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1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,971
[ Woman On TV] We're looking at one
of the most powerful storm systems...
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,361
ever to hit the Philadelphia area, folks.
3
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,761
As the hurricane moves
up the East Coast,
4
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,684
we're already starting to feel
its impact with heavy winds,
5
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:18,209
and everyone is bracing themselves
for torrential rainfall.
6
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,243
Oh, my God. [ Woman
Continues, indistinct]
7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,845
I've never seen anything
of this magnitude.
8
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,888
I can't believe
how severe this is.
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,002
They get bigger
and bigger every year.
10
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,923
We're expecting
20 to 30 inches.
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,889
Philadelphia,
this is dangerous.
12
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,201
Stay indoors and be safe.
13
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,521
Well, I, for one, would like
to meet this Jackie Denardo...
14
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,809
and see if her breasts
are as staggering in person.
15
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,928
Guys, maybe we should
get a 3-D TV.
16
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,082
[ Mac ] The breasts are only
going to keep getting bigger,
17
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:43,730
and we need the latest
technology to keep up.
18
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,201
Are you guys kidding me?
You're focused on boobies...
19
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,250
at a time when a massive storm
is about to hit Philadelphia?
20
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,600
It's a hurricane
we're talking about.
21
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,205
She's talking about it,
and, you know,
22
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,004
we're sort of listening
and we're enjoying her breasts.
23
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:55,605
Just let us have this.
Yeah.
24
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,923
The breasts make you care about the
weather in a really good way, not-
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,490
Guys, maybe she's right.
26
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,847
Maybe we are too focused
on this woman's breasts.
27
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,321
Switch it to the other news channel.
[Denardo] ...Channel 5 News.
28
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,606
Amigos, tenemos-
29
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,291
[ Guys Whooping ] Cha-cha-cha!
[Rica]
30
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,569
Oh, man! It' s in ternac/'onafi/
it's on every channel.
31
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,610
- These are the breasts we should focus on.
- Hey-ho! What's up'?
32
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,167
[Guys Grunting, Muttering
] What are you wearing?
33
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,369
I got all riled up by the weather report.
Ain't a drop of rain out there.
34
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,604
- So I put this old trash bag on to keep myself
protected. - You did it for nothing, huh'?
35
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,651
Yeah. it's media hype hyping up the storm,
making people all nervous about it.
36
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,165
I don't know, Frank.
I don't think this is hype,
37
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,282
'cause they're calling it
the storm of the century.
38
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,250
I'll tell you what, Dee, um,
because you m/jghz' be right,
39
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,890
I think it's worth switching
over to the other channel.
40
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:44,090
Because I feel like the coverage was
a little bit more... extensive.
41
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,242
- As you can see behind me-
- [ Dennis] Ho! Look at that!
42
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,010
Oh, come on! Ooh! Yeah!
43
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,329
♪♪ [ TV: News Theme] I'm
broadcasting to you live...
44
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,050
from the All American
Home Center...
45
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,728
wh ere shoppers are facing long lines i0
buy supplies for the hurricane expected-
46
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,165
They're talking about evacuating
the city.
47
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,890
Guys, maybe this is more serious
than we thought.
48
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,088
Yeah, it's serious.
It's a Category 5 storm.
49
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,400
We've got to get ready.
50
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,130
Oh, shit.
51
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,770
Dude, maybe the Mexicans
were right.
52
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,365
What are you talking about?
53
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,728
The Mexicans predicted that the
world was gonna end in 2012.
54
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,285
That was the Mayans, dude.
55
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,203
Mayans, Mexicans-
what's the difference?
56
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,009
One difference is that
the Mayans are extinct.
57
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,128
Yeah. The Mexicans
killed the Mayans.
58
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,841
No, the Spaniards banged the
Mayans, turned 'em into Mexicans.
59
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:47,843
Oh, guys, this
doesn't look good.
