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1
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,766
I'm sorry. I can't seem to find
my purse. I must have ten of'em.
2
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:02,061
- Can you just ring mine first, please?
- There's someone ahead of you, sir.
3
00:01:02,152 --> 00:01:04,275
I usually keep my change in
my little change bear, but...
4
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:07,279
That's almost interesting.
How much is hers?
5
00:01:08,783 --> 00:01:10,905
- 5.26.
- Just add it on, please.
6
00:01:10,994 --> 00:01:13,910
Hold on, hold on. If it's not
in this one, it'll be in another one.
7
00:01:13,996 --> 00:01:17,115
- That'll be 9.65.
- Thank you very much.
- How sweet.
8
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,614
- You didn't have to do that for me.
- I didn't do it for you.
9
00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:22,994
Check some bags next time.
10
00:01:23,087 --> 00:01:24,035
Jerk.
11
00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:41,943
- How can I help you, Governor?
- Some dirtbag...
12
00:01:42,037 --> 00:01:44,823
dirtbag... from
the attorney general's office...
13
00:01:44,914 --> 00:01:47,748
had dared to mention
the word "jail."
14
00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:51,701
Waaah.
15
00:01:51,796 --> 00:01:54,796
Waaah!
16
00:01:54,881 --> 00:02:00,752
- Somebody call the "waaambulance"!
- What? What did you say?
17
00:02:09,561 --> 00:02:13,261
Governor, do you know what the number
one killer of politicians
under the age of 60 is?
18
00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:15,681
- No.
- Self-pity.
19
00:02:15,774 --> 00:02:18,015
Now, Governor, I'll be more than happy
to help you out of this mess...
20
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:20,435
that you so willingly
seem to have stepped into.
21
00:02:20,529 --> 00:02:23,564
- But you ought to do something.
- What's that?
22
00:02:23,657 --> 00:02:26,278
- Stop crying.
- I'll try.
23
00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:29,570
No, I mean right now.
You're giving me a headache.
24
00:02:44,926 --> 00:02:49,219
Excuse me, folks,
anything more to drink?
25
00:02:49,304 --> 00:02:51,877
- Do y'all have any single-malt scotch?
- Sure do.
26
00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:55,756
So, what do you do for a living?
27
00:02:58,271 --> 00:03:02,517
You wanna tell me about it? You know,
comfort of strangers and all that.
28
00:03:02,608 --> 00:03:04,516
No.
29
00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:08,770
Oh. Must be something
on the Internet.
30
00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:12,736
Or finance.
31
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,864
Genetic engineering,
maybe, huh?
32
00:03:14,952 --> 00:03:19,115
- I'm an image consultant, okay?
- Okay.
33
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:42,216
So you sort of
troubleshoot for folks?
34
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:46,093
You know, give 'em makeovers
when they need revamping, right?
35
00:03:47,147 --> 00:03:49,435
Right.
36
00:03:49,524 --> 00:03:51,432
Hey, look...
37
00:03:51,526 --> 00:03:54,859
I'm flying to L.A. to start
an anchor job in the local news...
38
00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:58,894
and I do not think that it's an accident
that I'm sitting next to you.
39
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:00,947
I see.
So the cosmic purpose...
40
00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:03,607
of our meeting is for me
to give you free advice.
41
00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:08,032
- What do I get out of it?
- We don't know yet.
42
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,792
But I'll owe you.
43
00:04:26,306 --> 00:04:30,848
- If I do it, will you shut up?
- Quiet as the dead.
44
00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:36,063
Your hair's too big, your brows
are too dark, your nails are too long...
45
00:04:36,148 --> 00:04:38,057
and your foundation's too orange.
46
00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:41,648
Your perfume's too sweet.
It's the news, honey, not the prom.
47
00:04:41,737 --> 00:04:44,903
- I like your eyes...
- Oh. Thank you.
48
00:04:44,990 --> 00:04:47,824
Bluer.
Try the tinted contacts.
49
00:04:47,908 --> 00:04:49,865
But only when you're
anchoring or in L.A.
50
00:04:49,952 --> 00:04:53,285
- When you're on assignment,
take them out.
- What about my accent?
51
00:04:53,372 --> 00:04:55,660
I'm always being warned
to stop saying "y'all."
52
00:04:55,748 --> 00:04:59,164
Don't ever stop saying "y'all."
Your "y'all" is your trademark.
53
00:04:59,252 --> 00:05:02,003
Say "y'all," and you'll be
promoted in six months.
54
00:05:02,088 --> 00:05:05,171
Say "y'all" with a smile,
you'll be famous in 12.
55
00:05:05,257 --> 00:05:09,799
Well, thank you.
56
00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:11,427
You're welcome.
57
00:05:11,513 --> 00:05:15,261
Now, will you please shut up?
58
00:05:33,657 --> 00:05:38,152
All right, let me have him.
Hello, Your Honour. How are you?
59
00:05:38,245 --> 00:05:40,616
Good. Thank you.
60
00:05:40,705 --> 00:05:42,495
Define "not exactly alone."
61
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,288
Your Honour,
was this mannequin inflatable?
62
00:05:50,255 --> 00:05:52,461
You know if the press...
63
00:05:52,549 --> 00:05:54,790
Dodged one bullet.
64
00:05:54,884 --> 00:05:57,125
Listen, this is all
gonna blow over.
65
00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:12,183
Hey! Did you see the...
66
00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:15,056
the...
67
00:06:18,572 --> 00:06:19,686
Yeah.
68
00:06:23,118 --> 00:06:25,193
Twelve cream pies are on
their way over to the stadium.
69
00:06:25,286 --> 00:06:27,610
Bob Riley expects you
in the owner's box at 3:00.
70
00:06:27,705 --> 00:06:31,702
Amy will meet you there.
And why are you wearing a yellow tie?
71
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,958
Janet. How could you know I'm wearing
my yellow tie? You can't even see me.
72
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:37,286
I can hear the stress
in your voice.
73
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:39,123
Whenever you're stressed,
you wear the yellow tie...
74
00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:41,966
which makes you feel all-powerful,
so you're probably gonna yell at me...
75
00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:45,669
which I'm not
in the mood for, so don't.
76
00:06:45,763 --> 00:06:50,340
- Nice tie.
- I am not stressed.
77
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:53,517
There is nothing wrong with me. I just
didn't get enough sleep last night.
78
00:06:53,603 --> 00:06:57,018
- Can I have today's work, please?
- Take your phone off.
You're with a human now.
79
00:06:57,105 --> 00:07:00,141
I did the ones and twos.
There's a three, a four.
80
00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:03,685
I flagged the five in your mail.
There's an eight on your desk to sign.
81
00:07:03,779 --> 00:07:06,447
And there's a ten
standing in your office.
82
00:07:17,874 --> 00:07:19,997
Why did you let him
in my office, Janet?
83
00:07:20,084 --> 00:07:23,001
He threatened me with a machete.
84
00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:25,244
He's your father, Russ.
85
00:07:29,259 --> 00:07:33,042
Wait 60 seconds and come in
and tell me I'm late for something.
86
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,422
- I hate you.
- Fight fair.
87
00:07:42,270 --> 00:07:47,608
- That's a nice photo
of you, uh, and Al De Niro.
- Robert De Niro.
88
00:07:47,692 --> 00:07:50,728
Oh, it's a nice photo of you
and Robert De Niro.
89
00:07:50,819 --> 00:07:54,354
Well, it would be,
except that's Al Pacino.
90
00:07:54,447 --> 00:07:55,442
Oh.
91
00:07:55,532 --> 00:07:58,236
So, Dad,
what can I do for you?
92
00:07:58,327 --> 00:08:00,484
Did you get the cheque
I sent over this morning?
93
00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:02,985
Yes, yes, I did.
94
00:08:04,331 --> 00:08:07,118
But I didn't ask you for a cheque.
95
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:09,782
I asked you to come over
and help me lift a few things.
96
00:08:11,672 --> 00:08:13,664
Well, time is money, Dad...
97
00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:15,629
and my time is worth
a lot more than a mover's...
98
00:08:15,717 --> 00:08:18,634
so I'm afraid the cheque
is gonna have to do.
99
00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:24,137
Look, your sister and her family are
coming over for dinner tomorrow night.
100
00:08:24,224 --> 00:08:27,260
You haven't seen your niece and nephew
in a long time.
101
00:08:27,352 --> 00:08:31,729
- Uh, you may want some
of those things in the attic.
- Like what, Dad?
102
00:08:31,814 --> 00:08:35,894
- Some more of my childhood memorabilia?
- You never know.
103
00:08:38,903 --> 00:08:41,109
How many times in the last 20 years
that you lived in that house...
104
00:08:41,197 --> 00:08:44,815
have I ever asked you
for anything, hmm?
105
00:08:44,909 --> 00:08:46,984
Anything at all?
106
00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:54,458
Um, you're late
for a very big meeting.
107
00:08:54,543 --> 00:08:57,662
Dozens of irate and highly important
people are clamouring for you.
108
00:08:57,753 --> 00:09:00,326
There is pandemonium,
I'm sure, somewhere...
109
00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:03,257
and you really must go...
right now.
110
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,627
Good luck with the move, Dad.
Let me know how it goes.
111
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:27,232
Call Fred and see how the market closed.
Check the NASD AQ Bye.
112
00:09:27,322 --> 00:09:28,270
That's perfect.
113
00:09:28,489 --> 00:09:29,353
You look brilliant.
114
00:09:29,448 --> 00:09:32,235
Completely and utterly gorgeous.
115
00:09:32,326 --> 00:09:34,283
Don't look at me.
Look out there.
116
00:09:34,369 --> 00:09:36,527
Have we signed a new client?
117
00:09:36,622 --> 00:09:39,955
We made a bet. If I make him look
handsome, I get a free hot dog.
118
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:44,121
- You're going to starve.
- Not a chance.
119
00:09:44,211 --> 00:09:46,120
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
120
00:09:46,213 --> 00:09:49,248
- Just don't share it with jerko.
- No way.
121
00:09:49,341 --> 00:09:52,010
Watch your cholesterol, hot dog boy.
Let me have that for you.
122
00:09:52,093 --> 00:09:54,168
Hey, I worked hard for that!
123
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:56,384
Amy, those hot dogs will kill you.
124
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,380
Besides, we're about to have
lobster in cream sauce.
125
00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:01,889
I don't want lobster in cream sauce.
I want hot dog in mustard sauce.
126
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,885
Please stop biting your nails, Amy.
127
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:07,144
Nail. I only bite one.
Why do you care anyway?
128
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,140
I care because you work for me.
129
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,723
When you bite your nails,
you're advertising weakness.
130
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,310
Really? Advertising weakness
with one little nail?
131
00:10:14,404 --> 00:10:16,443
- What's this advertise?
- Nice.
132
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,737
- Hi, Mike. Is he in?
- Waitin' for you.
133
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:21,944
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
134
00:10:22,036 --> 00:10:23,743
Hello.
135
00:10:25,206 --> 00:10:27,530
- Hello.
- I haven't seen you in a couple of days.
136
00:10:27,624 --> 00:10:29,782
- How have you been?
- Fine. Now can we go in?
137
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:34,418
No. This is the bit where you ask me.
138
00:10:34,506 --> 00:10:36,498
We're very late.
I don't have time to...
139
00:10:36,591 --> 00:10:39,793
Go on. Give it a whirl.
140
00:10:44,013 --> 00:10:46,930
Hi, Amy.
How are you doing?
141
00:10:48,434 --> 00:10:52,348
Fine.
We're really late.
142
00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,306
Hey, the cavalry is here!
143
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,317
Russ Duritz to the rescue!
144
00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:03,819
Here to save my sorry behind.
145
00:11:03,906 --> 00:11:06,942
Josh, look after him.
146
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,444
- Good luck.
- Yeah.
147
00:11:08,536 --> 00:11:10,492
Hi. I'm Josh,
Mr Riley's assistant.
148
00:11:10,579 --> 00:11:12,571
- If you need anything...
- I do.
149
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:16,032
I need you to go up in the bleachers and
find me a dozen 8- to 12-year-old kids.
150
00:11:16,125 --> 00:11:20,372
Eight boys, four girls.
Five white, four Latino, three black.
151
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:23,546
- Have 'em back here in three minutes.
- Okay.
152
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,671
I need to use
your Hi-8 for this one.
153
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,834
So why is everybody
busting my chops?
154
00:11:27,928 --> 00:11:29,920
And the way I see this thing...
155
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:33,879
it's just a little
misunderstanding.
156
00:11:33,974 --> 00:11:36,013
Okay, Bob, let me see
if I can explain to you...
157
00:11:36,102 --> 00:11:38,853
how other people
see this little thing.
158
00:11:38,937 --> 00:11:41,510
You see, to Joe Baseball Fan out there,
you're the guy that promised...
159
00:11:41,607 --> 00:11:44,311
you would give five percent
of each ticket sold this season...
160
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,354
to establishing a baseball camp
for inner-city kids.
161
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,149
You're also the guy that gave
pictures to the press of kids...
162
00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:53,275
actually attending this camp
which, in fact, does not exist.
163
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:57,280
Yet. I was intending
to get around to it, uh, eventually.
164
00:11:57,370 --> 00:12:01,154
- Ah.
- I am a very busy guy.
165
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,664
No, Bob, you're not a busy man.
166
00:12:04,751 --> 00:12:07,835
See, what you are
is a "stoopid" man.
167
00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:11,206
A very stupid guy
who only played Mr Charitable...
168
00:12:11,299 --> 00:12:13,208
because you wanted to suck up
to city council...
169
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,883
so they'd build you
a brand new baseball park.
170
00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:19,212
But guess what.
Bye-bye, ballpark.
171
00:12:20,432 --> 00:12:23,598
Hello, jail.
172
00:12:23,685 --> 00:12:28,641
- So what's your big plan?
- How do you feel about
chocolate cream pie?
173
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:32,728
Why? You gonna feed the kids cream pie
to get me out of this mess?
174
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:35,984
No. The kids are gonna feed you
cream pie and get you out of this mess.
175
00:12:36,071 --> 00:12:38,561
- Huh?
- Bob...
176
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,565
prepare to be pied.
177
00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:44,692
I deserve it!
178
00:12:44,787 --> 00:12:46,778
More pie in the face!
179
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:49,244
Bob, the press
is gonna eat this up.
180
00:12:49,332 --> 00:12:51,289
Amy, what do you think?
181
00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:54,626
- Amy? Amy?
- You want to know what I think?
182
00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:58,167
I think there's something
very creepy about all this.
183
00:12:58,257 --> 00:13:01,340
Amy, Amy, I swear to you...
184
00:13:01,427 --> 00:13:05,424
I will make sure that the editing of
this tape is handled tastefully, okay?
