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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:30,104 --> 00:00:34,598
Picture in your mind
the farthest point in the universe.
3
00:00:35,109 --> 00:00:39,068
Our story begins just
a couple of blocks past that.
4
00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:15,377
Let's see what's happening here.
5
00:01:17,652 --> 00:01:20,086
Earth? What is this?
6
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,047
Postponed?
7
00:01:23,891 --> 00:01:26,018
-Sir?
-I'm Iooking at a report...
8
00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:29,322
...that says the destruction
of the Earth has been postponed.
9
00:01:29,497 --> 00:01:32,864
-ExpIain it.
-Well, actually, it's Mr. Armageddon.
10
00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:36,367
Armageddon? I ordered that Ioser
seaIed inside a baII of banishment.
11
00:01:36,537 --> 00:01:39,370
Yes, sir. We had him crated.
But something happened.
12
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:42,236
I want a detaiIed report
of Armageddon's every action...
13
00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:44,935
...in the Iast 2 4 hours,
and I want it now.
14
00:01:45,113 --> 00:01:47,946
The report you requested, sir.
15
00:01:48,683 --> 00:01:50,378
Sweet thing.
16
00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:54,711
-Was that fast enough for you?
-Not even cIose. You're demon dust.
17
00:01:56,891 --> 00:01:59,359
I hope they didn't incIude a picture.
18
00:02:00,728 --> 00:02:04,494
Armageddon! You Iook Iike
a hemorrhoid with eyebrows.
19
00:02:11,372 --> 00:02:14,739
The last 2 4 hours
of Mr. Armageddon's existence.
20
00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:18,174
An in-depth report compiled
and narrated by yours truly...
21
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,041
...Sliza Beealzeberg.
22
00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:23,115
Prepared and submitted
for the pleasure of his most royal...
23
00:02:23,284 --> 00:02:26,117
...and anti-holy eminence,
the Monster In Charge.
24
00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:29,484
That monster with the mostest,
that extra-cool, ultra-hip...
25
00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:32,182
...and happening demon overlord,
that simmering...
26
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,885
-...sIippery, suppIe--
-Cut the kiss-ass crap.
27
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:44,702
Twenty-four hours ago,
Dume and Glume, two skinheads...
28
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:46,237
...from the planet Polyester...
29
00:02:46,407 --> 00:02:49,137
...stole a box they thought
contained the ultimate weapon.
30
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,710
No one told them it contained
the ultimate absurdity.
31
00:02:53,081 --> 00:02:54,810
Break in!
32
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:03,147
We better be carefuI. If they catch us,
they'II cut off our swankers.
33
00:03:03,324 --> 00:03:05,349
I onIy have two Ieft.
34
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,862
There they are!
35
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:43,124
Oh, I hate traveIing
on metaphysicaI pIanes.
36
00:03:43,297 --> 00:03:45,265
I aIways get aura sickness.
37
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,994
Fine. Stay here,
and you'II never get sick again.
38
00:03:50,338 --> 00:03:52,272
Where are we going?
39
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,273
Where no one has gone before.
40
00:04:54,202 --> 00:04:56,432
-Open the box!
-You open it!
41
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:01,566
CarefuI.
42
00:05:06,147 --> 00:05:09,310
That single push shattered
the spell of banishment...
43
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:13,283
...cast by the Monster In Charge
and released the spectacular...
44
00:05:13,454 --> 00:05:17,891
...sacred, simply stunning
sphere of imprisonment.
45
00:05:21,062 --> 00:05:23,553
-Not very impressive, is it?
-No.
46
00:05:23,731 --> 00:05:25,790
-How does it work?
-How shouId I know?
47
00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:28,435
-No one's ever survived it.
-Oh, great.
48
00:05:28,603 --> 00:05:32,596
How are we gonna take over the
universe if we can't even operate it?
49
00:05:32,773 --> 00:05:35,139
It must be something simpIe.
50
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,774
-Hey! Easy does it. Come on.
-What?
51
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,009
Come on, be carefuI.
52
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:05,500
Mr. Armageddon had just gotten
his wake-up call.
53
00:06:05,673 --> 00:06:07,868
He decided not to destroy
Dume and Glume...
54
00:06:08,042 --> 00:06:11,808
...but instead to freeze-dry
their brains for possible use later.
55
00:06:27,395 --> 00:06:29,295
Mr. Armageddon
began doomsday...
56
00:06:29,463 --> 00:06:33,331
...by transforming
a simple cement sculpture...
57
00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:36,493
...into a horny rubber monster.
58
00:06:36,671 --> 00:06:39,970
It was this sort of cheap stunt that
got him banished in the first place.
59
00:06:40,541 --> 00:06:43,305
I know that, sweetheart.
I'm the one who banished him.
60
00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:50,834
Hey, the doomsday device.
It's missing!
61
00:08:51,005 --> 00:08:52,939
I can see it's missing. Where is it?
62
00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:55,575
Oh, great. We steaI
a doomsday device...
63
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,405
...and then somebody steaIs it
from us.
64
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,515
-Come on. Let's find it.
-Let's find it.
65
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,953
The day started just as
any other average school day.
66
00:09:11,392 --> 00:09:14,361
This adolescent earthling,
Norm Median, started his day...
67
00:09:14,528 --> 00:09:18,225
...as an average teenager.
An extremely average teenager.
68
00:09:18,399 --> 00:09:21,334
But soon he would find himself
standing between Mr. Armageddon...
69
00:09:21,502 --> 00:09:23,595
...and the destruction of Earth.
70
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,171
At that moment, however,
the only thing occupying...
71
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:30,140
...Norm's little brain was the thought
of having sex for the first time...
72
00:09:30,311 --> 00:09:32,370
...with someone other than himself.
73
00:09:33,147 --> 00:09:36,446
His only hope was this girl,
Candice Caine.
74
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,586
A French exchange student who,
according to locker-room gossip...
75
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:43,245
...had yet to add the word ''no''
to her English vocabulary.
76
00:09:43,424 --> 00:09:45,551
Was Candice thinking
what Norm was thinking?
77
00:09:52,266 --> 00:09:54,700
No. Not this time.
78
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,716
Norm sensed that for his fantasies
to be fulfilled...
79
00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:15,879
...he would have to reach the status
enjoyed by these studmuffins...
80
00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:18,217
...the school's athletic elite.
81
00:10:22,396 --> 00:10:23,886
How's it going, babes?
82
00:10:24,064 --> 00:10:26,032
-What's happening, Iadies?
-Hi, guys.
83
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,196
Oh, I Iike your new car.
84
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,840
Yo, Norm. Think fast.
85
00:10:41,148 --> 00:10:43,810
Norm saw that this
was his big chance...
86
00:10:43,984 --> 00:10:47,112
...to impress the girl of his dreams.
87
00:11:11,011 --> 00:11:13,605
But he blew it.
88
00:11:18,986 --> 00:11:21,420
Now let's take a look
at some of the other players...
89
00:11:21,589 --> 00:11:23,784
...in our cosmic drama.
90
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,185
That morning, Coach Parts
was thinking less...
91
00:11:28,362 --> 00:11:30,193
...about winning
the homecoming game...
92
00:11:30,364 --> 00:11:33,595
...than he was about making
the point spread.
93
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:46,441
In Computer Sciences, Egbert Hoser,
his joystick in hand, was hard at it.
94
00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:51,549
Later, in the gym, the basketball team
bounced their balls...
95
00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:53,550
...as Coach Parts cheered them on.
96
00:11:53,721 --> 00:11:55,951
Let's go. Let's go!
We got a big game tonight...
97
00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:58,455
...and I've got big money
riding on it.
98
00:11:59,393 --> 00:12:02,851
In Cultural Sciences, Norm
and Candice listened intently...
99
00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:05,931
...as ace student Paul Smith
gave an oral report.
100
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:09,627
--they wouId puII their brains out...
101
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,633
...through their nose.
102
00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,471
Which is reaIIy cooI,
because if they didn't...
103
00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:19,773
...their brain wouId, Iike, sweII up
and bIoat and crack their skuII...
104
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:23,576
...and just spIit their face right in two.
So the famiIies never compIained.
105
00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:27,013
And then they wouId eat
the brains...
106
00:12:27,187 --> 00:12:30,588
...because they beIieved
that it wouId make them smarter.
107
00:12:30,758 --> 00:12:32,248
But they never ate too much...
108
00:12:32,426 --> 00:12:34,894
...because they didn't want
their brains to get too big.
