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1
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:07,600
Josh?
2
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,680
Fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
3
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,600
Beluga caviar?
4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,120
-Fuck!
-All of a sudden,
5
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,480
-I'm housemates with Vladimir Putin.
-(TOM LAUGHS)
6
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,320
Arnold got it for me for Valentine's Day.
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,840
Oh, it expired on Sunday.
8
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,520
-Oh, shit!
-How much is it?
9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,400
Like, $150.
10
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,720
TOM: $150?
11
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,360
How did you forget to eat $150
worth of caviar?
12
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,840
Well, Tom, we were waiting
for the perfect moment,
13
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,120
but then it never came.
14
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,160
-Well that's poetic.
-Maybe it's still good.
15
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,000
That was fucking creepy.
16
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,840
It's how you taste caviar!
17
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:45,800
Is it okay to eat?
18
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,200
I don't know.
I've never had it before.
19
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,720
It tastes sort of off, but like,
in a good way.
20
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,720
-Yeah, I'm into it.
-'Cause it tastes like pussy?
21
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,040
-Mmm.
-If that's what you taste like,
22
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,120
then I just...
You need to change something.
23
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,520
(LAUGHS) Hey, do you know
what I think you'd really love?
24
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,360
Um, like a really pretty guy
with like, cute curly hair
25
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,000
and like, very good BMI.
26
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,360
-Like, does lots of nice compliments.
-Oh, yeah?
27
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,280
And very smart and
he does surprisingly romantic things,
28
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,080
and maybe he's got a bit of money
but he's not arrogant...
29
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,160
-Yeah, Arnold is quite good.
-ELLA: Yeah.
30
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,040
Yeah, but you just can't
make yourself love him.
31
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,160
-Not any more.
-For me, the question here is,
32
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,760
-what's wrong with you?
-Face.
33
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,560
Is that a speck of mould?
34
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,160
-I don't know.
-Just eat around it.
35
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:28,920
I love you.
36
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:33,000
I am feeling optimistic and enthusiastic
about my dating future.
37
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,680
♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
38
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,040
-♪ Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah ♪-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
39
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
40
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,880
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪
41
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,440
♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪
42
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,080
-♪ Ooooh, ooh ♪-♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪
43
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,240
-♪ Ooh ♪-♪ I've left better behind ♪
44
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,240
-♪ I'll be fine ♪-♪ Yeah ♪
45
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,360
-♪ Yeah ♪-♪ Fine ♪
46
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,160
-♪ Make my mamma turn another blind ♪-♪ Eye ♪
47
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,480
BOTH: ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-ay ♪
48
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,160
Oh, don't look at me, don't look at me!
49
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,440
♪ I've left better behindI'll be fine ♪
50
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,520
A bus is here.
I mean, this just must be him.
51
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,840
Why is Tom still like,
talking to the real estate agent?
52
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,880
JOSH: (ON PHONE) Is it a girlwith low self-esteem?
53
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,520
This house is so ugly,
and he's pretending it isn't.
54
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,760
No one got out.
Why did no one get out?
55
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,160
(MOBILE BEEPS)
56
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,280
He just messaged and
said that he's 10 minutes away.
57
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,560
He's said that quite a lot.
58
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,280
-JOSH: Many times!
-(MOBILE BEEPS)
59
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,920
Oh, no, Ella, he just said he's in
school uniform and he hopes that's okay.
60
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,240
-Is that okay?
-Josh, how old is this boy?
61
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,040
I don't know.
It doesn't say on his profile.
62
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,680
I mean, he looks adult.
I promise he looks like an adult.
63
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,320
-Well ask him.
-Yeah.
64
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,600
-(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)
-He's 18.
65
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:46,720
That's quite young.
66
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,360
Who do you think you are, Tom?
67
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,920
-(MOBILE PHONE BEEPING)
-(LAUGHS) Oh, god.
68
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,600
-What?
-Well, he... He wants me to pee on him.
69
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:56,880
Will you pee on him?
70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,600
I don't know, it just seems
like I'm a bit young
71
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,800
to start experimenting that hard
with my sex life.
72
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,200
He's 18!
73
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,680
Kids these days!
74
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,600
-Am I right?
-So many people just love being peed on.
75
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,800
He says he won't come
if I don't pee on him.