185
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:08,265
- I'm sure you will.
- No, I promise.
186
00:13:08,349 --> 00:13:10,886
- We didn't do anything wrong today.
- No.
187
00:13:10,977 --> 00:13:16,266
- We did the right thing by
our client, Bob Riley.
- I love him.
188
00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:21,597
Russ, today we shamelessly
exploited innocent children...
189
00:13:21,694 --> 00:13:25,359
just to help some crook
with his cash flow problems.
190
00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:31,779
Are you gonna finish
this last piece of yellowtail?
191
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:34,111
Russ, you should be concerned
about this. You're turning 40 in...
192
00:13:34,205 --> 00:13:37,205
- Thank you so much for bringing that up.
- You're at an age when...
- What, and you're not at an age...
193
00:13:37,292 --> 00:13:39,284
Yes, we both are.
194
00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:43,953
Well, we can't go around any more
talking about what we're going
to be like when we grow up.
195
00:13:44,047 --> 00:13:45,624
We are up.
196
00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:50,802
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
197
00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:54,469
- You finished?
- Yeah, I'm finished.
198
00:13:54,557 --> 00:13:57,094
Good.
199
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,303
Toshiya, if you get called
a jerk four times...
200
00:14:00,395 --> 00:14:02,470
in the same day,
does that make it true?
201
00:14:02,564 --> 00:14:05,101
- What, only four? Did you get up late?
- Excuse me.
202
00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:08,274
- I'm asking Toshiya.
- Just four times, a pattern.
203
00:14:08,361 --> 00:14:10,816
It have to be five times to be a fact.
204
00:14:10,904 --> 00:14:14,818
- Thank you very much.
You see? There is hope.
- Jerk.
205
00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:18,405
Thank you.
206
00:14:23,081 --> 00:14:26,284
Yo, Pedro, make sure
this gets in the trash.
207
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,921
Yes!
208
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:41,967
That was fantastic! I can't believe
you just did such a fantastic thing!
209
00:14:42,057 --> 00:14:44,049
Me neither.
210
00:14:44,142 --> 00:14:46,181
I must really be stressed out.
211
00:14:50,272 --> 00:14:52,264
Probably still in there.
212
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:57,018
You are not going
Dumpster diving to look for
that stinky, fish-encrusted tape.
213
00:14:57,112 --> 00:15:00,315
You're right.
I shouldn't go in there.
214
00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:02,861
I'm wearing a $2,000 suit.
Come on. I'll give you a boost.
215
00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:04,657
Come on, come on, come on.
Distract yourself.
216
00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:07,530
Honour your instincts.
Look at the moon. Look at it.
217
00:15:07,621 --> 00:15:11,570
- What? Look at what?
- Look.
218
00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:16,623
Isn't it lovely?
It's big, it's beautiful, it's...
219
00:15:16,712 --> 00:15:18,953
revolving around the earth,
proving once again...
220
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:22,214
that the universe
does not revolve around you.
221
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,339
It's worth a look,
if you ask me.
222
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,842
Are you looking?
223
00:15:27,931 --> 00:15:29,839
- I looked.
- Look again!
- Okay...
224
00:15:29,932 --> 00:15:32,339
Okay! Amy...
225
00:15:32,435 --> 00:15:34,343
Quit fooling around,
all right? I looked.
226
00:15:34,436 --> 00:15:36,344
Now can we go?
227
00:15:36,438 --> 00:15:39,641
- Come on, grumpy.
- Hey, will you stop?
228
00:15:39,732 --> 00:15:42,436
I stopped.
229
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,899
I want to show you something.
Tell me if you think this is cute.
230
00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:51,364
Oh! Look at the moon!
It's so big and round...
231
00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:54,203
and when I look at it,
I'm all perky and excited and...
232
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:58,071
no one would ever know
that I'm almost 30! Ooh!
233
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,241
What do you think?
234
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,741
Cute or just stupid?
235
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:11,335
You know, Russ, just when I think
I've seen the worst...
236
00:16:11,427 --> 00:16:15,210
that there's no possible way
you could be more of a jerk...
237
00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:21,766
you outdo yourself.
238
00:16:21,853 --> 00:16:23,975
And then...
239
00:16:25,815 --> 00:16:29,598
just when I'm about to leave,
you do something.
240
00:16:29,693 --> 00:16:34,070
Like tonight,
when you threw that tape away.
241
00:16:34,156 --> 00:16:38,449
Then I get the tiniest,
briefest glimpse of the kid in you.
242
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:43,820
That's when I decide to hang around
for five more minutes...
243
00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:45,953
see what happens next.
244
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,998
Bye.
245
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,019
Janet, I want you on the phone
with the alarm company first
thing in the morning, okay?
246
00:17:18,111 --> 00:17:20,779
There is no way anybody
should ever get inside those gates.
247
00:17:20,864 --> 00:17:24,113
Ever! As a matter of fact,
get 'em on the phone
right now, and you tell them...
248
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,441
- It's 3:00 a.m.
- Janet, I don't care if
it's 3:00 in the morning.
249
00:17:26,535 --> 00:17:29,452
They're supposed to be
a 24-hour security service, okay?
250
00:17:29,538 --> 00:17:31,660
I want the sensitivity
set on ten.
251
00:17:31,748 --> 00:17:34,783
I want electrocution.
I want charred flesh. Do you understand?
252
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:38,160
- Write it down. Janet.
- "Charred flesh."
- Write it down!
253
00:17:38,254 --> 00:17:41,503
It was probably just some neighbourhood
kid. I don't know why you're so upset.
254
00:17:41,590 --> 00:17:45,670
- I'm not upset. I'm just mad.
- Okay. Mad. Not upset.
255
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,093
- You know, maybe we should get
a new security company, okay?
- Uh-huh.
256
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:51,800
I want rottweilers.
I want big, scary rottweilers.
257
00:17:51,891 --> 00:17:55,010
I want the guy
who trains the rottweilers
to be afraid to come over here, okay?
258
00:17:55,102 --> 00:17:58,268
- I want a moat with lava.
- "Moat with lava."
259
00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,430
Trolls with that?
Evil ones?
260
00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:03,014
No, Janet. No trolls.
261
00:18:03,109 --> 00:18:07,355
- Hello? Uh. Russ. It's Dad. Uh...
- Hold on a second, Janet.
262
00:18:07,446 --> 00:18:10,897
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
- I know I asked earlier...
263
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,528
but. Um. It'd be nice
to have you here for dinner.
264
00:18:13,618 --> 00:18:16,535
I know Joanne and the kids
would love to see you.
265
00:18:16,621 --> 00:18:19,193
And. Uh. Well. If your
schedule opens up...
266
00:18:20,874 --> 00:18:25,416
- Janet, I am going to bed.
- Good idea. Me too.
267
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:28,076
I do not wish to talk to you
or anyone else...
268
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,331
on this planet
for the next three hours.
269
00:18:30,425 --> 00:18:32,381
- Guess what. Neither do I.
- Goodbye.
270
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:16,467
"Rusty."
271
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,513
Dad, you are really
gettin' weird.
272
00:20:57,679 --> 00:21:00,170
Hey!
273
00:21:00,264 --> 00:21:02,755
Hey!
274
00:21:02,851 --> 00:21:05,423
Hey, stop! Stop!
Come back!
275
00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:08,852
Come back here! Hey!
276
00:21:08,939 --> 00:21:11,643
Gotcha! Ow! Ah!
277
00:21:16,154 --> 00:21:18,905
Hey! Hey!
278
00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:42,467
Hey! Hey!
279
00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:44,378
Get it outta here!
280
00:22:03,362 --> 00:22:05,318
Look out, idiot!
281
00:22:05,406 --> 00:22:08,157
Move it, you jerk!
282
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:12,865
Hey!
283
00:22:37,017 --> 00:22:39,223
Hey!
284
00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:41,267
Hey!
285
00:22:47,234 --> 00:22:49,558
Hey!
286
00:22:49,653 --> 00:22:51,312
Hey!
287
00:23:22,641 --> 00:23:25,131
Uh, uh, good evening.
288
00:23:25,226 --> 00:23:28,310
Uh, a kid just...
289
00:23:28,395 --> 00:23:31,561
ran in here a moment ago,
and, uh...
290
00:23:31,649 --> 00:23:34,221
Any of you see anything?
291
00:23:35,735 --> 00:23:38,308
Can any of you see anything?
292
00:23:38,404 --> 00:23:40,313
For we can fly
293
00:23:40,406 --> 00:23:45,446
'Cause this kid who, uh,
was just here...
294
00:23:45,535 --> 00:23:47,491
Up. Up and away
295
00:23:47,579 --> 00:23:50,912
- He...
- See you later.
296
00:23:50,998 --> 00:23:53,405
Hey! Officer!
297
00:23:57,505 --> 00:24:03,292
The world's a nicer place
in my beautiful balloon
298
00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:05,791
It wears a nicer face
299
00:24:13,059 --> 00:24:15,597
Uh-uh.
300
00:24:25,321 --> 00:24:27,609
Good morning, Doctor.
301
00:24:27,698 --> 00:24:30,449
I'd like to get right to the point,
if you don't mind.
I've got a meeting in ten minutes.
302
00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:32,525
You're entitled
to a 50-minute hour.
303
00:24:32,619 --> 00:24:34,860
Thank you, but I only require
a five-minute hour...
304
00:24:34,954 --> 00:24:36,862
or however long it takes you
to write a prescription.
305
00:24:36,956 --> 00:24:39,280
I see.
306
00:24:39,374 --> 00:24:41,781
Uh, we should talk about this.
Why don't you sit down.
307
00:24:41,877 --> 00:24:44,248
No, thank you.
I don't want to sit down.
308
00:24:44,337 --> 00:24:46,376
It all starts with sitting down.
309
00:24:46,464 --> 00:24:48,789
You sit down,
and then before you know it...
310
00:24:48,883 --> 00:24:51,337
twelve years has gone by,
and you're still talking about...
311
00:24:51,427 --> 00:24:53,335
the time you saw
your mother naked in the shower.
312
00:24:53,428 --> 00:24:55,504
You saw your mother
naked in the shower?
313
00:24:55,597 --> 00:24:59,464
No! I'm just saying
I'm happy to stand, okay?
314
00:24:59,559 --> 00:25:01,551
Look, I-I-I don't want therapy.
315
00:25:01,644 --> 00:25:05,226
- I don't need therapy.
- Why do you feel that way?
316
00:25:05,314 --> 00:25:08,683
Because I'm not like the other nutballs
that roll through here, okay?
317
00:25:08,776 --> 00:25:11,266
I don't have a smoking problem.
I don't have a drinking problem.
318
00:25:11,361 --> 00:25:13,851
I don't have a closet full
of ladies' undergarments.
319
00:25:13,947 --> 00:25:18,738
Sit down, Mr Duritz, and tell me
what the problem is.
320
00:25:18,826 --> 00:25:22,574
- No, you don't!
- Mr Duritz, I'm not trying to trick you.
321
00:25:22,663 --> 00:25:25,070
I'm trying to understand
your issues.
322
00:25:25,165 --> 00:25:28,747
Issue. Issue, singular.
Just one.
323
00:25:28,834 --> 00:25:31,751
All right. What is it?
324
00:25:35,966 --> 00:25:38,920
For the last few weeks...
325
00:25:39,010 --> 00:25:42,176
I have been seeing
a guy in a plane.
326
00:25:42,263 --> 00:25:44,753
Oh, I see.
327
00:25:44,849 --> 00:25:47,256
Not that kind of seeing!
I mean...
328
00:25:47,351 --> 00:25:50,850
I've been hallucinating
a guy in a plane.
329
00:25:50,937 --> 00:25:55,314
And these delusions, or whatever
it is you people call them...
330
00:25:55,399 --> 00:25:57,107
seem to be getting worse.
331
00:25:57,193 --> 00:26:01,142
Anyway, now I'm seeing a kid.
332
00:26:01,238 --> 00:26:06,575
And you think this kid
is a hallucination too?
333
00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:08,319
Yes.
334
00:26:08,411 --> 00:26:12,622
Is he someone you knew from your past,
from your childhood?
335
00:26:12,706 --> 00:26:15,991
No, not from my childhood.
I've forgotten my childhood.
336
00:26:16,085 --> 00:26:18,540
My childhood is in the past,
where it belongs.
337
00:26:18,628 --> 00:26:22,127
But doesn't want
to stay in the past, does it?
338
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:28,426
Mr Duritz, I notice
your eye is twitching.
339
00:26:28,512 --> 00:26:31,429
- I don't have a tic.
- I didn't say you had a tic.
340
00:26:31,515 --> 00:26:35,298
It's not a tic. I have dry eyes.
Why are you asking me about my dry eyes?
341
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:38,642
- Why are you so upset?
- Because I'm having hallucinations!
342
00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:41,303
And I'm asking you
to make them go away...
343
00:26:41,399 --> 00:26:45,478
with very powerful medication
that I can pick up on my way to work.
344
00:26:47,237 --> 00:26:49,775
Please, ma'am.
345
00:26:52,741 --> 00:26:57,449
Mr Duritz, you will pick up
your powerful medicine...
346
00:26:57,537 --> 00:27:00,324
and then you will...
347
00:27:00,416 --> 00:27:02,906
go home and take
the rest of the day off.
348
00:27:03,001 --> 00:27:07,247
- Yes, ma'am.
- This is for a total of four pills.
349
00:27:07,338 --> 00:27:10,422
They will help to keep you calm
until tomorrow at 4:00...
350
00:27:10,508 --> 00:27:13,793
at which time I expect
to see you back here in my office...
351
00:27:13,886 --> 00:27:16,921
for an appointment,
which you must promise to keep.
352
00:27:17,013 --> 00:27:19,254
Yes, ma'am.
353
00:27:19,349 --> 00:27:22,682
You're having these
hallucinations for a reason.
354
00:27:22,769 --> 00:27:25,389
- Yes, ma'am.
- And Mr Duritz...
355
00:27:25,479 --> 00:27:28,349
you need to figure out
what that reason is.
356
00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:32,016
Thank you.
357
00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:38,814
The woman in question.
if I understand it correctly...
358
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,195
she was your pilates instructor.
359
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:45,152
- Um. Well...
- Yeah, are you watching this?
360
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:47,784
- Unfortunately, yes.
- I mean. Not beautiful
like you are. Honey.
361
00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:51,538
- Oh, that's good.
- Why won't hejust say
what I told him to say?
362
00:27:51,627 --> 00:27:54,295
- He's an actor. He's improvising.
- Give me his cell phone number.
363
00:27:54,380 --> 00:27:56,206
They won't let him take
his cell phone to the set.
364
00:27:56,298 --> 00:27:58,966
Well, just get me
any number, okay, Janet?
