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1
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,400
( match lights )
2
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:25,200
Max: THERE'S A WAR GOING ON
EVERY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD.
3
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,300
( dance music playing )
4
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,600
BOYS TRYING TO GET LAID.
5
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,600
AND GIRLS TRYING
TO GET PAID.
6
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,000
( cash register dings )
7
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,000
NOW MOST
BACHELOR PARTIES SUCK.
8
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,000
IT'S JUST A BUNCH
OF DRUNKEN DUDES
9
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,300
HUDDLED AROUND
A SKANKY STRIPPER.
10
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,000
BUT THIS ONE
WAS THE SHIT...
11
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,600
AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY--
JOHNNY EYELASH.
12
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:31,600
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
SARAH?
13
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,300
MY SHOE BROKE.
14
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,600
SARAH,
HOLD ON, LOOK.
15
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,800
THERE YOU GO.
16
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,500
( gasps )
YOU'RE THE BEST!
17
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,100
( laughing )
18
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,800
( men chattering )
19
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,100
Max: THIS IS A STORY
OF LOVE AND ROMANCE...
20
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,100
( men yelling )
21
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,200
AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC
THAN WHORES ON ALL FOURS
22
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,400
WITH STICKS POKING OUT
OF THEIR ASSES?
23
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,500
( cheering )
24
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,800
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT...
25
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,400
NOTHING!
26
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,700
BUT IT WASN'T
ALWAYS LIKE THIS.
27
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,800
OH, NO.
28
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,300
COME ON,
LET'S FUCK.
29
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:30,500
UH, NO, I CAN'T.
I GOTTA GET UP FOR WORK.
30
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,100
BUT YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE ME HOME, RIGHT?
31
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:35,800
UH, YEAH, YEAH.
I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME.
32
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,100
YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL
YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS,
ARE YOU?
33
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:41,200
NO...AND YOU BETTER NOT
TELL NOBODY, EITHER.
34
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:45,200
IT LOOK LIKE YOU
WERE ABOUT TO TELL
EVERY GODDAMN BODY.
35
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,800
Max: THERE'S A CERTAIN TYPE
OF WOMAN IN L.A.
36
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,300
FROM HERE ON OUT,
WE'LL CALL THEM "THE ENEMY."
37
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,300
ACTUALLY, FAHID,
THE LAW IS ON PAGE'S SIDE.
38
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,500
THE INJURY
WAS SUSTAINED AT WORK,
THUS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
39
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,900
SHE WAS DRUNK!
SO WHAT?
40
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,300
THERE ARE
VERY SPECIFIC RULES.
41
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,800
YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO GET ANY GIRLS
TO WORK HERE FOR MONTHS.
42
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,900
YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT.
43
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,800
I SAW YOU
ALL OVER HIM!
44
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,800
IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD,
THEN THIS IS THE FRONT LINE.
45
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,800
I WANT MY HAIR!
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
46
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,600
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
FIGHTING ABOUT?
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?
47
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,600
SHE WENT HOME WITH
MY TUESDAY/THURSDAY,
AND I REALLY LIKED HIM.
48
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,300
SHE WAS STILL
FUCKING WORKING.
YOU'RE FIGHTING
OVER A CUSTOMER?
49
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,800
YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REALLY
ISN'T ANY OF YOUR FUCKING
BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT?
50
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,200
I KNOW,
BUT CAN YOU TALK,
PLEASE.
51
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,200
WHATEVER!
UHH!
52
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,500
GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR!
53
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,600
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
54
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,700
I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY EMAIL
IN WEEKS.
55
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,300
WHAT?
56
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,700
YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ACCOUNT?
57
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,600
OF COURSE I DO.
58
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,800
WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?
59
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,800
NOTHING. JUST...
60
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,400
YOU GIRLS ARE FIGHTING
OVER A GUY WHO MOST LIKELY
COULDN'T CARE LESS
61
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,900
ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU
EXCEPT FOR TO STICK IT IN.
SHE STARTED IT.
62
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,400
WHAT IS HIS NAME?
SHAWN.
63
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,800
LAST NAME?
UM, I DON'T KNOW,
64
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,600
BUT I KNOW HE WORKS
AT THE BEAUTY BAR.
65
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,300
OH, LOOK.
HERE WE GO.
66
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,500
SHAWN, 6'1",
SOUR MILK BREATH.
67
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,700
YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
THREE STARS IN BED?
68
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,500
LIKE THE RESTAURANT
SYSTEM?
69
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,800
NO, SWEETIE, OUT OF TEN.
YEAH.
70
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,200
OH, LOOK...HPV.
71
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,300
YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
72
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,700
WHAT?
( mouths )
73
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,900
THAT MOTHERFUCKER.
OOH, LET ME SEE.
74
00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,900
OH, MY GOD.
HOW DO YOU KNOW
ALL THIS STUFF?
75
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,600
WE WERE JUST SO OVER
THE LYING, THE GAMES,
THE CHEATING,
76
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,400
SO WE STARTED A GROUP
WITH OUR FRIENDS
TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER.
77
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,600
WOW.
THIS THING IS AMAZING.
78
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,800
( crying )
IT WAS...
79
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,800
IT WAS SIX YEARS,
AND...
80
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,800
AND IT ENDED
SO SUDDENLY.
81
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,700
YEAH, I KNOW,
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
82
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:44,000
AND I THOUGHT
THAT THIS WOULD HELP,
BUT IT DOESN'T.
83
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,700
NO, I GET IT. I GET IT.
84
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,400
I WAS WALKING HOME
FROM THE BAR,
85
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,900
AND I SEE THIS CHICK
SITTING AT THE BUS STOP.
86
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,700
SHE WASN'T THE HOTTEST,
BUT SHE WAS OK
FOR THAT TIME OF NIGHT.
87
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,300
ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING,
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
SHE'S COMING HOME WITH ME.
88
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:57,300
I JUST GOT TO
GET MY STUFF.
89
00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:01,700
THEN I SEE
SHE'S GOT THIS BIG PLASTIC BAG
WITH ALL HER STUFF IN IT.
90
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,500
SHE'S A VAGABOND.
SHE'S PUTTING
THE "HO" IN HOMELESS!
91
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,700
BUT I WAKE UP,
AND SHE'S CHECKING
HER EMAIL.
92
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,500
I MEAN,
THAT MAKES SENSE.
93
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,300
I MEAN, WHERE ELSE
SHE GONNA CHECK
HER EMAIL?
94
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,700
SHE AIN'T GOT NO WIRELESS
INTERNET IN THE BUSHES.
95
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:15,600
WAIT.
I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.
96
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,700
OKAY.
97
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,300
( grunts )
98
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,700
( panting )
99
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,800
THAT IS OUR DATERBASE,
100
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,700
AND ANY TIME ONE OF US
MEETS A GUY,
101
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,500
WE PUT ALL HIS INFORMATION
IN THERE.
102
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:26,800
OKAY, BUT WHAT FOR?
103
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,900
WE USED TO BE
JUST LIKE YOU TWO--
104
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,700
YOUNG AND INNOCENT.
105
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,800
RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PREY
FOR GUYS LIKE HIM.
106
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,000
HE DOESN'T CARE
'CAUSE THERE'S
SO MANY GIRLS IN HOLLYWOOD,
107
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,400
THERE'S NO ACCOUNTABILITY.
108
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,700
BUT ORGANIZED
AND TOGETHER,
109
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,700
IDIOTS LIKE HIM,
THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
110
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,400
SO IT'S LIKE A TRADE UNION
FOR HOT CHICKS?
111
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,800
WE GOT A SMART ONE HERE,
WENDY.
112
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,400
EXACTLY.
GIVE IT A TRY.
113
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,300
GO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW
AND DO A DOUBLE ACT.
114
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,000
SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
115
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000
GO AHEAD, GO.
116
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,800
WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRO?
WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT CHICK?
DUDE, SHE WAS FINE.
117
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,600
OHH. YEAH, MAN,
I WAS OUTSIDE WITH HER
AND HER FRIEND, RIGHT?
118
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,000
OH, NO, THE BUSTED ONE?
119
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,900
YEAH, YEAH,
THE BUSTED ONE.
120
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:05,300
AND, UM, YOU KNOW,
SHE WAS GETTING A TEXT
FROM SOME DUDE,
121
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,800
AND THEN SHE JUST
BROKE OUT,
122
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,900
AND I WAS THERE
WITH THE FRIEND,
123
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,600
AND SHE SAID SHE LIVED
AROUND THE CORNER,
AND I WAS...
124
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,900
REALLY?
125
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,800
YEAH, MAN, I WAS
TORE UP DRUNK, MAN.
126
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,600
I SAID FUCK IT.
127
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,600
YEAH, MAN, I MEAN,
SHE DID HAVE NICE TITS,
THOUGH.
128
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,400
BRO, WE HAVE GOT
TO DO BETTER.
129
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,900
( belches )
130
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,700
HEY, BRO, WHEN YOU
TAKE THINGIE HOME,
131
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,800
CAN YOU TAKE
THIS ONE HOME, TOO?
MAYBE HIT A DRIVE-THRU.
132
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,400
OH, YEAH, MAN, I GOT YOU,
BUT WE LEAVING NOW.
133
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,600
OH, HEY,
NICE TO MEET YOU.
134
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,300
HOPE EVERYTHING
WORKS OUT OKAY.
135
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,500
HEY.
HI.
136
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,600
YEAH, MAN, I GOTTA
TAKE THESE HOS HOME,
MAN.
137
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,900
AW, SHIT!
THAT'S MY NEIGHBOR,
JOHNNY EYELASH,
138
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,100
COMING HOME
WITH TWO BOMB CHICKS
RIGHT NOW.
139
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:46,000
HE GOT MORE GAME
THAN A PHEASANT HUNT.
LET'S GO.
140
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,900
HE GONNA CLOWN ME
WHEN HE SEES ME
WITH THESE GIRLS.
141
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,900
COOL OUT. SQUEEZE THAT.
WE GONNA GO IN A SECOND.
142
00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,700
YOU'VE SEEN THE ASS,
NOW FLASH THE CASH.
143
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,500
FOUR TITTIES
AND THE PRICE OF ONE.
144
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,000
DIG DEEP, GENTLEMEN,
DIG REAL DEEP.
145
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,700
?
146
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,800
? CAN YOU DO IT?
147
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,400
? DO IT
148
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,700
? CAN YOU DO IT?
149
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,900
? DO IT
150
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,800
? CAN YOU DO IT?
151
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,400
? I, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN
152
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,900
YOU WERE LATE FOR WORK
A MINUTE AGO.
YEAH.
153
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,600
WHAT'S ALL THIS
CLOWNING BUSINESS?
154
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,000
HEY, MAN,
I'M GONNA CALL YOU
BACK, MAN.
155
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,600
IS THIS YOUR HOUSE
OR YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE?
156
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,400
WE CAN ALL LEAVE NOW,
157
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,900
OR I CAN PULL
THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM
ON MY WAY OUT.
158
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,700
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
WOULD YOU ALL
CHILL OUT?
159
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,900
RELAX, MAN.
YOU ALL AIN'T GOT
NOWHERE TO BE?
160
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,500
( screaming )
161
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,800
OH, MY GOD!
WE GOT TWENTIES!
162
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,900
I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB.
I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB.
163
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,400
ME TOO!
WHAT'S IT CALLED?
164
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,600
THE NAME IS T.O.B.
T.O.B.?
165
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,100
JUST COME ON SATURDAY,
AND YOU'LL SEE.
166
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,800
OKAY.
167
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,900
WHERE'S YOUR CRAP CAR?
MY HEAD HURTS.
168
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,200
I'M REALLY HUNGRY.
169
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,600
DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN?
170
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,600
MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE ASS.
171
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,900
I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY.
172
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,700
JUST GIVE YOUR APPLE,
TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY,
YOU'LL BE FINE.
173
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,700
WHOA, THOSE CHICKS
ARE BUSTED.
174
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:20,200
GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING
TO THE PHRASE
"WALK OF SHAME," HUH?
175
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,500
HEY, LADIES.
YEAH.
176
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,100
MAX.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
177
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,800
GOT YOUR HANDS FULL,
HUH, LOVERBOY?
178
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,000
YEAH.
HEY, LATER, MAN.
179
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,700
HERE, UH,
THIS GET YOU, UM,
WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING.
180
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,600
FIVE BUCKS? REALLY?
181
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,600
YEAH. UH, OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THIS? HERE.
182
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,100
VIENNA SAUSAGES?
REALLY?
183
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,700
UM, YEAH.
THEY'RE NON-PERISHABLE.
184
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,600
NO, NO,
I JUST MEAN--
185
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,700
FUCK YOU!
186
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,500
ALL RIGHT.
UH, EMAIL ME.
187
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,600
( door slams )
188
00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,700
( horn honks )
189
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,500
WHOO!
190
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,000
( indistinct singing )
191
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,300
FUCK YOU GUYS!
192
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,800
ASSHOLES!
193
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,600
WHAT THE FUCK'S UP
WITH YOU HAIR TODAY?
194
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,600
WHY YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT
MY SHIT, MAN? JUST TELL ME
WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER.
195
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,300
OH, ANYWAY, SO,
THESE TWO CHICKS
COME IN, RIGHT?
196
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,300
FUCKIN' SMOKIN'.
BIG FAKE TITS, YOU KNOW.
197
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:08,000
AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
I'M BUSY, BUT...
HOW CAN I RESIST?
198
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,200
BUT AS SOON AS THEY LEFT,
I GET THIS FEELING
I'VE BEEN CHUMPED.
199
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,300
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO
PUT ONE OVER ON ME.
200
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,600
LIKE THEY'RE NOT
REALLY INTO ME,
LIKE THEY'RE PRETENDING.
201
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,900
YEAH.
202
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:20,600
SO, LATER,
I'M PRINTING UP
THE T-SHIRTS,
203
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,800
IT ALL STARTS
TO MAKE SENSE.
204
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,300
"WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS
TO BE SELF-EVIDENT
205
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,100
THAT ALL MEN
ARE CREATED ASSHOLES"?
206
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,800
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE THEY
CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH US.
207
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,200
NOW THEY HAVE WHAT?
MAN-HATING CLUBS?
208
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,700
OH, MY GOD!
209
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,300
OH, GEE!
210
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,300
JESUS,
WATCH WHERE THE FUCK
YOU'RE GOING!
211
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,200
MAN,
I'M SO SORRY, BROTHER.
ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?
212
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,900
NO, I'M NOT OKAY.
213
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,900
( sniffs )
SMELLS DANK IN THERE, MAN.
214
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,600
I GOT YOU.
215
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,700
WE COOL?
WHAT IS THIS,
A FUCKING BAG OF WEED?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
216
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,600
HOW ABOUT YOU CALL
AN AMBULANCE?
NO NEED TO CONCERN
THE AUTHORITIES.
217
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,300
THAT'S NEARLY
HALF AN OUNCE.
218
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,000
COME ON, MAN,
WHAT CAN I DO?
LET'S MAKE THIS RIGHT.
219
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,900
HOW ABOUT YOU LET HER
COME RUB IT BETTER?
220
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,100
DO ME A FAVOR...
221
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,900
DUDE, HE IS ALWAYS
WITH THE BOMB CHICKS.
222
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,100
MAYBE WE CAN GET HIM
TO INTRODUCE US TO SOME.
223
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,600
SHIT, OR MAYBE SHOW US
EVEN HOW HE GET
SOME OF THOSE CHICKS.
224
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,900
YEAH, I'M DOWN.
225
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,900
AAH.
226
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,200
WHERE DOES IT HURT?
227
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,700
IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE.
YEAH.
228
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:11,100
UH, HEY, MAN, I KNOW
HOW YOU CAN HELP US OUT.
229
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,900
ALL RIGHT, NAME IT.
230
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,000
WHY DON'T YOU TEACH US
HOW TO GET WITH CHICKS
LIKE THAT?
231
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,800
SERIOUSLY?
YEAH.
232
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,700
ALL RIGHT.
233
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,700
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
COME BY LATER,
AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
234
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,300
Max: AND JUST LIKE THAT,
235
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,800
JOHNNY EYELASH AGREED
TO BE OUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR.
236
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,700
COME ON, BABY.
WHICH IS GOOD...
237
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,100
MAN, YOUR ASS AIN'T
EVEN HURT, MAN.
238
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,400
...BECAUSE ACROSS TOWN...
239
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,000
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FEMALES
240
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,300
OF THE T.O.B.
OF AMERICA
241
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:38,900
AND TO THE METHODS
BY WHICH IT STANDS,
242
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,000
WITH MANIPULATION,
WITH HOT BODS,
243
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,700
IRRESISTIBLE,
244
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,400
WITH LUXURY
FOR JUST US,
245
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,100
THAT'S ALL!
246
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,200
( cheering )
247
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,300
OKAY, FIRST,
WELCOME, EVERYONE,
248
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,900
AND A SPECIAL HELLO
TO OUR NEW PROSPECTS,
249
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:01,200
YVONNE AND COURTNEY.
Women: HI.
250
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,100
WE REALLY HOPE
THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE
WHAT WE'RE ABOUT.
251
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:08,400
AND A BIG KISS TO LYRIC,
WHO, AS OF LAST WEEK,
252
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,000
IS A FULL TASSEL SISTER.
253
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,400
( cheering )
254
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,100
YEAH!
255
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,200
SO, WHAT? YOU GUYS
CAN'T GET GIRLFRIENDS?
256
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,000
WE DON'T WANT GIRLFRIENDS.
WE WANT TO BANG HOT CHICKS
LIKE YOU.
257
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,300
ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENIN'.
258
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,300
AND PLUS, MAN,
WE MADE A PACT
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
259
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,800
YEAH, WHEN WE WERE 15.
260
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,100
OH, OHH, MY GOD. HO.
261
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,200
MAN, WHEN WE GET OLDER,
WE GONNA BANG CHICKS
LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.
262
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,300
DEFINITELY. OH.
263
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,400
I MEAN, WE DO OKAY
WITH THE AVERAGE CHICKS,
264
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,900
BUT THOSE, LIKE, SUPER-DUPER
BOMB HOLLYWOOD CHICKS, MAN...
265
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,300
MAN, THEY DON'T EVEN FUCK
WITH US.
266
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,300
YEAH,
THEY IGNORE US, MAN.
267
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,800
OR MAKE JOKES.
268
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,100
AND IT'S NOT GETTING
ANY EASIER, MAN.
269
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,400
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
270
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,700
T.O.B. CLUB.
271
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,000
I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS.
272
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,700
SEE, WOMEN ARE NATURALLY
MORE DEVIOUS,
273
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,800
BUT IT'S THAT BITCHINESS
THAT USUALLY DIVIDES THEM
274
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,000
AND GIVES US GUY AN ANGLE.
275
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,400
DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE
SEEN THE TITS
276
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,300
ON THE GIRLS
THAT LEFT THAT WITH ME.
277
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,200
NOW THEY'RE GETTING ORGANIZED.
278
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,000
THIS DOESN'T BODE WELL.
279
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,200
REGULAR GUYS LIKE YOU
DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
280
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,800
THAT'S WHY WE
NEED YOUR HELP.
281
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,200
DUDE, COME ON,
JUST PASS ON YOUR WISDOM.
282
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,400
YOU GOTTA HELP US OUT,
MAN.
283
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,700
WHAT THE FUCK
DOES "BODE" MEAN?
284
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,200
LOOK AT THESE FREAKS,
COME ON.
285
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,400
ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
RELAX, JESUS.
286
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,300
ALL RIGHT,
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
287
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:29,400
ABOUT THESE HOT CHICKS
YOU'RE SO SCARED OF.
288
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,200
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
289
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,500
YOUR AVERAGE HOLLYWOOD BABE.
290
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,800
NICE, RIGHT?
291
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,200
YOU TAKE AWAY THE HAIR...
292
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,400
THE IMPLANTS...
293
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,200
THE LIPO...
294
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,000
THE STRAPPY SHOES,
CUTE LITTLE DRESS,
295
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:58,200
OH, AND THE MAKEUP...
296
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,500
AND THIS IS
WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH.
297
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,200
NOT PARTICULARLY
ATTRACTIVE.
298
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,300
NOT THAT SMART,
NOT THAT INTERESTING--
299
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,400
BASICALLY SOMEONE
IN YOUR OWN LEAGUE.
300
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,000
THAT'S THE WAY YOU GOTTA
THINK ABOUT 'EM, GUYS.
301
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,400
I SWEAR TO GOD,
BEFORE LONG,
302
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,200
YOU'LL BE A GODDAMN
HUMAN SHISH KABOB.
303
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,000
DUDE, THAT'S HARSH.
304
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,100
I SWEAR,
IT'S AS IF YOU HATE THEM.
305
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,400
MAN, I DON'T HATE 'EM...
306
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,200
ANY MORE THAN A LION
HATES A GAZELLE.
307
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,200
BUT I HAD MY HEART
BROKEN ONCE...
308
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,300
COME ON, WEN,
PLEASE!
309
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,300
IT'S OVER.
310
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,000
SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES.
311
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,400
WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK.
312
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,800
ALL I NEED IS A CHANCE.
DON'T DO THIS.
313
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,500
BUT I PULLED MYSELF
TOGETHER.
314
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,000
AND NOW,
I JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
315
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,900
COME ON,
DON'T GO, MAN.
316
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,400
I LOVE YOU, WENDY.
317
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,400
OKAY, COOL.
WHY DO YOU HAVE
A LITTLE GIRL'S DOLL?
318
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,900
WHO THE FUCK CARES?
319
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,200
WILL YOU PLEASE HELP US?
320
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,400
HEY, LOOK,
I'LL HELP YOU GUYS,
321
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,900
BUT YOU GOTTA DO
WHAT I SAY
322
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,500
EXACTLY WHEN I
TELL YOU TO DO IT,
323
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,900
NO QUESTIONS ASKED,
OR I'M OUT.
324
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,200
ALL RIGHT, COME BACK NEXT WEEK
AND BRING YOUR LAPTOPS.
325
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,200
OH, WAIT,
I DON'T GOT A LAPTOP, MAN.
326
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,200
I STILL GOT THAT DIALUP SHIT,
THAT... ( imitates dialup )
327
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,100
JESUS, CHRIST,
YOU GOT A LAPTOP?
YES.
