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1
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,700
ROZ: Thank you for the coffee.
FRASIER: Thank you.
2
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,700
Oh, you don't have to thank me.
We're not keeping score. Heh, heh.
3
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,400
Life's too short to get worked up
4
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,600
over who owes who
for this or that or whatnot.
5
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:22,200
Let's just enjoy ourselves.
6
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,900
Whatever you want, Kenny,
the answer is no.
7
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,200
- Just hear me out.
FRASIER: Okay.
8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,000
Look, I need a favour,
but before I tell you what it is,
9
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,300
I want you to look at this.
10
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,400
"KACL Psychographics"?
11
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,900
We hired a firm to sift
through the program data
12
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,700
and give us a kind of profile
on each show's average listener.
13
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,000
FRASIER:
All right, let's see.
14
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:50,000
Gil's average listener is a woman,
mid-30s, well-educated. Hmm.
15
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,100
What about my average listener?
Who is she?
16
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:56,500
Well, actually, uh,
she's an older gentleman,
17
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,000
who likes to keep the radio on
for company.
18
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,200
Ouch.
19
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,300
Oh, and, Roz, it seems a number
of listeners think you're a man.
20
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,500
What?
21
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,200
I'm sorry the station
spent its money on this nonsense,
22
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:13,200
but this research is patently absurd!
23
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:16,100
Regardless, you could really stand
to increase your audience
24
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,400
in the youth market.
25
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,300
Well, I thought we upped
the advertising budget for that reason.
26
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,700
I did, but I need some help.
27
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,200
How would you like to be a guest
on Teen Scene?
28
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,100
I'm sorry, I've done that show before,
I'm not doing it again.
29
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,400
Doc, you could use younger listeners.
You've seen the research.
30
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:32,700
My show is fine.
31
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,100
That so-called research is nothing but
a bunch of confounded correlations
32
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,900
and mediocre deductions.
33
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,600
Excuse me.
Are you Dr. Frasier Crane?
34
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,600
- Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
- Can I get your autograph?
35
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,300
- Ah, what's your name?
- Lucy. But make it out to Paul.
36
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:48,800
I volunteer at his hospice,
37
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:52,100
and I think you're just about
the only friend he has left anymore.
38
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,400
Fine. I'll meet the kids.
39
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,700
NILES:
I have a little something for you.
40
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,500
[DAPHNE LAUGHS]
41
00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:10,000
Earrings.
42
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,600
- They're beautiful.
- Try them on.
43
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,100
I have disinfected them
with peroxide.
44
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,000
Niles, it's a lovely thought,
45
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:20,400
but, well, you kind of gave me
the exact same pair last summer.
46
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,100
- No, I did not.
- Yeah, take a look.
47
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,100
Ugh, I am so sorry.
48
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,100
Oh, don't be silly.
49
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,600
It was bound to happen sometime,
after all the nice presents you give me.
50
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,400
I'll have to get pierced
somewhere else.
51
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,200
Still, l...
52
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:42,600
[MOUTHS]
Really?
53
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,600
DAPHNE:
Well, well, look who's up.
54
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,600
How was your company party,
Mr. Crane?
55
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:49,700
Fine.
56
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,700
Sounds like it was more than just fine
if you're getting up this late.
57
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,400
- Yeah, he came in late too.
- Didn't know there was a curfew.
58
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,200
Oh, my God!
Is that lipstick on your chin?
59
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,800
It is!
60
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,200
I got kissed, okay? Big whoop.
61
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,300
- There's no lipstick on my chin.
DAPHNE: Busted!
62
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,600
[NILES LAUGHS]
63
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,400
NILES: Well, so, what's her name?
- Yeah, when can we meet her?
64
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,700
Her name's Peg,
and nobody's meeting anyone.
65
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,900
It was a just a little fooling around,
that's all.
66
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,800
- Well, are you gonna see her again?
- No, and if she calls, I'm not here.
67
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,100
Got it? I don't wanna encourage her.
68
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,100
Well, why not?
It sounds like you had fun.
69
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,500
See, this is exactly the conversation
I'm trying to avoid with Peg.
70
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,200
You kiss a girl,
and suddenly she wants to know:
71
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,700
"What does it mean?"
72
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,800
"When can I see you again?"
73
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,200
"Why don't you call me?"
74
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,800
- That's a wonderful attitude.
MARTIN: Hey, it was great.
75
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,500
I loved it, but I don't want to ruin it
by making it more than it was.
