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1
00:00:03,262 --> 00:00:05,788
DAN: Uh... can-can I come in for a sec?
2
00:00:05,813 --> 00:00:07,859
Yes. Sure.
3
00:00:08,527 --> 00:00:10,927
Uh, I-I was gonna call you,
4
00:00:10,959 --> 00:00:14,296
but then I thought I'd wake you,
so I just, uh...
5
00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:17,507
Well, this, uh, brings us here...
6
00:00:17,532 --> 00:00:18,982
Me waking you up anyway.
7
00:00:19,007 --> 00:00:20,967
- Yeah.
- Is it o-okay
8
00:00:20,992 --> 00:00:23,514
- if I just, uh, sit? Yeah?
- Yes.
9
00:00:23,539 --> 00:00:24,570
Good.
10
00:00:25,554 --> 00:00:27,703
All right, so, uh...
11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,528
Yeah, um...
12
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,649
Look, we've only known
each other a couple days,
13
00:00:33,674 --> 00:00:36,351
but I think there's something here.
14
00:00:36,590 --> 00:00:39,522
And I'm pretty sure you feel it, too.
15
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,264
Yeah. I mean, no, I...
16
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:44,817
You got my head spinning.
17
00:00:44,852 --> 00:00:47,086
I can't stop thinking about you.
18
00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:49,328
But I'm dating your cousin.
19
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,701
I feel terrible about that. Um...
20
00:00:51,726 --> 00:00:53,139
And I'm happy with him.
21
00:00:53,164 --> 00:00:55,261
Because Marco's a great guy.
Of course you like him.
22
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:56,952
All girls like him. Everyone likes him.
23
00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:58,610
But that's still not the same thing
24
00:00:58,635 --> 00:01:00,523
that's going on between us.
25
00:01:03,445 --> 00:01:05,214
Yes,
26
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,439
maybe there's something here.
27
00:01:08,781 --> 00:01:11,460
- But, Dan...
- What? What?
28
00:01:13,226 --> 00:01:15,342
You're a disaster.
29
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,317
- Well, I-I'm not a disaster. I...
- Yes.
30
00:01:18,342 --> 00:01:19,671
Every day since you've been home,
31
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:21,414
you've done something disastrous.
32
00:01:21,439 --> 00:01:24,033
Well, it's been a rough week.
But it's-it's hard to defend.
33
00:01:24,058 --> 00:01:25,992
No, no, no, no, no.
34
00:01:26,017 --> 00:01:28,017
I can't date another disaster.
35
00:01:28,062 --> 00:01:29,804
My last boyfriend was a drummer,
36
00:01:29,829 --> 00:01:31,787
and the one before
that had a food truck.
37
00:01:31,812 --> 00:01:33,232
- So...
- Okay.
38
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:36,859
I've obviously been flirting with you.
39
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:38,592
You have.
40
00:01:38,617 --> 00:01:39,950
And I shouldn't have.
41
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,508
Look...
42
00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:44,101
I have five days left here.
43
00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:46,664
Let's see what this is.
44
00:01:49,453 --> 00:01:51,068
I want to give it a shot with Marco.
45
00:01:51,093 --> 00:01:53,104
- Look, Cora, no, you can't...
- Dan.
46
00:01:53,903 --> 00:01:55,437
Please.
47
00:02:13,727 --> 00:02:15,867
Have yourself
48
00:02:16,242 --> 00:02:19,576
A merry little Christmas
49
00:02:19,601 --> 00:02:20,965
Ugh.
50
00:02:21,273 --> 00:02:23,334
Let your heart
51
00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:26,359
- Be glad
- [PHONE BUZZES]
52
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,709
From now on
53
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,911
Our troubles
54
00:02:32,936 --> 00:02:37,156
Will be out of sight...
55
00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,655
Okay. Uh, thank you.
56
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,801
- _
- Yeah, I guess I'll talk to you later.
57
00:02:45,826 --> 00:02:47,292
Thank you for having me.
58
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:48,781
ELENA: I'll see you later.
59
00:02:49,462 --> 00:02:51,460
Thank you for having me?
60
00:02:52,921 --> 00:02:54,429
Oh, hey, lads.
61
00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:55,720
- Hey.
- Hey.
62
00:02:55,745 --> 00:02:57,612
Mind if I join you?
63
00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:58,953
I guess.
64
00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:02,398
[ROARING, SHOOTING ON TABLET]
65
00:03:03,454 --> 00:03:05,164
What are we watching?
66
00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:06,476
Something with aliens.
67
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:08,576
- Are we married to that?
- Nah.
68
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:10,945
- Nah.
- The answer I was looking for.
69
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,218
Do you guys like World
War II documentaries?
70
00:03:14,243 --> 00:03:16,844
SEAN SR.: Yes, Monsignor.
I'm bringing my A game.
71
00:03:16,869 --> 00:03:18,585
Okay, I'll see you tonight.
