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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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As you all know, I
have recently enrolled
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in Orlando State University's
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prestigious school
administration program.
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I was holding for applause.
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Thank you, thank you. You're too kind.
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It's time this bird flew back to school
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to become the teacher-boss
she was always meant to be.
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I won't be around as
much, but don't worry.
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I will be leaving you
in very capable hands.
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Everybody, please give your full
attention and respect to...
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Evan.
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Thank you. It's an honor.
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Evan's in charge? But what about Dad?
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Oh, well, I can't be in charge
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'cause I'm too busy
running the restaurant.
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Yes, that's exactly it.
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I have appointed Evan to the
position of Vice Mommy.
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Vice Mommy? Sounds like a made-up job.
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Well, "Emery" sounds like
a made-up name, so...
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[Chuckles]
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Vice Mommy, the floor is yours.
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I want to work with you, not at you,
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so, please, for the love of God,
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work with me.
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I don't hear applause.
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com
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♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
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♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪
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♪ If you don't know,
homey, now you know ♪
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♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
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♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪
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♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪
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♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪
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There's a cookie in here
with your name on it,
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but promise me you'll
eat your carrots first.
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Yes, Vice Mommy.
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[Rustling, zipper closes]
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Wait, did you...
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Hide Dad's purple tie so he
doesn't waste 15 minutes
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debating if he can pull it off? Yes.
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Good. Did you...
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Clean the hair out of the drain
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so Emery doesn't think
it's a shower rat?
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No. He needs to learn.
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Yes.
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He must be braver.
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[Sighs] I guess I'm just nervous.
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As the roaring engine of
the Huang family machine,
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I'm afraid things will
fall apart without me.
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Maybe I should just stay home,
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put school off for another year...
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or 10.
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Woman! That's crazy talk!
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This is your dream!
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I know, but what if Eddie
forgets to pack for Taiwan
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or Grandma succeeds in
throwing that party
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she's been threatening
to throw for two years?
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Relax. I've got you covered.
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I've even scheduled Vice Mommy Reports,
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or "VMRs."
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Each night, we'll decompress
over a game of Scrabble,
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and I'll fill you in on
news from the home front.
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Sounds good.
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Sprinkle in some current events, too.
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I like to be informed.
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Come on. You'll miss the bus.
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I'm driving.
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They grow up so fast.
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Thank you, Evan.
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I don't know what I'd do without you.
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[Door opens, closes]
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Don't even think about it.
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[Sighs] Why are you such a bummer?
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Because things are changing around here.
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A lesser boy may be worried
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about losing his mommy
to school, but not me.
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I'm gonna make sure
everything runs perfectly
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so that Mommy will have more
than enough time for me.
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_
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I'll take that as a compliment.
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Now, please,
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turn around and count to 30
so I can hide the phone.
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[Button clacks]
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[Whirring]
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Hey, delivery boy,
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these guys may look like regular cans,
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but they're all secretly wallets.
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You can borrow 'em for your trip.
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Oh, thanks!
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But I'll respectfully pass
on "Sensitive Skin" here.
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Don't want thieves thinking I
can't handle a normal shave.
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Oh, man.
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I can't believe you're traveling
abroad, all by yourself.
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Yeah, I'm pretty stoked for
this cultural exchange program.
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I feel worldly and mature,
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00:03:28,632 --> 00:03:30,566
like I just tried sushi
for the first time.
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And you're not freaked out at all?
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Taiwan's pretty far away.
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Like, farther than England.
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The only thing I'm nervous about
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is asking Tina to be my
girlfriend before I go.
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She challenged me to improve
myself, and I think I have.
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I noticed you've been
carrying around a hanky.
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Oh, my gentleman's napkin?
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Yeah.
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I think I'm ready to ask her out.
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I'd say so.
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You and my sister going
steady... how thrilling.
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Have you picked out the pin? Can I see?
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The pin?
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To make it official, my dad says
you have to offer up a pin.
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I keep one on me at all times.