60
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,922
Okay, we're now getting
unconfirmed reports...
61
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,925
of sporadic looting in cities
along the East Coast.
62
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,525
People are looting now?
Come on.
63
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,241
Ah, it's the media. They hype the storm.
They hype the looting.
64
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,970
- It's all for ratings.
- Whatever.
65
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,849
Either way, I think we should
head up to higher ground,
66
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,365
you know,
get to the Poconos.
67
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,408
Nah, you don't want to go up in
the mountains. Are you crazy?
68
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,891
That's just putting you
closer to the storm.
69
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,321
You want to go low,
low as can be.
70
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,801
All right, you know what? We gotta
stop pussy-dicking around here, okay?
71
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:16,129
- It's time to get in the bunker.
- Bunker? What bunker?
72
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,051
Yeah, we, uh- We converted
this old storage closet...
73
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,566
into a place where
we could ride out Y2K.
74
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,364
[Scoffing ]
Ha! Y2K-
75
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:30,611
perfect example of how the press hypes
everything to no end and nothing happens.
76
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,887
We know that now, Frank, but,
back then, we were pretty scared.
77
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,724
Yeah, but why
were we so scared?
78
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,849
Dee got us all worked up about the
computers taking over mankind,
79
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,888
and then she had us
build this bunker.
80
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,247
Yeah, rcbcpocalypse- machines
communicating with each other...
81
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,322
and conspiring
to destroy the human race.
82
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,880
That is complete nonsense, Deandra.
lsitnonsense?
83
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,885
Is it nonsense? Or is it nonsense
that we rely solely on computers...
84
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,048
to run every aspect
ofourHves,huh?
85
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,401
Hysterical. She's hysterical.
Calm down, Dee.
86
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,848
Here, come check out the bunker.
it's pretty cool.
87
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,448
What the hell? What the hell
happened to the bunker?
88
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,490
We, uh- We raided the bunker
directly after Y2K.
89
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,840
Well, now it's empty.
90
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,251
Now there's nothing
in here for us to use.
91
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,290
And why is there a condom
wrapper on the floor?
92
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,006
You've probably been banging in
the bunker, right? [Chuckling ]
93
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,600
Guilty. I've been watching
him bang in here.
94
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,489
Have you?
Weird. Weird.
95
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,449
The bunker's for emergencies.
This is not a joke.
96
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,608
Yeah, well, whatever, you know.
That's an emergency, I guess.
97
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,250
I see that somebody's
also been eating...
98
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,322
alotofyour weird canned foods
and sardines, Charlie.
99
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,641
- Yeah, where's all my- - Yeah, he
was probably down here with Mac...
100
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,405
watching you rape girls
and eating pickled eggs.
101
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:33,766
I don't rape girls.
Come on.
102
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,683
Yeah, and I don't eat
that many pickled eggs.
103
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,125
But, well, you know what?
104
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,726
Let's stock up on some more
pickled eggs down here though.
105
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,604
That's a good idea. Let's go
to the All American Home store.
106
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,569
We can get all
of our supplies there.
107
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,051
The All American?
Yeah.
108
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,482
That's the place with
the weather- Yeah!
109
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,642
Let's go there. Let's go there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
110
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,724
Wait. You're gonna actually go...
111
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,167
where the media is advertising?
112
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,402
Come on, Frank, it's not
like we've never been...
113
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,323
to the All American
Home Center before.
114
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,607
It's in our minds, you know.
And she's in my mind.
115
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,330
Let's go there. it's settled.
[ Dee] Right, I know.
116
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,210
But first, we need to board up windows.
Frank, you help me with this plywood.
117
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,329
And you guys can each grab a box
over there, and then we'll-
118
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,243
And they've left.
They've left now.
119
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,721
I'm only still here 'cause
I'm not as quick as them.
120
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,890
Is that a pickled egg?
121
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,769
No. it's an egg
I brought from home.