72
00:03:19,171 --> 00:03:22,103
Girls, you are looking at tonight's
73
00:03:22,128 --> 00:03:24,820
Midnight Mass... lector.
74
00:03:24,845 --> 00:03:26,008
- BRIDGET: Oh, my God!
- Honey, you did it.
75
00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:27,898
What is it... Ten years in the making?
76
00:03:27,923 --> 00:03:29,843
15, and it took Steve
Lombardo going down
77
00:03:29,868 --> 00:03:31,968
with a tracheotomy,
but it still feels sweet.
78
00:03:31,993 --> 00:03:34,889
- What are you reading?
- I am reading...
79
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:37,490
a little something from the book of...
80
00:03:37,515 --> 00:03:38,576
[CLEARS THROAT]
81
00:03:38,601 --> 00:03:39,883
Oh, boy.
82
00:03:40,009 --> 00:03:42,326
"Ecclesi-ass-tuh."
83
00:03:42,351 --> 00:03:43,715
[LAUGHS]
84
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,826
"Ecclesi-at-ees." "Ecclesi-at-ees."
85
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,039
"Ecclesi-asum." I've-I've always
86
00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:50,498
- had trouble with this one.
- Yeah.
87
00:03:50,523 --> 00:03:52,476
Hon, get out of your head,
'cause you got this.
88
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,414
Why would you say that to me now, okay?
89
00:03:54,439 --> 00:03:57,606
They couldn't have picked, like,
a Joshua or a, you know, Paul?
90
00:03:57,631 --> 00:04:01,521
You know,
I'm gonna take Leon for his walk.
91
00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:02,611
Small reminder.
92
00:04:02,636 --> 00:04:04,502
- What?
- Just the family tonight.
93
00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:06,615
No stragglers, no random addicts.
94
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,382
This is really important to me.
95
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,719
I heard you the first two times.
96
00:04:10,744 --> 00:04:12,310
Come on, Leon Redbone.
97
00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:14,531
You can do this.
98
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:16,434
- Come on.
- No, you need...
99
00:04:16,459 --> 00:04:18,328
You need the, uh,
peanut butter pretzels.
100
00:04:18,353 --> 00:04:20,920
I tried.
He's getting pickier and pickier.
101
00:04:20,945 --> 00:04:22,664
Yeah, it's 'cause he's...
102
00:04:22,689 --> 00:04:24,703
slowly turning into a footstool.
103
00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:27,795
- He can't see or taste anything.
- It's getting sad.
104
00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:30,554
Sad like it's getting to be that time,
do you think?
105
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:33,460
What, 18 years?
That's a good run for a lab.
106
00:04:33,485 --> 00:04:35,531
You kidding me?
Those are Chihuahua numbers.
107
00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:40,437
I'll talk to your mom after New Year's.
108
00:04:43,643 --> 00:04:45,375
- I'm going to bed.
- No, you're not.
109
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,056
You're leaving for the
shelter with your dad
110
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,280
- in 20.
- I didn't sleep much last night.
111
00:04:49,305 --> 00:04:51,529
I-I feel like the
homeless will understand.
112
00:04:51,554 --> 00:04:53,335
They're not super judgey people.
113
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,773
Yeah, I'm skipping that, too.
Not in a great place.
114
00:04:55,798 --> 00:04:57,531
- Oh, if everyone's bailing...
- ANN: No.
115
00:04:57,556 --> 00:04:59,401
No one is bailing, all right?
116
00:04:59,426 --> 00:05:00,959
We have traditions in this house.
117
00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:02,515
It's Christmas Eve.
118
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:03,734
You volunteer at St. Mary,
119
00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:05,515
then I make a huge dinner, and then
120
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:07,093
we go to Midnight Mass.
121
00:05:07,118 --> 00:05:10,078
We only did the St. Mary's thing,
like, twice, and yes...
122
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,136
Meaningful... But if I'm being honest,
123
00:05:12,161 --> 00:05:13,563
there were way too many people helping.
124
00:05:13,587 --> 00:05:14,813
Yeah. Last year, the line to serve
125
00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:16,257
the turkey was longer
than the line to eat it.
126
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:17,809
All right, cool. So wake me up at 4:00
127
00:05:17,844 --> 00:05:19,998
unless we could maybe
push dinner to 5:00?
128
00:05:20,023 --> 00:05:22,060
Everyone, stop it. You're going.
129
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:24,640
Mom, we're not kids anymore.
You can't tell us what to do.
130
00:05:24,665 --> 00:05:26,461
Your father has cancer.
131
00:05:26,486 --> 00:05:28,132
- What?
- Oh, my God.
132
00:05:28,522 --> 00:05:30,046
I'm sorry.
133
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,085
I-I shouldn't have told you like that.
134
00:05:33,393 --> 00:05:34,992
I already knew.
135
00:05:35,523 --> 00:05:37,234
He told me first,
136
00:05:37,259 --> 00:05:40,437
but life isn't always a competition.
137
00:05:40,812 --> 00:05:42,600
It's not about that right now.
138
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:44,937
- His prognosis is excellent.