365
00:27:59,051 --> 00:28:01,042
Coast Guard, the police.
366
00:28:01,135 --> 00:28:03,673
Just get me a number before
he spontaneously combusts.
367
00:28:03,763 --> 00:28:05,885
Let me see if I can get
the power taken out in Atlanta.
368
00:28:07,183 --> 00:28:09,507
Okay, go.
369
00:28:09,601 --> 00:28:12,637
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
370
00:28:12,729 --> 00:28:14,971
Okay, got it. Bye.
371
00:28:40,753 --> 00:28:43,670
- You!
- Don't get mad. I'll clean it up.
372
00:28:46,384 --> 00:28:47,758
Don't move!
373
00:28:51,346 --> 00:28:55,344
Look, look, this has just gotta
stop, okay? This is... This is wrong!
374
00:28:55,433 --> 00:28:58,268
You can't just go around breaking
into people's houses like this!
375
00:28:58,352 --> 00:29:00,391
It's against the law!
376
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,314
I'm just gonna call
the police now, all right?
377
00:29:03,398 --> 00:29:05,390
Tell them...
378
00:29:21,206 --> 00:29:23,244
Do I know you?
379
00:29:23,333 --> 00:29:25,491
I don't know.
380
00:29:32,091 --> 00:29:33,999
Why do you keep
comin' back here?
381
00:29:38,346 --> 00:29:40,254
I came back to get my plane.
382
00:29:41,558 --> 00:29:45,471
- And then I saw the popcorn.
- Your plane?
383
00:29:45,561 --> 00:29:49,143
My mom gave it to me for Christmas.
How'd you get it?
384
00:29:49,231 --> 00:29:52,017
That is my plane, okay?
385
00:29:52,108 --> 00:29:54,942
My dad just dropped it off
over here.
386
00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:59,902
Okay? It was in his attic for a
long time. I've had that plane for 30...
387
00:30:12,335 --> 00:30:14,492
thirty years.
388
00:30:14,586 --> 00:30:16,329
Then why does it have
my name on it?
389
00:30:16,421 --> 00:30:19,505
Look. Right here.
"Rusty."
390
00:30:22,177 --> 00:30:24,169
Russell Morley Duritz.
391
00:30:24,261 --> 00:30:27,677
I hate that stupid name!
392
00:30:27,764 --> 00:30:30,171
How'd you know my name?
393
00:30:30,267 --> 00:30:35,687
- Mother's name is Gloria.
Your father's name is Sam.
- How do you know all that?
394
00:30:35,772 --> 00:30:38,523
- Your sister's name is Joanne.
- But everybody calls her...
395
00:30:38,608 --> 00:30:41,014
- Josie.
- Josie.
396
00:31:24,565 --> 00:31:26,557
Hi.
397
00:31:28,485 --> 00:31:30,856
Hi.
398
00:31:30,945 --> 00:31:34,812
Are you who I think you are?
399
00:31:34,907 --> 00:31:37,362
I don't know.
400
00:31:37,451 --> 00:31:40,701
How did I get here?
401
00:31:40,787 --> 00:31:42,494
I don't know.
402
00:31:44,958 --> 00:31:47,199
Holy smokes.
403
00:31:47,293 --> 00:31:50,247
How old are you?
404
00:31:50,337 --> 00:31:53,207
Forty in a couple days.
405
00:31:53,298 --> 00:31:56,998
That is old.
406
00:31:58,344 --> 00:32:01,677
I'm turning eight in a couple days.
407
00:32:01,764 --> 00:32:04,930
Eight.
408
00:32:05,017 --> 00:32:07,009
You're eight.
409
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:09,717
I'm eight.
410
00:32:09,812 --> 00:32:12,053
This is scary.
411
00:32:12,148 --> 00:32:14,935
No.
412
00:32:15,025 --> 00:32:17,231
This is hilarious.
413
00:32:32,290 --> 00:32:37,628
All right. I'm just going to
the kitchen. I'm gonna make a sandwich.
414
00:32:37,712 --> 00:32:40,997
There's safety in sandwiches.
415
00:32:41,090 --> 00:32:45,169
See?
There's safety in sandwiches, see?
416
00:32:45,261 --> 00:32:50,301
It's funny how he knew
that we called Joanne "Josie."
417
00:32:50,390 --> 00:32:54,884
But only I know
the secret name...
418
00:32:54,977 --> 00:32:59,721
I had for Aunt Cathy when she
was having her epileptic spells.
419
00:32:59,815 --> 00:33:01,807
Aunt Spazzy!
420
00:33:03,985 --> 00:33:06,985
Safety.
Safety in a sandwich.
421
00:33:07,072 --> 00:33:09,147
Safety in a sandwich.
422
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,240
Safety in a sandwich.
Safety...
423
00:33:14,703 --> 00:33:15,901
Get out!
424
00:33:15,996 --> 00:33:18,284
Okay, hallucination?
Get out!
425
00:33:18,373 --> 00:33:20,281
- Am I having a nightmare?
- No.
426
00:33:20,375 --> 00:33:22,497
You are not having
a nightmare, you see.
427
00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:25,502
You do not exist.
428
00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:30,165
I am having a nightmare, okay,
and my nervous breakdown.
429
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,927
This is my first nervous breakdown,
so I'm not quite sure
how they're supposed to go.
430
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,846
But I'm pretty sure that I'm dreaming,
you understand? Dreaming! Dreaming!
431
00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:38,467
Dreaming! Dreaming!
Okay?
432
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:40,680
I don't think you're dreaming...
433
00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:43,519
'cause you're talking,
and your eye is sort of twitching.
434
00:33:43,603 --> 00:33:48,180
Hey! I don't have time
to go crazy, okay?
435
00:33:48,274 --> 00:33:51,025
So if you want me to go crazy,
you're gonna have to get on the phone...
436
00:33:51,111 --> 00:33:55,155
and call Janet just like everybody else
and schedule an appointment!
437
00:33:56,741 --> 00:33:59,112
Ah. Ah, good. Okay.
438
00:33:59,201 --> 00:34:01,525
Make contact with the outside world.
439
00:34:01,619 --> 00:34:04,655
- Hi, Janet. It's Russ.
- Hi. You okay?
- No, no, good.
440
00:34:04,748 --> 00:34:08,745
Uh-huh. Nothing. Fine. No,
I just came upstairs to return my calls.
441
00:34:08,834 --> 00:34:12,333
You wanna hear something funny?
I was downstairs and now I'm upstairs.
442
00:34:12,421 --> 00:34:14,044
- Hey.
- You see...
443
00:34:14,131 --> 00:34:17,665
- You dropped this.
- Russ. Hello?
444
00:34:17,759 --> 00:34:21,459
Safety in a sandwich.
Safety in a sandwich. Safety!
445
00:34:21,554 --> 00:34:24,424
Safety in a sandwich.
446
00:34:29,227 --> 00:34:31,800
You are just a hallucination!
447
00:34:31,897 --> 00:34:34,434
One that is about to disappear.
448
00:34:36,818 --> 00:34:39,308
Prepare to disappear!
449
00:34:44,032 --> 00:34:46,071
Prepare to disappear.
450
00:34:48,202 --> 00:34:50,111
I'm sitting on the floor.
451
00:34:50,204 --> 00:34:52,873
I'm taking
the very powerful medication.
452
00:34:52,957 --> 00:34:56,325
Just waiting for it to kick in.
Prepare to disappear!
453
00:35:08,845 --> 00:35:11,418
Disappeared?
454
00:35:11,515 --> 00:35:14,349
Very powerful medicine
seems to be working.
455
00:35:17,561 --> 00:35:19,885
I'm still here.
456
00:35:52,593 --> 00:35:54,964
I'm not throwing your dismembered
enemies into the Dumpster.
457
00:35:55,053 --> 00:35:56,961
I've got my limits.
458
00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:02,972
Do you remember when I had you sign
those confidentiality papers
at the office?
459
00:36:03,060 --> 00:36:05,466
- Yeah.
- And do you remember me telling you...
460
00:36:05,562 --> 00:36:09,429
that if you ever said anything
to anyone about anything that
happens in this company...
461
00:36:09,524 --> 00:36:13,355
that I would not only sue you,
but I would bring you to financial ruin?
462
00:36:13,444 --> 00:36:16,314
Snore.
463
00:36:16,405 --> 00:36:18,396
Okay, then.
464
00:36:35,255 --> 00:36:39,299
You can, uh...
You can see him?
465
00:36:40,635 --> 00:36:44,217
Yes, I, um, can.
466
00:36:44,304 --> 00:36:47,055
You could see a little boy
standing there?
467
00:36:47,140 --> 00:36:49,630
Yes.
468
00:36:49,726 --> 00:36:51,932
I'm pretty sure.
469
00:36:53,187 --> 00:36:55,179
Okay.
470
00:36:58,984 --> 00:37:02,150
This little boy is me at age eight.
471
00:37:02,237 --> 00:37:04,644
And I want you
to make him disappear.
472
00:37:04,739 --> 00:37:06,446
- He's you?
- Yeah.
473
00:37:06,532 --> 00:37:07,646
- At age eight?
- Mm-hmm.
474
00:37:07,742 --> 00:37:11,656
And you want me
to make him disappear?
475
00:37:11,745 --> 00:37:14,532
Please.
476
00:37:14,623 --> 00:37:17,030
- How was the therapist this morning?
- Do it, Janet!
477
00:37:17,125 --> 00:37:21,454
- How am I supposed to make
a kid disappear?
- Hey, you are the assistant!
478
00:37:21,546 --> 00:37:23,454
Figure it out, okay?
479
00:37:23,547 --> 00:37:25,705
You yelled at me!
That is great. That... That helps.
480
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,507
I feel I'm thinking more clearly.
481
00:37:27,592 --> 00:37:31,886
I-I feel I-I'm just more in touch
with my, my magic assistant powers.
482
00:37:33,014 --> 00:37:36,347
Alakazam, alakazam.
Dalakazam kazoo.
483
00:37:36,433 --> 00:37:38,924
Boom! Presto! Ha!
484
00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:43,348
- Hi.
- Didn't work.
485
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,681
I should've worn
my magic bra and panties.
486
00:37:47,068 --> 00:37:48,894
Get in the car.
487
00:37:50,488 --> 00:37:53,239
- I'm really disappointed in you, Janet.
- Oh, fired, I hope.
488
00:37:53,324 --> 00:37:56,942
- No. Forget about your bonus.
- Oh, boo hoo. What about my dental?
489
00:37:57,035 --> 00:37:59,989
My boss appears
to have lost his mind.
490
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,700
Sure you wouldn't rather
stay here with me?
491
00:38:02,790 --> 00:38:04,283
I'll be okay.
492
00:38:09,004 --> 00:38:13,914
Waaah! Waaah!
Somebody call the "waaambulance"!
493
00:38:15,469 --> 00:38:17,710
What are you
crying about anyway?
494
00:38:17,803 --> 00:38:19,427
I just wanna go home.
495
00:38:19,514 --> 00:38:21,719
Well, I'm trying
to get you home, okay?
496
00:38:21,807 --> 00:38:24,593
- Am I in trouble?
- You're gonna be in trouble
if you wipe that snot...
497
00:38:24,685 --> 00:38:27,769
on my calfskin seat...
Don't do it.
498
00:38:27,854 --> 00:38:29,893
Just try and remember
where you live, okay?
499
00:38:29,981 --> 00:38:34,025
- You should know that.
- Well, I don't know that.
We moved 12 times.
500
00:38:34,109 --> 00:38:36,101
We move a dozen times?
501
00:38:36,195 --> 00:38:40,986
- Yes. A dozen is 12. We moved 12 times.
- What happens?
502
00:38:41,074 --> 00:38:43,113
What happens?
A big truck comes...
503
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,201
they put all your stuff inside,
and you move to another house.
504
00:38:46,287 --> 00:38:49,702
- Twelve times.
- Look! There it is right there!
Remember it now?
505
00:38:59,215 --> 00:39:03,426
- No.
- Look, that's where we
fell off the roof last year.
506
00:39:03,511 --> 00:39:09,215
That's the bush we fell onto.
And that's where the really big possum
crawled under the house.
507
00:39:09,308 --> 00:39:12,308
- Remember?
- Yeah, that was one of
life's big events...
508
00:39:12,393 --> 00:39:14,350
when the possum
crawled under the house.
509
00:39:14,436 --> 00:39:18,268
- How could I forget?
- You don't remember the possum?
510
00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:20,348
It was, like, this big!
511
00:39:20,442 --> 00:39:23,727
And it had
really long teeth.
512
00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:28,031
He took our sneaker
in his mouth and ran off with it.
You've gotta remember that.
513
00:39:28,115 --> 00:39:30,321
Hey, I don't remember
the possum, okay?
514
00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:33,693
I hardly remember
living here at all.
515
00:39:33,787 --> 00:39:36,953
But you do, and that's
all that counts. Get out.
516
00:39:39,834 --> 00:39:44,163
Wait.
The house. It's different.
517
00:39:45,839 --> 00:39:48,923
- Bye, honey.
- Who are they?
518
00:39:54,014 --> 00:39:56,718
What am I gonna do?
519
00:40:00,185 --> 00:40:01,429
What now?
520
00:40:04,063 --> 00:40:07,064
Hey, will you knock off
the waterworks, okay?
521
00:40:07,150 --> 00:40:11,444
You know what the number one killer of
kids under the age of 8 is? Self-pity.
522
00:40:11,529 --> 00:40:13,604
And you're already pitiful enough.
523
00:40:13,697 --> 00:40:15,985
Well, at least I don't do this!
524
00:40:18,910 --> 00:40:20,736
Nice.
525
00:40:23,372 --> 00:40:28,994
Chester! Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
526
00:40:29,086 --> 00:40:31,493
Chester!
527
00:40:31,588 --> 00:40:34,956
Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
528
00:40:36,509 --> 00:40:38,797
Chester!
529
00:40:38,886 --> 00:40:42,301
Come on, Chester!
Chester!
530
00:40:42,389 --> 00:40:44,298
Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
531
00:40:44,391 --> 00:40:46,762
- Chester!
- Kid, will you stop that yelling?
532
00:40:46,852 --> 00:40:49,769
- Chester!
- Hey! Now!
533
00:40:51,147 --> 00:40:53,353
Where's Chester?
534
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,476
- Who is Chester?
- My dog.
535
00:40:56,568 --> 00:40:58,892
The dog I'm going to get
when I grow up.
536
00:40:58,987 --> 00:41:03,234
- Oh.
- The world's greatest dog.
537
00:41:03,324 --> 00:41:05,696
The one who rides
in the back of my truck...
538
00:41:05,784 --> 00:41:08,785
plays Frisbee,
goes everywhere I go.
