for two weeks.
410
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,710
I didn't know you didn't
want to see your brother,
411
00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:41,790
but you knew I didn't
want to see my mother.
412
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,670
[ Scoffs ]
I'm staying three weeks,
413
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,080
and I'm wearing
the shorty robe.
414
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,170
[ Gasps ]
415
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:49,710
♪♪
416
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:55,420
♪♪
417
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:56,830
[ Both sigh ]
418
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,040
There goes the drama-free
Christmas we wanted.
419
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,620
Worst part is,
it's all our fault.
420
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:04,040
Should've just gotten
you the flashlight
I saw on Facebook.
421
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,000
It also can break a windshield
if you drive into a lake.
422
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,080
Smart.
423
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,500
I'm gonna go out front
and wait for my brother.
424
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,920
You go deal with your mom.
425
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,210
Why are the holidays
about family?
426
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,330
Why can't it just be
about Chinese food
427
00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:17,960
and going to the movies?
428
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,210
Should we become Jewish?
429
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,420
I don't know. Maybe.
430
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,540
Ehh.
431
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:28,670
[ Katie sighs ]
432
00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:30,170
[ Door closes ]
433
00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:31,170
Hi, Mom.
434
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,210
I get it.
You hate me.
435
00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:35,580
Is it because I missed
most of your birthday parties?
436
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,880
Or because I made out with
your boyfriend in high school?
437
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,670
Because I told you --
Mom, I know.
438
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,710
He kissed you, and you were
just being polite.
439
00:15:41,710 --> 00:15:42,830
Exactly.
440
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,330
You're making this
very hard for me
441
00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:46,120
to say I'm sorry
about all this.
442
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,670
Well, why didn't you want me
to come to Christmas Eve dinner?
443
00:15:48,670 --> 00:15:49,880
I knew you would
get in the way
444
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,710
of me doing my thing
with Taylor.
445
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:53,670
You tend to be
somewhat judgmental.
446
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:54,960
Oh, stop it.
I --
447
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,290
[ Sniffs ]
448
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,330
Oh. Where'd you get this wine?
The car wash?
449
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,000
[ Chuckles ]
450
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,620
I see.
451
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,170
Building this with Taylor
this year
452
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,420
was just too important
for you to mess up.
453
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:06,920
Well, why is this year
so important?
454
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,540
Because next year,
she's going off to college,
455
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,960
and this is
her last Christmas at home.
456
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,290
So? She'll be back.
457
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,250
I told you I'd come back,
and I never did.
458
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:16,710
Yeah, but why would you
come back?
459
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,170
I mean, I was a terrible mother.
You're not.
460
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,420
You take an interest
in Taylor's life.
461
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:23,790
[ Sighs ]
She'll be back.
462
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:28,290
You think?
463
00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:29,580
Trust me.
464
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,960
Uh...my Spam angel
isn't exactly turning out.
465
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,710
Don't worry about it.
466
00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:38,620
Meat tree is off.
467
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:39,710
Yes!
468
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,000
You're the best mom.
469
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,880
How about we start a new
tradition that's not nauseating?
470
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,500
Something that the three of us
can do together.
471
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,500
Really?
Mm-hmm.
472
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,830
We could build
a snowman.
473
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,250
I don't think
Grandma wants to stand
474
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:51,540
out in the freezing cold,
honey.
475
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,880
Actually, Grandma has
her own holiday tradition
476
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,290
that keeps her
very warm.
477
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:56,330
[ Chuckles ]
478
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:57,620
Mm.
479
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,330
What are we gonna do
with this?
480
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:03,380
♪♪
481
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,500
[ Whimpers ]
482
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,830
Even he thinks
it's gross.
483
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,670
It's not Christmas
without Nana's platter, Mom.
484
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,080
That's what
I went upstairs for.
485
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,170
Thank you, sweetie.
486
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,330
[ Gasps ]
487
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,170
What the hell?
488
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,210
That platter survived
two world wars
489
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:31,170
and Lee Majors'
Christmas Bacchanalia.
490
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:33,290
[ Both sigh ]
491
00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:36,120
I can't believe
I did this.
492
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,080
Mom,
it wasn't your fault.
493
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,960
You didn't break the platter.
We did.
494
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,750
Anna-Kat:
We glued it back together,
495
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:48,670
but we didn't let it dry
long enough.
496
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:51,290
I can't believe
the two of you did this.
497
00:17:51,290 --> 00:17:54,170
Anna-Kat was there, but I
convinced her to cover it up.