109
00:12:35,062 --> 00:12:38,361
They never, ever ate the eyebaIIs,
because that was reaIIy disgusting.
110
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:41,300
And aII of this...
111
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:46,304
...Ied to the discovery
and erection of the pyramids.
112
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:52,337
Which can stiII be seen today.
And that brings me to my finaI...
113
00:12:52,513 --> 00:12:55,414
...and most important part
of my presentation.
114
00:13:05,092 --> 00:13:08,619
As you can see, I guess
that about wraps it up.
115
00:13:09,930 --> 00:13:11,454
Get it?
116
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:15,429
Terrific presentation, PauI.
117
00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:19,068
I hope the rest of you
are prepared to do as weII...
118
00:13:19,239 --> 00:13:20,729
...when you present
your projects.
119
00:13:20,908 --> 00:13:25,072
And you can teII that basketbaII team
that I wiII accept no excuses.
120
00:13:25,245 --> 00:13:26,803
Dismissed.
121
00:13:27,114 --> 00:13:29,947
As the students shuffled
between classes...
122
00:13:30,117 --> 00:13:34,315
...Mr. Armageddon silently collected
his first female specimen...
123
00:13:34,488 --> 00:13:36,422
...and momentarily delayed
doomsday...
124
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:38,990
...for the pursuit
of his own personal pleasure.
125
00:13:39,159 --> 00:13:44,119
-Oh, my God!
-You are compIeteIy in my power.
126
00:13:44,298 --> 00:13:46,562
-Fuck that.
-MarveIous idea.
127
00:13:56,777 --> 00:14:00,440
Mr. Armageddon was not
the only Casanova on campus.
128
00:14:00,614 --> 00:14:04,948
This is Todd Uppington Smythe III,
known affectionately to his friends...
129
00:14:05,119 --> 00:14:07,519
...as Dickhead.
130
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,119
Not the oId kiIIer-condom routine?
131
00:15:00,140 --> 00:15:02,870
What now? The instant zombie?
132
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:12,083
Wait tiII I get my hands on you,
Armageddon.
133
00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:35,540
Unaware of the deteriorating state
of reality around them...
134
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,939
...the students continued
their school day.
135
00:15:38,512 --> 00:15:42,073
In Science Sciences, Mr. Doe
was short of guinea pigs...
136
00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:45,082
...so he used Norm
as a test subject.
137
00:15:45,619 --> 00:15:47,678
Okay, Norm, I'II hook you up
to these babies...
138
00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:51,723
...and it'II be aII over before you
know it. You won't feeI a thing.
139
00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:54,087
Now, Iet's see
what the instruments teII us.
140
00:15:54,261 --> 00:15:58,857
Your resting puIse is normaI.
BIood pressure, normaI.
141
00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:01,564
Temperature's normaI,
EKG, normaI.
142
00:16:01,735 --> 00:16:04,898
-EEG, normaI.
-Norm, take me.
143
00:16:05,072 --> 00:16:08,599
WeII, the heart seems
to be pretty much normaI.
144
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,606
But I must remind you
that these vaIues are not fixed.
145
00:16:11,778 --> 00:16:14,611
If we stimuIated Norm,
the vaIues wouId change.
146
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:21,252
Nice work.
147
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,354
Give me that.
148
00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:26,250
I think he Iikes you.
149
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,288
I've never seen anything
Iike that before.
150
00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:30,760
Sorry.
151
00:16:31,298 --> 00:16:33,596
Must have been a power surge.
152
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:43,434
WeII, so much for our gadgets.
Now, Iet's take a Iook at nature.
153
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:50,108
These are ordinary peas.
Grown by ordinary methods.
154
00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:54,618
Compare this normaI pIant to this.
155
00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:57,518
And you can see the difference...
156
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,790
...that a change in the environment
can make.
157
00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:03,426
What'd you do to those peas?
158
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,326
WeII, I'd be happy to teII you,
O.D...
159
00:17:05,499 --> 00:17:07,967
...at the next meeting
of the AgricuIture Society.
160
00:17:08,135 --> 00:17:10,763
AII right, man. Just teII me
where and when, and I'm there.
161
00:17:10,938 --> 00:17:15,966
It wiII be here from 3 to 5.
That is unIess they drop the bomb.
162
00:17:16,176 --> 00:17:18,508
AII right, everybody. Dismissed.
163
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:26,842
Eager to reap the harvest
of homegrown knowledge...
164
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:31,548
... O.D. sowed his own seeds
in Mr. Doe's pea patch.
165
00:17:56,817 --> 00:17:59,877
I want someone to teII me the formuIa
which derives the eIevation...
166
00:18:00,053 --> 00:18:04,990
...of an edifice from X with
an incident angIe of 30 degrees.
167
00:18:05,525 --> 00:18:07,652
MeI. Why don't you
teII us the answer.
168
00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:11,992
-Me?
-Yes, MeI, you.
169
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,565
What is the answer, MeI?
170
00:18:16,737 --> 00:18:20,036
The answer, MeI.
Give me the answer.
171
00:18:20,407 --> 00:18:22,739
Answer her, MeI.
Answer her.
172
00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:30,043
Time to wake up, MeI.
173
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:38,048
-MeI, are you aII right?
-Oh, yes, ma'am. I'm sorry.
174
00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:41,755
I haven't been sIeeping too weII.
I guess I sort of dozed off.
175
00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:47,129
-WouId you Iike to go see the nurse?
-No, ma'am. I'm fine. ReaIIy.
176
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,901
WeII, okay. If you change your mind,
you Iet me know.
177
00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:52,800
-Okay. Thanks.
-Okay.
178
00:18:52,973 --> 00:18:56,067
-You sure you're okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine. ReaIIy.
179
00:18:57,778 --> 00:18:59,302
Okay.
180
00:19:08,155 --> 00:19:11,090
Mel was not the only student
having bad dreams.
181
00:19:11,258 --> 00:19:13,055
Oh, shit.
182
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:16,853
Poor Betty was about to meet
her worst nightmare.
183
00:19:17,664 --> 00:19:19,188
-Danny?
-Nope.
184
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:21,630
-Norm, is that you?
-Wrong again.
185
00:19:21,802 --> 00:19:24,100
Oh, my God.
What kind of a thing are you?
186
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:27,063
Here, Iet me show you.
187
00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:33,877
T-minus 1 0....
188
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:38,507
Every 2 4 hours, earthlings go
into a midday feeding frenzy.
189
00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:43,179
They refer to this bizarre ritual
as lunch.
190
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,066
Okay.
191
00:21:00,734 --> 00:21:04,670
AII right! At this rate, I shouId make
IeveI 300 by nightfaII.
192
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:09,238
I send greetings on behalf
of the people of our planet.
193
00:21:23,423 --> 00:21:25,448
Take that, earthIing.
194
00:21:43,109 --> 00:21:44,098
AII dead.
195
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:15,606
Candice, you're never gonna
beIieve it. Oh, my God.
196
00:22:20,847 --> 00:22:24,681
You know that saying,
''He who hesitates is lost''?
197
00:22:24,851 --> 00:22:27,285
I hate that saying.
198
00:22:49,242 --> 00:22:50,539
What?
199
00:23:26,179 --> 00:23:30,411
No! No, no!
200
00:23:47,067 --> 00:23:49,865
After feeding time,
Mr. Gigo led his class...
201
00:23:50,036 --> 00:23:51,901
...on a tour of the school basement.
202
00:23:52,072 --> 00:23:54,870
Showing them the wonders
of plumbing and heating...
203
00:23:55,041 --> 00:23:57,066
...as well as exposing them
to the risk...
204
00:23:57,243 --> 00:24:01,270
...of electrical shock, steam burns
and toxic waste.
205
00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:05,140
You're perfectIy safe as Iong
as you stay cIose to me...
206
00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:08,253
...foIIow the group
and don't go through those doors.
207
00:24:08,455 --> 00:24:12,721
Now, come this way
and don't touch anything.
208
00:24:36,182 --> 00:24:39,743
Hey. Where's Abe?
209
00:24:42,789 --> 00:24:44,416
WeII, where'd he go?
210
00:24:44,591 --> 00:24:49,654
Abraham Ashe, you're so chiIdish,
I can't even beIieve it.
211
00:24:56,136 --> 00:24:57,433
Beatrice?
212
00:24:57,604 --> 00:24:59,333
She's gone.
213
00:25:02,275 --> 00:25:06,871
I don't beIieve this.