539
00:41:08,871 --> 00:41:12,702
- Chester!
- Bad news, kid.
540
00:41:12,791 --> 00:41:16,539
- No dog here.
- What do you mean?
541
00:41:16,628 --> 00:41:19,747
I mean no dog.
There's no dog here.
542
00:41:19,838 --> 00:41:24,049
- I don't own a dog.
- No dog? No dog?
543
00:41:24,134 --> 00:41:28,083
- I grow up to be a guy with no dog?
- That's right.
544
00:41:28,179 --> 00:41:32,093
- Why don't I have a dog?
- Because I don't want a dog, okay?
545
00:41:33,309 --> 00:41:36,475
I can't take care of a dog.
546
00:41:36,562 --> 00:41:38,850
I travel all the time for work.
547
00:41:38,939 --> 00:41:41,145
You travel for work?
548
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:43,983
I grow up to fly jets, right?
I knew it!
549
00:41:44,069 --> 00:41:46,855
I knew I would grow up
to fly jets!
550
00:41:46,946 --> 00:41:48,938
Uh, no.
551
00:41:49,031 --> 00:41:52,566
- No, I don't fly jets?
- Not really, no.
552
00:41:52,659 --> 00:41:56,277
- What do I do then?
- You're an image consultant.
553
00:41:56,371 --> 00:41:59,573
What's that?
554
00:41:59,665 --> 00:42:01,491
Uh, it's...
555
00:42:01,584 --> 00:42:04,786
- What does a consultant do?
- Consult.
556
00:42:04,878 --> 00:42:07,665
But what do I do?
557
00:42:07,756 --> 00:42:10,460
You don't do anything.
You tell other people what to do.
558
00:42:10,550 --> 00:42:12,589
That's the fun of it.
You boss people around.
559
00:42:12,677 --> 00:42:14,633
Like this. Stop talking!
560
00:42:19,767 --> 00:42:22,850
Shouldn't there be
a lady here somewhere?
561
00:42:22,936 --> 00:42:26,850
What do you mean, a lady living here?
No. I live alone.
562
00:42:26,939 --> 00:42:29,893
I thought you said
you were 40.
563
00:42:29,984 --> 00:42:33,020
I said I was almost 40.
So?
564
00:42:33,112 --> 00:42:36,147
So, I'm 40,
I'm not married...
565
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,193
I don't fly jets,
and I don't have a dog?
566
00:42:41,577 --> 00:42:43,865
I grow up to be a loser.
567
00:42:46,457 --> 00:42:50,074
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
568
00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:53,204
That's my name too
569
00:42:53,296 --> 00:42:56,830
Whenever we go out
the people always shout
570
00:42:56,925 --> 00:42:58,963
There goes John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
571
00:42:59,051 --> 00:43:00,877
Da na na na na na na
572
00:43:00,970 --> 00:43:04,385
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
573
00:43:04,473 --> 00:43:07,426
That's my name too
574
00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:10,636
Whenever we go out
the people always shout
575
00:43:10,728 --> 00:43:13,052
There goes John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
576
00:43:13,147 --> 00:43:16,064
Da na na na na na na
577
00:43:16,149 --> 00:43:19,683
Wow!
Look at it! Man!
578
00:43:19,777 --> 00:43:23,857
Gee! Holy smokes!
Holy Moses!
579
00:43:23,948 --> 00:43:25,856
Look at the moon!
580
00:43:27,660 --> 00:43:30,115
- Wow! Far out!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop that yelling!
581
00:43:30,203 --> 00:43:32,361
- Holy Moses!
- What are you doing up?
582
00:43:32,456 --> 00:43:34,531
Look at it!
It's huge!
583
00:43:34,624 --> 00:43:38,158
What is with you people?
It's the moon, okay?
584
00:43:38,252 --> 00:43:40,659
You travel 30 years
across time...
585
00:43:40,755 --> 00:43:43,625
and all you can do is stand out here
and scream about the moon coming up?
586
00:43:43,715 --> 00:43:47,665
But you can see the man in the moon
really good tonight!
587
00:43:47,761 --> 00:43:49,883
Well, did he speak to you?
588
00:43:49,971 --> 00:43:52,047
Did he invite you up
for a little bit of cheese?
589
00:43:52,139 --> 00:43:54,630
Did he blow fart bubbles
out of his butt, huh?
590
00:43:54,726 --> 00:43:56,717
Because if he didn't,
then there really isn't any reason...
591
00:43:56,810 --> 00:43:58,885
to be excited about the moon, is there?
592
00:43:58,979 --> 00:44:02,513
Sorry.
I'll never get excited again.
593
00:44:02,607 --> 00:44:04,516
Obviously.
594
00:44:05,902 --> 00:44:07,395
Wait!
595
00:44:07,487 --> 00:44:09,728
Can I ask you a question?
596
00:44:11,657 --> 00:44:15,440
Why does the moon get,
like, orangy sometimes?
597
00:44:18,788 --> 00:44:22,832
Because there is a, uh...
598
00:44:22,916 --> 00:44:25,489
a band of, uh...
599
00:44:31,841 --> 00:44:36,052
Just shut up
and go to sleep, okay?
600
00:44:36,136 --> 00:44:38,258
Or better yet, go away!
601
00:44:38,347 --> 00:44:42,724
I knew it! I grow up to be a guy
who doesn't know anything!
602
00:44:44,393 --> 00:44:47,097
And who doesn't have a dog!
603
00:44:52,818 --> 00:44:56,317
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
604
00:44:56,405 --> 00:44:59,405
That's my name too
605
00:45:05,204 --> 00:45:07,196
Kid?
606
00:45:19,383 --> 00:45:21,091
Good.
607
00:45:27,766 --> 00:45:31,597
Maybe Russ here can explain it a little
bit better than I've been able to. Russ?
608
00:45:31,686 --> 00:45:33,642
Here's how we see things,
Mr Vivian.
609
00:45:33,729 --> 00:45:36,266
Call me Vivian.
610
00:45:36,356 --> 00:45:38,265
Okay. Vivian.
611
00:45:38,358 --> 00:45:40,682
You're going public,
you're making an IPO...
612
00:45:40,777 --> 00:45:42,685
your software's brilliant,
and that's all great.
613
00:45:42,778 --> 00:45:45,944
But if you wanna make Fortune 500,
you have to understand...
614
00:45:46,032 --> 00:45:48,569
that at a certain point, people are
gonna want to get a good look at you.
615
00:45:48,659 --> 00:45:50,236
And that's where things
get a little dicey.
616
00:45:50,327 --> 00:45:52,996
Dicey. That's right.
Very, very dicey.
617
00:45:53,079 --> 00:45:56,282
I don't see why I
have to change a thing.
618
00:45:56,374 --> 00:45:58,745
Okay. Let's look at this.
619
00:45:58,835 --> 00:46:01,242
- You live in a cabin...
- I won't cut my hair...
620
00:46:01,336 --> 00:46:04,290
and I won't shave my beard.
621
00:46:06,216 --> 00:46:08,291
Let me give it to you
straight, Z.Z.
622
00:46:08,385 --> 00:46:11,385
If you wanna ride your cow to Farm Aid,
you don't have to change a thing.
623
00:46:11,471 --> 00:46:13,379
But if you wanna make the front page
of the Wall Street Journal...
624
00:46:13,473 --> 00:46:16,010
there is one thing you're
going to have to change.
625
00:46:17,435 --> 00:46:19,142
The, uh...
626
00:46:21,772 --> 00:46:25,472
To, um... Uh...
627
00:46:28,903 --> 00:46:31,607
- Someone you know?
- What?
628
00:46:31,696 --> 00:46:34,899
- Friend of yours?
- No!
629
00:46:34,992 --> 00:46:37,280
It... It's a little boy.
630
00:46:37,368 --> 00:46:40,238
- Hello!
- I don't know any little kids.
631
00:46:40,330 --> 00:46:42,737
- I'm starving!
- Just tragic that parents...
632
00:46:42,832 --> 00:46:44,823
would send their kids out
to beg like that.
633
00:46:44,916 --> 00:46:47,038
- Very, very sad.
- I can't believe it.
- Russ!
634
00:46:47,127 --> 00:46:49,997
Russ Duritz, I'm hungry!
635
00:46:50,088 --> 00:46:54,381
Feed me!
Ugh! I'm hungry!
636
00:46:54,466 --> 00:46:58,795
If you'll excuse me for
just a moment, please.
637
00:46:58,887 --> 00:47:01,424
What are you doing here?
I thought you disappeared.
638
00:47:01,515 --> 00:47:04,848
- I don't know how to disappear.
I'm hungry!
- Hello.
639
00:47:07,645 --> 00:47:09,933
I'm Amy. Who are you?
640
00:47:10,022 --> 00:47:12,014
I'm Rusty.
641
00:47:13,358 --> 00:47:16,312
And who is Rusty?
642
00:47:16,402 --> 00:47:18,359
- My nephew.
- Your nephew?
643
00:47:18,446 --> 00:47:20,319
Yes. My sister's kid.
644
00:47:20,407 --> 00:47:24,534
- The one who's going
to college in the autumn?
- No. The other one.
645
00:47:24,619 --> 00:47:27,738
Melissa?
646
00:47:27,830 --> 00:47:30,746
Yes, Amy.
This is Melissa.
647
00:47:30,832 --> 00:47:32,788
No, it is the other one.
648
00:47:32,876 --> 00:47:36,042
- The one she doesn't like to talk about.
- Oh, I see.
649
00:47:36,128 --> 00:47:38,286
Which completely explains
why you never told me about him.
650
00:47:38,381 --> 00:47:40,836
Maybe I don't tell you every thing.
651
00:47:43,676 --> 00:47:45,668
So are you having fun
with your uncle?
652
00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:49,344
Not really.
He made me sleep outside...
653
00:47:49,432 --> 00:47:51,589
he didn't give me
any breakfast...
654
00:47:51,684 --> 00:47:53,760
and he doesn't have a dog.
655
00:47:53,852 --> 00:47:55,761
That is a problem.
656
00:47:55,855 --> 00:47:58,641
- You made him sleep outside?
- He slept in a tent.
657
00:47:58,732 --> 00:48:00,854
- You've got a tent?
- It was his tent.
658
00:48:00,942 --> 00:48:03,646
You didn't give him any breakfast.
659
00:48:03,736 --> 00:48:07,864
He can stand to miss a meal.
660
00:48:07,948 --> 00:48:11,992
Rusty, are you hungry?
661
00:48:12,077 --> 00:48:15,112
- Starved.
- Let's go and get some bacon and eggs.
662
00:48:15,204 --> 00:48:17,492
No, no, no, no.
Rusty can't have bacon and eggs.
663
00:48:17,582 --> 00:48:19,490
I've gotta get him
back to his mom right now.
664
00:48:19,583 --> 00:48:21,824
Don't forget Kenny's
this afternoon.
665
00:48:21,919 --> 00:48:24,623
- Bye, Rusty!
- Bye!
666
00:48:24,713 --> 00:48:27,120
Nice to meet you.
667
00:48:33,762 --> 00:48:37,712
- Just get that moony look off your face.
- I like that Amy lady.
668
00:48:37,808 --> 00:48:40,476
I bet she likes dogs.
669
00:48:40,561 --> 00:48:42,932
I don't know what's worse,
the fact that I'm stuck with you...
670
00:48:43,021 --> 00:48:44,929
or the idea that I don't
know what to do about it.
671
00:48:45,023 --> 00:48:46,979
Why don't we eat something?
672
00:48:47,066 --> 00:48:50,814
Why? Because you don't know what to do,
you just wanna stuff your face?
673
00:48:50,902 --> 00:48:54,401
No, because it says to
up there in the sky.
674
00:48:59,493 --> 00:49:03,407
Okay. Why don't we
eat something?
675
00:49:07,251 --> 00:49:09,159
What can I get ya?
676
00:49:09,252 --> 00:49:12,371
Um, I'll have French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
677
00:49:13,506 --> 00:49:16,422
- Just bring him something healthy, okay?
- Sorry, sir.
678
00:49:16,509 --> 00:49:19,130
We only serve
starchy, sugary, salty food...
679
00:49:19,219 --> 00:49:22,670
high in fat and cholesterol
that tastes delicious.
680
00:49:22,764 --> 00:49:25,052
Comforts people
deep down inside.
681
00:49:25,142 --> 00:49:27,846
Okay. I'll have French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
682
00:49:27,935 --> 00:49:30,852
- You want a milk shake with that?
- Chocolate, please.
683
00:49:30,938 --> 00:49:33,854
Extra whipped cream.
684
00:49:33,941 --> 00:49:38,436
- And for you?
- You know, I think I'd just
like the magic bean omelet.
685
00:49:38,528 --> 00:49:43,023
Aw, did somebody not get their
coffee today? I'm gonna go get it!
686
00:49:43,116 --> 00:49:45,571
Maybe you can bring it
before the diner disappears.
687
00:49:45,659 --> 00:49:47,781
What are you
lookin' at, Sparky?
688
00:49:48,953 --> 00:49:50,862
Oh, man.
689
00:49:53,291 --> 00:49:56,706
- What are you doing here?
- Having French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
690
00:49:56,794 --> 00:50:00,293
That's not what I'm talking about.
What did you come here for?
691
00:50:01,589 --> 00:50:04,506
I don't know.
My model aeroplane?
692
00:50:04,593 --> 00:50:07,427
Well, you already got that,
and we're still screwed up.
693
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:10,714
We're even more screwed up
than we were before.
694
00:50:12,808 --> 00:50:16,011
- What am I gonna do with you?
- What do you wanna do with me?
695
00:50:16,102 --> 00:50:18,178
I want to put you
on a diet, chubby!
696
00:50:18,272 --> 00:50:21,023
Fix you up so you aren't
such a pathetic loser.
697
00:50:21,107 --> 00:50:24,855
This is what I do
for a living, okay?
698
00:50:24,944 --> 00:50:28,727
Making people look good
is what I do.
699
00:50:28,822 --> 00:50:32,071
Problem is...
700
00:50:32,159 --> 00:50:35,527
there's so much to do with you,
I don't know where to start.
701
00:50:35,620 --> 00:50:38,490
Well, I'd like to not get
my butt kicked so much.
702
00:50:38,581 --> 00:50:41,332
Kids are always laughing at us.
703
00:50:41,417 --> 00:50:45,248
It sorta hurts my feelings.
704
00:50:45,337 --> 00:50:47,080
Why didn't I think of this before?
705
00:50:47,171 --> 00:50:50,207
This is what you came for, okay?
706
00:50:50,300 --> 00:50:53,751
I just gotta teach you
how to fight. By the way...
707
00:50:53,844 --> 00:50:55,753
they're not laughing at us,
they're laughing at you.
