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Yahoo!
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-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-
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Thrust drive up 23%, Captain.
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Engine variant down 4.85 millicycles, Captain.
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Course bearing 12 degrees starboard into quadrant B-48.
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Should we compensate, Captain?
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Captain?
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Oh, yeah, compensate 6.9%.
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Also, I had some hot dogs generated for you guys.
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You know, it's just my way of saying thanks.
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About to exit asteroid field.
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Good.
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Once we're clear, it's hot dog time.
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No exceptions Kyle.
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I don't wanna hear about that cleanse.
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I'm kidding Kyle.
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We're really happy you're fighting your obesity.
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Unidentified object coming towards us at 1,000 parsecs from C quadrant.
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Increase shields, activate projection analysis.
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Negative shields, sir.
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We're showing a power drain of 85%.
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Oh crap, it's an ion asteroid.
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Activate evasive protocol 124.
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Ten seconds to impact, there's no time to get around it.
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Run a spent fuel clean out burst through the forward venting tubes.
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That could destroy the ship.
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Good to know.
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Do it.
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Yes.
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Impressive, Lipinski.
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That was highly unorthodox.
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No one's ever thought to do a clean out burst in all the years we've done
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this simulation.
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How did you think to do that?
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I have allergies.
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And I'm also lactose intolerant so
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you know sometimes I have these explosive sneezes.
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It's like a fart sneeze combo.
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And so, I thought you know what if the ship fart sneezed.
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You guys think I'm an idiot, don't you?
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You're making me captain of my own ship?
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Chairman Woolworth things having a fresh faced young captain
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might get the public interest in it up again.
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Wait, has the public lost interest?
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You know, you only discover rocks and
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dust in 50 years of mapping the universe.
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And suddenly you're stuck with warehouses full of unsold mugs and t-shirts.
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I tried to buy as many as I could, I'm sorry.
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I told all my friends to.
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We'll get the public back.
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Attitudes change every day.
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You know there was a time where all men wore long pieces of fabric around
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their necks and called them ties?
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Yeah. Can you imagine a guy not wearing collar balls now?
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Oh. Sorry I'm late, everybody.
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I had to wash my balls.
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May I present Zalian, your engineer.
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He will show you around your ship.
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Zalian Fletcher.
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You mean I'm getting command of the Cruiser?
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I had a model of it when I was a kid, I even had your action figure.
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You're a legend.
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I had your action figure when I was a kid.
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What? He's absorbed his share of engine radiation over the years.
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But, at our price level, he's still the best in the business.
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Oh my God, this day is amazing.
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The Cruiser?
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Somebody pinch me.
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Okay. Not really though I bruise fast.
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Wait, how did my sister do on the test?
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Incredible.
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You and she are the first cadets in ten years to pass simulation A-19.
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Oh thank god, so she's getting her own ship.
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No way.
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We're all terrified of her.
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So we're making her your second in command.
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Oh, no.
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Stewart.
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What are you doing here?
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We were just telling Stewart that he's gonna be the captain of
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his own ship.
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And you are gonna be his second in command,
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reporting directly to your younger brother.
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Isn't that gonna be fun?
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Congratulations, Stewart.
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Huh?
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Thank you?
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One hour until departure.
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All unauthorized personnel, please exit.
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Look at me, Captain.
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All hands on deck.
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Fire the lasers.
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Readying lasers, Captain.
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Oh, no, no, no, undo command, I was just kidding.
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I don't wanna fire any lasers.
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Just doing a bit, you know, abusing my power.
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Oh, greetings Captain.
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My name's Natasha.
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I'm programmed to monitor all ship functions,
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communicate with command vessels.
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And provide data analyses and reference databases.
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Are my breasts and buttocks to your liking?
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Wh, what's that?
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Oh, well optimally I'd be attractive enough for
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you to want to perform well in front of me.
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But not so attractive that you'd fantasize about having sex with me.
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So?
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We're good in the north and the south?