- Sean's right.
139
00:05:44,962 --> 00:05:46,865
- He has the best doctors.
- Yeah.
140
00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,406
He's gonna be okay.
141
00:05:48,441 --> 00:05:51,304
But that is why I wanted
this Christmas to be special.
142
00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:52,476
Hey.
143
00:05:54,207 --> 00:05:55,640
I love you, Dad.
144
00:05:55,665 --> 00:05:57,265
Oh.
145
00:05:57,906 --> 00:05:58,921
You told 'em.
146
00:05:58,946 --> 00:06:00,545
I-I did not. She did.
147
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,670
They weren't gonna go to the shelter.
148
00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:04,500
How-how are you, Dad?
149
00:06:04,525 --> 00:06:06,592
- Are you okay?
- Stop it, okay?
150
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,329
I'm fine. I don't want
you worrying about me.
151
00:06:08,353 --> 00:06:11,257
I-I think I should just
move back home for a while.
152
00:06:11,282 --> 00:06:14,049
Listen, I don't want you putting
your life on hold for me, okay?
153
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,539
Stay in New York.
I'm not going anywhere. All right?
154
00:06:16,564 --> 00:06:19,156
Honestly, things aren't so
great for me over there anyway.
155
00:06:19,181 --> 00:06:21,614
Yeah, that's 'cause you picked
a stupid way to make a living.
156
00:06:22,664 --> 00:06:24,289
Sorry. Listen.
157
00:06:25,359 --> 00:06:27,343
You know I was a hellraiser
in high school, right?
158
00:06:27,368 --> 00:06:29,421
The M80 in typing class.
159
00:06:29,446 --> 00:06:32,160
Not even close to my best work.
I was a terror.
160
00:06:32,185 --> 00:06:34,252
And at a certain point,
the nuns gave me a choice.
161
00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:36,679
They were like, "Listen,
you can either be in the school play,
162
00:06:36,703 --> 00:06:37,756
"or you're gonna be in detention
163
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,301
for the rest of your
high school career."
164
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:41,310
- Okay?
- Yeah, you were in Guys and Dolls,
165
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:42,427
and you were good and...
166
00:06:42,462 --> 00:06:45,390
I was Sky Masterson,
and I was incredible, okay?
167
00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:46,832
I was so incredible, the nuns wanted me
168
00:06:46,856 --> 00:06:48,823
to be the lead guy in
every musical after that.
169
00:06:48,848 --> 00:06:50,710
And then I went to work
for your grandfather,
170
00:06:50,735 --> 00:06:52,185
I meet your mother,
171
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:55,296
you know, I fell in love and
lived happily ever after.
172
00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:57,998
Now, in the back of my mind...
173
00:06:58,023 --> 00:06:59,945
Not all the time,
just every once in a while...
174
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:03,024
I think, what would have
happened if I went to New York
175
00:07:03,049 --> 00:07:05,125
and I chased that acting
dream, you know?
176
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:08,435
- Really?
- Yeah. I mean, probably nothing.
177
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:11,122
You know? But that's one of
the things I'm most proud of
178
00:07:11,147 --> 00:07:14,296
as a dad is, you get to go to
New York and chase your dream.
179
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,920
- Oh.
- No, don't be a wuss about it.
180
00:07:16,945 --> 00:07:17,945
Come on. We're up.
181
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,336
BRIDGET: Oh, he's gonna be fine.
182
00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:21,478
I talked to one of my partners
who works in medical malpractice.
183
00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:22,634
She ran the numbers.
184
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,492
Dad's more likely to
die in a car accident.
185
00:07:24,517 --> 00:07:27,389
I know I've had more time to
process this than you have.
186
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,273
- Okay.
- I don't know why
187
00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:30,719
- Dad told me first.
- Sean, I don't care
188
00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,687
- that Dad told you first.
- You know,
189
00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:35,951
he and I have this kind
of emotional connection,
190
00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:37,008
- so I get that.
- All I care about is
191
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:38,226
that he's gonna be fine.
192
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:39,784
And he's gonna be fine.
193
00:07:39,809 --> 00:07:41,876
You're so where I was two days ago.
194
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,467
No mashed potatoes?
195
00:07:43,492 --> 00:07:44,655
Uh, sorry, ma'am,
196
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,580
- we just ran out.
- Really?
197
00:07:46,605 --> 00:07:48,274
- Yeah.
- You know what, any mashed potatoes
198
00:07:48,298 --> 00:07:49,359
back in the kitchen?
199
00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:52,320
- 86 the mashed potatoes!
- Ah. Sorry.
200
00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:53,803
You want some brussels sprouts?
201
00:07:53,828 --> 00:07:54,960
Is that a joke?
202
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:55,999
I wish it was.
203
00:07:56,024 --> 00:07:57,245
I shouldn't have snapped.
204
00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:58,836
It's just, this time of year,
205
00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:00,881
it's the little things
you look forward to.
206
00:08:00,906 --> 00:08:03,007
- You have a right to mashed potatoes.