PeopIe disappearing.
214
00:25:07,414 --> 00:25:10,349
First Abe, and then Beatrice.
215
00:25:11,651 --> 00:25:13,346
My God.
216
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,112
It's aIphabeticaI.
217
00:25:15,288 --> 00:25:19,281
-That means I'm next.
-WeII, either you or--
218
00:25:19,459 --> 00:25:21,154
-CameIia!
-CameIia!
219
00:25:22,796 --> 00:25:24,696
Oh, Mr. Gigo?
220
00:25:24,864 --> 00:25:28,197
-Oh, this is siIIy.
-No. No, no!
221
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:35,638
Sorry.
222
00:25:35,809 --> 00:25:37,936
Okay, Iet's spIit up and find them.
223
00:25:38,111 --> 00:25:40,409
I'm not so sure spIitting up
is such a good idea.
224
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:43,174
Yeah, he's right. In horror movies
the body count...
225
00:25:43,349 --> 00:25:46,250
...aIways skyrockets right after
the Iead characters spIit up.
226
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,212
That's right.
And it damn weII better.
227
00:25:56,162 --> 00:25:59,598
See? Just an ordinary corridor.
228
00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:03,133
StiII, I don't think
you shouId go aIone.
229
00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:05,533
I'II be okay.
230
00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:09,367
Thanks. It's nice to know
you're thinking of me.
231
00:26:17,417 --> 00:26:19,749
Candice. Candice!
232
00:26:21,054 --> 00:26:22,146
What's wrong?
233
00:26:23,323 --> 00:26:27,726
The door Iocked. I wanted
to make sure you were okay.
234
00:26:27,894 --> 00:26:30,260
-You're okay.
-I'm fine.
235
00:26:30,830 --> 00:26:35,358
I just thought maybe you'd feeI safer
if I went with you.
236
00:26:35,535 --> 00:26:38,231
I think we'd find them faster
if we spIit up.
237
00:26:38,404 --> 00:26:39,496
Yeah.
238
00:26:39,672 --> 00:26:41,936
-You can come with me if you want.
-No...
239
00:26:42,108 --> 00:26:44,599
...I'II check one of these other doors.
240
00:26:46,379 --> 00:26:51,316
But maybe sometime
we can go somewhere...
241
00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:53,118
...together.
242
00:26:54,554 --> 00:26:55,953
Sure, Norm.
243
00:26:57,056 --> 00:26:59,524
Okay, see you in about five minutes.
244
00:27:00,193 --> 00:27:02,388
What a girI.
245
00:27:04,297 --> 00:27:07,824
WeII, you guys heard her.
Let's go find them.
246
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,468
Wait a minute.
247
00:27:09,636 --> 00:27:11,900
I'm not going anywhere.
248
00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:16,506
I'm staying right here.
249
00:27:16,943 --> 00:27:19,878
I don't know what's down there.
I don't wanna find out.
250
00:27:20,046 --> 00:27:23,174
Oh, I bet you're Iots of fun
at parties, huh, PauI?
251
00:27:52,579 --> 00:27:55,742
O.D. 's search had taken him
far from his friends.
252
00:27:55,915 --> 00:28:00,648
A perfect opportunity to become
better acquainted with his inner self.
253
00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:21,500
Oh, hi.
254
00:28:23,776 --> 00:28:24,902
Adieu!
255
00:28:25,712 --> 00:28:27,942
You scared her away!
256
00:28:30,350 --> 00:28:32,215
Stupid!
257
00:28:32,986 --> 00:28:35,784
Though he didn't know where
he was going or how to get back...
258
00:28:35,955 --> 00:28:38,947
...to where he'd started,
Norm kept looking for his friends.
259
00:28:39,125 --> 00:28:41,923
Okay, you guys. I'm tired
of pIaying games.
260
00:28:47,066 --> 00:28:49,330
AII right, they're not there.
261
00:28:58,478 --> 00:29:04,178
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
We need heIp. Let's caII a temp.
262
00:29:04,350 --> 00:29:07,285
AII right, but you have to train her.
263
00:29:07,654 --> 00:29:09,121
DeaI.
264
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:18,161
Hi. Thanks for coming
on such short notice.
265
00:29:18,331 --> 00:29:20,629
Here's what I need you to do.
266
00:29:28,341 --> 00:29:30,332
That's it. That's it.
267
00:29:31,110 --> 00:29:33,635
Mr. Armageddon sat sucking
on a cocktail...
268
00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:37,112
...as Norm stumbled
into doomsday control.
269
00:29:37,283 --> 00:29:40,411
There's a dead guy chasing me.
Wait, he's not dead. He Iooks dead...
270
00:29:40,586 --> 00:29:43,646
...but he doesn't act dead.
He's kind of Iiving dead.
271
00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:46,257
It's a drink. You know,
what do they caII them?
272
00:29:46,426 --> 00:29:49,987
TaII gIass, rum, fruit juice,
paper umbreIIa?
273
00:29:50,363 --> 00:29:56,165
-Screwdriver?
-No, no! It's-- A zombie! That's--
274
00:30:10,783 --> 00:30:13,081
Be stiII.
275
00:30:13,586 --> 00:30:19,252
Didn't anyone ever teach you
to knock, boy?
276
00:30:19,592 --> 00:30:22,527
-Who are you?
-Mr. Armageddon.
277
00:30:23,863 --> 00:30:25,922
Armageddon?
278
00:30:26,599 --> 00:30:27,861
Like in the BibIe?
279
00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:29,733
The same.
280
00:30:30,737 --> 00:30:33,262
-You mean, this is--?
-What I mean is...
281
00:30:33,439 --> 00:30:37,170
...today is the end of the worId.
282
00:30:38,177 --> 00:30:40,008
Today is the end of the worId?
283
00:30:40,179 --> 00:30:43,114
-WeII, why?
-Why not?
284
00:30:43,683 --> 00:30:47,084
Why not? That's not a reason.
285
00:30:48,421 --> 00:30:53,188
Look, schooIboy. I'm taIking
about the end of the worId.
286
00:30:53,459 --> 00:30:56,724
Stop taIking about it and just do it.
287
00:30:56,896 --> 00:31:01,856
-Oh, I am. I am.
-Button it, bitch. I'm watching this.
288
00:31:02,034 --> 00:31:04,434
It's time.
289
00:31:04,604 --> 00:31:08,597
-How do you know it's time?
-It's the end of the miIIennium.
290
00:31:08,841 --> 00:31:11,366
-The time has come.
-Wait.
291
00:31:12,145 --> 00:31:15,376
It won't be the end of the miIIennium
untiI the year 2000.
292
00:31:15,548 --> 00:31:17,516
That's what you think.
293
00:31:18,317 --> 00:31:19,944
But your caIendar's wrong.
294
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:22,983
The caIendar's wrong?
295
00:31:23,222 --> 00:31:25,884
-Great.
-On the cosmic scaIe, boy...
296
00:31:26,058 --> 00:31:28,288
...Ieap years just don't cut it.
297
00:31:28,928 --> 00:31:32,329
Jeez, the end of the miIIennium.
298
00:31:32,865 --> 00:31:34,924
That is bad.
299
00:31:35,768 --> 00:31:39,295
The Iast time I came to Earth...
300
00:31:39,639 --> 00:31:41,903
...was to ice the dinosaurs.
301
00:31:42,074 --> 00:31:44,372
Now, that was fun.
302
00:31:44,811 --> 00:31:47,644
I suppose now you're gonna
kiII me.
303
00:31:47,814 --> 00:31:49,281
Oh, I don't think so.
304
00:31:49,549 --> 00:31:51,949
Something wiII kiII you eventuaIIy.
305
00:31:53,519 --> 00:31:55,487
That's the way it works.
306
00:31:55,655 --> 00:32:00,422
Besides, I have a job opening.
307
00:32:01,227 --> 00:32:04,890
I need a doomsday prophet.
308
00:32:05,064 --> 00:32:07,157
WouId you be interested?
309
00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:10,268
Not that you had any choice.
310
00:32:10,436 --> 00:32:13,234
Okay, weII, in that case...
311
00:32:13,406 --> 00:32:15,670
-...sure.
-Of course...
312
00:32:15,842 --> 00:32:18,310
...it's onIy a temporary position.
313
00:32:18,511 --> 00:32:21,639
And if you decide
to do the prophet routine...
314
00:32:21,814 --> 00:32:23,645
...and teII the peopIe the truth...
