All language subtitles for Smokey.And.The.Bandit.1977.720p.BluRay.x264-.YTS.AM.eng

You heard 'bout the
legend of Jesse James

And John Henry just
to mention some names

Well, there's a truck-drivin'
legend in the South today

A man called Bandit
from Atlanta, GA

Every gearjammer
knows his name

They swear he got asphalt a
- runnin' in his veins

A foot like lead
and nerves like steel

He's gonna go to
glory rid in' 18 wheels

Oh, boy

He left Atlanta back in '63

Haulin' him a load
up to Tennessee

He hit Mounteagle
in a drivin' rain

So hard he couldn't
even see the passin' lane

Well, he started down the
grade when he lost a gear

He hit them brakes

Found he had no air

The Mounteagle grade
is steep and long

And everybody that seen it
thought the Bandit was gone

All gone

Well, his truck jackknifed

Turned completely around

He was comin' down backwards
'bout the speed of sound

A lot of folks seen
him and they all say

He had his head out the
window yell in' "Clear the way"

Well, he got to the
bottom safe and sound

Everybody asked Bandit
how he made it down

He said, "Folks, when the
truck picked up too much speed

"I just run along beside
it and drug my feet"

Ya heard the legend
of Jesse James

And John Henry just
to mention some names

Well, there's a truck-drivin'
legend in the South today

A man called Bandit
from Atlanta, GA

Every gearjammer
knows his name

They swear he's got asphalt a
- runnin' in his veins

A foot like lead
and nerves like steel

He's go in' up to
glory rid in' 18 wheels

Ah, tell me, boy

Talk to me, guitar

Hey, Kirk. How ya do in'?
Tod Engels. How are ya?

This your rig, son?

Yeah. Open up. Let's
see the manifest.

Well,

placin' you under arrest

for transport in'
alcoholic beverages

across state lines
without the proper permits.

And that means,
you dumb cowboy,

you know truck in' Coors beer
east of Texas is bootleg gin'.

This here's Georgia, son.

Well, I. Just a friendly bet.

These two old boys,
they put me up to it.

Now, when ya gonna learn?

Big and Little Enos
Burdette make that same bet

with every
gearjammer they can.

I say he ain't gonna
go for your game.

Son, from what I've heard, the biggest
thing about the Bandit is his ego,

and I figure that, plus
a lot of my dollars,

and he'll try
anything, legal or not.

Well, sir, now, they've put on

quite a show for us today,
haven't they, friends?

Yes, sir, you have seen some of the finest
gear jam min' in all of this country.

'Member, these are the boys
that take the long hauls.

They really did it today.

Hoss.

Where might I find the
Bandit? I ain't seen him.

Over there behind his
rig. Who wants to see him?

Who's askin'? I'm askin',

'cause I'm the guy
payin' him $25 a day

so all his loyal
fans can look at him.

Do it.

I'm buyin' your attraction
for a half an hour.

Egotistical son of a bitch.

Any guy that would
paint his truck like this

would go to a minister's
funeral dressed in feathers.

See, son? Old legends never
die. They just lose weight.

Seems like a legend and an out-of-work
bum look a lot alike, Daddy.

Bandit, me and
my son are here.

Oh, I love your suits.

It must be a bitch get tin' a
size 68 extra-fat and a 12 dwarf.

I came to make a deal.

What's he get if he wins
this truck rodeo thing?

If?

Five thousand dollars, Daddy.

Chicken-shit money.

Just what the hell
you want, anyway?

You to get out of
this dumb-ass rodeo

and accept a real challenge.

Now, get tin' to Texarkana and
back in 28 hours, that's no problem.

It ain't never been
done before, hot shit.

Watch your language,
little lady.

The problem is
that Coors beer.

You take that east
of Texas and that's.

That's bootleg gin'.

You know, I believe you're
just a little bit scared.

That's great psychology.

Why don't you just say some
thin' bad about my mother?

Your mama is so
ugly. Now, look, look.

You make this run for me.

These Peterbilts here
are worth $80,000.

That comes to about three grand
an hour if you make it in 28 hours.

How about that
for a challenge?

Dad, I don't believe
that that's. Never mind.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Why do you want
that beer so bad?

Because he's thirsty, dummy.

You see, I got a boy runnin'
tomorrow in the Southern Classic,

and when he wins, I
wanna celebrate in style.

How much style?

Well, I got a few
friends and me.

Four hundred cases.

Four hundred cases.
- Well?

Well, let me see your cash.

Big Enos' word is gold.

All right, show him the cash.

Go ahead, Little. Shit.

Well, let's see. There's 400 cases
of beer. I'll need the cash for that.

No problem. Go ahead, boy.

New car. Gotta have a new
car to block for the truck.

Ok. Go ahead, boy.

I'd like to kick
his ass just once.

Speedy car.

Speedier than that.

Go ahead.

Hello, darlin'.
Hi, Uncle Bandit.

Which one of the house
apes are you? Kate.

Oh, he's drop pin' them
like flies, isn't he?

Well, well, well.
Hello, beautiful.

How about gorgeous?
You can't have him.

Well, obviously you can.

What are you tryin' to
do, start another race?

Hey, look, Bandit.
Look, look, look.

You got Cledus in jail once.

Leave us alone.
Hi, Uncle Bandit!

He ain't your damned
uncle! Hello, Silus.

One of you damn kids,
get this mutt out of here!

You always kick me right in
the balls. Damn it, Bandit!

Look at me!

I find it hard to
look at you, Waynette.

Very hard. Especially when you've
got those things in your hair.

Makes me think you're listening
to a radio station in Savannah.

You can't go in there
and bother Cledus.

Hey! This is my home!

Cledus. No!

I know in the past I
may have done you wrong.

Right? Right.

However, in the
future, Cledus,

I will never, ever,
do you wrong again.

Right? Right.

Yeah. Now, we
have a big chance,

a big chance to make a
run for some big bucks.

Eighty thousand of 'em.

Oh. Really? Mmm-h mm.

What are we gonna do, kidnap
the Pope or some thin'?

How'd you guess?

No. We're just gonna
run over to Texarkana

and pick up 400
cases of Coors,

and bring it back in 28 hours.

Whoa. I got a flash for you.

That's called bootleg gin',
and that's against the law.

Well, who gives a turkey

when the Snowman and the
Bandit are runnin' the booze?

No one can stop us.
No. Hold it right there.