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Sure. Yeah, yeah.
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This good?
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Oh that's enough.
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Good, okay. Thank you, excuse me.
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Your not going to forget about me while I'm gone right?
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Tina, of course not.
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Look, with a communicator we can talk every night.
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I even installed an upgraded sensation software so
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that our screen kisses will taste and feel just like the real thing.
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See?
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Did you have Sloppy Joes?
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Yeah.
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I don't wanna go. Did you just burp?
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I'm sorry, baby.
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I don't even know why they picked me for this thing,
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I wasn't the top of my class,
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I don't know who made me the stupid navigator!
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Hey!
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Tina.
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Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
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This is so exciting, isn't it?
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Oh. Oh, Ted control says they need you.
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Apparently they need you right now, so stop kissing her, they're saying.
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I'm on my way.
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Okay.
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Make me proud Turkey.
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God, he couldn't even say I love you.
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I mean, how hard is that?
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Three words, I love you.
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Oh, it's so gross when you say it.
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We'll, we'll work on that.
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You're out of your mind, right?
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Hey! Hi.
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I think you're supposed to salute me before you speak to me.
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But we'll let it go this time.
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Your first decision as captain and you made your crush the navigator?
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No, I also signed off on the computer's boob and butt size.
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I'm gonna make your life a living hell and
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you're gonna wish you never set foot in that academy.
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Well you do that and I'll tell mom.
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Captain Michael Newman reporting from Jupiter.
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First mate Lipinski and I have just landed.
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I'll always be your little helper, Captain Michael.
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You're the best babysitter ever!
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Thanks, Stewart.
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You can be my second-in-command anytime.
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We thought Jupiter was a solid mass.
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We were dumb asses, weren't we?
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Greetings sir and
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may I just say that it's an honor to be serving under you.
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Easy on the sirs.
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Okay, I'm still the kid you used to babysit remember?
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Yeah.
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Oh, how much do I love this guy?
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About as much as I love being your second in command.
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Actually they gave second to Karen.
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So you're going to be my third in command.
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Hope that's okay.
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You smell nice.
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All right.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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Mm.
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Can I help you?
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You're wearing a captain's shirt.
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Hello captain, I'm Kent Woolworth your new science officer.
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Woolworth, as in Helen Woolworth the chairwoman?
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She is my mother.
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And yes, I am here as part of your crew due to nepotism,
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much to my chagrin.
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I couldn't be less pleased to be here.
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However, my mother needed my sleeping chamber at home as her
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Pilates studio.
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She's trying to tone her body so that she can seduce.
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Okay I'm gonna stop you right there.
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Thank you for your honesty.
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Lying is not a skill that I possess.
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You have a stray nose hair, sir.
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UMP cruiser, you are good to go.
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Initiating departure sequence control.
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I can't tell you how excited all of us here on the bridge are to finally
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get going.
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Isn't that right gang?
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I'm not detecting any verbal verification on the bridge captain.
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My preliminary reading is that people are not in fact excited.
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Okay, that's fine, that's enough, thank you.
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Thank you.
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Come on you guys.
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Michael.
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We're excited on the bridge, right?
199
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Oh, yes, sir.
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Captain Stewart, sir, very excited.
201
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This worked out exactly the way we all wanted sir.
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Oh, it's time.
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I'd like everyone's attention.
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It's time to say something I have been waiting my whole life to say.
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Oh, don't do it.
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Past the moon, past Mars.
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Do you guys not know the motto?
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Yeah, we know it, it's just that- All right, great, let's do it!
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Let us sail to the stars!
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Stars, stars, stars.
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Okay, activate front view.
212
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There it is.
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There's space.
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We are on our way.
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Good times.
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Okay, everyone, I know we got off on the wrong foot today but
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that's only because we haven't had time to gel as a team.
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It's funny you know.
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They're sending us out into the stars, but
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I'm seeing a lot of stars right in here.
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So, on this, our very first night together,
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I thought we'd have a little celebratory meal.