122
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,251
[ Man On P. A - ] A lien Zion, all A
ll A mar/can Home Center shoppers-
123
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,890
People seem pretty amped up.
124
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,644
We should get our supplies
before they sell out.
125
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:34,406
Yeah, for sure. We should come up
with a plan, and we should divide up.
126
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,289
Oh, my God.
Ooh-hoo-hoo.
127
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,410
Aw! They're spectacular. Wow!
128
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,845
[Mac] Imagine
that image in 3-D.
129
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,082
- [Dennis] Oh, baby.
- [Charlie] Yeah. Oh, my God.
130
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,242
Guys, I'm telling you, we should
get one of these 3-D TVs.
131
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,651
Yeah, totally,
but not now, okay?
132
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,768
We can't spend our money
on a 3-D TV.
133
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:52,606
Right, right. All right, we gotta get the
supplies, head up to the Poconos ASAP.
134
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,848
Come on. I don't know.
Let's think about this.
135
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,729
For all we know, it could
be the end of days.
136
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,365
No, it's not the end of days.
I don't wanna go uphill.
137
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,204
Guys, it's not the end of days.
Calm down.
138
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,770
It's just a storm, okay?
139
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,848
We'll get some batteries.
We'll get some supplies.
140
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,241
Food. We'll get food.
141
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,890
Yeah, we'll get food.
142
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,724
But I feel like you didn't-
You didn't say food.
143
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,241
Yeah, we'll get food, okay?
Jesus Christ. Relax!
144
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,845
Okay, yeah, I'm-
I'm getting crazy.
145
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,122
All right, I'll get the food.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
146
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,685
You guys get the supplies.
Okay, we'll get the supplies.
147
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,370
Okay. Okay. Give us
the cash because-
148
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,721
No, no, it's okay. I have Frank's
credit card. You take the cash.
149
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,246
You got the cash. We got
the credit card. Let's go.
150
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,647
Hey, you know what I was thinking?
In addition to supplies,
151
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,042
it might be nice to grab some girls,
you know, get them back to the bar.
152
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,003
This Jackie Denardo chick-
she's, uh,
153
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,970
sparked another storm inside me, if you
know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
154
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,249
Might be nice to ride the storm
out with some chicks. Yeah, yeah.
155
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,403
We could use 'em to repopulate the planet or
something. That'll be great to have them.
156
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,847
I'm not going to entertain this notion
anymore. I don't want to hear it.
157
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,402
I'd at least like to find one, like, Mexican
or Mayan or something for predictions.
158
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,084
No, but get
some batteries though.
159
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,050
You be the battery guy, andl1lbethe-
the “chicks and tits” guy.
160
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,121
All right.
161
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,811
Frank! Frank, you want to
come help me do this or what?
162
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,564
No. Come over here.
I want you to see this.
163
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,170
Frank-
Come on, check this out.
164
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,720
At any moment, hoards of maniacs could
come pouring through the windows.
165
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,649
This doesn't concern you?
Come on, Deandra.
166
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,484
Please come over here and
sit down, look at this.
167
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,891
[Sighs]
What?
168
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,328
You remember years ago there
was a storm in New Orleans?
169
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,885
Hurricane Katrina?
Yes.
170
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,287
Yeah, I remember it. Mm-hmm.
Okay, check this out.
171
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,362
What do you think those people
are doing- surviving or looting?
172
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,125
[ People Shouting,
Clamoring ]
173
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,163
They're surviving.
Ah. Okay.
174
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,090
Do you remember a man named Rodney King?
Yes, of course I do.
175
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,322
Okay, the L.A.P.D.
worked him over really good.
176
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,161
Yes. Okay. This was taken
during the Rodney King riots.
177
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,891
What do you think these people
are doing- looting or surviving?
178
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,849
[ People Shouting,
Clamoring ]
179
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,122
Well, they're looting.
Ah, of course.