708
00:50:55,846 --> 00:50:57,921
When you get to be me,
they laugh, they die!
709
00:50:58,015 --> 00:51:00,801
- They laugh, they die?
- Yes.
710
00:51:00,892 --> 00:51:03,845
You laugh, you die!
You laugh, you die!
711
00:51:03,936 --> 00:51:06,142
You laugh, you die!
Pow! Pow!
712
00:51:06,230 --> 00:51:10,274
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow!
713
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:13,525
- Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
- Okay, okay. Okay, okay, shut up! Shut...
714
00:51:13,611 --> 00:51:16,730
- Hey, guess what.
- What?
- I gotta pee.
715
00:51:16,823 --> 00:51:20,737
Are you sure you know someone
who can teach me how to fight?
716
00:51:20,827 --> 00:51:23,447
Yeah, I think
I could find somebody.
717
00:51:25,998 --> 00:51:28,951
Isn't it cool how we both
have to go at the same time?
718
00:51:29,042 --> 00:51:33,086
Yes. I'll cherish this moment
for a lifetime.
719
00:51:44,785 --> 00:51:47,322
- I'm just gonna have one more piece.
Just one... Just one more piece.
- What do you think of this one?
720
00:51:47,412 --> 00:51:49,404
- Hey!
- It's too short.
- Oh, God.
721
00:51:49,497 --> 00:51:52,830
Please tell me that's not... Hey.
722
00:51:52,917 --> 00:51:54,908
You're five weeks away
from defending your title.
723
00:51:55,002 --> 00:51:56,994
- What are you doing eating pizza?
- But I... I'm a nervous eater.
724
00:51:57,088 --> 00:51:59,543
- Beat it.
- You'd be nervous too if you was
getting married tomorrow.
725
00:51:59,631 --> 00:52:04,292
Yeah, I'd be nervous
that my bride would dump me
because I'm a big, fat tub of lard.
726
00:52:04,386 --> 00:52:07,137
- Hi, Giselle.
- Hi, Russ.
727
00:52:10,099 --> 00:52:13,432
- What is that? Is that 20 more pounds?
- No.
728
00:52:13,519 --> 00:52:16,969
- Hey! Put the...
- Damn, he won't even let you eat, huh?
729
00:52:17,063 --> 00:52:19,388
- Does he look like he needs any pizza?
- Who is he?
730
00:52:19,483 --> 00:52:21,640
This is Russ's nephew, Rusty.
731
00:52:21,734 --> 00:52:25,399
Oh, I didn't know you had two nephews.
732
00:52:25,487 --> 00:52:27,942
- How do I look, baby? Look.
- Mmm, like Adonis.
733
00:52:29,365 --> 00:52:32,152
Hey, hey, Adonis. Adonis.
734
00:52:32,244 --> 00:52:34,948
- What?
- Can I use your boxing ring?
735
00:52:35,037 --> 00:52:37,113
I wanna give pudge-boy here
some lessons.
736
00:52:37,206 --> 00:52:41,120
- Maybe you could step in,
show him a few moves.
- Yeah, I would be glad to.
737
00:52:42,627 --> 00:52:47,418
That way, you can punch
his lights out the next time
he tries to call you pudge-boy.
738
00:52:47,507 --> 00:52:49,498
Groovy!
739
00:52:52,136 --> 00:52:55,302
First things first. You tryin'
to get knocked out or something?
740
00:52:55,389 --> 00:52:58,224
All right, well, then get your hands
up then. You gotta protect that chin.
741
00:52:58,308 --> 00:53:00,430
I pop you on that chin, that's it.
742
00:53:00,518 --> 00:53:04,432
Remember, this is number one, this is
number two. You punch one, two.
743
00:53:04,521 --> 00:53:07,890
One, two. Go ahead. Try it.
One... That's it. That's it.
744
00:53:07,983 --> 00:53:10,355
- Get out of the way.
- Come on.
745
00:53:11,820 --> 00:53:14,145
Come on. Good.
Come on. Come on.
746
00:53:16,324 --> 00:53:19,942
- You hit me.
- Yes, unfortunately, I did hit you...
747
00:53:20,035 --> 00:53:22,442
and I'm not gonna beat myself up
about it.
748
00:53:22,537 --> 00:53:24,695
Or maybe I will. Come on.
749
00:53:24,790 --> 00:53:26,865
Fight. Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
750
00:53:26,958 --> 00:53:30,041
Come on, kid.
Fight. Come on. Come on.
751
00:53:30,128 --> 00:53:33,995
- Hit him. One, two. One, two.
- Go on, Rusty. Punch his lights out!
752
00:53:34,090 --> 00:53:36,331
- Hey. Whose side are you on?
- Throw it. Throw it.
753
00:53:42,472 --> 00:53:44,927
Whoa, whoa!
Take it easy, little Tyson!
754
00:53:45,015 --> 00:53:47,422
What are you gonna do next,
bite his ear off? We don't
hit 'em when they're down.
755
00:53:47,518 --> 00:53:51,052
- They hit me when I'm down.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! Who? Who? Who?
756
00:53:51,146 --> 00:53:54,978
- The kids at school.
- Kid's havin' some trouble at school.
757
00:53:55,066 --> 00:53:57,603
Well, why didn't you say that, Russ?
I'm teachin' the boy boxin'.
758
00:53:57,694 --> 00:53:59,686
He don't need that.
He needs street fightin'.
759
00:53:59,779 --> 00:54:02,234
Why don't you show him that WWF
scissors hold? Show him that one.
760
00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:05,110
- Here we go. Ready?
- Whoa!
761
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,738
Now that I can use.
762
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:10,867
Get off me.
763
00:54:18,045 --> 00:54:19,953
Have you noticed
how alike those two are?
764
00:54:20,047 --> 00:54:22,122
Makes sense.
They're related, right?
765
00:54:23,925 --> 00:54:25,917
I suppose so.
766
00:54:29,847 --> 00:54:32,419
Russ Duritz's office.
How may I help you?
767
00:54:32,516 --> 00:54:34,473
- Yeah, it's me. What's up?
- Oh. It's you.
768
00:54:34,559 --> 00:54:37,476
I hadn't heard from you in four hours.
I'd assumed you were dead.
769
00:54:37,562 --> 00:54:40,017
- Hey, how's mini-you?
- That's hilarious, Janet.
770
00:54:40,106 --> 00:54:42,857
- What's up?
- You got 19 messages, last count.
771
00:54:42,941 --> 00:54:44,518
- You want 'em?
- Let me have 'em.
772
00:54:44,610 --> 00:54:48,109
Let's see, uh...
Bob Riley.
773
00:54:48,196 --> 00:54:51,778
Bob Riley. Not Bob Riley.
Not Bob Riley. Bob Riley.
774
00:54:51,866 --> 00:54:55,530
Bob Riley. I'm sure there's another one
in here. Just a second.
Here's Bob Riley.
775
00:54:56,453 --> 00:54:58,445
Hey!
776
00:55:00,498 --> 00:55:02,324
Hey, Amy. Where are you going?
777
00:55:02,417 --> 00:55:04,409
My place for some ice cream.
See you there.
778
00:55:04,503 --> 00:55:06,660
- Ice cream?
- Bye!
779
00:55:14,845 --> 00:55:18,509
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
780
00:55:18,598 --> 00:55:20,673
Are you our girlfriend?
781
00:55:22,851 --> 00:55:25,602
That's a funny way of putting it.
782
00:55:25,688 --> 00:55:27,846
Mostly, no.
783
00:55:29,066 --> 00:55:31,638
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
784
00:55:31,734 --> 00:55:34,403
Are you our nephew?
785
00:55:35,947 --> 00:55:37,939
Mostly...
786
00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:42,068
no.
787
00:55:43,954 --> 00:55:46,871
- But you are related, aren't you?
- Uh-huh.
788
00:55:48,333 --> 00:55:50,740
- How close?
- Pretty.
789
00:55:50,835 --> 00:55:52,957
How close is pretty close?
790
00:55:53,963 --> 00:55:55,587
Pretty darn.
791
00:55:59,342 --> 00:56:01,548
Oh, my God.
792
00:56:01,636 --> 00:56:03,343
- Hi.
- He's your son.
793
00:56:03,429 --> 00:56:06,050
- What?
- He's your son! You have a son!
794
00:56:06,140 --> 00:56:08,761
Hey! Whatcha... Get off! Hey!
795
00:56:08,851 --> 00:56:10,889
And all this time
you never even breathed a word!
796
00:56:10,978 --> 00:56:15,603
And you're some deadbeat dad who had
visitation rights today or something.
797
00:56:15,690 --> 00:56:17,813
- Amy, do you know how...
- And who's the mother, anyway?
798
00:56:17,900 --> 00:56:21,897
Don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
I know. It's that Swedish chick,
isn't it?
799
00:56:21,987 --> 00:56:24,691
Yeah, that Ingesborg or Smorgasbord
or whatever her name is.
800
00:56:24,782 --> 00:56:28,613
- Inga?
- Not that I care, of course,
about who or where or what you do!
801
00:56:28,702 --> 00:56:32,913
- Amy, he is not Swedish.
- And I'm not his son.
802
00:56:32,997 --> 00:56:34,740
Honest.
803
00:56:36,917 --> 00:56:39,834
Then who are you?
804
00:56:45,883 --> 00:56:48,374
Russ?
805
00:56:49,970 --> 00:56:54,631
Because I've been watching the two
of you together, and I swear to God...
806
00:56:54,725 --> 00:56:56,716
there's something very...
807
00:56:57,685 --> 00:56:59,428
strange going on.
808
00:57:01,105 --> 00:57:03,939
- We have to tell her.
- We are not going to tell her.
809
00:57:04,025 --> 00:57:06,776
- Tell me what?
- Come on. Do it!
810
00:57:06,860 --> 00:57:09,979
Hey! Zip it!
We're not gonna tell her, okay?
811
00:57:10,071 --> 00:57:13,107
Besides, she won't believe us anyway.
She'll just think you take after me.
812
00:57:13,199 --> 00:57:15,737
- Then do the knuckle.
- That's not gonna convince her.
813
00:57:15,826 --> 00:57:19,277
Then tell her something
only I would know, and then
she can ask me about the same thing.
814
00:57:19,371 --> 00:57:23,035
- Like Aunt Spazzy.
- How is that gonna work? Think about it.
815
00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:25,995
- Then show her the scar.
- Anybody could have a scar.
816
00:57:26,086 --> 00:57:28,872
- What about the birthmark?
- Well, that could be a coincidence too.
817
00:57:28,963 --> 00:57:31,500
- I know she'll believe us.
- She is not going to believe us.
818
00:57:31,591 --> 00:57:34,507
- I know she'll believe us.
- She is not going to believe us.
819
00:57:34,593 --> 00:57:36,419
- She will!
- She won't!
- She will!
- She won't!
820
00:57:36,512 --> 00:57:38,420
- She will!
- Hey!
821
00:57:38,513 --> 00:57:40,588
I wish I was standing
on a carpet.
822
00:57:47,104 --> 00:57:49,890
- Told ya.
- Amy.
823
00:57:51,232 --> 00:57:55,526
...aboard that ship in...
...which process the potatoes
into a variety of products.
824
00:58:01,241 --> 00:58:03,814
- Stop biting.
- Leave me alone.
825
00:58:05,203 --> 00:58:08,737
I'm advertising terror
and bewilderment.
826
00:58:08,831 --> 00:58:14,833
Holy smokes. Ninety-nine channels,
and there's nothing on.
827
00:58:16,464 --> 00:58:18,954
How can this be?
828
00:58:21,968 --> 00:58:23,959
I have no idea.
829
00:58:25,929 --> 00:58:27,921
Look at him.
830
00:58:28,015 --> 00:58:30,303
He's so embarrassing.
831
00:58:31,810 --> 00:58:34,680
You're not embarrassing.
832
00:58:34,770 --> 00:58:36,312
You're adorable.
833
00:58:39,692 --> 00:58:42,360
Then.
You're adorable then.
834
00:58:45,071 --> 00:58:47,526
Stop picking!
835
00:58:47,616 --> 00:58:51,150
Look at that haircut.
I look like Herman's Hermits.
836
00:58:51,244 --> 00:58:55,621
And I "shpeak" like I got
a mouth full of "shpit."
837
00:58:55,706 --> 00:58:57,615
Well, of course you do.
838
00:58:57,707 --> 00:59:01,407
Doesn't the fact that I'm
a pathetic dweeb make you despise me?
839
00:59:06,799 --> 00:59:09,254
No.
840
00:59:09,343 --> 00:59:11,584
Why?
841
00:59:11,678 --> 00:59:13,753
Do you despise you?
842
00:59:16,891 --> 00:59:19,975
When I look at him,
all I see are awful memories.
843
00:59:20,060 --> 00:59:22,977
Memories I have been spending
most of my life trying to forget.
844
00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:29,272
I'm sorry.
845
00:59:42,705 --> 00:59:45,243
Hello? Kenny.
846
00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:47,906
Nauseous about the wedding tomorrow?
847
00:59:48,002 --> 00:59:50,492
My God, the wedding tomorrow.
Hang on a minute.
848
00:59:50,588 --> 00:59:53,125
Wedding tomorrow.
What am I gonna do with him?
849
00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:55,586
- We'll take him with us.
- What?
850
00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:59,886
To an important event? Are you out
of your mind? Take him with us?
851
00:59:59,971 --> 01:00:03,173
This is an important event
with people who respect me.
852
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:05,839
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- Hey!
853
01:00:05,934 --> 01:00:10,347
- Ohh.
- Hey! I forbid you
to bond with this boy!
854
01:00:10,438 --> 01:00:14,186
What, Kenny?
Who got sick?
855
01:00:29,998 --> 01:00:33,995
Thank goodness your nephew
replaced little James.
856
01:00:34,085 --> 01:00:38,212
None of the other children
was fat enough to fit in his clothes.
857
01:00:45,678 --> 01:00:48,844
It's okay. It's okay.
Don't worry about it.
858
01:00:48,930 --> 01:00:53,674
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
- Yester-me. Yester-you
859
01:00:53,768 --> 01:00:58,097
- Yesterday
- Ooh-ooh
860
01:00:59,815 --> 01:01:01,973
What happened to
861
01:01:03,819 --> 01:01:06,226
The world we knew
862
01:01:08,198 --> 01:01:11,364
When we would dream and scheme
863
01:01:11,450 --> 01:01:15,779
-And while the time away
- Don't worry.
864
01:01:15,871 --> 01:01:20,661
Just take it off and shove it under
the table when no one's looking.
865
01:01:20,750 --> 01:01:22,243
- Really?
- Yeah.