- Right.
207
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:06,878
Yeah, but anger is just one
letter away from danger.
208
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,249
Hey, are you guys in the program?
209
00:08:08,274 --> 00:08:10,757
Yeah, we both are.
That's how we met. [CHUCKLES]
210
00:08:11,156 --> 00:08:12,842
Give me a second. Give me a second.
211
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,140
Do you think maybe we could...
212
00:08:14,165 --> 00:08:16,212
- just invite...
- Mom said just family.
213
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,467
Right. Right. You know what,
214
00:08:19,492 --> 00:08:21,203
I'm gonna go talk to the chef.
It's Christmas.
215
00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:23,895
Everybody deserves mashed
potatoes, right?
216
00:08:24,695 --> 00:08:26,271
I think it's my turn.
217
00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:28,492
CHEF: There's no more
damn mashed potatoes!
218
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,795
- Hi, Mom. Smells lovely.
- Hi!
219
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,421
- SEAN SR.: Shelter was great.
- DAN: Hi, Mom.
220
00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:38,467
- Thank you.
- Mmm, mmm, mmm.
221
00:08:38,492 --> 00:08:40,218
No, no, no, no, no.
You're letting the heat out.
222
00:08:40,242 --> 00:08:42,654
Oh, I'm just seeing what kind of
crisp you got going on the skin.
223
00:08:42,678 --> 00:08:44,121
Mm, well, back off.
224
00:08:44,146 --> 00:08:45,490
You're not the only cook in the family.
225
00:08:45,514 --> 00:08:46,717
- I know.
- Honey, can you please
226
00:08:46,741 --> 00:08:49,590
get rid of Stan's pie?
I need the room in the fridge.
227
00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:51,724
Honey, he poured his heart
and soul into that thing.
228
00:08:51,749 --> 00:08:53,349
Yeah, nobody wants it.
229
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:57,748
Do you know how old I was
when Dad gave me the BB gun?
230
00:08:57,773 --> 00:08:59,303
I think you were ten.
231
00:08:59,328 --> 00:09:01,693
Which is on the young
side for a firearm.
232
00:09:01,718 --> 00:09:04,058
I guess there were some
perks to his drinking.
233
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:05,349
Do you think, like, a...
234
00:09:05,374 --> 00:09:07,378
mature seven-year-old could handle one?
235
00:09:07,403 --> 00:09:09,771
- Absolutely not. No.
- Oh!
236
00:09:09,796 --> 00:09:12,316
Do you remember that time I
shot Paul Ulibarri in the ass
237
00:09:12,341 --> 00:09:14,326
with this thing? It got infected,
238
00:09:14,351 --> 00:09:16,088
- but it was pretty funny.
- Oh... [STAMMERS]
239
00:09:16,112 --> 00:09:17,755
- Could you not?
- You know, I just...
240
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,965
I want to get Elena's boys something.
241
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,449
They're good boys, you know?
242
00:09:21,474 --> 00:09:23,050
They're really cool, and I just...
243
00:09:23,075 --> 00:09:26,030
I feel like I could encourage
244
00:09:26,055 --> 00:09:28,457
that, kind of, free-range
male energy, you know?
245
00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:30,270
Get them out of the house
and destroying stuff.
246
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:32,427
You've had one date. Feels like a...
247
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,130
like a pretty strong parenting move.
248
00:09:34,155 --> 00:09:36,640
Hey, here we go.
249
00:09:36,665 --> 00:09:38,899
The ninja box.
250
00:09:39,201 --> 00:09:41,363
Look at all this crap.
251
00:09:41,388 --> 00:09:43,704
Ooh, remember these bad boys?
252
00:09:43,739 --> 00:09:44,894
Yeah.
253
00:09:45,716 --> 00:09:48,042
[CHUCKLES]: Ooh...!
254
00:09:48,077 --> 00:09:49,610
Still got it.
255
00:09:50,746 --> 00:09:54,064
Do you ever feel like you were
meant to be born in feudal Japan?
256
00:09:54,892 --> 00:09:56,603
Ecclesiastes.
257
00:09:56,628 --> 00:09:58,758
- It's working. It's definitely working.
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
258
00:09:58,782 --> 00:09:59,854
- Okay.
- I use it whenever I get stuck
259
00:09:59,878 --> 00:10:00,976
on a hard word at trial.
260
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,057
- Okay.
- A law professor turned me on to it.
261
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,329
- Ecclesiastes. [CHUCKLES]
- Right?
262
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,354
The physicalness of it
263
00:10:06,379 --> 00:10:07,757
- really just helps.
- Yeah.
264
00:10:07,782 --> 00:10:09,596
- [EXHALES]
- Declaratory judgment.
265
00:10:09,621 --> 00:10:10,621
Ecclesiastes.
266
00:10:10,646 --> 00:10:12,470
- Declaratory judgment.
- Ecclesiastes.
267
00:10:12,495 --> 00:10:13,611
Declaratory judgment.