76
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,700
Women never let you
have a bite of ham.
77
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,100
They always make you
sit down for spinach.
78
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:57,900
KIRBY:
Whoa!
79
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,800
This is embarrassing, huh?
80
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:03,600
All three of us going to the same place
when we're skipping out on work.
81
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:09,900
- We are not skipping out on work.
- Right, we're all at the doctor's.
82
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:15,000
Kirby, we don't work
the same hours that you do.
83
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,800
- We're done for the day.
- Oh, yeah, that's good.
84
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,100
It's better if we don't all use
the same excuse.
85
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,700
Kirby, I think it's time for you
to straighten up.
86
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,300
You show up late every day,
87
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,800
you are inattentive,
and you have a bad attitude.
88
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,300
How do you expect to thrive in this job
or any other job?
89
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,100
I am this close
to giving you a lecture!
90
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:39,900
Hey, guys. Uh, doc, you got a minute?
There's someone I want you to meet.
91
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:45,500
Aw, dude, that's Emily Crowther,
one of the nimrods from Teen Scene.
92
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,500
You're not gonna
do that show, are you?
93
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,800
Those guys go to my old high school.
Bunch of losers.
94
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:55,800
For your information, Kirb...
Hey, I thought you were at the doctor.
95
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:59,400
I was.
Uh, he says everything is fine.
96
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:04,000
He also said I probably shouldn't
come in tomorrow till about 11:30.
97
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,000
How dumb do you think I am?
98
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,200
You will show up first thing
tomorrow morning,
99
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,600
after your Meals on Wheels delivery.
100
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,000
You got it.
101
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,500
Listen, Kenny,
I'm actually just on my way out.
102
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,900
Perhaps I could
meet this young lady tomorrow?
103
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,500
Oh, come on. Say hi to the kid.
104
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,300
- She's a big fan.
- Really?
105
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,100
Well, gosh, I would hate
to appear standoffish.
106
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,900
After all, the young lady has built up
a certain image of me in her mind,
107
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,100
and that shouldn't
be crushed, certainly.
108
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,100
Do we have to go through this
every time?
109
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,300
Go over there.
110
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,500
Emily Crowther,
Dr. Frasier Crane.
111
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,800
- Hello, Emily.
- Pleased to meet you, Dr. Crane.
112
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,800
I look forward
to having you on our show.
113
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,400
Well, technically,
I haven't agreed to do it yet.
114
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,500
You see, I had a rather bad experience
on Teen Scene the last time.
115
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,300
Are you familiar with
the new Teen Scene?
116
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,600
- Well, uh, no, actually, I'm not.
EMILY: Then you don't know
117
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,100
that we do hard-hitting journalism
with a youthful bent.
118
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,000
Of course, it's not nearly
as distinguished as your show,
119
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,500
which I adore.
120
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,100
- Really?
- Big fan.
121
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,200
Dr. Crane, may I be frank?
122
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,200
Having you on our show would be,
in your own words:
123
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,500
"A great boon to us."
124
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,100
A boon?
125
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,000
- Do you really think so?
- Oh, major boon.
126
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,500
Well, then, consider it granted.
127
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:34,400
I'm sure we'll have a splendid time.
I may even learn something from you.
128
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:35,900
Oh, you flatter me, Dr. Crane.
129
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,400
NILES: Hello.
FRASIER: Ah, Niles.
130
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,300
- Who's manning the Pasquini?
- Jimmy Ray.
131
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,800
Capital.
132
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,700
Uh, cappuccino, please.
133
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:47,300
- Hello, Roz.
ROZ: Hey, Niles.
134
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,000
What are you doing here?
135
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:52,000
Shouldn't you be out buying Daphne
another pair of earrings?
136
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,600
Oh, please, don't make me
feel any worse.
137
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:58,100
- Actually, I thought it was sweet.
- Well, I feel just awful.
138
00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,000
- You wanna know what I would do?
- Uh...
139
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,500
Oh, what the hell?
140
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,000
First of all,
enough with the earrings.
141
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,000
Everything doesn't
have to be so fancy.
142
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,900
Don't get me wrong,
jewellery is terrific.
143
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:18,500
But sometimes a woman likes to know
that you're paying attention.
144
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:24,300
Mix it up a little. Do something crazy,
I mean, totally out there.
145
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,800
Are you talking about scarves?
146
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,000
Okay, let me give you an example.