There ain't gonna be no more Snowman
and Bandit. You understand that?

Why?

Well, because I've got to
go in the morning to Conyers

and pick up a load
of manure. Shitty job.

Can I ask you a
question? Sure. Ask me.

What the hell we wanna go to Texas for
and haul beer back here? What is that?

For the good old
American life.

For the money, for the
glory and for the fun.

Mostly for the money. Know what
we're gonna do when we get the money?

What? We're gonna
buy a new rig.

You're crazy. You
know that. Yeah.

Yes. How much money
did you say it was?

$80,000.

$80,000.

Mmm-h mm.

Waynette!

Now, Bo, I'm tell in' ya, Fred
here ain't gonna be no problem.

Well, I can see he's
gonna be a major asset.

And besides that, he's
one hellacious watchdog.

Well, let's get go in'.

Whoa. Hold it a minute. What?

I gotta. Can I ask
you a question? Sure.

Sit right there, Fred.

You mean to tell me we're gonna
drive from here to Texarkana, Texas,

and back to here in 28 hours?

It's only 900 miles
there and 900 miles back.

Well, for your information, that
ain't never been done, not in no rig.

That's 'cause you and I
ain't never done it in no rig.

You gotta stop thinkin'
so negative, son.

'Course we can make it. We ain't
never not made it yet, have we?

Well, no. You
see? There you are.

Yeah. Yeah, I see.

I see, all right. I
see our asses in a sling

if we get caught,
that's what I see.

Hey!

Well, God Almighty,
would you look at that?

It's beautiful,
huh? Honey, hush.

Well, I don't guess
we're gonna be rid in'

in the truck together
this time, are we?

Oh, no, son. I'll be drivin'
this one. Blocker. No, son.

Blocker. You'll be
drivin' the truck.

This is Bandit One,
and that is Bandit Two.

Together again.

Oh, yeah. Like Fred and
Ginger and Lester and Earl.

That's right. But we got
a problem. What's that?

You know them Smokeys, they
got them CB s in the car now.

I know that.

I haven't worked that out
yet, but I'm thinkin' about it.

Hey. I got an ideia.
You got an ideia?

Why don't we do this?

If I say go to
channel 21, forget it.

We ain't go in' to
21, we're go in' to 19.

Twenty-one is 19.

If I say go to channel
six, forget it. Six?

We go to three. Go to three.
I go to three. Perfect.

And if I say go to channel two,
we're gonna go to channel one.

Two is one.

That'll confuse everybody.
That'll confuse 'em.

On the other hand, if we
stayed on the odd channels,

switched every time and
started in the basement,

that'd work, too.

That'd do it,
too, wouldn't it?

Well, yeah, that'd
work, too, I guess.

Let's haul ass. Ok.

Breaker one. Breaker
one. This is the Bandit.

Is the Snowman out there?
Am I hit tin' ya, son?

Mercy sakes. You put about
eight and a half on me.

Blowin' my windows
out. Bring it on.

I'll be within earshot. You
keep it wound up to around 90.

Ten-four.

Hey, Bandit. Me and
Fred's got a question.

What do you and Fred want?

How come we do in' this?

Well, why not?

Well, they said it
couldn't be done.

Well, that's the reason, son.

That's good with
Fred. We're clear.

Ten-four.

Westbound and down

18 wheels a-roll in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm westbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Keep your foot
hard on the pedal

Son, never mind them brakes

Let it all hang out
'cause we got a run to make

The boys are
thirsty in Atlanta

And there's beer in Texarkana

And we'll bring it back
no matter what it takes

Westbound and down

18 wheels a-roll in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm westbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Old Smokey's got them ears on

He's hot on your trail

And he ain't gonna
rest 'til you're in jail

So you've got to dodge him

You've got to duck him

You've got to keep
that diesel truck in'

Just put that hammer
down and give it hell

Well, hello there, Smokey.

Westbound and down

18 wheels a-roll in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm westbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Keep your foot
hard on the pedal

Son, never mind them brakes

Let it all hang out
'cause we got a run to make

The boys are
thirsty in Atlanta

And there's beer in Texarkana

And we'll bring it back
no matter what it takes

Westbound and down

18 wheels a-roll in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm westbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Fred, I hope me and you
ain't let tin' Bandit

talk us into some thin'
we gonna be sorry for, son.

'Cause he's about as
crazy as you are ugly.

Westbound and down

18 wheels a-roll in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm westbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Big town, ain't it?

I wonder what they do
around here for excitement.

They probably sit around
and watch the cars rust.

Damn it, it's locked. We're
about an hour ahead of schedule.

Well, let's keep it
that way, huh? All right.

Hey, wanna beer?

Well, son!

Redneck heaven.

How we gonna load all
this stuff, though?

I'll load it with this.

You can't drive a forklift.

I can drive any
forkin' thing around.

Will you get serious?
Can you drive this thing?

I am serious.

Crank it up. Now back
it up. Oh, shut up.

I said Whoa! I said back
it up, not raise it up!

I am back in' up, ya big dumbbell!
All right. Just You relax.

Hold it! The beer!
Watch the beer!

You all right? Very
funny! Very funny!

I thought it was funny.

Hey, we really ought to pay somebody
for that mess we made in there.

All right, have you. I
got that all worked out.

You just leave a note.

Tell the folks to send the
bill to Big Enos Burdette.

"Send bill to

"Big Enos Burdette."

"Burdette. B..."

B- R B-
U-R B.

Hell, I got to go.

Hey, Spider-Man, are
you out there? Come back.

Snowman!

How we do in',
son? Come on back.

Hang on just a minute,
and I'll tell ya.

Looks like we're about 28 minutes
ahead of schedule. Come back.

I hate to say I told you so.

Don't lose your head, son.

We still got a lot
of boogeyin' to do.

Put the pedal to the metal.

I'm ten-ten on the side.

For sure, for sure.

Me and Fred, we got your
back door, ain't we, Fred?

Sorry. I don't
want to get married.

Terrific. That
makes two of us.

Will you unzip me? Sure.

Does this thing
move? Oh, yeah.

Where are we going? No,
don't tell me. Let me guess.

We are a bride in
search of a wedding.

No. No?

There is a wedding
in search of a bride.

Let me put it another way.

Think of it as a wedding
posse in search of a bride.

You understand that, cowboy?

Yeah.

What are ya do in'?

These are my shoes. Oh, yeah.

And these are my legs. Yeah.