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Oh, crap.
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Is this another one of the old
man's antiquated customs?
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Until last year, I thought
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every family practiced
hiding underground
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in case the Ruskis get any ideas.
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[Triangle clanging]
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Gather 'round, Cattlemen and women!
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It is that time of the month.
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Uh, I mean, it's Employee of
the Month time. [Chuckles]
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Now, the winner of this month's award
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is clearly driven.
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He's had this in the bag.
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He never phones it in,
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00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:29,459
but you can always count
on him to deliver.
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[Chuckles] I wonder who it is!
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The winner is...
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my baby boy...
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Who is it?
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You still don't get it?
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...Eddie! [Chuckles]
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Huh. Must be nice to be the boss' son.
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Uh, Dad, thanks, but I don't want you
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to give me special treatment
just because I'm your son.
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No, there's no special treatment.
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You earned this fair and square.
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[Baby-talking] I can't
help it if my little boy
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is killing it at his big, grown-up job!
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[Chuckles]
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Wow, our first Asian
Employee of the Month.
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What took so long, Louis?
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[Grunts] Sat on my pin!
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Don't you dare tell anyone
I'm dating my butt.
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I'm adding an "I-V-E."
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"Productive"!
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Which is what I've been
while you were at school.
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Is this really your best work?
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- Yeah.
- Okay.
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If you think it's your best
work, then I believe you.
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00:05:28,736 --> 00:05:31,571
Mm. These definitely
aren't worker hands.
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Smooth as the city.
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Sorry. It's what Mommy would say.
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So, uh, a li'l birdie told me
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you were making it official with Tina.
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Let me guess. Is this li'l
birdie dating his own butt?
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Ah, ah, ah!
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Personal conversations after chores.
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Pretty good job, right?
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Mommy?
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This is our time.
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- I'm totally listening. What's up?
- Something wrong?
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You played "sad" and didn't
make anything plural.
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I'm thinking about school.
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Oh. I see.
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I got a B on my first assignment.
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Not you! You're an A-plus Mommy!
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- How did this happen?!
- I don't know!
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I'm doing my best, and
the professor loves me.
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I mean, can you blame her?
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Well, what can I do to help?
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I am your Vice Mommy, after all.
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And you're doing a great job.
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I'm sure I'll figure it out.
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I think I'm gonna turn in.
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We'll just call this a tie.
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A tie?
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[Whirring]
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So, I don't need a big party.
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What if I invite, like,
oh, four friends over?
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We stay in my room.
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My friends are cool.
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We'll keep it chill.
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Not now.
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I'm losing Mommy time
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because she's not doing well in school.
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I wish she would just let me help.
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You? Help?
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[Laughs] What you going to do, huh?
190
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Stow away in her backpack?
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[Laughs]
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Ah. Toasted.
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[Laughs]
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00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:03,830
[Door opens, closes]
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00:07:03,831 --> 00:07:06,632
Big tips tonight. Look close.
You might even see a Lincoln.
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00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,868
What the hell?
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00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,596
TRENT: Whew! Quite a load.
198
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,789
You got your nickel's
worth out of that diaper.
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00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:15,611
The whole staff signed it
to wish you a good trip!
200
00:07:15,612 --> 00:07:17,510
- Do you like it?
- No! I hate it!
201
00:07:17,511 --> 00:07:19,145
I-I'm not wearing pants
in some of these.
202
00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:20,928
Oh, come on. You're adorable!
203
00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:22,965
Look at those tender baby-boy thighs.
204
00:07:22,966 --> 00:07:24,700
Don't call me "baby boy"!
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00:07:24,701 --> 00:07:26,019
Chad can totally hear us.
206
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:30,423
Just look busy, like
you can't even hear.
207
00:07:30,424 --> 00:07:32,441
Listen, you're doing so great at work,
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00:07:32,442 --> 00:07:34,460
and you're about to
travel abroad all alone.
209
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:35,795
I can't help but be proud.