147
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:37,300
When I was 20, my boyfriend
stole a Doyle's Pub sign for me.
148
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,200
We were drunk, and we saw it,
and he said:
149
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,900
"Hey, that's your name on that sign.
You should have it."
150
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:45,400
It was spontaneous,
and a little dangerous,
151
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,400
and very romantic.
152
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,600
Spontaneous and dangerous.
153
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,100
Thanks, Roz.
154
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:59,900
You've given me something
to mull over during my herbal wrap.
155
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:09,100
Oh, good. I thought you were
gonna miss Dr. Crane on the radio.
156
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:11,900
How many times a day
is that guy on?
157
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,300
It's not his show. It's Teen Scene.
158
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,800
MARTIN: Oh, I don't have time
for that teenage crap.
159
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,900
Did I get a call from a girl today?
160
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,500
- You mean Peg?
- Or any girl. Or Peg.
161
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,300
Did Peg call?
162
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,700
- No. It's been a few days, hasn't it?
- Hmm.
163
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,700
I really thought she'd try to spring
that relationship stuff on me.
164
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,100
Well, I guess I misjudged her.
165
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,900
Unless she didn't like
her free sample.
166
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,400
[MARTIN CHUCKLES]
167
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,200
I think we can rule that out.
168
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,700
When a lady gets the full Marty Crane
treatment, she doesn't forget it.
169
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,400
And Peg got the full Marty?
170
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,000
I never give anything less.
171
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,100
So, yeah, I guess I am a little surprised
she hasn't called.
172
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,200
I mean, mostly relieved, of course,
but also surprised.
173
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,100
Well, don't feel bad.
Maybe you had an off night.
174
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,300
[SCOFFS]
175
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,300
Anything's possible, I suppose.
176
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,400
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
177
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,900
Hello?
178
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,400
Well, yes, he is.
One moment, please.
179
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,800
[MOUTHS]
It's a woman.
180
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,200
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
181
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,200
Uh-huh.
182
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,400
Oh, I think that'd be fine.
183
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,400
Thursday at 9.
184
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,600
See you then.
185
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,900
Well, look who's suddenly
in a relationship.
186
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,900
Shows you what you know.
That was the dentist.
187
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,600
- Thank goodness, right?
- Right.
188
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,900
I agree with you, sir.
189
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:14,200
The difference between valedictorian
and salutatorian is largely arbitrary.
190
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,400
Thank you, Emily. Hmm.
191
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,100
Didn't mean to go on like that,
192
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,900
but the wound is still raw.
193
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,400
- Hello, Kirby.
- Hello, Emily.
194
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,900
How's honours everything?
195
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,700
Splendid, thank you.
196
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,600
How's carrying a bunch of boxes
around a radio station?
197
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,400
Good.
198
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,900
Emily, I was thinking
that perhaps after the show
199
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,300
I could invite you and your friends
to a cheeseburger or some such.
200
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,500
- Oh, we'd like that very much.
- Ah.
201
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:46,500
- Can I get you a coffee?
- Oh, yes, thank you, Emily.
202
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,500
You know, I asked for one
a little while ago,
203
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,300
and it never showed up.
204
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,900
Now who's carrying a bunch of stuff
around a radio station?
205
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,300
Oh...
206
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,200
- Hi, Dr. Crane.
- Oh...
207
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,700
- Andy McNiff.
- Andy.
208
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,800
I'm the moderator.
I'm really glad you could make it.
209
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,000
Yes, well, likewise.
210
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,700
I look forward to some
intergenerational by-play.
211
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,200
Uh, by the way, Andy,
212
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,400
are you going to be smoking
all night?
213
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,000
Yeah.
214
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,000
Look, no matter what happens,
I'm on your side.
215
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,300
Thank you.
216
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,400
What does that mean, exactly?
217
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,800
Well, uh... Hi, guys.
218
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,600
- Your guest has arrived.
- Here's your coffee, Dr. Crane.
219
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,900
These are my colleagues,
Ryan and Trent.
220
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,800
Pleased to meet you.
We're very excited.
221
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,300
FRASIER:
Likewise. Hello, Ryan.
222
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,300
- Ten seconds, guys.
FRASIER: Ah, right.
223
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,100
You know,
you may be surprised to learn
224
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,700
that it was
not so very many years ago
225
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,600
when I myself occupied
those tough years twixt 12 and 20.
226
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,100
[CHUCKLES]
227
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,000
Hi, and welcome to Teen Scene,
228
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,000
Seattle's premier talk show
for young people.