328
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,000
YOU GOT A LAPTOP?
YEAH,
IT'S REALLY NICE.
329
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
330
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,300
SO I CAN SHARE OF YOURS, HUH?
331
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,600
NO, SHARE OFF HIS, DUDE,
I GOT A DELL.
332
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,100
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
333
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,500
SO, TO BUSINESS...
334
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500
GRETCHEN,
HOW'S YOUR REFINANCE GOING?
335
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,400
OKAY, WELL, THE GUY
CAME OVER THE OTHER DAY
336
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,500
AND TOOK ME TO LUNCH,
BUT WE GOT A LITTLE
TOO DRUNK.
337
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,600
WE DIDN'T FINISH
THE PAPERWORK.
338
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,200
Women: GRETCHEN!
339
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,900
I KNOW, BUT DON'T WORRY.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
340
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,300
OKAY, LADIES,
NOT THIS DATERBASE
ONLY WORKS
341
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,900
IF WE KEEP IT UPDATED.
342
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,600
SO DID ANYBODY HAVE
A DATE THIS WEEK?
343
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,900
I MET A GUY.
344
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,100
WHAT WAS HIS NAME?
ADEN.
345
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,900
ISN'T THAT YOUR OTHER
BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND?
346
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,400
YEAH,
HE HIT ON ME YESTERDAY
347
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,600
JUST 'CAUSE I WAS
SUNBATHING TOPLESS
BY HIS POOL.
348
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,400
UHH, SUCH A PIG.
I KNOW.
349
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,200
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE WILL USE THAT
AGAINST HIM.
350
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,500
ANYONE ELSE?
YES, CHANEL?
351
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,300
THERE IS A BIG,
HUGE HAIR SPIDER.
352
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:52,300
IT CRAWLED INTO MY CLOSET,
AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO FIND IT.
353
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,900
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GO
INTO MY CLOSET FOR,
LIKE, A WEEK.
354
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,600
I'VE BEEN BUYING ALL
OF MY CLOTHES BRAND-NEW
BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF IT.
355
00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,900
THAT'S EASY,
I'LL SEND ONCH.
356
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,300
ONCH!
357
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,100
YES, WENDY?
358
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,600
GO!
NOW?
359
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,200
NO. TOMORROW. GO.
360
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,300
HOW ABOUT OUR NEW GIRLS?
ANYTHING YOU GIRLS NEED?
361
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,400
LIKE WHAT?
362
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,000
ANYTHING?
363
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,100
UM, OKAY, WELL,
MY SHOWER KEEPS DRIPPING,
364
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,600
AND IT'S KIND OF GROWING
MOLD IN THERE.
365
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,500
I MEAN, I CLEAN IT, BUT--
366
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,700
I'LL SEND ONCH OVER.
367
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,100
HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA COST?
368
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,000
SWEETIE, WE JUST SAY
"OUR HOT GIRLFRIEND"
369
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
AND "SHOWER"
IN THE SAME SENTENCE.
370
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,100
COOL, THANK YOU.
371
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,100
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, YVONNE?
372
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,400
I'M COOL.
373
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,400
REALLY?
374
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,000
I THINK SO.
375
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,500
I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS
A BIT COLD-HEARTED.
376
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,300
YOU LIKE TO FUCK
AND PARTY, DON'T YOU?
377
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,600
YEAH! A LOT.
378
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,600
( laughter )
379
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,100
THOSE ARE MARKETABLE SKILLS.
380
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,100
AND COMPLETELY TAX-FREE,
SWEETIE.
381
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:50,100
I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT
ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.
382
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,200
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
383
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,300
THANKS, JOHNNY.
BYE, SARAH.
384
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,500
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK,
ALL RIGHT.
385
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,200
DUDE,
YOU ARE LIKE THE KING.
386
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,200
IT'S JUST WORK.
387
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,300
WORK? WHAT DO YOU DO?
388
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,600
I'M IN PHARMACEUTICAL SALES.
389
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,700
YOU A DRUG DEALER?
NO, I'M A SALES REP,
390
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,100
FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS,
KELOCOTE.
391
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,400
IT'S AN OINTMENT
THAT WOMEN USE
AFTER THEY GET BOOB JOBS.
392
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,100
IT HEALS THE SCAR TISSUE.
393
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,300
WAIT A MINUTE,
YOU GET PAID
TO RUB CREAM
394
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,600
ON WOMEN'S TITTIES, YO?
395
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,200
YEAH. I REALLY AM
A BOOB INSPECTOR.
396
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,700
OH, MY GOD.
397
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,300
COME ON IN, GUYS.
DAMN.
398
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:24,800
WHAT KIND OF BENEFITS
A JOB LIKE THAT GOT?
399
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,600
THAT'S TIGHT. HA.
400
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:35,000
AH, MAN, FLING, MAN,
THEY GOT SOME
SWEET PUSSY ON HERE.
401
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,500
YEAH,
BUT THAT'S NOT THE DEAL.
402
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,200
WE COULD HAVE DONE
THIS OURSELVES.
403
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,200
NO, DUMBSHIT.
THESE ONLINE
DATING SITES
404
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,600
ARE A GREAT WAY
TO LEARN
ABOUT WOMEN
405
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,700
AND THE GAMES
THEY PLAY.
406
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:45,800
( water splashing )
407
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,600
( whistling )
408
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,300
HEY, GIRLS.
LOOK WHAT I GOT.
409
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,400
YAY, DRINKS!
410
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,200
OHH!
411
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,800
PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!
412
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,600
I HATE TAN LINES!
IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE!
413
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,500
"DOGS ARE CONTROLLED
BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES.
414
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,100
EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE."
415
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,600
DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?
416
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,400
THEY EVEN CALL
THEMSELVES DOGS.
417
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,800
IT'S SO PATHETIC.
418
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,200
THEY WOULD SPEND
THEIR WHOLE LIFE--
419
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,300
CAR, JOB, AND BEING--
420
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,400
JUST TRYING TO SQUIRT.
421
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,500
( laughing )
422
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,100
YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
423
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,300
"I LIKE CUDDLING,
SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS,
424
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:41,500
"WALKS ON THE BEACH,
DINING, A NICE MAN,
425
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,700
SINCERE, KIND"?
426
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,300
THIS SHIT
MAKES ME SICK.
427
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,300
WHY? SOME OF
THAT STUFF IS CUTE.
428
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,500
OKAY, WINETASTING.
429
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,400
THAT MEANS SHE LIKES
TO GET FUCKED UP.
430
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,300
DINING. THAT MEANS
YOU TAKE HER
OUT TO DINNER.
431
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,100
WHAT, VACATIONS?
432
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,600
YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING
FOR THESE VACATIONS?
433
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,500
DO YOU REMEMBER
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER
434
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,600
AND YOU THOUGHT THAT IF YOU
WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY
435
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,200
HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK?
436
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,600
YES. OH, MY GOD,
I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM.
437
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,100
I MEAN,
I REALLY TREATED HIM WELL.
438
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,400
HOW'D THAT WORK OUT
FOR YOU?
439
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,400
HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER.
AND MY BEST FRIEND.
440
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,600
HEY, DUDE,
CHECK OUT THE FRIEND.
441
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,600
YEAH, DUDE,
SHE'S FINE.
442
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,200
Max: YEAH, SHE IS BOMB.
443
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,900
BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK
AT ALL THESE PHOTOS.
444
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,300
DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING?
445
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:23,600
A LOT OF THEM AREN'T
FULL BODY SHOTS.
446
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,100
RIGHT.
447
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,200
THEY'RE TAKEN FROM
HIGH ANGLES, TOO.
448
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,200
YEAH, LOTS OF THEM ARE
WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES.
449
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,400
YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.
450
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,200
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR
BABY DOLL DRESSES?
451
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,500
BECAUSE IT HIDES
THEIR FAT ASSES.
452
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,200
SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES,
453
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,500
THEY'RE ALL TRYING
TO TRICK YOU IN SOME WAY.
454
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,900
THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY
455
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,600
TO UNDERSTAND
THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN.
456
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,200
YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO GET AN IDEA
457
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,500
OF HOW DECEITFUL
THE AVERAGE GIRL IS.
458
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,800
WE DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS.
459
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,900
I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OUT
ALL THE HOTTIES,
460
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,600
AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED
TO FOCUS ON.
461
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,800
THE TRICK IS TO GET THEM
ALL EXCITED,
462
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,700
BUT IF YOU WANT
TO SEE THEM AGAIN,
463
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,400
LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE.
464
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,500
REALLY?
OH, YEAH.
465
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,300
OKAY, THE NEXT TIME
YOU BRING A GUY HOME,
466
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,800
I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM.
467
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,200
I MEAN, MAKE A HUGE SHOW.
PORN-STYLE.
468
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,500
OHH! YEAH!
469
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,400
SEXY!
470
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,500
THAT'S IT!
471
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,800
THANK YOU.
472
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,700
AND THEN HE'LL
BE SO EXCITED.
473
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,200
OHH, OHH!
474
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,500
BUT DON'T LET HIM
PUT IT IN.
475
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,500
AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE,
476
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,700
LEAVE WITHOUT
GIVING YOUR NUMBER.
477
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,600
THAT WORKS?
OF COURSE.
478
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,600
THE REJECTION PLAYS
ON THEIR INSECURITIES,
479
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,200
AND WE ALL KNOW THAT
ALL MEN REALLY CARE ABOUT
IS TITS AND ASS.
480
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,800
THANK YOU.
HA HA HA!
481
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,600
THEY WOULD SIT AROUND
OGLING US ALL DAY LONG
IF THEY COULD.
482
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,800
( laughter )
483
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800
OH, MAN,
SHE WAS MADE TO GET LAID.
484
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,600
YOU GUYS CHECK THIS OUT,
27 LEVELS OF COMPATIBILITY.
485
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,300
IS HER ASS COMPATIBLE
WITH MY DICK?
486
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:49,700
AND WHAT THE FUCK
IS A CUPID SCORE, MAN?
487
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,400
JUST SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES.
488
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,800
RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT MEN
ARE DESIGNED TO DO.
489
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,300
GET WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN.
490
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,700
NOW, LOOK AT WHAT
THEY SAY, FIRST,
"NO PLAYERS.
491
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:01,200
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A HOOKUP,
THEN MOVE ON, MISTER."
492
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,400
THEN WHY THE FUCK
IS SHE STANDING
493
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,900
IN FRONT OF A FERRARI
WITH HER TITS OUT?
494
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:05,800
RIGHT. IT'S TO GET YOU
ALL RILED UP.
495
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,900
AND CHECK IT,
"I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY
496
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,500
"WHO'S KIND AND LOYAL
AND SPIRITUAL
497
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,400
AND CARING
AND AMBITIOUS."
498
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,700
AMBITIOUS?
DOESN'T REALLY FIT,
RIGHT?
499
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,000
THE ONE COMMON WORD
IN ALL THE HOTTIES.
500
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000
YOU KNOW, "GENEROUS"
SEEMS TO CROP UP THE MOST.
501
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,700
YEAH, I'M GETTIN'
"GENEROUS" A BUNCH, TOO.
502
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,500
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE
RIGHT THERE.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
503
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,300
BUT YOU CAN'T BE GENEROUS
IF YOU DON'T HAVE CASH.
504
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,500
YOU KNOW,
THE WOMEN WE'RE AFTER
ARE MONEY-GRUBBING HOS.
505
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,900
GODDAMN RIGHT.
506
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,700
WE KNOW FROM CAVEMAN TIMES
507
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,900
THAT A MAN IS GENETICALLY
PREDISPOSED
508
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:39,300
TO BE FAITHFUL FOR A MAXIMUM
OF THREE YEARS
509
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:42,400
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG
IT TAKES FOR AN INFANT
TO LEARN HOW TO WALK.
510
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,700
THEN THEY LEAVE THE CAVE
AND THE MOTHER
511
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,800
TO GO SPREAD THEIR SEED
FAR AND WIDE.
512
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,600
IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE,
513
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,700
SO FORGET ABOUT
THAT FAIRY TALE,
GROWING OLD TOGETHER...
514
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,900
I LOVE FAIRY TALES.
515
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,400
LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE SEEDS
TO SPREAD,
516
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,500
BUT WE DO HAVE LEGS.
517
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,900
YEAH, WE DO!
518
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,700
EXACTLY. I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE
ALL COOL AND HIPSTER LOOKING.
519
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,600
WHAT, ARE YOU IN A BAND?
YEAH, WE GOT BEATS.
520
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,400
YEAH, LIKE CREEPY BEATS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF
LIKE A GOTH VIBE
521
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,800
WITH, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP.
522
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,800
YEAH, LIKE BAUHAUS
MEETS BOWWOW,
523
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,400
BUT LIKE MORE PALE.
ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
524
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,800
WITH A HINT OF
C&C MUSIC FACTORY.
525
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,500
UNLESS YOU'RE
FREDDY FUCKING MERCURY,
526
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,900
ALL THAT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
ABOUT BEING IN THE BAND
527
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,900
GETTING YOU LAID
DOESN'T APPLY WITH THESE CHICKS.
528
00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,100
MAN, THESE CHICKS WERE GETTING
DICKED OVER BY BAND DUDES
529
00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:31,800
WHEN YOU WERE STILL POPPING ZITS
ON YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK.
530
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,800
THAT'S YOU, BUDDY!
531
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,100
AND THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT
532
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,400
ABOUT YOUR "GIG"
AND YOUR CREEPY BEATS.
533
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,300
SO, LOOK,
GO GET YOUR HAIR CUT,
534
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:40,900
GO SEE MY TAILOR--
HE'LL GET GUYS ALL SORTED OUT--
535
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:42,000
AND WE'LL GET STARTED.
536
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,100
I'M SORRY.
WAIT. TAILOR?
537
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:44,400
IS THIS GOING
TO BE EXPENSIVE?
538
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,500
YEAH, IT'S GOING
TO BE EXPENSIVE!
539
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,100
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
540
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,800
AND THIS THRIFT-STORE SHIT
AND THESE IRONIC T-SHIRTS--
541
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,600
IT'S JUST NOT GONNA CUT IT.
542
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,600
AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE GLASSES--
DO YOU EVEN NEED THOSE GLASSES?
543
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,300
NO, THEY'RE NOT FOR SEEING.
IT'S FOR THE LOOK.
544
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,700
YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE STUPID.
545
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,700
AND TAKE OUT
THAT FUCKING NOSE RING.
546
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,600
JESUS, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
547
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,600
AND BY GIVING A LITTLE BIT
TO A FEW DIFFERENT GUYS,
548
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,400
IF IT'S DONE WITH CLASS,
549
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,000
A WOMAN CAN EASILY
SUPPORT HERSELF.
550
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,800
AND THE RICHER THE GUY,
THE BIGGER THE PAYOFF.
551
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,700
I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT
OF IT LIKE THAT.
552
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,000
YOU SAID IT.
553
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,100
OKAY, I AM SO IN.
WHERE DO WE MEET THESE GUYS?
554
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,000
ELLE, GRETCHEN, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE THE NEW GIRLS OUT
555
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,300
AND SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE?
556
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,400
YEAH!
557
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,500
OH, MY GOSH,
WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN.
558
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,700
( cheering )
559
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,800
I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH.
560
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,100
YOU GOT A CREDIT CARD,
DON'T YOU?
561
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:32,600
YEAH. MY MOM'S.
WELL, CHARGE IT.
562
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,800
LOOK, YOU GOTTA AT LEAST LOOK
LIKE YOU COULD THROW DOWN
SOME CASH, ALL RIGHT?
563
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,500
BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO SAVE UP, MAN.
564
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,000
I'M PAYING OFF
MY STUDENT LOANS.
565
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,700
LOOK, DINGLEBERRY,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RICH.
566
00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:41,500
YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK RICH.
567
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,600
LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WAS
JUST GONNA GIVE US SOME TIPS,
568
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,400
WE SPEND ALL THIS MONEY...
NIGGA, I'M BROKE.
569
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,600
ARE YOU OKAY, YVONNE?
570
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,400
IS THERE ANYTHING
WE CAN HELP YOU WITH?
571
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,600
NOT REALLY.
572
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,000
ANYTHING YOU'RE
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH?
573
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,400
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO
CHANGE ABOUT YOUR BODY?
574
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,600
NO. WHY?
575
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,800
YOU'D BE SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE
IF YOU JUST GOT SOME BOOBS.
576
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,700
I LIKE MY BOOBS!
577
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,900
I KNOW, DEAR,
BUT THEY'LL CHANGE
YOUR LIFE.
578
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,700
LOCK IT IN.
YOU GOT IT LOCKED IN,
NOW PUT SOME PRESSURE ON IT.
579
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,000
( choking )
580
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,900
YOU WANNA CUT OFF
CIRCULATION TO HIS BRAIN.
581
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,900
THAT'S GOOD.
BONES, GOOD JOB.
582
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,100
THANKS.
THANKS A LOT, JOHNNY.
583
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:23,000
THANKS, JOHNNY.
YEAH, NO PROBLEM, GUYS.
584
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,800
HEY, NICE SHOES, GUY TOWN.
VERY PRETTY.
585
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,700
FAGGOTS.
COME ON, MAN.
586
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,400
IS THIS THE ONLY REASON
YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE
WAS TO MAKE FUN OF US?
587
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,700
NO. IT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON.
588
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,400
I GOT YOUR MESSAGE
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
589
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,000
I THINK I CAN HELP.
NOW WHAT HAPPENED.
590
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,100
IT WENT PRETTY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO THE VELVET,
591
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,600
YOU KNOW, WE MET THESE CHICKS,
WE WAS BUYING THEM DRINKS,
592
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,100
THEY WAS FEELING
OUR NEW FLY GEAR AND SHIT...
AND MY HAIR.
593
00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:43,700
YEAH, WE EVEN DEFENDED
THEM FROM THIS DUDE
WHO TRIED TO SNAKE IN.
594
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,700
YEAH, MAN, BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME
TO CLOSE THE DEAL UP, MAN,
595
00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:50,800
THIS DUDE INVITED THEM TO SOME
JACUZZI PARTY IN THE HILLS,
AND THEY ALL BROKE OUT.
596
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,700
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
THEY WERE GONNA BE LIKE,
597
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,700
"NO, LET'S ALL GO BACK
TO MY PLACE AND FUCK"?
598
00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:56,000
I WAS HOPING SO.
599
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,600
THERE PROBABLY
WASN'T EVEN A PARTY,
600
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,000
BUT THE DUDE HAD A PLAN.
601
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,900
HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.
602
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,100
YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT TO HAVE
A PHOTO SHOOT AT YOUR STUDIO
603
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:03,500
AFTER THE BAR CLOSES.
604
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,100
WILL THEY GO FOR THAT?
OF COURSE.
605
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:06,700
LOOK, THEY SPEND A LOT OF MONEY
TO LOOK GOOD,
606
00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:08,500
SO YOU KINDA GOTTA PLAY
TO THEIR VANITY.
607
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,200
OKAY, BUT WHERE ARE
WE GONNA TAKE THEM?
608
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,900
I DUNNO, MAN,
YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
609
00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,500
HEY, JOHNNY, LET'S GET
THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
610
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,600
WHAT ABOUT A CAMERA?
NO, I'VE GOT A CAMERA.
611
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,600
GOOD. BUT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED
TO GET A POLAROID, TOO.
612
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,500
POLAROID? THEY DON'T MAKE
THAT SHIT NO MORE. THAT'S OLD.
613
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,600
JOHNNY, LETS GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE, MAN.
LET'S ROLL.
614
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,900
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
LOOK, YOU SAID YOU'D DO
WHAT I TELL YOU, RIGHT?
615
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:26,700
TRUST ME.
ALL RIGHT, MAN.
616
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,200
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PATCH
ON YOUR SHOULDER?
617
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,700
IT'S A FLEUR DE LIS.
IT'S COOL.
618
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:30,800
NO, IT'S NOT COOL.
619
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,100
WELL...
620
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,700
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
BYE, LADIES.
621
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,900
Max: SO JOHNNY TOLD US
TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE,
622
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:42,700
BUT I THOUGHT HE
SAID "WHORES."
623
00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,600
YEAH. I'M UP
AND COMING, THOUGH.
624
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,000
I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT.
625
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,700
OH. THIS IS SO OLD.
626
00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:47,300
YOU WANNA COME BACK
TO MY BUDDY AARON'S STUDIO,
HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT?
627
00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:48,800
A PHOTO SHOOT?
628
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,800
ARE THOSE REAL?
629
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:52,200
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
630
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,700
I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE
TO FIND OUT...MAYBE.
631
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,900
YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER.
632
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,100
ARE THEY PROFESSIONAL?
633
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:01,900
WELL, YEAH, I GUESS.
634
00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:04,100
LET'S DO IT.
YOU GOT SOME BOOZE
BACK AT THE OFFICE RIGHT?
635
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:06,100
YEAH, YEAH.
A LITTLE, A LITTLE.
636
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,700
WE COULD DO
SOME SHOTS TOGETHER.
637
00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:09,300
YEAH, LETS GO PARTY.
COME ON.
638
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,600
UH, THIS IS OUR BACKDROP.
639
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,800
LIKE, USUALLY WE HAVE,
LIKE, MOUNTAINS AND LAKES
640
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,800
AND THINGS LIKE THAT
AND INDIANS
IN THE BACKGROUND,
641
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,600
BUT WE ON
A TIGHT BUDGET NOW.
642
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,000
UP AGAINST EACH OTHER.
643
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,200
OKAY, JUST LIKE LITTLE
CHICKEN STRIPS, THERE YOU GO.
644
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,000
LET ME GET SOME LIGHT.
MOVE TO THE RIGHT SOME.
MOVE TO THE RIGHT.
645
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,100
RIGHT, NOW YOU'RE A TIGER.
TIGERS.
646
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:33,800
RAWR!
( laughs )
647
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,800
ALL RIGHT, YOU A CHEETAH.
648
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,100
YOU A JAGUAR. YOU A LEOPARD.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
649
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,300
( growling )
650
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:51,000
HO HO HO! SWEET!
651
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,800
MAN, THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY.
SO MANY TITTIES,
652
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,400
I JUST WANTED TO RUN
DOWN AND GO...
653
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,800
NICE.
654
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,300
MAN, IT WAS
FUCKING TITSVILLE.