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Who wants turkey?
224
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Stewart, this is Grandma's dressing.
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Turkey was Ted's favorite.
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He used to call me turkey.
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He's hilarious.
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I can't eat tryptophan.
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It makes blood come out my ears.
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What?
231
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Okay guys, come on.
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Let's raise a fork to our new family.
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We're in this together.
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Okay.
235
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Okay.
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Sis, come on.
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For grandma.
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All right.
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Think that's a yes.
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Okay.
241
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Mm.
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Jesus Christ, this tastes like grandma.
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I hope no-one swallowed that.
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I actually swallowed mine, sir.
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Gross.
246
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Oh, Natasha, how old is this food tank?
247
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It was installed on May 14th, 2070.
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That was 35 years ago.
249
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Why don't we have a new food tank?
250
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Because no one replaced it.
251
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Stewart, you didn't check the food tank?
252
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It's not my job.
253
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The ship's engineer is supposed to.
254
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Oh, no, Zalian.
255
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Oh man, I was.
256
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Oh, I totally spaced it out.
257
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Did you also space out how we're supposed to survive a year on this ship
258
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with no food?
259
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Oh, food?
260
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I got food here we can all use.
261
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Oh.
262
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Mm.
263
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Oh, fudge me.
264
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This is so cool.
265
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But I don't think we can eat fudge for a year.
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Oh, suit yourself.
267
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It's a superfood.
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I haven't pee'd in a decade.
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And does anybody else feel like their head's about to explode?
270
00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:41,790
Oh, that's just the radiation.
271
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:42,740
You'll get used to it.
272
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,860
In fact, it rots the part of your brain that feels pain.
273
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,839
Well, I guess, we have to turn back and get more food.
274
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:51,769
God, I'm gonna look like such an idiot.
275
00:10:51,769 --> 00:10:55,160
Ow. Can't you see, I'm dreaming of electric sheep here?
276
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:55,820
Who are you?
277
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,320
Hey, this is my buddy, Art.
278
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,310
He's the best.
279
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:01,710
I don't think I remember seeing a robot on the crew manifest.
280
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:03,100
What function do you serve?
281
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,070
Oh. None whatsoever.
282
00:11:05,070 --> 00:11:08,183
I'm riding the intergalactic rails like the space hobos of yore.
283
00:11:08,183 --> 00:11:10,003
So, you forgot to bring usable food, but
284
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,723
you managed to bring along a stowaway?
285
00:11:11,723 --> 00:11:13,964
Take us home, Tina.
286
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:14,863
Oh, thank God.
287
00:11:14,863 --> 00:11:16,071
I mean, yes sir.
288
00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:20,202
Ow. Oh, god.
289
00:11:20,202 --> 00:11:24,441
She really wants to get back to that stupid Swedish boyfriend of hers.
290
00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:27,338
Tina, go easy on the gas, please.
291
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,516
Dude, I didn't do that.
292
00:11:28,516 --> 00:11:30,669
She's not kidding, my engines didn't accelerate.
293
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:32,179
To the bridge.
294
00:11:35,663 --> 00:11:36,499
Nothing's responding.
295
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:39,657
What's our speed?
296
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,010
0.15 mega knots increasing by three clicks per second.
297
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,340
We're caught in a gravitational field.
298
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:46,180
It's probably because that water Michael spilled.
299
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,150
I cleaned it up, I can show you the towel, Captain.
300
00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:49,970
No beverages in the bridge, Michael.
301
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,640
Run an escape protocol, Stewart.
302
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,870
Don't mom me.
303
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:53,965
Start escape protocol 159.
304
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,126
Oh my God, look.
305
00:11:55,126 --> 00:11:57,495
Reverse thrusters.
306
00:11:57,495 --> 00:11:58,452
We have no power.
307
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:00,752
I got you buddy.
308
00:12:36,079 --> 00:12:37,141
Was anyone else just a baby?