210
00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:36,963
Fine, but that doesn't mean
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00:07:36,964 --> 00:07:39,198
you need to broadcast
your feelings at work.
212
00:07:39,199 --> 00:07:41,968
Just... act like my boss, please.
213
00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:43,970
I'm nothing if not boss-like.
214
00:07:43,971 --> 00:07:45,405
Well, most bosses don't have access
215
00:07:45,406 --> 00:07:46,874
to their employees' baby pictures.
216
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,976
Please, just leave your dad hat at home.
217
00:07:50,912 --> 00:07:53,012
[Sighs] No more special treatment.
218
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:55,615
I'm your employee here. That's it.
219
00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:59,235
But you bought me Springsteen
tickets for Father's Day!
220
00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:00,836
The Boss on Father's Day?
221
00:08:00,837 --> 00:08:02,288
You started this confusion!
222
00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:04,273
If we're changing our
Employee of the Month photos,
223
00:08:04,274 --> 00:08:06,325
I'd love to use one where
my eyes aren't so open.
224
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,582
I'd also love a few weeks
so I can get a tan.
225
00:08:14,551 --> 00:08:17,236
Just so you know, none
of these are plastic.
226
00:08:17,237 --> 00:08:18,454
Thank you, Jessica.
227
00:08:18,455 --> 00:08:20,356
With this harvest, I won't
have to visit the doctor
228
00:08:20,357 --> 00:08:21,524
for at least a month.
229
00:08:21,525 --> 00:08:23,359
[Forced laughter]
230
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,555
Oh, that's a very good joke, Professor.
231
00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:30,066
Let's remember this
happy feeling always.
232
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,717
You know, especially come grading time.
233
00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:33,986
[Chuckles]
234
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,159
'Scuse me.
235
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,319
Is this seat taken?
236
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,198
- Evan?
- That's right.
237
00:08:41,199 --> 00:08:42,977
There's a new big man on campus,
238
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:44,637
and he's little.
239
00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:50,583
Evan, this is grown-up school.
240
00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:51,889
Kids aren't allowed here.
241
00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:53,474
It's okay. I'm only here to help.
242
00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:54,642
I'm an excellent student.
243
00:08:54,643 --> 00:08:56,311
Is this a friend of yours?
244
00:08:56,312 --> 00:08:59,230
[Forced laughter] Each joke
funnier than the last.
245
00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:01,115
- Mm.
- Evan Huang.
246
00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:02,951
Believe it or not, this
young lady right here
247
00:09:02,952 --> 00:09:03,918
is my mother.
248
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,586
Good genes. What can I say?
249
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:09,824
Sorry to impose, but we had
some childcare issues.
250
00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:11,676
It's so hard to find
good help these days.
251
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:12,727
Isn't it, though?
252
00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:14,395
Is it all right if I stay?
253
00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:16,064
I have some... coloring to catch up on.
254
00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:17,248
You won't even know I'm here.
255
00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:19,016
I don't see why not.
256
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,418
[Chuckles]
257
00:09:20,419 --> 00:09:21,936
[Sighs]
258
00:09:26,676 --> 00:09:29,026
I'm afraid my class
load is far too great
259
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,742
for me to hold office hours.
260
00:09:30,743 --> 00:09:34,549
Instead, uh, you all know
my T.A., Burt Palouska.
261
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:36,951
"Professor too busy.
262
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,487
Needs help from Burt Papusa."
263
00:09:39,488 --> 00:09:41,639
Burt is more than willing to help.
264
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,375
He is going to pass out a
sign-up sheet right now.
265
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,178
A little bit about me...
My full name is Ferburt.
266
00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:48,713
I am not a family man.
267
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:49,697
I do have s...
268
00:09:49,698 --> 00:09:51,182
Burt, the sign-up sheet.
269
00:09:51,183 --> 00:09:52,300
Oh. Right.
270
00:09:54,537 --> 00:09:56,537
Oh, no, thanks. You're
not the real teacher.
271
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,006
Oh.