180
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,170
It's the media, see? When it's
white people, it's survival.
181
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,810
And when it's black people,
ifsloofing.
182
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,360
No, Frank. it's because the white
people are stealing bread...
183
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,283
and the black people
are stealing speakers.
184
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,449
If the white people were stealing stereo
equipment, I would say they were looting too.
185
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,603
How do you know the blacks don't
have bread in those speakers?
186
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,529
What are you talking about? What are
we talking about right now? Listen!
187
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,722
There are big things to do. Calm down.
This is the best part.
188
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,161
More?
Yeah. Just check this out.
189
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,289
This was taken
during the riots.
190
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,169
Do you recognize
anybody in there?
191
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,844
What are you doing
in the video?
192
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,922
Ihappened to be out in L.A.
during the riots.
193
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,964
I was on business. And to
steal ski equipment, lguess.
194
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,805
Yeah, well, I went in for a loaf of bread.
I took some skis.
195
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,684
Everybody's happy. Not the
people who own the skis.
196
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,609
[ Gasps ] Oh, shit!
All right, calm-
197
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,051
Oh, my God! The power went out!
Calm down.
198
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,521
This is terrible!
We gotta get- Jesus!
199
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,847
That's why I like to have this
little baby with me. Goddamn it!
200
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,246
Come on.
Let's go! To bunker!
201
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,050
You come with me. Yeah, go first.
Don't-
202
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,485
Just be careful with that.
203
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,085
[ Dennis ] We're gonna
call it a hurricane party.
204
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,009
It's gonna be cool.
it's gonna be awesome.
205
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,686
What's a hurricane party? A hurricane
party's exactly what it sounds like.
206
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,127
It's a party during a hurricane
at our bar- Paddy's Pub.
207
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,765
I've heard of that bar. Yeah?
208
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,561
Hey! Hello!
[ Laughing ]
209
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,244
All right! All right! Hi.
210
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,328
Crazy, crazy weather coming our way.
Yeah.
211
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,323
You trying to get these girls
down to the bunker, or-
212
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,324
Oh, no, I'm-I'm inviting them back
to our very cool bar that we own.
213
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,085
Oh! Cool, cool. Yeah, we
got a sweet bunker too.
214
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,846
It's, like, so secure, people can't get
in or out if we don't want 'em to.
215
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,008
We'll be, like, totally
safe down there. Yeah.
216
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,128
I got a bunch of supplies.
You guys like pickled eggs?
217
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,730
[ Laughing ]
We got sardines too.
218
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,007
Yeah, we got a bunch of other,
you know, normal food...
219
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,565
and normal stuff there too.
Yeah.
220
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,483
Yeah, it's a great bar. Gonna
be free drinks for everybody.
221
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,403
So you'll come.
You'll party with us.
222
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,323
And you- Bring your
girlfriends, too, you know?
223
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,522
Sure. We don't want
just the two of you.
224
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,080
You got to bring your girlfriends.
That's a requirement.
225
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,208
[ Uneasily]
Sounds like fun.
226
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,009
Can our boyfriends
come too?
227
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,411
Oh.
228
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,123
Your boyfriends?
229
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,964
Yeah, our boyfriends.
230
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,724
You two have boyfriends?
231
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,963
How did you not know...
232
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,884
that the reason I invited
you back to my bar...
233
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,891
was to bang you?
234
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,803
Get outta here.
235
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,962
Get the hell outta here!
Get- Get outta here!
236
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,769
- Shoo away from me!
- You're a dick.
237
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,047
You're a dick. She's
a- I'm not a dick.
238
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,326
[ Mutters, Huffs]
239
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,890
It's okay.
Take it easy, all right?
240
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,367
Wh-Wh-What was that? That was too dark.
They lied to me.
241
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,011
Oh, okay. Well, just
let it go, all right?
242
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,082
If you want to entice these ladies,
you gotta talk about the bunker.