76
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,600
He hasn't left yet?What's going on?
77
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,120
Should I just pee on him?
I mean, I've already come this far.
78
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,160
Yeah. I vote yes.
79
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,960
Alright, yeah. I'm saying yes.
80
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,600
-No!
-You said I should!
81
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,560
I'm not sure that I thought it through.
82
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,760
Oh, no, he just said he's in a wheelchair
and he hopes that's okay.
83
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,440
Oh, no.
84
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:30,800
ELLA: Oh, no.
85
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,480
You know what's happening here, don't you?
86
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,600
Yeah, this boy doesn't exist.
87
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,560
You're talking to perhaps
an anonymous group of friends at a party,
88
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,720
and they're laughing at you
for agreeing to pee on a schoolkid.
89
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,840
Yeah.
90
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,840
How are you feeling?
91
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,320
I'm feeling like I've learnt
a lot about myself and the world.
92
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,280
Maybe you guyswant to hang out with me, yeah?
93
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,760
Oh, I wish.
94
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,080
We've got so many more houses to look at.
95
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,320
Mmm.
96
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,200
What's all this then?
97
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,960
I've taken up boxing training.
98
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,520
ROSE: She's just showing off.
99
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,840
You're going to be a Million Dollar Baby.
100
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,840
Million Dollar Baby was thin and fit.
101
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,880
And rich. And dead.
102
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,480
See, some women can have it all.
103
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,800
Sounds fun. Maybe I'll join you.
Maybe I'll do some boxing.
104
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,320
No son of mine is going to be
hitting people for fun, Josh.
105
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,720
I'll only hit bad guys,
like robbers, etcetera.
106
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,960
Why can't you ever take my side?
107
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,000
I mean, I take your side plenty, don't I?
108
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,440
She liked boxing yesterday.
You should have been here then.
109
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,520
You would have been on her side.
Maybe come back tomorrow.
110
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,720
Stop talking about me as though
I'm not even here. Hello!
111
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,480
Am I here?
Can anybody hear me?
112
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,560
Mum, we're just playing, okay?
Calm down.
113
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,400
Just... Hannah, go to your room.
114
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,200
-I've been grounded again.
-(CHUCKLES)
115
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,840
You can go too, Josh.
116
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,920
Okay, see you.
117
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,080
-See you, little munchkin.
-Oh, piss off.
118
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,560
-She's a little munchkin!
-Piss off!
119
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,040
MAN: Okay.
120
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,840
That's me when I have my plastic surgery.
121
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,920
-Looks good. Better.
-(CHUCKLES)
122
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,520
Ah, when are you back
so we can do sex things?
123
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:20,960
Two weeks.
124
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,480
-Ah, but we can't do sex things.
-Why not?
125
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:24,920
Why can't we do sex things?
126
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,920
I have a girlfriend now.
127
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,280
A girlfriend?
128
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,400
Yeah, girlfriend.
129
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,160
And you do sex with her?
130
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,560
Yes.
131
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,560
Well, that's cool, isn't it?
132
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,000
Very modern.
133
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,040
-(BURPS)
-Did you just burp?
134
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,240
Yeah.
135
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,280
I'm sick of sexuality being fluid!
136
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,760
I miss the days when your gays were gay,
your straights were straights,
137
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,600
your bisexuals were lying.
138
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,840
Last time I tried to fly,
it was so embarrassing.
139
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,760
I got so scared when we hit
a bit of turbulence
140
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,680
and accidentally grabbed the hand of
the man next to me.
141
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,240
There isn't anywhere safer
than in a plane.
142
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,000
I mean,
it's such a controlled environment.
143
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,600
Like, there's such a bigger chance
that I'll murder you right now,
144
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,600
than you'll die in a plane crash,
don't you think?
145
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,280
I've never seen anyone more scared
of flying than me.
146
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,960
I'm such a baby about it.
So embarrassing.
147
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,200
Just, what I think,
I think the key is, right,
148
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,480
is to just stop being afraid
of death altogether.
149
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,280
Like, don't you think like it's a little
bit arrogant to be scared of dying?
150
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,680
Like, in the grand scheme of things,
151
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,760
like the billions of people
and the millions of years
152
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:33,200
and the stardust and the mammoths...
And Taylor Swift...