268
00:10:13,636 --> 00:10:15,351
- "Ecclezeeya-stick."
- Mm-mmm.
269
00:10:15,376 --> 00:10:16,737
"Ecclezeeya-stick"? I mean...
270
00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:17,940
I don't know what that is, but
271
00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:19,350
- the goal is 30.
- Okay.
272
00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:21,367
30? I'm not gonna get to 30.
273
00:10:21,392 --> 00:10:23,234
ANN [IN DISTANCE]: Roger
and Mukta are here.
274
00:10:23,259 --> 00:10:24,898
Plan on coming up?
275
00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:27,236
Uh, we're doing some church stuff.
276
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:29,929
So, we're thinking of
doing a home birth.
277
00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:31,343
No, we're not.
278
00:10:31,368 --> 00:10:33,687
People say it's life-altering.
279
00:10:33,712 --> 00:10:35,775
MUKTA: I don't want to have
the baby in our bathtub.
280
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,235
They bring a special birthing tub.
It'll be beautiful.
281
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:41,128
And you'll be surrounded by
all of our friends and family.
282
00:10:41,153 --> 00:10:42,945
Well, not your whole family.
283
00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:45,032
Sean, why is there a BB gun in here?
284
00:10:45,057 --> 00:10:46,190
Why is it in here?
285
00:10:46,215 --> 00:10:47,259
He's got a crush.
286
00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:49,796
I was gonna wrap it,
and then I got hungry.
287
00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:51,320
Well, please move it before dinner.
288
00:10:51,345 --> 00:10:53,570
- Thank you.
- No promises.
289
00:10:53,595 --> 00:10:57,211
Ann, how would you like to
be the steward of our...
290
00:10:57,236 --> 00:10:58,612
placenta?
291
00:10:59,757 --> 00:11:01,358
[DOORBELL RINGS]
292
00:11:01,806 --> 00:11:03,126
Who is that?
293
00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:07,431
Um, I wasn't gonna, um, say anything...
294
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,182
because I wanted to see
if they showed up. Yeah.
295
00:11:09,206 --> 00:11:11,390
Well, there was a
mashed potato situation
296
00:11:11,415 --> 00:11:13,626
at the shelter, and...
297
00:11:13,651 --> 00:11:15,306
Heavenly Father,
298
00:11:15,331 --> 00:11:17,415
thank you for these
gifts you've given us and
299
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,189
this wonderful meal prepared for us
300
00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:22,446
by my loving and kind and generous...
301
00:11:22,471 --> 00:11:24,431
- Sean.
- No, it's all true, honey.
302
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:25,516
I love you.
303
00:11:25,541 --> 00:11:26,954
Amen. Let's eat.
304
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,979
Uh, Rachel and I
305
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:31,853
would like to thank you for
inviting us into your home.
306
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:34,554
Last year at this time,
I was incarcerated.
307
00:11:34,579 --> 00:11:37,572
So we really, really appreciate it.
308
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,837
We're thrilled to have you.
309
00:11:38,862 --> 00:11:40,992
Wouldn't be a Moody
Christmas without you.
310
00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,734
- SEAN JR.: Hear, hear!
- SEAN SR.: That's right.
311
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,165
- Let's eat.
- SEAN JR.: Yes.
312
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,228
Before we eat, I...
I'd like to say something, too.
313
00:11:47,253 --> 00:11:49,244
- What is this, a wedding?
- Yeah, I'm really hungry.
314
00:11:49,268 --> 00:11:51,770
- Let your brother talk.
- I know I ruined caroling
315
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,711
and, uh, a few other things.
316
00:11:53,736 --> 00:11:55,903
I've been caught up in
my own stuff, but...
317
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,637
it's all over now. It's behind me.
318
00:11:57,662 --> 00:11:59,232
Could've said that while we were eating.
319
00:11:59,256 --> 00:12:02,019
I'm just really, really grateful
to be with you guys.
320
00:12:02,044 --> 00:12:03,577
- Aw.
- ANN: Aw!
321
00:12:03,602 --> 00:12:04,622
To family.
322
00:12:04,647 --> 00:12:07,467
ALL: To family!
323
00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:08,815
[DOORBELL RINGS]
324
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,504
- Huh.
- Seriously?
325
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,645
No, I didn't...
I didn't invite anybody else.
326
00:12:12,670 --> 00:12:13,637
But you know Big Stan...
327
00:12:13,662 --> 00:12:16,182
Sometimes he hears
what he wants to hear.
328
00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:17,412
- Hey. I'm sorry to...
- Hi, Marco.
329
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:19,121
- ... sorry to interrupt.
- Is everything okay?
330
00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:20,643
No. [EXHALES]
331
00:12:20,668 --> 00:12:22,518
- No, it's not.
- SEAN SR.: What's wrong?
332
00:12:22,543 --> 00:12:25,598
It's not. Hey, recognize this, Daniel?
333
00:12:25,623 --> 00:12:27,434
- Oh, God.