272
00:10:01,911 --> 00:10:03,444
Bingo.
273
00:10:07,784 --> 00:10:10,385
I didn't realize this trip
required so much shaving.
274
00:10:10,386 --> 00:10:12,503
Oh, my travel cans? They're
all secretly wallets.
275
00:10:12,504 --> 00:10:13,754
I stored all my money in them.
276
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:17,909
Emery, you're supposedly
good with ladies, right?
277
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,210
This is supposedly true.
278
00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:20,247
Well, let me ask you.
279
00:10:20,248 --> 00:10:21,763
If I wanted to impress Tina,
280
00:10:21,764 --> 00:10:23,547
would cooking her a romantic
dinner be a good idea?
281
00:10:23,548 --> 00:10:24,673
That's a great idea.
282
00:10:24,674 --> 00:10:26,817
She'll melt just like
butter on top of...
283
00:10:26,818 --> 00:10:27,952
some hot food.
284
00:10:27,953 --> 00:10:28,803
[Chuckles]
285
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:29,954
LOUIS: You know, the person
286
00:10:29,955 --> 00:10:31,606
you should be thinking
about is your boss.
287
00:10:31,607 --> 00:10:33,391
Have you told him about your trip?
288
00:10:33,392 --> 00:10:34,509
Dad, you know about my trip.
289
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,483
Oh, yes, I know about your trip,
290
00:10:36,484 --> 00:10:38,012
but your boss doesn't.
291
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,013
I'm lost.
292
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,365
Did a famous musician take
over Cattleman's again?
293
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:44,719
Well, since we're at home,
I have my dad hat on.
294
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,121
Allow me to give you
some fatherly advice.
295
00:10:47,122 --> 00:10:48,536
Whenever you take a trip,
296
00:10:48,537 --> 00:10:50,496
you always need to check in at work,
297
00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:53,027
fill out the proper
time-off forms, et cetera.
298
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,128
For real?
299
00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:55,263
For real.
300
00:10:55,264 --> 00:10:57,815
You said you didn't want
any special treatment.
301
00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:01,335
Ew. All your money's wet.
302
00:11:02,638 --> 00:11:05,067
Wow. College is like
the Wild, Wild West.
303
00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:07,442
People coming and going
without bathroom passes.
304
00:11:07,443 --> 00:11:08,843
Somebody had a computer.
305
00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:10,828
There was a girl who could
sit on her own hair.
306
00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:12,246
Ugh. Denise.
307
00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:14,449
When she buns it up, I
can't see the board.
308
00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:16,701
Well, it was so great
spending the day together.
309
00:11:16,702 --> 00:11:18,925
And also, I figured out your problem.
310
00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,955
- It's Burt.
- What's Burt?
311
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:23,191
The T.A. He holds the key to your A.
312
00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:25,041
Guy who turns on the projector?
313
00:11:25,042 --> 00:11:27,979
Yeah. He's also the one
who grades the papers
314
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,297
and does all the grunt work
315
00:11:29,298 --> 00:11:31,032
while the professor
soaks in all the glory.
316
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:32,840
He's the wind beneath her wings.
317
00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:34,994
Exactly. So you need to win him over.
318
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,507
Go to his office hours. Invite
him over here to dinner.
319
00:11:37,508 --> 00:11:40,545
And together, we'll charm him
all the way to A-Plus Town.
320
00:11:40,546 --> 00:11:41,792
Or, better yet...
321
00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,751
- A-Plus City.
- Mm.
322
00:11:43,752 --> 00:11:46,113
It's like a town, but with
more people and more crime.
323
00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:50,701
There comes a time in
every young man's life
324
00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,420
when he's faced with the question...
325
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,922
Are you gonna beat this
duck à l'orange recipe,
326
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,842
or are you gonna let this duck
à l'orange recipe beat you?
327
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:58,861
Scoot over, li'l bro.
328
00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,713
I gotta cook for my would-be
lady before I leave.
329
00:12:00,714 --> 00:12:02,924
- Work my culinary magic.