866
01:01:25,296 --> 01:01:29,163
- Where did it go
- Where did it go
867
01:01:29,257 --> 01:01:32,424
That yester-glow
868
01:01:32,511 --> 01:01:33,673
- Ha-ha.
- Hello.
869
01:01:33,761 --> 01:01:38,174
- How are you?
- When we could feel
the wheels of life
870
01:01:38,265 --> 01:01:40,423
Turn our way
871
01:01:40,518 --> 01:01:44,811
Yester-me
Yester-you
872
01:01:44,897 --> 01:01:46,520
Yesterday
873
01:01:48,233 --> 01:01:51,518
- I know. Ohh...
- I had a dream
874
01:01:51,611 --> 01:01:53,187
So did you
875
01:01:53,279 --> 01:01:57,691
Life was warm
and love was true
876
01:01:59,326 --> 01:02:04,781
- Two kids who followed all the rules
- Holy smokes.
877
01:02:04,872 --> 01:02:06,531
- Russ! Russ!
- Yester-fools
878
01:02:06,624 --> 01:02:09,293
-And now. Now it seems
- Excuse me, Clarissa.
879
01:02:09,376 --> 01:02:12,827
- You're interrupting us. We're dancing.
- But it's really important.
880
01:02:12,922 --> 01:02:16,290
- Not now, kid.
- But it's really, really, rrrr...
881
01:02:16,383 --> 01:02:22,586
Werejust a cruel and foolish game
we had to play
882
01:02:22,679 --> 01:02:25,514
- Drivin' you crazy, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yester-me. Yester-you
883
01:02:25,599 --> 01:02:28,220
- It's different when they're your own.
Speaking of which,
- Yesterday
884
01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:31,144
when you gonna give up your evil ways
and settle down?
885
01:02:31,230 --> 01:02:33,268
- As soon as you become
available again, Clarissa.
- When I recall
886
01:02:33,356 --> 01:02:35,562
- I'm serious.
- So am I.
- What we had
887
01:02:35,650 --> 01:02:39,730
I feel lost
I feel sad
888
01:02:41,738 --> 01:02:46,731
- With nothing but the memory of
- Amy, I have a question.
889
01:02:46,826 --> 01:02:48,948
- Oh. Yester-love
- A big one.
890
01:02:49,037 --> 01:02:52,037
- Okay.
-And now. Now it seems
891
01:02:52,123 --> 01:02:54,161
What about that pretty woman
you came with today?
892
01:02:54,249 --> 01:02:56,537
- You mean Amy? Nah, we work together.
- Those yester-dreams
893
01:02:56,627 --> 01:03:01,371
- I've known her for a really long time.
- I know we haven't known each other
very long.
894
01:03:01,464 --> 01:03:05,711
Don't worry about me.
When I meet the right person,
I'm sure I'll get around to asking.
895
01:03:05,801 --> 01:03:08,256
- Yester-me. Yester-you
- In case I never get around to asking...
896
01:03:10,139 --> 01:03:12,130
- Yesterday
- Somebody's making a move right now.
897
01:03:12,223 --> 01:03:15,888
Oh. Come on and sing it
Yester-me
898
01:03:15,977 --> 01:03:17,720
- Yester-you
- Amy...
899
01:03:17,812 --> 01:03:21,262
- Yesterday
- Will you marry me?
900
01:03:21,356 --> 01:03:24,310
Oh. Yester-me
901
01:03:24,401 --> 01:03:26,559
- Yester-you
- Okay, let's go.
- Hey!
902
01:03:26,653 --> 01:03:29,689
- Yesterday
- Let me go, you big jerk!
903
01:03:30,823 --> 01:03:32,862
Wait a minute. Stop.
He asked me a question.
904
01:03:32,950 --> 01:03:34,658
- Don't you want to know
what I was going to say?
- No.
905
01:03:34,743 --> 01:03:37,993
- No?
- No. He had no right
asking you what he did, okay?
906
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,286
- You and I aren't even...
- Well, we are!
- Since when?
907
01:03:40,373 --> 01:03:42,946
- MYOB!
- What?
908
01:03:43,042 --> 01:03:48,283
Mind your own beeswax.
Do you or do you not want to know
what I was going to say?
909
01:03:48,380 --> 01:03:51,795
- What were you gonna say?
- Yeah, what were you going to say?
910
01:03:51,883 --> 01:03:54,753
Try it again.
Less practised indifference.
911
01:03:54,845 --> 01:03:57,714
More warmth.
912
01:03:57,805 --> 01:04:00,722
- What were you going to say?
- What were you gonna say?
913
01:04:00,808 --> 01:04:03,214
So you want to know
what I was going to say.
914
01:04:05,770 --> 01:04:08,936
- Take a walk.
- I'm the one who asked her.
- Just go away.
915
01:04:21,201 --> 01:04:23,952
- What were you going to say?
- I was going to say...
916
01:04:25,121 --> 01:04:27,492
- I'll have to think about it.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
917
01:04:27,581 --> 01:04:30,784
Because, impossibly,
what had previously seemed to me...
918
01:04:30,876 --> 01:04:34,327
to be the worst idea in the universe
has, over the last 12 hours...
919
01:04:34,421 --> 01:04:36,828
transmogrified into
not such a terrible idea...
920
01:04:36,923 --> 01:04:40,172
opening a very small
window of opportunity for you.
921
01:04:40,260 --> 01:04:42,252
- For me?
- Yeah.
922
01:04:42,344 --> 01:04:47,219
Ah. And what if I didn't want
to take advantage of this opportunity?
923
01:04:47,307 --> 01:04:51,601
A part of you obviously
wants to, and it is that part
of you that is causing me...
924
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:56,555
to think about it.
925
01:05:09,744 --> 01:05:11,819
Are you...
926
01:05:11,913 --> 01:05:14,533
asking me...
927
01:05:14,623 --> 01:05:16,781
to think about it?
928
01:05:19,002 --> 01:05:21,788
Wait. Wait a minute.
929
01:05:21,879 --> 01:05:24,001
If you'll just wait, I...
930
01:05:24,090 --> 01:05:26,082
I'm gonna go get the valet... the car...
931
01:05:26,174 --> 01:05:28,925
the car from the...
932
01:05:31,805 --> 01:05:35,387
But now. Now he was ready
to start feeling the love.
933
01:05:35,474 --> 01:05:37,762
Oh. Yeah. Before the game this afternoon
with the visiting Orioles...
934
01:05:37,935 --> 01:05:41,683
Riley invited a dozen kids to barrage
him with chocolate cream pies...
935
01:05:41,772 --> 01:05:45,852
as a way to say. "I'm sorry. "
for what he claims is a simple case
of miscommunication.
936
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:50,064
Uncle Bob knows how to party!
937
01:05:53,365 --> 01:05:55,440
This is so much fun!
938
01:06:00,747 --> 01:06:05,041
- Some of these guys...
- So you crawled through the Dumpster
behind the bar after I left.
939
01:06:12,591 --> 01:06:16,374
I shot that.
I'm part of this.
940
01:06:17,512 --> 01:06:19,883
Tell me, do you know for certain
that he turned the funds over...
941
01:06:19,972 --> 01:06:21,964
or is he maybe still sitting on them?
942
01:06:24,518 --> 01:06:26,593
Poor little Amy.
943
01:06:26,687 --> 01:06:29,011
Mixed up with a rotten boss...
944
01:06:29,105 --> 01:06:31,263
who feels obligated
to his clients.
945
01:06:32,691 --> 01:06:35,727
- Do you know that the number one
killer of young men...
- Russ!
946
01:06:35,820 --> 01:06:38,939
The person I am pitying here
is not me.
947
01:06:41,407 --> 01:06:43,648
Look, it's all my fault.
948
01:06:43,743 --> 01:06:46,364
I made the big, stupid mistake.
949
01:06:49,373 --> 01:06:50,783
I thought you'd change.
950
01:06:57,631 --> 01:07:00,335
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
951
01:07:03,302 --> 01:07:06,552
Do you want to know what the saddest
part of this whole thing is?
952
01:07:12,185 --> 01:07:14,676
You could have been great.
953
01:07:54,472 --> 01:07:56,927
Man. Man!
954
01:07:58,100 --> 01:08:01,184
When do we ever stop blowing it?
955
01:08:02,312 --> 01:08:05,348
Russ, we've gotta change.
956
01:08:07,108 --> 01:08:09,100
We have to change.
957
01:08:19,619 --> 01:08:22,287
That's pretty cool,
how we both have to, uh...
958
01:08:39,637 --> 01:08:42,970
- It's our birthday tomorrow.
- Yeah, I know.
959
01:08:43,056 --> 01:08:46,140
- Could I ask you a question?
- Sure.
960
01:08:46,226 --> 01:08:48,764
- What happens next?
- What do you mean?
961
01:08:48,853 --> 01:08:50,845
I mean to me.
962
01:08:51,981 --> 01:08:56,441
Between being me and becoming you.
What happens?
963
01:08:56,527 --> 01:09:01,187
- Do I ever do anything right?
- Well, sure you do.
You do a lot of things right.
964
01:09:01,281 --> 01:09:03,818
- Like what?
- Well...
965
01:09:05,368 --> 01:09:08,284
you make it through
grade school alive, barely.
966
01:09:09,454 --> 01:09:13,072
In high school,
while you're still a loser...
967
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,408
you're no longer stupid.
968
01:09:15,502 --> 01:09:18,751
You work your butt off
and you get good grades.
969
01:09:18,838 --> 01:09:22,538
Very good grades. You end up
winning a scholarship to UCLA.
970
01:09:23,675 --> 01:09:26,545
- I'm smart?
- Very smart.
971
01:09:26,636 --> 01:09:28,758
But you're still a loser.
Hop in.
972
01:09:35,353 --> 01:09:37,974
Scoot over.
973
01:09:38,063 --> 01:09:41,646
In college, things start
to get a little bit better.
974
01:09:41,733 --> 01:09:45,979
You join the track team,
find a speech therapist...
975
01:09:46,070 --> 01:09:48,145
you continue to work your butt off...
976
01:09:48,239 --> 01:09:50,908
and you graduate
at the top of your class.
977
01:09:50,991 --> 01:09:53,695
You eventually go after
a master's degree in business.
978
01:09:53,785 --> 01:09:56,192
Where I work my butt off.
979
01:09:56,288 --> 01:09:58,908
Story of your life, kid.
980
01:09:58,998 --> 01:10:02,532
The good news is that, while you are
currently a pathetic dweeb...
981
01:10:02,626 --> 01:10:04,618
eventually you grow up to be me...
982
01:10:04,712 --> 01:10:07,284
a high-powered, affluent chick magnet.
983
01:10:07,380 --> 01:10:09,372
Who doesn't have a dog or a chick.
984
01:10:11,342 --> 01:10:14,924
Is that how you see me?
A dogless, chickless guy?
985
01:10:15,013 --> 01:10:18,215
- With a twitch.
- Right.
986
01:10:18,307 --> 01:10:22,351
- When do I get that?
- I forget.
987
01:10:22,436 --> 01:10:24,677
- When do I learn how to drive?
- When you're 16.
988
01:10:24,771 --> 01:10:26,928
- When do I get a car?
- When you're 18.
989
01:10:27,023 --> 01:10:28,814
When do I get a hickey?
990
01:10:29,859 --> 01:10:33,025
- When you're 17.
- When do I find out what a hickey is?
991
01:10:34,571 --> 01:10:36,646
Not tonight.
992
01:10:41,494 --> 01:10:44,067
Russ?
993
01:10:44,163 --> 01:10:47,863
- Yeah, kid.
- I get what you do now.
994
01:10:47,958 --> 01:10:50,413
I mean, I get what I do.
995
01:10:50,502 --> 01:10:52,578
When I grow up, for a living.
996
01:10:52,670 --> 01:10:56,086
- I figured out how to explain.
- Let me hear it.
997
01:10:56,173 --> 01:10:59,174
You help people lie
about who they really are...
998
01:10:59,260 --> 01:11:02,711
so that they can pretend
to be someone else, right?
999
01:11:05,515 --> 01:11:06,925
Yeah.
1000
01:11:07,893 --> 01:11:10,928
See? That's not hard to explain.
1001
01:11:12,271 --> 01:11:13,848
That's pretty good.
1002
01:11:14,982 --> 01:11:18,267
- Good night, buddy.
- Good night, kid.
1003
01:11:26,284 --> 01:11:30,779
This is ABC-7 Los Angeles.
Now. Eyewitness News.
1004
01:11:30,871 --> 01:11:34,121
Good evening. Everyone. And welcome.
I'm Harold Greene.
1005
01:11:34,207 --> 01:11:36,246
Good evening. Y'all.
I'm Deirdre Lafever.
1006
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:41,124
Tonight's top story: Another high-speed
chase on a Los Angeles freeway...
1007
01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:44,664
this time involving a mother of eight
in a stolen minivan.
1008
01:11:44,759 --> 01:11:48,127
The chase started about 8:30
this evening when police first no...
1009
01:11:50,471 --> 01:11:53,175
I know. Thanks, Don.
See you tomorrow.
1010
01:11:54,308 --> 01:11:56,465
I heard the "y'all."
1011
01:11:57,603 --> 01:11:59,097
It works.
1012
01:12:03,191 --> 01:12:04,981
Well, it's Mr Image Consultant.
1013
01:12:06,653 --> 01:12:09,143
So, what do you think?
1014
01:12:09,238 --> 01:12:11,396
Don't tell me.
My hair's still too big.
1015
01:12:11,491 --> 01:12:13,945
No, it looks good.
1016
01:12:14,034 --> 01:12:17,616
Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Comfort of strangers and all that?
1017
01:12:19,706 --> 01:12:22,243
If what you're telling me is true...
1018
01:12:22,333 --> 01:12:25,832
that has got to be
the strangest thing I've ever heard.
1019
01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:27,994
Makes perfect sense to me.
1020
01:12:29,256 --> 01:12:31,711
- It does?
- Why wouldn't your 8-year-old self...
1021
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,459
time travel here
to give you a hand?
1022
01:12:33,552 --> 01:12:37,216
I mean, you're obviously in trouble.
It'd straighten you out.
1023
01:12:37,305 --> 01:12:39,593
You think he's here
to straighten me out?
1024
01:12:39,681 --> 01:12:43,548
Well, of course. You didn't think
it was the other way around, did you?
1025
01:12:47,897 --> 01:12:51,182
Maybe he's here for you
to teach him some things...
1026
01:12:51,275 --> 01:12:55,107
but maybe he's here for you
to remember some things.
1027
01:12:55,195 --> 01:12:57,520
Ever thought about that?
1028
01:13:00,367 --> 01:13:02,359
Not till just now. No.
1029
01:13:03,661 --> 01:13:05,036
Darlin', look.
1030
01:13:07,206 --> 01:13:09,874
You're turnin' 40 tomorrow.