153
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,520
I don't know, it just seems like
154
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,880
you don't really matter that much.
You know?
155
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,880
Wow, I'm cured.
156
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,400
(BOTH LAUGHING)
157
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,640
Yeah, I fixed it.
158
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,360
-He cured me, Bastion.
-Yeah.
159
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,360
-(MOBILE RINGS)
-I'm sorry.
160
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,520
Hey, Ma!
I'm sorry, I can't really talk.
161
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,520
Josh, Hannah has been ignoring me.
162
00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,560
She hasn't spoken to me for days
and I didn't do anything at all.
163
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,800
She's just being so mean to me.
164
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,240
Seriously, Mum, I'm on a date
and I have to go.
165
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,760
-You aren't on a date.
-I am on a date.
166
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,560
No, you're trying to get rid of me.
167
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,760
Is it really so hard for you to believe
that I'm on a date?
168
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,920
You are lying, Joshua.
169
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,520
I know when you're lying.
I'm your mother.
170
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,520
-You're just trying to get rid of me.
-Can you please tell my mother you exist?
171
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,960
-I exist.
-Ah, hello.
172
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,640
-Okay?
-Oh, fine. Oh...
173
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,200
Do you want to punch?
174
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,400
The bag,
175
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,320
not, not me.
176
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,440
Don't punch me.
177
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,320
You have a lot of big books.
178
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,680
You must be pretty smart.
179
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:50,960
I'm a podiatrist.
180
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,680
I don't know why I said that about
the books, okay?
181
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,080
I have books.
I want you to know that.
182
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,240
Like, it's not weird to me.
I'm like... I'm smart.
183
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,640
-Yeah.
-Yeah, okay.
184
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,760
No, we're both smart.
185
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,320
-(CHUCKLES)
-Thank you.
186
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,040
I probably have nicer feet, though.
187
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,760
I mean, I used to have real bad
ingrown toenails, but they're fine now.
188
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,600
Is... Is that a good anecdote for you?
189
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,200
Is that the kind of anecdote
you like to hear?
190
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,320
It was, until you said you're okay now.
191
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,240
There's no money in healthy toenails.
192
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:24,960
You're a good kisser.
193
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,560
Don't really know what that means.
194
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,160
(SIGHS) Just give me a minute.
195
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,960
I like to smoke a bit before sex.
Do you want some?
196
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,720
No, thank you.
197
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,160
Is that meth?
198
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,200
Yeah. Just have a little bit.
199
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,120
Sure, of course.
200
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,600
It's Tuesday night, after all.
201
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,200
He smokes meth. Actual meth.
202
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,360
-Whoa.
-Yeah.
203
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,520
He's a podiatrist, and he had a terrarium,
204
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,560
and it tricked me into thinking
that it's okay to smoke meth.
205
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,960
What'd you do?
206
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,480
Ah, well, I waited
for him to finish smoking his meth,
207
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,760
and then we had sex, which, which...
I would have thought
208
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,720
that I wouldn't have had sex with someone
after they smoked meth, but no,
209
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,360
there I was doing it.
210
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,920
Turns out I am surprisingly easy-going.
211
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,720
Could you get me a glass of water?
212
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,160
Yeah.
213
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,480
You're aboriginal, yeah?
214
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,360
I'm Wurundjeri on my mum's side.
215
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,440
-That's cool.
-Is it cool, is it?
216
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,680
Yeah, it's very cool, very chic.
I'm stuck being white.
217
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:26,840
White people are the worst.
218
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,200
Some of my best friends are white.
219
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,440
Well, all of mine are.
220
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,440
All right, it's not a competition.
221
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,600
I feel very, um, very awkward and weird
about how horrible we've been.
222
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,480
Really, I do. I feel, like,
quite anxious talking about it.
223
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,000
I'm sorry you feel anxious.
I, ah, shouldn't have brought it up.
224
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,480
'Cause we went quite hard, you know,
225
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,320
on the murder and the rape
and the oppression thing, didn't we?
226
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,120
-Yep.
-I mean, not, not me.
227
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,440
-I didn't. I wouldn't.
-Oh.
228
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,560
-I would never, I promise.
-Thank you.
229
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,040
-I appreciate that.
-Yeah.
230
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,560
My great-granddad, though...
Whoa, I mean he probably...
231
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,920
He probably would have.