- Sorry, can't.
330
00:12:02,925 --> 00:12:05,182
I need the kitchen so I
can dazzle Burt Papusa.
331
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,701
Who the hell is Burt Papusa?
332
00:12:06,702 --> 00:12:09,238
I don't have time to explain
who everyone is to you!
333
00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:11,394
If you look at the family schedule,
334
00:12:11,395 --> 00:12:13,674
you'll see that I have
reserved the kitchen.
335
00:12:13,675 --> 00:12:16,844
As Vice Mommy, I'm gonna have
to insist that you leave.
336
00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:18,532
You're gonna have to
find another kitchen
337
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:20,331
for your little flirt fest.
338
00:12:20,332 --> 00:12:21,805
What is going on in this house?
339
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,911
You're the mom, Dad's the boss,
340
00:12:23,912 --> 00:12:25,840
and Grandma asked me to
drive her to get a keg.
341
00:12:25,841 --> 00:12:27,371
Please tell me you didn't.
342
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,607
Relax. She refused to put a
deposit down on the tap,
343
00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:30,908
so we just turned around.
344
00:12:30,909 --> 00:12:32,326
[Sighs]
345
00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:35,906
Damn, girl! You finished
that whole steak!
346
00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,833
[Thinking] What was
that? Come on, Huang!
347
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,219
You're trying to ask this girl out!
348
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,498
I'm just messing with you. [Laughs]
349
00:12:42,499 --> 00:12:44,463
You're damn right I
ate that whole steak!
350
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,389
I always finish what I start.
351
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,825
I'm not afraid of commitment.
352
00:12:47,826 --> 00:12:49,586
Oh, man, she's giving you nothing.
353
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:51,095
You're just gonna have to go for it.
354
00:12:51,096 --> 00:12:52,897
Um, look, Tina.
355
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,701
I have something I want to ask.
356
00:12:54,702 --> 00:12:55,942
What's all this?
357
00:12:56,535 --> 00:12:57,886
Hey, Mr. Huang.
358
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:00,171
Tina. Always a pleasure.
359
00:13:00,172 --> 00:13:02,139
Ooh, clean plate club. Nice. [Chuckles]
360
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:03,661
Eddie, a word, please?
361
00:13:04,622 --> 00:13:07,128
Dad, you just interrupted
my romantic moment.
362
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:09,346
Look, no one wants you and
Tina together more than me,
363
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:11,582
but you used the work
kitchen without permission.
364
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,935
If you were any other
employee, you'd be fired.
365
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:16,237
See, Evan kicked me out, so
I had to find another...
366
00:13:16,238 --> 00:13:17,259
Stop right there.
367
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,973
We're at work. I have my boss hat on.
368
00:13:18,974 --> 00:13:21,142
I can't get in the middle
of your family drama.
369
00:13:21,143 --> 00:13:22,531
Come on, Dad. You're
taking this too far.
370
00:13:22,532 --> 00:13:24,218
You're the one who wanted
to draw these lines,
371
00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:26,230
but only when it was convenient for you.
372
00:13:26,231 --> 00:13:27,882
Clean the kitchen... now!
373
00:13:27,883 --> 00:13:29,783
I should let you get back to work.
374
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:31,919
Um, I'll walk you out.
375
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,821
It's fine. Do your thing.
376
00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,148
I'll see you later, okay?
377
00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:41,112
Thanks a lot, boss.
378
00:13:48,424 --> 00:13:49,687
It was worth the battle
379
00:13:49,688 --> 00:13:52,123
to get Mommy to buy these butter knives.
380
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:54,125
[Door opens]
381
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:55,826
Evan, your plan worked.
382
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:56,994
Oh, it did?
383
00:13:56,995 --> 00:13:58,262
What a surprise!
384
00:13:58,263 --> 00:14:00,998
Burt was thrilled that I
attended his office hours.
385
00:14:00,999 --> 00:14:02,700
Yes. I love it.