- What? What's going on?
334
00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:29,388
Oh, he didn't tell you guys?
He didn't tell you guys?
335
00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:31,158
Go ahead, Dan.
Fill everybody in, man. Go ahead.
336
00:12:31,182 --> 00:12:32,778
Marco, can we not do this here?
337
00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:34,184
- He made a play for Cora.
- What?
338
00:12:34,209 --> 00:12:36,700
Really? Your cousin's girlfriend?
339
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:39,559
You coveted, man. You coveted.
340
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,528
You're my best friend
and you betrayed me.
341
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,301
Can-can we talk about this in private?
342
00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:45,723
No. No, we're gonna settle this outside.
343
00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:47,379
No, no, no, no, no.
No, nobody's fighting.
344
00:12:47,403 --> 00:12:49,856
I need this, Uncle Sean. I need this.
345
00:12:50,961 --> 00:12:52,302
- ALL: Oh!
- MARCO: Stepped out... You stepped out!
346
00:12:52,326 --> 00:12:54,051
That's my point. NCAA rules.
347
00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:55,893
- I'm sorry.
- That's not enough, man.
348
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:57,558
- That's not enough.
- She chose you, man.
349
00:12:57,582 --> 00:12:58,831
You already won.
350
00:12:58,856 --> 00:13:01,254
- [GRUNTING]
- BRIDGET: Oh, no.
351
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,050
Your hands are ice-cold, man.
I bet you wish
352
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,671
you had your mittens now, don't you?
353
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,661
- [GRUNTING]
- SEAN SR.: Surprise move.
354
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,057
Why do you smell so good, man?
355
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:10,444
ALL: Ooh!
356
00:13:10,469 --> 00:13:12,723
- And Malbec's down.
- He was always a little weak
357
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:13,834
- to the left.
- I know.
358
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,395
Three! Let's go! That's a pin!
359
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:23,268
You let me pin you just now, didn't you?
360
00:13:23,293 --> 00:13:25,892
So that "W" has an asterisk on it. Wow.
361
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:28,462
Wow, that is very uncool, man.
362
00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:30,715
I can't even look at you right now.
363
00:13:30,899 --> 00:13:32,934
Marco, I'm sorry. You're my friend.
364
00:13:35,262 --> 00:13:37,581
Things that are shattered
365
00:13:37,606 --> 00:13:40,941
cannot then be unshattered
again, Daniel.
366
00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:43,477
Remember that, man.
367
00:13:43,809 --> 00:13:45,426
Remember that.
368
00:13:49,192 --> 00:13:52,635
You know, when I found out, uh,
two days before everyone else,
369
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:55,776
I was somehow both an
emotional roller coaster
370
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,638
- and on an emotional roller coaster.
- Mm-hmm. Sean,
371
00:13:57,662 --> 00:14:01,394
it's stage 1.
He has a 91% survival rate.
372
00:14:01,419 --> 00:14:03,052
He's gonna be totally fine.
373
00:14:03,348 --> 00:14:04,926
Can I have my mass brownie, please?
374
00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:07,121
Oh, indeed. Just, uh, be very careful.
375
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,965
I made them extra potent this year.
376
00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:11,924
- Ooh.
- So you might get really sad.
377
00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:15,929
- Hey!
- Hey!
378
00:14:15,954 --> 00:14:17,808
- Yes, yes. There he is.
- Okay.
379
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,394
I cannot put this day
behind me fast enough.
380
00:14:20,419 --> 00:14:22,582
Mittens. Let's just start there.
381
00:14:22,607 --> 00:14:24,874
Mittens. I find it delightful
382
00:14:24,899 --> 00:14:27,465
that you were done in by a hipster clue.
383
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,246
Uh, would you care
384
00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:32,572
- for a mass brownie there, cool guy?
- Please, yes.
385
00:14:33,027 --> 00:14:35,347
[JAMAICAN ACCENT]:
Partake of them sacrament.
386
00:14:35,372 --> 00:14:38,668
In the name of Bob
Marley and Ziggy Marley.
387
00:14:38,693 --> 00:14:40,644
- Just give it to me.
- Beenie Man!
388
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:43,890
- Stop.
- Father eedijat. Blop!
389
00:14:43,915 --> 00:14:45,980
Uh, ar-are you sure that, uh,
390
00:14:46,005 --> 00:14:47,722
we can't do the dishes for you?
391
00:14:47,747 --> 00:14:50,285
Oh, no. Thank you.
392
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:53,344
I-I actually find it therapeutic.
393
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:55,254
Well, at least let us
394
00:14:55,279 --> 00:14:57,238
take out the trash on our way out.
395
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,933
Oh, yeah, all right. Thank you.
396
00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:01,746
Uh, through the mud
room, behind the garage.
397
00:15:01,771 --> 00:15:03,512
- Thank you.
- Listen,
398
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:04,942
I get the feeling that you didn't have
399
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:06,546
the evening that you wanted.
400
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:08,207
- Oh...