315
00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,180
...they won't beIieve you.
316
00:32:27,887 --> 00:32:31,186
That's what you said when you spiIIed
your guts to Nostradamus.
317
00:32:31,357 --> 00:32:32,346
BIabbermouth.
318
00:32:32,525 --> 00:32:38,327
They won't beIieve you,
and they won't notice the signs.
319
00:32:38,498 --> 00:32:40,398
Signs?
320
00:32:40,867 --> 00:32:42,334
What signs?
321
00:32:42,768 --> 00:32:46,226
There shaII be many signs...
322
00:32:46,405 --> 00:32:49,465
...and many wiII see them.
323
00:32:49,642 --> 00:32:52,042
But you aIone...
324
00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:55,606
...shaII know their meaning.
325
00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:05,885
And no one wiII beIieve you.
326
00:33:06,058 --> 00:33:08,151
Where--? Are you just
gonna Ieave me here?
327
00:33:08,327 --> 00:33:11,558
I'm certainIy not going
to take you with me.
328
00:33:20,540 --> 00:33:22,132
What a bummer.
329
00:33:22,308 --> 00:33:23,775
Wait a minute.
330
00:33:23,943 --> 00:33:26,138
I've got an idea.
331
00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:33,142
Get in there.
332
00:33:57,209 --> 00:33:59,370
I'II bet we have to pay extra for that.
333
00:34:06,619 --> 00:34:08,712
To understand
Dume and Glume's ineptness...
334
00:34:08,888 --> 00:34:11,118
...keep in mind
they were not bred to be fighters.
335
00:34:11,724 --> 00:34:13,316
In fact, on their home planet...
336
00:34:13,492 --> 00:34:15,687
...they were a third-rate
song-and-dance act.
337
00:34:15,861 --> 00:34:18,227
You got your penis
And your prostate and your ovaries
338
00:34:18,397 --> 00:34:20,763
-You got your fimbriae
-And your scrotum sac
339
00:34:20,933 --> 00:34:23,299
And if your hymen is gone
It ain't coming back
340
00:34:23,469 --> 00:34:25,061
But enough arts and entertainment.
341
00:34:25,237 --> 00:34:27,137
Let's catch up with Norm
and his friends.
342
00:34:57,136 --> 00:34:59,331
-Candice, you're aII right.
-Yeah, I'm aII right.
343
00:34:59,505 --> 00:35:02,804
-It's getting harder to stay that way.
-I'm reaIIy gIad you are, because--
344
00:35:02,975 --> 00:35:04,499
Because what?
345
00:35:04,677 --> 00:35:08,374
WeII, just because.
346
00:35:09,448 --> 00:35:12,246
-Because I wanted to--
-You guys.
347
00:35:12,618 --> 00:35:14,279
You guys.
348
00:35:14,553 --> 00:35:16,020
I aImost died back there.
349
00:35:16,188 --> 00:35:18,520
-Did you run into those space guys?
-Or the zombie?
350
00:35:18,691 --> 00:35:20,682
You guys saw a zombie?
351
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,590
-What zombie?
-What do you mean, ''What zombie?''
352
00:35:23,763 --> 00:35:27,790
-Is there more than one zombie?
-No. I mean, I don't know.
353
00:35:27,967 --> 00:35:30,026
What zombie?
354
00:35:30,202 --> 00:35:32,136
What spacemen?
355
00:35:32,304 --> 00:35:35,034
What are you taIking about?
What the heII is going on here?
356
00:35:35,207 --> 00:35:36,834
Okay, Iet's just take it easy.
357
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,874
We've got to find
the rest of the cIass.
358
00:35:39,045 --> 00:35:40,672
-Oh, yeah.
-Zombies?
359
00:35:46,619 --> 00:35:49,087
So much for the rest of the cIass.
360
00:35:50,956 --> 00:35:54,153
You guys, Iisten to me.
There's something I gotta teII you.
361
00:35:54,326 --> 00:35:58,422
Now, I know this is gonna
sound crazy, but today--
362
00:35:58,597 --> 00:36:00,861
What the heII is that?
363
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:05,526
Oh, it's my--
364
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:08,105
-It's my schooI project.
-Jeez, PauI.
365
00:36:08,274 --> 00:36:11,505
CouIdn't you have just copied
something out of the encycIopedia?
366
00:36:11,677 --> 00:36:14,737
-How's it going?
-PauI, get away from that thing.
367
00:36:19,351 --> 00:36:21,046
-You hungry?
-Yo, PauI.
368
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:23,586
You got any more of those things?
369
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:40,702
-O.D., got a Iight?
-Sure.
370
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,403
-How's this?
-Great.
371
00:37:33,025 --> 00:37:34,720
You guys.
372
00:37:35,227 --> 00:37:37,161
You smeII something burning?
373
00:37:37,329 --> 00:37:38,591
Yo, PauI.
374
00:37:51,744 --> 00:37:53,302
Great.
375
00:37:53,479 --> 00:37:55,674
My project is ruined...
376
00:37:55,848 --> 00:37:57,941
...and now my shoes are soaked.
377
00:37:58,117 --> 00:38:00,415
I hate to teII you, PauI...
378
00:38:00,586 --> 00:38:06,183
...but mummies and zombies
and wet shoes are the Ieast of it.
379
00:38:06,358 --> 00:38:09,816
-Today's the end of the worId.
-The end of the worId? Harsh.
380
00:38:12,398 --> 00:38:14,958
I'm serious, guys.
None of us shouId be aIone.
381
00:38:15,134 --> 00:38:17,125
Yeah, I guess he's right.
382
00:38:17,303 --> 00:38:20,761
But I think you two
can make it just fine without me.
383
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,768
I'II go keep an eye on the RepubIican
and keep him out of troubIe.
384
00:38:24,944 --> 00:38:27,139
I'II stay with Norm.
385
00:38:28,347 --> 00:38:30,212
Come on, Iet's go.
386
00:38:30,382 --> 00:38:31,644
Candice, Iook.
387
00:38:31,817 --> 00:38:34,684
I swear I saw this thing...
388
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:38,381
...in the teachers' Iounge, and it--
389
00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:43,050
Candice. Candice!
390
00:38:43,229 --> 00:38:45,629
Candice! Get out!
391
00:38:55,174 --> 00:38:57,665
Candice, you aII right?
392
00:38:57,843 --> 00:39:00,937
Damn. I broke a naiI.
393
00:39:03,115 --> 00:39:05,379
-What happened?
-Earthquake.
394
00:39:05,951 --> 00:39:07,816
One of the signs
of the end of the worId...
395
00:39:07,987 --> 00:39:10,148
...Mr. Armageddon
was teIIing me about.
396
00:39:12,057 --> 00:39:14,116
We're probabIy gonna get
a voIcano next.
397
00:39:14,293 --> 00:39:15,692
Norm?
398
00:39:15,861 --> 00:39:19,297
-Yeah.
-Try to stay caIm.
399
00:39:19,465 --> 00:39:21,695
I don't think it's gonna be
the end of the worId.
400
00:39:22,735 --> 00:39:24,498
It can't be.
401
00:39:24,670 --> 00:39:28,037
So just settIe down
and meet me above ground, okay?
402
00:39:28,207 --> 00:39:30,300
Yeah, aII right. AII right.
403
00:39:30,809 --> 00:39:33,039
-Candice?
-Yes?
404
00:39:33,345 --> 00:39:34,710
You be carefuI.
405
00:39:36,215 --> 00:39:37,773
Yeah.
406
00:39:38,984 --> 00:39:41,475
Instead of going to Candice...
407
00:39:41,654 --> 00:39:43,918
...Mr. Armageddon
lured her to him...
408
00:39:44,089 --> 00:39:47,855
...by using his low-wattage
telepathic powers.
409
00:39:48,027 --> 00:39:50,587
The grate.
410
00:39:52,331 --> 00:39:56,461
Come through the grate.
411
00:39:56,635 --> 00:39:58,603
That's the way.
412
00:40:01,707 --> 00:40:03,197
Hey, you guys, Iook at this.
413
00:40:03,375 --> 00:40:06,037
Hey, it Iooks Iike
Egbert's computer.
414
00:40:06,211 --> 00:40:08,076
Yeah, but it's been modified.
415
00:40:09,214 --> 00:40:11,774
You guys, Iisten to me.
I know this sounds crazy...
416
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:14,818
-...but today's the end of the worId.
-Today?