309
00:12:37,141 --> 00:12:40,764
Where are we?
310
00:12:46,337 --> 00:12:48,510
Hello? New friends?
311
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:50,216
Hey, guys, who messed with the lights?
312
00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:50,773
Jeez.
313
00:12:56,685 --> 00:12:59,524
Reboot complete, updating wardrobe.
314
00:12:59,524 --> 00:13:02,270
Natasha, what just happened?
315
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:05,380
Preliminary data shows that we encountered a rupture between
316
00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:07,770
our universe and some parallel entity.
317
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:08,965
I believe we hit a brane.
318
00:13:10,495 --> 00:13:12,305
Brane is short for membrane.
319
00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:17,280
Brane theory says that our universe is like a large, flat jellyfish.
320
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,050
Floating on the water surrounded by other universes doing the exact
321
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:21,650
same thing.
322
00:13:22,910 --> 00:13:25,450
Sometimes, they bump into each other.
323
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:28,020
And every once in a while they hit each other hard enough
324
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:31,770
that they open up a tear between each other that can suck matter through.
325
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,676
Like turds down a toilet.
326
00:13:32,676 --> 00:13:35,753
No. It's nothing like a fecal disposal unit.
327
00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:36,978
It's jellyfish.
328
00:13:36,978 --> 00:13:39,857
So we discovered a tunnel to a new universe?
329
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:42,120
Yay, us!
330
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,979
It's more of a toilet, but yes.
331
00:13:43,979 --> 00:13:45,963
Tunnel implies permanence.
332
00:13:45,963 --> 00:13:50,440
The tear we went through was only open for 10.36 seconds.
333
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,254
So we're lost.
334
00:13:51,254 --> 00:13:53,384
Entrapped, yes.
335
00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:56,835
Possibly forever.
336
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:57,578
Probably even.
337
00:14:00,713 --> 00:14:02,222
It's like we get flushed out, yeah.
338
00:14:02,222 --> 00:14:03,731
You know what, it actually is more like a toilet.
339
00:14:03,731 --> 00:14:07,020
Told you. All right, everybody just calm down.
340
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,270
Panicking is not gonna help.
341
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:11,070
We can't be worried about how we only have fudge to eat.
342
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,980
Or how all our families are probably going to think we're dead.
343
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,750
Or how UMP probably thinks that we got vaporized by some asteroid.
344
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:20,932
They'll give us posthumous medals and then bury empty coffins in our honor.
345
00:14:20,932 --> 00:14:22,557
Michael.
346
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:23,370
Are you okay?
347
00:14:23,370 --> 00:14:24,972
Didn't I just tell you to calm down?
348
00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:28,710
Stewart and I just want you guys to stop flipping out here.
349
00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,753
We have to remain calm.
350
00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:33,652
Oh.
351
00:14:33,652 --> 00:14:35,724
Well, you know what?
352
00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:37,740
Michael's right.
353
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,210
We do need a solution, and here it is.
354
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,050
Stewart Lipinski,
355
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:44,320
I am officially relieving you of your duties as captain of this ship.
356
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,302
What? You can't do that.
357
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:45,871
Oh, really?
358
00:14:45,871 --> 00:14:49,524
Mm-hm. Section 3.0.5 of the Universal Mapping Project Rules of Conduct
359
00:14:49,524 --> 00:14:52,804
states the captain may be relieved of duty by his second in command if his
360
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,666
actions are deemed to place the lives of his crew in jeopardy.
361
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:56,757
Way to go, Nibs.
362
00:14:56,757 --> 00:14:58,707
Nibs, huh.
363
00:14:58,707 --> 00:14:59,799
Don't call me Nibs in front of the crew.
364
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:00,356
Nibs!
365
00:15:00,356 --> 00:15:02,469
And this was a total accident, okay?
366
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,582
What could I have possibly done to keep this from happening?
367
00:15:04,582 --> 00:15:07,809
Oh, I don't know, Stewart, maybe hire a real navigator.