655
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,300
SO, WHO'D YOU END UP WITH,
AARON?
656
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,200
I ENDED UP WITH THE BLONDIE.
UH, COURTNEY. SHE'S SO COOL.
657
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,300
DUDE, I NEARLY MADE OUT
WITH THAT ASIAN CHICK.
658
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,200
YEAH, MAN,
AND I WAS SNUGGLING UP
659
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,400
WITH SOME OF THE FIRMEST,
SMALLEST LITTLE TITTIES
660
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,100
YOU EVER WANNA GET UP
AGAINST, MAN.
661
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:12,700
WAIT. "NEARLY MADE OUT WITH"?
"SNUGGLING"?
662
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:14,200
ARE YOU GUYS IN JUNIOR HIGH?
663
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,100
OKAY, WAIT. NONE OF YOU
GOT LAID OUT OF THIS?
664
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:18,600
FOR CHRISSAKES,
YOU BROUGHT 'EM BACK,
665
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,800
YOU GOT 'EM FUCKED UP--
WHAT HAPPENED?
666
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,100
WE DIDN'T HAVE
ANY BOOZE.
667
00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:23,700
YEAH, I BROKE OUT
MY VAPORIZER, BUT--
668
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,800
OKAY, NO BOOZE? WHY NOT?
669
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,700
WHAT IS THIS, AMATEUR HOUR?
AND, WHAT, A VAPORIZER?
670
00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,700
NO, JOHNNY!
I USE VAPORIZER!
671
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:31,900
OF COURSE YOU DO,
SWEETHEART.
672
00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:33,400
I LIKE. IT'S GREAT.
673
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,100
IT'S GREAT FOR WASTING WEED.
674
00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,900
NO. NO, NO, NO.
YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT.
675
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:40,400
YOU HAVE TO SUCK HARD.
I SUCK HARD.
676
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,000
I SUCK SO HARD.
YOU KNOW I SUCK GOOD.
677
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,400
YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO,
SWEETHEART.
678
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,300
YOU'RE SO BAD.
YOU'RE BAD.
679
00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,100
YOU'RE BAD. EVIL.
680
00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:49,900
MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
SMOKING A BLUNT FOR?
681
00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,800
WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
IT WAS COOL TO SMOKE HERE.
682
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,300
CLAUDIA.
TIME FOR MY MEDICINE.
683
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:58,400
LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
THIS IS COLD-SORE CHRONIC.
684
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,700
I DON'T WANT YOUR HEPATITIS,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
685
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,900
THANK YOU, CLAUDIA.
686
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000
I USE A CARBONITE.
687
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,900
YOU GRIND IT UP FINE,
THE WATER COOLS THE SMOKE,
688
00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:11,100
AND THE CARBON TRAPS THE GUNK.
689
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:12,200
HERE, CHECK IT.
690
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:16,300
BLACK SMOKE IN...
691
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:19,200
WHITE SMOKE OUT.
692
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,300
IT'S A MONSTER HIT,
NO COUGHING.
693
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,100
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU
GET HER PROPERLY STONED.
694
00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:26,300
THANKS, CLAUDIA.
695
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:27,500
Max:
OH, MAN, THAT'S TIGHT.
696
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,900
SO, ALL RIGHT,
WELL, NEXT TIME--
697
00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:31,400
NO, NO, NO. NO NEXT TIME.
698
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,400
LATE-NIGHT WEED
IS ONLY GONNA GET HER
699
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,100
HUNGRY OR TIRED
OR PARANOID.
700
00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:36,500
WELL, WHAT ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO?
701
00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:39,500
WEED IS FOR DAYTIME.
COKE IS FOR NIGHTTIME.
702
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,100
YEAH, MAN,
BUT WE DON'T REALLY DO COKE.
703
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,200
I DO.
SINCE WHEN?
704
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,300
WELL, YOU DO NOW MAX.
YOU'RE A BIG BOY.
705
00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:48,200
IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING YOU
TO SHOOT UP IN YOUR EYEBALL!
706
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,500
I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT.
707
00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,800
OKAY, JOHNNY,
ALL DONE. YOU LIKE?
708
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,000
I LIKE.
THANK YOU.
709
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,800
OKAY, NOW I HAVE TO WAX
YOUR BALLS.
710
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:56,900
OKAY, GO, GO, GO.
711
00:29:56,900 --> 00:29:59,300
I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS.
712
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,400
MAN, THESE CLOTHES, COKE...
713
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,400
WE'RE TURNING INTO
HOLLYWOOD DOUCHEBAGS.
714
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,100
HEY, MAN, THAT'S HOW WE GONNA
GET THAT HOLLYWOOD TAIL, MAN.
715
00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:13,100
RIGHT ON.
716
00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:14,500
"THE MALE G-SPOT..."
717
00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:17,100
ISN'T THAT HIS DICK?
NO, IT'S HIS TAINT.
718
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:20,100
IT'S RIGHT BETWEEN THE SCHLONG
AND THE TURKEY GOBBLE.
719
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,200
( laughing )
720
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,100
NO, IT'S IN HIS ASSHOLE.
721
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,300
NASTY.
722
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,400
YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE.
LOOK.
723
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,000
LET ME SEE.
724
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,500
AHH, THIS LOOKS LIKE
SUCH A FUN NIGHT.
725
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:35,200
IT WAS OK.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN,
726
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,100
BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE
OR DRUGS OR ANYTHING.
727
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:40,400
OH, I KNOW A GUY WE CAN
BUY SOME DRUGS FROM.
728
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,000
SWEETIE...WE'RE THE REASON
WHY GUYS BUY DRUGS.
729
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,300
AND IT'S NOT JUST DRUGS.
BEING HOT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE.
730
00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:50,100
EVERY PENNY COUNTS.
WENDY, SHOW HER THE SCALE.
731
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,200
A BAG OF WEED
AND A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT
IS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM.
732
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,100
FLASH THEM,
YOU LET THEM JERK OFF.
733
00:30:57,100 --> 00:30:58,900
AND SOME COKE
OR A BOTTLE OF XANAX,
734
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,300
AND THEY MIGHT
GET A HANDJOB.
735
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,900
SHOES OVER 500 BUCKS,
AND THEY MIGHT GET LAID.
736
00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:05,000
IF YOU LIKE THE GUY.
737
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,300
STRIPPER SHOES,
AND THEY MIGHT GET
738
00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:08,200
TO SUCK A NIPPLE
AND BEAT OFF...
739
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,400
NOW, IF IT'S A DAY AT THE SPA,
THAT COULD BE A BLOW JOB.
740
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,400
OR IF THEY HELP YOU MOVE,
THAT COULD BE ONE, TOO.
741
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,000
OKAY, BUT THAT'S ONLY IF YOU'RE
IN THE MOOD TO SUCK COCK.
742
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,900
OF COURSE.
WHAT IS IT, COURTNEY?
743
00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:25,300
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE
WE'RE PROSTITUTES.
744
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,000
( laughter )
745
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,000
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
746
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,300
HEY! PRIVATE PARTY!
747
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:35,900
ONCH. BACK IN YOUR ROOM.
WHERE YOU BELONG. GO.
748
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:37,600
OHH, TENANTS!
749
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,600
LOOK, GIRLS, IT'S NOT
AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD.
750
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,000
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HEARD ABOUT A GUY
751
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,900
WHO WAS TRYING TO JUGGLE
A CAREER AND A FAMILY?
752
00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:47,000
I MEAN, RIGHT NOW,
YOU'RE CUTE AND YOUNG.
THANKS!
753
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,300
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO SPEND TO KEEP UP
THE HOTNESS AS YOU AGE.
754
00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:51,600
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
A LOT.
755
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,600
AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP
AS STRETCH-MARKED SINGLE MOTHER
756
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,600
WITH A WASTOID HUSBAND
WHO'S IN A BAND,
757
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,900
WHO CAN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT
OR ALIMONY,
758
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,500
YOU BETTER TO GET THAT MONEY.
759
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,000
I'M GOING TO TINKLE.
760
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,600
THAT'S WHAT THE T.O.B. CLUB
IS ALL ABOUT.
761
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,100
HOW DO YOU THINK WENDY
GOT US OUR HOUSE?
762
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:10,500
I DON'T KNOW, HOW?
763
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,500
WELL, SHE WAS WORKING
AT THIS TECH FIRM,
764
00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:14,400
AND SHE
STARTED SLEEPING
WITH THE OWNER...
765
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,000
AS WE ALL DO.
766
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,100
AND I THINK HE LIKED HER,
767
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:20,600
AND THEY BECAME VERY CLOSE.
I THINK HE EVEN LOVED HER.
768
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,900
OHH!
769
00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:23,600
BUT HE WAS OLD,
AND HE WAS JEWISH.
770
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,900
OHH.
771
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,300
YEAH.
YEAH.
772
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,000
AVI...
HI.
773
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000
HI, HONEY.
774
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,500
I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT ONE.
775
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,300
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
NICE, NICE.
776
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:42,600
NO...LOOK.
777
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,700
NOT NOW.
778
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,400
OH, AVI, YOU HAVE
SO MUCH MONEY.
779
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,300
YOU SHOULD JUST
BUY ME A HOUSE.
780
00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,200
I'M NOT BUYING YOU
A HOUSE.
781
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,900
WELL, THE DOWN PAYMENT
AT LEAST.
782
00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:57,100
I COULD GET ROOMMATES
TO PAY FOR THE MORTGAGE.
783
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,200
WELL, WELL,
IT WOULD APPRECIATE...
784
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,500
THE MARKET'S UP...
MAYBE.
785
00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:03,600
AND IT'D BE
IN MY NAME, RIGHT?
786
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,900
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
IT'LL BE IN MY NAME.
787
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,500
NO, MY NAME.
788
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,100
LOOK, I BUY YOU
ENOUGH STUFF ALREADY.
789
00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:13,100
BUT YOU PROMISED
AFTER A YEAR,
YOU'D BUY ME A HOUSE.
790
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,200
NO WAY DID I SAY THAT!
791
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,400
YES, YOU DID!
YOU PROMISED!
792
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,300
NO WAY, I'M NOT
BUYING YOU NO HOUSE!
793
00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:19,200
FUCK YOU,
YOU ASSHOLE LIAR!
794
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,700
FUCK YOU! NO!
OW! OW!
795
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,000
MY PLUG! YOU FUCKING
LITTLE BITCH!
796
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,400
I'M NOT BUYING YOU
ANYTHING!
797
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,100
OWW! WRITE ME
THE FUCKING CHECK.
798
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,500
FUCK YOU.
799
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,200
( gasps )
LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
800
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,500
I'M CALLING THE POLICE.
801
00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,200
GO AHEAD, CALL THEM.
802
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,700
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I'LL CALL THEM,
803
00:33:40,700 --> 00:33:42,600
AND I'LL HAVE YOU
ARRESTED.
804
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,600
OH, YEAH, WHO ARE
THEY GOING TO BELIEVE,
A 90-POUND LITTLE GIRL
805
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,000
OR AN OLD MAN WITH TWO DUIs
WHO'S BEEN SEXUALLY
HARASSING ME AT WORK?
806
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,500
"I'M SORRY, OFFICER,
SHE PULLED MY HAIR,
SO I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER."
807
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:54,000
GIVE ME THAT!
808
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,200
GIVE IT!
GIVE ME IT!
809
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,200
GIVE IT, I'LL SCREAM.
810
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,500
GO AHEAD, SCREAM.
811
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,700
IT'S SWELLING UP!
812
00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:02,500
YOU KNOW I'M A MODEL.
HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED
TO WORK AGAIN?
813
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,300
I NEVER LAID
A HAND ON YOU.
814
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,300
OH, YEAH. LET'S SEE
WHAT THE JUDGE HAS
TO SAY ABOUT THAT.
815
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:07,600
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"WE'LL SEE WHAT
THE JUDGE SAYS"?
816
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,000
I NEVER TOUCHED YOU.
YES, YOU DID, YOU BASTARD!
817
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,400
OH, MAN,
FORGET WITH THE PICTURES.
I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU.
818
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,000
I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS.
819
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:19,200
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
YOU WIN. YOU WIN.
820
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:20,700
I'M GETTING OUT MY CHECKBOOK.
I'M GONNA WRITE YOU THE CHECK.
821
00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:22,700
GOOD. YOU SHOULD.
822
00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:25,300
NOW YOU GET YOUR STUFF,
YOU PACK IT UP,
823
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:27,600
AND YOU GET THE FUCK
OUT OF MY HOUSE.
824
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,600
JUST SIGN IT.
825
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,700
HERE'S YOUR CHECK.
826
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,700
IT'S WORTH
A MEASLY HUNDRED GRAND
JUST TO GET RID OF YOU,
827
00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:39,100
YOU SPITEFUL LITTLE CUNT.
828
00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:41,400
BUT THEY CAME UP
WITH A HAPPY SOLUTION,
829
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,600
AND THEY BOTH GOT
WHAT THEY WANTED.
830
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,100
AS WE ALL SHOULD.
831
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,400
OKAY, LADIES...
832
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,400
OHH!
OHH!
WHAT IS THAT?
833
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,100
SEX TIP OF THE WEEK...
834
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,800
"TO DRIVE YOUR MAN CRAZY,
PLACE THE DONUT OVER THE SHAFT
835
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,200
AND GENTLY NIBBLE IT OFF."
836
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,500
OKAY, WHO WANTS TO HELP?
837
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:07,800
UH, LYRIC AND PAGE.
COME ON.
838
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,700
( chanting )
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
839
00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,500
( indistinct shouting )
840
00:35:19,100 --> 00:35:23,200
DUDE, JOHNNY'S GUY
IS NOT FUCKING AROUND.
THIS SHIT IS NICE.
841
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,300
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE
A LITTLE BABY GLACIER.
842
00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:27,600
THEY CALL IT FISH SCALE,
LIKE WHEN IT GLISTENS,
YOU KNOW.
843
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,400
MAN, IF WE START
SELLING THIS SHIT,
844
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,600
THEN I COULD ACTUALLY
RAP ABOUT IT.
845
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,600
? YEAH, RIBBITY RAP RAP,
RAP ABOUT IT ?
846
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,400
DUDE, WE MAY NOT EVEN
HAVE TO SELL IT.
847
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,200
THAT GIRL GRETCHEN CALLED ME.
SHE WANTS TO GET SOME OF THIS.
848
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,200
I'M THINKING I MIGHT
GET SOME OF THAT. HA.
849
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,100
? LOOK AT THIS LITTLE
ROCK OF COKE ?
850
00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:43,700
? IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY GLACIER
851
00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:46,400
? I MIGHT GIVE YOU SOME
IF YOU HIT ME ON THE PAGER ?
852
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,900
? HIT YOU UP LATER
853
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:51,900
OH, I'M ONTO SOME
SHIT RIGHT HERE. RIGHT?
854
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,600
I HATE IT.
855
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,200
YOU NEED TO STOP HATIN'
'CAUSE YOU CANT RAP.
856
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,900
I'M NOT--WHY AM I
A HATER ALL OF A SUDDEN?
857
00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:59,700
DON'T WORRY, YVONNE,
YOU'LL GET THE HANG
OF IT,
858
00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:01,500
BUT FIRST WE HAVE
TO FIX THESE.
859
00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:03,200
I'M FINE WITH THEM
THE WAY THEY ARE.
860
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,400
I KNOW, SWEETIE,
BUT DID THE DOCTOR CALL?
861
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,200
YEAH. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT
NEXT WEEK, BUT WHAT DO I DO?
862
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,400
IT'S EASY.
HE'S A DOG, SO JUST
THROW HIM A BONE.
863
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,700
HE DID BOTH OF OURS,
AND ELLE'S.
864
00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:16,100
( sighs )
865
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:18,500
WHAT SIZE WOULD I GET?
866
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:21,400
SIZE DOESN'T MATTER,
SWEETIE.
867
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,600
MINE ARE RELATIVELY SMALL.
868
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,800
MINE ARE BIG.
869
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,200
BUT WE DON'T
DISCRIMINATE HERE.
870
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,800
GUYS LIKE GIRLS
WITH IMPLANTS,
871
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,700
AND WE DIDN'T
GET THEM DONE
TO PUT THEM AWAY.
872
00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:30,300
SO WHEN IS YOUR DATE?
873
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,800
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
874
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,400
OKAY, SO GO OUT
TO DINNER WITH HIM,
875
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,300
AND LET HIM TALK ABOUT
HOW GREAT HE IS
876
00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:37,900
AND LAUGH AT ALL
OF HIS STUPID JOKES.
877
00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:41,500
"OHH, OH, OH,
IT HURTS, IT HURTS!"
878
00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:47,100
"WELL, MRS. PLOTNICK,
I THINK YOU GOT
A BROKEN FINGER."
879
00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:48,500
( laughing )
880
00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:50,300
YOU'RE SO FUNNY!
881
00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:51,600
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
882
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:54,200
I WORK IN THE RESEARCH LAB
FOR A WHILE...
883
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:55,400
Big Wendy:
TOUCH HIM A LITTLE BIT.
884
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,900
YOU'RE SO SMART.
885
00:36:57,900 --> 00:36:59,700
YOU HAVE A PIECE
OF PAPER HERE.
886
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:02,300
YOU ISOLATE THE TISSUE
FROM THE RAT.
887
00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:03,800
Little Wendy: HE'S GOING TO
INVITE YOU BACK TO HIS PLACE.
888
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,300
Yvonne: DO I GO?
889
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,700
Little Wendy:
OF COURSE.
890
00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,700
YOU'RE A MOUSE KILLER.
891
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:10,500
Big Wendy:
IT'S $8,000 OTHERWISE...
892
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:12,800
PER TATA!
LOOK AT YOU!
893
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,600
Little Wendy:
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIS CAR.
894
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,500
Big Wendy:
OH, THEY LOVE THEIR CARS.
895
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:21,500
OH, MY GOD.
I LOVE YOUR CAR,
BY THE WAY.
896
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:23,200
IT IS SO HOT.
897
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,500
SO WHERE ARE WE GOING?
898
00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,200
HOW ABOUT YOUR PLACE?
899
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,400
AND THEN?
900
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,500
AND THEN I WOULD
LOVE IT IF YOU...
901
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,900
Little Wendy:
...AND GIVE HIM SOMETHING
TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
902
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:35,500
( whispering )
903
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:38,300
...LIKE, ALL OVER
MY FACE AND LIPS.
904
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:41,400
OH, BABY,
THAT'S SO HOT.
905
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:46,000
Yvonne: EWWW.
DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO IT?
906
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,700
OF COURSE NOT, BUT YOU WANNA
KEEP HIS HEAD IN THE GAME.
907
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:53,900
EVERY MAN HAS SOMETHING
THAT DRIVES HIM CRAZY.
908
00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:59,000
DR. EUGENE IS A NEAT FREAK,
METROSEXUAL, BUT, LIKE,
TOO MUCH, YOU KNOW?
909
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,700
Big Wendy:
HE'S A CLEAN FREAK
910
00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:02,400
IN THE TRUEST SENSE
OF THE WORD.
911
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,900
BUT USE THAT AGAINST HIM.
912
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:06,600
MAKE A MESS, BEND OVER
AND CLEAN IT UP.
913
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,600
HE'LL BE WET SOAP
IN YOUR HANDS...
914
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:13,400
IT IS SO HOOKED UP.
AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU
DECORATED THE PLACE, TOO.
915
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,200
IT IS SO NEAT.
916
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,300
I LIKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
917
00:38:17,300 --> 00:38:21,400
AND IT IS SO CLEAN, TOO.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS TABLE...
918
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,000
YOU COULD PRACTICALLY
DO OPERATIONS OFF OF IT.
919
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,800
ONLY MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY,
MY DEAR YVONNE.
920
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:31,400
EXCEPT FOR THIS.
I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOUR KNOB IS A LITTLE DIRTY.
921
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,500
DO YOU MIND IF I JUST...
POLISH YOUR KNOB?
922
00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:35,600
( blows air )
923
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,400
A KNOB CANNOT BE
TOO SHINY IN MY BOOK.
924
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,700
OH, YEAH, WELL,
I LOVE TO CLEAN, TOO.
925
00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:51,700
I'M A BIT OF A FREAK
ABOUT IT ACTUALLY.
I HOPE THAT'S OKAY.
926
00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:56,500
LOOK AT THIS MESS.
WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT
AND CLEAN THIS FOR YOU?
927
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,700
( whirring )
928
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,700
LET ME SEE HOW THIS FEELS!
OHH...I LIKE THAT.
929
00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:11,500
YEAH...
I USE THE HOSE ATTACHMENT.
IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE.
930
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,700
I'M SURE YOU DO.
931
00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:15,400
( whirring stops )
932
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,400
OH, LOOK AT THAT DIRTY GLASS.
LET ME HANDLE THAT FOR YOU.
933
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,700
THAT'S AMAZING!
934
00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:23,500
OKAY, WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO GET MY DRESS WET,
935
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:26,000
SO I'M JUST GOING TO
TAKE IT OFF.
936
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,700
( singing in
foreign language )
937
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:45,900
WOW. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE ALMOST PERFECT.
938
00:39:45,900 --> 00:39:47,800
ALMOST?
939
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,500
WITH A LITTLE SHAPING HERE
AND THERE...
940
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,500
REALLY?
BECAUSE I'M PRETTY HAPPY
WITH HOW I AM NATURALLY.
941
00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:54,900
THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO FAKE.
942
00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:56,700
OH, NOT IF I DO IT.
943
00:39:56,700 --> 00:40:01,400
I'M THE BEST.
LATEST TECHNIQUES,
TINY INCISIONS,
944
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,600
ATRAUMATIC PROCEDURES...
NO BRUISING AT ALL.
945
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,600
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
946
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,900
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT,
LOVE IT.
947
00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:11,800
RIGHT NOW,
I'D LOVE A DRINK.
948
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,600
OH, YOU WILL HAVE THAT.
949
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:17,500
NOT IF I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU.
( laughs )
950
00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:19,000
HERE YOU GO.
951
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,700
Little Wendy:
AND THEN JUST SEAL THE DEAL.
952
00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:23,400
( clink )
953
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,000
NO, I REALLY SHOULD
PROBABLY GET GOING NOW.
954
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,800
OH, PLEASE STAY.
I'LL DROP YOU
IN THE MORNING.