What're you gonna
do with them?

With the shoes, or the legs?

Last time I saw legs like that,
they had a message tied to 'em.

What do you mean? These
are great little legs.

I'm a professional.

Well, in that case, you
shouldn't be dressed in white.

Dancer. Oh.

Well, cowboys love fat calves.

They're not fat.

Well, they're
bigger than mine.

Do we really wanna
talk about legs?

One of us does, otherwise
we wouldn't have gone.

Smart ass.

What're we do in' now?

Well, I am getting
my clothes, you fool.

That's a good ideia. Why don't you
slip into some thin' comfortable?

Are we really going 110?

We're going 110.

Why do you wear
that cowboy hat?

I know. Because you think
it looks dazzling on you.

I had no ideia when I
bought this wedding dress

it was gonna be so
hard to get out of.

Hold up on that
car wash, gentlemen.

Come here, son.

Whoops.

You look tired,
boy. Rest yourself.

You punks look
tuckered out, too.

That's an attention-getter.

Now, a lady in
a wed din' gown.

Yes, sir.

Get in a car?

Yes, sir.

See who was drivin'?

No, sir.

License plate?

Yes, sir. Georgia plates.

"BAN-ONE."

B- A-N
dash O-N-E.

All right, now, you boys just
stay here and watch the car.

There might be some vandals
around who wanna steal some thin',

so you boys just stay here
and keep your hands on the car

until one of my
associates arrive.

And don't go home,
don't go to eat,

and don't play with yourself.

It wouldn't look
nice on my highway.

Oh, you can think about
it, but don't do it.

Hey, man, he He's gone.
Let's Let's get out of here.

Shit. You do what you want.
I'm stay in' right here.

Twenty-eight years old and.
Oh, goodness, what's this?

I'll just tuck it right in. I was down
here dancing in a home appliance show.

I danced around
three trash mashers.

Talk to me, my boy.

I had this costume
that lit up.

I only short-circuited once.
Howdy there, good buddy.

Where did you get
that seat cover, son?

No, this ain't no seat cover.

So I was standing out
in the parking lot.

I'm sitting beside
Lawrence of Arabia.

in my costume with the lights

and I met this guy.
These can't be my pants.

God, he was good looking,
and he had this hat on.

Funny, ain't she? He was tall,

and I don't know, I think he
was from Texas or something,

and I thought, "I don't know, why don't
you marry the guy? What else have you..."

Nobody walks out on a
pretty wed din' I set up.

Right.

I'm gonna get that girl
and set everything straight.

She insulted my town.
She insulted my son.

Look, what if we. Shut up.

She insulted my
authority. Yeah.

And that's no thin' but pure and
simple, old-fashioned communism.

Happens every time one of those
dancers starts poontangin' around

with those show-folk fags.

I mean, I was halfway
down the aisle,

and I said to myself, "Jesus
Christ, what are you doing?

"His mother doesn't
even have any teeth!"

I jumped in this car, and it
blew up on the side of the road.

Then I ended up in this goddamn
airplane. What do you do?

I don't remember.

Oh, are we on the air?

Sort of. Yeah.

You think I'm nuts, don't you?

No, I don't think
you're crazy.

I picked up three
brides yesterday.

Just like you, very subdued.

Hey, what. What's
go in' on up there?

Come back, Bandit. Bandit?

Is that your name
or your profession?

That's my handle.
Bo's my real name.

What's your name? Carrie.

Hey, is she wearing
a wedding dress?

She was.

What's she wear
in' now? Come back.

Hey, you got peanut butter
or some thin' in your ears?

Tell me what that
woman's got on! Her mind?

Ten-four.

No coozie's gonna
leave me in no church.

Decoratin' up a whole
town at a cost of $40.

Right.

I can see her now,

runnin' back up that aisle.

No, she was dancin'
back up the aisle.

Her knockers bouncin'
all over the joint.

Let go of that wheel.

Why, her ass was
wigglin', too.

Why so fast? You late
for a big bowling date?

Cute.

So, tell me about yourself.

What do you wanna
know, my sign?

No, I mean, what do you
do besides drive fast?

Have fun. Is this fun?

Drivin'? Oh, driving,
talking to me.

Well, they're
both a challenge.

You've got a great profile.

Yeah, I do, don't I?
Especially from the side.

Well, at least we finally
agree on something.

Yeah. We both
like half my face.

Hey, would a cop taking a leak on
the side of the road interest you?

Yes, it would.

He's taking a ten-100.

Well, at least it's
better than a ten-200.

Smokey. Smokey.

Is this fun? I
forgot to tell ya.

I'm runnin' blocker for
400 cases of illegal Coors.

Holy shit!

I don't believe this.

Funny, I don't
remember that turn.

Bandit, where in
the hell are you?

I'll be back on the
highway in a second.

All right, good buddy.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Them things are fabulous.
I think I just went ten-100.

Well, it's better than
ten-200. That's true.

Well, the more wheels I
got the better I like it

I'm a rowdy
truck-driving mother

Boogity, boogity,
boogity, boogity

Snowman, you got your ears on?

You lucky devil, you got him.

Where the hell are you?

I'm on a two-lane blacktop.

Highway marker number 71.

How's our time do in'?

Oh, how are we do in' on time?

Doin' about 25 minutes
ahead of schedule. Come back.

What's your 20?

I'm about four miles
ahead of you, turkey.

Not for long.

Breaker, breaker
to the Bandit.

Come on back, breaker.

Bandit, I've got a Smokey
report for you. Come on.

Well, talk to me, good buddy.
You've got trouble comin'.

Well, what's your handle,
son, and what's your 20?

My handle's Smokey Bear,

and I'm tail-grab bin'
your ass right now.

God damn. That's
a Texas mo untie.

What the hell's he
do in' in Arkansas?

I don't know.

Well, let's just see what
he's got under the hood.

Bye-bye, baby

You smoke much?

I just started.

Cledus, you got
your ears on, son?

Oh, bring it on,
you lucky devil.

Comin' around you.
Over. Look, be careful.

You're gonna have to
make your own lane, buddy,

'cause you definitely
got oncoming traffic.

Be careful. Be careful.

Oh, my. Oh, my God!

I'm about to be
killed in this.

In this moving CB radio show,
and I. I don't even have a handle!

You want a handle? Ok, I'll think
one up for ya, just a minute.

Let's see. Oh, I
got one for ya. What?