368
00:15:07,809 --> 00:15:09,643
Hey, that's mean.
369
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,880
Oh sorry, Tina, but we all know why you're here.
370
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,920
Well how do we know why any of us are even here in life?
371
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,370
Why am I here?
372
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:19,350
The only reason you're here is because I think you're highly skilled.
373
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:19,950
Oh come on.
374
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:21,100
Despite your taste in men.
375
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,700
Despite your taste in men.
376
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,120
What does one thing have to do with the other?
377
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,080
It's just a, it's a thing, it's a factor.
378
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,970
And what about the cruiser, Stewart?
379
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,080
The UMP loser.
380
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,820
If you had demanded a newer ship we would have had enough engine power to
381
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:34,070
escape that hole.
382
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:35,577
Hey, the cruiser rocks.
383
00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:38,990
Oh, shut up you fudge eating hippie long hair went out in 2083.
384
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:41,920
It, did, you know I've been meaning to tell you about that.
385
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:45,290
I'm detecting high levels of personal tension.
386
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:49,190
Initiating a light ribbing protocol to facilitate camaraderie.
387
00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:52,310
Hey Michael, did your mother buy that shirt for you?
388
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,910
And then there's Natasha.
389
00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:54,720
Nice body.
390
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,358
Who designed it, a 13 year old boy?
391
00:15:56,358 --> 00:16:00,330
Stewart, it's over.
392
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:04,445
Michael, get up, take Stewart back to his quarters,
393
00:16:04,445 --> 00:16:06,864
you're second in command now.
394
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:15,966
I'm taking control of this ship.
395
00:16:15,966 --> 00:16:17,057
Did you hear her?
396
00:16:17,057 --> 00:16:19,809
I'm second in command now.
397
00:16:19,809 --> 00:16:25,966
All right, all right, excellent.
398
00:16:25,966 --> 00:16:27,050
What the hell?
399
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,980
This was all just a simulation?
400
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:32,500
This is the final test we give to all our potential captains.
401
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,690
The only way to truly know how a person will do in a crisis is to make
402
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,740
everyone involved believe it's real.
403
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:39,080
Stewart, we put you,
404
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,120
the inferior sibling, in charge to see how your sister would handle it.
405
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:46,020
And she has exceeded our expectations.
406
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:49,020
Congratulations, Captain.
407
00:16:49,020 --> 00:16:50,150
You tricked us?
408
00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:52,940
No offense, but not cool, General.
409
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:53,840
You're right.
410
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,480
Deception, though sometimes necessary, is never cool.
411
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,940
You know Michael, you're right about a lot of things.
412
00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,860
People really should listen to you.
413
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:02,360
Mother.
414
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,940
I can't believe this.
415
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,222
Everything seems so real.
416
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,334
Oh, nice.
417
00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:15,180
Tuna fish.
418
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:18,870
Art, I recently won these incline chains in a poker game.
419
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:21,410
They'd allow you to climb very gentle hills.
420
00:17:21,410 --> 00:17:22,400
I'll give them to you for $50.
421
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,192
Deal.
422
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:25,960
They're worth 70 on ebay.
423
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,910
In your face.
424
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:29,560
No, no, Natasha, run a diagnostic.
425
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,560
And the Nobel prize for excellence in physics and
426
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,510
rocking hot bod goes to Natasha.
427
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:37,940
Brought to you by.
428
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:38,900
Bogo Jean.
429
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,198
Congratulations.
430
00:17:40,198 --> 00:17:41,430
Thank you. I'd like to thank Bogo Jean.
431
00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:43,070
How is this possible?
432
00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:44,790
Because I'm in love with you.
433
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,930
I've had a huge crush on you ever since we started at the academy together.
434
00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:48,980
What about Ted?
435
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,060
No. I don't even really like Ted.
436
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,930
I, I just was worried about telling you cause I thought
437
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,030
maybe you wouldn't like me back, or.