386
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:05,269
Where is that son of a gun?
My duck's getting cold.
387
00:14:05,270 --> 00:14:07,004
Oh, change of plans.
388
00:14:07,005 --> 00:14:09,143
Burt invited me to join his study group
389
00:14:09,145 --> 00:14:10,307
that meets tonight!
390
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,076
So, he's not coming for dinner?
391
00:14:12,077 --> 00:14:13,277
No.
392
00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:15,112
But the duck looks great, though.
393
00:14:15,113 --> 00:14:17,181
You keep cooking like
this for the family,
394
00:14:17,182 --> 00:14:18,749
you're gonna make me look bad.
395
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:20,484
Wait!
396
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,419
We still need to do our VMR.
397
00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:25,222
Oh, you don't have to do
those for me anymore.
398
00:14:25,223 --> 00:14:27,107
I know you have
everything under control.
399
00:14:28,089 --> 00:14:29,093
[Door closes]
400
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,694
Hey, Julia Child.
401
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,236
I'm taking this guy back to my room.
402
00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,642
Maybe a fun party
403
00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:40,711
will turn your frown upside-down?
404
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,047
[Sighs] I can't believe
my plan backfired.
405
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,183
Instead of securing
more time with Mommy,
406
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:48,319
I've pushed her into the
waiting arms of Burt Papusa.
407
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,840
Aren't you going to ask
who Burt Papusa is?
408
00:14:52,841 --> 00:14:54,843
I assume he's a wrestler.
409
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:57,463
Well, he's wrestled Mommy away
from me. That's for sure.
410
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,266
As long as you're taking
care of everything here,
411
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:04,570
she will be free to focus on
wrestling her new friends.
412
00:15:07,914 --> 00:15:09,047
You're right!
413
00:15:09,049 --> 00:15:11,384
Maybe I've been going
about this the wrong way.
414
00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:14,647
Maybe you and I can
both get what we want.
415
00:15:15,683 --> 00:15:17,971
Listen, I'm not gonna tell
you where the phone is,
416
00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:19,210
but I will tell you
417
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:21,854
it's somewhere that rhymes with "coven."
418
00:15:23,324 --> 00:15:24,740
Hmm.
419
00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:25,958
"Coven."
420
00:15:26,961 --> 00:15:28,060
Oh!
421
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,978
Oven. It's in the oven. I
hid the phone in the oven.
422
00:15:32,979 --> 00:15:35,050
[School bell rings]
423
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:36,752
[Indistinct conversations]
424
00:15:36,753 --> 00:15:38,854
Here's my leave-of-absence
paperwork for Cattleman's.
425
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,042
Dad said I should give it to you.
426
00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,323
Do we have to do this here?
427
00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:43,042
I like to keep work and school separate.
428
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,778
- Not you, too!
- Whoa! Easy, cowboy.
429
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,313
Tell your old pal Trent what's wrong.
430
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,076
I asked my dad to respect my boundaries,
431
00:15:49,077 --> 00:15:50,442
and now he's being a tyrant.
432
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:53,235
A tyrant? That doesn't sound
like the Louis I know and love.
433
00:15:53,236 --> 00:15:54,287
Don't take his side!
434
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:56,489
Oh, sorry. This is awkward for me.
435
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,190
I'm really good friends with you both.
436
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,126
You have to admit we
wouldn't be in this fight
437
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,295
if he didn't lay on the
special treatment so thick.
438
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,897
Eddie, you're not the only one
who gets special treatment.
439
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,799
Remember when I made the honor roll
440
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,167
and he named that dessert after me?
441
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,569
Trent-a-misu? Yeah.
442
00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:10,970
And when Hector adopted that cat?
443
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:14,523
♪ Happy Meow Day to you ♪
444
00:16:14,524 --> 00:16:16,809
♪ Happy Meow Day to you ♪
445
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,310
I didn't know you were in there!
446
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:21,430
Your dad treats all us
employees like family.
447
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:22,765
I feel terrible.