229
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,200
I'm Andy McNiff,
and for the next 60 minutes
230
00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:00,200
we'll be engaged in some straight talk
with our special guest.
231
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,000
And here to get things rolling
is our Teen Scene panel,
232
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,300
Trent, Ryan and Emily. Trent.
233
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,400
Tonight we're talking
to Dr. Frasier Crane,
234
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:10,200
a man who knows
what makes us tick.
235
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:11,900
But what do we know about him?
236
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,700
Dr. Crane, you're a popular psychiatrist
and radio personality.
237
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,600
What would you say
is the secret of your success?
238
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,200
I suppose it has something to do
with the fact
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00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:25,000
that I am a good listener
and have a friendly voice,
240
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,800
and I also try to pass along some
real psychological insight and advice.
241
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,600
My research shows that your replies
242
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,600
are typically
less than five minutes long.
243
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,000
Doesn't seem like a lot of time
for substantive psychological advice.
244
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,800
If I believe there's a real problem,
I refer the caller to...
245
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,700
So if it's a real problem,
you pass the buck?
246
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,900
- Excuse me?
RYAN: February 9th, 1993.
247
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,600
Does that date
mean anything to you?
248
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,500
- Should it?
- According to the Boston Globe,
249
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,600
you spent two hours on a ledge
threatening to jump if your wife left.
250
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,400
How many of your listeners are aware
that they're taking advice
251
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:02,000
from a man who was nearly
a stain on the sidewalk?
252
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,600
Andy, isn't it about time
for a commercial break?
253
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:10,000
Actually, this show is a public service,
therefore commercial-free.
254
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,900
[MOUTHS]
Sorry.
255
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,300
Splendid.
256
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,200
[HUMMING]
257
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,100
[EDDIE BARKS]
258
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,300
[WHISTLES]
259
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,400
[WHISTLES]
260
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,100
[BARKING]
261
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,400
[WHISTLES]
262
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,200
Hi. Just, uh...
263
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:19,700
[WHISTLES]
264
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,800
[EDDIE BARKING]
265
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,700
[SIREN WAILS]
266
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,900
Well, hi, Peg.
267
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,600
Jeez, I didn't know you were
working the graveyard tonight.
268
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,800
All this month.
What brings you here?
269
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,500
Actually,
I was in the neighbourhood,
270
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,200
and I wanted to make sure
they'd fixed that elevator camera.
271
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,500
But, see,
I thought Rich was on tonight,
272
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:14,000
which explains
why I didn't know you'd be here.
273
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,900
Right.
274
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,100
- Well, it's fixed.
- Well, that's good.
275
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,000
Somebody broke it.
276
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,700
Okay, then.
277
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,500
- See you later.
- See you.
278
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,400
Hey, how come
I never heard from you?
279
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,700
Oh, jeez...
280
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,400
Well, I was under the impression
we had some chemistry going.
281
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,700
I think I deserved
at least a phone call.
282
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,800
Hey, we made out a little.
283
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,700
Let's not ruin it
by making it more than it was.
284
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,400
- Just what I was thinking.
- Good.
285
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,500
Then it won't be awkward or anything
if we pull the same shift, right?
286
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,700
What are you talking about?
Don't worry about me.
287
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:58,500
- Watch yourself. Heh.
- Ha-ha-ha. Okay.
288
00:15:58,700 --> 00:15:59,900
No worries.
289
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,100
- So I'll see you around, then.
- Yeah, see you.
290
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,500
Hey, you going
to Jerry's retirement party?
291
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,900
- Uh, might drop in for a pop or two.
- Yeah, same.
292
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:15,300
- Maybe I'll see you there.
- Yeah, maybe you will.
293
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,400
[PEG CHUCKLES]
294
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:23,800
Again, I freely admit
that I assisted my ex-wife
295
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:27,400
in psychological experiments
on lab animals.
296
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,600
However, at that time
297
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,300
putting a pair of sunglasses on
a monkey did not constitute cruelty.
298
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,900
We'll just agree to disagree.
299
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,300
You know, I scarcely see how this line
of questioning about my personal life
300
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,900
- can benefit your listeners.
- Well, Dr. Crane,
301
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,800
every day you ask your listeners
to blindly trust you.
302
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,900
Isn't the public entitled
to know a little more
303
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:52,800
about that friendly voice
that seems to have all the answers?
304
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:59,200
Oh, I understand.