Just give me a minute here.

He done good, didn't he, Fred?

What?

Frog.

Why? 'Cause you're
always hop pin' around,

and you're kinda
cute like a frog,

and I'd like to jump ya.

Nobody,

nobody makes Sheriff
Buford T. Justice

look like a possum's pecker.

'Cept for that. Shut your ass.

Break for that Bandit One.
Break for that Bandit One.

Yeah, Snowman. Come on back.

That was a Texas bubble gum
machine on your back door.

A Texas bubble gum machine?

Yeah, I saw him.

Hoss, you ain't
gonna believe this,

but that crazy sombitch just tried
to drive right up under my truck.

What's a Texas county mo
untie doing in Arkansas?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, who the hell knows?
I really don't know.

What we're deal in' with here

is a complete lack of
respect for the law.

This is Sheriff
Buford T. Justice.

I'm in pursuit of
a black Trans Am.

He's all mine, so
stay out of the way.

This is Sheriff George Branford
of Deeson County, Arkansas.

We are apprised of the situation
and are taking appropriate measures.

Did you say you are a sheriff?

That's a big ten-four!

This is Sheriff Buford
T. Justice of Texas!

Texas? You know, of course, that
you're out of your jurisdiction.

I suggest that you let my
department handle the situation.

That's very comfort in', but
I'm in a high-speed pursuit.

Don't you hear good?

I hear perfectly.

The fact that you are a sheriff
is not germane to the situation.

The goddamn Germans got
no thin' to do with it!

What'd he say? Shut
up! One shit at a time!

All right.

What do ya see? We lost him.

This is Sheriff Buford
T. Justice again.

I lost that Trans Am.
Set up a roadblock.

Good ideia. What
the hell you know?

I believe we have the situation
well under control, Sheriff.

Breaker, breaker. This is
breaker look in' for the Bandit.

Come on. You out there, son?

You got the Bandit.
Come on back.

My handle's
Silver-Tongued Devil,

and I'm here to tell
you your fellow CBers are

mighty proud of you
out there. Come on.

Well, thank ya,
son. I appreciate it.

Tell me, you comin' up on
Fayetteville and Interstate 82?

We're almost on top of it.

Well, then I got a big, bad
bear story for you out there.

I just rolled past a county
mo untie roadblock down there.

You are a
silver-tongued devil.

That's a big
ten-four, good buddy.

Well, you keep your wheels spinnin'
and the beavers grinnin', then. I'm out.

Why, thank you, Officer.

Classy guy. Classy guy.

Did you see that? They went
right through our roadblock.

You sombitches couldn't
close an umbrella.

You know some
thin', Sheriff? What?

If J.W. don't get out of
my way, I'm gonna pass him.

Where? In the woods?

Listen, I don't care if
your daddy is the mayor.

You wreck this car, it's
gonna come out of your pay.

Yeah, but, Sheriff,
he's get tin' away.

Son, he's not go in' anywhere.

The Mulberry Bridge has been
dismantled for the past six months.

That's not good.

It would be better
with a whole bridge.

And that's worse.

Why don't you just drop me
off here? I'll catch a cab.

Too late now.

We did it! We did it!

See? I didn't
wreck it, Sheriff.

We jumped over that
bridge! We did that!

Did you see what
we did? Yes, I did.

I wanna jump something else!

I wanna jump a house!
I wanna jump something!

Well, jump me.

Honest to God, it wasn't my
fault, Sheriff! I stopped!

Yeah, right.

Hey, boy, where's
Sheriff Branford?

I am Sheriff Branford.

Oh. Hey.

For some reason or another,

you sounded a little
taller on radio.

What the hell is
the world comin' to?

That sounds good to me, Tower of
Power. Hey, listen, good buddy.

What channel we on?

What? What channel are we on?

Eleven.

Snowman, are you
out there, son?

I'm up here do in' what
I'm supposed to be do in'.

What are y'all doing back
there, he'n' and she'n'?

Come back. Oh, we were
play in' a little bridge.

How we been do in'?

We lo sin' minutes, son.

We lo sin' minutes. If you don't get
up here and run me some interference,

me and you ain't never
gonna make it. Come back.

I'm gonna drop the little
dolly off at a choke-and-puke,

and then I'm gonna get
right back on the job.

All right. Ten-four
on that choke-and-puke.

Oh, by the way,
Bandit. Yeah, guy.

How 'bout bring in' me a
hamburger for Fred here?

I'm beginnin' to
worry about him.

He's look in' a little thin
in the skin. You got 'em.

Choke-and-puke.
Choke-and-puke.

That's where I'll
get off. Right.

You know, you ought to give up
smokin'. That's bad for your health.

But I enjoy it so much.

I guess you can get
your ticket over there.

You got enough money? Yeah.

I have enough
to get to Jersey,

walk the rest of the way.

Hey, thanks.

It was no thin'.

I'll see you around. Yeah.

Frog?

You gonna be all right?

Yeah.

I'm always all right.

Can I have a couple of cheeseburgers
to go and a glass of iced tea?

Yeah, ok.

How much I owe ya, ma'am?

Dollar and a half. There
you are. Keep the change.

Just keep your eye out for
that Mr. Bandit bastard!

Let me have a diablo
sandwich, a Dr. Pepper.

Make it fast. I'm
in a goddamn hurry.

You want some thin'?
Hush puppies, Daddy.

We got no time for that crap!

Dumb sombitch!

Diablo and Doc.
Thank you, nice lady.

You must be in a hell
of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?

You bet your ass on that, boy.

Oh, you got a little
mess there. Let me.

Let me help you out here,
get that off of there. That's.

Yeah, yeah. Much obliged.

Who ya chasin'?
Somebody chasin' you?

Nobody chasin' me, boy.

I been chasin' a goddamn maniac
all the way from Texarkana, Texas.

Really? What is
he, a bank robber?

Bank robber? Right.

Bank rob bin' is baby shit alongside
of what this dude is do in'.

Yeah?

Almost killed 20 law officers.

Drivin' through people's back
yards, knock in' down mailboxes.

He's got a broad in the car,

took her across
the state line.

That's the Mann Act.

I don't think he's got her
permission, and that's kidnapping.

How's that for hijinks? Yeah.

What I owe? Oh, let me
pay for it. Let me pay.

Oh, no. No, no. You're
an officer of the law.

I'd I'd be honored.
Much obliged.

Where's the can? I
gotta take a squirt.