243
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,964
You got to lead with the bunker.
No.
244
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,042
You end with the bunker. Or you
don't talk about the bunker at all.
245
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,485
Are you kidding me?
What are you wearing?
246
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,801
Dude, they have amazing stuff here.
I'm totally prepared.
247
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,041
Check this out.
248
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,128
How sweet is that? Dude,
what are you- Drop that.
249
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,965
Are you kidding me? You think girls are
gonna want to come back to a bar...
250
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,566
with a man dressed the way you're
dressed and carrying a hatchet?
251
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,449
Yeah. They're gonna be like,
“Look at this sweet dude-
252
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,244
his awesome gear
and his awesome hatchet.
253
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,890
He's prepared.
He's ready for anything.
254
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,450
Storm coming?
Hatchet coming.”
255
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,922
Dude, I have an idea. I'm gonna
go to the Office section.
256
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,008
Meet me in the Office section.
Okay. All right, good.
257
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,646
I'll find Mac, 'cause we gotta get out
of here, man. Okay, yeah. No, um-
258
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,007
- Let's- Lose the hatchet.
- Come on, man. The-
259
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,768
I got another hatchet.
Don't you worry about that.
260
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,205
[ Chuckling ]
261
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,203
[ Frank]
Dark as shit in here.
262
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,601
It's very creepy. Let's
just get to the bunker.
263
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,201
- [ Scuttling ] - What was that?
Was that a rat?
264
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,971
It was a looter. What- [ Gasps ]
265
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,765
Behind us.
[ Scurrying ]
266
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,241
- Oh, a looter! Shoot him!
- [ Hammer Cocks]
267
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,322
- No, don't shoot! it's Cricket!
- [ Gunshot ]
268
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,204
[ Cricket Groaning ]
Ooh! No!
269
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:11,001
- [ Frank] Cricket! - Oh, what are
you doing down here, Cricket?
270
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,209
Aah! I come down to the bunker
sometimes when it rains.
271
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,362
Oh, we got to get him
to the hospital!
272
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,204
No, I ain't goin'
to no hospital.
273
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,130
They euthanize the homeless.
They're goddamned death camps!
274
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:23,607
- You got no hand, Cricket!
- I have a hand, Frank.
275
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,887
It's-it's a little- I have a hole in it.
Big deal.
276
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,485
Frank, I'm gonna be
honest with you.
277
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,449
I don't really wanna go to
the hospital either because-
278
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,045
We're gonna be there
when the hurricane hits,
279
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,724
and it's gonna be packed
to the gills with vagrants.
280
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,644
Are you out of your mind? This
man is bleeding to death here!
281
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,530
You know what we could do? We could
dress him up and take him upstairs.
282
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,409
Then the looters would think
he's the owner of the bar,
283
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,289
and they'd have their way
with him, and, if he died,
284
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,964
you know, it's on them
and-and not on us.
285
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,849
That-That's good.
Let's just do that.
286
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,490
Don't listen to him!
He's delirious!
287
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,809
- You're bleeding out, Cricket!
- it's nothing. Frank, this is nothing.
288
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,611
Goddamn it! All right, Cricket. All right,
fine. We'll go. We'll go to the hospital.
289
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,047
Frank, we are coming right back
here after we drop him off...
290
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,009
to be where we are safe in
the bunker, where we belong.
291
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,048
- Okay, let's go! - [
Frank ] Okay, get out.
292
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,804
You're marching me
to the ovens!
293
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,924
Dennis!
294
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,367
There you are, dude. Dude, things are
getting kind of bad in here, man.
295
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,885
Like, people are
all worked up, right?
296
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,526
I've been trying to find Mac. He's
not answering my phone calls.
297
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,570
I went out to the parking lot to see if he was
out there hiding out in the car or something.
298
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,608
He took off!
Car's gone!
299
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,489
Mmm, well, clearly, he's
evacuated to the Poconos.