232
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,200
You know, he would be furious to see me
here on a date with you.
233
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,000
-That's presumptuous to call this a date.
-It's sort of a date.
234
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,120
Is it a date,
235
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,320
or the world's worst application
for young Australian of the year?
236
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,760
I mean, we didn't let aboriginal people
go to school until like thirty years ago.
237
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,200
Yep, I know.
I guarantee you I know all about this.
238
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,520
Fuck! That's recent,
do you know what I mean?
239
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,160
Like that's very... Fuck, that's like
your parents' generation, you know?
240
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,720
And then, you got all these white people,
who are not me,
241
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,520
and they're furious about these programmes
that are just aimed
242
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,320
at helping aboriginal communities
catch up, and it's just very, like...
243
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,520
It's all very...
244
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,920
Just a bit shit, you know?
245
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,600
Like everyone's just still so racist.
246
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,760
Not me, obviously, you know,
because I'm here on a date with you.
247
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,160
-Thank heavens.
-A lucky boy.
248
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,720
(SIGHS)
249
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,440
I mean, you can't hail a taxi, can you?
250
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,440
Like, taxis aren't stopping
for aboriginal people, are they?
251
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,800
Oh, you're probably fine.
252
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,760
I mean, you're so tidy, and if you go out
in an unironed shirt, then I just...
253
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,800
I mean, have you ever successfully hailed
a taxi in an unironed shirt?
254
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,800
Oh, I don't go out in unironed shirts.
255
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,000
Okay.
256
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,840
I mean, taxis, they just stop for me.
You know, I'm sorry, but they do.
257
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,440
They just stop.
There's nothing I can do about it.
258
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,840
Even if I don't iron,
they just stop for me.
259
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,080
If you keep going on about this,
I'm not gonna have sex with you.
260
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,200
(SNORTS) You...
261
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,960
Were you maybe gonna have sex with me?
262
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,640
I've come this far.
263
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,640
Oh, I don't think you should,
to be honest.
264
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,120
I mean, haven't my people
already put you through enough?
265
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,480
He gave me a hickey.
Look at it.
266
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:31,760
-Whoa!
-Yeah.
267
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,200
-Look what he did to me.
-That is so creepy.
268
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,440
That is actually so creepy.
269
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,760
He's trying to mark you.
270
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,960
I mean, I can't go
and see Arnold with a hickey.
271
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,040
-Temporary tattoo.
-I've got one of a scorpion.
272
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,560
How do I convince him
I wanted a tattoo of a scorpion?
273
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,520
-Say a kid did it.
-What?
274
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,760
That is just the stupid...
That is so unbelievable.
275
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,480
Then just wear a scarf.
276
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,960
Yeah, I thought about that,
but then what if we get naked?
277
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,600
Think maybe you're
going to get naked with Arnold?
278
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,480
I really don't want to,
but also I'm a very shit guy,
279
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,040
and if he's standing there looking cute,
and he's forward enough,
280
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,560
then of course I will.
281
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,440
Of course, of course.
282
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,880
Scratch it with a stick so it looks like
you fell out of a tree?
283
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,640
(SIGHS) Oh, um...
284
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,360
I mean, I don't like the idea of the pain,
285
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,240
but I do like him thinking
that I'm happy enough to climb trees.
286
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,760
Google says to use toothpaste.
287
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,560
No, that's not a true thing.
Toothpaste isn't magic.
288
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,680
You could just try it.
289
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,120
Well, then I won't be
able to try the stick.
290
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,240
-Why?
-Because if I have to wait until tomorrow
291
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,520
to see if the toothpaste works,
292
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,840
then the scratch will be too fresh
to have believably bruised.
293
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,880
(SIGHS) I mean,
I don't think I can convince him
294
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,040
that I wanted to climb a tree.
295
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,040
-(GIGGLING)
-Is it there? Just, quiet.
296
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,880
-(STIFLED GIGGLING)
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
297
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,760
-How's that?
-Oh, yeah.
298
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,760
-Good.
-Yeah, it's good.
299
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,720
This has been such a productive day.
300
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,880
Who gave you a hickey?
301
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,480
And why do you have
a scratch on your neck?
302
00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,240
-I've been doing mischief.
-Ooh!
303
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,320
-Are you dating already?
-Is it fun?