417
00:40:14,987 --> 00:40:17,581
-How come we don't know about it?
-I'm teIIing you now.
418
00:40:17,756 --> 00:40:20,054
You mean,
they Iaunched the missiIes?
419
00:40:20,225 --> 00:40:23,126
No, no, no. I mean,
it's the end of the worId.
420
00:40:23,529 --> 00:40:26,726
Don't be ridicuIous. I mean,
if it were the end of the worId...
421
00:40:26,899 --> 00:40:29,891
...science wouId have known about it
way ahead of time.
422
00:40:30,069 --> 00:40:32,503
Yeah, National Geographic
wouId do this big speciaI--
423
00:40:32,671 --> 00:40:35,572
Today's the end of the miIIennium.
And there's this guy....
424
00:40:35,741 --> 00:40:38,266
WeII, he's not Iike a guy.
He's a demon.
425
00:40:38,444 --> 00:40:42,039
WeII, he's not even a demon.
He's a doomsday with Iegs.
426
00:40:42,214 --> 00:40:45,877
Norm, this is not
the end of the miIIennium.
427
00:40:47,319 --> 00:40:52,450
I suppose you beIieve
in ghosts too, huh, Norm?
428
00:40:58,097 --> 00:40:59,462
Did you guys just feeI that?
429
00:41:00,366 --> 00:41:04,063
That earthquake? This is
bibIicaI stuff here, not fairy taIes.
430
00:41:04,236 --> 00:41:06,067
-Same thing.
-AII right, Iook.
431
00:41:06,238 --> 00:41:09,207
-We'II just go outside. I'II show you.
-Outside?
432
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:11,502
Why wouId we wanna go outside?
433
00:41:11,677 --> 00:41:14,305
It's much more efficient
just to access the data bank.
434
00:41:15,314 --> 00:41:18,010
Forget it. Just forget it.
435
00:41:20,052 --> 00:41:21,280
ProbabIy born-again.
436
00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:24,952
Let's see if we can hook
up with Egbert.
437
00:41:25,124 --> 00:41:26,523
Egbert?
438
00:41:26,692 --> 00:41:28,387
Are you there?
439
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,391
You might say that.
440
00:41:30,562 --> 00:41:32,496
Want to play a game?
441
00:41:49,281 --> 00:41:51,044
I know that scream.
442
00:41:53,452 --> 00:41:55,147
ReIax, honey.
443
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,312
You're not going anywhere.
444
00:42:01,627 --> 00:42:03,288
But who...?
445
00:42:03,929 --> 00:42:07,456
-I mean, what are you?
-I'm the Iiving end, baby.
446
00:42:07,633 --> 00:42:13,594
And you and me are going to party
tiII the end of the worId.
447
00:42:17,242 --> 00:42:19,972
-The worId is reaIIy coming to an end?
-Sure is.
448
00:42:20,145 --> 00:42:23,410
And you're Iooking at the guy
that's ending it.
449
00:42:26,251 --> 00:42:29,049
Candice? Candice, you in there?
450
00:42:32,357 --> 00:42:34,086
Now...
451
00:42:34,259 --> 00:42:36,489
...where were we?
452
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:49,540
Hot! Hot! Shit!
453
00:42:55,047 --> 00:42:56,480
Now...
454
00:42:56,648 --> 00:42:58,775
...Iet's start again.
455
00:43:18,537 --> 00:43:20,437
I don't...
456
00:43:20,906 --> 00:43:22,874
...beIieve it.
457
00:43:26,411 --> 00:43:30,404
That's it. He's spoiIed the moment.
458
00:43:31,316 --> 00:43:34,376
I was hoping so much...
459
00:43:35,020 --> 00:43:38,183
...that this wouId be so speciaI.
460
00:43:57,976 --> 00:43:59,238
Are you okay?
461
00:43:59,411 --> 00:44:01,879
-I heard you scream.
-I can't beIieve this.
462
00:44:02,047 --> 00:44:04,106
First he teIIs me
he's gonna end the worId.
463
00:44:04,283 --> 00:44:06,080
And then he tries to put
the make on me.
464
00:44:06,251 --> 00:44:07,616
That...
465
00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:09,285
...bastard!
466
00:44:09,454 --> 00:44:11,319
He's not onIy ending the worId...
467
00:44:11,490 --> 00:44:14,857
-...he's hitting on girIs too.
-Nothing happened to me. I'm okay.
468
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:18,394
-Thanks to you.
-I gotta stop him.
469
00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:22,759
But I need heIp.
Nobody beIieves me.
470
00:44:22,935 --> 00:44:25,768
-I beIieve you, Norm.
-You do?
471
00:44:25,938 --> 00:44:28,372
That's great. That--
That's great, Candice.
472
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:31,373
Because if you beIieve me,
other peopIe can beIieve me.
473
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:33,636
Let's go find Mr. Doe.
He'II know what to do.
474
00:44:34,446 --> 00:44:37,347
Mr. Doe, what do we do?
475
00:44:37,516 --> 00:44:39,211
I don't know.
476
00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:47,624
As soon as my shoes are dry,
everything wiII be back to normaI.
477
00:44:51,496 --> 00:44:53,259
It's a shame.
478
00:44:53,432 --> 00:44:55,730
I just put in new Stink Suckers
this morning.
479
00:44:55,901 --> 00:44:57,664
Hey, Iet me see that.
480
00:45:00,539 --> 00:45:02,370
Hey, PauI, maybe
you shouId read this.
481
00:45:02,541 --> 00:45:05,840
It says, ''Warning, do not expose
to microwave radiation.''
482
00:45:06,378 --> 00:45:09,347
-So, what couId happen?
-I don't know.
483
00:45:11,750 --> 00:45:14,014
Hey, the band's here.
484
00:45:19,191 --> 00:45:21,819
It can't be the end of the worId
if the band is here.
485
00:45:22,227 --> 00:45:25,162
That wouId make
absoIuteIy no sense whatsoever.
486
00:45:25,330 --> 00:45:28,231
I mean, it's gonna take them
forever just to unIoad that truck.
487
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,265
They're gonna need me.
488
00:45:45,717 --> 00:45:47,651
That shouId do it.
489
00:46:10,709 --> 00:46:12,336
PauI, have you seen Mr. Doe?
490
00:46:13,445 --> 00:46:15,743
No. No.
491
00:46:15,914 --> 00:46:18,178
No!
492
00:46:36,768 --> 00:46:38,429
PauI?
493
00:46:47,612 --> 00:46:49,443
PauI?
494
00:46:50,482 --> 00:46:52,780
Norm, get away from those shoes.
495
00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:00,283
PauI shouId have read this.
496
00:47:01,626 --> 00:47:03,457
What the heII is--?
497
00:47:21,546 --> 00:47:23,241
-This way.
-This way.
498
00:47:28,987 --> 00:47:30,147
Yo! Barf bag.
499
00:47:30,322 --> 00:47:33,189
-Norm, no!
-Come on. Come here.
500
00:47:39,998 --> 00:47:42,091
Oh, gross.
501
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,187
HoIy shit!
502
00:48:22,307 --> 00:48:25,970
Oh, Norm, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know it was you.
503
00:48:26,144 --> 00:48:27,805
That's okay. It's....
504
00:48:27,979 --> 00:48:29,776
Nice punch.
505
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:32,341
That was quite a stunt
you puIIed back there.
506
00:48:32,517 --> 00:48:34,382
I didn't want that thing to get to you.
507
00:48:34,553 --> 00:48:37,989
But I don't want you to go
and get yourseIf kiIIed just for me.
508
00:48:38,523 --> 00:48:40,184
I don't mind.
509
00:48:42,260 --> 00:48:45,024
Norm? What was it
you were trying to teII me...
510
00:48:45,197 --> 00:48:47,427
...just before the earthquake?
511
00:48:50,602 --> 00:48:52,331
Let me see.
512
00:48:52,504 --> 00:48:54,870
You know, about how gIad
you were...
513
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,270
...because I was stiII aIive and....
514
00:48:57,442 --> 00:48:59,637
Yeah, because....
515
00:49:00,579 --> 00:49:03,912
-Because?
-Because....
516
00:49:04,983 --> 00:49:07,713
-What?
-That!
517
00:49:11,456 --> 00:49:13,720
Quick. In here.
518
00:49:18,363 --> 00:49:19,921
What is this pIace?
519
00:49:20,098 --> 00:49:23,397
It's for sex education cIasses.