1031
01:13:09,958 --> 01:13:14,784
You haven't acquired a single thing
of real value in your life.
1032
01:13:14,879 --> 01:13:16,871
- And no, no, money doesn't count.
- Hey...
1033
01:13:18,091 --> 01:13:22,004
You're virtually friendless,
you barely talk to your family...
1034
01:13:22,094 --> 01:13:25,593
and you've just lost
the only woman in the world
who's ever meant anything to you.
1035
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:28,764
Who? Amy? Please.
1036
01:13:28,850 --> 01:13:32,716
Look, she's not the only woman
in the world, okay?
1037
01:13:32,811 --> 01:13:34,803
She... She works for me.
1038
01:13:34,897 --> 01:13:37,981
She's neurotic.
She bites her nails.
1039
01:13:38,066 --> 01:13:40,105
Nail.
1040
01:13:42,278 --> 01:13:44,069
This one.
1041
01:13:45,990 --> 01:13:48,065
Oh, my God.
1042
01:13:52,579 --> 01:13:57,323
Excuse me. Um, while he's
gettin' a clue, could I... could I
get a warm-up, please? Thank you.
1043
01:14:00,961 --> 01:14:03,796
Okay. Don't stop. Go on.
1044
01:14:03,880 --> 01:14:07,712
- What's it like?
- He keeps asking about his future...
1045
01:14:07,801 --> 01:14:09,425
my past.
1046
01:14:09,511 --> 01:14:11,917
- Haven't really told him much.
- Good.
1047
01:14:12,013 --> 01:14:14,135
"Good"? You think that's good?
1048
01:14:15,558 --> 01:14:18,095
Why? What would you do?
1049
01:14:18,185 --> 01:14:20,722
Wh... If little Deirdre
was suddenly here...
1050
01:14:20,813 --> 01:14:24,263
burstin' out of her St Mary's uniform,
askin' me what comes next?
1051
01:14:24,357 --> 01:14:26,598
Yeah.
1052
01:14:26,692 --> 01:14:31,436
I'd say, "Baby, don't you
worry about a thing.
1053
01:14:31,530 --> 01:14:34,150
Everything is just gonna be great."
1054
01:14:36,451 --> 01:14:40,531
I-I mean, how many of us
turn out the way we think we will
when we're kids, really?
1055
01:14:43,207 --> 01:14:47,620
I-I mean how many of us
grow up to be astronauts?
1056
01:14:47,711 --> 01:14:50,795
Or prima ballerinas?
1057
01:14:52,715 --> 01:14:55,964
We just all do the best we can.
1058
01:15:05,893 --> 01:15:08,134
Time for me to take big Deirdre home.
1059
01:15:10,481 --> 01:15:12,971
You know, if you wanna learn
about your childhood,
seems like you're online...
1060
01:15:13,067 --> 01:15:15,937
with a pretty good source,
you know what I mean?
1061
01:15:16,027 --> 01:15:20,488
Yes, I am. Deirdre, thanks
for taking the time to help.
1062
01:15:23,326 --> 01:15:25,651
Well, don't ever stop
asking for help, Russ.
1063
01:15:27,663 --> 01:15:29,287
You just might get it.
1064
01:15:31,750 --> 01:15:33,825
- Thanks.
- You take care.
1065
01:15:36,212 --> 01:15:38,916
Bye, y'all.
1066
01:15:39,006 --> 01:15:41,164
Bye.
1067
01:15:53,394 --> 01:15:56,727
Hi, Janet, it's me.
I'm sorry to call so late.
1068
01:15:56,813 --> 01:15:58,936
It's okay. Russ.
I think I'll recover.
1069
01:15:59,024 --> 01:16:02,606
I just want you to cancel
all my appointments tomorrow
and move 'em to Friday.
1070
01:16:02,694 --> 01:16:05,979
-Anything else?
- No, that's it.
1071
01:16:06,072 --> 01:16:08,906
- Okay. You've got it.
- No, wait.
1072
01:16:08,991 --> 01:16:11,066
There is something else.
1073
01:16:12,369 --> 01:16:15,868
I want you to find out why the full moon
looks orange sometimes when it rises.
1074
01:16:17,165 --> 01:16:20,664
- Okay. Sure.
- Thanks, Janet. Good night.
1075
01:16:38,767 --> 01:16:42,218
Hey, kid. Rusty.
1076
01:16:45,022 --> 01:16:48,391
- Hi.
- Hey.
1077
01:16:50,110 --> 01:16:54,854
Wanna help me with something? I think
it might get you back to your time.
1078
01:16:54,948 --> 01:16:57,403
- Sure.
- Good.
1079
01:17:00,244 --> 01:17:02,320
Anything about me?
1080
01:17:03,372 --> 01:17:05,447
Yeah.
Anything that'll take me back.
1081
01:17:08,168 --> 01:17:10,741
You know how I like
to find caterpillars...
1082
01:17:10,837 --> 01:17:12,960
and put 'em in jars
and feed 'em...
1083
01:17:14,215 --> 01:17:16,290
and watch 'em make cocoons?
1084
01:17:21,012 --> 01:17:24,595
- No.
- And then one day...
1085
01:17:24,682 --> 01:17:27,089
they break out,
and it's really cool.
1086
01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:31,844
No. Not a clue.
1087
01:17:31,939 --> 01:17:34,608
But keep goin'.
Tell me some more stuff.
1088
01:17:34,691 --> 01:17:37,228
Remember last summer
at Josie's birthday party...
1089
01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:40,485
when I got Parmesan cheese
stuck up my nose?
1090
01:17:42,531 --> 01:17:46,065
- Got any sixes?
- Nope. Go fish.
1091
01:17:47,786 --> 01:17:50,952
- Got any fours?
- Negative. Go fish.
1092
01:17:54,793 --> 01:17:56,701
Got any sevens?
1093
01:17:59,130 --> 01:18:01,335
Tell me some more
about Dad.
1094
01:18:03,175 --> 01:18:05,167
Sometimes...
1095
01:18:05,260 --> 01:18:07,335
he lets me help him
work on the car.
1096
01:18:07,429 --> 01:18:11,556
But if I do something wrong,
he yells at me.
1097
01:18:13,267 --> 01:18:16,054
Sometimes he buys me
ice cream afterwards.
1098
01:18:16,145 --> 01:18:19,228
But still,
I don't like messing up.
1099
01:18:20,440 --> 01:18:23,109
Like last week,
I lost a screw.
1100
01:18:24,777 --> 01:18:26,650
I was afraid to tell him.
1101
01:18:28,489 --> 01:18:31,193
I found it later on
in my pocket.
1102
01:18:31,282 --> 01:18:33,570
Look, I still have it.
1103
01:18:38,748 --> 01:18:41,499
I'm afraid
to give it back to him.
1104
01:18:43,794 --> 01:18:46,415
Got any nines?
1105
01:18:49,423 --> 01:18:51,546
No.
1106
01:18:51,634 --> 01:18:54,753
My homeroom teacher last year
was fat Mrs Kinkelman.
1107
01:18:54,845 --> 01:18:57,679
She was so much better
than Mr Lupus.
1108
01:18:57,765 --> 01:19:00,136
He had that purple bump
on his face.
1109
01:19:00,225 --> 01:19:02,466
I don't remember the bump guy.
What grade was that?
1110
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:04,967
How come you're asking me
all this stuff?
1111
01:19:05,063 --> 01:19:06,722
'Cause I'm
forgetting something.
1112
01:19:06,815 --> 01:19:09,435
I'm forgetting this one event
that meant something to me...
1113
01:19:09,525 --> 01:19:12,525
and if I can remember that one thing,
maybe I can get you home.
1114
01:19:12,611 --> 01:19:14,982
Are you sure it's not
the purple bump?
1115
01:19:15,072 --> 01:19:17,823
- It's not the bump, kid.
- It was a pretty big bump.
1116
01:19:17,907 --> 01:19:19,946
- Tell me more about second grade.
- Why?
1117
01:19:20,035 --> 01:19:22,110
Nobody had a bump
in second grade.
1118
01:19:24,413 --> 01:19:27,579
My best friend was Tim Wheaton,
until a few months ago.
1119
01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:29,622
Remember him?
1120
01:19:29,709 --> 01:19:33,208
- No, I don't.
- His house smells like fish sticks.
1121
01:19:34,296 --> 01:19:36,288
- No.
- Well, he was my best friend...
1122
01:19:36,382 --> 01:19:38,837
until he started
hanging out with Vince...
1123
01:19:38,925 --> 01:19:41,546
and these other creepy guys.
1124
01:19:41,637 --> 01:19:45,052
He threw a rock at me, and we
haven't been friends since then.
1125
01:19:45,140 --> 01:19:48,472
- He threw a rock at us?
- Oh, yeah.
1126
01:19:48,559 --> 01:19:51,049
- Why? What happened?
- Oh, those guys get together...
1127
01:19:51,145 --> 01:19:53,718
every recess in the corner
of the playground yard...
1128
01:19:53,814 --> 01:19:55,853
where they like
to pick on kids.
1129
01:19:57,400 --> 01:19:59,356
Back behind the kindergarten.
1130
01:20:00,445 --> 01:20:02,900
Yeah. Where the yard monitor
can't see you!
1131
01:20:02,989 --> 01:20:05,479
- Where that big sliding board is?
- Yeah, the really huge one!
1132
01:20:05,574 --> 01:20:07,862
- You remember it!
- Go on. Don't stop.
1133
01:20:07,951 --> 01:20:10,656
There's four of them,
and if they don't like you...
1134
01:20:10,745 --> 01:20:13,200
they make your life a nightmare!
1135
01:20:20,379 --> 01:20:23,878
And the worst thing about them
is they're really mean to animals.
1136
01:20:23,965 --> 01:20:26,171
Especially this one
three-legged dog.
1137
01:20:28,636 --> 01:20:30,379
Tripod!
1138
01:20:30,471 --> 01:20:32,962
Tripod!
The dog's name is Tripod!
1139
01:20:33,057 --> 01:20:36,259
I know the dog's name!
I know everything, kid.
1140
01:20:36,351 --> 01:20:38,343
I know why you're here!
This is the event!
1141
01:20:38,436 --> 01:20:40,594
Vince Kajinski, the fight!
It's the fight!
1142
01:20:40,689 --> 01:20:44,686
It was my eighth birthday.
It was 32 years ago.
1143
01:20:44,776 --> 01:20:47,313
Today!
Ha-ha-ha!
1144
01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:57,034
Holy smokes.
1145
01:20:59,079 --> 01:21:01,320
Look at the car!
1146
01:21:03,042 --> 01:21:05,366
Look at your clothes!
1147
01:21:08,463 --> 01:21:10,454
Holy smokes.
1148
01:21:11,633 --> 01:21:14,170
- Holy smokes!
- Holy smokes!
1149
01:21:14,260 --> 01:21:18,423
- We did it, kid!
- Am I home? Is it really 1968?
1150
01:21:23,393 --> 01:21:25,800
No doubt about it, kid.
What time's recess?
1151
01:21:25,895 --> 01:21:28,811
- 10:30.
- Hang on, kid.
1152
01:21:28,898 --> 01:21:31,768
We've got 15 minutes
to change our life.
1153
01:21:31,858 --> 01:21:33,897
Okay, now listen.
This is gonna happen real fast...
1154
01:21:33,986 --> 01:21:35,859
so you gotta remember
what Kenny told you, all right?
1155
01:21:35,945 --> 01:21:39,859
- One, two, one, two.
- One, two...
- Keep your head down, keep swingin'.
1156
01:21:49,791 --> 01:21:53,705
Look, look, look!
There's the really big slide, remember?
1157
01:21:56,005 --> 01:21:58,958
It used to be a lot bigger.
1158
01:21:59,049 --> 01:22:00,792
Here's what I remember:
1159
01:22:00,885 --> 01:22:04,882
Some really bad guys
tie up that three-legged dog, Tripod.
1160
01:22:04,971 --> 01:22:06,928
When you try to stop 'em,
you get really thrashed.
1161
01:22:07,014 --> 01:22:09,386
Oh, no. Do I save him?
1162
01:22:09,475 --> 01:22:12,262
No. You go down
after only one punch...
1163
01:22:12,353 --> 01:22:14,428
thereby solidifying
your reputation as a loser...
1164
01:22:14,521 --> 01:22:17,093
for the next eight years,
all the way through high school...
1165
01:22:17,190 --> 01:22:19,396
and ruining our life
from that moment on.
1166
01:22:19,483 --> 01:22:21,938
Oh, holy smokes.
1167
01:22:22,028 --> 01:22:25,811
Any second now, Vince Kajinski
and his cohorts are gonna
come around that corner.
1168
01:22:27,032 --> 01:22:29,819
- Look. There they are.
- Hey, boo!
1169
01:22:31,453 --> 01:22:34,157
They're gonna say something to you
to get you to come over there.
1170
01:22:34,247 --> 01:22:37,033
Once you get back there,
they have Tripod tied up.
1171
01:22:38,667 --> 01:22:42,285
- Any questions?
- Yeah. What's a cohort?
1172
01:22:43,547 --> 01:22:45,503
Hey, Rusty,
come over here.
1173
01:22:45,591 --> 01:22:49,041
It's your birthday, right?
We got a present for you.
1174
01:22:49,135 --> 01:22:53,002
Look, kid. You don't have
to do this at all.
1175
01:22:53,097 --> 01:22:56,845
- You don't have to fight today.
- Come on. Hurry up!
1176
01:23:00,353 --> 01:23:03,721
No. If I don't
go against them today...
1177
01:23:03,814 --> 01:23:06,731
I'll have to fight tomorrow
or the next day...
1178
01:23:06,817 --> 01:23:09,390
and today,
you're here with me.
1179
01:23:09,486 --> 01:23:13,068
That's right.
I'm here with you today.
1180
01:23:14,908 --> 01:23:16,946
I can do this.
1181
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:20,733
You can do it.
Don't be afraid.
1182
01:23:20,830 --> 01:23:22,822
Here I come!
1183
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,408
I'll be right here.
1184
01:23:36,134 --> 01:23:37,544
What took you so long?
1185
01:23:37,636 --> 01:23:40,126
- Come on, Rusty.
- I just saw it...
1186
01:23:40,221 --> 01:23:42,676
- Yeah, hurry up.
- A big surprise.
1187
01:23:42,766 --> 01:23:45,256
It's really far out.
1188
01:24:04,284 --> 01:24:06,905
Come on, man. It'll be great.
Why don't you go?
1189
01:24:06,995 --> 01:24:10,529
- Yeah.
- It'll be fun. There's your present.
- Cool, huh?
1190
01:24:13,084 --> 01:24:15,870
- What are you doing?