304
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,480
I feel optimistic
and enthusiastic about the future.
305
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,200
-Well, what's the Arnold status?
-Alan.
306
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,800
He was meant to come over today
but he didn't show up.
307
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,480
-MAE: Oh, did he say why?
-He said something came up.
308
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,920
Oh, that's vague.
309
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,240
Yeah, that's his whole shtick.
310
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,640
Well, that's a shit shtick.
311
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,800
Jeez, I'm getting sick of this
mysterious business he's doing.
312
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,520
You're not Willy Wonka, Arnold.
313
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,360
-Grow up, and pull your bloody head in.
-(MAE AND JOSH CHUCKLING)
314
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,240
I know you've got mental issues
but Christ, boy,
315
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,200
you can't play with people willy-nilly.
316
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,120
(GIGGLING) Because he's not Willy Wonka?
317
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,960
Yeah, he can't play willy-nilly
'cause he's not Willy Wonka, yes.
318
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,720
(LAUGHING) But he looks like
Willy Wonka, right?
319
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,280
I've seen him in velvet pants.
320
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,960
-(GASPS) He is Willy Wonka!
-Yeah.
321
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,000
Don't try and Oompa-Loompa your way
out of this one, Wonka.
322
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,760
-This is Josh's heart.
-Mm-hmm.
323
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,080
(MOBILE RINGS)
324
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:53,720
Hannah banana!
325
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,120
Your mum just ran away from home, Josh.
326
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,880
-When?
-About 12 seconds ago.
327
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,680
Do you think she's thinking
of killing herself?
328
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,560
No. I mean, she packed bags.
329
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,560
Do you think she's expecting
to get into heaven?
330
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,000
Okay. What happened?
331
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,640
Oh, she was just getting really intense
so I told her to piss off.
332
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,240
But I didn't mean out of the house.
333
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,120
I just wanted her out of my me circle.
334
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,520
Okay, cool.
Okay, I'll call her and find her.
335
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,680
Thanks for calling and letting me know.
Seriously, okay? Thanks.
336
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:20,800
No worries. Bye.
337
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,320
Okay, bye.
Ah, can you please pull over?
338
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,040
Sure. Everything okay?
339
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,080
I think it will be. Do you?
340
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,640
DRIVER: Oh, I think so.
341
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,800
Hi, Ma.
342
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,920
Thank you.
343
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,240
-You're running away from home?
-Yes.
344
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,800
-Where to?
-I haven't decided yet.
345
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,040
Okay. Hannah said you had a fight.
346
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,880
I don't know
why she's being so mean to me.
347
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,480
Did you ask her?
348
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,120
No, she doesn't listen!
349
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,720
She never speaks!
350
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,920
She could basically be a Buddhist monk
351
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,440
if she didn't drink
so much chocolate milk.
352
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,000
All right, well, then,
what's the plan now?
353
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:14,080
I guess that I go home
and I confront Hannah.
354
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,800
No, please, don't. Just not today.
355
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,640
Just let things calm down
a bit maybe, yeah?
356
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,240
Okay, I won't talk to her, then.
357
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,000
No, no, you should obviously talk to her,
just maybe not today.
358
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,440
Fine, fine.
359
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,680
Do you want to go and do something fun?
360
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,800
No. No, oh, I've worn myself out.
361
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,800
-I feel quite silly.
-JOSH: Yep.
362
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,120
Yeah, you've been a little silly.
363
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,800
Just...
364
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,400
Just... Yeah.
365
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,600
(MOANING)
366
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,640
Boo! (GROANS)
367
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,720
-No, what?
-The condom broke.
368
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,320
Oh, fuck.
369
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,800
I hope you're not expecting child support.
370
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,400
You look scared.
371
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,320
Yeah. Yeah I mean,
it's just a little scary, isn't it?
372
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:26,960
It's okay, I just got tested.
373
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,640
Let's have a shower.
374
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,520
Do I have anything to worry about?
375
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,960
Mm-mmm.
No, I'm very responsible.
376
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,640
I'm like the Hermione of using condoms.
377
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,960
Isn't Hermione's
only downfall her hygiene?
378
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,200
-(LAUGHS)
-She's a hot mess.
379
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,680
Okay, um, when was
the last time you got tested?
380
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,920
Well, I don't really get tested
because I'm always so safe.