300
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,968
Do you really think he'd do that to us?
Absolutely do that to us.
301
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,246
I don't know.
This is bad, dude.
302
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,765
What you got here?
What you working on?
303
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,207
Oh, this is great. This is
an agreement for the women.
304
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,681
Yeah, it guarantees that whoever
comes back to the bar with us...
305
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,001
agrees to follow all the rules
that we set forth.
306
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,844
That's smart. Walk me through the details.
What you got, Dennis?
307
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,809
It's all very simple, Charlie.
Very simple stuff.
308
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,127
Um, “I- state your name”-
Charlie Kelly.
309
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,850
Hmm? Well, not your name.
310
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,922
Oh.
Their name.
311
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,809
[ Scoffs ] “Being of
sound mind and body,
312
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,201
do solemnly pledge that I
do not have a boyfriend,
313
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,931
nor am I currently engaged
in a sexual relationship...
314
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,560
with another individual,
females excluded.” Right.
315
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,210
“L hereby agree
to be easygoing,
316
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,123
to engage in playful
conversation,
317
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,204
to always act as though I desire
your penis even when I don't.”
318
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,322
Yeah. It sort of goes on and
on like that for a while.
319
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:07,082
I love it. Where do I sign? Again,
um, you don't sign anywhere.
320
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,208
If we're doing a contract,
I want to sign it, so-
321
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,685
This isn't a contract for you, Charlie.
Uh, it's not?
322
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,485
This is a contract-
[ Bell 7'0//s ]
323
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:19,920
♪♪ [ Rock Anthem ] ♪ Till now,
I always got by on my own ♪
324
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,688
♪ I never really cared
until I met you ♪
325
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,488
♪ And now it chills me
to the bone ♪
326
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:34,691
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪♪
327
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,451
[ Exhales]
Oh, my God.
328
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,250
Charlie, I might be
in love with this woman.
329
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,601
Not for the right reasons, rnkuiyou.
lgotanidea.
330
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,001
Yeah. Let's get her back
to the bunker, right?
331
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,368
She's the perfect kind of woman
to start over the new world with.
332
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,603
We would create a race of super
giant-breasted women, you know?
333
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,001
I'd start sleeping with your daughters.
You'd sleep with my daughters.
334
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,764
I'd sleep with your daughters'
daughters.
335
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,330
You'd sleep with my daughters'
daughters.
336
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,965
We die, our sons would sleep with our
daughters' daughters' daughters.
337
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,769
It's like a perfect society.
338
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,968
I see where y0u're going with that, but it
sounds like it could get a little messy.
339
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,327
It could get a little stick- Let's
work out a new agreement, you know.
340
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,920
All right, we'll come up with a separate
agreement. Who sleeps with whose daughter?
341
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,685
Okay, that sounds good. All right,
I'm gonna go talk to this woman.
342
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,529
All right, okay. Okay.
All right, okay.
343
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,965
Um-
Um-
344
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,731
I gotta say, man, this woman's
really throwing me off, dude.
345
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,928
I feel very, very nervous.
I don't usually get nervous.
346
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,008
You want me to help you out?
Yeah. No.
347
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,610
If Igyaoverflmwe with you.
No,no,n0.
348
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,364
I want you to stay as far
away from me as possible.
349
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,169
You're standing too close
to me as it is actually.
350
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,850
Have you gotten into the cheese?
There's a whole cheese section.
351
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,246
I bet there is.
I went nuts.
352
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,761
All right, well, you stink. Mm-hmm.
All right, you know what?
353
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,360
I'll find Frank. He'll pick us up.
Okay, yeah, go call Frank.
354
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,886
I'm gonna go talk
to the, uh-
355
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,088
I don't think I can do it dressed
like this though. I look ridiculous.
356
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,882
[ Dee Hyperventilating ]
357
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,442
You guys, I don't mean to be a bother,
but are we almost at the hospital?