305
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,800
This isn't about me at all.
306
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:03,000
You see, your combative
line of questioning
307
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,800
is completely age-appropriate.
308
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,100
The challenging of authority,
the zeal for truth.
309
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,300
RYAN:
Speaking of truth,
310
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,200
I have a few questions
about your last tax return.
311
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,600
I hate to interrupt, panel, but it's time
for our regular news break.
312
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:21,100
We'll be back with more
Teen Scene fun after this.
313
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:26,100
Dr. Crane,
could I borrow you for a second?
314
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,600
You're doing great.
315
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,400
- Dude, you're in trouble here.
- Thanks for the update.
316
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,900
Take it easy, Mr. Snappy.
317
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,700
I'm here to help you.
318
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,900
Can you believe
that Kirby guy works here?
319
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,900
I can't believe
they finally graduated him.
320
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,400
Remember, guys,
you're still goodwill ambassadors...
321
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,300
We weren't talking to you.
322
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,900
Okay.
323
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,400
- Everything okay, Dr. Crane?
- Absolutely.
324
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,800
I didn't fully appreciate the hard-hitting
nature of your journalism,
325
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,000
but I think I know
how to handle it now.
326
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,700
We're back with more Teen Scene,
327
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,100
and our special guest,
Dr. Frasier Crane.
328
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,600
Now, Dr. Crane, where were we?
329
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,500
I believe we were discussing
my competence
330
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,000
as a mental-health professional.
331
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,900
And though it is true
that I have suffered
332
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,800
several emotional setbacks
in my life,
333
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,600
if we are to be honest,
haven't we all?
334
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,900
And that's your defence?
That we all have problems?
335
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,000
[ALL SCOFF]
336
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:36,000
Perhaps I can better illustrate my point
by reading from a poem entitled:
337
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,400
"An Onion for Trisha."
338
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,800
Where did you get that?
339
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,700
My heart is like an onion
340
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:46,300
Filled with layers of tears
341
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,200
Why, oh, why did you leave me,Trisha?
342
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,200
- Okay, give me that!
- Trisha Sharpe?
343
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:54,000
You said you never liked her.
344
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,000
Ooh, Trent, tough blow!
345
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,500
Yes, it seems
that youthful relationships
346
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,100
are fraught with emotional hazards.
347
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,200
Especially in the case
of a young woman
348
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:12,400
who finds her first love
at math camp.
349
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,200
- What happened at math camp?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
350
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,800
- Uh, Dr. Crane...
- Yes, Ryan,
351
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:21,700
or as the boys
on the swim team call you...
352
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:25,500
So do you have any good advice
for kids that wanna go to college?
353
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,800
As a matter of fact, I believe I do.
354
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,400
In short, caller,
there is nothing wrong with you.
355
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,600
And you're not going to get sick.
356
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:43,400
But remember,
the more frequently you do it,
357
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,500
the less special it becomes.
358
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,100
I hope that answers your question.
359
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,600
MAN [OVER PHONE]:
Uh, yeah. Well, uh, thanks a lot.
360
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,200
Well, that about wraps it up
for tonight's Teen Scene.
361
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,600
For Trent, Ryan and Emily,
this is Andy McNiff,
362
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:06,300
reminding you we're still taking
applications for the moderator's job,
363
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,800
and wishing you a teen-tastic week.
364
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,700
Good night.
365
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:15,600
- Thanks, kids. I had fun.
- Yeah, thanks.
366
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,600
Thank you. You made my month.
367
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:21,500
[CHUCKLES]
368
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,900
Way to go, Dr. Crane!
That was sweet.
369
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,900
I'm not exactly
proud of myself, Kirby.
370
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,400
You should be, man.
Those dinks brought it on themselves.
371
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,600
They were like,
"We're gonna get this old dude."
372
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,700
And then you were like,
"Old dude? Say what?" And it was like:
373
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:40,200
Wham! Wham! Smack-down!
Boom! Boom! Doc...
374
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,300
Well said, Kirby. Uh...
375
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,800
And thank you for helping me out.
376
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:49,700
By the way,
how did you dig up all that stuff?
377
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:54,400
Oh, let's just say I got a few
operatives who were, uh, held back.
378
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,200
Ah. Heh-heh-heh.
379
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:59,700
KIRBY: Hey, you know, why don't
you and I continue this conversation
380
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:04,000
over a cheeseburger or some such?
381
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,700
FRASIER:
I'd like that very much.
30348
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