381
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,760
Right.
382
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,240
I, I lied because I wanted you to
stop looking scared...
383
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,360
Yeah.
384
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,560
But I told the truth this time,
so I think it's okay.
385
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,360
Yup.
386
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,120
Should we get pep?
Do we have to get pep?
387
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,880
-What is pep?
-Seriously, you don't know what pep is?
388
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,360
I feel judged.
389
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,880
Pep is, it's like
the morning after pill, but for HIV.
390
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,680
Okay, cool. Let's get pep.
391
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,200
(CHUCKLING) It's not...
392
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,040
It's not that easy, though, is it?
393
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,000
It can make you
sort of quite ill sometimes.
394
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,840
-Shit.
-It's fine.
395
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,240
I had chronic fatigue for two years.
396
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,800
-I can handle it.
-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
397
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,640
I think we should go and get tested
for HIV together instead.
398
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,520
I know it's not perfect,
but I think it's fine.
399
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,880
I think it's an acceptable risk.
400
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,680
-Okay.
-Okay.
401
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,360
How many sexual partners have you had
in the last six months?
402
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,960
-Um...
-Roughly.
403
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,880
12?
404
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,280
Is that a lot?
405
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,760
How many of those partners did you do
receptive anal sex with?
406
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,520
Only like two.
407
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,520
Yeah, I know I seem really bottomy,
but I actually... I really don't like it.
408
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,960
How many have you had
penetrative anal sex with?
409
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,400
-10.
-And how many were just oral?
410
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,880
Oh, we're including just oral?
411
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,200
I didn't know we were including just oral,
I'm sorry.
412
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,120
Um, then it's like 16, I think.
413
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,120
Is that a lot? I mean, 16,
that seems like a lot, doesn't it?
414
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,800
I'm just trying to get myself out there,
just trying to meet people,
415
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,440
and exist in the world.
416
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,760
-Know what I mean? Just trying to live.
-Mm-hmm.
417
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,400
Don't care.
418
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,240
DOCTOR:
That should take about 20 minutes.
419
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,680
Hey, do you want to
hear something interesting?
420
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,760
Gosh, you've hyped it up, haven't you?
421
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,520
Last time I was at the hospital,
my gran died.
422
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,880
(LAUGHS) Okay. Sorry.
423
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,040
Awkward for you.
424
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,080
It's fine.
425
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,080
So it was all very sad,
and we left the room.
426
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,640
Then, as I was heading down the hall
427
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,840
I see from her doorway
that we've left her light on,
428
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,320
and she hates wasting electricity,
so I went to turn it off.
429
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,040
But when I get there, the light isn't on.
430
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,160
It's her body.
431
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,280
Her body was actually emanating a glow.
432
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:13,400
She was such a kind woman
that her spirit was glowing with light.
433
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,440
No.
434
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,600
-What do you mean, no?
-No.
435
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,800
No, you're doing tricking.
436
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:23,760
What are you talking about,
437
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,160
I'm telling you a story about
my dead grandma.
438
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,680
No, no, no, no, no, you're doing...
439
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,200
I know it's a gamble here,
but you're doing... Like, you're...
440
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,480
You're like trying to embarrass me, right?
441
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,880
-What the fuck is wrong with you?
-No!
442
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,320
No, you're tricking, aren't you?
443
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,440
No.
444
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,440
ROSE:
Hannah, could you come in here?
445
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,360
We have to talk.
446
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,400
You need to start paying rent.
447
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,360
Now, obviously,
you don't think of me as a friend.
448
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,480
You're just using me,
so, either you contribute properly
449
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,440
or you be a proper friend,
the choice is yours.
450
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,200
Now, I don't want to be dramatic about it,
451
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,320
but I just feel I've got to
start standing up for myself.
452
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,600
Enough is enough, okay?
I won't be walked over.
453
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,880
What have you got to say about that?
454
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,040
Oh, my first fight
went better than expected.
455
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,800
-Oh, did you win?
-No, I did not.
456
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,120
No, course you didn't.
457
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,000
-Yeah, of course not.
-What?
458
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,000
Rose, I think I should just move out.
459
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,320
Why would you do that?
460
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,320
I just don't think
we're very good for each other.
461
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,880
-I didn't really want you to pay rent.