Oh, right back there.
Just used it myself.

Hey! Hey! What are
you do in' in my car?

You're go in'
the wrong way! Oh.

Hang on! What the
hell are ya do in'?

Sheriff Justice is in
there! I know! I know!

Thank you, nice lady.
- Sure thing.

Yoo-hoo! Sheriff!

Oh, boy.

Nice ass.

The truth is, I didn't want to
be dumped at any old truck stop.

I wanted to stay with you,
and I needed an excuse.

Well, why didn't ya ask?
Well, you might've said no,

and I have a hard time
handling rejections.

We're gain in' on 'em.

I think it'd be a good ideia
if we changed places, don't you?

Yeah. You be a passenger
for a while now.

Yeah. Up. Up. I'll
just kinda slide right.

Oh, you got my hair!
Sorry. Slide right under.

I don't know. Wait. Wait.
Wait! I got it. I got it!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Hold it! Stuck here.
Ok. Wait! Wait, wait!

This is not work in'.
I got my foot on the.

Come on! It's not God damn
it! I saw them do it in movies.

Oh, my God!

Duck, or you're gonna be
talk in' out of your ass!

Daddy, the top came off.

No shit.

Snowman! How are
your vocal cords?

Well, my vocal cords are fine.

I'm a little worried
about Fred's, now.

He's been gnawing everything in the cab
of this truck, barkin' and scream in'.

I think he's turned into a
stalk of bananas. Come back.

What's your 20?

About 16 miles this
side of Mississippi.

Hold it. I just passed
another Kojak with a Kodak.

This place is crawl in' with
bears. Where the hell are you?

Come back.

I'm still tryin' to get rid
of that Texas county mo untie.

I don't know what
the hell he wants.

You know what he wants.

How would you like to be the
dude that handcuffs a legend?

Listen. Give me five minutes.

We're gonna put some moves on that
mother. I'll meet ya at Old Miss.

Well, you'd better hurry, or we can just
kiss that money good-bye. Understand?

I read you loud
and clear. Ten-four.

You got the one Snowman.
I'm eastbound and down.

We gone, killer.

That's the way I wanna
go out. That's the best.

Hey, man, watch it!

What the hell was that?

A left, or a half a "U."

Well, please don't
do it anymore.

Hey, you know who that was?

Check this out.

Bandit, this here's
the Grave Robber.

Put the pedal to the
metal, good buddy,

and we'll hold this county
mo untie as long as we can.

Come on. Well, go, girl, go!

I'm go in'! I'm go in'! I've
got the metal to the pedal,

and the thing to the floor.

Damn, he had a lot
of friends, didn't he?

If they had of cremated
the son of a bitch,

I could've been kick in' that Mr.
Bandit's ass around the moon by now.

Hold my hat!

My hat blew off, Daddy. I hope
your goddamn head was in it.

Ok. We're gonna switch. Ok.

Get up! I'm comin' over.
Oh! Oh, my goodness.

I'm comin' over underneath you.
You can just slide right on over.

Just slide.

I think I'm in love
with your belt buckle.

Close. Colorful, but close.

I like this seat
better anyway.

Yes. Have a smoke.
It seems to help.

Come on, defense!

Come on, Billy Ray, get tough!

You know, I wanted to be
a high fashion model once.

Really?

But, hell, how long can you
model clothes for 8-year-olds?

Boys. Besides that,
my cheeks were too fat.

These cheeks. These.

Oh, my goodness, we're
airborne here. Jesus Christ!

Oh, look, a football game! There's
kids! For Christ's sake, watch out!

I know they're kids. What do
you think I think they are?

Don't hit the kids! Get
your hands off my wheel!

Oh, lean to the left, lean to
the right What are ya do in'?

Stand up there and see if you
can see where the hell they went.

Can you see anything?

Yeah, it's a football game.

Can we watch, Daddy?

You stay and watch the
game. I'm go in' back!

Daddy.

Bandit, you're reckless

And you live much too hard

Ought to be in Nashville.

Yo, Snowman, are
ya out there, son?

What's your 20? Where are you?

I'm at mile marker
85. Come back.

Son of a gun! So am I!

Well, damned if ya
ain't. Damned if ya ain't.

Cledus? Yeah.

This is Frog.

Hello, Frog. I want
you to meet Fred, Frog.

Hey, Fred.

This is for Fred.
Frog, feed Fred.

Fine. What the
hell's wrong with you?

You told me you were gonna dump
the chick at the truck stop.

Ran into complications,
that's all.

You're always runnin' into
complications. It's pretty here.

Always the same, you
run into some chick.

We ain't do in' no
good on the time at all.

What the hell are we
standing here yap pin' for?

We gotta get going.
It's the chick.

Here we go.

Switch down to the next
channel, right? Yeah.

Hey, Bandit? Nice ass.

Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot.

Bye.

All right, Fred. Come
on. Let's go, boy.

Come on. Up here,
Fred. Come on. Come on.

I'm tired of pick
in' you up Fred!

Did Cledus call you a legend?

Uh-huh.

Why?

Well, I used to do some
crazy things. I used to.

So did I.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

One. Two. I'm a gypsy. Four.

That's someone who goes from
chorus line to chorus line.

Six. Seven. Eight.

You know, I was
on Broadway once.

Really?

For almost 12 minutes.

The show closed
the first night.

God, I was so good. You should've
seen me. You'd have loved me.

What do you do?

Well, I. Straight.

I just go from place to place

and do what I do best.

What's that?

Show off.

Yeah. You do do that well.

You do.

So do I. Five.
Six. Seven. Eight.

For almost 12 minutes.

Oh, shut up.

Come here, Fred.
Come here, boy. Come.

Fred, don't you make
me come after you.

Get over here,
Fred! Come here.

I'm in a hurry, and you want to take
a swim. You're drivin' me crazy, Fred.

Oh, get up here.

What is the matter
with you, Fred?

That's it for you and the truck
drivin', I'll tell you that right now.

Look, I've got to go ten-100.

Could I have a dime?

Crawl under. Terrific.

Crawl under.

Howdy. Trans Am!
What's your pleasures?

Fill it up, my man.

Give me that talker.

Hello? Mr. Bandit?

Would you just happen to
be listen in' out there?

Can you hear me, boy?

This is the Bandit.
Who've I got at that end?

This is Sheriff Buford
T. Justice of Texas.

Well, hot damn.