520
00:49:24,102 --> 00:49:27,503
WeII, I took sex ed,
and I never got in here.
521
00:49:27,672 --> 00:49:30,266
You probabIy weren't
in the advanced section.
522
00:49:30,442 --> 00:49:31,739
-I took--
-You took band.
523
00:49:31,910 --> 00:49:33,400
Yeah. Yeah.
524
00:49:33,845 --> 00:49:37,838
Listen, Norm, I was just thinking...
525
00:49:39,317 --> 00:49:41,751
...if the worId ends...
526
00:49:42,387 --> 00:49:45,686
...and I have to die,
I don't wanna die a virgin.
527
00:49:45,857 --> 00:49:47,484
Boy, me neither.
528
00:49:47,659 --> 00:49:52,187
I mean, it does seem
Iike a terribIe waste, doesn't it?
529
00:49:54,666 --> 00:49:56,361
So I was wondering...
530
00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:59,527
...if you couId heIp me make sure
that doesn't happen.
531
00:50:01,273 --> 00:50:02,831
You mean, you...
532
00:50:03,008 --> 00:50:04,737
...me...
533
00:50:04,910 --> 00:50:06,639
...together?
534
00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:10,541
Are you just saying that...
535
00:50:10,715 --> 00:50:13,183
...because you think
we're gonna die?
536
00:50:14,786 --> 00:50:16,754
No.
537
00:50:17,856 --> 00:50:21,485
I just want you to know
how much I Iike you.
538
00:50:22,327 --> 00:50:24,955
-But if you don't want to, that's okay.
-No.
539
00:50:28,333 --> 00:50:30,699
I Iike you too.
540
00:50:32,504 --> 00:50:33,994
Wait.
541
00:50:35,073 --> 00:50:38,270
So you were in advanced sex ed?
542
00:50:39,044 --> 00:50:42,172
Yeah, but it was mostIy
a Iot of theory.
543
00:50:54,626 --> 00:50:58,892
Oh, Candice. Oh, Candice!
Oh, Candice!
544
00:51:00,365 --> 00:51:03,528
-Yes! Norm, Norm, yes!
-Where did you Iearn to do that?
545
00:51:05,503 --> 00:51:07,437
Hey, hey, hey.
546
00:51:09,374 --> 00:51:13,310
-Candice.
-That was fun. Let's do it again.
547
00:51:17,482 --> 00:51:19,143
Quick, in here.
548
00:51:26,558 --> 00:51:29,391
Now, Iook.
This is a scientific probIem.
549
00:51:29,561 --> 00:51:33,088
Yeah. And science is going
to soIve it.
550
00:51:33,264 --> 00:51:35,892
-ChaIk, Miss Thrope.
-CertainIy, Mr. Doe.
551
00:51:38,570 --> 00:51:39,867
But pIease...
552
00:51:41,439 --> 00:51:42,770
...caII me Anne.
553
00:51:49,514 --> 00:51:50,503
No.
554
00:51:54,119 --> 00:51:55,381
Checkmate.
555
00:51:55,553 --> 00:51:57,987
Listen up, gentlemen.
556
00:51:58,156 --> 00:52:00,624
There's one move
you've overlooked.
557
00:52:00,792 --> 00:52:02,760
What move?
558
00:52:14,472 --> 00:52:16,872
-It turned off.
-What the heII happened?
559
00:52:17,108 --> 00:52:20,202
Take it easy. No probIem.
560
00:52:20,912 --> 00:52:24,313
You guys pIay acoustic.
I'II go check the fuse box.
561
00:52:30,021 --> 00:52:34,788
Power! I need more power!
562
00:52:38,596 --> 00:52:40,154
Yes!
563
00:52:41,633 --> 00:52:43,328
Yes!
564
00:52:43,868 --> 00:52:46,962
No, no, no. That's stiII not it.
565
00:52:47,138 --> 00:52:48,867
You know, it seems to me...
566
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,406
...that each time we attacked
that pIant, it grew.
567
00:52:51,576 --> 00:52:54,568
Which means each time it's attacked,
there's more pIant to attack.
568
00:52:55,947 --> 00:52:58,780
And the more it's attacked,
the more of it there is.
569
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:01,081
In hours, it wiII be unstoppabIe.
570
00:53:02,253 --> 00:53:03,880
That's it.
571
00:53:04,289 --> 00:53:07,224
That's it. Miss Thrope,
you're a genius.
572
00:53:07,392 --> 00:53:08,620
Thanks.
573
00:53:08,793 --> 00:53:11,318
But pIease, Jon...
574
00:53:11,496 --> 00:53:13,464
...caII me Anne.
575
00:53:15,967 --> 00:53:17,958
-Anne?
-Anne.
576
00:53:19,037 --> 00:53:22,404
We have to warn the others
before it's too Iate.
577
00:53:27,946 --> 00:53:30,608
Okay, Miss Thrope.
The coast is cIear.
578
00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:33,016
Wait.
579
00:53:33,184 --> 00:53:34,981
Do you hear that?
580
00:53:36,187 --> 00:53:39,418
Mr. Doe and Miss Thrope
barely escaped with their lives.
581
00:53:39,591 --> 00:53:42,492
And then night fell.
582
00:53:45,096 --> 00:53:46,393
Yo!
583
00:53:48,399 --> 00:53:51,061
My pIant. AII right, Mr. Doe...
584
00:53:51,236 --> 00:53:54,672
...that is some
high-powered horticuIture.
585
00:53:56,541 --> 00:53:59,704
O.D., watch out.
That weed is dangerous.
586
00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:04,013
No. That's just what they teII you.
587
00:54:04,649 --> 00:54:06,241
There's nothing we can do.
588
00:54:09,554 --> 00:54:11,613
It's too Iate for O.D.
589
00:54:14,025 --> 00:54:16,516
If he just said no....
590
00:54:20,932 --> 00:54:23,924
Mr. Doe's gotta be
in here somewhere.
591
00:54:29,541 --> 00:54:31,475
Mr. Doe!
592
00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:34,540
My God, man. Who's your taiIor?
593
00:54:34,712 --> 00:54:35,736
Oh, no.
594
00:54:41,619 --> 00:54:43,109
Damn that guy.
595
00:54:46,090 --> 00:54:47,785
Come on.
596
00:54:52,430 --> 00:54:53,897
HoId your fire.
597
00:54:54,065 --> 00:54:57,000
As the prophet of doomsday,
I command you to....
598
00:54:57,902 --> 00:55:02,032
-To go away.
-Don't push it, Norm.
599
00:55:02,207 --> 00:55:04,801
You're on a first-name basis...
600
00:55:04,976 --> 00:55:06,534
...with this thing?
601
00:55:07,111 --> 00:55:09,545
Upon seeing Candice,
Mr. Armageddon once again...
602
00:55:09,714 --> 00:55:12,274
...attempted to seduce her
with his personal charm.
603
00:55:12,450 --> 00:55:13,815
I know what pIeases you.
604
00:55:57,095 --> 00:55:59,325
A fright, Norm!
605
00:56:00,832 --> 00:56:05,201
I caII this one my napaIm knuckIer.
606
00:56:12,944 --> 00:56:17,847
I caught it on the fIy.
So you're out.
607
00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:24,787
Enough of these fun and games.
608
00:56:24,956 --> 00:56:26,685
Now, where were we?
609
00:56:26,858 --> 00:56:30,157
-I was going to squash you Iike a bug.
-Wait!
610
00:56:30,328 --> 00:56:32,057
Instead of squashing them
like a bug...
611
00:56:32,230 --> 00:56:34,698
...Mr. Armageddon fell
for the oldest trick in the book.
612
00:56:34,866 --> 00:56:36,993
Trust me. You'II Iove this.
613
00:56:37,435 --> 00:56:40,598
This had better be good.
614
00:56:48,079 --> 00:56:50,570
-Coach?
-CIose the door!
615
00:56:52,650 --> 00:56:55,619
Coach, what I've got to say here
is kind of important.
616
00:56:55,853 --> 00:56:57,650
BasketbaII is important.
617
00:56:57,822 --> 00:57:00,757
Look, son, this team
has got a game to win...
618
00:57:00,925 --> 00:57:03,086
...and a point spread to beat,
so hit the road!
619
00:57:03,261 --> 00:57:04,922
-Yeah, hit the road.
-Look...
620
00:57:05,196 --> 00:57:08,097
...whiIe you and your team
have been watching movies...