955
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,000
NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO NOW.
956
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,700
BEFORE YOU GO
DO YOU MIND IF I...
957
00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:40,600
WHAT?
TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME?
958
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,500
YEAH.
959
00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:44,400
GO AHEAD.
960
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:50,000
OHH! WHOA!
THAT'S FORWARD!
961
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,600
DO YOU MIND IF I...
TOUCH MYSELF?
962
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,700
WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT
WITH THAT?
963
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,000
( singing in
foreign language )
964
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,500
LET ME GET MY PANTS OFF.
965
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,100
SO CLEAN...
I KNOW HOW YOU
LIKE THAT SOAP.
966
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:12,400
HERE WE GO.
967
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,700
OHH.
968
00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,000
OHH.
969
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,200
YOU LIKE THAT?
970
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,100
OH, YEAH.
CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?
971
00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:22,500
MAYBE.
972
00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:25,900
OHH. SCOUR IT,
I DON'T CARE.
973
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,000
YEAH, RUB IT.
974
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,000
BUT IF I SEE YOU AGAIN,
WE'LL DEFINITELY BE
CLEANING YOUR BEDROOM.
975
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,600
BEDROOM.
YEAH.
976
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,600
DIRTY BEDROOM.
DIRTY BEDROOM.
977
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,000
MUD TRACKING
IN FROM OUTSIDE.
OH, YEAH!
978
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,200
DR. EUGENE!
WHOO!
979
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,200
SO HOW MUCH IS IT?
980
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,800
TWO GRAMS...
ONE HUNDRED.
981
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,800
HMM, WELL, I DON'T HAVE
THE WHOLE HUNDRED...
982
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,600
BUT I HAVE THESE.
983
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,200
I ACCEPT THOSE.
984
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,600
Max: ALL RIGHT, REMEMBER
WHAT JOHNNY EYELASH SAID...
985
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,600
DIVIDE AND CONQUER.
986
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,200
( women talking indistinctly )
987
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,800
I HAVE THE SAME DRESS.
988
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:08,500
( women talking indistinctly )
989
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,600
HEY.
HEY.
990
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,200
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
991
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,600
SO IT'S PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
992
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,200
YEAH, IT WAS OKAY.
993
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,500
SO DO YOU HAVE TO WORK
TOMORROW?
994
00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:17,600
NO. WELL, NOT UNTIL 6 P.M.
995
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,200
OKAY, DO YOU WANNA
GET OUT OF HERE?
WE COULD SHARE A CAB.
996
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,800
NO. LET'S GO BACK
TO YOUR PLACE AND PARTY.
997
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,700
AWESOME. OKAY.
998
00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:26,100
SO YOU WANNA GO BACK
TO MY SPOT
999
00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:29,200
AND LEAVE THESE LOVEBIRDS
TO DO THEIR THING?
1000
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,300
DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE AT HOME?
1001
00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:31,700
YEAH. A GRIP.
1002
00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:34,600
OKAY.
BUT NO FUNNY STUFF.
1003
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,600
I KNOW.
( scoffs )
1004
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,700
( indistinct chattering )
1005
00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:48,000
DAMN. AHH.
1006
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,800
NICE TOUCH. AHEM.
1007
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,700
MY SISTER AND HER FRIENDS,
THEY'RE ALL INTO
THIS POSITIVE THINKING.
1008
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,800
THERE'S THIS ONE GIRL CARLY--
SHE WALKS AROUND WITH
A BLACK CLOUD OVER HER HEAD,
1009
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,000
BUT THEN SHE WATCHED THE SECRET,
AND I WATCHED THE SECRET
WITH MY FRIEND TIESTO.
1010
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,100
YOU KNOW WHO TIESTO IS,
RIGHT?
1011
00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:06,300
HUGE D.J.
DOES ALL THE BIG PARTIES.
1012
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,300
SO I DON'T LIKE
THAT ATKINS DIET.
1013
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:14,700
THAT'S TOO MANY RULES
FOR ME.
1014
00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:15,900
MY BIG THING...JUICING.
1015
00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:17,600
YOU WANNA HEAR THE RECIPE?
HERE IT IS.
1016
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,300
THIS IS WHAT I USE.
I USE KALE,
I USE SWISS CHARD...
1017
00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:21,900
GIVES IT A ZING,
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT?
1018
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,700
THEN MY DOCTOR,
HE'S LIKE,
YOU CANT USE SUGAR.
1019
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:29,600
( cash register dings )
1020
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,100
( whistling )
1021
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,900
YEAH, THIS ONE,
THIS IS WHEN I WAS
IN FRANCE.
1022
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,700
REALLY AWESOME TRIP.
YOU SEE THIS GUY? HE'S
PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING, HUH?
1023
00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:34,900
SO GOOD IN BED. YEAH,
BUT HE'S A BIT BORING.
1024
00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:36,900
HELL, YES. I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
1025
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:38,100
HEY, YOU GOT ANY MORE BLOW?
1026
00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:39,700
NAH, YOU DID IT ALL.
1027
00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:41,300
CAN I DO THE LAST LINE
FOR THE ROAD?
UH, YEAH.
1028
00:44:41,300 --> 00:44:43,400
UH, I WAS WONDERING,
UH...
1029
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,300
BEFORE YOU LEFT
IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND
1030
00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:50,900
IF I JUST LOOK AT YOU
AND BEAT OFF TO YOU?
1031
00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:53,200
I SAID NO FUNNY STUFF.
1032
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,300
I MEAN, I KNOW
YOU SAID THAT,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
1033
00:44:55,300 --> 00:44:57,200
WE STARTED LOOKING
AT THE MODELING PICTURES.
1034
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,800
LOOK, I'LL EVEN DO IT
OVER HERE.
1035
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,300
OKAY, FINE.
1036
00:45:03,700 --> 00:45:07,400
ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT
OF ENCOURAGEMENT.
1037
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,900
OH, YEAH.
1038
00:45:08,900 --> 00:45:12,700
YOU ARE AMAZING.
1039
00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:14,100
I KNOW.
1040
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:20,700
NOW I'M GOING TO
GET MY FUCK ON.
1041
00:45:20,700 --> 00:45:21,900
IS THIS GONNA
TAKE MUCH LONGER?
1042
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:23,000
CAN YOU SHOW ME
YOUR NIPPLE?
1043
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,900
GOD.
1044
00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:27,700
OH, YES.
THAT'LL DO.
1045
00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:29,400
IT'S GETTING LIGHT OUTSIDE.
I HATE THAT.
1046
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,800
DO NOT GET ANY OF THAT
ON ME.
1047
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,900
ALL RIGHT.
AH, THAT'S IT.
1048
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:35,800
YEAH, IT BETTER BE IT,
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TAKE OFF
IN A MINUTE.
1049
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,000
LOOK, WOULD YOU
JUST STOP TALKING?
DAMN!
1050
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,800
DON'T GET PISSY WITH ME.
I'M DOING YOU THE FAVOR.
ANYWAYS, I'M GETTING COLD.
1051
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,000
UH, LOOK,
CAN YOU JUST, UH...
1052
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
SHOW ME A LITTLE PIECE
OF YOUR ASS?
1053
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,900
JUST THE TOP PIECE,
AND I SWEAR
I'LL COME QUICK.
1054
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,100
OH, GOD.
1055
00:45:50,100 --> 00:45:51,200
THANK YOU.
1056
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:53,900
AHH. OH, YEAH,
THANK YOU.
1057
00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:55,900
CAN YOU PLEASE HURRY UP?
THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG.
I'M ABOUT TO COME RIGHT NOW.
1058
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:58,400
YEAH, YOU BETTER BECAUSE
I'M ABOUT TO GET OUT
OF HERE, OKAY?
1059
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,800
I GOTTA WALK MY DOG.
LITTLE DOG SHITS
ALL OVER MY KITCHEN NOW.
1060
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,100
UHH! AAH!
1061
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:04,700
OW! OH, MY GOD!
1062
00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,300
WHAT THE FUCK?!
YOU ASSHOLE!
1063
00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:09,800
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE KEEP TRACK
OF THIS SHIT.
1064
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,100
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
FUCK AGAIN IN THIS TOWN!
1065
00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:16,900
( laughing )
OH, MY GOD.
THAT WAS GREAT.
1066
00:46:16,900 --> 00:46:18,700
I'M SORRY!
1067
00:46:18,700 --> 00:46:21,200
( laughter )
1068
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,500
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYIN'?
1069
00:46:23,500 --> 00:46:26,000
? THAT LOQUACIOUS BITCH
WENT ON A FRUIT JUICE RAMBLE ?
1070
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,500
? I HAD TO WHIP OUT MY DICK
AND SHOOT JIZZ LIKE RAMBO ?
1071
00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:31,000
ABSOLUTELY.
1072
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,200
SHE DRANK YOU OUT
OF HOUSE AND HOME,
SHE DID ALL YOUR GEAR,
1073
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,900
AND THE YOU HAD TO LISTEN
TO HER STUPID STORIES
ALL NIGHT.
1074
00:46:36,900 --> 00:46:38,200
( buzz )
1075
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,400
HEY.
HEY, JOHNNY.
1076
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,900
( sighs )
1077
00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:42,500
SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN?
1078
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,800
OH, DUDE,
IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE
YOU SAID IT WOULD.
1079
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,300
SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO PAY FOR IT,
1080
00:46:46,300 --> 00:46:48,000
AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY,
"THREE-DOLLAR COKE WHORE,"
1081
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,100
I'M CHEWING ON HER TITS
LIKE A SIX-MONTH-OLD BABY.
1082
00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:51,100
( laughing )
1083
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,100
NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE.
1084
00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:54,500
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S US, GUYS, COME ON.
1085
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
MMM. THAT'S NICE.
1086
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,500
LET ME HAVE A QUARTER.
YOU GOT IT.
1087
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,500
DUDE, CAN WE GET SOME?
NO, DICKSHINE.
1088
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,200
THIS IS ONLY
IF YOU'RE SICK.
1089
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,500
YOU GOTTA GET YOURS
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.
OUTSIDE.
1090
00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:14,500
DUDE, THAT'S FUCKED UP.
YOU AIN'T SICK, MAN.
1091
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:17,000
YOU KNOW I WANT
SOME OF THIS SHIT.
1092
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,000
HERE.
YES!
1093
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,300
I GUESS THIS'LL DO.
1094
00:47:20,300 --> 00:47:23,000
SO, AARON, HOW'D
YOUR COKESCAPADE GO?
1095
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,800
MAN, FUCK COKE!
YOU KNOW?
1096
00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:27,400
HONESTLY, WE HAD
A GREAT NIGHT LAST NIGHT.
1097
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,400
THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP,
AND I MADE HER BREAKFAST.
1098
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,500
WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. DUDE,
SHE'S A REALLY GOOD GIRL.
1099
00:47:33,500 --> 00:47:37,200
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK
I'M GOING TO ASK HER
TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND.
1100
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:40,200
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKING HER!
1101
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,400
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE'S NOT ALL MONEY-GRUBBING.
1102
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,100
YEAH, MAYBE NOT YET, BUT...
1103
00:47:43,100 --> 00:47:47,900
I USED TO BE LIKE YOU.
ALL WIDE-EYED AND IN LOVE.
1104
00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:50,200
IT'S OVER!
COME ON, WEN, PLEASE!
1105
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,800
DON'T GO WITH THIS BOOB!
YOU LIKE MY HAIR
AND MY SHOES,
1106
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,000
BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO PAY FOR IT WITH
YOUR STUPID LYRICS?
1107
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,200
JESUS, WEN,
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
COME ON.
1108
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,300
GET A JOB, DICKWAD.
FUCK YOU, QUEERBURGER!
1109
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,000
WENDY! WENDY!
1110
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,300
COME ON, MAN!
1111
00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:06,200
...BUT I DON'T TALK
ABOUT THAT ANYMORE.
1112
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,600
LISTEN, THEY'RE NOT ALL
LIKE THAT, BRO.
1113
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,300
BLAZE OUT, BRO.
1114
00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:11,000
THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
1115
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,100
HERE, COME WITH ME.
LET ME SHOW YOU GUYS
SOMETHING.
1116
00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:17,900
ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK AROUND,
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
1117
00:48:17,900 --> 00:48:19,400
TITTIES.
THAT'S RIGHT.
1118
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,200
YOU GOT YOUR CHERRIES,
1119
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,300
APRICOTS,
1120
00:48:24,300 --> 00:48:26,100
TANGERINES,
1121
00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:27,200
LEMONS,
1122
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,300
CANTALOUPES,
1123
00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:32,200
OH, AND, OF COURSE,
WATERMELONS.
1124
00:48:32,300 --> 00:48:33,500
HEY, WHAT KIND OF FRUIT
ARE THOSE?
1125
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,100
THAT IS AN ASIAN PEAR.
1126
00:48:36,100 --> 00:48:40,600
HEY, CHECK IT OUT...
A GRANNY SMITH!
HA HA HA!
1127
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,500
NICE. BUT, LOOK,
ALL THESE TITTIES
AIN'T FOR FREE.
1128
00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:45,200
CHECK OUT THIS COUPLE
OVER HERE.
1129
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,100
WHO DO YOU THINK PAID
FOR THAT MEAL?
1130
00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:48,200
THE DUDE?
1131
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,100
THAT'S RIGHT.
1132
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:52,600
TAKE A LOOK OVER THERE.
WHO'S BUYING THOSE CLOTHES?
1133
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,100
DEFINITELY THE DUDE.
1134
00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:55,400
LOOK AT THIS GUY IN HERE.
1135
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,500
HUNDRED BUCKS FOR THAT ROUND,
AT LEAST.
1136
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,400
AND TRUST ME,
HE AIN'T NAILING ALL OF THEM.
1137
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,000
IS HE, AARON?
1138
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,900
I DON'T KNOW.
1139
00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:07,400
CHECK THIS OUT.
LOOK AT THE ROCK ON HER FINGER.
1140
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,400
IT'S AN ENGAGEMENT RING!
1141
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,500
AND WHO PAID FOR IT?
1142
00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:11,300
THE MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
1143
00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:13,100
AND WHEN SHE GETS HOME,
SHE'S GONNA DROP THOSE PANTIES
1144
00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:15,300
LIKE MY IPHONE DROPS CALLS.
1145
00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:17,100
LOOK, ALL THESE HOLLYWOOD
CHICKS WANT SOMETHING,
1146
00:49:17,100 --> 00:49:19,400
AND SEX IS THEIR CURRENCY.
1147
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,300
I HAVEN'T SEEN COURTNEY
DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
1148
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:22,900
WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY
HER WORK TONIGHT,
1149
00:49:22,900 --> 00:49:25,000
AND YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE?
1150
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,500
YO, DUDE, MAN,
WE'VE BEEN GETTING
SOME WORTHY TAIL LATELY.
1151
00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:29,400
MAN, I THINK YOU
SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM.
1152
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,000
YEAH, OR JUST MAKE HER
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
1153
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,100
AND THEN SEE OTHER ONES
ON THE SIDE.
1154
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:33,300
NO.
WHY NOT?
1155
00:49:33,300 --> 00:49:35,300
NO! NO, LOOK,
YOU DON'T CHEAT.
1156
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:38,100
IT'S NOT COOL, EVER,
AND THERE'S NO NEED TO.
1157
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,600
LOOK, GUYS, DON'T DATE ONE CHICK
THAT YOU'RE FAITHFUL TO.
1158
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,200
YOU DATE LOTS OF CHICKS,
YOU ROTATE THEM,
1159
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:45,400
AND YOU BE HONEST ABOUT IT.
1160
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,200
LOOK, GUYS,
I ALWAYS WANTED A SON,
1161
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,100
BUT AT THIS POINT, IT'S PROBABLY
NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.
1162
00:49:49,100 --> 00:49:52,100
I WANTED HIM TO BE PREPARED WHEN
DEALING WITH THE UNFAIR SEX,
1163
00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:55,200
SO I RECORDED SOME LITTLE
NUGGETS OF WISDOM ON THIS.
1164
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,600
BUT BE CAREFUL WITH IT,
ALL RIGHT?
1165
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,400
THERE'S A LOT THERE.
1166
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:02,200
GOOD LUCK PICKING UP CHICKS NOW,
MOTHERFUCKER, PIECE OF SHIT!
1167
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,700
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
1168
00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:07,100
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T CHEAT.
1169
00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:09,400
BUT IF YOU DO,
STICK TO YOUR FUCKIN' STORY.
1170
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,700
PAPA SMURF CALLED!
HE WANTS HIS DICK BACK!
OH, YEAH?!
1171
00:50:12,700 --> 00:50:15,200
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME,
RIGHT NOW!
1172
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:16,600
SADIE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1173
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,700
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
1174
00:50:19,700 --> 00:50:22,200
IT'S MOSTLY ABOUT BEING HONEST
AND STRAIGHT UP,
1175
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,100
YOU KNOW,
OWNING YOUR INNER PIG.
1176
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,500
Woman: STILL UPSET ABOUT
THE FIGHT WITH JOHNNY.
1177
00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:38,200
CAME HOME AND GOT DRUNK AND HAD
SEX WITH MY NEIGHBOR FRANK.
1178
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,600
IT FELT GREAT.
1179
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,200
I'M SO GLAD
I'M NOT A MAN ANYMORE.
1180
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:46,400
NEVER READ
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DIARY.
1181
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,400
GIRLS LIKE A TAKE-CHARGE GUY.
1182
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,400
SO YOU JUST LAY DOWN
WHAT YOU WANT,
1183
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,400
TELL HER YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR A GIRLFRIEND UPFRONT,
1184
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,200
AND SHE CAN'T NEVER ACCUSE YOU
OF BEING AN ASSHOLE.
1185
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,400
( moans )
YES, JOHNNY...
1186
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:01,600
OH, THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S GOOD. AHH!
1187
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:05,400
RIGHT THERE.
OHH! NO!
1188
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:06,800
WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR?
1189
00:51:10,500 --> 00:51:12,100
WHAT THE FUCK?
1190
00:51:12,100 --> 00:51:15,100
THAT'S WEIRD.
I JUST WAXED YESTERDAY.
1191
00:51:15,100 --> 00:51:18,400
NO, THIS IS NOT YOUR PUBE.
YOUR PUSSY'S BALD!
1192
00:51:19,700 --> 00:51:23,700
OH, I KNOW WHO THAT WAS.
THAT WAS--NEVER MIND.
1193
00:51:23,700 --> 00:51:28,200
NEVER GO DOWN
ON A STRIPPER YOU JUST MET.
1194
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,300
DOUBLE-BOOKING BITCH.
1195
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,300
ALTHOUGH GIRLS WANT TO FUCK
AND DO DRUGS,
1196
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:34,800
THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, THEY WANT TO GET DOWN,
1197
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,700
BUT THEY KIND OF WANT TO BE
"TRICKED" INTO IT.
1198
00:51:36,700 --> 00:51:40,300
THIS IS RETARDED.
BE STRAIGHT UP
AND HONEST WITH THEM,
1199
00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:43,300
BUT THEN GET THEM HIGH
AND WASTED AND TRICK
THEM INTO IT?
1200
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:44,700
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND
LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.
1201
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:47,300
I WISH I COULD GET DRUNK
AND HIGH FOR FREE.
1202
00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,800
YEAH. THEY SHOULD
BE THANKING US.
1203
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,800
YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS.
I'M GOING TO SEE
MY GIRLFRIEND.
1204
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,400
THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT
"COMMITTED," AARON.
1205
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,500
YOU'RE GONNA BE
AT SOME PARTY, WASTED,
1206
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:58,200
AND SOME HOTTIE'S
GONNA BE JOCKING YOU,
1207
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,400
AND YOU'RE GOING TO
SLIP UP, MAN.
1208
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,700
I'M OUT.
PFFT.
1209
00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:04,300
YO, MAN.
LATERS.
1210
00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:05,500
YOU GUYS GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS,
RIGHT?
1211
00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:06,800
JUST REMEMBER,
JUST BE STRAIGHT UP,
1212
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,500
AND TELL HER,
"WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER,
1213
00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:11,200
BUT I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
NO DINNERS, VALENTINES."
1214
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,100
SHE CAN FIND SOME OTHER SUCKER
FOR THAT.
1215
00:52:13,100 --> 00:52:15,700
HUH? I MEAN,
I'M SORRY, MAN.
1216
00:52:15,700 --> 00:52:17,300
THIS CANDY BAR
IS KICKING IN, MAN.
1217
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,300
I KNOW WE WAS TALKING ABOUT
FRUITS EARLIER, RIGHT?
1218
00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:22,100
I'M SORRY, MAN.
YOU TAPE-RECORDED IT?
1219
00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:23,800
OH, NO, THAT WAS
ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER.
1220
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:27,400
I'LL REMEMBER FOR REAL,
I'M SORRY.
1221
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,200
Woman:
? FOR YOU
1222
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,400
? I'D TRAVEL
1223
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,400
? AROUND THE WORLD
1224
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,700
? FOR YOU
1225
00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:44,700
? I'D DO
1226
00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:47,200
? ANYTHING
1227
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,500
? 'CAUSE YOU
1228
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:52,400
? ARE EVERYTHING
1229
00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:00,600
? THE FEELING IS LOVE,
THE FEELING IS LOVE ?
1230
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,200
? THE FEELING IS LOVE,
THE FEELING IS LOVE ?
1231
00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:14,200
? THE FEELING IS LOVE,
THE FEELING IS LOVE ?
1232
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,600
? WHEN YOU'RE AROUND,
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ?
1233
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,200
? THE FEELING IS LOVE
1234
00:53:53,500 --> 00:53:57,500
HEY, HUN, I'M GONNA SPLIT.
I'M REALLY HORNY.
1235
00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:00,600
DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!
1236
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:01,900
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
WHAT ELLE SAID?
1237
00:54:01,900 --> 00:54:05,600
YEAH. ELLE IS
A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN.
1238
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:09,200
I MEAN, LOOK,
HE'S REALLY NICE...
1239
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,600
AND FUNNY.
1240
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,900
WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO GO HOME YET.
1241
00:54:13,900 --> 00:54:16,400
AND HE IS KIND OF CUTE.
1242
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,400
SEE?
YOU ARE GONNA BE FINE.
1243
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:21,400
I JUST HOPE
HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE.