Welcome to
Mississippi, Sheriff.

Thank you, Mr. Bandit.

And I got a big welcome wait in'
for you when I get you back home,

you sombitch!

Don't you cuss on
this here radio.

I apologize to all the friendly
folk who are listen in'.

Now hear this, you tick turd.

I'm gonna get you.

I didn't come all the way this
far to go home with empty pockets.

I been mean in'
to ask you that.

How come you're follow in' me?

I'd be delighted to
tell you, Mr. Bandit.

You see, when I
get you back home,

I'm gonna find the tallest
tree in the country.

And then I'm gonna
hang you from it.

Sheriff?

I'm listen in'.

Do the letters F.O.
mean anything to you?

Smart ale ck.

Tell you what, partner, you
keep this one for yourself.

All right. Have a
smooth ride, Mr. Bandit.

Thank you, partner.

Hello, there, Snowman.
I'm right beside you, son.

Looks like we got a clear shot all
the way to the 'Bama state line.

Oh, a clear shot to
the 'Bama state line?

I'm gonna believe
that when I see it.

This is Sheriff Buford T. Justice
puttin' out an all-point advisory.

That black Trans Am is
now headed toward Alabama.

What happened, Daddy?

Get back in the goddamn car.

You know who I feel has really
revolutionized American musical theater?

That Stephen Sondheim.

Yeah? Yeah.

Who's he Who's that?
Stephen Sondheim?

Yeah. Does he do a lot
of musicals and stuff?

Yeah.

He ever do anything
with Brenda Lee?

Does she dance?

She spins. She's
a little spinner.

They were a good group.

The Spinners were
good. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever been in any
high school plays and stuff?

Holy shit. We got a
lot of company up there.

A lot of company.

Sarge, here he comes.
Yeah, I got eyes.

Are you ready, Roy?

I was born ready.

Don't just stand
there. Let's go get him!

Drives pretty good,
don't he, Sarge?

We'll see about that.

Sarge, you ok?

You see me movin', don't ya?

Wanna do a little pond
hopping, Frog? Oh, swell.

Now, I know you're in
a little distress here,

but did you see a
black Trans Am go by?

He caused all of
this, the Bandit.

Ain't he some thin'?

The Bandit ain't no
thin'. He's a mental case.

Good shit!

Banzai!

I saw that, you sombitch!

You did that on purpose!

You're go in' away
till you're gray!

I got the evidence! Put
the evidence in the car.

But, Daddy.

Put the evidence in the car!

I'm gonna barbecue
your ass in molasses!

Put the evidence in the back.

There's no way, no way,

that you could
come from my loins.

Soon as I get home, the
first thing I'm gonna do

is punch your
mama in the mouth.

I'll be with you in
a moment, young man.

Bandit, honey, this is the Good
Witch of the North speak in'.

You'd better not
come this way.

There's been a little
fender bender here on 64.

Snowman, did you copy that?

Yeah, I got a great
big four on that.

That'll work for me,
'cause I need to pull off,

suck up a little go-go juice and
put some groceries down my neck.

Y'all be careful and
I'll catch ya later.

One Snowman. I'm
play in' on the side.

We'll be ten-ten
on the side, son.

Lady, don't you know
you're supposed to signal?

Oh.

Really?

They call you the Bandit

An outlaw untamed

Shackled only by freedom

You wear no man's chain

We got some time. You wanna
stretch your legs, Frog?

Some say they despise you

Sure.

Well, maybe they do

But deep down inside them

I bet they wish they were you

Fill her up, hoss. Yeah.

Come on, Frederick.
My boy, my boy.

Let's go get some of
Lamar's greasy spoon.

I'm gonna put you on
a diet, Fred. Mercy.

Come on, Fred. Come on, boy.

Inside.

Come on, boy.

Lamar, surprise.
Look who's here.

I knew you was
comin'. Hi, Snowman.

What do you mean,
you knew I was comin'?

Lamar, you're rotten to
the core, you know that.

About as rotten as that food
you've been poison in' me with.

How many do you want?

I don't know. Fix
the same thing.

Just cook the
onions this time.

How in the hell have
you been, Sugar Bear?

Pretty good. You, Snowman?

Oh, pretty good,
considering the shape I'm in.

Say hello to Waynette. Ok.

Looks like old
Fred's get tin' fat.

Yeah, tell me about it.

It damn sure ain't from
eatin' the food at this joint.

Tell me about that. I know it.

By the way, where did you get
all them warthogs back there?

Damn if I know. They slid
in here a little while ago.

I'm gonna slide on out.
Catch you later, Snowman.

Yeah, why don't you just leave me?
- Who's ready for beer?

Yes, operator?

This is a collect
call from Cledus Snow.

No, I am not Hank
Snow's brother. No.

Hey, sugar babe,
how you do in'?

Could I ask you
something? Sure.

Do you think we have
anything in common?

I mean, besides being chased around
the country in that fakakta car?

Yeah.

Like what?

Have you ever seen a
Broadway show chorus line?

No.

You like Elton John?

No.

Do you know who
Casey Tibbs is?

Baseball player.

Close. Richard Petty? No.

Waylon Jennings? No.

When you tell
somebody some thin',

it depends on what part of the
United States you're stand in' in

as to just how dumb you are.

Mr. Bandit, you have a lyrical way
of cutting through the bullshit.

And you have a unique way with
the English language, Miss Frog.

Bandit steals a lady's heart

With only a smile

Don't you ever take that
hat off for anything?

Sure.

I take it off for one
thing, and one thing only.

And you live much too hard

Bandit, you're the joker

If we were lost on a
desert island together Yes?

Do you think we'd get
along and talk and things?

Sure.

Yeah, we'd get along.

It'd never be boring,
I can tell you that.

It would never be boring.

Take your hat off.

If you want to.

They call you the Bandit

I want to.

They call you the Bandit

They call you the Bandit

They call you the Bandit

No.

Honey, we'll be home in
a little while. I wanna.

Hey!

Is this your goddamn mutt?

Honey, I got I gotta
go. I'II I gotta go. Bye.

Yeah, that's my dog. Yeah.

Well, he just bit me.

Fred! Come here, Fred.

I said he just bit me.

Put the son of a bitch out of
his misery. Let's roast him.

That's not a bad
ideia. Eat him.

I don't think Fred
bit you, mister.

Fred absolutely
don't like grease.

Gearjammer, huh?