358
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,249
Shut the hell up,
Cricket! Okay?
359
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,766
I'm driving as fast as I can!
Do you not see that?
360
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,320
Move!
[ Gasping ]
361
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,561
What are you doing,
Frank?
362
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,284
What are you doing, Frank?
I'm getting air.
363
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,449
You're sucking it all up with your
panicking. it's freezing outside.
364
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,091
You're gonna catch cold, and then
everyone's gonna get sick in the bunker.
365
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,606
What are you talking about?
Freezing? it's sunny as shit.
366
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,643
[ Wheezing ] Will you calm
down, for crying out loud?
367
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,205
You're gonna give me
a heart attack!
368
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:10,765
[ Exhales]
[Cell Phone Rings]
369
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,644
Oh, all right.
Let's go.
370
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,688
It's Charlie. Yo!
371
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,244
You're shittin' me!
Huh?
372
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,651
God!
373
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,290
Mac went to the Poconos,
374
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,847
left them stranded by the All
American with the supplies!
375
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,809
With the supplies?
No! No, no, no, no!
376
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,087
I'm not getting stranded in
the bunker with no supplies!
377
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,561
[Tires Squealing ]
378
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,324
You guys, what about me?
Fn1H1paHmlWnin- Shut up!
379
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,164
Goddamn you, Cricket! Goddamn you!
it's not about you!
380
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,163
I'm gonna pick up the guys. I'm
gonna drop you off at the hospital.
381
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,605
It's gonna take
two seconds, okay?
382
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,002
Is that okay, Cricket,
with you? Huh?
383
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,525
Go!
[ Horn Honking ]
384
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,329
Come on, come on!
Get outta the way!
385
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,805
[Sighs]
I don't wanna die.
386
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,121
Don't make me do it, Cricket.
I will slice you in half!
387
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,361
[Whimpers]
388
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,010
As you can see
behind me, Larry,
389
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,243
the storm is really taking
its toll on weary shoppers.
390
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,927
The lines are still long as frustrated
customers wait anxiously...
391
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,480
to return home with some
emergency supplies...
392
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,131
before the worst
of the storm hits.
393
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,249
Jackie Denardo,
Channel 5 News.
394
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,890
We out? Good.
395
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,849
[ Stammering ]
Hi. Hi.
396
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,285
L't'S- Hi.
397
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,362
[Murmuring]
398
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,805
I'm Dennis- Reynolds.
399
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,201
Hi. Hi... Dennis.
400
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,487
I have a bar. I own a bar.
It's my bar.
401
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,769
And I wanted to invite you
to it- [ Exhales ] for-
402
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,162
Uh, we have food and supplies,
and it would be a good place-
403
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,050
This storm is gonna
be bad, as you know.
404
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,125
So why not be at the bar
with me, urn,
405
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,680
and, you know,
for the good of the race?
406
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,410
So come to the bar and, uh-
407
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,488
Oh, and I have a contra- an agreement.
[ Cell Phone Vibrating ]
408
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,090
Uh, excuse me, sir.
And I need you to sign-
409
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,009
Yes'? [ Man ] Yeah,
it's about the storm.
410
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,770
Storm is no! gonna hi!
Philly. Okay?
411
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:53,966
It's just gonna drizzle.
412
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,485
Ream'?
Yeah.
413
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,409
How am I supposed to turn that into news?
I don 7 know.
414
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,845
Find some other we y I0
make these people g0 nuts.
415
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,689
We need a story.
Okay, thanks.
416
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,761
[Beeps]
417
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,650
Hey, Todd. Storm's
just been downgraded.
418
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,484
Apparently we're just gonna
get a light drizzle.
419
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,648
Goddamn it!
I have a bunker.
420
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,210
Maybe we can turn this
into global warming.
421
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,805
That always gets people
whipped up, huh?
422
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,723
Get-Get-Get- if you get
in the bunker with me,
423
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,201
then you'll be totally safe.