1244
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,900
YO, MAN, YOU WANNA
GO TO THIS PARTY LATER?
1245
00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:26,600
NO. IT'S GONNA SUCK.
IT'S JONZO'S PLACE, MAN.
1246
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,700
YO, I'M GOING HOME
TO GET SOME ASS.
1247
00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,400
YOU SHOULD TAKE HER.
SHE'S BANGING.
1248
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:33,300
MAYBE I WILL.
1249
00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,400
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
1250
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,500
THAT WE'RE GOING
TO THIS PARTY
JUST AS FRIENDS.
1251
00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:51,400
WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WE'RE SPLITTING THIS
CAB FARE...JUST AS FRIENDS.
1252
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:57,400
I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE
SUCH AN ASSHOLE?
1253
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:58,500
( humming )
1254
00:54:58,500 --> 00:54:59,500
( deep breathing )
1255
00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:00,700
( moaning )
1256
00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:05,300
COURTNEY,
I AM YOUR FATHER.
1257
00:55:05,300 --> 00:55:06,800
EW, GROSS.
1258
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,800
( laughing )
NO, BABE, IT'S JUST ME.
1259
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,300
NO, NO, NO.
YOU HAVE TO BE THE HELPLESS
PRINCESS, REMEMBER?
1260
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,500
YEAH, CAN YOU MAKE
THAT THING VIBRATE?
1261
00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:16,400
UM, SHOOT,
I DON'T THINK SO.
1262
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,800
I THINK THAT'S ONLY
THE DELUXE EDITION.
1263
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,000
YEAH.
1264
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,700
Johnny: USE HER ADDICTIONS
AGAINST HER.
1265
00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:26,500
GO AHEAD,
FUCK WITH THAT ONE, TOO.
1266
00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:27,900
ALL RIGHT.
1267
00:55:27,900 --> 00:55:29,800
Johnny:
OWN YOUR INNER PIG.
1268
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,300
HERE YOU GO.
1269
00:55:31,300 --> 00:55:33,600
NO, I'M GOOD.
I'VE GOT A DEADLINE.
1270
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:37,000
I COULD REALLY USE TOMORROW
TO CATCH UP. SO...
1271
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,300
ARE YOU FOR REAL?
I MEAN, I JUST GOT HIGH.
1272
00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:43,600
IF YOU LIKE, I CAN BLOW
EVERYTHING OFF THAT
I GOT TO DO TOMORROW,
1273
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,500
AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN,
BUT I GOTTA LET YOU KNOW
THAT AT SOME POINT,
1274
00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:51,100
WE'RE PROBABLY
GOING TO BE HIGH
AND DRUNK AND IN MY BED,
1275
00:55:51,100 --> 00:55:54,100
AND I'M GOING TO NEED
TO BUST A NUT.
NEED TO?
1276
00:55:54,100 --> 00:55:58,100
YEAH. I MEAN, I'M SORRY
FOR BEING SO HONEST
AND OPEN ABOUT IT,
1277
00:55:58,100 --> 00:56:01,700
BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT,
THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD MEET
FOR COFFEE SOMETIME
1278
00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:04,800
AND REALLY GET
TO KNOW EACH OTHER,
TAKE IT NICE AND SLOW...
1279
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,600
FINE.
1280
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,500
FINE FOR THE NUTBUSTING?
1281
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,700
WHATEVER.
1282
00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:14,900
JUST FILL UP MY DRINK, PLEASE.
1283
00:56:14,900 --> 00:56:17,800
DID YOU KNOW
THAT WHEN A MAN ORGASMS
1284
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:23,500
IT RELEASES A CHEMICAL
THAT'S 20 TIMES STRONGER
THAN A NORMAL SLEEPING PILL?
1285
00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:27,700
THIS IS SOME
LADY AND THE TRAMP SHIT
RIGHT HERE.
1286
00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:29,600
( laughing )
1287
00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:40,500
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.
YOU'VE BEEN FLAGGED
ON THE DATERBASE.
1288
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:43,500
NOBODY HAS TO KNOW.
WHAT'S A DATERBASE?
1289
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:46,100
JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME.
1290
00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:48,900
OH, YEAH. OH.
OH, YEAH.
1291
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,100
( crickets chirping,
owl hooting )
1292
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,600
BABE, WHERE DID YOU
GET THAT OUTFIT?
1293
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,400
THANK YOU.
IT'S MY APRON.
1294
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:03,900
I WORE IT
UNDER MY DRESS
LAST NIGHT
1295
00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:07,500
SO I COULD COOK
YOU BREAKFAST
IN THE MORNING.
1296
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:10,900
AH, I AM TAKING YOU OUT.
BABY, DO YOU WANNA
GO TO THE ZOO?
1297
00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:15,400
YES! I LOVE THE ZOO.
ANIMALS ARE MY FAVORITE.
1298
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:17,800
OH, ME TOO. THAT'S PERFECT.
IT'S A DONE DEAL.
WE'RE DOING IT.
1299
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:19,900
UM, BABE, CHECK OUT MY...
1300
00:57:19,900 --> 00:57:21,800
TROUSER ELEPHANT.
1301
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,800
HA HA HA.
1302
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,700
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME
PULL ITS TRUNK?
1303
00:57:27,700 --> 00:57:29,400
( elephant trumpets )
1304
00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:32,900
SO...YOU GONNA TAKE ME
TO BREAKFAST?
1305
00:57:32,900 --> 00:57:35,600
( laughs ) BREAKFAST?!
AIN'T NO BREAKFAST,
BABY.
1306
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:38,700
I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT.
YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT,
RIGHT?
1307
00:57:38,700 --> 00:57:40,800
YEAH. EVENTUALLY.
1308
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,900
HEY, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH MY PERFORMANCE.
THAT WAS THE COKE.
1309
00:57:43,900 --> 00:57:46,800
ANYWAYS, IF WANT SOMEBODY
TO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER
ALL THE TIME
1310
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,600
AND CALL YOU UP EVERY DAY,
1311
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,000
THAT AIN'T ME.
THAT'S BOYFRIEND
TERRITORY.
1312
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,800
LOOK, I'M JUST HUNGRY.
1313
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,900
YOU DON'T GOTTA BE
SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
1314
00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:58,600
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING
TO SOME ASSHOLE SCHOOL
OR SOMETHING.
1315
00:57:58,700 --> 00:57:59,900
PSHH. WHATEVER.
1316
00:57:59,900 --> 00:58:01,700
DICK.
1317
00:58:01,700 --> 00:58:03,600
Johnny: IF SHE'S ASKING
FOR TOO MUCH CAB FARE,
1318
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,500
TAKE A TWENTY OUT OF HER PURSE
WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM
1319
00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:07,000
AND GIVE IT TO HER.
1320
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,700
IT'S NOT STEALING
IF YOU GIVE IT BACK.
1321
00:58:09,700 --> 00:58:11,600
DUDE, THIS STUFF IS GOLD!
1322
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,000
HEY, AARON,
THOUGHT YOU'D BE
MARRIED OFF BY NOW.
1323
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,900
UM, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL.
IT COULD HAPPEN.
1324
00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,100
UH, JUST KEEPING
MY OPTIONS OPEN FOR NOW.
1325
00:58:18,100 --> 00:58:19,600
YEAH,
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAX?
HOW'S IT GOING?
1326
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,100
OH, MAN,
SHIT WENT PERFECT, YO.
1327
00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:23,600
IT'S JUST ONE THING,
THOUGH, MAN...
1328
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:24,900
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
1329
00:58:24,900 --> 00:58:27,000
WITH THE COKE
AND THE CONDOMS, MAN...
1330
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,600
I KIND OF HAD A LITTLE BIT
OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.
1331
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:33,600
REALLY?
WHAT, ARE YOU GAY NOW?
1332
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:37,600
ALL YOU NEED IS...
ONE OF THESE.
1333
00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:41,100
WHAT'S THAT, MAN?
1334
00:58:41,100 --> 00:58:45,500
UGH. DUDE,
WHY'S IT ALL SLIPPERY?
WHAT IS THAT?
1335
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,500
THAT'S JUST LUBE.
IT'S MY COCK RING.
1336
00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:49,700
OHH!
WHAT THE FUCK!
ARE YOU KIDDING?
1337
00:58:49,700 --> 00:58:52,700
GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU,
NO MATTER WHAT STATE I'M IN,
1338
00:58:52,700 --> 00:58:56,600
IT KEEPS ME TURGID,
AND IT ALWAYS,
ALWAYS GET'S ME OFF.
1339
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:58,700
YO, I PUT THAT SHIT
ON MY NOSE, YO!
1340
00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:00,100
AND WHAT THE FUCK
IS "TURGID"?
1341
00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:02,200
"TURGID" MEANS HARD.
HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
1342
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,600
OH, I'M GONNA USE THAT SHIT.
"GIRL, YOU GOT MY DICK TURGID."
1343
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,700
AND I KNOW WITH
ALL THE ALCOHOL
AND THE DRUGS,
1344
00:59:07,700 --> 00:59:11,800
SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH,
SO I ALWAYS KEEP ONE
OF THESE BABIES AROUND.
1345
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,800
THOSE ARE LIKE 50 BUCKS
EACH. EVERY TIME?
1346
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,700
JESUS, FUCKFACE.
1347
00:59:15,700 --> 00:59:19,500
LOOK, YOU GENTLY
TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX,
YOU CAREFULLY CUT IT OPEN.
1348
00:59:19,500 --> 00:59:22,700
EVERY TIME YOU USE IT,
YOU PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER,
GOOD AS NEW.
1349
00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:24,000
OH, YEAH. ECONOMICAL.
1350
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,800
YEAH,
BUT WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS?
1351
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,500
MAN, I HATE CONDOMS, MAN.
1352
00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:30,200
IT'S LIKE EATING A SNICKERS
WITH THE WRAPPER ON.
1353
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,200
LOOK, THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES
YOU KIND OF HAVE TO, BOYS.
1354
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,100
FUCK THAT.
JUST DO WHAT I DO.
1355
00:59:34,100 --> 00:59:37,000
YOU CUT A HOLE
RIGHT IN THE TIP
OF THE CONDOM, RIGHT?
1356
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,900
JUST LIKE THAT.
1357
00:59:38,900 --> 00:59:41,100
AND IT WEARS AWAY
AS YOU GET GOING,
THEN IT BREAKS.
1358
00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:43,000
THE BEAUTY OF IT IS,
WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN,
1359
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,800
IT STILL LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE WEARING ONE.
1360
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,000
I JUST TOLD HER IT RIPPED
BECAUSE MY DICK'S TOO BIG.
1361
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:52,200
DUDE, THAT IS FUCKED UP
ON SO MANY LEVELS,
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN.
1362
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,800
WHAT?
1363
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:55,200
"WHAT?"
1364
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,200
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
1365
00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,800
ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE
HAVE HERPES.
1366
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:02,200
ONE IN FOUR WARTS.
1367
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:06,900
THROW IN CHLAMYDIA,
CRABS, U.T.I.,
1368
01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:10,600
THEN YOU RAMP IT UP
BECAUSE WE'RE IN HOLLYWOOD...
1369
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,100
AND THE CHANCES
THAT ONE OF THESE CHICKS
1370
01:00:12,100 --> 01:00:16,800
THAT YOU GUYS ARE TAKING HOME
HAS "SOMETHING" IS ABOUT...
1371
01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:21,800
72%.
1372
01:00:25,300 --> 01:00:27,300
GRETCHEN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
1373
01:00:27,300 --> 01:00:31,000
OH, I'M PUTTING
A FABRIC SOFTENER SHEET
DOWN MY PANTS
1374
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,100
SO LATER TONIGHT
WHEN I TAKE MY JEANS OFF,
1375
01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:36,000
IT'LL BE NICE AND FRESH
DOWN THERE.
1376
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,600
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
1377
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:38,800
RIGHT?
1378
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,700
DOES THAT MAKE
YOUR SKIN SOFT?
1379
01:00:40,700 --> 01:00:43,800
OH, GOD, I HOPE IT DOESN'T
MAKE HIS DICK SOFTER! UGH!
1380
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,800
I GOT A DATE TONIGHT.
LET ME TRY SOME OF THAT.
1381
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,600
SO ARE YOU GIRLS ALL SET
FOR THE INITIATION?
1382
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,200
YEAH, WE ARE.
1383
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:53,000
YEAH. OH. CAN I STILL JOIN
IF I HAVE GOT A BOYFRIEND?
1384
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,600
HE BETTER GO DOWNY ON ME
AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE!
1385
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,600
NO. THAT DEFIES
THE WHOLE POINT.
1386
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,000
WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE
USING HIM FOR SOMETHING.
1387
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,200
I JUST LIKE HIM.
I LIKE THE WAY
HIS HAIR SMELLS,
1388
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:08,300
I LIKE HIS SMILE,
I LIKE WAKING UP NEXT
TO HIM, I LIKE HIS COCK.
1389
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:10,800
COURTNEY, COURTNEY,
YOU CANNOT SEE THIS GUY
ANYMORE.
1390
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,100
WHAT? WHY?
1391
01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:14,000
BECAUSE HE WILL
DICK YOU OVER.
1392
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,200
WE JUST DON'T WANT YOU
TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE
WE MADE.
1393
01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:19,000
IF IT'S SEX YOU WANT,
WE'LL FIND A GUY FOR YOU.
1394
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,800
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
DO YOU WANT A NERD,
DO YOU WANT A BAD BOY?
1395
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:23,100
WHAT, AND I JUST FUCK THEM?
1396
01:01:23,100 --> 01:01:25,000
FIRST, YOU HAVE
TO EXPLAIN TO HIM
1397
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,700
THAT HE CAN'T
CALL YOU AFTERWARDS,
1398
01:01:26,700 --> 01:01:28,300
AND IF HE SEES YOU
OUT SOMEWHERE,
1399
01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:30,200
HE'S GOTTA WALK
IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
1400
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,700
THAT'S CRAZY. I REALLY,
REALLY LIKE THIS GUY.
1401
01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:35,300
I KNOW, BUT IT'S
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
1402
01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:37,000
NOW, YVONNE,
1403
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,900
DID THE DOCTOR SET A DATE
FOR YOUR IMPROVEMENTS YET?
1404
01:01:38,900 --> 01:01:40,300
YEAH. THREE WEEKS.
1405
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:41,900
I KNEW HE WOULD
DRAG IT OUT A BIT.
1406
01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:43,300
A FEW DAYS IN OUTPATIENT,
1407
01:01:43,300 --> 01:01:44,800
AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE
TO SEE HIM AGAIN!
1408
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:45,900
RIGHT ON.
1409
01:02:04,300 --> 01:02:05,700
( knock on door )
1410
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,000
HEY.
1411
01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:12,700
AH-AH-AH.
1412
01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:14,200
( sighs )
1413
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:27,500
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
BY YOURSELF?
1414
01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:29,700
OH, MY GOD, YOU REMIND ME
OF BEETLEJUICE.
1415
01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:31,200
REMEMBER THOSE LEGS
THAT WAS SITTING
BY THEMSELVES?
1416
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,300
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
1417
01:02:32,300 --> 01:02:33,800
WHERE YOU KNOW ME FROM?
1418
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,400
DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE.
NASTY.
1419
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,100
MAN, WHAT? MAN,
THIS LOOKS LIKE SOME--
1420
01:02:38,100 --> 01:02:40,300
HEY, THIS AIN'T EVEN TRUE.
THEY TRYING TO SET ME UP.
1421
01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:43,900
THEY TRYING TO SAY
I DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED,
BUT THAT EVEN TRUE.
1422
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,300
OHH!
1423
01:02:49,300 --> 01:02:50,300
OH, FUCK!
1424
01:02:50,300 --> 01:02:52,000
OH, SHIT.
OH, MAN, SORRY, MAN.
1425
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,300
FUCK.
1426
01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:55,300
I KNOW THAT GUY.
1427
01:02:57,900 --> 01:02:59,700
DID YOU DO SOME?
1428
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,900
NO.
HE JUST CAME BY TONIGHT.
1429
01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:03,400
THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE.
1430
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:05,000
I KNOW.
1431
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,200
ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM?
1432
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,100
NO.
1433
01:03:08,100 --> 01:03:10,900
I JUST GET SO HORNY.
1434
01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:13,800
WE ALL GET A LITTLE BIT
HORMONAL SOMETIMES,
1435
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,400
BUT, NEXT TIME,
SPECIFY AN AMOUNT,
1436
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:20,700
OR HE'S GONNA HAVE YOU
WHORING YOURSELF OUT
FOR LITTLE KIBBLES, OKAY?
1437
01:03:20,700 --> 01:03:22,100
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
1438
01:03:22,100 --> 01:03:25,500
WENDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU
A LITTLE BIT LATER?
1439
01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:28,000
OKAY.
1440
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,800
( sighs )
1441
01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:34,000
OKAY, LADIES,
AS YOU KNOW,
1442
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,500
YVONNE WILL BE GETTING
HER ENHANCEMENTS THIS WEEK,
THUS ELIGIBLE FOR MEMBERSHIP.
1443
01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:40,200
( cheering )
1444
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,000
WHAT DAY, YVONNE?
1445
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,900
HE SAYS I GO IN ON FRIDAY,
AND I'LL BE OUT BY SATURDAY.
1446
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,100
SO SATURDAY NIGHT.
DOES THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE?
1447
01:03:47,100 --> 01:03:48,300
YEAH.
YES.
YES.
1448
01:03:48,300 --> 01:03:49,800
OOH OOH!
1449
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:05,200
15 SECONDS.
EXCELLENT WORK, MAX.
CONGRATS ALL AROUND.
1450
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,200
IT'S NICE TO SEE
YOUR STABLES DEVELOPING.
I'M UP TO FOUR NOW.
1451
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,500
YOU STILL TAKING DRUGS
TO THAT STRIPPER CHICK?
YUP.
1452
01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:13,100
SHE'S FUCKING YOU NOW RIGHT?
LIKE I'M JOHNNY DEPP.
1453
01:04:13,100 --> 01:04:16,300
NICE. AND NOW CAN BRING
AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE
AS YOU LIKE.
1454
01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,000
DUDE, I'M GETTING LAID
FOR DUB-SACKS!
1455
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:19,000
SWEET!
1456
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,800
UM, WHERE'S COURTNEY?
1457
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,500
SHE SAID SHE CAN'T
COME ANYMORE.
1458
01:04:23,500 --> 01:04:25,200
WHY NOT?
1459
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,300
BECAUSE SHE HAS
A BOYFRIEND NOW,
1460
01:04:27,300 --> 01:04:30,800
AND SHE SAID IT WOULD
BE UNFAIR TO COME
TO A MAN-HATING GROUP.
1461
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:32,500
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHATEVER.
1462
01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:34,400
WE DON'T HATE MEN.
1463
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,200
WE JUST KEEP THEM
ON TASK, SWEETIE.
1464
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:37,400
SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, AARON?
1465
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,000
I'VE BEEN DABBLING,
1466
01:04:39,100 --> 01:04:40,900
BUT THERE'S REALLY
ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME.
1467
01:04:40,900 --> 01:04:42,500
YEAH, WHEN SHE'S IN TOWN.
1468
01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:43,500
OH!
OH HO HO!
1469
01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:44,900
WHAT?
1470
01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:46,100
IT'S THAT COURTNEY
AGAIN, RIGHT?
1471
01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:47,200
YEAH.
1472
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,000
DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT
YOUR OTHER CHICKS?
1473
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,900
UH, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING
I LIKE TO BRING UP.
1474
01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:53,100
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
ROTATING HER, RIGHT?
1475
01:04:53,100 --> 01:04:54,600
WHAT?
1476
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,500
HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE HER?
1477
01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:58,900
I DON'T KNOW, LIKE TWO,
THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK.
1478
01:04:58,900 --> 01:05:01,300
AARON,
YOU HAVE TO ROTATE THEM.
1479
01:05:01,300 --> 01:05:03,000
SHE'LL BE BACK.
1480
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,000
I HOPE SO.
I REALLY LIKED HER.
1481
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,100
I REALLY LIKED HER, TOO.
1482
01:05:06,100 --> 01:05:07,600
I THINK SHE'S
REALLY INTO HIM.
1483
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,200
AARON, RIGHT?
SHORT, DUMB-LOOKING?
1484
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,500
( laughter )
1485
01:05:11,500 --> 01:05:14,100
THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS,
HE'S A MAN,
1486
01:05:14,100 --> 01:05:15,600
AND HE'S HARDWIRED TO CHEAT.
1487
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,500
OH, I THINK
HE ALREADY DID.
1488
01:05:17,500 --> 01:05:19,300
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
1489
01:05:19,300 --> 01:05:22,200
I SAW LAST WEEK HIM AT A PARTY
ALL OVER SOME UGLY-ASS GIRL.
1490
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,600
LAST SATURDAY AT ROSS'S?
YEAH.
1491
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,900
WAS THAT GUY MAX THERE?
YEAH.
1492
01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:29,100
( warbling sounds )
1493
01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:31,000
MY EARRING COLLECTION
IS GROWING DAILY.
1494
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,300
AH, YES.
THE "LEAVE BEHIND."
1495
01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:35,500
DO THEY MEAN TO LEAVE
THIS SHIT AT YOUR APARTMENT
1496
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:38,300
OR ARE THEY JUST TOO HUNGOVER
TO REMEMBER? WHO KNOWS?
1497
01:05:38,300 --> 01:05:43,300
IT'S LIKE HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW
THAT THEY LEAVE NOT WEARING
THEIR OWN PANTIES?
1498
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:45,000
THAT SHIT IS DUMB!
1499
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,400
LET ME SEE THIS HAIRCLIP.
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
1500
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:50,300
I NEEDED IT ONE MORNING,
AND THE GUY I WAS WITH
GAVE IT TO ME.
1501
01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:51,500
MAX?
1502
01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:53,500
THE GUY
THAT JIZZED ON ME?
YEAH.
1503
01:05:53,500 --> 01:05:56,100
THIS IS MY HAIRCLIP.
I WAS WITH HIM LAST WEEK.
1504
01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:57,400
YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT
WITH HIM?
1505
01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:58,900
WE JUST HOOKED UP
A COUPLE OF TIMES.
1506
01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:00,300
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE SEEING HIM.
1507
01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:02,000
I TOLD YOU
THAT I LIKED HIM.