King of the Road, huh?

It's time you get out.
That's a big ten-four.

How much do I owe you, Billy?

$73.84.

Never mind. Just
keep the change.

Sorry what happened, Snowman.

It's ok, Lamar.

Far out.

What the hell is
this, a drive-in movie?

Get off of there,
you schnauzer's dick!

How do, Officer? My name's.

I don't care if your
name's Broderick Crawford.

Don't you know you can't drive a
piece of shit like that on the highway?

I'll thank you not to use that
kind of language in my presence.

Never mind that crap.
What the hell is this?

This is evidence.

Evidence?

Well, I don't care what it is.

You can't drive this piece
of shit on my highway.

I'm tell in' you
for the last time.

I happen to have my
young son in the car,

and I don't wanna hear
that kinda language.

Look, I'm askin' you one
single, goddamn. Hold it!

Hold it!

Don't you ever, ever
raise your voice to me!

Do you know who
you're talk in' to?

I happen to be
Buford T. Justice,

a distinguished officer of
over 30 years' seniority!

One of the most highly-respected
law enforcement agents

in the United
States of America.

That vehicle happens
to be evidence,

valuable evidence,

that's going to
convict a maniac

that I've been
tryin' to apprehend

and that I have been in high-speed
pursuit of for 700 miles!

He is wanted for a Mann Act,

kidnap pin', and the attempted
murder of over 20 brother officers.

Sir, I'm sorry.

I had no ideia.

It never occurred to me.

Well, please, sir, you proceed
immediately. And, well, sir, I.

I hope you'll accept my
apologies for my profanity.

Apology accepted. Now.

How about you, Bandit? You
copy this, Snowman? Come on.

I got ya, son. Come on back.

You ain't gonna believe this,

but I just did my
imitation of Joe Palooka.

I went a few rounds with some
dudes at this eat-'em-up joint.

Oh, I believe ya. I believe
anything you tell me.

How'd ya do, same as always?

Yeah, 'bout normal.

I lost.

Hey, look, we also lost a lot of valuable
time, too. We gonna really have to cook.

- Is that a ten-four?
- That's a big ten-four.

Actually, my heaviest relationship
was with an acid-rock singer

named Robert Crumly.

We were together
eight and a half days.

God, I really
thought that was it.

And?

One day I came home and
found him in the shower.

With a girl and her mother!

Well, at least he
kept it in the family.

You have a wonderful
way of putting things.

So did he. Oh, yes.

Breaker one-nine. Breaker
one-nine. This is the Bandit.

I'm look in' for a
west-bounder on Highway 85.

I need a Smokey report,
and I need it bad, son.

This is Foxy Lady, Bandit.

We heard you were comin' by,

and we decided we'd take
care of those bears for you.

You know, a little
"personalized service."

Well, just send me
the bill, Foxy Lady.

Better yet, why don't you
come by and pay up in person?

I'll catch you on the
flip side, darlin'.

I'm too pooped to pop.

Daddy, listen. Shut up!

But I'm just ahead of you.

I'm at mile marker
86. Come on by, Bandit.

All right, you
talked me into it.

Now I got that sombitch,

and I got him
with his fly open.

Well, what're we gonna
do when we get home?

Go to bed for a
week. Good ideia.

And sleep.

Wanna bet?

Hey, Orville, you seen that new
waitress down at the diner, name Arlene?

She's got some nice
legs. She's look in' good.

I'd like to take a run on her.

Oh, man, what are you talk
in' about? I'm tell in' ya.

Let me tell you some
thin' about that.

Tell ya, she makes
herself a batch of.

Feel lucky? Let's get him.

This is Car Four. We're in
pursuit of the black Trans Am.

It's the Bandit.

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go
and a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Oh, shit.

Breaker one-nine.
Breaker one-nine.

I see a portable gas station
ahead of me. Do you copy?

Is this Bandit? This is Mr. B,

and I'm gear jam min'
this roll in' refinery.

You got another
Smokey on the rubber?

It's the Bandit, son. Can we
slide right into your convoy there?

Come ahead, Bandit. We'll slip
you into the rock in' chair,

play a little
hide-and-seek.

The welcome mat is out,
and you're comin' home.

Ten-four.

We're going in the
rocking chair, honey. Good.

Trucks, I love
'em. I love 'em.

This is not a convoy.
This is a dream.

They can see right down
into this car, you know that?

Well, so what?

That's why I used to love to drive those
trucks, darlin'. Spot those beavers.

Safe as in your mother's
womb here, darlin'.

Is that right? Yeah.

Son, never mind them brakes

Let it all hang out

'Cause we got a run to make

The boys are
thirsty in Atlanta

And there's beer in Texarkana

And we'll bring it back
no matter what it takes

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Old Smokey's got them ears on

He's hot on your trail

He ain't gonna rest
till you're in jail

So you gotta dodge
him You gotta duck him

You gotta keep that
diesel truck in'

Just put that hammer
down and give it hell

Thank you, Mr. B. I don't
know how to thank ya.

You can thank me by
not get tin' caught.

Have a good day and a better
one tomorrow, good buddy.

Hey, Bandit, this
is Little Beaver.

Put your foot on the floor. We
got your back door, and I'm clear.

That's a ten-four. Snowman,
you got your ears on, son?

You've got him,
you lucky devil.

You're about to
come up on a convoy.

Keep your rubber band
stretched real tight.

Ten-four, ten-four. I'm bring in'
it, son. I'm bring in' it. I'm clear.

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Keep your foot
hard on the pedal

Son, never mind them brakes

Let it all hang out

'Cause we got a run to make

The boys are
thirsty in Atlanta

And there's beer in Texarkana

But we'll bring it back
no matter what it takes

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

I don't care if you're the Governor
of Texas. You're makin' a big mistake.

Read him his rights, Junior.

"You have the right
to remain silent.

"Anything you say may be held
against you in a court of law."

And. What's all this about?

Why, hello, Officer. Glad
you're here to assist me.

My name is Sheriff
Buford T. Justice.

I have just apprehended
the Bandit. No, sir.

You just apprehended
my captain.

Take the cuffs off, Junior.

But, Daddy, we just. Take
the cuffs off, you moose twit!

May I express my feelings
about inconveniencing ya?

But if you gonna hang
out in these kinda joints,

wear a badge on your didie!

Oh, no.

Hey, Bandit, hey,
Bandit. Listen to this.