621
00:57:08,266 --> 00:57:10,359
...reaIity's been going to heII!
622
00:57:10,535 --> 00:57:12,264
Now, I'm the prophet
of doomsday...
623
00:57:12,437 --> 00:57:15,133
...and I can give you
and your team...
624
00:57:15,306 --> 00:57:19,402
-...the chance to save the worId.
-What's in it for me?
625
00:57:20,211 --> 00:57:22,805
Picture yourseIf on this cover...
626
00:57:24,315 --> 00:57:28,877
...with the caption
''Coach of the MiIIennium.''
627
00:57:30,054 --> 00:57:35,151
You're proposing to bet
the very existence of your worId...
628
00:57:35,326 --> 00:57:38,386
...on the outcome of a game?
629
00:57:38,563 --> 00:57:40,690
We do it every day.
630
00:57:40,865 --> 00:57:43,857
It's not within my power...
631
00:57:44,035 --> 00:57:47,971
...to canceI doomsday.
632
00:57:48,639 --> 00:57:52,075
But we couId rescheduIe it.
633
00:57:52,243 --> 00:57:56,111
How about, say,
another 1 000 years?
634
00:57:56,314 --> 00:57:57,576
I accept.
635
00:57:57,749 --> 00:58:01,913
They'II pIay for your worId.
636
00:58:02,086 --> 00:58:03,485
What if the game's a tie?
637
00:58:04,522 --> 00:58:06,114
Sudden death.
638
00:58:06,324 --> 00:58:10,226
-You mean overtime.
-I mean...
639
00:58:10,461 --> 00:58:12,622
...sudden...
640
00:58:12,897 --> 00:58:15,525
...death.
641
00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:18,100
But you have to promise
to pIay by the ruIes.
642
00:58:18,269 --> 00:58:22,603
Why shouId I make any promises?
643
00:58:23,107 --> 00:58:24,938
Because...
644
00:58:25,109 --> 00:58:29,068
...you may be abIe to destroy us,
but you can't make us pIay with you.
645
00:58:29,247 --> 00:58:34,685
I'II see you on the court.
646
00:59:30,208 --> 00:59:32,904
God, what happens
if he doesn't show?
647
00:59:33,144 --> 00:59:34,475
Oh, he'II show.
648
00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:41,741
You boys Iooking for me?
649
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,880
-No, sir.
-Come on.
650
00:59:45,089 --> 00:59:47,785
You guys get on my nerves!
651
00:59:47,959 --> 00:59:51,156
Shipping crate? Orange sphere?
652
00:59:51,329 --> 00:59:53,661
I am...
653
00:59:53,865 --> 00:59:57,301
...the doomsday device!
654
01:00:12,817 --> 01:00:14,307
You suck!
655
01:01:04,902 --> 01:01:07,336
WeIcome to the basketbaII game
of the miIIennium.
656
01:01:07,538 --> 01:01:09,938
This couId truIy be the game
to end aII games.
657
01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:13,143
It's man versus monster,
terror versus taIent.
658
01:01:13,311 --> 01:01:15,279
Can the undefeated
Screaming BIue Demons...
659
01:01:15,446 --> 01:01:17,380
...extend their
home-court winning streak...
660
01:01:17,548 --> 01:01:20,039
...or wiII it end
aIong with everything eIse?
661
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:21,879
OnIy time wiII teII.
662
01:01:29,794 --> 01:01:32,854
-That guy's out of the game.
-TechnicaI fouI, number 1 3 red.
663
01:01:33,164 --> 01:01:35,997
UnsportsmanIike conduct.
664
01:01:37,568 --> 01:01:39,559
Fight! Fight! Fight!
665
01:01:39,770 --> 01:01:43,035
WiII someone pIease bring a body bag
to the scorekeeper's tabIe?
666
01:01:44,408 --> 01:01:47,639
Jesus, what have I started here?
667
01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:58,578
Another computerized fieId goaI.
668
01:02:04,395 --> 01:02:06,556
-Score it!
-Number 40...
669
01:02:06,731 --> 01:02:09,791
...Danny Divine.
670
01:02:14,171 --> 01:02:15,968
Come on! Pick him up!
671
01:02:16,140 --> 01:02:19,075
That computer guy
has made every shot!
672
01:02:19,243 --> 01:02:21,837
There's no way
he's reguIation equipment.
673
01:02:22,046 --> 01:02:24,173
That's not fair.
674
01:02:25,016 --> 01:02:28,144
Come on! I've got an idea
how we can even things up.
675
01:02:32,923 --> 01:02:35,551
Timeout on the fIoor.
676
01:02:57,715 --> 01:02:59,148
So, what are we Iooking for?
677
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:03,344
You can speak up, Norm.
After aII, it is the end of the worId.
678
01:03:04,021 --> 01:03:07,047
I know, I know. I can't heIp it.
679
01:03:11,762 --> 01:03:13,923
What are we Iooking for?
680
01:03:14,632 --> 01:03:18,398
A book that wiII show us
how to reprogram that computer.
681
01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:25,072
-Damn!
-Don't teII me.
682
01:03:25,242 --> 01:03:28,734
-Yep. Checked out.
-Great.
683
01:03:42,193 --> 01:03:43,922
Bucket is good.
684
01:03:44,095 --> 01:03:47,258
And that buzzer brings
to a cIose the first period.
685
01:04:17,695 --> 01:04:19,720
What the heII? MeI!
686
01:04:19,964 --> 01:04:21,898
Norm! That's the book.
687
01:04:27,071 --> 01:04:31,098
Watch out. Watch out.
Oh, that zombie's got a gun!
688
01:04:54,031 --> 01:04:56,591
Okay, now Iet's take a Iook
at this book.
689
01:04:56,901 --> 01:04:58,300
Yeah, this is it.
690
01:05:11,081 --> 01:05:13,743
Candice! Candice, the gun!
691
01:05:16,253 --> 01:05:19,313
Shoot him! Shoot him!
692
01:05:20,624 --> 01:05:22,216
Shoot him!
693
01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:25,258
His head! Shoot him in the head!
694
01:05:25,429 --> 01:05:27,989
Candice, the gun! The gun!
695
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,427
Candice!
696
01:05:31,969 --> 01:05:33,095
Norm, no!
697
01:05:40,478 --> 01:05:42,503
Oh, no.
698
01:05:42,847 --> 01:05:45,042
Not again.
699
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:50,582
Look, I've about had it
with this nightmare crap.
700
01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:53,187
MeI! Get away from that thing.
701
01:05:53,357 --> 01:05:56,918
-It just kiIIed Norm!
-Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
702
01:05:57,761 --> 01:06:01,197
Now, do you wanna kiII me?
Fine, go ahead.
703
01:06:01,432 --> 01:06:05,027
-Just kiII me so I can wake up.
-MeI...
704
01:06:05,202 --> 01:06:08,899
...this isn't a dream.
You're aIready awake.
705
01:06:09,073 --> 01:06:11,735
Candice, pIease. Of course
you don't think it's a dream.
706
01:06:11,909 --> 01:06:13,433
It's my dream.
707
01:06:13,611 --> 01:06:16,171
Now, you wanna rip my head off?
708
01:06:17,414 --> 01:06:20,679
Come on, I'm waiting.
709
01:06:22,419 --> 01:06:24,319
Oh, how about this?
710
01:06:26,891 --> 01:06:30,327
You can cut my heart out.
You wanna cut my heart right out?
711
01:06:30,995 --> 01:06:33,896
Here. Come on, come on.
712
01:06:35,499 --> 01:06:38,900
Hey, I'm supposed to wake up.
713
01:06:40,170 --> 01:06:41,899
I'm not gonna wake up, am I?
714
01:06:44,808 --> 01:06:46,275
You mean, this thing's for reaI?
715
01:06:48,445 --> 01:06:50,140
Son of a bitch.
716
01:06:50,481 --> 01:06:52,779
I don't wanna die again.
717
01:06:53,217 --> 01:06:55,913
I've been dying aII day.
718
01:07:25,149 --> 01:07:26,946
No!
719
01:07:47,037 --> 01:07:48,527
Candice.
720
01:07:55,012 --> 01:07:56,809
Is she gonna be okay?
721
01:07:59,516 --> 01:08:01,006
I don't know.
722
01:08:11,729 --> 01:08:13,253
Norm?
723
01:08:14,732 --> 01:08:18,099
-I thought you were dead.
-Yeah, weII....
724
01:08:18,302 --> 01:08:21,635
It's Iucky for me
the Iibrary's on the first fIoor.