- And, um, I just want to say,
401
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:10,371
from where I'm sitting, uh,
402
00:15:10,396 --> 00:15:12,832
you've got a great thing going.
403
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,013
My husband tell you to say that?
404
00:15:15,338 --> 00:15:17,754
- I put it in my own words.
- Yeah.
405
00:15:17,957 --> 00:15:20,019
- Thank you.
- Okay.
406
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,653
Come and behold him
407
00:15:23,678 --> 00:15:26,610
Born the king of angels
408
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,036
Oh, come let us adore him
409
00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:33,691
Oh, come let us adore him
410
00:15:33,716 --> 00:15:37,618
Oh, come let us adore him
411
00:15:37,643 --> 00:15:41,448
Christ, the Lord
412
00:15:41,777 --> 00:15:42,777
[WHISPERING]: Go ahead.
413
00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:44,558
- Hurry up.
- Okay.
414
00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:48,865
[WHISPERS]: Sit!
415
00:15:53,732 --> 00:15:56,472
This is a reading from the Book of...
416
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,644
Ecclesiastes.
417
00:15:59,348 --> 00:16:00,647
[MOUTHS]
418
00:16:03,073 --> 00:16:04,906
"Cast your bread upon the waters,
419
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,402
"for you will find it after many days.
420
00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:10,885
"Give a portion to seven,
and, yes, also to eight,
421
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:13,722
"for you know not what evil
might happen upon the Earth.
422
00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:16,285
"If the clouds are full of rain,
423
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,222
"then he who observes
the clouds will not reap.
424
00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,793
"As you do not know the way of the wind,
425
00:16:21,818 --> 00:16:24,176
"you do not know the work of God.
426
00:16:24,201 --> 00:16:26,152
"And that...
427
00:16:26,432 --> 00:16:29,097
is the gord of the Lord."
428
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,902
[STIFLED LAUGHING]
429
00:16:30,927 --> 00:16:32,793
- Stop it.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
430
00:16:32,818 --> 00:16:33,983
Stop it.
431
00:16:34,008 --> 00:16:36,121
- Stop it.
- Amen.
432
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,372
SEAN JR.: [WHISPERS]:
The gord of the Lord.
433
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:39,809
- [DAN AND SEAN JR. LAUGHING]
- ANN: Stop it.
434
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,722
And when I was in seventh
grade I went to UN Camp,
435
00:16:42,747 --> 00:16:45,355
and I got so homesick
436
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,613
that I pretended I had Lyme disease.
437
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,671
[LAUGHING]
438
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:53,211
I looked up the symptoms
and everything, um...
439
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,048
And I called my dad to come get me.
[SNIFFS]
440
00:16:57,401 --> 00:16:59,720
And he drove five hours
441
00:16:59,745 --> 00:17:01,204
in the middle of the night.
442
00:17:02,316 --> 00:17:05,142
Took me to a diner and we got pancakes.
443
00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:08,751
I mean, he knew I was faking,
and he didn't say anything.
444
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:13,673
And after breakfast, he said,
445
00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:15,650
"Okay, are you ready to go back?"
446
00:17:15,999 --> 00:17:17,907
And I said, "Yeah."
447
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,634
If he's not around...
448
00:17:24,908 --> 00:17:26,415
who do I call?
449
00:17:30,837 --> 00:17:33,525
I really want to recommend a cleanse
450
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:36,009
to help combat the side
effects of the chemo,
451
00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:38,681
- but I know that's...
- [CHUCKLES]
452
00:17:38,706 --> 00:17:40,839
not what you need right now.
453
00:17:42,564 --> 00:17:44,290
I'm not very good at this.
454
00:17:44,415 --> 00:17:46,337
You actually are.
455
00:17:56,354 --> 00:17:58,065
- "And lo, the angel of the Lord
- [SEAN JR. AND DAN GIGGLING]
456
00:17:58,089 --> 00:17:59,580
- "came upon them,
- People are looking.
457
00:17:59,604 --> 00:18:01,720
"and the glory shone around them:
458
00:18:01,745 --> 00:18:05,298
"And the angel said unto them,
fear not: for, behold,
459
00:18:05,323 --> 00:18:07,080
- "I bring you good tidings..."
- Are you kidding me?
460
00:18:07,104 --> 00:18:09,915
- Are you kidding me?
- No, he almost made it. Just...
461
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,876
- ANN: People...
- "For unto you is born this day
462
00:18:11,901 --> 00:18:13,736
"in the city of David a Saviour,
463
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:16,142
- "who is Christ the Lord.
- Get out. Get out. Get out.
464
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:17,587
" ... shall be a sign unto you;
465
00:18:17,612 --> 00:18:20,290
"You shall find the babe
wrapped in swaddling clothes,
466
00:18:20,315 --> 00:18:21,892
"lying in a manger.
467
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:24,111
- "And suddenly there was with the angel
- [CACKLING LOUDLY]
468
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:25,493
"a multitude of the heavenly host
469
00:18:25,518 --> 00:18:26,744
- [CACKLING CONTINUES]
- "praising God, and saying,
470
00:18:26,768 --> 00:18:29,181
Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth..."