424
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,123
For the good of the race,
we can create an entire-
425
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,441
Oh, my God!
Get lost, creep!
426
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,528
[ Dog Barking 1
427
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,449
[ Barking ]
428
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,606
You're gonna treat me like a dog, huh?
[ Barking Continues ]
429
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,921
You're gonna
treat Cricket like a dog?
430
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,565
Hospital.
431
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,689
[Gasping ]
Hospital.
432
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,843
Come on. Come on. [
Cash Register Beeping ]
433
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,604
Hurry it up.
Move it along.
434
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,808
He's taking forever.
We're gonna die in-
435
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,207
Hey, you look kind of Mayan. You wouldn't
happen to be a Mayan, would you?
436
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,645
Charlie!
Charlie, there you are.
437
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,205
I think I found a Mayan. We've
been looking all over for you.
438
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,845
Crickefs out in the car
bleeding like a pig. Seriously?
439
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,167
We gotta get the supplies right away.
I got great supplies.
440
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,242
I've been getting all sorts of stuff.
Things that would-
441
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,402
Hey! Hey, hey!
That's my cart.
442
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,323
Hey, folks!
Folks, listen up!
443
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,129
I'm sorry, but
our credit card machines...
444
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,771
just went down
due to a system overload.
445
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,569
We can only accept cash
at this time.
446
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,766
What?
Shit!
447
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,922
- Okay, well, you got cash?
- I only have cards.
448
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,490
Charlie, where's the cash
I gave you?
449
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,164
Mao took off with all our cash!
He just took off!
450
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,611
What?
We're gonna die.
451
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,170
I told you! I told you!
452
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,685
I told you we're
dependent on machines.
453
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,604
You guys, once the machines go
down, then society collapses!
454
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,045
We're going to hell
in a handcart.
455
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,202
I got a plan, okay? Let's
just start looting shit.
456
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,926
Yes! Let's just grab shit. Let's
just grab whatever we can.
457
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,163
No, you can't loot until the
crowd whips up into a frenzy.
458
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,368
The crowd is whipped up into a frenzy.
They just stole my cart!
459
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,249
L-I think the time
will be evident.
460
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,885
Well, what are we waiting for?
I d0n't know.
461
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,927
[Crowd Gasping ]
462
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,367
$53.? 1
463
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,000
Loot! Loot! Time to loot!
Loot! Loot! Loot!
464
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,765
[ Frank ] Take everything-
and anything!
465
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,640
Kill the machines!
466
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,563
It's their fault!
467
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,483
Kill the machines
before they kill us!
468
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,449
[ Dee Ranting ]
You son of a bitch!
469
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,682
Come on, come on, come on.
Get it, get it, get it.
470
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,242
Just seconds ago, a car crashed
through the building,
471
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,322
and the crowd is scattering.
472
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,607
Despite the fact that the
storm has been downgraded,
473
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:15,163
the people have worked themselves
into an uncontrollable frenzy!
474
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,164
It's the end of days!
This is the end of days!
475
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,322
Pandemonium has struck!
476
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,250
Come to the bunker! Come to the bunker!
[ Screaming, Whimpering ]
477
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,084
Dennis, I got her!
Dennis, I got her!
478
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,731
[ Cro W0' Screaming ] [
Dee ] Son of a bitch!
479
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,370
[ Cricket]
Is this the hospital?
480
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,766
[ Man ]
This isn't a hospital.
481
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,848
[ Speaking Span/sh ]
[Mac Chuckling ]
482
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,888
3-D boobies.
483
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,645
Now this is news.
484
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,683
Ahora, esta tormenta no ha
pasado todavia. [Laughing]
485
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,888
Por favor,
vayan a la tienda.
486
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,883
Agarren las cosas
que necesiten para-
487
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,930
[ Voices Speaking Backwards]
488
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,961
English - US - PSDH
41733
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