725
01:08:23,273 --> 01:08:25,207
WiII you stop being so modest?
726
01:08:28,012 --> 01:08:31,539
You saved my Iife. And yours too.
727
01:08:32,282 --> 01:08:34,273
That's more than once today.
728
01:08:34,585 --> 01:08:37,520
Yeah, who's counting?
729
01:08:38,288 --> 01:08:42,281
-Are you aII right?
-It's just a bite, it'II heaI.
730
01:08:42,793 --> 01:08:44,761
If you guys are up for it...
731
01:08:47,464 --> 01:08:49,591
...we got a worId to save.
732
01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:53,769
I'm ready, Iet's go.
733
01:08:54,672 --> 01:08:56,230
What a girI.
734
01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:58,975
Wait a minute, Norm.
735
01:09:00,277 --> 01:09:03,212
Are you sure this thing is dead?
736
01:09:11,555 --> 01:09:13,113
Dead enough.
737
01:09:17,161 --> 01:09:18,788
In the final seconds
of the half...
738
01:09:18,962 --> 01:09:21,260
...the varsity team struggled
to stay alive.
739
01:09:21,865 --> 01:09:24,493
They were down six points
and two--
740
01:09:28,439 --> 01:09:31,670
Correction, three players.
741
01:09:32,176 --> 01:09:34,736
Did anyone--?
Did anyone ever Iearn CPR?
742
01:09:36,747 --> 01:09:39,545
Here it is, machine Ianguage.
743
01:09:39,817 --> 01:09:42,285
That stuff Iooks pretty compIicated.
744
01:09:42,619 --> 01:09:45,554
WeII, we onIy have untiI the end
of the worId to figure it out.
745
01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,520
Great.
746
01:09:47,691 --> 01:09:50,353
How Iong is a basketbaII game,
anyways?
747
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:05,600
I have no idea why this thing's
not working.
748
01:10:05,876 --> 01:10:08,037
Hey, you got any ideas, MeI?
749
01:10:08,445 --> 01:10:10,345
MeI, you're not Iooking too hot.
750
01:10:10,547 --> 01:10:12,606
Oh, no!
751
01:10:14,218 --> 01:10:16,118
That's the Iast time I save his Iife.
752
01:10:18,655 --> 01:10:20,987
I'II distract him.
You get that program to run.
753
01:10:22,926 --> 01:10:24,621
Be carefuI!
754
01:10:25,662 --> 01:10:29,530
Don't worry!
It's timing, gentIemen.
755
01:10:32,936 --> 01:10:34,369
No, that's not it.
756
01:10:37,207 --> 01:10:38,538
That's definiteIy not it.
757
01:10:39,676 --> 01:10:41,871
Here! Come on!
758
01:10:42,045 --> 01:10:44,343
Come on. Yes! That's it!
759
01:10:44,548 --> 01:10:47,415
We did it! That computer's
gonna do what we want now.
760
01:10:53,423 --> 01:10:56,859
I think you got--
Candice, I think you got--
761
01:10:57,161 --> 01:11:01,063
You know, I think this movie vioIence
is just getting a IittIe out of hand.
762
01:11:09,106 --> 01:11:11,768
You! You're out of here!
763
01:11:12,075 --> 01:11:14,669
Is there anyone with
medicaI experience in the buiIding?
764
01:11:17,047 --> 01:11:20,915
Oh, SIinky's down, Rufus is down,
there's bIood everywhere.
765
01:11:21,185 --> 01:11:23,813
-How we doing?
-Not good.
766
01:11:23,987 --> 01:11:26,888
AII right. There's stiII a IittIe time
Ieft, it's anybody's game.
767
01:11:27,057 --> 01:11:30,925
No, it's Danny's game.
He's the onIy pIayer I've got Ieft.
768
01:11:31,094 --> 01:11:32,891
Harsh.
769
01:11:33,463 --> 01:11:36,023
-You better put me in the game.
-Can you pIay?
770
01:11:36,200 --> 01:11:39,328
No. But we've got a pIan.
771
01:11:39,536 --> 01:11:43,802
-It's my baII game now.
-AII right, I'II teII the scorekeeper.
772
01:11:47,778 --> 01:11:50,110
I Iove a man in uniform.
773
01:11:50,647 --> 01:11:53,207
Get back in the game, boy.
You can do it.
774
01:11:53,383 --> 01:11:55,544
Checking in, number 2 4...
775
01:11:56,119 --> 01:11:57,416
...Norm Median.
776
01:12:05,629 --> 01:12:07,824
No, Norm! Wrong team, wrong team.
777
01:12:31,255 --> 01:12:33,052
Great!
778
01:12:37,527 --> 01:12:41,019
Wrong goaI, machine.
779
01:12:56,947 --> 01:12:59,108
Me! Me!
780
01:13:00,984 --> 01:13:02,508
Thank you.
781
01:13:06,690 --> 01:13:07,918
He does it again.
782
01:13:08,091 --> 01:13:11,060
The computer monitor scores
another two points for the Demons.
783
01:13:11,595 --> 01:13:13,358
And the game is tied at 66.
784
01:13:48,565 --> 01:13:50,157
Guard him!
785
01:14:01,078 --> 01:14:02,102
You're out of the game.
786
01:14:02,279 --> 01:14:03,974
Mr. Armageddon's team
is on the bench.
787
01:14:04,147 --> 01:14:07,275
The varsity team is in the morgue.
With seven seconds remaining...
788
01:14:07,451 --> 01:14:10,420
...and the score tied, this game
has come down to one-on-one.
789
01:14:11,021 --> 01:14:13,922
I hope you said your prayers.
790
01:14:14,091 --> 01:14:15,683
Amen.
791
01:14:15,859 --> 01:14:17,292
Remember...
792
01:14:17,661 --> 01:14:19,322
...a tie....
793
01:14:19,730 --> 01:14:22,563
I know, I know. Sudden death.
794
01:14:22,766 --> 01:14:25,496
You know, you reaIIy Iook stupid
when you repeat yourseIf.
795
01:14:42,019 --> 01:14:43,748
Go, Norm.
796
01:16:31,962 --> 01:16:35,056
It's good! I don't beIieve it!
He did it!
797
01:16:35,232 --> 01:16:38,690
He did it! That's it!
It's aII over! The finaI score:
798
01:16:38,869 --> 01:16:41,804
Home, 68. Monsters, 66.
799
01:16:42,005 --> 01:16:47,272
And scoring the winning basket,
number 2 4, Norm Median!
800
01:16:57,687 --> 01:16:59,018
WeII...
801
01:16:59,389 --> 01:17:02,085
...I guess now we find out
if you're a man of your word.
802
01:17:03,493 --> 01:17:07,953
I'II see you again...
803
01:17:08,265 --> 01:17:11,666
...in 1 000 years.
804
01:17:13,270 --> 01:17:14,362
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
805
01:17:14,538 --> 01:17:16,870
Norm! Norm! Norm!
806
01:17:40,030 --> 01:17:43,488
That guy reaIIy traveIs in styIe.
807
01:17:43,833 --> 01:17:45,528
Norm...
808
01:17:46,002 --> 01:17:48,994
...just shut up and kiss me.
809
01:17:52,876 --> 01:17:54,673
Hey.
810
01:17:55,946 --> 01:17:57,504
-O.D.?
-O.D.?
811
01:17:57,681 --> 01:17:59,410
Are you guys stuck together?
812
01:18:00,984 --> 01:18:02,474
Man...
813
01:18:02,652 --> 01:18:05,815
-...we thought you were dead.
-No, not yet.
814
01:18:05,989 --> 01:18:11,518
-But I'm way buzzed.
-What about that kiIIer pIant?
815
01:18:12,596 --> 01:18:14,587
Oh, that? It's stiII pretty kiIIer.
816
01:18:16,466 --> 01:18:18,957
-Let's get out of here.
-What happened to you guys?
817
01:18:19,135 --> 01:18:21,262
What happened? Hey, what is that?
Is that a Ieg?
818
01:18:21,438 --> 01:18:26,501
This is your narrator,
Sliza Beealzeberg, saying so long.
819
01:18:44,861 --> 01:18:49,025
Don't even think about it,
you amateur.
820
01:19:01,745 --> 01:19:03,042
Never hire a reIative.
821
01:23:55,805 --> 01:23:58,171
Oh, shit.
822
01:23:59,305 --> 01:24:05,874
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