471
00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:35,595
Oh, God.
472
00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:40,298
- [SIGHS]
- Dashing through the snow
473
00:18:41,525 --> 00:18:43,923
That's a pretty big glass, hon.
474
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,275
Yeah, not big enough.
475
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,392
- Uh, hey, guys?
- SEAN JR.: What?
476
00:18:49,417 --> 00:18:50,850
You might want to come in here.
477
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:52,845
SEAN JR.: What the hell?
478
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,048
Where-where are the Christmas presents?
479
00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:57,073
Okay, what, is this some kind of joke?
480
00:18:57,235 --> 00:18:58,714
Wait, do you think it has anything to do
481
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,470
with the people from the shelter?
482
00:19:00,495 --> 00:19:03,236
Oh, you mean the felons that
your dad invited to dinner.
483
00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:05,762
Okay, let's not jump to
conclusions, guys.
484
00:19:05,787 --> 00:19:07,743
- They stole them.
- Um...
485
00:19:07,768 --> 00:19:09,837
They stole them when
they took the trash out,
486
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:11,798
they left the side door unlocked.
487
00:19:11,823 --> 00:19:14,376
They turned the dancing
Santa on just to mock us.
488
00:19:14,401 --> 00:19:16,431
Oh. Kind of a cool move.
489
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,556
Okay, I just want to
remind all of us, okay,
490
00:19:18,581 --> 00:19:20,299
that the spirit of
Christmas is not about...
491
00:19:20,323 --> 00:19:23,478
Be quiet, okay? I ask for so little.
492
00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:26,548
All I wanted was my own
bathroom and a white Christmas.
493
00:19:26,573 --> 00:19:29,322
And, you know, that weather gal
is so full of crap.
494
00:19:29,347 --> 00:19:30,784
Guys, it's not the end of the world.
495
00:19:30,808 --> 00:19:32,650
- It's just presents, right?
- ALL: Yeah.
496
00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:34,868
And Mom got us all down vests,
497
00:19:34,893 --> 00:19:38,628
wh-which were very practical
and very thoughtful, Mom.
498
00:19:38,653 --> 00:19:39,915
You know, you're right.
499
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:42,274
I mean, why even give presents?
500
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:44,908
You know,
why even have Christmas at all?
501
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,800
And if nobody cares about the traditions
502
00:19:46,825 --> 00:19:49,445
in this family, then I don't either.
503
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,688
- BRIDGET: Mom.
- No.
504
00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:52,002
- It's not that. No, it's, it's...
- Hon.
505
00:19:52,026 --> 00:19:53,923
Hey, look... Okay?
Okay, let's not go crazy.
506
00:19:53,948 --> 00:19:56,212
We still have, uh,
we still have Bridget's presents.
507
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,665
- Right.
- And she never puts them
508
00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:58,796
- out till Christmas morning.
- Right. Honey.
509
00:19:58,820 --> 00:20:00,627
- Not this year. Not this year.
- SEAN JR.: What?
510
00:20:00,651 --> 00:20:01,829
What the hell? Why?
511
00:20:01,854 --> 00:20:03,665
What about the ones on my list?
512
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,392
Specifically, the expensive headphones.
513
00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:08,097
- Did you-did you put-put those out?
- I only put them out Christmas morning,
514
00:20:08,121 --> 00:20:09,464
because that's when
Doug and I come over,
515
00:20:09,488 --> 00:20:10,558
but since I was already here...
516
00:20:10,582 --> 00:20:12,299
- Why did you cheat on Doug?!
- Okay.
517
00:20:12,324 --> 00:20:13,936
Could we not make
this about that, please?
518
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,268
- [SHOT]
- Holy Moses!
519
00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:19,102
- I just wanted to have...
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
520
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:20,932
a nice Christmas,
521
00:20:20,957 --> 00:20:22,885
- and you all ruined it.
- Mom!
522
00:20:22,918 --> 00:20:24,604
- Honey. Honey...
- I'm done!
523
00:20:25,494 --> 00:20:27,252
I'm out!
524
00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:29,854
Christmas is canceled.
525
00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:32,652
[WHIMPERS]
526
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:42,124
Hon...
527
00:20:43,902 --> 00:20:45,565
Hey, guys, look.
528
00:20:47,255 --> 00:20:48,706
It's starting to snow.
529
00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:50,380
Oh, it is, too.
530
00:20:50,405 --> 00:20:52,073
O holy night
531
00:20:52,098 --> 00:20:55,096
The stars are brightly shining
532
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,767
- SEAN SR.: Oh, wow.
- BRIDGET: Should we tell Mom
533
00:20:56,791 --> 00:20:58,767
that we're gonna have a white Christmas?
534
00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:02,213
Uh... No, I think
we should give her some time.
535
00:21:02,238 --> 00:21:03,238
Fair.
536
00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:06,609
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
39428
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