438
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:54,860
Oh my God no, Tina.
439
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:55,370
Oh my God.
440
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,159
I have loved you more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life.
441
00:17:58,159 --> 00:17:58,943
Really?
442
00:17:58,943 --> 00:18:00,405
Yeah. Let's hold hands.
443
00:18:00,405 --> 00:18:03,190
Okay. And let's screw all night.
444
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:03,950
All night? That's fine.
445
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:04,890
And, okay?
446
00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:07,264
I wanna play board games with you.
447
00:18:08,472 --> 00:18:11,276
I wanna have dinner with your parents.
448
00:18:11,276 --> 00:18:13,486
My mom made you a dress.
449
00:18:13,486 --> 00:18:17,294
Tell me about Spider Man.
450
00:18:20,197 --> 00:18:20,840
Hey, Turkey.
451
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,530
Wanna get married?
452
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,256
It's expensive as hell.
453
00:18:25,256 --> 00:18:26,953
Oh, yes.
454
00:18:26,953 --> 00:18:27,970
Yes!
455
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:28,990
Yes!
456
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:32,950
Yes! Captain Lipinski, let's open the airlocks and go celebrate.
457
00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,663
The drinks are on me.
458
00:18:40,564 --> 00:18:43,072
I hereby declare this mission over.
459
00:18:45,765 --> 00:18:48,040
Oh my god, Karen no.
460
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,120
Stewart, what are you doing!
461
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,350
The idea that this is not real is not real.
462
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:52,960
The simulation is simulated.
463
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:53,880
It's not that complicated.
464
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,020
What are you talking about?
465
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:55,960
It's a trap.
466
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,230
They're trying to get us to open airlock so
467
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,630
that we get sucked out into space.
468
00:18:58,630 --> 00:18:59,280
Who's trying?
469
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,040
I don't know.
470
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,210
Don't be a sore loser.
471
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,960
Karen, what happened to us in the time warp was real.
472
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,830
This simulation program is more advanced than anything you've ever
473
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:07,440
experienced.
474
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,200
Of course, it felt real.
475
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,500
Captain, open the air locks.
476
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,570
No.
477
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:14,690
Stewart, you are not gonna blow this for me.
478
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:15,940
Get away from the button.
479
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:16,890
Get, get away, get away, aah!
480
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,638
No, no, no, no. Karen, you're gonna kill us all.
481
00:19:18,638 --> 00:19:19,776
Karen.
482
00:19:19,776 --> 00:19:21,380
Tina just told me that she's in love with me.
483
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:22,980
You said that, that would never happen in a million years.
484
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:23,730
A million years.
485
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,110
Your brother's a fool.
486
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:30,190
Now, open the airlocks and I'll explain everything Admiral Lipinski.
487
00:19:40,398 --> 00:19:47,883
Look!
488
00:19:47,883 --> 00:19:49,760
Increase the shields!
489
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,020
What the hell was that?
490
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,135
I don't know.
491
00:19:55,135 --> 00:19:57,457
So that was fake?
492
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,407
People taking me seriously.
493
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,452
Ted?
494
00:20:00,452 --> 00:20:01,450
My mothers love.
495
00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:11,226
What happened to my sandwich?
496
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,767
Stewart, can I come in?
497
00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:22,649
Activate door lock.
498
00:20:22,649 --> 00:20:23,160
Override.
499
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:23,840
Override override.
500
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:24,839
Override override override.
501
00:20:30,109 --> 00:20:31,967
How's the crew?
502
00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:33,174
Depressed.
503
00:20:33,174 --> 00:20:35,032
What a mess.
504
00:20:35,032 --> 00:20:36,053
Hm.
505
00:20:36,053 --> 00:20:38,445
Tina doesn't love me.
506
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,256
All we have to eat is fudge.
507
00:20:40,256 --> 00:20:43,600
Something is trying to kill us and I have no idea how to
508
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,175
get us out of here and on top of everything, you hate me.