-I know.
462
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,680
Where would you go?
463
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:47,880
I'll think of something.
464
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,640
Okay. Fine. It's good.
465
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,400
It... Look, if you want to go
just go then.
466
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,480
I'm sure you'll easily find
someone much better than me.
467
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,040
-How was it?
-Yeah, well,
468
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,800
so I've got good news and bad news.
469
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,560
Ah, the good news is
neither of us have HIV.
470
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,480
-I want a second opinion.
-Aha!
471
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,960
The bad news is that he thinks
his grandma glows in the dark.
472
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,600
-Ooh.
-Ooh, that's a shame.
473
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:19,760
JOSH: So that's that done.
474
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,680
But do you remember
the boy who's aboriginal,
475
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,440
which doesn't define him, I just need
a very quick way of letting you know
476
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:25,640
which boy I'm talking about?
477
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,640
We've been chatting,
I invited him out again,
478
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,360
it's going very well, I think,
479
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,560
and I feel very optimistic
and enthusiastic about the future.
480
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,760
-Good.
-Great.
481
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,240
-(MOBILE BEEPS)
-That's him.
482
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,040
He just wants to be friends, so...
483
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,280
-Oh, no!
-Oh, no!
484
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,760
No, why did I do that, Tom?
485
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,640
No, I need my phone
to be capable of feeling joy.
486
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,000
I'll get some rice!
I'll get some rice!
487
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,720
(LAUGHING)
488
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,680
Hi, I'm Josh, I'm not here.
489
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,080
I'm sorry, leave a message. Goodbye.
490
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,640
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
491
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,760
I don't want to do this via voicemail.
492
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:06,160
It just seems so harsh
saying this like this but, okay.
493
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,560
Josh, I've started seeing someone else.
494
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,800
It's new, but I like him.
495
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,600
I just... I thought you deserved to know.
496
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,640
Guys, I'm sick of this game.
497
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,840
I know it was my idea
but sometimes I have bad ideas.
498
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,240
I don't like seeking.
499
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,640
I'm lonely.
500
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,240
Guys?
501
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,560
-(COO COO CLOCK COOING)
-Guys!
502
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,160
-(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
-(DOG BARKING)
503
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,600
Oh, my god, there's someone at the door!
504
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,720
I don't want to answer it.
505
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,960
-(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
-(DOG BARKING)
506
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:51,720
Hi, Rose.
507
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,960
Oh, where's Josh?
Why isn't he answering his phone?
508
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,440
I don't know where he is.
I don't know where anyone is.
509
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,680
Oh, Josh!
510
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,040
Josh, you'd better come out now.
511
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,480
Your mum's here, and she is very upset
that you've been ignoring her calls.
512
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,000
I already looked in there.
513
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,720
Where is he? What's he doing?
514
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,120
Well, we're playing hide and seek,
but they take it too seriously.
515
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,160
Now, I don't even know
if it's fun anymore.
516
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,520
Oh, it's ridiculous.
517
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:22,520
I tried to talk to Hannah like you said,
and she left, Joshua!
518
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,120
Yeah, Joshua!
519
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,960
I'm going to give you
a count one to five, and then...
520
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,320
-One...
-This is exciting.
521
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,240
-What happens if you get to five?
-Two!
522
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:38,000
I tell everybody how much he loved
holding my hand when he was a teenager.
523
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,520
Three!
524
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,760
Four!
525
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,760
Five!
526
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,600
My phone broke.
527
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,000
That is such a good hiding spot.
528
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,720
I didn't want her to leave, Josh.
529
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,360
I wanted her to change.
530
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,120
Now, what the hell
am I supposed to do now?
531
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,000
-Oh, I don't know.
-Why did you tell me to talk to her?
532
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,320
Well, it's just what
people say to do, isn't it?
533
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,520
Hey, get out of there!
534
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:11,720
Okay.
535
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,720
-What?
-Well, I'm stuck, aren't I?
536
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,760
-You are not!
-I am. I'm very, very stuck!
537
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,240
No, you're just saying that
so you can divert attention from me.
538
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,400
-Now, get out!
-JOSH: Mum, sometimes I wonder
539
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,000
if I'll ever do anything
that'll make you proud of me!
540
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,240
TOM: I win!
541
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,080
ROSE: Tom!
41863
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