448
00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:24,688
I just got so self-conscious
when Hector said,
449
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,586
"Must be nice to be the boss' son."
450
00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,882
Oh. He meant that literally.
Don't feel bad.
451
00:16:28,883 --> 00:16:31,140
Hector's a puzzle I've been
trying to solve for months.
452
00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:33,159
Wow. And you're really
good at puzzles, too.
453
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,405
I know!
454
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:37,597
♪ I like Angela, Pamela,
Sandra, and Rita ♪
455
00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:40,499
♪ And as I continue, you
know they getting sweeter ♪
456
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,935
♪ So what can I do? I
really beg you, my Lord ♪
457
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:45,955
♪ To me, flirting is just like a sport ♪
458
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,790
What the hell is this?
459
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:49,550
"MTV Beach House"?
460
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:53,963
You guys know you can
smoke in here, huh?
461
00:16:53,964 --> 00:16:56,799
I don't care. I live in the garage!
462
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,566
[Laughter]
463
00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:00,352
Jenny, I have told you a
thousand times... No parties!
464
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:03,447
_
465
00:17:03,861 --> 00:17:05,961
_
466
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,260
I'll deal with you later. Where's Evan?
467
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,363
I'm over here.
468
00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:13,199
[Sighs]
469
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,525
Evan!
470
00:17:14,526 --> 00:17:17,069
You were supposed to be
in charge. What happened?
471
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:20,373
I tried to stop her, but I
only have so much power.
472
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:21,807
I'm just Vice Mommy.
473
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,743
Don't you take that
matronizing tone with me.
474
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,097
Okay, party's over!
475
00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:29,507
Everybody out!
476
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,488
[People groaning]
477
00:17:32,489 --> 00:17:34,003
Don't make me call your kids!
478
00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:35,921
♪ Jump up and down, move it all... ♪
479
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,175
[Triangle clanging]
480
00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:42,962
Cattlemen and women, gather 'round!
481
00:17:42,963 --> 00:17:45,473
Eddie, I don't remember giving
you permission to ring Gertie.
482
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:46,598
It'll be worth it. Trust me.
483
00:17:47,453 --> 00:17:48,901
I'd like to start by saying
484
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,037
I had the Huang attitude
about Employee of the Month.
485
00:17:51,038 --> 00:17:54,006
"Huang" is a substitute for
"wrong." Nice wordplay.
486
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,307
I would like to take this opportunity
487
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,909
to formally apologize
to a special someone.
488
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,595
If he was a city, he'd be St. Louis.
489
00:17:59,596 --> 00:18:00,663
Is it me?
490
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:02,014
Where are you going with this, Eddie?
491
00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:03,896
I'm sorry I was such a jerk before.
492
00:18:03,897 --> 00:18:05,768
You're not only the
best dad in the world,
493
00:18:05,769 --> 00:18:07,102
you're also the best boss.
494
00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:08,137
[Chuckles]
495
00:18:08,138 --> 00:18:09,521
So, with your blessing,
496
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,840
I would like to re-accept
Employee of the Month,
497
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,158
but under one condition.
498
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,327
That you share it with me.
499
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:18,665
[Gasps]
500
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:20,099
I'd be honored.
501
00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:27,039
Sorry I went overboard
with the baby pictures.
502
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,341
I've just really enjoyed
you working here,
503
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,360
and I wanted to make
sure you knew how I felt
504
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,728
before you left for Taiwan.
505
00:18:32,729 --> 00:18:34,013
I always know how you feel,
506
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:35,681
embarrassing special treatment or not.
507
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,733
Well, shall we get back to it?
508
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,334
Sure, but I have one more favor.
509
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,187
I know we're at work, but
can you put your dad hat
510
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,838
back on long enough to
give me advice about Tina?
511
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:44,573
[Sighs]
512
00:18:44,574 --> 00:18:46,558
Find me on your break.
513
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,912
This is what happens when I'm away?
514
00:18:49,913 --> 00:18:52,765
Yes. I guess you should just
quit now and come back home.