498
00:17:54,170 --> 00:17:56,500
Oliver, you are in
so much troub--
499
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,830
To be fair, Mom,
all you wanted for Christmas
500
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,880
was for us to get along,
and...
501
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,120
look at us.
502
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,960
So you're saying you worked
together to deceive me,
503
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,380
and that's how
you got along?
504
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,500
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
505
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,380
Okay.
506
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:16,420
But because of this,
you two are going to repair it
507
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,380
so that Taylor
can inherit it.
508
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,960
You seriously don't have
one piece of jewelry to give me?
509
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,710
Mnh-mnh.
510
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:30,500
♪♪
511
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,120
It's pretty cold out here
for a walk.
512
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,710
You've been gone
a while.
513
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:35,500
"Blow, blow,
thou winter wind,
514
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:39,170
thou art not so unkind
as man's ingratitude."
515
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:40,540
I deserve that.
516
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,210
Nothing stings quite as much
as a good Shakespearean burn.
517
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,040
I'm sorry I didn't try
and find you
518
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,170
as soon as Dad told me
I had a brother.
519
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,330
I think I was still
angry with him,
520
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,710
and I took it out
on you.
521
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,460
Yeah, I can see that.
522
00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:55,880
Now that I've met you,
I understand
523
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,460
why he never approved
of anything I did.
524
00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,790
He had another son
he approved of -- you.
525
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:02,580
That's not really
the truth, Greg.
526
00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,790
I was sent away to
boarding school when I was 7.
527
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:07,330
Dad saw me
two weeks a year.
528
00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:09,290
I now realize
that's 'cause he was here
529
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,960
the rest of the year --
with you.
530
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,170
He was, but he took
absolutely no interest in me.
531
00:19:14,170 --> 00:19:15,330
Ah.
532
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,000
So I guess
we were both neglected,
533
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,330
just in different ways.
534
00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:20,960
It's funny --
you're the only other person
535
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,620
who knows what it's like
to have our father.
536
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,330
And who knows the crazy sound
he makes after he sneezes.
537
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,920
Both: Achoo-floo-floo!
538
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,710
What is that?
[ Chuckling ]
I don't know.
539
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,710
[ Sighs ]
540
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,830
So...brothers?
541
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:33,540
Ah, brothers.
542
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,830
[ Grunts ]
543
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:35,920
[ Chuckles ]
544
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,580
I think it's time
we show these kids
545
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,120
how to have
a real snowball fight!
546
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,710
Come on, American Greg!
547
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,120
So, Dad never taught you
to throw a ball, either?
548
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,750
No, he did not.
Mm.
549
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,120
Let's get 'em!
550
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,790
[ Laughter, screaming ]
551
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,670
♪♪
552
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:57,500
[ Laughter ]
553
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,500
It is?
Mm-hmm.
554
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,750
Thank you.
555
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,790
[ Laughter ]
556
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:05,500
♪♪
557
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,040
You want
to cock it back...
558
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,710
Okay.
...step, throw.
559
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,790
[ Indistinct talking ]
560
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:14,210
[ Camera clicks ]
561
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:17,710
♪♪
562
00:20:17,710 --> 00:20:20,460
When everyone's asleep,
let's add our gifts to Santa's.
563
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:22,670
Now that I have
a brother,
564
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:24,620
we have so much brother stuff
to catch up on.
565
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:28,830
I'm glad that you're excited
that you have a brother.
566
00:20:28,830 --> 00:20:29,960
I am.
567
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,710
I'm glad
you mucked in my pond.
568
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,830
Thank you, honey.
569
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:34,170
Uh, quick question.
570
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:37,250
I know that Taylor is,
but is Oliver of drinking age?
571
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,080
None of the kids
are old enough to drink.
572
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,750
Right.
573
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,500
I knew that.
574
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,040
Kids, bad news!
575
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,170
Ugh.
576
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,710
Next time, Greg,
just drown me in the pond.
577
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,750
♪ Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
578
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:56,670
♪ "Glory to the newborn King ♪
579
00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:59,330
♪ Peace on Earth
and mercy mild ♪
580
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:02,330
♪ God and sinners reconciled" ♪
581
00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:05,330
♪ Joyful, all ye nations rise ♪
582
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:08,580
♪ Join the triumph
of the skies ♪
583
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:11,330
♪ With angelic hosts proclaim ♪
584
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:14,330
♪ "Christ is born
in Bethlehem" ♪
585
00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:16,670
♪ Hark! The herald a-- ♪
586
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:19,330
Oliver.
587
00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:21,710
♪♪
41696
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