- This stinkin',
three-legged dog is worthless.
1191
01:24:15,961 --> 01:24:18,961
We'll see him run.
Light the firecrackers.
1192
01:24:19,048 --> 01:24:22,997
Let the dog go.
You guys are dirtbags.
1193
01:24:23,093 --> 01:24:26,592
- What did you call us?
- Dirtbags!
1194
01:24:26,679 --> 01:24:29,348
- Good shot.
- Look at flabby.
- We rule.
1195
01:24:29,431 --> 01:24:32,135
What a dope.
1196
01:24:32,226 --> 01:24:35,310
- That was far out.
- Right on.
- Yeah, right on.
1197
01:24:35,395 --> 01:24:37,186
- We rule.
- Wait, Vince.
1198
01:24:37,272 --> 01:24:39,229
Turn around.
1199
01:24:40,692 --> 01:24:44,274
Oh, that's how it's gonna be.
1200
01:24:44,361 --> 01:24:46,899
- Come on, Vince. Get him!
- Stop it!
1201
01:24:49,032 --> 01:24:50,989
Come on!
1202
01:24:51,075 --> 01:24:54,194
- Get him!
- Come on! Get him!
1203
01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:58,987
- Up against the wall!
- Come on, Vince!
1204
01:24:59,083 --> 01:25:01,573
- Stop!
- Come on, wimp!
1205
01:25:01,668 --> 01:25:04,419
Are you gonna cry?
1206
01:25:04,504 --> 01:25:07,587
- One, two.
- Gonna run to your mom?
- One, two.
1207
01:25:07,674 --> 01:25:09,962
One, two!
1208
01:25:12,011 --> 01:25:14,584
- Say uncle! Say uncle!
- No.
1209
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:16,921
- Apologize!
- No.
1210
01:25:17,015 --> 01:25:19,257
Say uncle!
Apologize!
1211
01:25:19,350 --> 01:25:21,093
Uncle. I'm sorry.
1212
01:25:27,399 --> 01:25:29,391
Yes! You won.
1213
01:25:29,485 --> 01:25:32,983
- Holy smokes! You did it!
- Yabba-dabba-doo!
1214
01:25:33,071 --> 01:25:35,063
Ha-ha!
Yabba-dabba-doo is right.
1215
01:25:35,157 --> 01:25:38,323
- You won the fight. You really did it.
You won the fight.
- I did it. I did it!
1216
01:25:38,409 --> 01:25:40,816
That's all!
I did what I had to do.
1217
01:25:40,911 --> 01:25:42,903
Everything's gonna
be different now.
1218
01:25:44,164 --> 01:25:45,907
Yeah, I guess so.
1219
01:25:45,999 --> 01:25:49,248
Over. That is all. Yes.
1220
01:25:51,295 --> 01:25:53,002
That's all, right?
1221
01:25:56,216 --> 01:25:58,707
- Oh, no.
- What?
1222
01:26:01,012 --> 01:26:02,672
It's not over.
1223
01:26:03,514 --> 01:26:06,431
This gets worse, kid.
Much worse.
1224
01:26:06,517 --> 01:26:08,889
What are you talking about?
I won the fight.
1225
01:26:08,978 --> 01:26:11,598
It wasn't the fight.
That wasn't it.
1226
01:26:16,234 --> 01:26:18,225
It's not over.
1227
01:26:22,740 --> 01:26:24,732
Ice on the eye, son.
1228
01:26:28,495 --> 01:26:31,412
Mr Branch, I put all
the reports on your desk.
1229
01:26:41,173 --> 01:26:43,959
Mom. I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm sorry.
1230
01:26:44,050 --> 01:26:47,833
Oh, it's okay. It's okay.
1231
01:26:47,928 --> 01:26:50,465
I'm sorry you had to come in,
Mrs Duritz.
1232
01:26:50,556 --> 01:26:53,343
We all know
you haven't been well.
1233
01:26:53,433 --> 01:26:58,260
Please, don't punish him,
Mr Branch.
1234
01:26:58,354 --> 01:27:00,346
It's his birthday today.
1235
01:27:08,947 --> 01:27:11,782
- Mom, Daddy's home.
- Daddy?
1236
01:27:11,866 --> 01:27:13,443
Gloria.
1237
01:27:13,535 --> 01:27:16,108
What are you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
1238
01:27:16,203 --> 01:27:17,994
- I'm fine.
- Come on, dear.
- I'm fine.
1239
01:27:18,081 --> 01:27:21,034
Shh, shh, shh.
Get you inside.
1240
01:27:21,125 --> 01:27:23,829
You stay there!
1241
01:27:23,918 --> 01:27:26,788
Please don't scare him.
He's had a hard day.
1242
01:27:26,880 --> 01:27:30,046
Gloria, the doctor said
you weren't to leave the house.
1243
01:27:42,310 --> 01:27:44,800
- What is the matter with you?
- I'm sorry.
1244
01:27:44,896 --> 01:27:48,478
How could you do this
to your mother? What are you
trying to do, kill her faster?
1245
01:27:48,566 --> 01:27:51,352
- What?
- We're gonna lose her.
1246
01:27:51,443 --> 01:27:55,570
God, and you pull some stunt
like you did today. You're killing her!
1247
01:27:55,655 --> 01:27:58,323
I found the screw, Dad.
The screw.
1248
01:27:58,407 --> 01:28:01,407
- Stop cryin'.
- Here's the screw, Dad.
1249
01:28:01,493 --> 01:28:04,198
Look! Here it is.
Here it is. I found it.
1250
01:28:04,287 --> 01:28:07,406
- Just stop cryin'.
- Please, Dad, look at the screw.
1251
01:28:07,498 --> 01:28:10,119
- Here it is.
- Stop crying!
1252
01:28:10,209 --> 01:28:12,450
Stop.
1253
01:28:12,544 --> 01:28:15,498
You gotta grow up, now.
1254
01:28:15,589 --> 01:28:17,581
Do you understand?
1255
01:28:17,674 --> 01:28:20,627
- Yes, sir.
- Grow up. Grow up!
1256
01:28:44,990 --> 01:28:47,563
Mom's dying.
1257
01:28:49,285 --> 01:28:52,451
- I know.
- Soon?
1258
01:28:53,706 --> 01:28:56,374
Yeah.
1259
01:28:56,458 --> 01:28:58,200
Before your next birthday.
1260
01:28:58,293 --> 01:29:00,036
Did I do it?
1261
01:29:03,381 --> 01:29:06,050
No.
1262
01:29:06,133 --> 01:29:08,125
No, you didn't do it.
1263
01:29:10,887 --> 01:29:13,556
It's not your fault.
1264
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:16,475
Dad was just saying those things
because he's scared.
1265
01:29:18,686 --> 01:29:21,769
'Cause he knows that he has to
raise you alone, and he
doesn't know how to do it.
1266
01:29:25,609 --> 01:29:27,897
I thought you never cried.
1267
01:29:31,364 --> 01:29:33,403
Not since my eighth birthday.
1268
01:29:35,076 --> 01:29:37,696
Guess I'm starting up again.
1269
01:29:37,786 --> 01:29:41,404
- How come?
- 'Cause I just figured out
where I got that twitch from.
1270
01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:44,698
Somebody call
the "waaambulance."
1271
01:29:46,043 --> 01:29:49,293
Yeah. Yeah.
1272
01:29:49,380 --> 01:29:51,419
Gonna need 'em now, huh?
1273
01:29:57,095 --> 01:29:59,846
Come on. You wanna
get outta here?
1274
01:30:01,391 --> 01:30:03,429
Let's go.
1275
01:30:07,772 --> 01:30:09,763
Let's go get something to eat.
1276
01:30:09,856 --> 01:30:13,059
Okay. But I'm eating
whatever I want.
1277
01:30:17,821 --> 01:30:20,490
This is disgusting.
Let me have some of yours.
1278
01:30:20,574 --> 01:30:21,854
- Hey!
- Hey!
1279
01:30:23,994 --> 01:30:26,698
- You don't seem all that mad.
- About what?
1280
01:30:27,914 --> 01:30:29,989
That we didn't
change anything.
1281
01:30:30,083 --> 01:30:32,656
Like the fact that we're still gonna
have to fight Vince Kajinski...
1282
01:30:32,752 --> 01:30:34,624
every week
all through grade school?
1283
01:30:35,754 --> 01:30:38,078
- Yeah.
- And we'll still be ugly
through high school?
1284
01:30:38,173 --> 01:30:40,498
- But not stupid.
- Not stupid.
1285
01:30:41,885 --> 01:30:44,042
And that we spend
our college years...
1286
01:30:44,136 --> 01:30:47,421
as a chickless, dogless jerk
with a twitch?
1287
01:30:47,515 --> 01:30:50,135
And still not have
a family when we're 40?
1288
01:30:53,144 --> 01:30:54,602
Yeah.
1289
01:30:55,855 --> 01:30:57,978
What's done is done.
1290
01:30:59,108 --> 01:31:01,016
Yeah.
1291
01:31:02,819 --> 01:31:07,646
But, hey, this is our birthday.
Okay?
1292
01:31:08,575 --> 01:31:11,243
Happy birthday, kid.
Cheers, kid.
1293
01:31:19,126 --> 01:31:21,367
Hello, boy.
How are you doin'?
1294
01:31:21,461 --> 01:31:23,749
- Who are you?
- Chester, come on, boy.
1295
01:31:33,138 --> 01:31:37,632
Did you hear
what he just called his dog?
1296
01:31:37,725 --> 01:31:39,349
Chester.
1297
01:31:52,697 --> 01:31:54,523
Can that...
1298
01:31:55,657 --> 01:31:58,029
be that?
1299
01:31:58,118 --> 01:32:01,985
- No way.
- Can't be.
1300
01:32:06,626 --> 01:32:09,116
Here you go.
1301
01:32:31,481 --> 01:32:34,397
You like the old plane?
1302
01:32:37,069 --> 01:32:39,394
Uh-huh.
1303
01:32:40,739 --> 01:32:42,529
Yeah.
1304
01:32:43,659 --> 01:32:45,651
You did all this.
1305
01:32:47,662 --> 01:32:49,654
You put that plane
on my doorstep.
1306
01:32:49,747 --> 01:32:54,159
Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was
a particularly nice touch.
1307
01:32:55,752 --> 01:32:58,207
Yeah. It was.
1308
01:32:58,296 --> 01:33:01,082
I bet you got a lot of questions.
1309
01:33:02,883 --> 01:33:05,718
- Yeah.
- Well, I wouldn't worry about it.
1310
01:33:05,803 --> 01:33:09,136
You got 30 years
to figure 'em out.
1311
01:33:09,223 --> 01:33:12,342
Right now I gotta go.
Family's waitin'.
1312
01:33:36,288 --> 01:33:38,660
It was especially nice
seeing you again.
1313
01:33:41,293 --> 01:33:44,827
- I'll see you.
- See ya.
1314
01:33:47,548 --> 01:33:49,540
Bye.
1315
01:33:54,221 --> 01:33:56,711
Holy smokes.
1316
01:34:12,111 --> 01:34:14,483
We did it.
1317
01:34:21,245 --> 01:34:23,913
- Holy smokes!
- Holy smokes!
1318
01:34:23,997 --> 01:34:26,119
- We did it!
- We did it!
1319
01:34:26,207 --> 01:34:28,365
Yeah-ho-ho!
1320
01:34:28,459 --> 01:34:31,495
- I'm okay! We're okay!
- We're okay!
1321
01:34:31,586 --> 01:34:33,993
We're okay!
1322
01:34:34,089 --> 01:34:36,211
- You're a pilot.
- You're a pilot.
- You're a pilot.
1323
01:34:36,299 --> 01:34:39,216
- No, you're a pilot.
- I'm a pilot.
- We grow up to be pilots!
1324
01:34:39,302 --> 01:34:42,256
We grow up to be pilots!
Hey!
1325
01:34:42,346 --> 01:34:44,753
- Did you see our dog?
- What's his name?
- Chester.
1326
01:34:44,848 --> 01:34:48,430
- Chester, the world's
greatest dog!
- The world's greatest dog!
1327
01:34:48,519 --> 01:34:51,969
Yes! Hoo-Ha, Hoo-Ha...
One, right, left, left...
1328
01:34:52,063 --> 01:34:54,388
- Did you see our family?
- Yeah.
1329
01:34:55,524 --> 01:34:57,516
Wild.
1330
01:34:58,902 --> 01:35:01,108
That old lady
looked familiar.
1331
01:35:02,239 --> 01:35:05,193
Yeah.
I thought so too.
1332
01:35:17,961 --> 01:35:21,210
- Look at us go.
- Yeah.
1333
01:35:21,297 --> 01:35:23,123
Look at us go.
1334
01:35:28,471 --> 01:35:32,965
I am not a loser!
1335
01:35:47,153 --> 01:35:49,145
Look at us go.
1336
01:35:53,784 --> 01:35:55,776
Kid?
1337
01:36:08,089 --> 01:36:10,080
Bye, kid.
1338
01:36:16,930 --> 01:36:18,922
Thanks.
1339
01:36:39,116 --> 01:36:41,784
Hello?
1340
01:36:41,868 --> 01:36:43,575
I'm here.
1341
01:36:45,579 --> 01:36:48,152
Russ?
1342
01:36:48,249 --> 01:36:51,831
- Russ?
- Hi, Janet. I'm back here.
I'll be out in a second.
1343
01:36:51,919 --> 01:36:55,168
Hey, a couple of questions.
Why am I not at the office?
1344
01:36:55,255 --> 01:36:57,247
Why are you not at the office?
1345
01:36:57,340 --> 01:36:59,747
- And where have you been?
- Did you call my dad?
1346
01:36:59,842 --> 01:37:02,511
Yes, I told him you'd be there Sunday
to help him move.
1347
01:37:02,595 --> 01:37:05,845
He almost had a heart attack,
if that was your intention.
1348
01:37:05,931 --> 01:37:07,888
What about the plane tickets
to Hawaii?
1349
01:37:07,974 --> 01:37:11,259
I booked 'em. Two first-class seats.
You leave at 2:00.
1350
01:37:14,355 --> 01:37:17,059
Thank you. Got a pen?
1351
01:37:17,149 --> 01:37:21,193
Change these names on here.
Use my credit card.
1352
01:37:27,408 --> 01:37:30,325
Russ! Ha-ha-ha!
1353
01:37:30,411 --> 01:37:33,327
- I love it, I love it,
I love it, I love it.
- Aloha, Janet.
1354
01:37:33,414 --> 01:37:37,707
I love Hawaii.
I love Hawaii!
1355
01:38:42,766 --> 01:38:45,601
Do you want to come in?
1356
01:38:45,685 --> 01:38:47,677
Yes.
106896
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