515
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,717
You going back to school
was a big mistake.
516
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:57,912
No, my big mistake was giving
you too much responsibility!
517
00:18:57,913 --> 00:18:59,412
Maybe I should put Emery in charge.
518
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:01,307
- He can't handle it!
- I can't handle it.
519
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,342
Hey, w-why not me?
520
00:19:04,255 --> 00:19:05,215
[Sighs]
521
00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:06,862
It wasn't too much for me.
522
00:19:06,863 --> 00:19:08,664
I let Grandma have the party on purpose.
523
00:19:08,665 --> 00:19:09,898
What?!
524
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,334
What is going on with you?
Why would you do that?
525
00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:13,244
Because!
526
00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:15,838
You were obsessed with
school, not to mention Burt.
527
00:19:15,839 --> 00:19:17,689
- Who's Burt?
- Not now!
528
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:19,458
A hot wrestler.
529
00:19:20,628 --> 00:19:23,212
[Sighs] I thought I could handle
you going back to school,
530
00:19:23,213 --> 00:19:25,164
but I'm afraid I'm losing you.
531
00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:29,518
Evan, you're not losing me.
532
00:19:29,519 --> 00:19:31,641
I know this is a big adjustment.
533
00:19:31,642 --> 00:19:33,489
You know, when you first started school,
534
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:35,224
I was scared of losing you, too.
535
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,076
- Really?
- Yes.
536
00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:38,695
And it was hard.
537
00:19:38,696 --> 00:19:41,063
But then I saw how great
school was for you.
538
00:19:41,064 --> 00:19:42,197
You were so happy.
539
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:43,832
The classroom was my playground.
540
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,169
You came home every day with
something new to tell me,
541
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:48,837
and I need to make sure
I can do the same.
542
00:19:48,838 --> 00:19:52,474
So Vice Mommy Reports are back on.
543
00:19:52,475 --> 00:19:53,475
No exceptions.
544
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:54,309
Deal?
545
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,044
Deal.
546
00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:57,980
You hear that, you two?
547
00:19:57,981 --> 00:19:59,364
Clean up this mess.
548
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,986
_
549
00:20:00,988 --> 00:20:02,518
You wanted this party so badly.
550
00:20:02,519 --> 00:20:05,788
I'll clean whatever. I'm just
happy not to be in charge.
551
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,095
You'll be happy to know
552
00:20:07,096 --> 00:20:09,191
that I helped Eddie avoid
a packing disaster.
553
00:20:09,192 --> 00:20:11,281
He had all these cans in his suitcase.
554
00:20:11,282 --> 00:20:12,828
I threw them all in the recycling
555
00:20:12,829 --> 00:20:14,963
so he knew he had to pack for real.
556
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,125
- I've taught you well.
- Mm.
557
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:22,817
Tina, I'll cut right to
it. I'm shipping out.
558
00:20:22,819 --> 00:20:24,152
Okay...?
559
00:20:24,153 --> 00:20:25,761
I know we've been figuring
out our relationship,
560
00:20:25,762 --> 00:20:28,557
but I'm here to tell you,
I'm a one-woman man...
561
00:20:28,558 --> 00:20:29,808
And that woman is you.
562
00:20:30,589 --> 00:20:33,028
I'm not gonna force your hand,
but I want you to know,
563
00:20:33,029 --> 00:20:34,629
while I'm away, I'll be thinking of you.
564
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,833
And when I return, I want to
take you out on a romantic date.
565
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,911
I'm thinking... hot wings?
566
00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:41,578
What do you say?
567
00:20:50,489 --> 00:20:51,496
Well?
568
00:20:52,409 --> 00:20:53,982
Your boy's off the market!
569
00:20:53,983 --> 00:20:55,123
[Laughs] Yes!
570
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:56,566
That's my employee!
571
00:20:56,567 --> 00:20:58,053
[Laughs]
572
00:20:58,054 --> 00:21:02,053
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com
41313
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