1508
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,500
WHATEVER.
NOW YOU OWN HIM.
1509
01:06:03,500 --> 01:06:06,200
JASMINE! YVONNE!
JASMINE! YVONNE!
1510
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,500
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
1511
01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:09,300
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
1512
01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:12,600
WAIT A MINUTE.
IS THIS THE MAX
THAT ELLE FLAGGED?
1513
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,600
Elle:
THAT ASSHOLE?!
1514
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,200
THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!
1515
01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,000
WHY DO WE EVEN
KEEP A DATERBASE
1516
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,200
IF YOU GUYS
CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW IT?
1517
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,500
THE WHOLE POINT
OF THE T.O.B. CLUB
1518
01:06:19,500 --> 01:06:21,900
IS FOR SHIT LIKE THIS
NOT TO HAPPEN.
1519
01:06:21,900 --> 01:06:24,500
COURTNEY'S DUDE
IS CHEATING ON HER.
1520
01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:26,400
YOU'RE GETTING RIPPED OFF
BY YOUR COKE GUY,
1521
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,100
AND THE TWO OF YOU
1522
01:06:28,100 --> 01:06:30,300
ARE IN SOME SORT OF
T.O.B. CERTIFIED
SCUMBAG'S STABLE.
1523
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:31,500
SCUM!
1524
01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:33,200
WE HAVE STABLES.
1525
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:36,600
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE
CALLED STABLE BOYS, OKAY?
1526
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:40,100
THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
COULD ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG?
1527
01:06:40,100 --> 01:06:41,200
( crying )
I'M PREGNANT!
1528
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,000
OH, SWEETIE!
1529
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,000
IT'S OKAY.
1530
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:46,200
ARE YOU GONNA HAVE IT?
1531
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,200
I DON'T THINK SO.
1532
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,700
GOOD.
GOOD.
1533
01:06:49,700 --> 01:06:53,100
DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT A THING.
1534
01:06:53,100 --> 01:06:55,300
REALLY?
YEAH.
1535
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:57,400
WE'LL FIX
ALL OF THIS TOGETHER.
1536
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:01,200
NOW, HOW MANY MEN
HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH?
TWO OR THREE.
1537
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:05,000
GRETCHEN.
NOT IN THE LAST WEEK,
GRETCHEN,
1538
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,400
THE LAST THREE MONTHS?
1539
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:11,100
MAYBE SEVEN OR EIGHT.
OH, PLUS THE DRUG GUY.
1540
01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:12,500
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
1541
01:07:12,500 --> 01:07:15,400
Both: ABORTION EXTORTION.
1542
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,100
"IN 1934,
1543
01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:23,100
"HITLER ELIMINATED ALL
OF HIS OPPOSITION IN ONE NIGHT.
1544
01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:25,500
IT WAS CALLED
'THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES.'"
1545
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:28,500
THIS FRIDAY,
OUR TIME WILL COME.
1546
01:07:28,500 --> 01:07:30,200
WE'RE GOING TO TEACH
THESE CRETINS A LESSON
1547
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:32,500
THEY'RE NEVER GONNA FORGET.
YEAH, WE WILL.
1548
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:34,400
THERE'S SOMETHING
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
1549
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,800
WE MET ONE OF THESE PESTS
THREE MONTHS AGO
1550
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:38,000
WHEN WE GOT
THOSE T-SHIRTS MADE,
1551
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,600
AND HE WAS A BIG FAT LOSER.
1552
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,500
NOW HIM AND HIS BUDDIES
ARE WREAKING HAVOC ON US! HOW?
1553
01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:48,200
YES, IT FEELS LIKE
SOMEBODY ELSE
IS BEHIND THIS.
1554
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,400
ANOTHER GIRL GANG?
1555
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:51,300
( gasps )
THE ECHO PARK PUTAS?
1556
01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:52,500
SILVERLAKE SKANKS?
1557
01:07:52,500 --> 01:07:53,700
THE THREE ONE HOES?
1558
01:07:53,700 --> 01:07:55,500
THE LOS FELIZ LESBOS?
1559
01:07:55,500 --> 01:07:59,100
WHO KNOWS?
BUT BY SACRIFICING
ONE OF OUR OWN,
1560
01:07:59,100 --> 01:08:02,300
THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE
THAT WE WE'RE NOT
PLAYING AROUND.
1561
01:08:02,300 --> 01:08:07,600
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
SEEMS FAMILIAR.
1562
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,200
IS IT A MAN,
A PLAYER OUT FOR REVENGE?
1563
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:14,800
SLICE, GRETCHEN, ELLE,
I WANT YOU TO HIT THE STREETS.
1564
01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:17,100
TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE,
BUST SOME BALLS...
1565
01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:18,800
SUCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO,
1566
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:21,300
BUT FIND OUT
WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS.
1567
01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:22,800
WE WILL.
GOOD.
1568
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:24,200
THEN TASSELING IN,
NEXT SATURDAY,
1569
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,500
YVONNE WILL GET HER BOOBS,
1570
01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:28,600
COURTNEY WILL BE BACK
IN THE GANG,
1571
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,500
AND THESE FOOLS WILL RUE
THE DAY THAT THEY CROSSED US.
1572
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:32,700
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
1573
01:08:32,700 --> 01:08:34,200
NIGHT OF THE LONG NAILS.
1574
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:36,500
( cheering )
1575
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:41,500
WHY ARE WE DRINKING BRANDY?
1576
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,700
'CAUSE CHURCHILL
USED TO DRINK IT.
1577
01:08:43,700 --> 01:08:47,600
OH, YEAH. THAT JAMAICAN GUY
YOU USED TO DATE.
HE WAS SO HOT.
1578
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,100
LOVED HIM.
1579
01:08:49,100 --> 01:08:50,300
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
1580
01:08:50,300 --> 01:08:53,200
AND? LOOK, ALL I KNOW
IS THAT IT WORKS,
1581
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,800
AND YOUR CLIENTS
LOVE IT, RIGHT?
1582
01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:57,400
THEY'RE PATIENTS.
1583
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:01,500
YES, THE RESULTS
ARE IMPRESSIVE.
1584
01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:03,500
THANK YOU.
1585
01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,100
BUT BEFORE YOU GO,
YOU'RE A BIT OF
LADIES MAN, RIGHT?
1586
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,400
YEAH, I HAVE MY MOMENTS.
1587
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,500
I HAVE A BIT OF
A PROBLEM HERE.
1588
01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:14,100
EVERY NOW AND THEN
I MEET A GIRL
THAT I LIKE,
1589
01:09:14,100 --> 01:09:16,500
ONE THAT SEEMS ALMOST
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE,
1590
01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:19,400
THEN I DO SOME WORK ON HER,
AND SHE DISAPPEARS.
1591
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:22,200
MM-HMM. SO YOU THINK
YOU'RE BEING PLAYED?
1592
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:25,600
NOT SURE, BUT THERE IS
THIS ONE GIRL...
1593
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:29,300
SHE'S VERY NICE TO ME.
TOO NICE.
1594
01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:32,200
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO...
1595
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,700
IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
1596
01:09:36,700 --> 01:09:38,400
OH, IT'S SO GOOD
TO SEE YOU, TOO, BABY.
1597
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,300
YOU'RE HUNGRY RIGHT?
1598
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,800
I AM STARVING.
I LOVE THIS PLACE.
1599
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,600
I AM SO HAPPY
THAT YOU PICKED IT.
1600
01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:46,600
WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU
AT THE MEETINGS.
1601
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,400
OH, MY GOD,
I MISS YOU GUYS, TOO!
1602
01:09:51,500 --> 01:09:52,800
STOP.
1603
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:54,800
NOW THERE'S AN ARMY OF TWO.
1604
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,900
TAKE CARE OF THEM, SUGAR.
OKAY.
1605
01:09:57,900 --> 01:10:00,700
AND YOU, LET'S SEE
THOSE PRIVATES ON PARADE.
1606
01:10:00,700 --> 01:10:02,900
I LIKE HOW YOU'RE
SHOWCASING THAT PUSSY.
1607
01:10:02,900 --> 01:10:04,900
LOOKIN' GOOD.
( spanks )
1608
01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:09,400
WHOA. THAT SKIRT'S
WAY TOO LONG.
1609
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:11,400
COME ON.
BE ALL YOU CAN BE.
1610
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,300
LET'S SEE THESE.
THE NIPPLES ARE JUST
RIGHT AT THE EDGE.
1611
01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:16,600
GOOD, SHOW THOSE GIRLS OFF.
1612
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:19,500
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.
ARE YOU READY
FOR YOUR MISSION?
1613
01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:20,500
DA, GRETCHEN.
1614
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:22,400
HANDLE IT.
1615
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:26,400
I SEE YOU BROUGHT OUT
THE BIG GUNS.
SHAKE THOSE BABIES.
1616
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,300
SLICE MY GLAMAZON.
TURN AROUND.
1617
01:10:30,300 --> 01:10:34,700
LET'S TIGHTEN UP THAT T-BACK.
IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE.
1618
01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:39,300
EXCELLENT JOB, GRETCHEN.
1619
01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:41,400
THANK YOU.
LET ME SEE THOSE TEARS.
1620
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,200
( crying )
1621
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:45,200
TOO MUCH?
1622
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,300
NO, EXCELLENT.
1623
01:10:47,300 --> 01:10:49,900
IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS
COURTNEY SITUATION.
1624
01:10:49,900 --> 01:10:54,400
WENDY, YOU KNOW YOU DON'T
NEED TO DO THIS, RIGHT?
YOU'RE MY SISTERS.
1625
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,800
I COULDN'T ASK YOU
TO DO ANYTHING
I WOULDN'T DO MYSELF.
1626
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,600
THIS IS WAR...
AND WE'RE THE SEX BOMBS.
1627
01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,800
( crying )
1628
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:05,400
I'M SORRY,
ARE YOU OK?
1629
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:09,500
NO. MY PHONE DIED,
AND I REALLY NEED
TO SEND AN EMAIL,
1630
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:11,400
OR MY BOSS IS
GONNA FIRE ME.
1631
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:13,900
THAT'S OKAY.
I LIVE RIGHT HERE.
1632
01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:15,400
YOU CAN TOTALLY
USE MY COMPUTER.
1633
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:16,700
REALLY?
1634
01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:17,700
OF COURSE.
1635
01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:20,500
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
1636
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,700
REMEMBER WHEN YOU
FIXED MY TRANSMISSION?
1637
01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:28,300
WELL, I'M PREGNANT.
1638
01:11:28,300 --> 01:11:30,000
I DON'T WANT
A KID WITH YOU.
1639
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,400
ME NEITHER.
1640
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,700
HI.
1641
01:11:32,700 --> 01:11:34,500
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
ARE YOU CRAZY?
1642
01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:37,400
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
MY WIFE IS UPSTAIRS.
1643
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:40,000
WELL, I SUGGEST YOU TELL HER
TO COME DOWN HERE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
1644
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,300
I'M PREGNANT.
SHH!
1645
01:11:42,300 --> 01:11:45,300
SO, ANYWAY, I NEED MONEY
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.
1646
01:11:45,300 --> 01:11:48,900
NO, NO, NO. YOU SAID
TO ME THAT YOU ARE USING
CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS.
1647
01:11:48,900 --> 01:11:52,600
UGH, AZIS, I TOLD YOU,
IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK
ALL THE TIME.
1648
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:54,800
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT'S NOT MY BABY.
1649
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,800
I GOT SIX WHITE BITCHES
ON DECK RIGHT NOW.
1650
01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:58,500
I GOT BABY MOMMA'S
FROM HERE TO DETROIT.
1651
01:11:58,500 --> 01:11:59,500
YOU AIN'T SAYING NOTHING.
1652
01:11:59,500 --> 01:12:00,700
HOW MUCH TO SUCK IT OUT?
1653
01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:02,400
WANNA SPLIT IT?
OKAY.
1654
01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:03,900
JONZO?
YEAH?
1655
01:12:03,900 --> 01:12:06,400
JONZO, CAN I TALK TO YOU?
WE'RE KIND OF BUSY HERE.
1656
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:08,500
WELL, CAN YOU TAKE FIVE,
'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT.
1657
01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:09,900
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF REHEARSAL.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1658
01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:11,000
DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ME?
1659
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:12,900
UM...YEAH.
1660
01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:14,900
THE BATHROOM
AT THE BURGUNDY?
1661
01:12:14,900 --> 01:12:16,400
YEAH, THE FUCKING BATHROOM
AT THE BURGUNDY.
1662
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:17,800
I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
1663
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:19,400
I'M PREGNANT,
THAT'S HOW I'M DOING.
1664
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:21,500
PREGNANT?
THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
1665
01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:23,000
THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD.
1666
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:24,900
NO, ACTUALLY,
A GIFT FROM YOU.
1667
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:28,400
$450. WELL,
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
1668
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:31,600
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING,
DO YOU THINK WE COULD
WORK SOMETHING OUT?
1669
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,400
450? MORE LIKE 199!
1670
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,400
SHIT, YOU WANNA FUCK
WITH MISS KIM RIGHT THERE
ON CRENSHAW AND FLORENCE.
1671
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:38,600
HOW THE HELL
DO YOU KNOW IT'S MINE?
1672
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:39,800
'CAUSE YOU CAME IN ME!
1673
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,700
I FUCKING REMEMBER
THAT NIGHT.
1674
01:12:41,700 --> 01:12:43,700
I ASKED IF I COULD COME,
YOU SAID YES, I COULD COME.
1675
01:12:43,700 --> 01:12:45,000
ON MY TITS!
1676
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,300
FOUR HUNDRED
AND FUCKING FIFTY DOLLARS!
1677
01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:48,600
I DON'T HAVE
THAT MONEY ON ME.
1678
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,000
YOU SHOULD SAY THAT.
1679
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,600
WHAT THE FUCK AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT?
1680
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,400
SHE GOT THIS NAIL SALON
OUT FRONT, RIGHT,
1681
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:55,400
BUT YOU GO TO THE BACK,
SHE GOT THE ABORTION CLINIC.
1682
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:57,900
COME ON.
GET THE HELLS
FROM OUT OF HERE.
1683
01:12:57,900 --> 01:13:00,000
GET YOUR NAILS DONE
AT THE SAME TIME.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
1684
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,400
PEDICURE, JUMP OFF,
EVERYTHING.
1685
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:02,700
IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.
1686
01:13:02,700 --> 01:13:04,600
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
1687
01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:06,600
HE'S A FERTILE
LITTLE FUCKER, OKAY?
1688
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:07,900
YOU'RE PREGNANT?
1689
01:13:07,900 --> 01:13:10,600
SHIT. YOU THINK I GOT
THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAID
1690
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:12,000
FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT?
1691
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,800
FUCK! FUCK!
1692
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,600
AFTER THAT NIGHT,
I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU.
1693
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,600
YEAH, I'VE BEEN
TAKING THE TRAIN,
1694
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,400
BUT THAT'S NOT
WHAT I'M HERE ABOUT.
1695
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:21,800
YOU SEE, I'M PREGNANT.
1696
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:24,400
DON'T BE UPSET, DARLING.
THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS.
1697
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:27,100
YOU CAN MOVE IN WITH ME.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
LOTS OF CHILDREN,
1698
01:13:27,100 --> 01:13:28,600
BIG FAMILY, STRONG SONS.
1699
01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:30,500
I GOTTA GO.
1700
01:13:30,500 --> 01:13:33,800
I'VE HAD THIS ONE FANTASY
FOR THE LONGEST TIME.
1701
01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:37,900
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
1702
01:13:37,900 --> 01:13:40,700
OH, COME FUCKING ON!
1703
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:48,500
( sighs )
MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS.
1704
01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:52,900
YOU KNOW,
IT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL.
JUST SAYING.
1705
01:13:52,900 --> 01:13:56,000
THANK GOD.
( sighs )
1706
01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,100
I NEED A DRINK.
DO YOU HAVE ANY VODKA?
1707
01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:00,500
YEAH.
YEAH?
1708
01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,600
YEAH, LET ME
GO GET SOME.
1709
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:04,600
AND, YOU KNOW,
WE LOVE YOU TO DEATH,
1710
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,100
AND IF ANYTHING
WERE TO HAPPEN,
1711
01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,100
YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS
COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS,
1712
01:14:08,100 --> 01:14:09,100
AND WE'D ALWAYS
BE THERE FOR YOU.
1713
01:14:09,100 --> 01:14:10,800
THANK YOU.
1714
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:14,400
MEMORY FOAM.
I LOVE IT.
1715
01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:16,200
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON A GOOD NIGHT IN BED.
1716
01:14:16,200 --> 01:14:17,800
DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE?
1717
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:19,900
NO. NO, NO, NO.
BY ALL MEANS.
1718
01:14:19,900 --> 01:14:22,000
LET ME
GO GET AN ASHTRAY.
1719
01:14:29,700 --> 01:14:31,000
HEY.
1720
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:32,400
HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
1721
01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:34,000
I'M ALL RIGHT,
BUT, I DON'T KNOW,
1722
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,000
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS
ONE IS BIGGER.
1723
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:37,800
YOU CAN'T TELL ANYTHING
UNTIL THE CAST IS OFF.
1724
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:39,000
THEY'RE GONNA LOOK
SO HOT.
1725
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,600
THEY'LL SETTLE IN SOON,
CUTIE.
1726
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:42,600
YOU PROMISE?
MM-HMM.
1727
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:46,700
OKAY, YOU GUYS,
LET'S GET THIS SHOW
ON THE ROAD.
1728
01:14:46,700 --> 01:14:49,500
HEY, MAX. YEAH.
1729
01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:51,900
PUT HIM ON SPEAKER.
YEAH.
1730
01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:53,800
Max: I WAS THINKING WE COULD
HANG OUT TONIGHT, BABE.
1731
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:56,000
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I WAS THINKING
THE EXACT SAME THING.
1732
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,200
ALL RIGHT, SO, YEAH,
YOU KNOW, WE'LL MEET UP,
1733
01:14:58,200 --> 01:15:00,600
AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN
TONIGHT, BABY.
1734
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:02,700
MOTHERFUCKER,
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS DOUCHEBAG.
1735
01:15:02,700 --> 01:15:04,500
OH, WAIT, CAN YOU BRING
YOUR FRIEND GLEN?
1736
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:06,600
OH, YEAH, I'LL BRING HIM.
I'M LOOKING AT HIS BIG ASS NOW,
1737
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:08,100
MAKING A TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICH.
1738
01:15:08,100 --> 01:15:09,800
Jasmine:
OKAY, BIG KISS.
ALL RIGHT.
1739
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:11,200
THAT'S JASMINE?
YVONNE'S FRIEND?
1740
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:12,600
THAT'S
A DANGEROUS GAME, MAN.
1741
01:15:12,700 --> 01:15:14,900
NAH, MAN, LOOK,
ACTUALLY IT'S COOL
1742
01:15:14,900 --> 01:15:17,600
BECAUSE YVONNE'S
IN THE HOSPITAL
GETTING HER TITS DONE.
1743
01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,800
NICE ROTATION, BRO.
1744
01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:23,100
AND SHE'S BRINGING
A FRIEND JUST FOR YOU!
1745
01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:25,100
WHAT?!
YEAH, MAN!
1746
01:15:25,100 --> 01:15:27,700
YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL.
WHAT COLOR IS THAT?
1747
01:15:27,700 --> 01:15:29,800
I'M A DIRTY BLONDE.
1748
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:32,700
OHH. HEY, WOULD YOU
LIKE ANOTHER DRINK?
1749
01:15:32,700 --> 01:15:35,700
I CAN'T TONIGHT, SWEETIE.
IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH.
1750
01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,200
NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T
EVEN MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
1751
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:38,700
OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.
1752
01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:39,800
THAT'S NOT WHAT
WAS TALKING ABOUT.
1753
01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:40,900
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR EVERYTHING.
1754
01:15:40,900 --> 01:15:42,200
UM, CAN I USE YOUR RESTROOM?
1755
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:45,500
YEAH. UH,
IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
1756
01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:58,100
( beeping )
1757
01:15:59,300 --> 01:16:00,300
OHH.
1758
01:16:00,300 --> 01:16:02,700
( sighs )
1759
01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:04,700
ARE--ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH, IT'S JUST MY MOM.
1760
01:16:04,700 --> 01:16:07,900
MY STUPID KID'S ACTING UP,
AND I HAVE TO GO AND SEE IT.
1761
01:16:07,900 --> 01:16:09,300
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
YOU WERE A MOM.
1762
01:16:09,300 --> 01:16:11,100
I KNOW, RIGHT?
LOOK AT ME.
1763
01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:12,900
YOU'RE WAY TOO HOT
TO BE A MOM.
1764
01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:14,600
EVERYBODY SAYS THAT.
1765
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,500
I KNOW. I MEAN,
I'M A GOOD MOM.
1766
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:17,800
I SEE MY KID EVERY MONTH.
1767
01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:20,100
BUT I'M MORE WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
1768
01:16:20,100 --> 01:16:23,800
OH, I'M TOTALLY COOL.
MY BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY LIVES
RIGHT NEXT DOOR, SO...
1769
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,000
Glen: SO SERIOUSLY
YOU SAID SHE WAS
BRINGING SOME FRIENDS?
1770
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,600
TWO FRIENDS.
TWO FRIENDS?
1771
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:28,600
GRADE A FUCKING TAIL?
1772
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:29,900
TWO TENDERONIES.
TWO?
1773
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:32,100
HEY, WHAT'S UP, GIRL?
1774
01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:34,800
HELLO. GLEN,
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS
CANDACE AND DENISE.
1775
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:36,100
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
HI.
1776
01:16:36,100 --> 01:16:37,200
YOU GUYS LOOK FANTASTIC.
1777
01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:39,000
I'M DOING GOOD OBVIOUSLY.
1778
01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:40,000
BYE.
1779
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:41,200
BYE, AARON.
1780
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,100
( phone vibrating )
1781
01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:44,700
HI, HEY, SWEETHEART.
1782
01:16:44,700 --> 01:16:47,200
GOT YOUR OWN LITTLE REFUGEE
CAMBODIAN OUTFIT ON.
1783
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:51,000
MM-HMM. MMM, YEAH.
I LIKE THAT LOOK
YOU GOT GOING ON.
1784
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,300
LOOK LIKE
YOU IN TRAINING MODE.
YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION.
1785
01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:55,100
I KNOW.
I'M A TOUGH GIRL.
1786
01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,900
I LIKE THESE LITTLE
EARRINGS YOU GOT, TOO.
1787
01:16:56,900 --> 01:16:58,600
MMM, I LIKE THIS
LITTLE THIGH MEAT
STICKING OUT RIGHT HERE.
1788
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:00,900
MEAT?
GONNA STICK MY FORK IN IT!
1789
01:17:00,900 --> 01:17:05,300
ALISSA, AMY, CARMEN.
1790
01:17:05,300 --> 01:17:06,300
Glen:
WHAT ARE WE HAVING?
1791
01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:07,800
LET'S DO SHOTS.
1792
01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:09,800
LET'S DO SHOTS.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
1793
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:11,300
IT'S EARLY.
LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED.
1794
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:12,800
GLEN...
1795
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:15,900
HEY, GRETCHEN.
YEAH, WHAT'S UP?
1796
01:17:15,900 --> 01:17:18,300
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU...
IN PRIVATE.
1797
01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:19,300
RIGHT NOW?
1798
01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:21,200
IT'S IMPORTANT.
NOW.
1799
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:24,800
OKAY.
EXCUSE ME, LADIES.
1800
01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:28,400
ZELDA.
SEND.
1801
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:31,600
OH, IT'S THE TEXT.
OH, THIS IS PRICELESS.
1802
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:33,700
"IT'S MAX,
AND I'M HORNY.
1803
01:17:33,700 --> 01:17:35,800
"WHICH ONE OF MY BITCHES
IS UP RIGHT NOW,
1804
01:17:35,800 --> 01:17:37,400
"READY FOR A FACELOAD
OF JIZZ?
1805
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:38,900
I GOT THE BEER."
1806
01:17:38,900 --> 01:17:41,700
OH, MY GOD.
THAT IS SO EPIC.
1807
01:17:41,700 --> 01:17:43,300
WHO DO YOU THINK THIS
WENT OUT TO?
1808
01:17:43,300 --> 01:17:46,300
KNOWING WENDY, PROBABLY EVERY
SINGLE FEMALE IN HIS PHONE.
1809
01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:47,700
( beeping )
1810
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,300
FUCKING ASSCLOWN!
1811
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,100
THANK YOU.
1812
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,000
NO, I'M GOOD.
1813
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,600
BUT WE USED A CONDOM.
1814
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:04,600
( sighs )
IT BROKE SOMETIMES, REMEMBER?
1815
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:07,700
BECAUSE YOU WERE "TOO BIG"?
1816
01:18:07,700 --> 01:18:09,700
THANK YOU.
1817
01:18:09,700 --> 01:18:12,300
OH, MY GOD.
LET ME SEE.
1818
01:18:12,300 --> 01:18:13,300
PERVERT!
1819
01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:14,900
FIVE MINUTES?!
1820
01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:16,900
UM, NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
1821
01:18:16,900 --> 01:18:18,100
UM, I'M JUST GOING TO BE
STRAIGHTENING UP.
1822
01:18:18,100 --> 01:18:19,700
OKAY. OKAY, BYE.
1823
01:18:19,700 --> 01:18:20,900
FUCK!
1824
01:18:24,100 --> 01:18:25,300
LOOK AT THAT KNEE.
MMM.
1825
01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:27,200
UM, I HAVE TO GO.
1826
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:28,600
WHAT?
YEAH.
1827
01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:29,600
YOU GOTTA GO?
MM-HMM.
1828
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:30,900
WHY?
1829
01:18:30,900 --> 01:18:32,700
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
GIRL STUFF. COME ON.
1830
01:18:32,700 --> 01:18:35,700
GIRL STUFF? NO, YOU DID NOT
JUST KISS ME ON MY FOREHEAD.
1831
01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:39,200
$500.
1832
01:18:39,200 --> 01:18:41,400
$500?
I KNOW.
1833
01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:43,000
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF IT?
1834
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:44,300
NO, I DON'T HAVE
ANY OF IT.
1835
01:18:44,300 --> 01:18:46,000
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE
TALKING TO YOU.
1836
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:47,300
I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN,
I COULD ASK MY MOM,
1837
01:18:47,300 --> 01:18:49,400
BUT SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS,
SO WHAT...
GOD.
1838
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,200
DID YOU DO ANY,
LIKE, SHOPPING AROUND?
1839
01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:52,300
IT'S MY VAGINA!
1840
01:18:52,300 --> 01:18:53,300
( phone rings )
1841
01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:55,000
Text voice:
IT'S MAX.
1842
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,700
IT'S FROM MAX!
1843
01:18:56,700 --> 01:18:58,800
"TEXT TO LANDLINE"
MESSAGE. IT'S MAX.
1844
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,800
IT'S A "TEXT TO LANDLINE"
MESSAGE.
1845
01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:03,400
...AND READY
FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ?
1846
01:19:03,400 --> 01:19:06,800
WHAT IDIOTS.
THEY TOTALLY DESERVED IT.
1847
01:19:06,900 --> 01:19:07,900
( beeping )
1848
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:10,100
OH...
1849
01:19:10,100 --> 01:19:11,800
MOMMY,
WHAT'S "JIZZ" MEAN?
1850
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:15,500
WHERE DID YOU
GET THAT FILTH?
1851
01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:17,000
MAX.
1852
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:24,100
( phone vibrates and rings )
1853
01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:27,000
PICK UP!
1854
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:28,700
SCHOOL'S OUT, AARON.
1855
01:19:28,700 --> 01:19:30,100
JOHNNY...I FUCKED UP.
1856
01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:31,200
OKAY, RELAX.
1857
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:33,500
ALL RIGHT,
MR. "PERFECT BOYFRIEND,"
1858
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:37,700
LOOK, JUST STOP AND THINK.
WHAT DID SHE TOUCH?
1859
01:19:37,700 --> 01:19:40,900
Johnny: DID SHE DRINK ANYTHING?
CHECK FOR LIPSTICK.
1860
01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:45,000
WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES?
WAS SHE SMOKING?
1861
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:48,000
CHECK THE BED.
TAKE A LINT ROLLER TO THE BED.
1862
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:51,100
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
1863
01:19:51,100 --> 01:19:53,100
JUST LOOK AROUND CAREFULLY.
1864
01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:55,800
LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
1865
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,400
HI.
1866
01:19:57,400 --> 01:20:00,200
MMM, LUCKY YOU WERE
JUST AROUND THE CORNER!
1867
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:02,200
HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING?
1868
01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:05,100
NO. NO.
1869
01:20:05,100 --> 01:20:06,800
WHAT ARE YOU--NO.
1870
01:20:10,800 --> 01:20:12,800
OH, MY GOD.
1871
01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:18,900
SHIT.
1872
01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:27,300
( phone ringing )
1873
01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:28,900
YOU WERE RIGHT.
1874
01:20:28,900 --> 01:20:32,300
HE JUST HAD SOME
MENSTRUATING WHORE OVER HERE!
1875
01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:35,800
COME ON, SWEETIE.
YOU KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME.
1876
01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:37,200
I KNOW. I JUST...
1877
01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:39,900
I DIDN'T THINK
IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON.
1878
01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:43,300
I MEAN, I REALLY,
REALLY LIKED HIM.
1879
01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:46,100
YEAH, SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM.
I THINK IT'S COOL.
1880
01:20:46,100 --> 01:20:49,200
UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAN.
SERIOUSLY YOU SAVED MY LIFE.
1881
01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:52,600
NO PROBLEM, BUT, DUDE, IF YOU
INSIST ON HAVING A GIRLFRIEND--
1882
01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:55,600
NO, NO, NO. I WASN'T EVEN
GOING TO DO ANYTHING, DUDE.
PLUS, SHE WAS ON HER PERIOD.
1883
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:59,100
HER PERIOD.
DID YOU CHECK THE BATHROOM?
1884
01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:01,800
OH, FUCK!
OH, SHIT!
1885
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:05,200
HE'S A BOY.
BOYS WOULD FUCK A STICK
OF BUTTER IF THEY COULD.
1886
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:08,400
HE'S BASICALLY AS FAITHFUL
AS THE OPTIONS OPEN TO HIM.
1887
01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:09,800
I'M GONNA KILL HIM.
1888
01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:11,500
NO. DON'T DO A THING.
1889
01:21:11,500 --> 01:21:14,200
YOU'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY
COMING UP NEXT WEEKEND,
DON'T YOU?
1890
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:15,400
YES.
1891
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:18,400
OKAY, CLEAN UP THE BLOOD,
DRY YOUR EYES,
1892
01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:20,000
AND PRETEND
LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.
1893
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,400
WE ARE GOING TO TURN
THIS WHOLE THING AROUND.
1894
01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:26,300
OKAY. CAN I COME BACK
TO THE MEETINGS?
1895
01:21:26,300 --> 01:21:28,400
OF COURSE YOU CAN,
SWEETIE.
1896
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:31,300
COME NEXT WEEK,
WE'LL GET YOU TASSELED IN,
AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN.
1897
01:21:31,300 --> 01:21:36,000
OH, AND YVONNE'S GOING TO BE
UNVEILING HER NEW BOOBIES!
1898
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,600
GOOD. I CANT WAIT.
1899
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,300
THANKS.
1900
01:21:40,300 --> 01:21:41,500
HEY, GUYS.
1901
01:21:41,500 --> 01:21:42,900
GIRL, WHAT'S UP?
1902
01:21:42,900 --> 01:21:44,400
HOW DID IT GO?
HOW DID IT GO?
1903
01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:45,400
AWESOME!
1904
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:47,200
GET DOWN!
YEAH, WE DID!
1905
01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:48,600
WE SENT THE TEXT MESSAGE
FROM HELL!
1906
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:50,200
I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE.
1907
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:52,200
( all speaking at once )
1908
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,200
THEY KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE.
ABSOLUTELY.
1909
01:21:55,200 --> 01:21:56,400
BABE,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
1910
01:21:56,400 --> 01:21:58,100
( sadly )
YES.
1911
01:21:58,100 --> 01:21:59,900
ARE YOU CRYING?
1912
01:21:59,900 --> 01:22:03,100
NO. IT'S MY ALLERGIES.
1913
01:22:03,100 --> 01:22:06,300
SO, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY?
1914
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:09,600
UM, WHAT ABOUT
THAT LITTLE RESTAURANT
YOU LIKE DOWNTOWN?
1915
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:11,900
YEAH. WHAT ABOUT MAUI?
1916
01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:13,400
( grunts )
1917
01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:15,000
WHERE YOU BEEN AT, MAN?
1918
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:16,600
BEEN AT THE FUCKING ATM.
1919
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:19,000
THIS IS...
THIS IS DEEP SHIT, MAN.
1920
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:22,100
SHIT. YOU GOT NO IDEA, MAN.
I BEEN GETTING SOME
CRAZY ASS TEXT MESSAGES.
1921
01:22:22,100 --> 01:22:24,300
YEAH?
( phone ringing )
1922
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,500
HEY, WHAT'S UP, MOM?
1923
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,000
? WE ARE THE LADIES
OF THE T.O.B. ?
1924
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:33,400
? WITH THE BOOTY
THAT THEY WANT ?
1925
01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:35,100
? BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T CHEAP
1926
01:22:35,100 --> 01:22:38,000
? WE NEED MORE JEWELRY
AND TIGS FOR RELAXIN' ?
1927
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,600
? TANNING BOOTHS AND SILICON
AND INTIMATE WAXIN' ?
1928
01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:43,400
? WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY
'CAUSE WE GOT THESE ?
1929
01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:46,200
? TIG OLD BITTIES,
WE RUN THIS CITY ?
1930
01:22:46,200 --> 01:22:48,700
? COURTNEY'S IN OUR GANG
'CAUSE SHE'S GOT TIG BITTIES ?
1931
01:22:48,700 --> 01:22:50,400
( cheering )
1932
01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:52,000
YOU DODGED A BULLET,
MY FRIEND.
1933
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:55,200
$450 FOR AN ABORTION,
OR 18 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT?
1934
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:56,300
THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY.
1935
01:22:56,300 --> 01:22:57,600
YEAH,
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
1936
01:22:57,600 --> 01:22:59,100
NOW, COURTNEY,
THAT WAS THE EASY PART,
1937
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:01,300
BUT TIME
TO JUMP YOU IN!
1938
01:23:01,400 --> 01:23:04,200
( cheering )
1939
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:06,500
( chanting )
COURTNEY, COURTNEY, COURTNEY...
1940
01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:14,400
( cheering, screaming )
1941
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,100
ONCHIE! ONCHIE!
1942
01:23:23,100 --> 01:23:25,000
AND WHAT ARE YOU
SO MISERABLE ABOUT?
1943
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:26,000
YOU GOT LUCKY, TOO.
1944
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:27,400
I KNOW.
I JUST FEEL BAD.
1945
01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:29,000
WHY? 'CAUSE YOU
DIDN'T GET TO FUCK
1946
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,400
THAT CENTERFOLD
YOU "HELPED"?
1947
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,400
DID THEY PAY UP?
MOSTLY.
1948
01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,500
GOD, I'VE FUCKED
SOME CHEAP BASTARDS.
1949
01:23:34,500 --> 01:23:36,300
BUT WE DID MAKE SOME
MONEY, RIGHT, WENDY?
1950
01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:38,700
WELL, BECAUSE OF YOU,
GRETCHEN, $2000!
1951
01:23:38,700 --> 01:23:41,400
HOLLA!
HOLLA!
NICE.
1952
01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:43,500
DUDE, SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE HER
TO HAWAII FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
1953
01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:45,000
( laughing )
1954
01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:48,000
YOU'RE 25.
YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT!
1955
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:49,100
NO, I KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
1956
01:23:49,100 --> 01:23:50,200
I SHOULD PROBABLY
CALL HER, MAN,
1957
01:23:50,200 --> 01:23:52,000
AND MAKE THINGS
A BIT LESS FORMAL.
1958
01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:53,000
CALL HER.
1959
01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:54,000
( laughing )
1960
01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,300
( phone vibrating )
1961
01:23:55,300 --> 01:23:58,300
OH, IT'S THE BOY.
SHALL I DITCH IT?
1962
01:23:58,300 --> 01:24:00,100
NO. TAKE IT.
THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC.
1963
01:24:00,100 --> 01:24:02,000
YEAH, AND FIND OUT
WHAT HIS LITTLE FRIENDS
ARE DOING.
1964
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,700
OKAY.
1965
01:24:03,700 --> 01:24:05,300
HELLO?
1966
01:24:05,300 --> 01:24:06,700
WHERE IS YVONNE?
1967
01:24:06,700 --> 01:24:08,700
I ALWAYS DITCH THEM ALL
EVERY SIX MONTHS.
1968
01:24:08,700 --> 01:24:09,700
IT'S VERY LIBERATING.
1969
01:24:09,700 --> 01:24:11,600
ALL EXCEPT
THE ONE YOU LOVED.
1970
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:13,500
COME ON, DUDE, WE'VE BEEN
THROUGH A LOT, MAN.
1971
01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,200
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
WHAT HAPPENED?
1972
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:17,500
( crying )
1973
01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:20,200
THEY'RE PARTYING!
1974
01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:23,300
ONE IS EXCITED
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
HAVE TO HAVE A KID,
1975
01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:26,200
AND THE OTHER ONE HAS
A BUNCH OF DATES LINED UP,
1976
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:30,300
AND AARON WANTS TO MAKE
THINGS "LESS FORMAL."
1977
01:24:30,300 --> 01:24:31,700
OHH...
OHH...
1978
01:24:34,700 --> 01:24:36,400
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
SWEETHEART?
1979
01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,200
SHOW THEM.
1980
01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:41,300
( sniffling )
1981
01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:43,500
( crying )
1982
01:24:43,500 --> 01:24:45,100
( women gasping )
1983
01:24:45,100 --> 01:24:47,300
OHH! WHAT?!
OH, MY GOD!
1984
01:24:47,300 --> 01:24:51,300
HE SAID THAT ONE
OF THE IMPLANTS
WAS CRACKED
1985
01:24:51,300 --> 01:24:55,500
AND THAT THEY
DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL THEY
WERE GONNA IMPLANT IT.
1986
01:24:55,500 --> 01:24:57,200
DICK.
ASSHOLE!
1987
01:24:57,200 --> 01:24:58,300
WHEN IS HE GONNA DO
THE OTHER ONE?
1988
01:24:58,300 --> 01:24:59,800
HE SAID BOOKED ALL MONTH,
1989
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:04,800
BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE ME
TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK!
1990
01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:07,100
SNEAKY
LITTLE BASTARD!
1991
01:25:07,100 --> 01:25:08,500
AND LOOK WHAT HE GAVE HER
FOR HER SCAR TISSUE.
1992
01:25:08,500 --> 01:25:11,600
LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME
FOR THE SCAR TISSUE.
1993
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:13,400
KELOCOTE.
1994
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:14,700
KELOCOTE.
1995
01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:17,300
JOHNNY EYELASH.
1996
01:25:17,300 --> 01:25:20,600
WAIT.
AARON HAS A FRIEND
NAMED JOHNNY.
1997
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,400
SO DOES MAX.
1998
01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:25,700
SO DOES GLEN, AND HE'S ALWAYS
TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE IS.
1999
01:25:25,700 --> 01:25:27,400
WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASHES?
2000
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:29,400
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
HIS FAGGY LITTLE FINGERPRINTS
2001
01:25:29,400 --> 01:25:30,600
WERE ALL OVER THIS.
2002
01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:32,700
HE WAS PULLING THE STRINGS
ALL ALONG.
2003
01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:36,400
WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASH,
AND WHY IS HE RUINING
MY LIFE?
2004
01:25:36,400 --> 01:25:41,400
HE'S A BOY THAT I...
WE USED TO DATE.
2005
01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:45,100
Max:
SHE WAS AMAZING.
2006
01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:46,500
I WAS IN NEW YORK.
2007
01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,700
WE WERE YOUNG,
WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER,
2008
01:25:48,700 --> 01:25:51,800
AND I WAS REALLY
IN LOVE WITH HER.
I WAS REALLY HAPPY.
2009
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:54,300
Little Wendy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
I COULD LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH.
2010
01:25:54,300 --> 01:25:56,600
Big Wendy:
I KNEW HIM, TOO.
THAT'S HOW WE MET.
2011
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:58,400
HE HAS A LONG HISTORY
WITH THIS GANG.
2012
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,900
HE'S THE REASON
WHY WE STARTED THE T.O.B.
2013
01:26:00,900 --> 01:26:03,700
YEAH, WHAT DOES T.O.B.
STAND FOR?
2014
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:05,300
I WAS REALLY INTO HER,
2015
01:26:05,300 --> 01:26:07,500
BUT SHE WAS
A FUCKING PSYCHO NIGHTMARE.
2016
01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:09,600
I MEAN, THIS CHICK WAS BATS.
2017
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,500
Little Wendy:
I'D BEEN DATING HIM
FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS.
2018
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:15,300
I WAS YOUNG AND IN LOVE.
WE HAD JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER.
2019
01:26:15,300 --> 01:26:17,700
IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS
IN SPRING
2020
01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:20,100
WHERE YOU JUST WANT
TO STAY OUTSIDE ALL DAY.
2021
01:26:20,100 --> 01:26:21,600
Johnny: I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU EVER LIVED IN NEW YORK,
2022
01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:23,600
BUT THERE'S THAT ONE DAY
IN SPRING
2023
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:25,400
WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE,
BAM--
2024
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:27,800
TITTIES
AND MIDRIFFS EVERYWHERE.
2025
01:26:27,800 --> 01:26:29,400
Little Wendy:
SO WE'RE HAVING A NICE WALK
2026
01:26:29,400 --> 01:26:31,600
WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL
WALKS PAST.
2027
01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:33,800
IT WAS WENDY.
2028
01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:35,800
I WAS YOUNG
AND UNPREPARED FOR IT,
2029
01:26:35,800 --> 01:26:37,500
THEN THIS SMOKING CHICK
WALKED PAST,
2030
01:26:37,500 --> 01:26:39,600
WITH TITTIES FROM HELL.
2031
01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:42,600
I MEAN, BIG ONES,
BRAND-NEW, OUT ON DISPLAY,
2032
01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:45,300
SO I CATCH HER
OUT THE CORNER OF MY EYE.
2033
01:26:45,300 --> 01:26:46,800
TIG OLD BITTIES!
2034
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:48,700
Little Wendy: AND THIS WAS
BEFORE I HAD MY BOOBS,
2035
01:26:48,700 --> 01:26:51,400
SO I WAS LITTLE BIT MORE
SENSITIVE ABOUT IT BACK THEN.
2036
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,900
Johnny:
SHE JUST WENT FUCKING CRAZY.
2037
01:26:53,900 --> 01:26:55,900
SO LATER THAT NIGHT
WE WERE AT THIS CLUB, RIGHT?
2038
01:26:55,900 --> 01:26:57,600
AND I SEE THIS CHICK AGAIN.
2039
01:26:57,600 --> 01:26:59,900
SO WE WENT INTO ONE OF
THOSE UNISEX BATHROOMS.
2040
01:26:59,900 --> 01:27:01,500
ANYWAYS, I'M IN THE STALL,
2041
01:27:01,500 --> 01:27:02,900
AND I'M GETTING A BLOWJOB,
RIGHT?
2042
01:27:02,900 --> 01:27:04,500
AND SHE JUST BUST RIGHT IN.
2043
01:27:04,500 --> 01:27:06,300
Little Wendy:
I SAW WENDY IN THERE,
2044
01:27:06,300 --> 01:27:07,900
AND I DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME,
SO I JUST SCREAMED,
2045
01:27:07,900 --> 01:27:09,800
"TIG OLD BITTIES!
THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND."
2046
01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:12,400
Johnny: AND THE OTHER ONE,
SHE SPAT ON ME--
2047
01:27:12,400 --> 01:27:13,700
MY OWN JIZZ!
2048
01:27:13,700 --> 01:27:16,300
YEAH, AND IT DOES BURN,
BY THE WAY.
2049
01:27:16,300 --> 01:27:18,500
BUT WENDY WAS NICE.
SHE DIDN'T KNOW.
2050
01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:21,600
SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY,
AND WE BECAME FRIENDS.