509
00:20:47,175 --> 00:20:48,383
I don't hate you.
510
00:20:48,383 --> 00:20:52,098
Your fantasy is literally me getting fired.
511
00:20:52,098 --> 00:20:53,444
Why do you have to be such a jerk?
512
00:20:53,444 --> 00:20:56,847
Because I'm tired of busting my ass to get things that just fall into
513
00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:57,392
your lap.
514
00:20:57,392 --> 00:20:58,553
What's that supposed to mean?
515
00:20:58,553 --> 00:21:00,551
I studied debate for three and a half years and
516
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:03,243
then you just wandered in there and got team captain over me.
517
00:21:03,243 --> 00:21:06,230
You got to the anti gravity society even though you never even floated.
518
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:08,250
You even beat me out for Juliet in drama club.
519
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:10,110
You played the nurse, that's an important part.
520
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:10,909
Oh, you.
521
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:19,390
I'm sorry.
522
00:21:19,390 --> 00:21:19,990
Stewart.
523
00:21:19,990 --> 00:21:23,080
I just tried to stage a coup against you, okay?
524
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,340
You don't apologize to me.
525
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:26,600
You're right.
526
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,345
I'm sorr. Hm.
527
00:21:27,345 --> 00:21:28,470
I didn't say it.
528
00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:29,130
I didn't say it.
529
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:39,080
The reason that you succeed is because you are good.
530
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,620
You've been captain for a day and you've already put down a mutiny and
531
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:43,810
saved all of our lives.
532
00:21:43,810 --> 00:21:45,980
I mean, you're a better captain than I could ever be.
533
00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:48,790
Hell, you're a better Juliet than I could ever be.
534
00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:49,940
I was really good, huh?
535
00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:50,550
Yeah.
536
00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:56,400
Are you recording this?
537
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,540
This is a special moment you're gonna want to remember.
538
00:21:58,540 --> 00:21:59,612
Because you were opening up yourself!. You son of a bitch.
539
00:21:59,612 --> 00:22:00,193
Give it to me.
540
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,839
My nails. Stop digging into me.
541
00:22:02,839 --> 00:22:04,233
Ow, ow, ow.
542
00:22:07,135 --> 00:22:07,948
Ow.
543
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:17,932
Okay.
544
00:22:17,932 --> 00:22:20,347
So what happens now?
545
00:22:20,347 --> 00:22:22,529
Well UMP regulations on mutiny are pretty clear.
546
00:22:22,529 --> 00:22:26,860
Yeah.
547
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:29,332
Suppose to relieve you of your duties.
548
00:22:29,332 --> 00:22:31,538
So- Yep.
549
00:22:31,538 --> 00:22:32,861
Yep.
550
00:22:32,861 --> 00:22:39,474
Well, I understand.
551
00:22:39,474 --> 00:22:44,613
You, you, und,
552
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:48,740
understand?
553
00:22:48,740 --> 00:22:56,386
Thanks for stopping me from killing us, captain.
554
00:23:01,576 --> 00:23:06,526
So your number one fantasy is to find
555
00:23:06,526 --> 00:23:11,480
a tuna fish sandwich on the ground?
556
00:23:12,710 --> 00:23:14,330
It doesn't have to be on the ground.
557
00:23:15,830 --> 00:23:19,000
Hey guys, how's the vibe out here?
558
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,640
Everyone's super sad.
559
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,330
Yeah, that's what I figured.
560
00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:27,550
I was just in my room feeling the same way, but then I did something crazy.
561
00:23:33,050 --> 00:23:33,940
I looked out the window.
562
00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:36,950
No one on Earth has seen any of this.
563
00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:39,060
We can name it whatever we want.
564
00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:41,070
Michael, what would you name that planet?
565
00:23:42,350 --> 00:23:42,850
Michael.
566
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,190
Wow.
567
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:49,040
Tina, I bet you always wanted to name a solar system.
568
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,800
Solar System One.