You know who that is?
That's Mr. Evel Knievel.

He snuck in my back door
when I wasn't look in'.

You better flip-flop back
here and give me a hand, son,

or we gonna be in
a heap of trouble.

Please roger
that transmission.

Hold on to Fred. Here
comes the cavalry.

Howdy, Officer.

How ya do in'? Give me your
license and manifest, boy.

Manifest.

You know you was go
in' 96 miles an hour?

I was do in' 96. You're
damn right, you was.

I didn't know this truck
could do 96 miles an hour.

When the judge gets to you, boy, he's
gonna turn you every way but loose.

It's time you truckers learn
these roads don't belong to you.

Yeah, I know that.

You be careful, you hear?

Whoa. Want a little
piece of advice, Bandit?

Yeah. Lay it on me, son.

Don't take your foot
off of that hammer.

Them bears're about to pour
over you like maple syrup.

Ten-four.

You all right? Yeah.

Son, don't you know
this ain't Saturday?

Thanks a lot.

We don't need assistance.
I've got him in my sights.

Headquarters, disregard
my last transmission.

Son, you reckon you can
let me off at the next exit?

Boy, go get your
daddy a beer. Ok.

I understand every cop
in the state's after him.

Stay ten-ten.
I'll let you know.

That's a big
ten-four. I copy you.

Damn, he's been
stirring up some trouble.

It's the Bandit!

I'm hot to trot, longshot.

Just tell me how I can help
and I'm with ya, body and soul.

Channel clear. Breaker
one-nine. Breaker one-nine.

Is that Hot Pants Hilliard
I hear yak kin' out there?

And who wants to know?

This is the Bandit, darling.

Well, where are you, you
bodied-up, smooth-talk in' thing?

And how can I
help? Bring it back.

You still work in' at that
choke-and-puke on west 85?

Affirmative, affirmative.
I'm still dish in' it out.

We're gonna come scream in' by there in five
minutes with a herd of Smokeys on our ass.

How 'bout get tin' those pallies of
yours out there and block them off?

Love to! But, hey,
you're gonna owe me one.

I owe you a big one.

That's a big ten-four.

Ten-four.

All right, gang, we're gonna
go for a big Smokey red 22.

Ride with me? Yeah.

You sure we ain't
gonna get in trouble?

I've done it before.

We're comin' at you,
darlin'. Are you ready?

Ready, will in'
and able, Bandit.

"Ready and willing."
She always was.

Ok, gang, be alert, be
alert, 'cause here he comes.

Well, go ahead and answer.

Ten-four, Hot Pants. We copy.

Let go of the button.

Pay dirt. I just picked up
the Bandit eastbound on 95.

All units converge.

I copy, Chopper
One. I'm on my way.

This is Trooper Baker, I'm
heading for the fairgrounds.

This is Car 12. Bobby Lee and
I have him westbound on 75.

Cledus, where the hell are we?

Four miles to go, good buddy.

Four miles. God damn it!
Four miles. Four miles.

Bo, did you count on this?

I mean, all of this?

No, I didn't, honey.

Cledus? Talk to me, my boy.

God damn it, son, we
gave it our best shot.

I don't like this any
more than you do, but,

we ain't gonna make it,
son. We're gonna hang it up.

Whoa, negator y, negator y! What
are you, crazy or some thin'?

We come this far, ain't we?

When we say we gonna
do a job, we do a job!

It's me they're after. They don't
even know Cledus Snow exists.

Oh, they don't? Well, I'll
tell you what we gonna do.

We just gonna introduce
them to the boy.

So move over a little
bit, good buddy,

'cause the Snowman
is comin' through.

Hold on to your ass, Fred.

Hot damn, we're gonna make it.

Damn it! Move them vehicles.
We gotta get through there!

Here they come!

Daddy, you're about to have
your even in' ruined for you.

All right.

We're in trouble. I
know we're in trouble.

What time is it?
- One minute after.

God damn, we're 10 minutes
early. We're in trouble.

We need two things. We
need a way out of here.

We need the money.

Well, here's my Cadillac.

That'll leave me with an
even dozen. Good luck, son.

Cledus, get the money.
How 'bout the money?

How 'bout double or no thin'?
How 'bout forget tin' it?

Wait a minute. What
about double or no thin'?

You run up to Boston,
bring back some clam chowder

for me and my daddy.

You're on. You're on.

In 18 hours? You're still on.

You're crazy!
And I'm divorced!

And you. Ain't
half bad, is it?

Twenty-to-one I break the
son of a bitch this time.

Give me $500 on the Bandit.

Apprehend that horse
ass for reckless drivin'!

But Daddy, he's.

Do what I tell you,
you pile of monkey nuts.

Sheriff Buford T.
Justice, please.

Who there?

This is Bandit
Darville talk in'.

Where are you, you sombitch?

Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff,
there's just one thing I wanna say.

You must be part coon dog, 'cause
I been chased by the best of 'em,

and son, you make 'em look like
they're all runnin' in slow motion.

I just wanna say that.

Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit.

And as the pursuer,

may I say you're the god
damnedest pursue e I ever pursued.

Now that the mutual
bullshit is over,

where are you, you sombitch?

I'm right down at the
bottom of the hill.

I'm six-foot-eight,
in a cowboy outfit.

I got a little pygmy standing beside
me dressed like me. You can't miss me.

Ten-four.

Wait a minute.
Scratch that. Hold it.

I can't lie to you, Sheriff.
You're too good a man.

Look over your left shoulder.

We're on our way to Boston to
get some clam chowder. Bye-bye.

No hard feelings, Junior!

I'm not givin' up!
I'm not givin' up!

I'm never gonna give up!
I'm never gonna give up!

I'll get you, you sombitch!

Daddy, Daddy, wait for me! Don't
leave me! Who's gonna hold your hat?

Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Keep your foot
hard on the pedal

Son, never mind them brakes

Let it all hang out

'Cause we got a run to make

Those boys are
thirsty in Atlanta

And there's beer in Texarkana

And we'll bring it back
no matter what it takes

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run

Old Smokey's got them ears on

He's hot on your trail

He ain't gonna rest
'til you're in jail

So you got to dodge
him You got to duck him

You've got to keep
that diesel truck in'

Just put that hammer down

And give it hell

Eastbound and down

Loaded up and truck in'

We gonna do what
they say can't be done

We've got a long way to go

And a short time to get there

I'm eastbound

Just watch ol' Bandit run