2051
01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:23,400
AND WE ENDED UP MEETING FABIO
2052
01:27:23,400 --> 01:27:26,200
AND HAVING THIS CRAZY THREEWAY
BACK AT THE HOTEL.
2053
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:27,800
( women laughing )
2054
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:32,300
FABIO!
2055
01:27:32,300 --> 01:27:33,900
FABIO!
2056
01:27:35,400 --> 01:27:36,800
OH, WENDY, DON'T WORRY.
2057
01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:39,200
THERE'S PLENTY OF FABIO
TO GO AROUND.
2058
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:41,900
FUNNY THING,
THEY WERE BOTH CALLED WENDY.
2059
01:27:41,900 --> 01:27:45,300
WENDY? THAT CHICK
THAT CAME OVER
2060
01:27:45,300 --> 01:27:47,400
AND NEARLY GOT ME BUSTED
WAS NAMED WENDY.
2061
01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:49,800
YEAH, YVONNE'S
ALWAYS GOING ON
ABOUT THE WENDYS.
2062
01:27:49,800 --> 01:27:51,900
WENDYS! OF COURSE.
2063
01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:56,300
IT WAS THEM ALL ALONG.
THOSE LITTLE BITCHES.
2064
01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:01,400
JOHNNY EYELASH.
2065
01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:04,500
WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
2066
01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:06,700
HE STARTED ALL THIS,
AND WE'RE GONNA FINISH IT.
2067
01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:09,900
BUT TO DO IT, WE NEED TO MOVE
TO A NEW STAGE OF OUR LIVES.
2068
01:28:09,900 --> 01:28:11,300
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS,
WENDY.
2069
01:28:11,300 --> 01:28:14,300
YES, I DO.
THE NUCLEAR OPTION.
2070
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,500
JOHNNY!
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
2071
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:22,000
WHAT'S UP, BRO?
2072
01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:24,000
THANK YOU.
YOU GOT IT.
2073
01:28:25,700 --> 01:28:28,900
JOHNNY EYELASH.
COME OVER HERE.
2074
01:28:28,900 --> 01:28:31,800
OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK
DO YOU TWO WANT?
2075
01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:35,800
OH, JOHNNY EYELASH.
ALWAYS THE CHARMER, AREN'T YA?
2076
01:28:35,800 --> 01:28:37,600
EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE CHEATING
ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
2077
01:28:37,600 --> 01:28:39,000
WHAT IS THIS,
ANOTHER ONE OF
YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES
2078
01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:40,400
TO PULL OVER ON ME
AND MY BOYS?
2079
01:28:40,400 --> 01:28:42,300
NO. CALM DOWN.
2080
01:28:42,300 --> 01:28:44,800
WE'RE JUST EXTENDING
AN OLIVE BRANCH.
OH, REALLY?
2081
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:45,900
COME AND SIT OVER HERE,
JOHNNY.
2082
01:28:45,900 --> 01:28:47,300
I'M OKAY RIGHT HERE,
THANKS.
2083
01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:49,000
OUCH.
OUCH.
2084
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,400
VODKA GIMLET,
RIGHT?
2085
01:28:53,900 --> 01:28:55,000
THANK YOU.
2086
01:28:55,000 --> 01:28:56,900
SO HOW IS THE BOOB CREAM
BUSINESS?
2087
01:28:56,900 --> 01:29:01,300
IT'S GOING WELL, ACTUALLY.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
2088
01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:03,400
AND HOW IS
YOUR "WORK" GOING?
2089
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:04,500
GOOD.
YEAH?
2090
01:29:04,500 --> 01:29:06,500
WE HAVE A HOUSE.
SERIOUSLY?
2091
01:29:06,500 --> 01:29:08,400
YEAH.
AND A COMMITTEE.
2092
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:10,900
YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT
THE COMMITTEE.
AND A BUNCH OF GIRLS.
2093
01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:13,600
SO WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS
DRINKING, TOO?
OR AM I ON MY OWN?
2094
01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,400
COME ON,
COME SIT OVER HERE.
OKAY.
2095
01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:16,700
UHH.
2096
01:29:16,700 --> 01:29:19,600
SO, JOHNNY, YOU REMEMBER
WHEN WE FIRST MET, RIGHT?
2097
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:20,700
YEAH, I REMEMBER.
2098
01:29:20,700 --> 01:29:22,000
LET'S DO A TOAST.
2099
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:23,000
OF COURSE I REMEMBER.
YOU WERE SO HOT.
2100
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:24,500
ALL RIGHT, A TOAST.
2101
01:29:24,500 --> 01:29:25,600
( all speaking at once )
2102
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:28,300
TO NEW TIMES.
AND OLD TIMES.
2103
01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:30,400
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
2104
01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:32,000
IT WASN'T MY FINEST MOMENT,
SORRY.
2105
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,800
YOU WANNA GET COZY, PLEASE?
ALL RIGHT.
2106
01:29:33,800 --> 01:29:34,800
WENDY, TELL HIM.
2107
01:29:34,800 --> 01:29:35,800
YEAH, WENDY, TELL HIM.
2108
01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:37,800
WE WANT A BABY.
2109
01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:39,000
( laughs )
2110
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:40,500
SERIOUSLY?
2111
01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:42,600
YEAH. WE'RE SICK
OF ALL THE PARTIES
2112
01:29:42,600 --> 01:29:44,600
AND TRYING TO FIND
THE PERFECT GUY.
2113
01:29:44,600 --> 01:29:46,600
YOU WANT ME TO GET ONE
OF YOU TWO PREGNANT?
2114
01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:48,400
WENDY AND I
LIKE EACH OTHER.
2115
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:52,100
A LOT, IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.
2116
01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:55,000
BUT WE BOTH
STILL LIKE DICK.
2117
01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:56,700
SO HERE'S
WHAT WE'RE THINKING.
2118
01:29:56,700 --> 01:29:59,100
WHY DON'T WE
POOL OUR RESOURCES,
2119
01:29:59,100 --> 01:30:00,700
AND THE THREE OF US
MOVE IN TOGETHER?
2120
01:30:00,700 --> 01:30:01,700
THE THREE OF US
LIVE TOGETHER?
2121
01:30:01,700 --> 01:30:03,600
UH-HUH.
OH, MY GOD.
2122
01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,300
WE ALL SLEEP TOGETHER,
2123
01:30:05,300 --> 01:30:06,700
BUT THE DEAL IS
NONE OF US THREE
2124
01:30:06,700 --> 01:30:08,000
CAN SLEEP
WITH ANYBODY ELSE.
2125
01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:09,800
AND TO KEEP THE BOND STRONG,
2126
01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:12,400
YOU HAVE TO MARRY ONE OF US,
AND GET THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT.
2127
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,100
OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE...
MARRY?
2128
01:30:14,100 --> 01:30:15,900
UH-HUH.
DON'T YOU WANT A SON?
2129
01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:20,700
AND YOU GET
TO SHOW US BOTH OFF,
ONE ON EACH ARM.
2130
01:30:20,700 --> 01:30:24,900
AND YOU GET YOUR CHOICE
OF SIX HOLES.
2131
01:30:24,900 --> 01:30:27,600
EVERY NIGHT.
EVERY NIGHT.
2132
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:30,500
WE WILL FUCK YOU
INTO LITTLE PIECES.
2133
01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:32,000
IN HALF.
2134
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:34,100
UPSIDE-DOWN.
2135
01:30:34,100 --> 01:30:37,100
THIS IS BULLSHIT.
I WANNA GO FIRST.
HE LIKES ME BETTER.
2136
01:30:37,100 --> 01:30:39,800
I WANT TO SUCK IT.
NO, I WANT TO SUCK IT.
2137
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:40,800
HEY, HEY, HEY, LADIES!
2138
01:30:40,800 --> 01:30:42,700
BULLSHIT,
YOU WENT LAST NIGHT.
2139
01:30:42,700 --> 01:30:44,400
YOU SUCKED IT FIRST
THIS MORNING.
IT'S MY TURN.
2140
01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:46,600
OKAY, OKAY, LADIES,
DON'T BE GREEDY.
2141
01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:47,900
YOU CAN SHARE, ALL RIGHT?
2142
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:50,500
YOU GET THE LEFT SIDE,
YOU GET THE RIGHT SIDE.
2143
01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:51,700
ONE BALL EACH.
2144
01:30:51,700 --> 01:30:54,100
AND, GO.
2145
01:30:54,100 --> 01:30:55,700
( women giggling )
2146
01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:59,500
OKAY.
WHOA, SLOW IT DOWN.
2147
01:30:59,500 --> 01:31:01,800
BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT.
NEVER.
2148
01:31:01,800 --> 01:31:03,900
OR YOU'LL PAY.
NO WAY.
2149
01:31:03,900 --> 01:31:06,900
LOOK, I COULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER
THIS KIND OF AN ARRANGEMENT.
2150
01:31:06,900 --> 01:31:08,700
AND I WOULD NEVER CHEAT.
2151
01:31:08,700 --> 01:31:10,400
NEVER.
NO WAY.
2152
01:31:10,400 --> 01:31:11,900
Max:
WITHIN THREE MONTHS,
2153
01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:13,900
THE FIRST PART OF THEIR PLAN
WAS COMPLETE.
2154
01:31:13,900 --> 01:31:16,500
HE WAS MARRIED TO ONE,
GOT THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT,
2155
01:31:16,500 --> 01:31:18,000
AND THEY ALL LIVED
UNDER THE SAME ROOF.
2156
01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:20,100
AND FOR A WHILE,
JOHNNY WAS FAITHFUL
2157
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:22,500
AND HAPPY WITH HIS
SIX-HOLE ARRANGEMENT.
2158
01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:24,200
BUT THESE GIRLS WERE SNEAKY.
2159
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:25,900
IT WAS ALL JUST A SETUP
2160
01:31:25,900 --> 01:31:29,000
FOR THE FINAL PHASE
OF THE NUCLEAR OPTION.
2161
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,500
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET THIS
OVER WITH.
2162
01:31:30,500 --> 01:31:31,700
THIS IS A GOOD THING.
2163
01:31:31,700 --> 01:31:34,500
I KNOW.
THIS IS A GREAT THING!
2164
01:31:34,500 --> 01:31:37,400
OHH. VERONICA?
2165
01:31:37,400 --> 01:31:40,100
YEAH,
OPERATION CHEATING HEART
IS A GO.
2166
01:31:40,100 --> 01:31:41,700
TELL HER
TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
2167
01:31:41,700 --> 01:31:43,200
NOT THAT HE'S GONNA
TAKE IT, BUT...
2168
01:31:43,200 --> 01:31:45,800
GO EASY ON HIM, OKAY?
2169
01:31:49,000 --> 01:31:51,600
ALL RIGHT, VERONICA,
SO BASICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO
APPLY IT TO THE WHOLE SCAR
2170
01:31:51,600 --> 01:31:54,100
AND JUST WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
BEFORE YOU GET DRESSED.
2171
01:31:54,100 --> 01:31:55,800
IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE.
HERE, LET ME.
2172
01:32:02,800 --> 01:32:06,200
UM, WHICH ONE SHOULD
I PUT IT ON?
2173
01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:07,900
BOTH.
2174
01:32:07,900 --> 01:32:09,800
I THINK I PUT TOO MUCH.
2175
01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:12,100
THAT'S FINE.
JUST APPLY A THIN LAYER.
2176
01:32:12,100 --> 01:32:16,100
NOT SURE I'M DOING IT
PROPERLY. JOHNNY?
2177
01:32:17,500 --> 01:32:18,900
OKAY.
2178
01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:25,900
( moaning,
laughs )
2179
01:32:25,900 --> 01:32:29,500
NOW I GET IT.
OH, SO GOOD.
2180
01:32:29,500 --> 01:32:31,800
IT'LL FORM A PROTECTIVE SEAL
OVER THE EPIDERMIS.
2181
01:32:31,800 --> 01:32:34,800
YOU'RE SO CLEVER, JOHNNY.
2182
01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:37,100
VERONICA,
I DON'T SEE A SCAR.
2183
01:32:37,100 --> 01:32:38,200
WHAT?
2184
01:32:38,200 --> 01:32:39,300
THERE'S NO SCAR.
2185
01:32:39,300 --> 01:32:40,800
THERE'S A LITTLE SLIT.
2186
01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:43,600
THERE'S A SLIT? WHERE?
2187
01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:45,200
HERE.
2188
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,100
? HEY
2189
01:32:47,100 --> 01:32:48,900
FUCK IT.
2190
01:32:48,900 --> 01:32:51,700
Max: THOSE BITCHES
GOT JOHNNY GOOD.
2191
01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:56,800
THEY HAD HIM
CHEATING ON VIDEO,
2192
01:32:56,800 --> 01:32:58,700
AND WHEN THE JUDGE
SAW THE TAPE,
2193
01:32:58,700 --> 01:33:00,600
HE GAVE HALF HIS SHIT
TO LITTLE WENDY FOR ALIMONY,
2194
01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,100
AND THE OTHER HALF TO BIG WENDY
FOR CHILD SUPPORT.
2195
01:33:03,100 --> 01:33:05,000
AND NOW THEY LIVE
VERY COMFORTABLY.
2196
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:08,300
AND DAMN...THAT WAS ONE
WELL-DRESSED BABY!
2197
01:33:08,300 --> 01:33:10,000
BUT JOHNNY
MADE THE BEST OF IT.
2198
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:12,600
HE PIMPED THE SHIT OUT
OF THAT KID.
2199
01:33:12,600 --> 01:33:14,300
OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
2200
01:33:14,300 --> 01:33:16,200
MY PLEASURE.
YOU LOOK GREAT,
BY THE WAY.
2201
01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:18,600
Max: GLEN TRIED TO FOLLOW
IN JOHNNY'S FOOTSTEPS...
2202
01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:20,200
...HOW MUCH YOU'VE
SPENT ON IT...
2203
01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:22,000
BUT NOT EVERYONE'S
GOT THE TOUCH.
2204
01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:23,300
IT'S JUST A SERVICE
I PROVIDE MY CLIENTS.
2205
01:33:23,300 --> 01:33:24,600
ARE YOU KIDDING?
2206
01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,000
EW, APPLY THEM
ON YOUR OWN TITS!
2207
01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:28,600
WELL, BUT I HAVEN'T
HAD A BOOB JOB.
2208
01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:32,000
Max: YVONNE FINALLY GOT
HER OTHER TITTY.
2209
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:34,900
IT'S ALREADY PAID FOR ITSELF.
2210
01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:39,700
LOOK AT THEM TITTIES!
2211
01:33:39,700 --> 01:33:41,100
WHAT THE FUCK!
2212
01:33:41,100 --> 01:33:43,900
Max: HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
STILL RAGE.
2213
01:33:43,900 --> 01:33:45,900
( blows whistle )
EVERYBODY, OUT!
2214
01:33:45,900 --> 01:33:47,900
YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK
WITH THE T.O.B.
2215
01:33:47,900 --> 01:33:50,000
LET'S GO, GIRLS.
2216
01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:53,000
WELL, I FEEL
A LITTLE BIT BETTER
THAT YOU'RE SORRY...
2217
01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:55,300
THE WENDYS EVENTUALLY
CAME CLEAN ABOUT THE FRAME JOB,
2218
01:33:55,300 --> 01:33:57,600
AND COURTNEY QUIT THE T.O.B.
2219
01:33:57,600 --> 01:33:58,800
I JUST FOUND THEM.
EW.
2220
01:33:58,800 --> 01:34:00,900
AGAINST JOHNNY'S ADVICE,
2221
01:34:00,900 --> 01:34:03,200
AARON FESSED UP
ABOUT THE GIRL AT THE PARTY.
2222
01:34:03,200 --> 01:34:07,600
TURNS OUT HE WASN'T THE ONLY
ONE WHO "MADE A MISTAKE."
2223
01:34:07,600 --> 01:34:09,800
I FUCKING CHEATED
ON YOU, TOO, SO THERE!
WHAT?!
2224
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,300
WITH THE WENDYS OUT
OF THE PICTURE,
2225
01:34:12,300 --> 01:34:15,900
LOVE WAS ABLE TO FIND A WAY.
2226
01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:20,000
AND THAT'S WHY WE HAVING THIS
BANGING-ASS BACHELOR PARTY!
2227
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:22,300
YOU KNOW, YOU TAUGHT ME
HOW TO FIND A GOOD ONE,
AND I FOUND A GOOD ONE.
2228
01:34:22,300 --> 01:34:24,000
YOU DID.
I GOTTA ADMIT, YOU DID.
SHE'S A COOL CHICK.
2229
01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:25,300
THANKS, MAN.
I LOVE YOU, MAN.
2230
01:34:25,300 --> 01:34:27,100
I KNOW I GIVE YOU
A HARD TIME, MAN,
2231
01:34:27,100 --> 01:34:28,800
BUT I THINK IT'S COOL
THAT YOU GUYS
ARE GETTING MARRIED.
2232
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:31,100
LET'S GET DOWN, MAN.
2233
01:34:31,100 --> 01:34:34,200
Max: AND ME...
I'VE GOT A DRINK IN ONE HAND,
2234
01:34:34,200 --> 01:34:36,700
A JOINT IN THE OTHER,
CHICKS ARE JOCKING ME,
2235
01:34:36,700 --> 01:34:39,100
MY BEST FRIEND'S
MARRYING A GREAT GIRL,
2236
01:34:39,100 --> 01:34:43,400
AND I'M IN THE SHOWER WITH
FOUR BUTT-ASS NAKED CHICKS!
2237
01:34:43,400 --> 01:34:45,100
CAN IT GET ANY BETTER
THAN THAT?
2238
01:34:45,100 --> 01:34:46,800
I LOVE MY LIFE!
2239
01:34:56,900 --> 01:34:58,200
? HEY
2240
01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:07,400
? HEY
2241
01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:09,200
? "H," "O"
2242
01:35:09,200 --> 01:35:11,000
? DOUBLE "L," "Y"
2243
01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:13,100
? "W," "O," "O," "D"
2244
01:35:13,100 --> 01:35:15,100
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2245
01:35:15,100 --> 01:35:16,700
? "H," "O"
2246
01:35:16,700 --> 01:35:18,700
? DOUBLE "L," "Y"
2247
01:35:18,700 --> 01:35:20,400
? "W," "O," "O," "D"
2248
01:35:20,400 --> 01:35:22,700
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2249
01:35:37,200 --> 01:35:38,900
? "H," "O"
2250
01:35:38,900 --> 01:35:40,400
? DOUBLE "L," "Y"
2251
01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,400
? "W," "O," "O," "D"
2252
01:35:42,400 --> 01:35:44,400
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2253
01:35:44,400 --> 01:35:46,100
? "H," "O"
2254
01:35:46,100 --> 01:35:48,100
? DOUBLE "L," "Y"
2255
01:35:48,100 --> 01:35:50,000
? "W," "O," "O," "D"
2256
01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:52,400
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2257
01:35:57,300 --> 01:35:59,700
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2258
01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,400
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2259
01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:22,000
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2260
01:36:26,900 --> 01:36:29,200
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2261
01:36:38,800 --> 01:36:40,300
? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS
2262
01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:42,000
? GRRREEDY
2263
01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:44,400
? IT'S THE KOREATOWN
ODDITY ?
2264
01:36:44,400 --> 01:36:46,100
? OBVIOUSLY
THEY'LL PUT YOU UP ?
2265
01:36:46,100 --> 01:36:48,100
? ON THIS WHOLE
HOLLYWOOD THING ?
2266
01:36:48,100 --> 01:36:49,900
? SPECIFICALLY THE SEX WARS
2267
01:36:49,900 --> 01:36:51,900
? GOT STRIPPERS STACKED
ON TOP OF US ?
2268
01:36:51,900 --> 01:36:53,900
? BUT THIS IS NOT
CONNECT FOUR ?
2269
01:36:53,900 --> 01:36:55,300
? IT'S STRIP TWISTER
2270
01:36:55,400 --> 01:36:57,300
? NOW WE PARTY UP
2271
01:36:57,300 --> 01:36:59,000
? BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS
LIKE THIS ?
2272
01:36:59,000 --> 01:37:00,800
? WHEN CHICKS
WAS MORE FRIGID ?
2273
01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:02,900
? THAN INTENSE WINTERS
AND ANTARCTICA ?
2274
01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:06,000
? BUT EVER SINCE WE GOT
ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE FROM ?
2275
01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:08,500
? JOHNNY EYELASH,
SLOWLY AS THE TIME PASSED ?
2276
01:37:08,500 --> 01:37:10,200
? WE FELT BON VIVANTS ?
2277
01:37:10,200 --> 01:37:12,000
? YOU KNOW,
MACADOCIOUS ?
2278
01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:13,800
? WITH THESE BROADS
UPON OUR NUTS ?
2279
01:37:13,800 --> 01:37:15,400
? SO THE WENDYS
GOT BEEF ?
2280
01:37:15,400 --> 01:37:17,300
? AND THEY DON'T WANT IT
ON TWO BUNS ?
2281
01:37:17,300 --> 01:37:19,400
? THEY'RE THE CAPTAINS
OF CLUB T.O.B.'s ?
2282
01:37:19,400 --> 01:37:21,100
? HOLLYWOOD CHICK ALLIANCE
2283
01:37:21,100 --> 01:37:23,000
? WE GO BACK AND FORTH
2284
01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:24,800
? LIKE PING-PONG TEAM
CHAMPIONSHIPS IN CHINA ?
2285
01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:26,900
? WITH THE
ABORTION EXTORTION ?
2286
01:37:26,900 --> 01:37:28,500
? AND THE NUCLEAR OPTION
2287
01:37:28,500 --> 01:37:30,400
? TO MAKE US BOYS
WANNA FORFEIT ?
2288
01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:32,300
? AND LOOK STUPID
IN THE PROCESS ?
2289
01:37:32,300 --> 01:37:34,400
? BUT I'M STILL
SQUEEZING BREASTESES ?
2290
01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:36,400
? YOUR GUESS IS
I'M A PLASTIC SURGEON ?
2291
01:37:36,400 --> 01:37:38,500
? NOT EXACTLY,
BUT THEY DEFINITELY ?
2292
01:37:38,500 --> 01:37:43,200
? GOT MY PACKAGE
TURGID, TURGID, TURGID... ?
169375
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