569
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,300
That's an option.
570
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,640
Kent?
571
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,040
Crispin's wharf.
572
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:55,790
Milky way.
573
00:23:55,790 --> 00:23:56,530
Tater dog.
574
00:23:56,530 --> 00:23:57,530
Yeah, okay. That's enough.
575
00:23:57,530 --> 00:24:01,200
We all went to the academy because we loved outer space.
576
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,510
We wanted adventure.
577
00:24:02,510 --> 00:24:03,560
Well guess what?
578
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,550
We're in a whole other space.
579
00:24:06,550 --> 00:24:07,560
This isn't school.
580
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,530
It isn't fake and it looks like it's got a whole lot of adventure to me.
581
00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:16,670
We're gonna see things that no one on earth could've ever dreamed of.
582
00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:21,170
We'll be known as the greatest explorers that ever lived.
583
00:24:21,170 --> 00:24:24,070
Oh no, I had a C minus average and I cheated a lot.
584
00:24:24,070 --> 00:24:26,580
I was programmed to deal blackjack.
585
00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,770
Oh, I very much want to kiss my mother on the lips.
586
00:24:28,770 --> 00:24:31,520
Well I'm delightful, but I'm not a crew member, and
587
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,090
I believe Curly Sue has now joined me in unemployment.
588
00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:35,780
That's right.
589
00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:39,600
According to UMP regulations, I have to fire Karen and
590
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,360
promote Michael to first officer.
591
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,010
But here's why I'm not gonna do that.
592
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,920
Because forget what people think back home.
593
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,420
Forget about bad grades and red tape.
594
00:24:52,420 --> 00:24:55,400
Forget about all the mean things people say about you.
595
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,780
Forget what your stupid programming says.
596
00:24:57,780 --> 00:24:58,860
Very well, captain.
597
00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:02,480
Initiating self deletion protocol in three, two- No,
598
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,510
no, no, no, no, no, no.
599
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:04,130
I was on a roll.
600
00:25:04,130 --> 00:25:04,990
Don't delete yourself.
601
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:10,600
Point is, it's just us out here.
602
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,650
Clean start, total do-over.
603
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:17,710
And as far as I'm concerned, that's plenty.
604
00:25:17,710 --> 00:25:20,475
Now, let's go find us some dinner in this crazy new universe.
605
00:25:20,475 --> 00:25:25,200
Your captain just gave you an order.
606
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,090
Aye, aye, Captain.
607
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,490
What do I think captain means?
608
00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:33,310
Nobody asked you that.
609
00:25:33,310 --> 00:25:34,510
Captain's just a title, really.
610
00:25:34,510 --> 00:25:36,160
You know, it's just a word.
611
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,630
We all have captain potential if you think about it.
612
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,800
But I take it super seriously.
613
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,050
I mean, you guys are the best and I will not let you down.
614
00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:48,220
With me in charge, none of you are ever gonna feel anything but
615
00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:49,770
safe and protected.
616
00:25:49,770 --> 00:25:53,750
Hey guys.
617
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:55,170
Chad.
618
00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:57,220
Chad from auxiliary deck.
619
00:25:57,220 --> 00:26:00,577
I forgot to go down and update you on everything that's happened.
620
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,410
What's up?
621
00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:05,090
Let's take a walk.
622
00:26:05,090 --> 00:26:06,640
Okay so imagine a toilet.
623
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,510
And, and we are in the toilet.
624
00:26:09,510 --> 00:26:11,674
Big old screw-up by Stewart.
625
00:26:11,674 --> 00:26:12,790
That had to feel good.
626
00:26:12,790 --> 00:26:17,266
Are you disrespecting your captain, Second Officer Newman?
627
00:26:20,118 --> 00:26:20,773
Just kidding.
628
00:26:20,773 --> 00:26:21,562
I love that.
629
00:27:01,727 --> 00:27:05,420
Yahoo!
630
00:27:06,305 --> 00:27:12,404
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